• Published 1st Jul 2014
  • 3,107 Views, 359 Comments

Foal Fever - Distaff Pope

With a filly on the way, Vinyl's started dreaming about her glory days as Equestria's premier DJ. A mysterious potion offers her a chance to feel young again, and with Vinyl's youth restored, Octavia's pregnancy is suddenly a lot

  • ...

10. Drunk on Life (Vinyl)

“So, Vinyl, what took you out of the spotlight for so long?” Clubber asked as I took another gulp of what must’ve been my fourth beer since the show. “I actually started thinking you had retired, like so many DJs do.” She rolled her eyes. “They have their fun in their twenties, but then around thirty they all settle down, get sensible jobs, get married, and have a few foals. Could there be anything duller?”

I laughed. “Kind of funny you mention that, because I did get a boring job, got married, and I have a filly on the way. It’s… yeah, it’s pretty dull, and that’s why I’m back here, to show the world that I still kick all kinds of flank.”

She purred and inched ever closer to me. “Well, you certainly impressed me, but then, I’ve been a fan of yours since I was a filly. Just seeing you was a dream come true; actually being able to listen to your performance…” I saw a shiver run up her spine, and I felt a tingling warmth spread across my body. “Not much could make me happier.”

No, I thought, I love Tavi, and even if Clubber is super attractive and fun, that doesn’t mean I could just cheat on Tavi. “Well, like I said earlier, I’m a married mare,” I said, laughing nervously.

“Oh, I remember,” she said, getting close enough to lean next to me and let me feel the warmth coming from her own body. It was… it was very nice, but I couldn’t just cheat on Tavi. Although… I felt the familiar sting of anger, I wouldn’t even be having these thoughts if she could have just been a little bit supportive. Instead, she had to get all uptight and piss me off. Yeah, I wasn’t going to cheat on her, but I could still enjoy the company of another mare for an evening, and if there was some light touching, then that was on Tavi.

Clubber smiled at me and rested her head on my neck. I could’ve pushed her off, but I didn’t. “I’m not asking you to leave her, and like I said earlier, I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do.” She giggled. “I just want to spend time with you.”

Well, it’s not like spending time with a fan ever hurt anypony, and I was a mature adult, I wasn’t going to do something dumb just because a beautiful mare was throwing herself at me… even if it would be really fun, and Tavi would probably never find out about it. I smiled at Clubber Lane. “Well, I’m always happy to spend time with one of my fans. Especially one who’s been looking forward to seeing me for so–”

I was cut off as I felt a hoof on my back. I turned around to see Strobe Light standing behind me. “I see you’ve met my daughter already, Vinyl. She was always a fanfilly of yours, and I suppose I might have given you a slot here partly so she could see you perform. Thankfully, you were far better than I expected, and I’m happy to say that if you ever want to perform here again, we can make an opening.”

“Uhmm, thanks,” I said, looking between him and Clubber. “So… you didn’t tell me your dad ran the club.”

She shrugged. “I said I got free drinks and I didn’t like bringing that up. I’m just a normal mare, you know?”

I nodded and looked back at Strobe Light. “Well, I have to get back to work,” he said. “You two have fun, and try to make my daughter happy, Vinyl.” Strobe gave me a wink at that as he walked back to his office. Did I get that right? Did he just give me permission to sleep with his daughter, a mare almost half my age? Like, I’m no prude, and if I wasn’t married, I would probably would’ve gone back to her place already, but seriously? I thought most parents wouldn’t approve of sleeping with a pony almost twice their age.

“Daddy’s pretty awesome,” Clubber said, almost reading my mind. “Ever since Mom left us, he just wants me to be happy. I couldn’t ask for a better dad.”

“Yeah, sure sounds cool,” I said, feeling a nervous laugh escape my throat. I was here with a mare half my age (kind of sort of), my wife was in another city entirely and probably really worried about me, I had a filly on the way, and… maybe this whole thing was a bad idea. I felt a heat pressed against my neck as Clubber moved to kiss me, and I felt my worries melt away. So Octavia was in another city, and we were fighting, it was all her fault anyways. Maybe she deserved it. I mean, if she could just be fun and cool, we wouldn’t be having this fight. Instead, I was in Canterlot, a beautiful mare was throwing herself at me, and…

“You should have another beer,” Clubber said, gesturing to the several empty bottles on the counter. “It would be a shame if you wasted free booze.”

“I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head. “I’ve already had a few drinks, and I don’t want to get so drunk I can’t find my way back to the hotel.”

Her horn lit up and several more beers floated towards me. “Come on, I can walk you back to wherever you want to go. What’s the point of being young if you don’t enjoy all it has to offer?”

That… she made a lot of sense, I thought as I grabbed one of the beers with my own magic. A few beers wouldn’t hurt anypony, and I was having fun. “Alright,” I said, pouring the contents of the first beer down my throat. The night was young, there was a super-sexy mare who would do anything I wanted leaning against me, and I had free beer. It would be a shame to waste all of that. Once I get Tavi to drink that potion, I’m sure she’ll understand. I’ll tell her about tonight after she gets to be young again.

I quickly downed another beer as Clubber wrapped a foreleg around me and pulled me close to her. Her fur felt nice against mine, and yeah… alcohol, sexy mares, maybe Tavi could join us and then the three of us… I laughed out loud. That was silly, how could Tavi even find us? She was probably still in Ponyville worrying about me. Tomorrow morning, I would go back to Ponyville, apologize for getting mad, and then work on figuring out how she could drink the potion. It would be so fun once I got that stick out of her ass. Then she could come to my shows in Canterlot and…

“You don’t look so good,” Clubber said before pressing her lips against my cheek. “What do you say we have one more beer and then get you home?”

“That… that sounds good,” I said, fumbling at the beer with my magic before laughing. “I think I’m drunk.”

“Hey, I always say that waking up with a hangover is a sign of a really good night. Waking up with a hangover in a stranger’s bed is my sign for a great night,” she said, pulling me towards the door as I finished off my last beer. That did sound like a fun night and… No, I couldn’t cheat on Tavi, even if I wanted to, and even if she was being a boring stick in the mud, I wasn’t going to… she didn’t deserve that. But then, Clubber was here, and I could feel her lips pressing against my cheek and neck, while she rubbed her flank against mine, and it felt so nice. I dimly struggled to recall why Tavi would be upset with me for sleeping with her… Clubber, I mean. It was bad for some reason, but it would be fun and we were heading to her house, and why not, right? She couldn’t be that upset, right? I slowly turned to meet my lips with hers as I felt a warmth run up my body. It was fun, who could be against fun?

“Glad to see you’re coming around,” she said as we walked down unfamiliar streets. This wasn’t the way to the hotel, but I was having fun, and that was good and… I heard the sound of hooves on cobblestone. That was funny, three ponies who looked almost exactly like Bon-Bon, Moldy, and Lyra were heading towards us. I smiled and waved a hoof at them before losing my balance and falling on my face.

“Ow,” I said as Clubber helped me get back on my hooves. I laughed a little and leaned against her for support. “Thanks, babe. You… heh, you really helped me out.” I gave her a quick kiss to show my appreciation before the Bon-Bon looking pony started screaming.

“Vinyl Scratch! You have a pregnant wife, what do you think you are doing? And…” She paused as she got closer to me. “You reek of alcohol, just how much have you drunk tonight?” So, if she knew my name it was probably actual Bon-Bon, and that meant actual Lyra and actual Moldy were with her. Cool.

“Hey girls, what… what are you doing here? Did you come to see my show?”

“No,” Bon-Bon said as Lyra and Moldy caught up with her. “We came here because Octavia, your very pregnant wife, was worried something terrible had happened to you. We finally find you and it turns out you’re absolutely drunk and about to make out with some mare you barely know.”

I staggered towards Bon-Bon. “I know Clubber, she’s this super fun sexy mare whose dad owns the club I played at. It turns out she’s a really big fan of mine.”

Lyra and Bon-Bon groaned. “She’s back to wanting to date fanfillies, because of course she is,” Bon-Bon said.

Clubber spoke up to try and say something, but was shushed by Bon-Bon. “We need to think, dear, and if we need your input, we’ll–”

“We do not understand,” Moldy said, looking between Clubber and me. “Beyond the immediate problems of seeking romantic entanglement with ponies other than her wife, what is particularly problematic about her dating fanfillies?”

“Because,” Lyra said, “Vinyl used to be totally into that when she was younger. Fanfillies represent fun, meaningless, empty sex where Vinyl has all the power.” She pointed a hoof at Clubber. “This mare’s going to do pretty much whatever Vinyl asks to make her happy, and that just makes Vinyl a worse pony.”

“Hey!” I shouted.

“Sorry,” Lyra said, shrugging at me, “I know you don’t want to hear this, but when you were dating a fan you were kind of sort of a worse version of you. You drank way way more, you only really left your house or hotel room to go to a show, and you freaked out whenever a pony tried to criticize you because you had a mare convincing you you were perfect. They bring out your worst qualities.”

“I have to agree with Lyra,” Bon-Bon said, taking a step towards her wife. “You mellowed out a bit before you met Tavi, but spending time dealing with her and the insanity that came with her first months in town really forced you to be a better pony. My wife’s general idiocy has completely undone all of that though and then some.” She turned her head to look at Clubber. “Dear, there is a very angry pony coming who has a history of punching things she dislikes hard in the face. I would advise you to run.”

Clubber looked between me and the empty street. “Hey Vinyl, it was fun and we should totally hang out again some time when you can get away from your ‘friends.’ See you later.” I stumbled towards her to give her a good night kiss but before I could, she had darted down a nearby alley. I tried to turn back to face my three friends and ask why they had to ruin my night but only managed to fall back down on the cobblestone, and this time there were no hooves to pick me up. I rolled over to look at the sky.

“The stars are nice out tonight,” I said as I saw my friends move over to look down at me. “You should look up at them, not much going on down here but ground.” I burped and felt a little bit of vomit come up my throat.

“She’s about to pass out, isn’t she?” Bon-Bon asked, looking from me to Lyra. Lyra just nodded.

“So…” I said, belching again. “Did Tavi come with you? Because I really want to talk to her. Do… do you think we can give her some of the age potion? Because I feel like…” I gestured my hoof in the air. “I feel like she would have a lot of fun with it.”

Bon-Bon just sighed and shook her head. “You two can have that conversation in the morning. I know she has a lot she wants to talk to you about. But for now, just get some sleep, we’ll see you home safely.”

I nodded at her and smiled as I felt Lyra’s magic wrap around my body and lift me on to Bon-Bon’s back. Hopefully, tomorrow we could apologize and make up and have everything be good again. All I wanted was for her to support me.

Author's Note:

Almost a third of the way done! I'll see you tomorrow.

Say it with me now: Edited by the wonderful EquesTRON