A Human In Equestria

by ABoyNamedAlex

Honeymoon

"Oh please, don't stop because of me. I'm just here to take my husband home with me." she said.

"What are you talking about?" Luna asked.

"Well, as of last night, and according to these papers, me and one 'Alex McGrath' are legally married." she said, producing some papers using her magic.

"What the hell are you talking about, Chrysalis? I never married you!" I said in my defense.

"Well, obviously you did. If you have anymore questions, please ask my lawyer." she said.

"Alex, what is the meaning of this?" Luna asked, looking at me.

"I have no idea. This document must be fake." I said taking the papers from her.

I looked at them. They seemed official enough. Celestia took them from me and looked them over.

"Well, according to this, Chrysalis and Alex are married." Celestia said.

"This might not be the best time for this, but, polygamy is legal in Equestria." Spike said from behind me.

I was shocked. I had no idea what was going on. I turned to my groomsmen and asked what had happened last night.

"Well, it did take a while, but apparently alcohol effects humans, and you found Chrysalis in an ally way, you both went to the town hall of Ponyville, had a quick ceremony, and you both signed the papers." Spike said.

"And you didn't think of stopping him?" Twilight said, marching across the room and getting in Spike's face.

"Well, in our defense, we were all pretty drunk that night." Blue Blood said.

"SHUT THE HELL UP BLUE BLOOD!" the entire hall yelled, Blue Blood backed up and had his head down.

"Well, now that everything is out in the open, come Alex, we have lots of children to make together." Chrysalis said, putting her face inches from mine.

Luna sprung from her spot and knocked Chrysalis on her side.

"Oh hell no! I love Alex and I am not going to let some swap-dwelling bug take him away from me! Celestia! Quick! Finish the ceremony!" Luna yelled.

"Okay, if anybody has any further objections, I now pronounce you Man and Wife. You may kiss the bride!" Celestia yelled quickly.

Luna whipped around and kissed me. The ceremony was done. The kiss had been sealed. Me and Luna were officially married.

"HAHA! Take that, Chrysalis! You can never take Alex from me now!" she said.

"Why you, low down, man stealing, family breaking, filly-fooling, WITCH!" Chrysalis screamed and leaped at Luna.

They both rolled around on the floor, kicking, biting and pulling hair. I jumped in and was able to separate them. They were both still clawing at each other, trying to kill on another.

"Okay you two. Break it up! I think I have come with a compromise." Celestia said pushing past me.

"And that would be?" Luna asked.

"Why don't we flip a coin?" she said.

I literally wanted to jump up and strangle her. You cant leave something like that to chance. Either way, Celestia produced a coin and flipped it in the air. It flew up. I raised my hand and black lightning shot out and destroyed it before it could hit the ground.

"This is not the correct way of doing this." I said standing up.

"Fine then. I have a different compromise. Lets cut you in half. Chrysalis can get the bottom half and I can get the top half." Luna said.

"Okay, let me think about this for a minuet. NO!" I said.

The entire room was on edge. Most of the people had no idea what was going on and were still shocked that Chrysalis had showed up.

"Fine then! I have an idea! All three of us will go on a honeymoon. We will go over everything and see which one Alex chooses to stay with and which he decides to divorce." Chrysalis said.

"Okay then. I don't see how it matters. Alex will still chose me." Luna said.

"LUNA! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" I yelled.

"Alex, your wives have made a decision. Now go and pack your things, we leave in an hour." They both said at the same time.

"Way ahead of you, we already packed Alex's bags before the ceremony took place." Flack Jacket said.

That is one of the first times I had heard him speak and already I wanted to kill him. Well, just to appease my wives, I went up stairs, grabbed my stuff while they grabbed theirs and we boarded a carriage to head off to a honeymoon I would probably not enjoy. Everybody was waving as the cart flew off. I was looking out the window wishing that I was not here. I turned from the window and both Luna and Chrysalis were looking at me.

"I'm guessing this compromise starts now?" I asked.

"Well, I guess it does, and by the way, Luna, Alex will never chose you over me. You see, I can do things you would never dream of doing with him. You have a lot of shame and I have very little." Chrysalis said switching seats to be next to me.

"Okay, I'm going to ignore that statement and scoot over a little." I said scooting away from her.

"Oh don't be so shy, Alex. Were married now so it should be fine." she said.

"Okay, I think that's enough of that!" Luna said sitting between us.

The ride was horrible, Chrysalis kept trying to get with me and Luna kept getting in her way. There was enough tension in the cart to tear it in half. I tried to stay silent but I kept getting asked questions that I was forced to answer. Because we had left too quick, Luna was still in her wedding gown and I was still in my suit. She looked as beautiful as ever in it. Just seeing her kept my spirits up. If only Chrysalis wasn't here, then I guess the ride could have been more enjoyable.

"So, Alex. Is it true? Did you and Chrysalis get married?" Luna asked.

"I'm not sure, the papers are legitimate but I have no memory of it. Man I must have been drunk." I said, trying to play it cool.

"Oh, that's sad. I cant believe you don't remember it, Alex. That night was also the night we had our first kiss together. I must admit it was a bit of a surprise but it blew my mind. We will have to do it again some time. How's about now?" Chrysalis told me, crawling over Luna.

Luna grabbed a chunk of her hair and yanked her back into her place. I bet Chrysalis would do the same if Luna tried something like that. Just to try to see how much longer my suffering was going to last, I asked the girls where we would be going to be staying for our honeymoon. They told me we would be staying in a city not far from Canterlot called Manehatten. We would be staying at a romantic, five star resort near the sea. I asked how mush longer it would be until we got there and Luna told me we should be landing shortly. Finally! About f-ing time!

We landed in Manehatten at the resort. It was big and beautiful. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and the smell of the sea felt good in my lungs. I needed a vacation, too bad I would probably never be able to enjoy it to the fullest. Either way, I was here and I was going to make the most of it. The three of us left the carriage and walked into the resort. We found our room quickly and thankfully nobody here had really ever heard of Chrysalis and her deeds, so thankfully not a lot of weird looks. We walked into the room. It was on the top floor, had a balcony overlooking the ocean, and had two bedrooms. Luna told Chrysalis to sleep in one room while I would sleep with her. She refused. I told them to both shut up and just sleep in the same room and I would take the extra. They regretfully agreed and went to unload their stuff. I picked up my suitcase and pack and went into my room. Even though I though it was small the inside seemed huge. There was more than enough room for me and probably the girls too. But there was only one bed and that may pose a problem for me at night. I dropped my stuff and laid down on the bed. The clock on the wall read three pm. This day was slowly ending and I was glad for it. I made sure the door was closed and began to unpack my stuff. In my bag I found a card. I opened it up and saw a picture. It had a picture of me, Spike, Blue Blood and Flack Jacket and Big Mac all in front of the camera with huge grins on our faces. Down in the corner was writing that said "best night ever". I laid the picture on my bed side table and unpacked my things. After I was done, Chrysalis walked in.

"Hello, darling, do you need any help unpacking?" she asked.

"No, I got it under control but thanks for asking." I replied.

"Okay, Luna and I were thinking of going down and grabbing a bight to eat after we got settled in, would you like to come with us?" she said.

My stomach rumbled. I had had nothing to eat all day and I was starving. I wish I could have grabbed something while I was at the wedding but Chrysalis just had to show up.

"Yes, definitely. I'm starving." I said.

"That's good, and for desert, I have something very sweet for you to have once were alone." she said giving me a seductive look.

I turned away from her and finished unpacking. She left laughing about how shy I was. Normally I wasn't but under the circumstances, I was justified. I quickly changed into a black hoodie and jeans. The girls changed out of their dresses as well. I made sure I had the Ring of Aroc just in case that was the real reason why Chrysalis was here. About ten minuets later, we left the room and went down to the lobby and into the dining hall for a sort of half lunch half dinner kind of thing. It was good that they had meat here. It seemed strange, a world of ponies having meat on the menu. I was excited that they had meat because I had not had a good steak since I was in the human world. Luna ate a salad and pot pie( not the drug I mean.). Chrysalis had the same. Things seemed tense between them so to loosen things up a bit, I ordered a bottle of their finest cider. Everything was all expenses paid so money was no problem. They brought the cider and three glasses. The waiter poured the glasses and left. We held up our glasses. The three of us drank. The cider was warm and tasted delicious. It felt good running down my throat. We finished the bottle and left. It was late in the afternoon and we didn't have a specific schedule so we decided to go to the beach. I grabbed a pair of swim trunks and a white t-shirt from my bag. When the three of us were ready, we exited the hotel and walked to the beach. Luna was wearing a blue one-piece bathing suit and had her mane tied back into a long ponytail while Chrysalis was wearing a green one that seemed to be a little tight on her, I think. We found a spot on the beach. There were not a lot of ponies out there this late in the afternoon so there was plenty of room for us all. Luna disappeared for a bit, so I went looking for her, Chrysalis told me to hurry back, she was already in the water. I was walking near a shed when I was jerked inside of it. It was hot in there and there were boxes stacked up in it. There was barely any room to move around and on top of that, it was dark. I looked around and found out Luna had pulled me in here.

"So, this is where you ran off to. Not exactly the best place to be at the beach, but who am I to judge." I said.

"I need you, Alex. We haven't had a minuet alone with Chrysalis around to I thought this would be the best way." she said.

It was really getting hot in this shed and I was beginning to sweat, Luna was already sweating. Luna looked sad and depressed.

"What wrong? What can I do to make it better?" I asked.

"Show me that you love me." she said, she said it kind of straight forward and it sounded like she had practiced it a few times.

I did the first thing that came to mind, I leaned forward and kissed her. She sat down, looked up, and closed her eyes. At first it was a normal kiss, nothing really special about it. Then our tongues touched. I felt a spark between us. Suddenly she stood up and pushed me against the wall. She stood on her back legs and used her front legs and the wall of the shed for support to kind of seem a little bit taller than she normally was. Feeling her lips touch mine was like a release. Finally being able to express my feelings for her without interruption. I rapped my arms around her body and pulled her close. Things were just starting to get good, then the door opened and, surprise surprise, Chrysalis was standing behind us, a disappointed look on her face. She was wet like she had just gotten out of the ocean.

"Well, well, look at what we have before us. Really Luna, I expected more from a princess. If your going to kiss somebodies man behind their back, find a place a little less obvious." she said splitting us up.

Luna looked ashamed. Chrysalis left us, I guess expecting us to follow her, I actually expected more from her. As soon as she was out I slammed the door shut and locked it from the inside, now the only way she could get back in was with a key. I turned back to Luna, she was already ready to continue. I held her close and kissed her again. She told me she wanted me love her and never stop. I told her I would never leave her.

"Alright, that's enough!" I heard a voice say coming from the other side of the door.

Chrysalis kicked it down, breaking both the lock and the door. She grabbed me by the neck of my shirt and dragged me out of the shed. Even though it was hot it still felt good to be out. Luna trailed behind me, giving me a sad look. I winked at her and gave her a smile that said that would not be the last time we kissed.