Three girls. How did three girls manage to completely obliterate my understanding of the universe? Well, I guess I shouldn't call them girls (even though they look like they are), ponies would be the better description.
All I wanted was a nice breakfast and a chance to skip class. But the world decided to break on me instead, or maybe I broke it. I can't really make heads or tails of things anymore.
But what I do know is that I found three girls and they were scared. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've got to help the Cutie Mark Crusaders get back home.
Part of the PonyFall Collaboration
Cover art by suirobo
Chapters (27)
Look, ma, Ponyfall!
It's not garbage! Characters seem to be mostly in check, the self-insert doesn't make me want to cut you, there was no socially-unacceptable actions like tit-groping (or worse), and the humanified ponies reacted more or less as one would expect from a talking horse that is now humanoid.
In short, a flying start. If this is representative of the level of quality Ponyfall now carries, it has redeemed itself in my eyes, at least a little. At any rate, I'll keep an eye on this one, and gladly.
Have fun explaining why you have three girls to everybody else!
Great way of establishing that this is indeed MLP! A prologue would have been nice in the other Ponyfalls as well, but that kind of collab would have taken a LONG time, and it would say a lot of the same stuff over and over. Great job here! /]
Ponyfall seriously isn't my thing, but since I heard the group was trying to improve the quality of its stories I thought I'd check this out... and I've gotta say, this is the first one of these that I've actually enjoyed! The Cutie Mark Crusaders are nicely in character and the writing is fairly decent. Most importantly, whilst I don't think I'm ever going to be a fan of self-inserts, yours didn't make my skin crawl, unlike some of the ones from the other Ponyfall stories (I'd rather not say which ones
); that counts for a lot. I thought the whole pedo thing was overplayed, but that's just me.
It's good when a story pleasantly surprises you. This was definitely one of those times
Ponyfall is looking good. Also nice job you did keeping the CMC in character. Awaiting next chapter.
What's up with all the people hating on ponyfall?
Anyway nice story.
Finally a Ponyfall story worth tracking!
Looking good thus far. Seeing the Crusaders' reactions to their new situation and surroundings should be... interesting. I'm not sure if it'll be adorable, hilarious, or mind-scarring. Or some combination thereof. I'm also not sure if it would be a good idea to show them the clip of their talent show performance, but the idea is too hilarious for me to ignore it.
Let's see... the sudden smell of fudge in Central Texas... did a Lambs Candy truck crash would be my first thought. I might have to keep track of this one just for the idea that it takes place in area that I'm familiar with, being from Central Texas.
And I for one do not have a problem with the Official Ponyfall fics, most so far seem to be damn good. So I expect you to do the same.
Finally something else than that never-ending ''we find naked unconsious girl in an alley/the bushes and we take it in'' or something. The characters are solid, everything else seems in check too... and a intro in Equestria
I had not seen something like that.
But... some things are still the same like all the other ponyfall fics out there:
-a brony finds them (or someone with knowledge about MLP)
-a youth finds them
-no one seems to go to the police but just takes them in.
I'd have to say that of all the Ponyfall fics I've read, this one is probably the best. Writing is solid with good flow and little to no spelling or grammar errors. At least as far as I could see. The CMCs were all in-character as well. You've earned a track and thumbs up.
439757
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go make the Crusaders breakfast 
pray for me people.
To everyone who said this was a good ponyfall fic,
Be sure to send thanks to the rest of the official ponyfall team as well. We've had people preread and edit the hell out of our fics. Especially Slorg .The mods asked up to step up our game and we did. Expect the ponyfall fics that have already been published to be updated to meet our new standards and expect all new ponyfall fics to maintain the same level of quality you've read here.
Personally, I'm just glad people are liking it. That shows that our collab is back on track
439583
patience on the police stuff, I did try to call an ambulance at least before all hell broke loose
Oh noes! What are they gonna do when they discover that humans never get cutie marks?
And don't try to tell me that they won't discover that in a while, 'cause I know what EXACTLY what's gonna happen then:
-CMC try cutie mark activity. (In public)
-They make idiots out of themselves & John. (In public)
-They take off their pants to "check their flanks." (IN PUBLIC!)
-John says "HELL NO!!!" and comes clean.
XD Still wish I had gotten in before the head honcho said no Cheerilee... I was okayed by the rest of the chat the night before that announcement was made, but that wasn't fast enough. So, sadly, I do not get to do Cheerilee... *Sighs* Oh well. At least you don't have to worry about me trying to find you because you have her students! xD
439348
well, he could make up a lie that one of them is his cousin, and the otehr 2 are her friends
Looking good. Nice to see that people are, for the most part, actually reading the story before jumping on the down-vote bandwagon.
As Fullmetal Pony stated, every PonyFall story is being revamped. Bear in mind that most of the adult ponies will still be without clothes at first (because they don't generally wear clothes, of course). Those scenes will be a bit more tasteful, however. Some adult humor? Yes. Random groping for no apparent reason? No.
We're attempting to make all pony reactions a bit more realistic as well. Some people will think to call the police, others won't. Some ponies may handle their new body fine, others won't be able to walk for a while.
Anyway, good to see a warmer reception than usual.
439362 Actually, they are making each of the Ponyfall writers either write a prologue or have a flashback to what happened previous to their arrival on Earth.
440893 When was THAT announced!?
Well it looks like Ponyfall has gone from one of the most horrible things I have ever read to mediocrity. So congratulations to the editors that was a hell of a jump.
439292 Yay for RD tit groping!
442612 Like... Forever ago? Over a week ago. April... 3rd, I think.
444487 Very helpful. :P
Wouldn't they all be naked? And he's carrying one of them though a forest...
Hmmmmmm...
I honestly cant find anything wrong with this fic! You my good sir deserve a GIF!
This is what you do to the shitty fics...
chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/pokmon-pokmemes-dat-iron-tail.gif
CONGRATS
Iron Sides APPROVES!!!
I'm am going to wonder how he is going to get them onto the campus... I mean really if he takes them back to his dorm or some place similar, people will likely think he is a pedo or something.....
439292
I quote everything you've said, good sir. And I add this:
Tit-groping is best way to wake up a girl. It's confirmed.
:
I know the CMC ponyfall would be nice and sweet
.
I'll track this becase I hope for some fun reading about main character babysitting them
Have a few hearts because you make me believe that people wathing MLP are not weirdo pervs again
intresting so far
Reviewed your fic: Come on you martyr...
Drosselmeyer as in this Drosselmeyer?
469058
Ho-ho!
Indeed!
thanks!!!!!!!!
loved it!
I sense someone crying in the beginning of the next chapter.
And he got lucky and wasn't stuck getting to his dorm room during a active hour.... that would have turned out very weird for him.....
This is better done than any other stuff like this I have seen. (Though I'm shure the CMC know what a show is. Equestria has plays and singers and stage magicians; they have shows and even call them that. )
Well, you managed to be read before two other stories (a total of four chapters), and considering all the hate ponyfall has been getting, that is an achievement. Maybe a slightly worse written ponyfall would have been turned down, but I am glad I read this first.
You showed them the show..... and taught them how to use forks
I like this compared to the others, the CMC were meant to have weird crap happen to them and this clearly is one of those times, the emotions, the tensions between you questioning the sanity of the girls and your own, it fills me with excitement and angst to see what will happen
I look forward to your next installment with eagerness, and will wait right here-
farm4.staticflickr.com/3166/3091353176_c3d751fa2b_z.jpg
In this dark, creepy tunnel and bravely fight off the hordes of rats n crazed homeless people until your return.
Please hurry, it's dark in here
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT1s2rGg-bl_axYsFb_UDff1nQq6oboXGPL7a3ss09AL3HEM1Vf1Q
Carefully... Carefully..
FUCK.
This story made me lose concentration and rip out my eyelashes
474946
what?
...
discord, you faggot.
very good story this has to be so far my favorite ponyfall
Excellently written thus far. Perhaps the most realistic reactions in Ponyfall on both sides.I look forward to more.
474969 I was plucking my eyelashes. But this story was so interesting it made me lose concentration and rip out more then I should have...
I ffffffuuuuuu'd a lot.
475590
Hmm, making a story that caused RL harm... I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing oh well
So awesome! I love this so far!
We need moar
Sincerely the Doctor
*Applebloom
But, other than that, a great chapter!
Sho awshum
475830 it means it's really good.
So good it makes me lose concentration from a necisary task to look like rarity after beating discord