“Sweetie Belle earned her cutie mark!”
Scootaloo jumped into the air and fluttered down on her tiny wings. “Can you believe it? It was so awesome! She was singing, and then everypony joined in, and then some were crying, and all the sudden there was a flash!”
Scootaloo bounced as her grin grew wider. “And then she couldn’t say anything because she was too busy screaming and laughing and crying all at the same time! And there was a big group hug and—”
“Whoa, whoa!” Rainbow Dash caught Scootaloo’s shoulders and held her steady. “That sounds awesome, Squirt, but you gotta take a breath before you turn blue!”
Scootaloo giggled. “Are you talking from experience?”
“Hah.” Rainbow ruffled Scootaloo’s mane. “So did she tell you how it felt?”
“Eh, she’s having trouble talking at all with that big smile on her face.” Scootaloo’s wings beat a mile a minute. “It’s only a matter of time before Apple Bloom and I earn ours, too!”
“You got that right.” Rainbow chucked the filly’s chin softly. “But I don’t know that I’d say she ‘earned’ her cutie mark.”
“Huh?” Scootaloo squinted one eye. “But she totally did. She did something awesome and ‘poof!’”
“Yeah, but cutie marks aren’t really about succeeding.” Rainbow Dash kicked her rear leg out and showed Scootaloo the thundercloud with the rainbow lightning bolt that was placed there. “Like, I got this after performing a sonic rainboom, but I had to practice for years and years before I could do it again.”
“But.. isn’t that a cutie mark for sonic rainbooms?” Scootaloo tilted her head. “Isn’t that who you are?”
“It’s… actually a lot of things.” Rainbow Dash jumped into the air and hovered, moving her legs around to tell the story. “It was a lot of things all coming together in that one moment. Defending Fluttershy, proving myself to those jerks, flying harder than ever. I just sorta…” Rainbow Dash shrugged. “I sorta decided what sort of mare I wanted to be.”
She picked Scootaloo up and set her on her back. “That’s what a cutie mark is, Scootaloo. It’s what happens when your heart overflows with magic, when it decides what it wants to do for the rest of your life. It’s not a trophy, it’s a promise to yourself.”
Scootaloo crossed her forelegs on top of Rainbow Dash’s head. “This is getting dangerously close to that sappy ‘finding yourself’ stuff.”
“Hey, them’s the breaks.” Rainbow Dash flew off the cloud they had been sitting on. “Take it from someone who’s not too into sappy ‘finding yourself’ stuff in the first place.”
Scootaloo sighed. She looked from her little wings to Rainbow Dash’s strong wings. “I already know who I want to be.”
“Yeah?” Rainbow Dash glanced back, even as she kept an eye forward. “Who’s that?”
“When I grow up, I wanna be as awesome as you.”
Rainbow Dash snorted. “Come on, Scootaloo. Don’t settle for that.”
“Settle?” Scootaloo jerked back. “You call that settling?”
“Oh yeah.” Rainbow Dash grinned. “Do yourself one better, Squirt. Be as awesome as you can be.”
A sunbeam smacked Scootaloo awake, metaphorically. She blinked as the warmth of the sunrise crossed over her eyes. She grimaced and looked to the side, where Apple Bloom lay. The earth pony was nearly completely covered with her blanket, with only the tip of her nose and forehooves uncovered. Scootaloo let out a low chuckle.
She lay still for a moment as the sun shone through the eastern window. Her body was in that strange “I slept on the floor” state where her muscles ached from lying on hardwood floors, but she knew it would hurt to get up. She extended her wings until they peeked out from beneath her covers. She angled them back and forth, and winced at the tiny pops the joints made.
There was a sound like glass clinking and a hissed “Horseapples!” behind her. Scootaloo sat up and looked over her shoulder. Sweetie Belle was rifling around in her saddlebags with a pronounced frown. Her mouth twisted in a gnarled grin as she pulled out a silver canister and set in on the table beside her glasses. She then produced a tiny measuring cup from the bag.
“What ya doing?” Scootaloo whispered.
Sweetie Belle jumped. She spun as she brought her glasses to her nose with a spark of her horn. “None of your business.”
Scootaloo pouted and crossed her forelegs. “Really?”
“Yes.” Sweetie Belle went back to the table. “Go back to sleep.”
“Not tired.” Scootaloo leaned to the side. “Are you okay?”
“I will be if you just leave me alone for a moment.” Sweetie unscrewed the cap from her canister with a twist of her hoof. “If I had known you were such an early riser, I would have woken up before dawn.”
“Can’t sleep when the sun’s in my face.” Scootaloo shrugged. “And Apple Bloom hasn’t replaced the curtains in here yet.”
Apple Bloom snored.
Sweetie Belle snorted. “Right.”
Scootaloo sucked on her bottom lip. “Why don’t you want me to know? Are you hurt?”
Sweetie poured a small amount of amber liquid into the measuring cup. It read “Two milliliters.” “It’s embarrassing.”
Apple Bloom’s snores grew in pitch.
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “I wonder how we got any sleep with her around.” She nudged Sweetie in the shoulder. “Look, I’m not gonna go gossip any secrets around town. We learned our lesson. But sometimes secrets are easier if you share them with somepony else.”
Sweetie screwed the cap back on. “A wise pony said, ‘Two can keep a secret if one is dead.’”
Scootaloo shrugged. “I guess I won’t bug you about it. You’d better not be hurting yourself.”
“I’m healing myself.”
Scootaloo sat back as Sweetie swished the golden liquid around.
“My fairy strings—those little organs that bring magic from my heart to my horn?—are damaged, or malformed, or something stupid like that.” Sweetie gulped the two milliliters and shivered as it flowed down her throat. “So I got prescribed this cruddy medicine so I could still use magic.”
Scootaloo sniffed the air. It smelled faintly of honey. “Ambrosia?”
“Yeah. Equestria harvested, breezie brewed.” Sweetie Belle grimaced. “Stupid stuff stings all the way down.”
Scootaloo kicked a hoof as she stared at the floor. “How’d you find out?”
Sweetie looked away and slapped her cutie mark of a bell.
Scootaloo winced. “Seriously? But we were there when you—”
“I tried to cook a celebration dinner for Rarity that night.” Sweetie shrugged. “My magic spirtzed out while I was carrying a pot of boiling pasta to drain in the sink.” Her lip twitched. “She just… scooped me up and carried me to the hospital to treat my burns.”
“That’s why you were there?” Scootaloo shook her head. “Then why’d you say it was nothing?”
“I lied.” Sweetie lidded her eyes. “It’s a surprisingly easy thing to do when you’re stressed.”
“You didn’t trust us?”
“I didn’t trust myself.” Sweetie tossed the measuring cup into the saddlebags. “I didn’t trust myself to not just blubber all over you guys.”
“Sweetie, I didn’t know, I… That’s awful.” Scootaloo took a hesitant step forward. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I told you. It’s embarrassing.” Sweetie Belle trotted over to the middle of the room and began folding up her blanket. “And ancient history. As long as I take this stuff once a week, I’ll be fine.”
As she stuffed her blanket into her bags, Sweetie’s ears perked up. “Say, do you think your issue with flying is because of your fairy strings? It could explain why your magic doesn’t get you off the ground.”
“Aha. You know why that ain’t right.” Scootaloo turned to the side to give Sweetie a view of her profile. “It would be kinda impossible with how I got this mark.”
Sweetie nodded. “It was worth a shot. Would have been an easy fix.”
“Come on,” Scootaloo said. “When has crusading ever been easy?”
Sweetie Belle swished her two-tone tail in response. “If it’s after the fact, I can pretend it was easy.”
Scootaloo scrunched her muzzle up. “I don’t ever wanna forget how hard something was.”
“Your loss.”
Scootaloo grabbed Apple Bloom’s shoulders and shook. “Rise and shine. Want some breakfast?”
Apple Bloom mumbled, “Nope,” and went back to snoring.
Scootaloo and Sweetie exchanged a glance. Scootaloo shook her again. “Come on, Bloom. Some of us are hungry.”
“Eat without me,” Apple Bloom grumbled. Her blanket slid over her nose, covering her completely. “It’s mah day off.”
Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. “Applejack and Big Mac let you have days off?”
“No.” The blanket lifted, revealing Apple Bloom’s eyes. Shadow covered them as she glared out. “Ah take them off, and those two can’t do nothin’ about it.”
Scootaloo and Sweetie exchanged another glance. “How’s that supposed to work out?” Scootaloo said.
“Rule on the farm is ‘don’t work, don’t eat.’” Apple Bloom sank beneath her covers. “So on Saturdays ah trade in breakfast and lunch for six more hours of sleep.”
After a moment of silence, the snoring started up again.
Sweetie smirked. “I guess we wake her when we go into town.”
Apple Bloom yawned as she followed Sweetie and Scootaloo into downtown Ponyville. “Y’all couldn’t give me two more hours?”
“No,” Sweetie Belle replied. “We have business to attend to. Not only of the more social variety, but also of the matter of getting Scootaloo airborne.”
“Yeah,” Scootaloo said. “Any ideas on where to start?”
“Physical examination,” Apple Bloom said. “We gotta see where yer at b’fore we can guess ways to improve.”
The city had grown in the nine years since the Tree of Harmony’s seed had become Princess Twilight’s palace. Royalty tended to draw attention, and attention drew ponies, and ponies drew business. The downtown shopping district was a mile long, and two blocks wide. Stalls and permanent storefronts faced the street, with smiling ponies (and other creatures) waiting on customers.
Some things didn’t change quite as much, though. Carousel Boutique still sat near the edge of Mane Street, its purple colors and ruffled walls drawing the eye. The picture of a silver bell sat over the doorframe where three gems had once been displayed. The gems were set apart for use in Rarity’s branch of Carousel Boutique in Canterlot, while Coco Pommel’s branch in Manehatten held the picture of a hat with a red feather.
Some ways down the street, the regrown and refurbished Golden Oaks Library was shining in the sun, the leaves in its boughs catching the light. Spike could be seen exiting the front door, a large bag on his back. His long tail whipped from side to side as he walked. When he stood up on his rear legs, his head spikes were just tall enough to bump Big Mac’s chin. As it was, he did most of his travelling on all fours these days, since it gave him better balance on his hefty frame.
Sweetie Belle waved a hoof. “Good morning, Spike!”
Spike turned. He rose on his rear legs and waved back. “Hi, Sweetie Belle! Hi, Scootaloo! Hay, Apple Bloom. What’re you guys doing around town?”
“What else would bring us tah town on a perfect Saturday?” Apple Bloom said with a wink. “We’re headed to Sugarcube Corner. Wanna join us?”
“I’d love to, but duty calls.” Spike pointed at the bag on his back. “Mister Frypan hired me and Rumble to paint his house today.”
Scootaloo snickered into her hoof. “You guys still paying your debt to society?”
“It’s almost all paid up, actually,” Spike said.
“It’s only taken a year!” a voice said from somewhere up above.
Scootaloo looked up and grinned as a gray-coated pegasus stallion descended. “I haven’t heard any news about restaurants burning down lately,” she said. “You’re slipping.”
Rumble touched down and folded his wings. He brought his strong foreleg up to his chest to brush his coat. “I’ll have you know that I didn’t burn down the Silver Spoon Restaurant. Spike did.”
“It was only the hedges.” Spike pointed a claw. “And only because you panicked and bumped into me.”
“I didn’t panic. I made a strategic retreat and you got in my way.”
“Whatever.” Spike shook his head and looked at Apple Bloom. “Maybe the five of us can hang out later. It should only take the two of us a few hours to paint the house.”
“You sure?” Scootaloo said. “I know painting a house is a pain in the cutie mark. Especially outside.”
“We’ve got a nice system down,” Rumble said. “I paint the walls with a roller, and Spike follows behind me with a detail brush.”
“And I still manage to get done before you.” Spike dropped down to all fours. “See you girls later.”
Apple Bloom waved. “Hay, if you do get done early, look for us in the park. Scootaloo’s decided to finally learn to fly.”
Rumble looked back, his eyebrows low. “Huh? I thought you’d been working on that for forever.”
Scootaloo folded her wings across her back and looked to the left. “This time, I’m actually gonna do it.”
Rumble stared for a moment. He nodded slowly. “Okay. Good luck, Scoots.”
“Thanks!” she said. She jerked her head towards the next street over. “Come on. Ice cream awaits.”
“Ice cream and somethin’ else,” Apple Bloom chuckled.
Scootaloo looked at her sideways. “What?”
“Ah yes, your adoring public.” Sweetie Belle grinned ruefully. “I’ll find us a seat while you entertain the teeming masses.”
Scootaloo snorted. “The Cakes only have, like, four kids.”
“I swear they multiply every time I go there,” Sweetie said.
“Cool your jets,” Scootaloo said as she pushed the door open. “I got this.”
The Cakes had added on to the gingerbread house lookalike they called Sugarcube Corner. New rooms had been put in to give Pinkie Pie a little privacy, while allowing the older two kids to have Pinkie’s old room. Originally, the baby room remained in constant use, but lately it seemed that the Cakes let them sleep where they fell.
“Sugarplum, the baby’s eating the frosting again.”
“Honeybunches, Pound needs help with his homework.”
“Sweetums, Pumpkin needs her mane done up again.”
“Jellybear, don’t let Patty run outside.”
Cup and Carrot Cake bustled about as their children all but stampeded around the bakery. Cup carried a load of orders up to the counter on her back while she balanced her baby in her right foreleg. Carrot iced cupcakes as he helped Pound understand the concept of square roots (before long, his cupcakes started to look like complex math equations). Patty Cake, the toddler, trundled her way through the restaurant. Her jaw dropped when the three mares entered the door.
“Scootaloo’s here!”
Pumpkin settled for having half of her mane tied back as she bounded through the shop towards Scootaloo. Pound left math to the deeps as he fluttered his way over the counter. Patty rushed up to Scootaloo and wrapped her foreleg in a tight embrace. All three had wide grins on their faces.
“Can I ride your scooter?” Patty Cake asked.
“Sorry, Patty,” Scootaloo said. “I left it back at the farm for now.”
“Aw…”
Sweetie Belle tsked. “She didn’t even say ‘hello’ first this time.” She sauntered past the onslaught of foals. “I’ll be over by the window.”
Apple Bloom rubbed Pumpkin’s head. “Hay, kids. How’s the bakin’ comin’ along?”
“Pretty good,” Pumpkin said. “At least Pound can finally cook a pop tart without burning it now.”
Pound stuck his tongue out at his twin sister before jumping towards Scootaloo. “I’ve been doing like you said, Scootaloo. Twenty wing-ups a day, and my wings are getting a lot stronger. I can almost fly to the roof now!”
“You’d better not do that without adult supervision!” came his father’s voice from the kitchen.
“Well…” Pound grinned sheepishly and covered his mouth with a wing. “Maybe once.”
“Hay, remember the buddy system, alright?” Scootaloo chucked his shoulder. “You don’t have to do things on your own.”
Pound’s cream-colored cheeks blushed bright red. “Y-yeah. I think you’re right.”
“Besides, isn’t there that cute little pegasus filly just down the street?” Scootaloo smirked. “Lackadaisy, right? I’m sure she’d like to fly with you.”
“Well… well… You know…” Pound’s voice came out at a low murmur.
Scootaloo felt a tug on her wingtip. Patty Cake released an orange feather from her mouth and spoke. “Can you go to the farm and get your scooter?”
“Sorry, kid. It’d take an hour to get back here.”
“But can you try?”
Cup Cake chose that moment to walk by, her little baby settled quietly on her back. “That’s enough of that, young lady. What have I told you about begging?”
Patty Cake kicked a hoof. “Only dogs do it, and nopony likes it when they do it either.”
She turned back to Scootaloo. “But can I see your scooter?”
“Go on, shoo!” Cup gave her daughter a pat on the rump and sent her scuttling away. The baker shook her head and chuckled. “Scoots, I think you have the patience of a glacier.”
Apple Bloom laughed. “Patience? Scootaloo? Naw, not really. More like she’s built up a tolerance for some things. Sorta like a vaccination”
Pumpkin Cake gave Scootaloo a quick hug and ran back to her barrettes. Scootaloo gave Apple Bloom a sideways glance. “I think I have a low tolerance for snarky farmers.”
Pound Cake giggled. Cup wrapped her foreleg around his shoulders. “How about you help me and dad out and take these lovely mares’ orders, hon?”
“S-sure!” Pound galloped back to the kitchen to grab a pencil and some paper.
Cup Cake opened her mouth to say something, but a stray bit of pink outside the window caught her eye. She froze in silent horror. “Oh, Sweet Monkey Bread, it’s her.”
She glanced to the left and right. Not finding whatever she was looking for, she turned to Scootaloo. “Would you mind watching Rice for me? Just while I fill out a really tough order.”
Scootaloo took Rice Cake and held him against her chest. “Sure. Good luck. Mind if I ask—?”
Cup Cake was already marching back to the counter. “Sweetcheeks, Scylla is on her way!”
Carrot poked his head out of the kitchen. “Scylla? Now?”
Apple Bloom sat down beside Sweetie Belle and propped her head on a hoof. “‘Scylla’? The hay do they mean by that?”
“I expect we’ll find out.” Sweetie shifted in her chair to face Scootaloo. “Dear, the baby’s getting drool all over your coat.”
Scootaloo ignored her. She tickled the baby’s hoof pad and laughed. “I’ve got your foot! I’ve got your foot!”
Rice Cake laughed until he got hiccups. Scootaloo rubbed his back. “Hay, take it easy. That’s okay.”
Scootaloo set Rice on the table. “Say hello to Apple Bloom, Rice!”
Apple Bloom grinned and leaned forward until her muzzle touched the baby’s. Rice wrapped his forelegs around her nose. “Hay, leggo you!”
Scootaloo turned Rice towards Sweetie Belle. “Say hello to Sweetie Belle!”
Sweetie rolled her eyes. She gave the baby a shallow smile before giving Scootaloo a pointed look.
“You’re no fun.” Scootaloo brought Rice back down to her lap. “He’s a baby. They’re cute. Embrace the cuteness!”
“He’s absolutely adorable.” Sweetie Belle opened the menu leaflet on their table. She pushed her glasses up her nose and read. “Nopony’s saying he’s not.”
The bell above the door rang with a merry little jingle. A dark pallor fell over the bakery as an earth pony mare walked in, her head carrying a sparkling diamond-studded crown. Her blue eyes flashed as she observed the patrons of Sugarcube Corner like a predator. A small smirk tugged at her mouth when she saw the three mares sitting by the window. She trotted up to the counter and stood over Cup Cake.
Cup held up a notepad. “May I help you, Miss Tiara?”
“The last order was disappointing,” Diamond Tiara said. “You’re lucky you’re the only bakery within a twenty-mile radius. Quite the impressive monopoly, I gotta say.”
Cup Cake nodded slowly. “May I ask for specific problems you had, ma’am?”
Diamond Tiara sneered. “The pastry was too dry, the frosting was too sweet, and you misspelled ‘corporation’ on the cake.”
“That last one’s not true at all,” Apple Bloom whispered. “Ah was at the banquet, ‘cuz of the Apple family partnership. Diamond just thinks there’s an ‘E’ in ‘corporation.’”
Diamond Tiara’s ear twitched in Apple Bloom’s direction. “I already have the specifics here,” she said, sliding a piece of paper over to Cup. “I expect you’ll be able to have the food done by Friday?”
Cup Cake picked up the order and read over it. “Um. Yes, I think we will.”
“Good.” Diamond Tiara walked away. “I’ll be by Friday to pick it up. Put it on my tab for now.”
“I hate tabs,” Cup Cake muttered under her breath.
Diamond walked up to the three mares and leaned a foreleg on the table. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t the crusaders without a cause.”
“We didn’t come here to fight, Diamond,” Sweetie Belle said. She didn’t look up from the menu. “We came to eat ice cream in peace. Go away.”
Diamond Tiara scoffed. “Who said anything about fighting? You act like I’m out to get you.”
“Oh gee,” Apple Bloom said. “Why would we ever imagine that?”
“I’ve only ever tried to be a friend.” Diamond pouted. “I even invited you to my cuteceanera.”
“So you could make fun of us,” Apple Bloom said.
“Details.” Diamond Tiara held out a highly-polished hoof and examined it in the sunlight. “You don’t know what you’re missing.”
“Oh, please, Diamond,” Scootaloo said with gritted teeth. “Please let me kiss your cutie mark and shine your hooves. Please.”
Rice Cake squeezed his eyes shut and began to whimper. Diamond Tiara looked at the baby in Scootaloo’s hooves, and then grinned like a shark. “Oh, is it yours? Very admirable, deciding to keep it.”
“Hay. Back off.”
Diamond Tiara looked down her nose at Pound Cake as he trotted up to the table, a notepad clutched under his wing. He shuffled his hooves and looked at the floor. “You should probably go,” he said.
Diamond Tiara examined the colt. She bent down to look him in the eye, her lips twisted in an inaudible growl. “You just cost your parents a job, you little snot.”
She trotted out of the bakery.
Scootaloo looked out the window. She saw Diamond Tiara march across the street, kick over a barrel of oranges, and run towards whatever doorway she planned to darken next. “Some things won’t change.”
Pound gazed at the door, his eyes tearing up. His lips trembled as he looked away from the mares at the table. He sniffled as he started to run. Carrot Cake met him on the way to the kitchen and caught him in a hug.
“Hay,” Carrot said. “You did the right thing, buddy. I’m proud of you.”
Pound sniffed and buried his head in his dad’s chest.
“Yeah,” Scootaloo said. “You sure showed her! Now she knows she can’t just walk all over you guys.”
Pound peered past his brown mane, his face flushed. He nodded, and then ran back into the kitchen.
Scootaloo sat back with a sigh, rocking Rice back and forth. Cup Cake joined her husband by their table and took the baby back.
“Your order is on the house, ladies,” she said. “We’re sorry you had to deal with that.”
“I’ll hear none of that, Mrs. Cake,” Sweetie Belle said. “Without Diamond’s two-fold patronizing, it’s going to be hard enough without giving away your food. I’m picking up the bill.”
“I can handle my own bill, Sweetie.” Scootaloo bumped a hoof on the table. “I’m employed now, remember?”
Sweetie Belle crossed her forelegs. “As is Apple Bloom, but she’s not complaining.”
Apple Bloom shrugged. “‘Never turn down free stuff,’ Granny always said.”
The three looked at each other for a moment. Cup Cake coughed.
“Fine,” Scootaloo said. “I’ll take the mint chip, hot fudge sundae.”
“Turtle sundae, please,” Sweetie said.
“Black cherry, single scoop.” Apple Bloom smiled at Sweetie. “Thanks for the treat.”
Five minutes later, they all had very generous portions set before them. Scootaloo clutched a spoon between her feathers. “You guys think Diamond is ever happy?”
“Probably.” Apple Bloom took a large bite out of her cone. “Ah think ah saw her meltin’ ants with a magnifyin’ glass the other day.”
Sweetie Belle gently scooped a bit of caramel into her mouth. “It’s unladylike to make light of another person’s foibles.”
“It’s unladylike to terrorize everypony you meet,” Apple Bloom said. “Ah’m pretty sure she has it comin’.”
“It’s unladylike to gossip.” Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. “Right?”
Apple Bloom rolled her shoulders. “Not that ah’m sayin’ ah’m tryin’ to be a lady, as opposed to just yer normal run-of-the-mill female.”
“Oh yeah, that’s right.” Scootaloo licked ice cream off the edge of her snout. “You can keep your fancy parties and funny dresses, Sweetie Belle. Apple Bloom and I are gonna have some fun.”
Sweetie leaned on a hoof. “Is this the part where I squeal and remark about how scandalous you two are?”
“Eeyup,” Apple Bloom said.
“Sorry to disappoint, but the past few years I’ve been building up an immunity towards your antics.” She turned to the window with a grin. “I won’t even do a double take if you start rolling around in a mud puddle.”
“Then ah’ll save it for a special occasion.” Apple Bloom polished off her cone, stood up, and clapped a hoof on Scootaloo’s shoulder. “Y’all ready to go?”
“Yeah.” Scootaloo fluttered her wings. “Let’s head to that park!”
Lets see if Scoots falls on her face. Maybe she should see Bulk Biceps and do some bodybuilding first.
Also, nice look at the near future town. DT is a miserable pile.
4775817
Our lean, mean, non-flying machine probably already has the most muscle she can fit onto her thin frame. Though she won't hit her prime for a year or two, so maybe you're on to something.
It's an unfortunate truth. She's spent years refining her own special art form.
4776010
Look at his wings! Look at them! He must know something. He got into the Wonderbolt reserves.
Hmm... I wonder what a bulked up Scootaloo would look like.
I don't know. Everybody seems a little cranky for my tastes
4776112
I'm getting visions of a purple and orange Bulk Biceps with long eyelashes...
4776589
Yes, I'd have to agree with you. Mostly because it's intentional. Apple Bloom and Sweetie (especially Sweetie) are dealing with things they've kept deep down for a long time, and it's sort of poisoned them. It'll be a big part of their development as characters. Scootaloo is slightly less cranky, but that's because she's holding on to hope.
And Applejack is dealing with being mayor, I'd hope she gets a free pass for that.
I guess you can quit now, or hope that when I dig into these characters, it'll make them a little more palatable. It's your choice.
4776652
Estee's working on a fic with that very plot right now
I may come back to it. I didn't really remember you'd done Lord Mayor Applejack. I enjoyed most of that fic, but while I enjoy your humorous and heartwarming stuff I'm not a big fan your sense of drama. Your Equestria's just a little off from my version of it.
I'd probably enjoy it more if I could read it in one go so I think I'll wait till it's done.
4776961
I understand. I've run into the same thing with other people's Equestria's, and I can't fault you for disliking it.
Though now you've got me wanting to examine my sense of drama and just what makes it odd. I don't have much practice with writing heavier stuff, so a lot of it might be my inexperience.
Well, if you ever find it again, I hope it impresses. Or at least doesn't leave a bad taste in your mouth.
4776589
Life makes people cranky. Can't stay kids forever.
4777046
I just marked it for the read later page. I'll start when it says complete.
As for the drama, my Equestria is just sturdier than yours. For example with the finale of Lord Mayor Applejack and the problems of humans in Equestria, in my headcanon the only way humans would cause a war there would be if we started one.
And that applies with ponies attitudes to, so it takes a hell of a lot for me to buy a massive longterm personality change. They may get messed up emotionally but they shake it off.
4777047
The Mane 6 aren't kids either. They're rarely cranky
4777223
They're probably cranky between episodes
4777223 I'd say Apple Bloom is acting a bit snarky and Sweetie Bell is acting a bit snippy... Just like their older sisters act together.
I like the world building, including what seems like realistic extrapolation of kid's personalities as they become adults. I think about AJ, RD and Rarity hanging out without their less argumentative friends to balance them, this seems like how they would interact.
This includes Diamond Tiara acting like she hasn't aged a day, but that's unfortunately how it goes sometimes with how some people mature (or don't.) I hope we find out what her deal is eventually...
Sweetie has a permanent prescription for taking Ambrosia once a week? Sounds expensive given the import requirements.
4777223
Ah, cool. See you then! Hope it's to your tastes.
I guess this comes from my own personal experiences, then. I've found that people can be very fragile. One mistake, one accident, can send someone into a lifetime of bitterness or depression. It's not quite that bad with the cast of this story, though.
The thing is, they're fragile, but they can be put back together if broken. Some are stronger than others, and when they've been put back together they can be that much stronger, but at the base level...
When I write stories about people, I have to use my personal experiences. It might feel a little cynical for Equestria, but there's always a bright light at the end of the tunnel. The characters just have to stumble around in the dark for a while before they can find it.
4777254
I think they've all had their moments over the course of the series, such as Rarity's little stint in Manehattan. From my perspective, that had to be something that'd been boiling under Rarity's skin for a long time, looking for an outlet. While it appeared that everything was nice and tidy when the end credits rolled, the fact remains that she still struggles with her own greed and pride. That can lead to her acting up, if she doesn't keep herself in check.
4778409
I think they're pretty close, with their own little quirks. I'm looking forward to seeing RD and AJ interact in the here and now, just to see how they've changed since the "old" times. It could be a fun compare and contrast!
I love digging into the "why" of nasty characters. She won't be excused, but she should be explained.
4779064
Two-hundred bits a month. She's pretty successful, so it's not like she can't afford it. But it still stinks.
4780631 I like Fairy Strings, especially since they're not just for unicorns. Do Earth Ponies have them, or do they not need them, since the magic just dissipates throughout their bodies?
4780696
It's dangerous to say too much about them, since it'd end up being spoilerific for a future story. I will say that they're analogous to the nervous system. They go all throughout the body, with clusters that collect wherever the particular tribe has their magic outlet. Earth Ponies have the largest clusters in their legs, unicorns in their heads, and pegasi in their wings. As mentioned in the chapter, magic is produced in the heart, which is the center of the fairy string network.
Some other species, such as griffons and changelings, also have fairy string networks, though their magic manifests differently. Zebras, minotaurs, and donkeys make due with other forms of magic. Nopony quite knows what dragons have.
4780741 I guess we figured out why Megan couldn't handle a potion then, no Fairy Strings to properly transport the magic internally.
4780868
Not necessarily, since potions work just fine for the zebras that make them. Humans are just one of those rare species that can't handle magic.
4780631
Ah, it's different for me. I don't think I've ever actually known a person who's personality has changed based on something happening to them. Which isn't always a good thing, but it's led to me finding people more rigid.
I did say rarely. But those kind of episodes are why a long term bad attitude just doesn't feel natural to me.
4781912
I see attitudes and personalities as being separate things. Personality can change with a very significant event, and even then it'll take quite a bit of time. However, I look at the Crusaders having less of a personality change than an attitude change. Their outlook has changed more than how they live.
It all depends on the person, their outlook, and the choices they make. I'd say that the Mane Six have had better luck with all of those, principally because they're willing to open up easier, and if not, they have a bunch of friends who'll just be there (Dodge Junction, for starters). Although, our favorite ponies seem like fairly well-adjusted individuals all around, I'll give you that.
Maybe I just have a fixation on dysfunctional individuals?
Well, looks like somepony never grew up! Why does Discord never hit the bad ponies with his mental whammy and make them see how despicable they are??????
I love the Crusaders interacting, they may have grown up and apart a bit, but their bonds are still strong and I almost feel sorry for anypony who messes with them!
4788652
Probably because Fluttershy and/or Celestia would raise a stink about it.
Anyone and anything! They're tons of fun to get together. I'm having a blast writing them.
4791243 Really? They'd complain because a pony was learning the magic of friendship and kindness??? Especially if they were changed back to normal and screamed, "OH SWEET CELESTIA, I AM SUCH A MORON!" and turned their life around???
4791599
They'd prefer not to encourage any behavior with the potential to toss a pony's mind like a Caesar salad. Free will is something you don't want to publicly scramble, you see. It's unseemly and rude.
4791655 What if she says, "Do your worst!" to Discord? She's basically asking him to hit her with the mind mixer upper!
4791757
In that case, the court would probably rule in Discord's favor. There is such a thing as self-defense, after all.
4791798 *Pulls out big book of rules* I refer the court to the section entitled Murphy's Law. (And admit it, you can see Discord doing that, can't you???)
4791812
Oh yes. He's had practice being a lawyer under my pen, after all.
Besides Murphy's Law, there's Discord's Addendum: Anything that can go wrong, should go wrong.
4791845 And you just know that he'd do Phoneix Wright style objections, declarations, and actions complete with the giant text bubbles. And when they asked for order in the court, he can either order some food or say, "Sorry, God of Chaos, can't do Order!"
Diamond Tiara isn't just a bitch - she's an idiot and a tantrum-prone brat too. I figure five years, tops, before Filthy Rich has to fire her to save Barnyard Bargains from ruin.
4793244
"I'm sorry, did you say Redro? What is Redro? Is it like chaos, because chaos I can do!"
Now for this chapter. First of all, nice continuation of the Fairy Strings, it stands alone in this story yet fits with the others, like you said you wanted. It does put a different spin on Sweetie's uses of magic Season 4 and onward. However, I think I found an mistake:
But didn't she get her mark in a different way entirely as revealed later in the story? I fail to see how they are inconsistent.
Speaking of callbacks, thanks to Spike and Rumble we know how long approximately it has been since those earlier stories. Even if we haven't read those stories, it functions as a nice entertaining Noodle Incident.
It's nice to see the Cake family, especially since they seem to have expanded. You even stuck to their naming convention, and gave them all unique quirks such as Patty's admiration for the scooter or Pound's crush (that is a crush, right?) on Scootaloo or that trick Pumpkin does later in the story that I won't spoil here.
Finally, D. Tiara, apparently unchanged. It was a fairly nice introduction (nice as in well written, not her behavior ) that pays off later, so well done.
6387416
Thanks! I'm looking forward to hearing what you think.
I was pretty subtle about that. Big Spike noticed the wings, but he assumed they were dyed, instead of natural.
Hopefully it wasn't too big an issue. I look at spoilers a little differently than most people. I've got the opinion that you can't actually spoil a good story, since if it's told well, you can find other ways to enjoy it besides the mystery aspect. It's why we rewatch movies and shows we like, or reread books... or read a series out of order.
I'd argue that you'd be caught up by the end of the first chapter, and you'd at least guess something was up once Scootaloo examined her cutie mark. I won't argue that it's the most amazing opening ever, though, and could use a little more tightening up. They say start your book with an explosion, so maybe I should open with the cutie mark thing...
Eh, fandom trends, whattayah gonna do about it, amiright? All I can say is that abuse is not something I have interest writing about, unless it's the sort of abuse evil overlords give to their underlings. I just cant see Roseluck holding out a hoof and saying "Scootaloo, you have failed me for the last time!"
Precisely. This is the genesis of her character development in this story. She had a bad experience and let that turn her away from the path she dreamed of following, and now finds herself doing something she isn't quite meant to do. She can do it well enough to make a living, but there's a certain something missing that keeps it from being truly fulfilling.
I'm especially proud of the little magic system i've grown off of what we see in the show. It lends a little bit of a science fantasy feel to the world.
Eeeh... My intention was that she meant the events that lead up to her getting a cutie mark. You know, everything that happened was all linked off of her discovering her magic ability. The sentence could be streamlined t remove all confusion, but when I wrote it I was worried that it would lack punch. I think there's a few places this story needs touching up, should I ever get around to it.
It's a young crush, but it's an undeniable one. Probably just a little more innocent that Spike's for Rarity, and that's saying something. It's that classic tale of a young boy and the babysitter he goes head over heels for. It's a little uncomfortable when you're the one being crushed on.
The Cakes are my favorite periphery characters, and it was my absolute pleasure to speculate how their family might turn out. Patty's every exuberant four year old I've ever known.
When I saw her do that in her introductory episode, I just had to make it a thing she did later in life. My headcanon says it's her special talent.
Tiara was a challenge, but a good challenge. You can't help but go a little over the top writing her, but development requires some grounding... I'm mostly happy with how she came out once the story's curtain dropped.
Thank you for the compliments and thoughts!
Since season 5 many points of this story are no longer correct.
Which is normal for stories that take place after seasons that haven't been broadcast yet.
6806389 That's not a bad thing, though. Conceptually, all fabric is AU; just with different branching points.
Oh My God Diamond why you gotta be such a bitch?