The Donut Rebellion, Part 1
"Right, so, what's the sitch?"
"What's a sitch?" Chrysalis put on a confused expression, her face contorted.
"Ugh, how is anyone supposed to appreciate my humor when nobody understands the references!" Ricky screamed in frustration.
"You have a sense of humor? Ha, that's the first funny joke you've made," Chrysalis smirked as Ricky sent her a death glare that would petrify any man. Too bad Chrysalis was a girl, a sassy one at that. Seeing that his glare was ineffective, Ricky tried to compensate by sending a "Fuck you, Chrys," with a positively withering tone. Chrysalis' smug expression was suddenly replaced by a hurt one, but it was fleeting, and in the split second it came, it was gone, the smug grin and half-closed eyes back. However, it was quickly replaced by another one: shock.
"What did you just call me?" She asked quietly, and Ricky's pupils shrunk to pinpricks as he realized what he had said. "U-u-um... Chrys?" He said.
"You gave me a nickname?" She continued on, getting even quieter. She now sounded almost on a volume level with the timid Fluttershy he had first met. Ricky could only manage a slight nod in response. Thankfully, to break up the awkwardness, their destination was upon them. However, Chrysalis maintained a shocked look of deep thought as the two of them walked through the now open doors, Chrysalis opening them with less conscious thought than pure force of habit.
The meeting room was easy enough to find, but Ricky paused. This served two purposes: to let Chrysalis catch up, as she was plodding behind, oblivious to the world, as well as to let Ricky contemplate his objectives.
'Well, these people I'm dealing with are powerful people. The balance of power in this little group of ours is awfully shaky. I'm the outsider, the one with no reputation and no inherent powers, save my mind. So, if I'm going to stay at the top of this confederation, I have to appear strong.' Ricky reasoned. Taking a small breath, he straightened to his full 6'2" height, and, puffing out his lanky chest as best he could, walked in right after Chrysalis.
The room itself was dead silent, just like the first time. Chrysalis, dead to everything around her, quickly moved to her seat, while Ricky strode purposefully to his, a small grin affixed to his face, radiating the aura of a confident man. He eased himself into the chair before observing his colleagues.
Sombra sat in the corner, hunched over a box of... 'Krispy Kreme donuts!' Ricky cried out internally as his stomach rumbled quietly. Despite the entrance of his colleagues, he was too busy practically inhaling donuts to notice.
Discord was staring at Ricky, slightly impressed with his bearing. Other than that, he was the normal old Discord - if you can even call him normal, that is. Tirek was much the same, as the only indication he gave of their entrance was that his hooded head inclined slightly before looking back down at the table.
“So, we’re all here now. Progress report,” Discord said in a serious tone, before immediately throwing that pretense away by spawning in a clipboard while adopting a goofy tone. “So, who’s first?”
“I guess it’s me.” Ricky sighed resignedly, placing the palms of his hands flat on the dark wood of the table, trying to silently summon the will to speak. Once he did, he started.
“Well, I guess my job so far was to muster up some armies from the depths of Hell, and so far, the 42nd “Rainbow Division, armed with guns and artillery, the Grossdeutschland Regiment, a strike force with even more advanced equipment and guns, and Legio V Alaudae, armed with swords, are now under our command.”
Discord scribbled furiously, before looking up at Ricky and nodding with a small smile. Then, he turned to Tirek, who simply said, “Doing what I’ve always been doing,” he said dismissively. Apparently, this was good enough for Discord, who next looked at Chrysalis. She, however, wasn’t paying any attention, still staring with blank eyes. Discord spawned in an alphorn, and, setting down the long wooden tube on the floor, bellowed out a long, low note so loud that Ricky, along with the others, had to clap their hands over their ears, trying to save their hearing. Chrysalis snapped out of her trance, yelping as she clasped her hooves over her ears to try and block out the alphorn. After the ringing note had died away into silence, Chrysalis brought her hooves down slowly. Discord looked at her with a grin, before repeating his earlier question. “Progress report?”
“Oh, well, I’ve had the Changelings prepare some supply dumps for the army when it gets there. Stocks of wheat and some meats are being salted and prepared as we speak. Also had to play babysitter for a certain someone,” she glanced at Ricky purposefully at those last words.
“Good, good.” Discord said as he kept writing, before turning to the last one, Sombra. He was too preoccupied eating donuts to listen or notice anyone, instead savoring his glazy goodness by himself.
“God damnit Sombra, MORE donuts!!! Are you serious?!” Discord shouted, obviously fed up with Sombra’s shit.
“One does not simply resist the sweet and savory call of donuts,” Sombra replied with a sagely nod.
“Ugh, what did you do these past few days?” Ricky groaned.
“Eat donuts. Pretty much it.” Sombra shrugged his massive withers nonchalantly.
“Dude, seriously? Why don’t you like, work out or something?”
“Why work out when you can eat donuts?”
“Auggh!!! Seriously man, put the donuts DOWN.”
“No! Mine!” Sombra played keep-away from Ricky, protecting his donuts by holding them close to his chest while turning in his seat to face his back to Ricky.
“Ugh, fine. Be that way!” Ricky threw his hands up in frustration and anger. Then, he snapped his head around to Discord. “So, is this meeting over?”
“Pretty much.”
“Good. Now, where can I find a bed? I’m drop-dead tired,” Ricky said, and he looked the part. His eyes were developing bags, his black hair was unkempt and greasy, and he was looking paler than he had earlier.
“Upstairs. You know, something cool about here is that…” Discord started, but Ricky cut him off with a wave of his hand. “Yeah, that’s cool and stuff… good night,” was all he said as the teen left the room to go climb the staircase on one side of the building. Discord groaned as he spawned a gavel and, grabbing it in his magic, he said tiredly, “Meeting is adjourned.” The gavel slammed down.
Upstairs…
Ricky closed the door to his room, before actually turning around to look at it. ‘Not much, but it’ll do,’ he thought as he took in the dark room around him.
A small bed sat in the corner, with a nightstand off to one side. Other than that, the room was pretty bare, the drab colors adding to the gloominess. Ricky took off his sneakers and socks, before flopping onto the bed. As was his custom, he fell asleep almost immediately, fading into a dreamless sleep.
When he woke, Ricky felt the best he’d ever had since being here. He hopped out of bed, grab his shoes and socks, and walked back downstairs into the main hall. Not knowing where anyone was, he decided on an early breakfast. It took him longer than he would have liked to find the eating hall, but find it he did. Going to the far end, he managed to find a cupboard stocked with items. Ricky picked his favorite: a bagel. Sadly, he couldn’t find any cream cheese, so he would have to do without.
Sitting at the bench with his breakfast, Ricky silently took a few bites out of it, noticing the coarse quality of grain that the bread must have been made from. ‘Note for later: tell Caesar that a proper mill would be nice,’ he thought as he munched away. All too soon, his hand was empty, and Ricky decided to try and find everyone.
Leaving the dining hall, Ricky found himself confronted by a green flash, blindingly close to him. Throwing up his arms to ward off the light until it passed, which it soon did, he was greeted by Chrysalis, who, upon spotting Ricky not feet away from her, ran up to Ricky and started violently shaking him. For some reason, Ricky felt the strangest sense of deja vu.
… Oh yeah, that’s why.
“What did I do wrong this time?” Ricky asked, a mixture of honest exasperation and joking sarcasm. But this time, he noticed something… different. Instead of anger, there was only fear and urgency in Chrysalis’ eyes.
“Need your help, quick!” That was all Ricky would get before his entire world was engulfed in a sea of green, and a sensation began spreading to every bone and muscle in Ricky’s body. It was the feeling of becoming elastic, like when you have to squeeze to get through something really tight. Just when the feeling came to the threshold of pain, it suddenly stopped, and the green seeping through Ricky’s jammed shut eyelids ceased. When he opened them, what he saw was astonishing, to him at least. Sombra had grown to at least ten times his size, seemingly bickering with an enraged Discord.
“Awright, what the fuck happened?” Ricky asked, having the feeling he wasn’t going to like what he heard much.
“Discord basically tried to reinforce what you said yesterday during the meeting, and Sombra refused, and from there it’s basically escalated into a shouting match,” Chrysalis said. Ricky sighed, but before he could articulate a beautiful piece of speech mostly featuring the word FUCK, he heard a giant crash from far in the distance, and both Changeling and Scot turned to look at what had just happened. What they saw bewildered them.
A donut shop the size of a Kmart or Walmart was now sitting where the verbal fight between Sombra and Discord had taken place, and Discord was shouting at it so loud they could hear it, about a football field away.
“Fine! I’ll get Ricky, and when I do, I swear, I will blow this place sky-bucking-high!” He then whizzed over to the two bewildered and also hysterically laughing partners, glaring at Ricky fiercely before snapping his fingers violently. Ricky’s helmet suddenly appeared on top of Ricky’s head, but, somehow, it was really light for its massive size. ‘Stupid magic, probably,’ he thought tiredly.
“Ricky, bring the army! We’ve got a rebellion to repress!” Discord rambled as Ricky tried to adjust his helmet, while also fumbling with the battery in his pocket, trying to pull it out. Discord began to tap his foot impatiently, which quickly became almost infuriatingly annoying.
Ricky pulled out his battery as soon as his patience snapped, and he made to throw it at him. “Can you not!!! God damn!” He held the battery towards Discord, but instead of taking it, Discord pushed it back towards him. Discord pointed towards a hole right front and center of the helmet. Ricky, getting the idea, inserted the battery into the hole, which fit in with a small click.
“It’ll work now. Just press the button and input a voice command, and they’ll spawn in here.”
“Okay, here goes…” Hesitantly, Ricky reached out and pressed the button on his helmet. Instantly, a… familiar voice graced Ricky’s ears.
“Hello, sir. May I request identification?”
“Wait, JARVIS?!” Ricky realized, recognizing the elegant, almost butler-like tone of voice immediately.
“Yes, although I could hardly guess how you know me. Now, some identification, if you please.” JARVIS replied.
“Ricky Welfork.”
“Ok, I’ll put that in the database, and… there, all set. Now, what army or armies would you like?”
“Hmm… Let’s roll with the 42nd Rainbow and Legio V, shall we?”
“Yes sir. Just a second.” After a few seconds, a great flash suddenly engulfed the plain around the group, and when it faded, Roman legionnaires and doughboys alike began to shout in confusion and mild panic as the situation they had been just getting used to, which was fusion into a different Hell, suddenly changed again.
‘Speaking of which, I haven’t actually seen any ponies so far,’ Ricky mused as he spotted two figures worming their way though the chaos. Ricky smiled. ‘This’ll be good.’
Eventually, two men stood in front of Ricky, at attention. One he recognized, Douglas MacArthur. The other was the commander of Legio V, Ricky assumed.
Close-cropped light blond hair topped a tall man, standing near a full seven feet tall, almost impossible for a Roman. His soft hazel eyes betrayed the permanent scowl, damn near glare at everything, seemingly the world itself.
Ricky already liked this guy, just by looking at him. He radiated the aura of quick, yet not impulsive decisions, as well as a knowledge of how to win. In many ways, they were quite alike.
“Hello, commander.” His tone was brisk, yet warm, not showing any signs of insubordination. Ricky smiled a little. This was a true Roman, disciplined to the point of unthinkingness.
“Hello, my good man. May I get a name?”
“The name’s Decius. And, before you say anything, yes, I know I’m too tall for a Roman.”
“You know, it’s probably a good thing. Ricky, of the Welfork clan. I’m assuming you lead these fine men?”
Decius snorted in derision. “Fine might be a bit much, but I’ve tried to whip them into the best damn legion here, and they’re pretty ferocious fighters. Oh, that one’s a good story.”
“Well,” Ricky said, trying to drive the conversation back on track, now talking to both commanders, “can we get the men in order? We’ll talk about formations as we get to our objective,” he stated. Both men briskly saluted before departing to go and rally the troops.
One Hour Later…
The army had formed into a semblance of battle order, and marched the mile or so to the area just in front of the massive donut shop. Ricky had ordered all his troops into his battle formation.
The 42nd was stretching in a 1-man thin line to Ricky’s front. Their artillery pieces were on the flanks of this line, and Legio V was in reserve behind the Americans, waiting to close to hand-to-hand combat.
“Time to Braveheart-speech this shit!” Ricky thought aloud as he made his way to the very front of the army, mere yards of sun-and-lava-baked dirt from two of the armies of antiquity. And, thus, with this in mind, he began his speech to the assembled near 25,000 soldiers.
(listen for effect)
“Soldiers! Men! Fellow comrades! Today, before us, stands a great test. One of the most powerful people in this hellhole has rebelled against a great cause! Do we let insubordination stand in our way! Do we, soldiers?!” A “NO!” was collectively shouted back as a reply.
“You know, Scotland has a great tradition of warriors. We used to be feared and respected by all! Now, under a Scottish leader, I want you all to be reborn as Scots, and just as feared and respected by ALL!” A small cheer went up. But this was just the beginning.
“But, first, you must prove yourselves to your fellow men, before all! I have no fear that any of you will fail this test, ordained and set by all, God, Jupiter, and fellow man! Now, if you stand with me until your last breath, I will do the same for you! Prove yourselves to all, my fellow comrades, fellow soldiers, fellow men, and let the earth quake and shake with your war paean!!!”
A near-deafening chant began to rise from the Roman ranks after the initial ear-splitting cheer: the war paean to Mercury. With the centurions leading the melodic line and the tribunes leading the choral hymn, it was spot-on. While the choir ebbed and swelled, Ricky found MacArthur observing his men.
“When the legion begins to bang their weapons and make a lot of noise, I want you to get the artillery to fire right at the door.” MacArthur nodded and got two couriers to carry the message to both of the batteries.
The paean began to enter the closing crescendo, and Ricky simply closed his eyes and took it all in. The last note hit, gloriously ringing in the hot day (as usual). As the legionnaires began to bang their gladii against their shields, Ricky opened his eyes again, wanting to see what was about to happen.
The sudden discharge of all the artillery pieces shocked the Romans into silence, watching in awe as shells began to strike the wall, which quickly crumbled. Everyone cheered, the legionnaires beginning to bang their weapons again. The smoke and dust thrown up by the rubble cleared a bit, letting Ricky and the rest of the troops see just what was advancing out.
Donut men. Donuts, the same size as normal men, and sporting human arms and legs, began to pour out of the breach in the wall and run like mad towards the army of Hell. The men began to shift uneasily, not expecting this. ‘Magic!’ Ricky thought as he ran down the line, trying to encourage his men. “Come on boys! Don’t waver now!”
The men seemed to take heart, straightening back up and standing firm. Ricky got right behind the line of Americans and continued to run behind it. “Alright, boys! Show them your steel! Stand, and DELIVER!”
CRRAKCRAKCRAKCRAKCRAKCRAKCRAKcrakcrak...
Stats
Page generated in 0.034 seconds
Total duration
1,025 users online
1,890,023 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Yay! An update! :D
5231512 Finally, someone decided to comment.
I have to say I am on the doughnuts side right now...doughnuts are life.
Loved this chapter. Sombra made me laugh, which I haven't for a while. :D
It's pretty solid. I'm kindof wondering what's going on with Chrysalis. I would probably have done the same thing as Sombra, though I do love a good Roman Legion...
Only complaint is the F word. I don't mind any other swear word being used to much, but the F word pushes it with me.
But other than that, AWESOME! Can't wait for the next chapter! Keep it up!
Sorry I haven't been on for a while, got busy with college stuff.
5310760 Thanks bro! About using the f-word though, what do you think a teenage Scot would say otherwise? Love to hear a suggestion if ou had one!y
5313083 Very true. I don't really know. Just my personal preference really. :)
Keep up the good work! Looking forward to part 2 of the doughnuts!
5321342 I'll see what I can do to limit it. Next chapter should actually be out either today or tomorrow!
Two fine chapters once again and it's good to see the Americans and the Romans in action. I hope the next chapter will be out soon.
Doughnuts Vs Doughboys