April 26, 2012
The harsh sloshing of rain against the bedroom window awoke me. That, and something nudged into my side. I stirred from the floor, producing a few pops and cracks from various joints. I glanced up and saw that Angel had his foot resting on my chest. “Aw, come on,” I sighed.
He extracted his foot and limped out of the room. Against my better judgement, I lifted my upper torso off the ground. Without my glasses, my vision was blurry at best, but it was enough to see that the room was empty.
I struggled to my feet and unleashed a massive yawn, then groped around for my glasses on the nearby furniture but remembered I’d left them next to the couch. I shambled out of the bedroom and entered into the sitting room and gave another yawn.
Doug and Fluttershy zipped through the sitting room and the kitchen with multiple bags in their hands. It wasn’t hard to guess that they contained what was left from last night’s disaster. Angel followed after Fluttershy as well, but held nothing. I scanned around the room and spotted Apple Bloom resting on the couch.
“Hey,” I gently called out while grabbing for my glasses. Apple Bloom had looked like a humanoid blob without them, but now I could see how the night had treated her. Her head wound was a little red, but other than that, looked like nothing more than a simple black zigzag. Her skin lacked a little color and the bags around her eyes told me she’d slept about as well as me. “How ya doing?”
“Better.” The softness of her voice surprised me and I leaned closer to her to hear better. “I’m glad Sweetie’s okay.”
“Yeah... I think we’re more glad you’re okay though,” I replied. “How long have you been up?”
Apple Bloom looked up thoughtfully. “It was dark,” she answered. “Doug was there when I woke up. I... was really scared about Sweetie and everyone else, but he said it was okay and had me stay in bed. Angel woke up a little bit later, but he stopped for some reason. We all saw ya on the ground...” She glanced down at the couch. “Ya coulda slept here, ya know.”
“I was, but I heard noise coming from your room. Turned out to be Ang—” Before I could finish, Angel lept over and slapped me on the back of the head. That and his icy glare were enough to get the message through. I grunted at him and turned my attention back to Apple Bloom. “Eh, it’s a little foggy, but I thought it was best to stay the rest of the night, just in case.”
“Thanks,” Apple Bloom said after a moment. “There’s just one thing...”
“What’s that?” I asked, concerned.
Apple Bloom reached up and pinched her nose. “Ya stink worse than I do after cleaning out the feeding tofts.”
To my chagrin, I realized that amidst everything that had happened, showering had gone pretty low on my priorities list. After the plane, the drive, and the disaster, burning my clothes sounded like a very viable option. I turned away from Apple Bloom and looked over to Doug. He was in the midst of pulling out another trash bag. “Doug, I’m gonna need one of those for my cast.”
~~~
I opened up my eyes and looked over to the grey light coming through the windows. It looked and sounded like somepony was spraying them with a fire hose. I stared at it for a moment and then everything came back to me. I bolted up and jumped off the bed. “Apple Bloom!”
I twisted the knob on the door and rushed over to the bedroom Apple Bloom was in. I was halfway across the room when a voice made me freeze. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen ya move that fast.”
Apple Bloom sat on the couch. She had these horrible stitches on her head and bandages all her arms and legs. The paleness of her coat made me think of Rarity for a second. My eyes got watery. “Apple Bloom.”
I rushed over and hugged her as hard as I could, even harder than the time I made Rarity mad. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! S-sorry!”
“Sweetie,” Apple Bloom sniffled. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not!” I broke away from Apple Bloom. I’d probably just hurt her again if I got too close. I scooted away from her to the opposite end of the couch. “Look at what I did!”
“This?” Apple Bloom looked down at her left arm and the bandages wrapped around it. “Ya shoulda seen me when I broke this leg.”
“I...” I looked up in confusion. “I don’t remember that.”
“I do,” said Fluttershy. She came over to the couch and sat between me and Apple Bloom. Her attention went over to Apple Bloom first. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Applejack more worried. She was so mad that she let you play in the old barn.”
“But I went there myself,” Apple Bloom replied. “Then I stepped on those bad boards and...” She clasped her left arm and sighed. “I don’t like to remember the rest.”
“Oh... well, Applejack still felt like it was her fault, but I don’t think either of you were to blame.” Fluttershy reached out and placed an arm on my and Apple Bloom’s back. “That was a very old barn, but we all got through it.” She smiled, but it felt like she was smiling more at me. “Right?”
“Yes,” I softly replied. Apple Bloom was okay and even Angel seemed fine, if the way he was standing in front of us and tapping his foot was any indication.
“Now...” Fluttershy turned her head and looked down at me. Her hand went away from my back and gently clasped one of my hands. “I... I don’t know a lot about t-this but... well...”
I raised an eyebrow. Fluttershy had been nice before, but now she was being weird. Actually, the stuttering and timidness were normal for her, but I’d never seen her face so red before.
“Y-your body is going through...” Fluttershy paused. I was about to get up and get help because it looked like she was having trouble breathing, but her voice broke through. It was incredibly quiet and I barely heard it. “Changes.”
~~~
I pulled a clean shirt over my head and glanced outside. The rain was still audible in the bathroom, but I liked it, especially given the dry spell Texas and Arizona were going through. The shower had refreshed me and cleared my mind, so hopefully things maybe, just maybe, would be a little more positive.
“No! Um, not right now!” Fluttershy yelled from the sitting room.
That and a door slamming ended my brief moment of serenity. I rushed into the kitchen to see what the mess was and found a very exasperated Apple Bloom on the couch with her arms crossed. Sweetie had joined her, looking as red as a tomato and mumbling to herself. Doug stood near the room’s exit with a devious grin on his face.
“Doug, I heard yelling. Everything okay?” I nervously asked.
“Ever wanted to know what pony puberty’s all about, mate?”
I raised up my cast and shook it back and forth. My face must have been getting near Sweetie’s level of red. “No, no. That’s fine...”
My eyes went over to the bedroom door and then back to Sweetie and Apple Bloom. “That probably wasn’t the easiest thing for Fluttershy to go through.”
“It just sounded confusing to me,” Apple Bloom complained. “All this stuff about calcium and horn growth. I wanted to know about the Earth Ponies growing up, but she ran out.”
The bedroom door opened and Scootaloo stepped into the sitting room. “What the hay did you do to Fluttershy? She just ran into the room mumbling about ‘clearing her h— Apple Bloom!”
Scootaloo darted over to the couch and locked Apple Bloom in a hug. She saw both me and Doug smiling at them and quickly broke away. “Glad you’re okay.”
“Me too!” Pinkie yelled. She zipped across the room, her clothes partially soaked and her hair dripping wet, and jumped onto the couch, somehow inching herself in between Scootaloo and Sweetie. Her arms went out and she pulled all three Crusaders in for a hug.
Scootaloo nudged away from the hug, but was unable to escape. “Gah, Pinkie Pie, you’re all wet from the shower!”
Yet her hair is still poofy, I pondered.
Pinkie raised up a hand and ruffled Scootaloo’s head. “Well, your hair is still a little wet too! Besides...” She brought her attention to Sweetie. “Somepony still needs a bath.”
“Oh right...” Sweetie blushed more and scampered off to the other bathroom. She paused and glanced back at the couch with a relieved look on her face. The door closed and that left the rest of us standing or sitting around the room.
“So...” I looked over to Doug. “What do we do now?”
He marched over and handed me a bag. “Garbage duty.”
~~~
My side ached a little from lifting all the bags, but we’d gotten the room about as clean as it could be given the amount of damage we’d done to it. It wasn’t really my side that bothered me, but my stomach. Doug had wanted us out of there as fast as possible, so we’d gone without breakfast. It hit me as I slid back into the passenger seat that we’d have virtually no refrigerated food out in the wilderness and that depressed me severely. The mood seemed contagious and it wasn’t hard to hear the sound of empty stomachs in the car.
Pinkie was the first to bring up the issue. “Hey Captain, you know what might turn some of these frowns upside down?”
“Less rain, fewer disasters, a nice roof over our heads, more money, and finding the rest of your friends?” Doug grunted. “Maybe Discord trying something new for once and actually being nice?”
“Dude!” I yelped.
Pinkie considered Doug’s answers for a moment. “Yeah, all of those things would be totally great!” she exclaimed, then teasingly sang, “But it would be even greeeater if we had some fooood!”
I stared at Pinkie for a moment and then sunk back into my seat. “Wish I knew where to eat here or if I’d had time to make something at the motel.”
“Oooh, you can cook?” Pinkie’s seatbelt extend a little so that she was closer to my face.
“Didn’t I tell you before?” I paused and glanced back at the Crusaders. Everyone was in the same seats as before. At least Angel wasn’t kicking my chair this time. “The girls seemed to like French toast, but I doubt I’ll be able to make it while camping.”
A high pitched noise escaped out of Pinkie’s mouth somewhere between a squeal and a dog whistle. Doug cut into the conversation. “We’re not going to reach the site I have in mind for another three hours or so. We might as well stop somewhere to eat along the way.” He paused for a moment. “It might be best to go through a drive-thru. I’d prefer to keep attention off of us and, well...” He glanced back and traced over the Crusaders and Angel. “Injured kids are sure to draw plenty of it our way.”
“No way am I staying cramped like this for three hours,” Scootaloo complained.
“I don’t really like those driver throughs though,” Sweetie mumbled. “The people in them are big and scary.”
“Bigger and scarier than the captain?” Pinkie asked with a grin.
“She’s got ya there, Sweetie,” said Apple Bloom.
I turned around and placed a smile on my face. “Think of it like an adventure. There’s lots of places here that don’t exist back home.”
“Yeah...” Sweetie’s eyes slowly drifted to the ground.
~~~
“Welcome to McDonalds, how may I take your order?”
Sweetie squirmed a little in her seat. “What doesn’t have meat?”
Scootaloo pressed her face up to the window and stared at the dimly lit menu. “What does have meat?”
“So what makes the muffin English?” asked Pinkie.
Apple Bloom raised up her arm and point at the menu. “I see pancakes!”
“No pancakes!” I yelled, bringing silence to the car and all eyes to me. “Trust me, you don’t want pancakes in here.”
“Welcome to McDonald’s, can I take your order?” the employee repeated again. He sounded bored, but I could have sworn I heard laughter in the background.
Doug spun back and gave us all a death glare. He then spun back around and belted out an order into the speaker. “Sorry about that. We’ll have... uh... five egg McMuffin meals with no bacon on any of them, all with orange juice to drink.”
Pinkie leaned forward and pressed a hand into Doug’s seat. “Can I have Coke?”
“Sorry, can I make one of those orange juices a large frozen Coke instead?” Doug asked.
After a second, the employee replied, “So that’s five egg McMuffin meals minus bacon, four with OJ and one with a large frozen Coke. Anything else?”
“Yes,” Doug continued, “I’ll have another egg McMuffin meal with bacon. Orange juice for that one, too. And uh...” He paused and glanced at me. “Four sausage and egg McMuffin meals, all with large Cokes.”
“Uh...” I spoke up, “make one of those Cokes a Bananaberry Bash... sounds interesting.”
Doug rolled his eyes and went back to the speaker. “Did you get that? One of those Cokes is now a Bananaberry Bash instead.”
The expression on Doug’s face shifted to one I knew all too well. The drooped lips, the tired eyes, and the anxiously gripped hands, all in preparation for your order to be severely messed up.
“So that’s six egg McMuffin meals, all but one without bacon; one with a large frozen Coke and the rest with orange juice; four sausage and egg McMuffin meals, three with large Cokes and one with a Bananaberry Bash. Will that be all for today?” the employee practically hummed.
The surprised look on Doug’s face made me regret destroying my phone. “Yes. Yes, that is all.”
The employee droned out the total and then asked us to move up to the next window. It opened up and an employee handed us our food. It surprised me to see such a cheery person working at McDonalds, but given his red eyes, he was probably high.
~~~
I slurped down what was left of the Banananberry Bash and set the cup down into a holder. It was okay, but bit too bland, but I wasn’t expecting a masterpiece from McDonalds. At least it cancelled out the saltiness of the McMuffins. I shifted back into my chair and craned my neck to the side to look at everyone else.
They’d all finished their food as well, save for Sweetie. She’d only nibbled on her McMuffin.
“Ya feeling okay?” I asked.
Sweetie slowly lifted her head and mumbled, “Yeah, I’m not really hungry... after last night.”
“Oh...” Sweetie’s response made me slightly coil away and soured the end of my meal. Her tone seemed to register throughout the car and everyone appeared to droop, except for Doug, who kept his eyes on the road.
Outside, we were no longer enclosed by the tall buildings of Sydney, but its urban sprawl was still all around us. Homes, offices, and restaurants filled my view, but there was nothing exceptional to lock onto or to start a conversation. At least it was no longer raining.
“So...” I mentally slapped myself for what I was about to ask, but a conversation starter was a conversation starter. “See any good movies?”
“No,” Pinkie replied, “but the Captain said we’d see a thing called the Avengers.”
I raised up an eyebrow. “That’s out?”
“Out what?” Pinkie asked.
“Um... nevermind,” I said with a wave of my hand.
“Oh...” Sweetie turned over to Fluttershy with soft eyes. “John showed us a movie with a big fuzzy thing called a Totoro. You’d probably like that.”
“Yeah, we should show ya,” Apple Bloom added. Her arm went out and her hand weakly tugged at my shirt sleeve. “Don’t ya have it on that machine of yours?”
“Sorry.” I gave my head a shake. “I left the DVD back home. Plus, all my stuff is probably low on power.”
“Aw,” all three of the Crusaders groaned.
“Sorry,” I repeated.
Fluttershy lightly stroked Angel’s back and looked up at me. “Oh, it’s okay...”
An idea came to my mind. “I can’t show you a movie, but I can tell you a story.”
“Ooooh,” Pinkie squealed. “I love stories! Does it have dragons? Pirates? Cake?”
“I can think of a few that do, but I think this one is very fitting. I leaned across my seat to get closer to everyone in back. “This is the story of a man named Clark and his trip to an amusement park...”
~~~
We exited the car just as Lady Gaga reached the final chorus of Bad Romance. Doug had turned on the radio shortly after I’d given my PG retelling of Vacation. It was your average fare of modern music, so, after a bit, and a lot of prodding from Pinkie to tell another story, I began to talk about Ghostbusters.
Bad Romance had come on just as I’d gotten to Walter Peck shutting off the ghost storage machine. Fluttershy had perked up and had leaned forward with a small grin on her face. “Could you please turn this up? I like this song,” she’d quietly asked.
Doug had obliged and cranked up the radio. I was silently thankful since my throat was getting a little dry. The reprieve also gave me the chance to take in the surroundings. Buildings had been replaced with a sea of trees with tall hills looming over them. It was quite idyllic until I recalled my talk with Doug in the small forest and everything we’d encountered there. My skin prickled up a little and I prayed Doug was skillful enough to know what to do.
I was still praying as everyone got out of the car and stretched. My arms shot into the air and produced a few cracks and pops. “So,” I asked Doug, “what’s the plan now?”
He meandered over to the trunk and began to take out all our belongings. Fluttershy guided Apple Bloom, Sweetie, and Angel to a nearby collection of rocks while the rest of us joined Doug in unpacking the car. Scootaloo couldn’t lift some of the heavier stuff on her own, but it gave having only one workable arm use.
“We’re still too close to civilization out here. We would be fine if we were camping for a day, maybe, but not for as long as we’re probably going to have to. What we’re doing is slightly illegal, mate. So we don’t want to be found,” Doug explained. He hefted a piece of luggage out of the car and then gestured to the near-empty trunk. “We’ll leave this here and move further into the woods. Nobody’s going to think much of it if they spot the car, but they’d certainly report us if they found our camp.”
“Deeper into the woods...” My eyes inched over to the forest that surrounded us now. Rustles, both distant and nearby were easy to hear, as was the squawking of birds. I glanced over in Fluttershy’s direction and was relieved that she hadn’t made “friends” with another snake or worse. My attention went back Doug. “You’re a big camper, done this sort of thing before, right?” I leaned closer. “Know how to handle dangerous creatures?”
“Guess we’re going to find out real soon, aren’t we?” He replied with a grin that bristled the hairs of my neck. I offered another prayer and dove over to a bag that held some insect repellent.
~~~
The trek to the campsite had drenched us all in sweat, even those in the “wounded” group were exhausted by the time Doug finally brought us to a halt. I tried my best to help around the site, but a lack of camping knowledge and a growing ache in my side put me out of commision. So, I sat back and watched everything get set up and then everyone else sat down and said little until Sweetie spoke up.
“I’m bored,” she complained.
“Yeah,” Scootaloo added. “No offense, but this is kinda lame.”
“Have ya got any horseshoes?” Apple Bloom asked Doug. “I mean, I probably shouldn’t throw anything right now, but... well, it’s just something I usually do when I go camping.”
“I have this,” Doug said with a smirk. He moved over to the tent and plowed through the luggage. After a moment, his hand shot up clenching a football.
“A hoofball!” Scootaloo exclaimed.
~~~
I decided that Angel’s eyes were the worst part about him. Any brat could kick you or think you were encroaching on their friends (you’re gonna encroach on anyone if you have to spend so much time in a car with them), but no one else had the black voids he had. There was just something off about them and he just. Kept. Staring. At. Me.
“So did he ever talk much before we got here?” I asked Pinkie out of desperation.
“Oh, we were trying to teach him a bunch of words!” Pinkie exclaimed. “He’s really good at saying ‘hag’ though.”
“You don’t say,” I mused. Angel glared at me, but did nothing else.
Sweetie leaned a little closer to inspect Angel, but not close enough that he could do anything to her. “I wonder if he could always talk.”
Pinkie shrugged. “Kinda hard to tell with any of Fluttershy’s pets. She’s so good it sounds like they talk to her, but every time I tried, they’d just quack, or squawk, or howl at me. It’s really confusing.”
“Sounds that way,” said Sweetie. Her attention went over to Angel. “He’s been pretty quiet. I’d have thought he’d want to go with Fluttershy.”
Angel tensed up. He glared at Sweetie and his face turned a shade redder. It looked like he was trying to cough something up, but he just gave a raspy grunt and slackened back onto his seat.
Sweetie’s pupils turned into pinpricks and her lips trembled. “You... you don’t think I hurt him so that he can’t talk?”
“No way!” Pinkie said, even as I was about to say the exact same lie. “I bet he just has a sore throat. Ya know, like how ya always get sick when you travel? Yup, just like that!”
“Oh... okay,” Sweetie mumbled.
I leaned into the center of our formation to get everyone’s attention. “Well, why don’t we play a game even Angel can play then.” I grinned over at Pinkie. “In fact, I bet he’s a master of charades.”
Pinkie’s grin dwarfed my own and practically swallowed up her face. “Can I go first? Please, please, please, double pretty pleeeease?”
“Don’t see why not,” I replied.
Pinkie shot out of her seat and took to the center of our arrangement. For a brief moment, I pondered what the hell she was doing pulling up her shirt, but she stopped with it fully covered her head. She then flailed her arms around in a creepy fashion.
“Easy,” I said with a snap of my fingers. “The headless horse—”
Pinkie’s head popped back out of her shirt and yelled, “Correct!”
“Man,” I finished.
“Horseman?” Pinkie tilted her head at me. “Is that some weird pony-thing? Sounds really scary! You should tell that story when it’s dark out.”
“It is a scary story, but...” I swatted away a rather large mosquito that was hovering near us. “A horseman is just a man that rides a horse, nothing really scary about that.”
“That sounds super scary!” Pinkie stuck out one of her thumbs and jabbed at her back. “Think of the back pain!”
“I’m with Pinkie on this one,” said Sweetie. “It’s bad enough carrying a ton of luggage.”
“Touche,” I sighed and gestured to her. “Wanna give it a shot?”
“I... I’ll try.” Sweetie got up and stood still for a moment. She raised up her hands to form a circle with a sharp point over her head. She ducked down and began to squat hop in place. I pursed my lips in confusion.
“Oo! Oo!” Pinkie wildly flailed her arms around. “The unicorn doll from The Toy Castle!”
Sweetie dropped her odd act and gave Pinkie a small smile. “Wow, it usually takes longer than that.”
“Woulda taken me all day,” I said. “Never even heard of whatever that is.”
Pinkie sucked in a massive amount of air and got right in my face. “But everypony knows it. There’s the princess, the prince, the evil guard, the band with the instrument weapons, and who could forget the lion-pig-fox?”
“Lion-pig-fox?” I asked. An epiphany hit me that it must have been an Equestrian play that we were discussing. If this was how the majority of the game was gonna go, I was effectively screwed. Yet, it seemed like Pinkie and Sweetie were having fun and they severely needed that after last night. “Hmm, I’ll need to think of a good one. Why doesn’t Angel go next?”
Angel crossed his arms and gave a curt shake of his head.
“Aw, c’mon, Angel,” Pinkie pleaded. “Don’t be a party pooper.”
“Yeah,” Sweetie agreed, “you’d probably win if you actually played.”
Angel made a sharp hissing noise and then threw his arms down. He stood up and prepared to do a skit. His legs went up and then stomped across the ground, while his mouth contorted in rage. He lifted up his right arm and brandished it through the air like a sword.
When his tirade ended, he fell to ground and propped his head up against a his chair. He kept one eye open and frowned. Finally, he got back up and fell back into his seat.
“What was that?” I asked. Sweetie’s mouth dangled open in confusion. She was probably thinking the same thing. Pinkie chewed on her lip and her eyes darted around all of us. “Ya got any clue?”
“I do but...” Pinkie sucked her lower lip into her mouth. “You might get mad.”
“Tough,” I sighed. “I’m gonna be living with him for the foreseeable future, so I might as well build up tolerance to his schtick. Right now, I’m just more curious about what he did.”
“You see...” Pinkie’s eyes slanted sideways as if to walk off her face. “He was kinda doing you.”
I laughed. I laughed very hard. After the hellish travel, the nightmare last night, and a pretty dry drive out to the middle of Australia where god-knows-what was in the bushes, seeing an exaggerated parody of myself knocked my socks off. Only my side flaring up managed to calm me down. “Oh... I needed that. Thanks, Angel.”
Angel, as usual, said nothing. His face went red again and he sunk into his chair as if it made him invisible.
“I think you embarrassed him,” Sweetie conjectured.
“It is charades.” I pushed off from my chair and readied myself. “If you don’t embarrass yourself by looking like a mime having a heart attack, you’re not doing it right.”
~~~
Doug proved his camping worth at night when he managed to scrounge up a pretty decent meal despite a lack of meat and only a few vegetables. He also showed himself as a master scary story teller, easily beating out my retelling Sleepy Hollow. It was probably his deep voice.
As the embers of our meager campfire died down, Doug strutted around the site, ensuring it was protected from the elements and whatever other insidious things Australian nature wanted to throw at us. The rest of us piled into the tent, but I lagged on the edge of it. “All good?”
“As good as it’s going to get, I guess,” he replied, swatting at a large mosquito. “Bloody things always manage to get inside somehow, but at least they’re just bugs.” He lowered his voice suddenly. “Don’t let Fluttershy catch you spraying any,” he added in a serious tone.
“Okay then.” I turned around and made my way into the tent. We somehow managed to squeeze everyone in, with one minor issue: Doug and I had the same area as Angel. Although, after our game earlier, he felt like a much more tolerable creature.
I reclined back and tried to get as comfortable as I could. My painkiller helped a little, but it didn’t hit me with the same unconscious spell it did when I first started on it. At least it helped dull the sound of wildlife and all the bugs buzzing around outside.
~~~
The sharp snap of a twig splintering opened my eyes. “Crap,” I muttered, “Doug?”
“It’s probably nothing, go back to sleep,” Doug grunted.
“B-but what if someone’s out there?” came Fluttershy’s hushed voice from across the tent.
“We’re in the middle of nowhere,” Doug sighed. “Nobody in their right mind is going to be out here.”
“Guess we’re not in our right minds then,” I nervously chuckled. “At least you can reason with people. Animals generally thrash first, steal your food later.”
“Fine, I’ll go take care of the scary twig,” Doug grumbled as he staggered out of his sleeping bag and over to the tent’s exit. He paused to pick up his bow and arrows though. Now that he had them in hand, I really hoped he wouldn’t have to use them, especially on something that was just stupid enough to rifle around our stuff. He stared over at me and I gave him a thumbs up before retrieving my glasses from my case, to get a better view of things in case Doug needed help.
As he neared the exit, he froze. Whatever he’d heard had sent him on high alert if the tense change in his body and the tight grip on his bow was any indication. He raised up his free hand, a signal for me to remain still, but it wasn’t necessary, I sure wasn’t going to tangle with anything that had Doug spooked.
Tense seconds passed. Nobody moved or made a sound. Doug ended the silence with a sigh and lifted the flap of the tent to poke his head outside. The rest of his body slowly followed. I listened while my eyes stayed glued on the tent’s flap.
A pair of aquamarine eyes appeared in the darkness on the other side of the tent. A focused my sight and made out Fluttershy’s silhouette. “Is... is everything okay?”
“There might be something outside,” I whispered so as not to wake anyone else up.
“Maybe it’s just hungry.”
“Hungry things tend to be very set on not being hungry... and don’t mind hurting us to get food.”
“It’s just hungry,” Fluttershy insisted. She crawled forward and slipped out of the tent.
Idiot! I bolted out of my sleeping bed and rushed after her. At least Doug had his bow and I had my cast, but Fluttershy had nothing but good communication skills. I stumbled over to the exit and rushed outside.
There was a blinding flash and then screams filled the night air.
Me: Man this story is so awesome! I wonder what happened! Let's find out!
(Begins to click on the empty space where chapter 24 belongs.)
Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
I wander??
At lead Doug had his bow and I had my cast
1. Did you mean at Least?
Quick! It's the SWAT team! Get the ponies out of there by burrowing underground!
But now that I think about it, HOW are they all going to gather in the same place? Do note that I have not read any other ponyfall as of yet, but might start reading the rest.
Back on track, they MIGHT gather in Australia considering that they're low on cash but... Hmm, this is gonna be tricky... Unless they somehow stow away on a boat to NZ with all the sheep and grass, might be a better change of pace for them. Might. Only problem is smaller country with less place to hide or run, just mountains and plains. Oh and sheep, did I mention sheep?
Edit: Oh yeah, you both updated at the same time too Now to only flood the entire feature box with 100% pure ponyfall stories!
Downvoted for NO reason other than the first word of the title.
2831254 You're one of those guys aren't-cha, Nancy?
2831434 A dick?
Seems that way.
I don't downvote anything without reading it first and judging it myself, and even then I rarely downvote a fic.
Some people are just dicks to be dicks.
2831254 What I always say: if you think something isn't good enough, go make something better. Then there's only room for improvement. Commenting about how youdownvoted doesn't really accomplish anything, besides that you're a judgmental person who randomly decides they dislike things by the series they're part of.
My response to this AWESOME story:
I wonder if Rarity is going to kill Fluttershy?
And I hope Fluttershy wasn't sent to the moon
... Ha, haha, hahaha! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Eh he he, you know how to make a good cliffhanger my good man, eh hahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Naw, he just cried from laughing so much.
2831876
This story bears the title of a long running series of shallow, poorly characterized, barely pony related bullshit with next to no reason to exist except as waifu fantasies. I read some popular Pony fall series and they were unambiguously shit.
Write something better, you say?
Just HOVER over my fucking name and you'll see that this is a baseless attack. Not only do I write for myself instead of just being a snarky critic, I have written a parody of 2nd person human clop, I've written a love story, and I've taken on a number of other concepts too, after seeing them and wanting to try then for myself. I even wrote a side story to a favorite series of mine.
The writing skill here isn't shit, and the subject matter is forgivable, but declaring itself to be Part Of The Ponyfall Universe is not forgivable.
2833136
Actually, it makes sense they annoy you, or the concept at least. It was originally started as a troll series, but it caught on, so they continued writing it seriously. So it wasn't originally intended as a necessarily good story concept. And I hate most human pony stories and self inserts, so I can understand why you wouldn't like this one.
For the 'write something better' part, that's not how I meant it, and it wasn't meant as an attack. What I was saying was that if you don't like the series, make suggestions to make it better, or correct the concept yourself. If you took it as an attack, sorry. Also, the way you described your stories sounds cool, I'all probably read one some time
If you didn't like the series, you didn't need to come and flame. Also, if you took my comment as an attack, I'm sorry. Not how it was intended No offense meant, even though it did sound kinda harsh
2833136 Hmm.
There are probably a lot of PonyFall readers who suddenly dislike you thanks to your (mostly baseless) comments.
If we were to use your reasoning, we would all down vote all of your stories. Not because of any lack of writing skill (we wouldn't know because we wouldn't be reading them), but simply because you're the one who wrote them. Suddenly, you would have over two thousand down votes (the number of regular PonyFall readers, that's not including the casuals) on every one of your stories. Heck, if only one percent of us did that, that's still an additional twenty down votes per story based on nothing other than the fact that we didn't like you.
Kind of stupid, isn't it?
I don't like clop. But I make better use of my time than to go around and down voting every clop story I see pop up on FiMFiction. If I did that, I'd be no better than the people who visit MLP videos on YouTube specifically to attack bronies.
The better thing to do is to avoid it altogether if you don't like it.
2833573 Well put.
Wait i thought John pulled out like 1000$ before hand and doug had already started that he had pa
fortheplanealready
2840682 I know, right? When's he going to 'pony up' the dough?
Note: Yes, we as writers are aware that he has money. That doesn't necessarily mean that he's going to let Doug know that.
2840682 have you ever tried buying snacks at an airport? im supprised he was able to get what he got
2833573
Maybe instead of moaning about to the authors and fans of the genre, it would be a better use of his time to beg knightly for better filtering mechanisms on the site?
DragonLz (guy who got celestia) is rich. they go to him, also he has the queen in this chess game, so to speak.
2853218 DragonLS actually. :P
2856948 Right, thanks. :D
Damnit Fluttershy how many times do I have to tell you no more friends!
2833136
You, sir, are a mediocre writer at best. Not only that, but you're bragging about writing the -lowest- form of comedy. You might have written a lot, but that doesn't make you brilliant. Maybe if you actually wrote a clever piece here and there, your words would actually carry some weight.
Instead, you just come across as a self-important douche who doesn't have anything important to add.
2877549
First off, I recognize that by leaving a comment like that I was being an elitist, and that I was totally flame baiting. So, I'm sorry for being a douche. That applies to everyone in the comments. It's nothing personal, honest, and I shouldn't start shit like this just because I feel like being grouchy.
With that out of the way: Fuck you.
Nothing about that post was bragging. I said that I have written things; that I am not pretending to knowledge that I don't have. I didn't claim that I was clever for writing a parody of such low-hanging fruit as second person human shit. I didn't even claim that I know how to write, only that when I write, I explore.
The fact that you judge me as "mediocre at best" is amusing, partially because now you're the one making big claims in that you presume that you're some kind of big deal and I'm supposed to give your opinion weight. Though, now I wonder if you actually went and read something of mine. I'd be interested to hear what you actually hate about my work, if you're not making shit up (you probably are).
More importantly, it's amusing that "mediocre at best" is supposed to hurt my feelings. Oh nooo, I'm not a very good writer. And here I thought that my My Little Pony fanfiction was high art.
You want to hear bragging?
Edit: eh, no, I'm still not comfortable waving that one around. Suffice to say I'm proud of the names in my list of followers.
2831876
As for you, I wanted to apologize extra much, because your response was 100% reasonable, and my response to you might have been construed as aggressive when I really didn't (or shouldn't have, anyway) have such feelings towards you.
2877758>>2877897 No problem
2833573
You too--I owe you an apology.
2878029 Thank you.
It takes some class to man up like that, especially online where the easy thing to do is toss out insults.
My guess is that you're largely unaware of the many changes PonyFall went through - how all of the 'wish fulfillment' crap was tossed out over a year ago, and how we went from 34 writers down to 8 to make things better and under control.
And hey, if you were already aware of that and still dislike PonyFall, that's alright too. Just try to avoid vote-bombing them out of spite, please.
2878079
A year? What? I remember a time when Ponyfall was the subject of drama, but there's no way that was over a year ago...
And the fact that there are 8 designated authors is interesting too. Not what I expect from a "universe."
Anyway, I've said enough.
2878500 Yes believe it or not, those problems were from over a year ago. Back in April of 2012, just before I stepped in to fix a sinking ship.
Some people still hold onto those memories of back then and, to them, that is still what PonyFall is about.
But we've long since moved on since then and just sort of roll our eyes at those sorts.
As a side note: PonyFall has never been a shared universe sort of thing. Just a single story told through multiple participant's eyes. Though things may move in that direction someday, it's currently just another of many misconceptions about it (and probably why I still get people asking to be a part of it at least once a week).
>.>
<.<
Okay then
2877737
Who said I hate anything about your work?
Mediocre means average. It means you're nothing special. It means there are dozens of writers here that have more skill than you. Am I one of them? Of course not, don't be daft. I'm a mediocre writer too. I don't hate your writing, you even had one of them that I dare say had a moment of brilliance. Overall, though, you're a mediocre writer whose statement "Write something better? Hover over my name and you'll see that it's a baseless attack" is a bragging statement. It's saying "can't you see? I have written better things", which is BRAGGING.
And all from a guy who is a mediocre writer.
Is that meant to hurt your feelings? Of course not, I'm a mediocre writer too. You happen to have more followers than me, but Bieber sold more albums than the Beatles. And no, I'm not saying you're Bieber or I'm the Beatles in quality. Like I said, we're both mediocre writers. So I guess the question becomes why I called you mediocre? It's because I feel mediocre people shouldn't be making statements like "write something better? Have you seen my work?" which is essentially what you did.
I do apologize for some of what I put, insult wise. I should have been better about it. But that doesn't change the fact that you came across as bragging and you have no room to be so.
Why aren't the Ponyfall writers updating anymore?
3120697 yea, someone already replied to tat omment, sry, my keys aren't working
2878572 what do you mean by shared universe? I don't really understand, so I kinda feel stupid right now. To me, "single story" and "shared universe" sound pretty similar.
Fun Fact: this story has more words than the first three harry Potter books. (Not combined, thankfully)