Chapter 21
The following day started out bad, and not because it was the day of the funeral.
Somehow, as we slept, Ember ended up sleeping on my wing. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but something about the specific place she was pressing on cut off the blood supply, so I woke up with about half of my wing feeling numb. Of course, not being able to feel it made it impossible to properly coordinate, so as I rose, I slapped Twilight upside the head. This made the alicorn shoot out of bed in surprise, but seeing as how she had cuddled Fluttershy in her sleep, the pegasus was an unwilling passenger aboard an alicorn rocket. The only one of us who wasn’t awakened particularly rudely was Rarity, but since she had a mild hangover, she wasn’t exactly happy either.
Rarity, the wonderful mare that she is, had prepared a suitable funeral garb for all of us to wear, but had forgotten to pick it up from her boutique on the way back home after the previous night’s date. Twilight luckily remedied this with a portal connected to Rarity’s main studio, but neglected to remind the fashionista that those with any sort of nausea probably shouldn’t use a portal. Because of that lack of information, the fashion mare ended up voiding her stomach on the other side of the portal, leaving her a groaning mess.
Needless to say, it took longer than we were comfortable with to get cleaned up, get dressed, and get to the town graveyard.
We did, however, make it to the cemetery with 30 minutes to spare, which gave us plenty of time to greet the others that had showed up, find our seats, and settle in. Without coffee, those of us who drank it were a bit more cranky than usual, so Twilight and I made it a point to keep our mouths shut and attitudes in check. I’ll admit I was jealous of the fact that Rarity, still being hungover and vomiting on herself only an hour earlier, still looked as immaculate as always.
As time passed, the seats began to fill in with more and more ponies; most were Ponyvillians, but I noticed some that must have been from the volunteer work the deceased ponies had taken part in. All I know is that the cemetery was quickly becoming filled with ponies from all walks of life, from all over the country, that respected Scootaloo’s parents, and they had all come to pay their respects.
Contrary to her normal arrivals, Rainbow Dash didn’t drop out of the sky and land with a heavy thud on the ground. Instead, the rainbow-maned pegasus walked calmly through the front gate hand in hand with Scootaloo herself, with Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Gabby following behind them. The mare of the hour looked to be a shadow of the spunky, energetic young pony we all knew, but that was to be expected. Rarity had apparently been busy, as both Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash were wearing black suits similar to mine (regardless of the situation, I knew there was no way Scootaloo would wear a dress), and I have to admit, the look somehow worked for them both. If nothing else, it gave me something else to momentarily focus on rather than the dead, haunted eyes of Scootaloo, which were usually so vibrant and lively.
Because of the decent state of the bodies -- as well as how the cold had preserved them -- an open wake had been chosen so that those that needed to say goodbye could get a little more closure by seeing the faces of Snap Shutter and Mane Allgood one last time. As the rest slowly took their seats, Rainbow alone led Scootaloo toward the two black caskets, and if the halting steps were any indication, Scootaloo was clearly having trouble keeping it together. The truth is, there was nothing about this that was going to be easy for Scootaloo. No matter how long or short we waited, it would never be a good time, and it would never be something Scootaloo was ready for. Going off of what I had learned from Applejack and even Luna, I did know that the sooner this was done with, the sooner Scootaloo could begin to heal; there was no denying that nothing was going to blunt the pain, so all we could hope for was a streamlined track to recovery.
Finally, after a painful few minutes, Scootaloo finally stood in front of the two caskets, and was able to see the faces of her parents. For what seemed like an eternity, she just stared at the two bodies, her face a blank canvas, her body unmoving. Even now, I can’t imagine what must have been going through her mind; she had so many memories of the two ponies, from the point of where she could even have memories, all the way to only a few weeks ago. Years of happy memories, laughter, love, and lessons were all put to an end with just two cold bodies in caskets, and the frozen half-grimaces that the faces seemed to have. The young mare stepped away from Rainbow Dash, creeping to the coffin that held her mother. She stared down at the placid face of the mare that birthed and loved her, and broke down into deep sobs of agony.
Rainbow Dash just stood back, letting Scootaloo grieve on her own.
After about 10 minutes (during which I had to choke down my own tears), Scootaloo finally sniffled and wiped her eyes before leaning down and pressing a light kiss to the cheek of her mother. She gently caressed the area before turning to the second casket, and practically falling on top of it as her sobs began anew. We all knew that while she loved both of her parents, Scootaloo had been much closer with her father than her mother, so his loss was going to leave a deep wound in her heart that might take years to heal. It pained me to see the normally tough pony so broken, but there wasn’t much I was going to be able to do to help. Besides, this was exactly what should be happening at a funeral, and she needed it to be able to start moving on.
It took a good deal longer for Scootaloo to compose herself the second time, at which point she backed up into the reassuring embrace of Rainbow Dash, allowing the larger pegasus to hug her tightly as tears still flowed freely from her eyes. The two took their seats at the front of the seating area, closest to the wake, and we waited for the celebrant to take his place and begin the eulogy.
The speaker was an older mare that I didn’t recognize, and other than her platinum-blonde mane, she didn’t have any particularly distinguishing features. Her voice, however, was what I could only define as “stern schoolmarm” -- it was the type of voice that demanded obedience whenever she spoke, and the entire gathering quieted down as she began to do so.
“Hello friends, family, and loved ones,” she began, opening a small book in front of her as she looked out over all of us. “We are gathered here today to lay to rest Snap Shutter and Mane Allgood, who were tragically taken before their time. Their field research did wonders to advance our understanding of the outside world,” she then leveled a sympathetic look to Scootaloo, who was still crying rivers of tears in the audience, “but for those of us who knew them personally, they were brave, good ponies who will be sorely missed, and whose place none can ever fill. As we bid them farewell, we must keep the memory of them in our hearts, so that in a way, they will never truly be gone. They have touched the hearts of many through their heroic efforts in disaster relief and volunteer work, and I have no doubt their loss will be felt by far more than those gathered here today.” She once again glanced to Scootaloo, and gave a nod when the young mare met her eyes. “With their passing, they leave behind their only child, Scootaloo, who would like to say a few words.”
And suddenly, every eye was on Scootaloo as she rose from her seat, wiped her eyes, and made her way to the podium alone.
Her steps were slow and could definitely be called trudging, though I doubted anyone in attendance blamed her. While she appeared calm and collected, there were little details that gave her away to anyone that knew her: the puffy, discolored fur underneath her eyes that spoke of days of weeping, the just slightly unkempt mane that showed she didn’t particularly care about her appearance, her mane was also slightly thinned along her left ear, the latter of which showed she had quite possibly pulled her own hair out in grief. All of these subtle signs spoke of a truly broken pony, one who clearly didn’t want to be here, yet was trusting Rainbow Dash when she was told this would help her.
Finally stepping up to the podium, Scootaloo took a folded piece of paper out of the pocket in her slacks, placing it down on the podium in front of her. She allowed herself a deep breath before looking out over the gathered crowd, solemn and broken. “To everyone here today that knew my parents personally, I want to thank you for coming -- for the rest of you, I know they’d appreciate knowing their lives touched so many, even if they never met you.” I was impressed that her voice was surprisingly clear and steady, and subtly glanced at Rainbow Dash, silently thanking her for being there for the young mare.
Scootaloo glanced down at the speech she had prepared, and began reading. “My...my mom and dad weren’t what most of us might consider ‘normal ponies’. While the average pony is born, gets their cutie mark, grows up, finds love, and then settles down and builds a life and a family, that wasn’t the path my m-mom and dad took.” She cleared her throat hard and sniffled once before continuing. “They always wanted to see the world, discover new animals and new places, and help ponies and other creatures in need. Obviously, a lot of creatures also received equestitarian aid, and I can see some of you here.” I glanced around and saw several different ponies nodding, as well a few gryphons and even a changeling or two in the back.
Scootaloo’s eyes focused on the sheet of paper on the podium for a few moments. After a few silent seconds, she crumpled up the speech and stuffed it in her jacket pocket, leveling the gathered creatures with a far less composed expression. “But...th-that’s not what I’ll remember the most about them. All of you probably already know all that stuff, so I’m just wasting time repeating it. Instead…” she sniffled hard as her bottom lip started to tremble, “I-I’ll remember the way m-my dad would run his fingers through my mane and call me ‘his plucky little ankle-biter’. I’ll remember w-when my mom would sing to me when I was sad or upset, and would brush my mane until I felt better. I’ll remember the way my dad smiled at me when he was proud of me, and I-I…” Scootaloo trailed off as she struggled to keep from sobbing, and it broke my heart to not be able to go up and comfort her. After a few moments, Scootaloo finished with, “I-I’ll remember h-how they were the best mom and d-dad I could ever ask for, and I’m the m-mare I am today b-because of how much they loved me.”
With that, Scootaloo fully broke down in tears as she turned to the two caskets and practically collapsed over them -- first her mother’s then her father’s. Rainbow Dash practically launched herself over the entire crowd as she rushed to the side of the younger mare, and enveloped the weeping pony in her arms as she openly cried with her. There was not a dry eye in attendance, and I readily admit I was crying right along with them.
This went on for a few minutes before Rainbow Dash walked up to the podium and gently ushered Scootaloo off stage, at which point the celebrant again took her place at the podium. With a nod to two unicorns in attendance, the mare signaled for the caskets to be closed, and then levatated over to the prepared graves. We all stood and gathered around the site as the coffins hovered placidly in place, waiting for everyone to find a place.
Finally, after we all gathered, the celebrant began speaking again. “We now commit the deceased to their final resting place. May they rest in peace, and never be forgotten by those that cherished them. With these final words,” she nodded again to the unicorns, who began slowly lowering the caskets into the ground, “we bid farewell to Snap Shutter and Mane Allgood. May they find peace in the verdant greens of Elysium, as they no doubt will await the time when their loved ones join them in paradise.”
Those of us with them stepped forward to give a final gift of a single flower each to the caskets. Most were white, a few pink, and many yellow roses. Only two red roses found their places upon the caskets -- one each -- and came from Scootaloo herself. Everyone in attendance could feel the heartbreak evoked by those final two red roses, and all were respectful as Scootaloo once again broke down in tears.
After the conclusion of the ceremony, a few close friends of the family said some things of their own, including me, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash. The main service was wrapped up after that, which led to the point afterward where ponies and every other creature in attendance was giving their condolences and such to the young mare; while many were simply saying those things because they felt they had to, I was happy to see a few here and there that actually meant the words, and even offered to help however they could.
After the main gathering began to break up and everyone started to clear out, six heavily-clothed individuals stepped forward to greet Scootaloo. I couldn’t hear what was said from my place near the gates of the cemetery, but I knew the Wonderbolts were now giving their own private words for the grieving pegasus, and she was likely thanking them for coming. All in all, even though it was an intensely emotional event, I was proud of Scootaloo for her maturity and willingness to accept the support that was offered to her.
The ceremony was short and simple, only lasting a little over two hours, and soon, all of us were walking together out of the cemetery. Twilight and all my close friends clustered around Scootaloo as we led her to Sweet Apple Acres, where we had prepared a more private venue for all of us to spend time with her and support her in whatever ways she might need. I knew that Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were already going to be waiting for us at the farm, and assuming Gabby hadn’t gotten lost on the way from the cemetery, she could be expected to be there as well. If nothing else, I knew Scootaloo would feel more comfortable with her best friends in the world, and for now, that would have to do. Though I felt like a broken record for mentally repeating it to myself for probably the hundredth time in just the past few days, all we could do was support Scootaloo as she worked her way through this, and hope that she could still smile afterward.
The snow crunched under my feet as we walked through the front gate leading to the farmhouse, and from my place at the back of the group, I could see the familiar red mane of Applebloom on the front porch. The mare herself was bundled up in a well-loved brown coat formerly owned by her older sister, and she was waiting anxiously for us to arrive. She, Sweetie Belle, Big Mac, and Granny Smith had left early to prepare the house, but we had apparently lost track of time as Scootaloo said her farewells to all the guests, meaning the four had been waiting for longer than we originally estimated. Thankfully, I knew the Apples were anything but strict when it came to plans, so I wasn’t particularly worried. That being said, I knew that the cold was a bother for everyone but me, so I broke away from the group and flew toward the porch, giving Applebloom a half-smile and a firm handshake as I landed at the top of the steps.
“Heya ‘Bloom. Everything all set?” I asked, jerking my head toward the front door.
The mare nodded. “Eeyup! Gabby’s here too, so we were just waitin’ on y’all t’get back.”
I nodded to her and stepped toward the door, holding it open. “Run over and help escort Scootaloo inside. I’m sure seeing one of her best friends as soon as possible will do her some good.” I watched as Applebloom gave a short nod before bounding out into the snow, approaching the group. All the other mares made room as the farm mare made her way to Scootaloo directly, and wrapped the shorter pegasus up in a tight hug. The two shared a quick moment in the embrace before breaking apart and walking with the rest of the group to the farmhouse. After I helped usher everyone inside, I also helped everyone get their coats and such off and put away, then walked over to the kitchen to see what use I could be to those that had been waiting for us.
Big Mac and Granny Smith were in the kitchen, just finishing up a nice lunch for all of us. There wasn’t any cooking left to be done, so I helped them clean everything up while the oven did its work, doing what I could to make the day as a whole go a little easier. Yes, part of it was because it was just the kind of guy I was, but I was also trying to distract myself so that I wouldn’t have to continually relive the time seeing Scootaloo sobbing her heart out at the funeral.
After a few minutes of helping where I could, I was shooed out of the kitchen by Big Mac. I reentered the family room to see Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and Gabby huddling around Scootaloo, hugging her and speaking in hushed tones as the older ponies allowed them to have their privacy by sitting on the other side of the room. I joined the latter group, sitting myself between Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, wrapping my arm around the yellow pegasus, and giving Rainbow Dash an affectionate pat on the knee and a smile.
She returned the smile with a small one of her own, letting out a loud sigh as she relaxed against the back of the couch cushion. I could only imagine that she had been both anxious about and dreading the day of the funeral for days now, so even though there was more grieving to come for Scootaloo, the hardest part of it was over. I knew that Rainbow Dash’s coming weeks and months were going to be centered around her younger charge, but for the first time in awhile, she was able to take a breath and know that she got the two of them through the hardest part of it all, and the rest would be easy by comparison. Regardless, I still had to make sure she knew she could call on me for help if she needed it; if nothing else, it would make me feel better.
I nudged the blue pony with my elbow as I leaned in and whispered, “I know you said you got this, but if you ever need any help with anything, you just let me know, and I’ll be there.”
Rainbow Dash raised her eyes and smiled at me again, playfully bumping her head against mine. “Scoots is gonna be well taken care of, but I’ll keep that in mind. I know that once things calm down, she’d like to have you over to spend time together, and I know she’s gonna wanna spend time with her friends during Hearth’s Warming, so we’ll be at the castle.” She gave me my personal space again as she stretched her arms high above her head, mimicked by her wings. “Buuut, as she starts to work through it all, I’m sure she’ll want to get out and do stuff with the ones she’s close to, so you can be sure you’ll hear from me. Just because Scoots is my focus right now doesn’t mean we aren’t gonna see each other anymore; you’re still my go-to dragon, and life gets boring without you being a dork.”
I was well aware of the fact that I was pretty much the definition of a dork, so I just shrugged my shoulders helplessly. “Well, I don’t want to get rid of my dorkiness then. You wouldn’t have a reason to come around, and I wouldn’t get to ogle you as you did your stretches. It’s win-win, if you ask me.”
Rainbow Dash’s face lit up in a blush as she shoved me playfully, and the other girls gave giggles at our antics. Having a herd of my own and learning to deal with Rarity and Ember had given me a bit more confidence in myself, which made my flirting a bit more refined. I knew I was never going to hook Rainbow Dash with any of it, but like with Applejack, it was a part of our usual banter. Rainbow Dash had five or so years of constant wins on me, so I had to make up for lost time. Besides, even though she’d never admit it, I think Rainbow Dash enjoyed the compliments of a friend more than a random horny stallion trying to get into her shorts, even if said compliments embarrassed her.
I was brought out of my teasing session when I saw the Crusaders approaching, so we all gave them our attention as they made their way over. Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and Gabby all quietly encouraged Scootaloo as they walked over, during which time I made sure to be sitting up straight and at attention for whatever she needed to say.
Scootaloo shuffled over and took a breath before looking up at us. Her eyes were red from crying, she was still sniffling here and there, but she was composed enough to say, “I’m grateful to all of you for coming with me to that thing. I...I-I don’t know if I would have been able to do it without all of you there. So, before I forget I just wanted to thank all of you for being there for me.”
“No one will ever replace your mom and dad Scoots,” Rainbow Dash answered, sitting up a little straighter as she took the younger pony’s hands in her own, cupping them gently, “but we’re family. I don’t care that we don’t share blood or that it isn’t on paper: you’re my little sister, and I’m always gonna look out for you. The rest of these ponies,” she motioned to all of us, poking me in the chest, “and this dork of a dragon, will always be here for ya. Anytime you’re feelin’ sad and wanna talk, or even if you just wanna go do somethin’ and forget about it for a little while, you can come to any one of us. I’m sure I speak for your fellow Crusaders, too.” Rainbow Dash finished by nodding to the other two young mares and gryphoness behind her.
Gabby enveloped Scootaloo in a feathery hug from behind, affectionately nuzzling the smaller pegasus’ mane with her beak. “That’s right, Scootaloo! Crusaders now, Crusaders forever!” Despite the choking fog of grief, Scootaloo was able to give a small smile at her friend’s words and affectionate gestures.
The pegasus enjoyed the hug for a moment before opening her eyes and nodding to us with watery eyes. “Thank you...all of you. I...I still don’t know how I’m gonna get through something like this, but I feel a little better knowing I have all my friends here to catch me when I fall.”
Rainbow Dash stood up and stepped forward, resting her hand on the top of Scootaloo’s head as she assured, “We’ll get through this. It ain’t gonna be easy, but I promise, I’ll make sure you come out the other end of this storm. I swear on my wings.” The last part of what she said caught everyone’s attention, since we all knew exactly how important flying was to Rainbow Dash; if she was willing to place her flight in the hands of fate, she was determined not to fail, and I knew Scootaloo understood as well.
“All right ev’ryone,” Big Mac announced from the dining room, “lunch ‘s almost ready. Wash yer hands ‘n have a seat at the table.”
We all vacated the living room and did as requested, finding our way to the kitchen and then the table in short order. As usual whenever we ate at the Apple home, a veritable feast awaited us, as well as a few dishes that I knew were Scootaloo’s favorites. Scootaloo sat surrounded on both sides by her best friends, with the rest of us finding random places around the table. Granny Smith was last, of course, but with her seated and a short word of gratitude for the meal, we all tucked into the lovingly-prepared hot lunch. Her friends and even Granny Smith herself did their part in loading up a plate full of some of the Apple’s specialty dishes including but not limited to: apple fritters, apple brown betties, apple cobbler, apple dumplings, and of course a generous slice of fresh apple pie a la mode.
When the plate was finally set in front of the young pegasus, Scootaloo could only stare at the comically-large meal for a moment before rolling her eyes, and snorting out a single laugh. Glancing to her friends, she offered a quiet, “Thanks, girls.”
We all knew why we were here, and the Apple family wasn’t much for small talk, so we just ate and chatted about things not related to the funeral or the passing of Scootaloo’s parents. Scootaloo herself didn’t have much to say, but the small smile and relaxed posture told me she was happy to not have to listen to more empty condolences and well-wishes from people, most of whom she hadn’t met previously. Again, it wasn’t much, but even a small improvement on her part was something to treasure, and so I allowed myself a small smile of my own. As chatter flowed more liberally, I took a “back seat,” as it were, and just enjoyed the meal and chatter as I let Scootaloo become the focus of the people there.
Hours later, the sun had fallen below the horizon, and the bright moon had taken its place. Scootaloo had accepted her friends’ offers to stay with them tonight at Sweet Apple Acres, and told Rainbow Dash she would be okay for tonight. And so, because of that, the older pegasus suddenly found herself with no obligations, and a lot of free time she wasn’t expecting. All of our friends, sans Applejack, were free as well, so we decided to have a sleepover for the first time in a long time.
The mood was still somber, and none of us felt like this was a particularly happy time to spend together, but as the saying goes, “a burden shared…”
We quickly rushed toward the castle as the temperature continued to drop, and we arrived home to a roaring fire and nice-smelling hot drinks (the former thanks to Ember, and the latter due to the thoughtfulness of Lyla). I laughed aloud as Rainbow Dash practically bolted up the stairs at the smell of hot chocolate, but took the time to help the other mares out of their coats and boots so we could join her. We were eventually all within the commons room, the hearth crackling merrily with a fiery welcome, and Rainbow Dash herself was lazily sitting on the large sofa with a steaming mug of hot chocolate in her right hand. For the first time in weeks, Rainbow Dash actually looked relaxed, and more at peace than she had in some time. The rest of us took seats around the hearth, some of us even on the floor to be closer to the warm glow, and Lyla happily passed out the warm drinks to the rest of us. Ember was sitting slightly to one side on the stonework of the hearth itself, and I knew if it weren’t for the fact others were also trying to warm themselves, she would be practically sitting inside of the fireplace itself.
I was sitting across from Rainbow Dash, so I was easily able to watch her and see how tired she looked. Though she had taken in upon herself to watch over Scootaloo nonstop for the previous days, I knew it wasn’t easy on her, and it showed in her slumped posture, unkempt mane and tail, and shaggy fur (which she normally kept clipped short, for aerodynamics). She looked loads better than she had when we initially returned from the disaster site, to be sure, but there was no denying that the past few days had been particularly hard on her. We all knew that, while Rainbow Dash had matured and mellowed as time had gone on, she still wasn’t particularly good at dealing with situations involving strong emotion, and nor was she all that great at supporting others through those times. There was no doubt in my mind that supporting Scootaloo in her time of need was a learning experience, to say the least, but we also knew she was the only one that Scootaloo would feel comfortable with.
I was worried about Rainbow Dash, but more than anything, I was proud of her. Even with being as close to Scootaloo as she was, I was well aware it wasn’t easy for her to do what she was, and she was pushing herself to be sure that, as the only pony close to family Scootaloo has left, she was going to be there. I knew Rainbow Dash didn’t think so, but she’d make a good mother, in my opinion.
“Careful Spike, any other girl might think you’re making goo-goo eyes at your friend, there,” Ember chimed in from just beside me.
I nearly jumped out of my scales at her voice, both embarrassed and jealous that I hadn’t noticed as she snuggled up right beside me as I zoned out, thinking about Rainbow Dash. I offered her a nervous smile and answered, “W-well, I’m glad it’s you then, because you’re the best dragoness a guy could have, and you’re so forgiving that-”
She gave an airy little laugh and rolled her eyes, shooting me a playful smirk. “Spike, relax. I know you’re just worried about her, and if I’m being honest, the care you have for everyone close to you is one of the things I treasure the most about you.” After giving me a moment to calm down, she subtly tilted her head toward the mare. “So, what’s got you all worked up about her?”
I let a slow breath out of my nose, taking care not to keep staring at the pegasus across from me. “I’m just..worried about how she’s handling all this. You don’t know her that well yet, but she has a habit of blaming herself for things out of her control, especially when it causes those she cares about to get hurt. So, while she’s not in that deep depression she was in when we first got back from the disaster area, she’s still not doing good. Honestly, I think the only thing keeping her going is caring for Scootaloo. I hope I’m wrong, but maybe if it weren’t for Scoots, Rainbow Dash might have locked herself in her home and never come out.”
“And you’re worried that, now that she’s here and not watching over her pseudo-sister, she’s going to break down or something,” Ember surmised, frowning. “Can’t say I’d thought of that, but then again, I’m still not all that close with all these ponies yet.”
I nodded briefly before turning my eyes back to the dragoness. “Would you mind if she shared the room with all of us tonight? If not,” I held up a hand, forestalling her nervous expression, “I’ll bunk with just you tonight, and she can stay with all the girls. It’s just…” I briefly glanced at the pegasus again, “ponies feel more comfortable sleeping in groups, and she needs comfort right now. She’s going to be up all night if she has to sleep alone, and I don’t want that.”
Ember looked down at her lap in thought, biting her lip nervously.
Seeing her response, I just nodded with a reassuring smile. “That’s a ‘no,’ then. I just wanted to ask you first.”
Ember glanced up at me with a frown now. “I don’t want you changing everything about your life for me. I don’t want a ‘yes drake,’ I want ‘Spike’.”
I waved off her concern with another smile. “It’s not a big deal. I know that sleeping quarters are supposed to be a dragon’s safe place, where only those you’re closest to are allowed. I know it still makes you uncomfortable, and I’ve accepted that there are some things about dragon culture that you will never get past, no matter how much you adapt to life with me. That’s okay.” I then inclined my head toward the resting pegasus across from us. “Besides, you don’t really know her all that well yet, unlike me. It makes sense you’d be uncomfortable with her ‘invading’ a private space. It’s fine, I promise.”
She squinted at me skeptically, her shiny scales almost playfully reflecting the firelight. “Are you sure?”
“I am,” I answered, snaking my arm around her back and under her wings, and pulling her closer against me. “They’ll be fine without me for a night, and we still have a few hours before we go to bed to spend time together.”
It was clear she was still conflicted, but Ember gave me a small nod as she relaxed her posture and rested her head on my shoulder. She let out a soft sigh as she mumbled, “I swear, sometimes you’re too caring for your own good...but I love that about you.” I affectionately rubbed her knee with my palm, but was silent as I just enjoyed the closeness.
“So Spike,” Rarity began as she took a seat on my unoccupied side, “how are you feeling?”
I turned my gaze to the unicorn, raising a brow. “About?”
She gestured generally to the air. “All of this. Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo have been the focus,” she pointed briefly to the suddenly-alert pegasus mare across from me, “but I don’t think we’ve ever really asked how you are doing, other than very briefly. We just want to be sure you’re okay, darling.”
I glanced around the room, noticing that suddenly, all eyes were on me. Even Rainbow Dash, who had been on the verge of dozing off, was focused intently on me as she waited for my response.
Giving a tired shrug, I answered, “I mean, I guess I’m okay. I didn’t know Scootaloo’s parents personally, so there’s no sense of personal loss, there. Other than the scattered nightmares of finding their bodies when Rainbow Dash and I were up there, I’ve felt more pain on Scootaloo’s behalf than anything else.”
Rarity gave me a skeptical look. “And you are sure you aren’t simply pretending to be okay for our benefit? I don’t imagine what you went through was easy.”
Shrugging once more, I answered, “I mean, I’m not gonna say I wasn’t affected, because I was, but it’s not an ongoing issue. Had a few nightmares the following few days, which Auntie Luna took care of, but other than that, I think I’m coping okay. Besides,” I gave Ember a good squeeze, and reached out my tail to affectionately rub Rarity’s calf, “I have good friends and mates that support and take care of me. I think I’ll be just fine.”
All of my hoard-mates (herd-mates) besides Ember blushed hard at the word “mates”. For dragons, it was simply what one called their significant other, but for ponies, the word “mate,” besides being a bit antiquated, was extremely serious in regards to how one referred to a romantic relationship. In the scale of “seriousness,” it generally went “special somepony” (which generally referred to non-exclusive dating), then marefriend/coltfriend, and then “mate” -- the latter was usually only used when a couple (or herd) had decided to be joined in matrimony. It took me a moment to understand exactly why they were reacting as they did, and I had the good sense to blush as well when my brain caught up with me.
“I-I mean...unless we somehow all of the sudden have irreconcilable differences, I think we’ll get there someday,” I nervously clarified. I tried to play it off, but inside I was mentally kicking myself for not taking into consideration what that word meant to ponies. Not for the first time, I cursed the fact that my mouth tended to be faster than my head.
My words only caused them all to blush deeper, but Rarity and Lyla were both smiling widely as well. Fluttershy looked like she wanted to melt into an embarrassed puddle, and Twilight’s face was frozen in a frenzied smile, looking shocked beyond all recognition; Pinkie Pie even had the bright idea to poke the alicorn, which yielded no response. Rainbow Dash had an odd look of surprise on her face that I couldn’t quite place, but when she noticed me looking, she just silently smirked at me.
Still, the silence was starting to get to me, and the reactions of Fluttershy and Twilight had me worried. Did they regret being a part of my life in this way? Was this not serious to them? I knew Twilight had reservations before, so was she expecting things to fail? Had I driven Fluttershy away in an unfortunate example of “too much, too soon”? Maybe if I’d just learned to keep my big, fat mouth shut-
“Spike,” Ember intoned from my side, prodding me hard in the upper arm to get my attention. When I looked at her, the dragoness’ face was hard, and her lips a firm line. “You need to chill out. You have a bad habit of working yourself up for silly reasons. Wait until you get more information before leaping, remember?”
I recalled that very lesson during one of the training sessions I had with Ember, in which I had learned a new character and the spells that I could use with it, and assumed I knew how it would work. So, I stupidly combined it with another character without warning Ember first, and nearly trapped both of us in the pocket dimension for...well, possibly forever. Dragons couldn’t starve to death in the same way other creatures did, and instead just went to sleep for long periods in times of scarcity. This meant that if I had made a stupid mistake like that, I could have disappeared from the outside world without Twilight, or anyone else, ever knowing what happened to me. Ember then took it upon herself to metaphorically (and yes, a bit physically) hammer that lesson into my brain.
I took a few deep breaths before nodding to myself and letting the last breath out in a long exhalation. “Okay...all right, I’m good. Sorry about that.”
See? Twilight isn’t the only one that panics.
Ember just regarded me with a knowing grin, her expression half between playful exasperation, and adoration. I knew she loved me, and I knew she knew that I had my own weaknesses and failings that were a part of who I was. Even so, she accepted these things about me, and worked with me to overcome them. Ember was by no means perfect: she had a tendency to be abrasive without meaning to, or say offensive things without malice, and she also had very little patience for things not related to her mate (me). Just like she did with me, I was working to help her overcome her own failings, so that we could both be stronger together.
As I realized this, I felt a rush of love and affection welling up inside, and I couldn’t help it as I quietly said, “I really don’t deserve you. You know that, right?”
Her smile warmed as she blushed a bit. “Well, I’m not a prize to be won, so ‘deserving’ has nothing to do with it. I chose you, just as you chose me, and that’s all there is to it.” She then nudged me and inclined her head toward the rest of the room. “Looks like they’re coming around.”
I turned my eyes to the rest of the group, and noticed Twilight was now slack-jawed as she just stared at me silently. Her mouth moved a few times with silent words before she finally stuttered out, “Y-you w-would want to-”
“Marry you? I-I mean yeah, eventually,” I finished, shrugging self-consciously. “That’s where romance is supposed to lead, right?”
I didn’t think it was possible, but Twilight’s blush increased as she squeaked something out in an adorable imitation of Fluttershy, complete with hiding behind her wings. As for the shy pegasus herself, she was peeking out of the curtain her mane formed around her face, and was sporting a tremulous smile.
Fluttershy visibly girded herself before quietly responding, “I-I think I’d like that, someday.”
And just like that, I felt like I was soaring.
I couldn’t stop the smile on my face if I tried. I pulled myself away from my place on the couch and stepped over to Fluttershy. She had only a second to stare up at me in bewilderment before I practically snatched her up out of her seat and wrapped my arms around her, smooshing her warm body against my chest. She gave a startled gasp at first, only to devolve into giggles as I started nuzzling her mane and face. She wrapped her arms around my neck as she laid butterfly kisses over my face and cheeks, until we eventually ended with gentle, loving nuzzling. For those few seconds, we were alone in the world.
“Rainbow? Rainbow, where are you…?”
Rarity’s voice brought me back to reality, and I gently let Fluttershy down onto her hooves as I looked around. “What’s going on?”
Rarity looked a bit bewildered before answering, “I-I’m not sure, darling. Rainbow seemed a bit upset about something, and she left.”
I looked to the hallway that led away from the commons area. It only took me a second to make a decision. “Wait here, I’ll check up on her and be right back.” No one said anything as I left, though I caught an odd look on Ember’s face as I did so. Nevertheless, I quickly lit up a familiar spell that enhanced my sense of smell, inhaled the completed spell (which still burned like a handful of pepper), and then followed my nose through the corridors of the castle. Despite the situation, I couldn’t help the few laughs that escaped as Rainbow Dash’s scent doubled back on itself a few times, indicating she had gotten lost at least twice, before it led out of an open window in one of the bathrooms. Without hesitation, I shot through the window with a mighty leap and spread my wings, taking a moment to hover and gather my bearings. After only a few seconds, I picked up on Rainbow Dash’s unique scent, and followed it up to a lonely cloud sitting only a hundred or so feet above the top of the castle. I could see Rainbow Dash’s bare legs dangling over one edge of the cloud, along with her familiar tail, so I quickly flew toward the wispy winter cloud.
Rainbow Dash was sprawled across the cloud with open arms, staring up at the cloudless sky. For the first time in awhile, the winter sky was nearly completely clear, and the pegasus was just staring up at the stars, looking very much like she was losing herself in the vast expanse of space. I landed next to her, gently setting down on the cloud with little more than a soft poof, and quickly set to work crafting a spell in my hands. I noticed Rainbow Dash turning her head to me out of the corner of my eye, but I ignored her stare as I weaved together “fire,” “body,” and “soft/gentle” (the latter depending on the context). After the spell was settled into my palm, I gently pushed up the hem of her light shirt and pressed the burning palm of my hand onto the space just under her sternum. The spell transferred to her skin in a flash of light, and the spell circle glowed briefly on her exposed flesh before fading away.
She looked down at her torso for a moment before gasping as the spell took effect. Though I think it was clear at that moment what I had done, I decided to confirm her silent thoughts anyway. “Warming spell. Doesn’t last long, but it’ll keep you toasty for the next few minutes.” She looked to me briefly before glancing away, again staring up at the stars. “So, are you gonna tell me what this is all about?”
Rainbow Dash was quiet for a long few moments before chuckling and shaking her head. “Just too much mushy stuff for me, y’know? Had to get outta there and get some air before I lost my mind.” She shot a look at me as she added, “I blame you.”
I wasn’t stupid. A bit oblivious sometimes, yes, but not stupid.
“I know you’re not the Element of Honesty,” I countered, frowning a bit as she looked my way again, “but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t lie to me again. If you don’t want to talk about it, just say so, and I’ll drop it, but don’t lie to my face.”
“I’ll stop when you stop,” she answered blandly, turning her eyes back to the stars.
I raised a brow at her questioningly. “What are you talking about?”
“Every time some out-of-towner or noble asks about your relationship with the rest of us,” she began, looking over to me with hard eyes, “you always say something about us being the best of friends, and that we’ve been through so much together, and blah bla-blah, blah blah.” The words were said in a bland tone, but with enough bite to let me know this was something that had been festering awhile within her. “But you’re not telling the whole story, are you?”
I stared with a slack jaw for a moment, gobsmacked. “W-where...Dash, where the heck is this coming from? What are you trying to-”
“All dragons hoard, Spike,” she interrupted, causing me to shut my mouth with a click, “all dragons. The only difference is what, and how much. Ember said it herself.” She gestured around and said, “I don’t see some giant pile of jewels or coins, and you’re not exactly a materialistic guy. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, and that’s when I realized: you have us.”
I stared at her again, but this time, my gaze hardened as I came to a few possible conclusions in my head. “What are you saying, Dash?”
She sat up finally, and flared her wings aggressively as she stood. “Are you hoarding fillyfriends? Is this some kind of macho dragon thing where you’re trying to gather up as many-”
For the first time in awhile, I growled in anger at one of my friends, and had to fight to keep myself under control. Still, the growl was in my tone as I answered, “Don’t finish that sentence. You know damn well that’s not true! I love them! I love all of my friends! You think this is some kinda sociopath crap where I’m just finding the prettiest things to add to a collection?” Again, my confusion reared its head, and against logic, it actually cooled my temper and allowed me to think a bit more logically. “Really now, where is this coming from? What on Faust’s green fields would make you think that I’m doing that, or that I’m even capable of that kind of thing?” I then remembered how she hadn’t left until Fluttershy and I shared a moment, and something clicked in my brain. “Wait...is this about ‘Shy? Why would-”
“Because you’re the very first!” she shouted, breathing heavily as she bared her teeth in anger. She started pacing as she said, “I’ve known Fluts pretty much my whole life, and never once has she shown interest in anyone before you. How do I know you didn’t put the idea in her head or something? Heck, how do I know Rarity didn’t?”
“Are…” I began, unable to finish the thought before taking a moment to collect my thoughts a little more, “...are you being serious right now? Pay attention to the things you’re saying, and who you’re accusing! Dash, we’re your best friends!”
“And so is Fluttershy!” she answered, and I could swear I actually saw steam coming out of her nose as she snorted. “All my life, I’ve been having to watch out for her because she’s too meek or kind to do it for herself. Especially after-” And at that, she clammed up very suddenly, and looked away as her ears pinned back against her head.
Now my curiosity was definitely piqued. “After what, Dash?” She clammed up tight, so I took a chance and placed my hand on her shoulder as she stared angrily down at the puffy cloud. When she didn’t shrug me off, I gently pressed, “Dash, if whatever it is has something to do with this idea that we’re somehow taking advantage of Fluttershy, I deserve to know. I’ll tell Fluttershy it was my fault or whatever, but I need to know.”
Rainbow Dash's face went through an array of emotions as she mentally warred with herself, before she finally let out a long, tired breath as she slumped back to the cloud, landing on her rump. After a few seconds, she finally muttered, “...I’m sorry, Spike. I’m just...worried about her.” She looked over to me with shimmering eyes as she explained, “Back in flight school, Fluttershy wasn’t exactly what you’d call normal. She hit a growth spurt early, so she was tall, and lanky, but the only things that didn’t grow were her wings. This made her a pretty bad flier, which didn’t exactly help her self-esteem issues during a time when all the other little fillies and colts were starting to fly on their own.”
“I already knew that. She told me,” I stated, nodding along.
“What she probably didn’t tell you was that flight school was the easy part, for her,” Rainbow Dash continued, frowning softly as she tried to glare a hole in the icy cloud. “She grew up tall early, and probably because of that, she also...developed early, too.” She glanced at me briefly to confirm, “Yeah, Fluts has been a knockout ever since secondary school. Not that it helped her self-confidence.” She shrugged her shoulders and went back to staring at the cloud. “All of the sudden, a lot of the colts and fillies that made fun of her, calling her ‘Klutzershy’ and mean names like that, were trying to talk to her and even hit on her. She didn’t know what to do...and that was the problem.”
It took a moment for what she might be insinuating to settle in, and when it did, I carefully ventured, “...please tell me that no one pressured her into…’giving herself’.”
Rainbow Dash mercifully shook her head. “No, it didn’t get that bad...but she did end up in a few relationships she never wanted. She just wasn’t brave enough to say no, afraid it would cause them to make fun of her or even hurt her.”
“Did they ever-”
“Oh, hay no,” Rainbow Dash answered with fire in her tone. “I made darn sure of that.”
I nodded in relief, sitting silently for a moment before saying, “Okay, so basically, Fluttershy has a history of being pressured into things she doesn’t want. I kinda figured that, and I understand why you’d be worried about someone doing the same nowadays. Still, I’m her friend; I’m your friend. Why are you coming at me sideways like I’m some kinda stranger? Dash, we’ve known each other for years, and frankly, it hurts that you’d accuse me of something like that. I thought you knew me better, but I guess I was wrong.” My bitterness must have come through in my tone, because Rainbow Dash had the good sense to flinch and look ashamed.
She averted her eyes, suitably chastised. “I-I’m sorry Spike, but you have to understand how it looks to someone that’s seen Fluttershy be walked all over by almost everyone she’s come into contact with. All of the sudden, you get one fillyfriend, out of nowhere. Then you get another one, and another one, and another one, and then you get Ember, and...well, can you see where I’m going with this? Fluttershy never showed interest in anyone before, so it looks like-”
“Like I’m a dragon collecting pretty things for his hoard,” I finished venomously. I snorted loudly, a puff of smoke shooting out of my nose as I glared at her from the edge of my vision.
She looked mildly offended, but I ignored that response. “Hey, I was not going to say-”
“It certainly sounds like you were,” I countered.
Rainbow Dash turned her face away and hurriedly rubbed her eyes. Before I could comment, she said, “Look Spike, I don’t want to argue and I don’t want to fight.”
“You just accused me of taking advantage of someone I care about a whole lot, someone I’ve been friends with for most of my life,” I argued, frowning once again. “How exactly did you think that was going to go?”
Rainbow Dash grabbed fistfuls of her mane as she growled to herself. “No, that’s not...I didn’t mean for-” She let out a long sigh as she let herself fall bonelessly to lay on the cloud again. “You know me, Spike: I don’t think before I speak.”
“That’s apparent, yes,” I quipped with a deadpan tone. “How would you feel if I said something like, ‘Oh, you’re a jock, so you probably aren’t too smart,' or, 'Oh, you’re a pegasus, so you’re probably flighty'." The sneer that appeared on her face was my answer. I pointed to her and said, “That, right there, is what I’m feeling. Doesn’t feel good, does it?”
She held her grimace for a moment before closing her eyes and sniffling. Rainbow Dash hurriedly wiped her nose on her wrist before mumbling, “...you’re right, I’m sorry. It’s just...I worry about her. I’ve always worried about her. I was her only friend for years, and I was the only one that cared about what she wanted. Not even her brother stood up for her.”
“But she’s not that meek little filly anymore, Dash,” I corrected, my voice softening as I began to understand the core issue she had. “Fluttershy isn’t going to be ‘ruler material’ anytime soon, but she’s learned to speak up when she doesn’t like something, and she doesn’t just follow along with what others do to keep from causing a fuss. The day Fluttershy was brought into the herd, she asked me, not the other way around. Granted, she spoke with Rarity about it first, but that was because she realized she wanted to be a part of what we had, and she took the initiative.”
Though it was dark, I was still able to see when Rainbow Dash blushed, suddenly looking rather embarrassed. “...she didn’t tell me about that.”
I raised a brow at that. “What did she tell you?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged weakly as she turned her face away. “Just that everything was ‘fine’. ‘Fine’, for ‘Shy, is usually code for, ‘I don’t really like this, but I’m going to stay quiet because I don’t want to cause problems’.”
While I wanted to blame Rainbow Dash completely for her inaccurate logic, she wasn’t exactly wrong, either. I wasn’t happy about how she had accused me of using Fluttershy’s famously passive nature for my own desires. Still, like a good friend, I swallowed hard and took a deep breath, letting that anger go so as not to poison our friendship.
“Dash, I get why you’re worried -- truly, I do -- but I’m not some random person that saw a target to take advantage of,” I clearly stated, ensuring there was no way to misunderstand me. “I love all of you; you girls mean the world to me. In the extremely unlikely event that you would want in on this family,” I ignored the strangled noise Rainbow Dash made, “I would welcome you not because I wanted to bang a hot friend of mine, but because you’re an amazing mare, inside and out, and we’ve been friends for most of my life. I would be privileged to have someone like you in my life in that way -- heck, anyone would.” Taking a moment to settle the blush that had built up, I continued with, “That’s what happened with Fluttershy. Don’t get me wrong: Fluttershy’s a gorgeous mare, and anyone with two eyes can see that, but that isn’t why we decided she would make a good addition.”
Rainbow Dash stared up at the stars again for a few moments before she snorted. “Hey, wait a minute, what do you mean ‘extremely unlikely’?”
I raised my brow at her. I guess I needed to clarify. “What I mean is that I’m me, and you’re...you. Whatever destiny is in your future, it resides way beyond my own ambitions. Anyone can see you’re destined for great things, Element of Loyalty notwithstanding. Even though you’re not a Wonderbolt anymore, I know that Ponyville -- heck, maybe even all of Equestria -- is too small-time for someone with as big a personality and skills as you have.” I shook my head wih a sad smile. “With your drive and your unprecedented natural talents, I believe you could go further than any pegasus has before you. You could be the pony that ponies still read about thousands of years from now, still completely in awe of your amazing accomplishments. A life…” I swallowed hard to prevent my voice from cracking, “...a life with me, staying here, would hold you back from your absolute potential, and you know that. I’m not a traveller, I’m not an explorer, I’m not a hero, and I’m not a leader. I’m just some drake that happened to get really lucky, a whole bunch of times, and I’m happy where I am. But...but that’s okay. Years from now, when ponies are talking about you the way you used to talk about the Wonderbolts, I’ll be privileged to be able to say, ‘I knew Rainbow Dash before she became great, and she was an amazing friend.”
Rainbow Dash was now sitting up, staring at me with wide, watery eyes. “S-Spike, I…”
I shook my head and waved her unspoken words away. “It’s fine, Dash. I know how to tell the difference between serious flirting and playful flirting. You and I poke and prod each other, but I knew from way back when that nothing was ever going to come from it, so you’re not breaking my heart or anything. Just promise that, if and when the time comes, you’ll keep in touch.” I noticed as a shiver ran through her, and seeing as how it had been a decent amount of time since I found her, I could only assume the warming spell was starting to wear off.
Pushing myself up to stand, I offered my hand and pulled Rainbow Dash up with me when she took it. I nodded down below to the castle, and she got the hint as she wordlessly took flight, heading toward the same window she had left from. I followed close behind her, swallowing down the sadness I still felt from the talk, but the fact we seemed to have come to an understanding was good enough for me.
By the time we got back to the commons room, everyone was preparing for bed, so I let Rainbow Dash follow the rest of the girls. I gave a kiss and words of love to each of my herd, and received a warm glomp from Pinkie, before following Ember to the adjacent room next to Twilight’s bedroom. Ember said nothing, not even asking about my conversation with Rainbow Dash, as she just slid under the blankets and held her arms out for me, beckoning me in. I tiredly removed my clothing, (even my underwear, since it was just Ember), and fell into her embrace. Ember hugged me tightly against her chest, cradling my head in her hands, as she lovingly stroked the fins on the side of my head with her fingertips.
“I know something’s bothering you, Spike,” she whispered, nosing the side of my face affectionately as she continued pampering me with her touch. “I’m not going to ask you to talk about it. What I will say is that I am here for my mate, however he needs.”
The simplicity of her words were welcome. For a few moments, I contemplated exactly what I felt I wanted at that moment, before finally settling on, “...can we just stay like this?”
I couldn’t see her face, but I could tell she was smiling. “Of course, Spike. Goodnight, beloved.”
Ember was usually only particularly “mushy” when we were alone, but even then, “beloved” was a new word for her. I immediately decided I liked it.
“...say it again,” I whispered in return.
Ember nosed the side of my face, her lips hovering just near my ear. “My beloved Spike.”
The sick feeling in my stomach receded just a bit, enough to let me relax. For the first time in awhile, I allowed myself to be held the way I often held others, and relished Ember’s gentle touch and the love she had for me. I closed my eyes and mentally shut out the world as I submitted myself to slumber, content in the embrace of the strong, loving dragoness.
But somewhere, on the edge of my sharp hearing, I could swear I heard muffled crying.
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I'm Surprised Luna didn't make an appearance at the farm. just to check on Scootaloo.
With everything going on at this point in the world, taking care of yourself and anyone that needs you comes first. Thanks for updating though.
This chapter was good, a bit on the short side, but considering the circumstances that's understandable. Have fun and keep floating through life.
Why do I get the feeling Spike just unintentionally messed something up big time with Rainbow?
Deep.
Yaaas D: i was waiting for thios for sooo looong man finally something good ro read
I really hope the next chapter doesn’t take another 7 months.....
10345706
You and me both.
Great to see you back. Another good chapter.
I knew the feels would be strong in this chapter but, damn! And that ending! Wow. Letting someone know that you know that their not into you, especially, when they care about you, I think, would get that reaction, 9 out of 10 times.
Great chapter! Truly great chapter!
Great chapter! The feels are real!
Thank you for updating this story, it's one of the few reasons I keep coming back to this site and I mean this sincerely. Whatever you can provide in the troubled times you're in now is a blessing. I hope to see a new chapter soon, but prioritize your life first, I believe in you.
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I think it's because he accepted Rarity's explanation about the situation that he accepted the consequences. In his perceived naivety he trusted Rarity to give him a better explanation that tilted more toward what he wanted as well. Rarity may have thought that she saw what Spike wanted, but Spike's experience told him better. He then listened to an opinion that followed his heart and not his memory. So he feels just as responsible for the situation since he brought it up.
10344325
he might have. Rainbow Dash is not good with feelings, even her own, and Spike has a tendency to stick his foot in his mouth. Hell, Rainbow Dash might not even know why what he said affected her so strongly, which might just leave her emotional and confused because of it.
I think its time to read this story again cause im way to hungry for more chapters to just sit around
Poor rainbow dash I hope she joins the herd too