The Complete History of Humans
Intro
Thousands of years ago, before the unification of the three pony tribes, there existed a great and horrible race called Humans. These creatures stood on two legs, and were devoid of fur, except for their head. These creatures were cruel. They enslaved all other creatures, sentient or not, on the planet. They were even able to control the dragons. They ate both meat and plants, yet their diet mostly consisted of meat from the creatures they ruled.
Even the demons of Tartarus would think twice about approaching these beings. But just how were these creatures able to conquer the world? It was a combination of their ferociousness, tactical genius and strange powers. Humans had unparalleled physical strength, speed, and endurance. They were capable of moving objects with their minds, which was linked to their ability to fly without wings. Their final power was their ability to concentrate energy into weaponized spheres which they launched from their hands.
Most humans were trained in martial arts, and they were also trained to use various weapons. They crafted magically resistant armor, and they themselves were truly the most feared beings on the planet. But then, one day, they just disappeared. Pony slaves of humans served their masters one day, and then the next, they awoke fo find their oppressors gone. There is no information detailing why humans disappeared, and even to this day, it remains a-
"TWILIGHT!" Twilight Sparkle jerked in surprise and looked up to see her friend Rainbow Dash.
"Oh, sorry Rainbow. What is it?" asked Twilight.
"We're supposed to be searching for artifacts and stuff, but you're just sitting here reading."
"Rainbow, I happen to be reading a book about humans. I'm researching."
"Well, can you help us look?"
"I guess." Twilight put down her book, stood up, and followed Rainbow. She took a look around her. A week ago, Princess Celestia had been informed of an uncovered human temple. She, Princess Luna, and the element bearers rushed to the temple. Twilight took the opportunity to observe the temple. It was constructed from silver colored metal, with glowing veins and runes. Glowing crystals hung from the ceilings, illuminating the structure. There were many other ponies in the temple who worked in excavating. the ancient artifacts contained in the temple.
Just as Twilight and Rainbow rounded a corner, a pink pony dashed towards them.
"Hey Twilight, hey Dashie! Guess what, guess what, guess what!" said the excited Pinkie Pie.
"Uh, what is it?" asked Rainbow.
"The rest of us found something in this super huge room! Come on, follow me!" Pinkie grabbed Rainbow and Twilight with her hooves and dragged the two along with her. In a flash of pure speed, the three found themselves in front of a set of large metal doors. The doors each had an engraving of a human in full body armor, each one holding a sword and shield.
"Pinkie released her hold on the other two ponies, and proceeded to rapidly knock on the door. A few moments later, the doors glowed in a golden light, and opened to reveal none other than Princess Celestia.
"Ah, Pinkie, I see you brought Rainbow and Twilight with you. Come on in." The Princess stepped aside and allowed the three ponies to walk inside. Twilight and Rainbows eyes widened in awe when they saw the room they were in. They stood on an elevated plane. A small set of stairs led down to a large open floor. Filling the area was an army of statues. These statues were tall and bipedal, clad in menacing looking armor. The statues appeared to be made of dark marble.
Twilight, Rainbow and Celestia walked past the rows and rows of human statues, to find Luna, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy standing in front of the army. In front of them stood a raised pedestal. An octagonal object stood, and protruding from it was a large crystal, glowing with arcane energy. The ponies could all see a strange object inside the crystal.
The ponies were unable to see exactly what the object was, because the crystal distorted it.
"It's simply marvelous!" exclaimed Rarity.
"What is this thing?" asked Twilight.
"We aren't sure, but it's radiating ancient magical energy," answered Luna.
"I though humans couldn't use magic?" asked Fluttershy.
"They can't. That's what makes this so surprising," replied Celestia.
"You were reading that book on humans. What do you think Twilight?...Uh, Twilight?" Rainbow spoke, but Twilight couldn't hear her. All of her attention was focused on the crystal. Twilight gazed at the crystal. The whole world darkened, leaving the crystal as the only light in the world.
Twilight slowly but surely began walking towards the crystal, ignoring the protests of the others present.
Twilight could hear faint whispering in her ear. The voice sounded like a combination of many voices brought together as a single entity. It whispered in her ear; 'The chosen one will set us free!When Twilight reached the crystal, she reached out with her arm and pressed her hoof against the pedestal.
Twilight felt a rush of energy coursing through her arm, rushing into the crystal. The runes on the pedestal began to glow light blue. Twilight regained her awareness, and stepped back with the others.
"W-what happened?" The crystal began to vibrate, rumbling in place. Then it began to crack. And as it cracked, some sort of fluid leaked from the crystal. Then, the crystal shattered completely, exploding in a bright light. The ponies all dove for cover, and shut their eyes.
Before the first pony rose, the group heard the last noise they were expecting to hear in the ancient temple. They heard crying. The group stood up and looked to where the crystal once stood. Lying there, on the pedestal was a small sand colored creature. It was a small, and pudgy little creature, squirming like a worm.
Celestia stepped up and looked down at the creature.
"No...it...it can't be!" Twilight stepped up and looked down at the creature.
"But it is. It can't be anything else! It's...it's-" the entire group spoke at once.
"A baby human!"
You had my curiosity, but now you have my attention. Continue!
4790221 agreed.
well that is interesting. And Then?
Misanthropy Meter is going crazy!
Copypasta inbound:
Edit: I'll hold off my decision for now and see how this story goes.
4790503
The adorable dolphins, that will try and save a human from drowning if they see them, rapes what?
4790830
Their own females.
They literally rape for fun.
4790837
They act like little kids. Little kids do everything for fun. But that is just horrible. Even though some people also rape for their own enjoyment as well.
True, but we have also outlawed it, put stiif punishment for people who commit rape, and it's fairly uncommon.
But dolphins... dolphins are a whole 'nother level of dickery.
Source
Granted, they also do it to assert authority.
But what we consider rape and sexual harassment is fairly common in the animal kingdom.
4790851
But some people who go to court for it don't get punished, and the ruling is in their favour. Male or female, it sometimes goes to the wrong person.
Animals don't actually care, maybe that is why they do it?
ONLY HOPE THAT THE BABY HAS BEEN TREATED WELL
AND NOT AS AN EXPERIMENT
SOME THINK PURPLE UNICORN want TESTS TO MAKE A BABY
WELL AS SOME SCIENTISTS PONY
4790865
True, but remember that every Human has a basic inalienable right.
Presumption of innocence. Meaning that until it is proven in a court of law, the accused is not guilty of rape.
Well remember that rape for Humans can also be a power-trip. It seems to take this role more often in animals.
4790881
I honestly don't want to see an animal have sex.
That's right. Humans are bad! Ponies are good. They're bad, and they're bad, and they're bad!
What else are they? Evil! Ponies are perfect and have NEVER EVER done anything wrong EVER and humans are super evil and should be destroyed!!!`1111
End of story.
So humans are painted in the light of abusive precursors.
4791556
Yeah, yeah they do.
We're the nicest species because of our ability to empathize.
I don't think you understand just how cruel wild animals are.
4791563
It's a story, yes.
Doesn't mean I can't point out things.
They were capable of moving objects with their minds, which was linked to their ability to fly without wings. Their final power was their ability to concentrate energy into weaponized spheres which they launched from their hands.
"I though humans couldn't use magic?" asked Fluttershy.
"They can't. That's what makes this so surprising," replied Celestia.
Doesn't that completely contradict each other? While I don't really like stories that shit on humans I can at least feel comfortable in thinking that these are a different kind of human.
4791631 The humans have saiyan powers. It's not magic, its chi.
4791730 Alright, I guess. Though I still think you shit on the human race rather unfairly.
4790503 Don't forget that ducks a rapists too.
4791784 It's not my actual belief that humans are evil. I just made them evil in this alternate world. It's been done before, there are other stories depicting humans as evil, its not just me.
4791856 Not saying other authors haven't. It's my personal taste. I'm going to read this because I think it has promise.
4791943 well, thankyou
Awesome!
I can't tell...is the baby going to be raised by the ponies as their own, then randomly decide to suddenly revive the race by some deus ex machina-type means and take over the planet again. or is it going to be the same thing but instead the baby teaches everyone to be gay hippy fuckers?
4792075
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4791276
Let's give this hero a round of applause.
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRCa103AeHYgDfuB--3-ISfjSAqminpHnc_JcJQdAf1Oted2DQ4vw
( not even sure this is a gif)
4791276
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You are a sad waste of oxygen.
This a misanthropic piece of shit which I don't like, we are not savages, which I don't like the idea of in this story, we are way OP, which I'm a bit of both angered and smug about.
Interesting. Let's see where this is going.
Ooh, I'm liking this already! Keep up the good work.
Alright, we going down the misanthropy path? Just tell me right now, so I can hop off. I want to see where this goes, but not if we're going the obvious misanthropy route.
Because otherwise, carry on, good sir.
4792495
4792584
Could be a troll? Come to think of it, which is worse? A misanthrope? Or trolls, who are probably the source of a good chunk of misanthropy?
4792584
No, I'm not. I may have gone overboard, but this is probably the thousandth time I've seen a story like this. What's worse is telling me I'm a waste of oxygen. Thanks.
4791276
couchslobs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/are-you-fucking-serious.gif
I've no words . . .
4790503
visualphotos.com/photo/1x9118332/wheel_spider_carparachne_aureoflava_captured_by_a_parasitic_pompilid_wasp_sand_dunes_namib_dese_510557.jpg
This little monster has paralized the poor spider. Now she will dig a hole and put the spider in it with a little "present" before sealing the entrance. The defenceless spider will enjoy a few days of excruciating agony while the wasp´s larvae consumes her insides while awaiting for the unevitable end.
Talk now about cruelty.
-Twilight finds and reads a book on humans
-humans have strange and unexplained powers
-humans ate ponies
-humans mysteriously disappeared long ago and no one knows why
-Rainbow Dash complaints about Twilight reading too much
-Pinkie Pie calls Twilight to a room where they find the likeness of humans
-Fluttershy asks about the magical powers humans may or may not have
-Twilight hears the voices of a supposedly dead race
-humans are good at hand to hand combat
-humans are trained to use various types of weapons
-humans used runes
I don't know why, but this story seems very familiar to me.
I must just be imagining things, because no one would copy a story that obviously.
4793663
So many questions and no answers.
Just turn it into a run on sentence and I'll call you and tell you what time the nun orgy starts.
4791730
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100424153743/dragonball/images/thumb/a/a4/KrillinAndGohanVsGuldoNV.png/280px-KrillinAndGohanVsGuldoNV.png
'nuff said
4793663
Doesn't matter to me. I hate both almost equally.
4793749
Blah blah, don't care, and you're very welcome.
4794534
Cool, I don't care either.
I read this, and I've decided it deserves a downvote for the following reasons:
-the editing, while not horrible, is sub-par
-the pacing and characterization are wonky at best
-big-bundle-of-cheesy-Saturday-morning-cartoon-tropes-itis
-both disturbingly misanthropic as well as setting up the situation for a Mary Sue
-"superpowerful civilization randomly vanishes with no explanation despite being the most powerful beings on the planet." Sadly, it's probably due to meddling with magic or some other stupid excuse in a bid for more power
-the superpowerful species was human, usurping the rightful place of the terrestrial isopod master race. This has been noted and you will be executed following our rise to power! Cringe in fear, hominid; your days are numbered!
Good luck trying to make this work properly. :P
EDIT: Needs more spacefood.
Ah, humans. What we leave behind.
They also blew the moon out of orbit in the year 1999.
Oh wait...there is no collaborative evidence for that, must be in the apocrypha.
....we do know they threw fire balls, and could move objects with their mind because of all the photographic evidence ponies have,all the chard skeletons and massive buildings found!
4794593
Good.
4794617 I agree, this story needs a rewrite.
I found it amusing to search-and-replace "Human" with "Warlord".