• Published 1st Jul 2014
  • 3,048 Views, 359 Comments

Foal Fever - Distaff Pope

With a filly on the way, Vinyl's started dreaming about her glory days as Equestria's premier DJ. A mysterious potion offers her a chance to feel young again, and with Vinyl's youth restored, Octavia's pregnancy is suddenly a lot

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14. Date Night (Vinyl)

“So anyways, I’m sorry for wishing that you signed that contract. Well, technically, I wished that you had signed the contract, which probably explains how it was pre-signed, but anyways. I kind of feel terrible about that,” Lyra said, taking a sip of her soup. She’d been visiting for the last few hours and just gotten around to admitting her role in the last few days.

“It’s fine,” I said, shrugging before lifting the soup bowl up to my lips and guzzling it down – it was good, why shouldn’t I guzzle it? I mean, no point wasting time taking little tiny baby sips. “Glad you did, because being young again is super awesome. In fact…” An idea entered my head involving the monkey’s paw, the potion, and Octavia. Probably shouldn’t go mentioning that to Lyra though. She would probably freak out about that. I shook my head. “Nevermind, just a dumb little thought. Can’t even figure out how to put it.”

“Really?” Lyra asked, raising an eyebrow. “‘Cause you’re normally pretty good about describing your emotions and stuff. I mean, not super, but it’s not like you have a hard time saying what you’re feeling. Also, you have something on your muzzle.”

“I know,” I said, wiping the soup off my muzzle with a napkin Woodhoof had provided. “You didn’t have to get on my case about it.” It was… her comments about me being a worse pony from a few days ago still bugged me. I mean, how could she say that to her best friend? I’m an awesome pony, no matter what I do… although I guess I could understand some of her point, my behavior was a bit more erratic before Tavi, but that was only because I was free to do whatever I wanted. With her, I had to ask what she wanted or risk her getting super pissed at me, which… neither of those sounded fun, even though, I mean, I still loved her, she was just really fussy. Maybe once I wished she drank the potion, she would be better.

“Hey, Lyra, how exactly does that monkey’s paw of yours work?” I asked, smiling at her and hoping her desire to talk about her latest interest would outweigh whatever caution she had.

“Well,” she said, practically beaming at the chance to talk about her work, “it follows the exact wording of your wish and really doesn’t care much about the spirit. If there is any loophole in it that it can exploit, it will, so you need to make sure your wishes are ironclad or already kind of bad from the start.”

“What do you mean by that ‘kind of bad’ thing?” I asked, feeling my forehead wrinkle.

“See, the monkey’s paw is one of Discord’s old toys, so it wants to create chaos, and if a wish gives it the chance to, it won’t really care about corrupting it too much. If it takes away from the total amount of harmony in Equestria, it’s happy, or as happy as an enchanted monkey’s paw can be. I haven’t really researched the level of intelligence behind it.”

“Cool,” I said nodding my head and not really listening to her anymore. Wishing that Tavi drank the potion would probably reduce the amount of harmony in Equestria, and assuming I slapped on a clause that our daughter wasn’t affected, well that should fix everypony’s problems. It would be a great gift for her really. I mean, her childhood was so crap, she could use a redo, and we could redo it together. And we could do it together. “Sounds fun.”

Lyra and Bon-Bon didn’t lock their doors most nights, so it would be pretty easy to sneak into their basement, grab the paw, make my wish, and sneak back out. The hard part would be getting there tonight without waking Tavi… or maybe it wouldn’t. I mean, if I slept in the nursery, then I could probably slip out in the middle of the night; and if I didn’t, then that would mean we had patched things up, and Tavi would probably be exhausted, making sneaking out only a bit more challenging. Either way, I was young and nimble while Tavi was… well, she was pretty young still, but definitely not nimble.

I smiled at Lyra and made some more small talk, swishing my tail impatiently and waiting for Tavi to get back.


“Terribly sorry for the delay Vinyl, I got roped into a rather lengthy conversation about all your youthful exploits while talking with your parents. They had quite a few tales to tell,” Tavi said as she walked back into our house. “Then of course, I had to make my way back home, and that took far longer than I would’ve liked.” She sighed and took a seat next to me. “Also, why are you downstairs? I distinctly remember telling you to stay upstairs.”

“Yeah,” I said, shrugging, “but Woodhoof figured it would be okay for me to stay down here under his supervision, and if you’ll notice he and Lyra are still supervising.” I pointed at the two ponies, both currently occupied with cleaning up the dishes.

Her eyes narrowed for a second before quickly going back to normal. “Well,” she said, trying hard not to show her frustration. If I wasn’t married to her, it might’ve worked, “I will defer to Woodhoof’s good judgment. Now, I promised us a date night before I left this morning, did I not?”

I nodded my head enthusiastically. “Any chance said date night ends with the two of us sharing a bed?” I raised an eyebrow at her, and she just smiled.

“That depends on a great multitude of circumstances, your good behavior being one of the more important ones. If I can clearly see you are the same Vinyl I married, I might consider it.”

“Well, I mean, I can go get my ID from upstairs,” I said, getting up on my hooves and grinning at her.. “If that’s all it will take, we can get that knocked out right now.”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” she said, her earlier smile evaporating. “You can say you are you all you want, but since you drank the potion, you haven’t been acting like the pony I married.”

I opened my mouth to say something dashingly witty and clever, but she cut me off. “No, you haven’t been acting like a better version of yourself either. You’ve been acting like a teenager, which I suppose is understandable since it’s what you turned yourself into. Show me you can be more than that and we can continue the romantic nature of our relationship. Does that sound agreeable?”

“Sure,” I said, shrugging. “I get that I’ve been… a bit off the last few days, but you know, I’ve been better today. Just ask Woodhoof or Lyra.”

Lyra nodded at that. “She really hasn’t done anything recklessly stupid. Well, not today at least. Or yesterday, unless we found her after midnight.”

“Thank you, Lyra,” Tavi said, grimacing as Lyra referenced Clubber Lane. I kind of found myself shocked that I had gone with her, I must’ve had… just… at least ten beers, I realized as I struggled to recall the night. Maybe that had compromised my judgment ever so slightly. Meanwhile, Clubber couldn’t have had more than three, which yeah, I guess that’s kind of not great sounding. If I didn’t know better, I would say she was trying to manipulate me, but then, she’d also said she wasn’t going to force me to do anything I didn’t want to do, and I didn’t really stop her, did I? Or even move to stop her. Instead, I was just– I shook my head. Wasn’t important, what was important was that I didn’t do anything too terrible and that I was back with Tavi, and that meant I could still make the most important relationship in my life work.

“Yeah, thanks,” I said, looking at Lyra. “It was real fun having you over today. Can’t believe you took a day off work just to visit me.”

“Well,” Lyra said as she put the last of the dishes up. “Tavi was pretty insistent that you have somepony to watch over you all day, and she didn’t want–”

“Yes, thank you, Lyra,” Tavi said, cutting her off. “You’ve been of such help the last few days, but don’t you have some other work you have to do? Work involving–”

“Potion analysis!” she said, running out towards door while Woodhoof headed towards his basement room. “Yes, thank you for reminding me Tavi. Twilight sent me her notes this morning and they are absolutely fascinating. I want to start poring over them as soon as possible.” She stopped at the door. “Oh! If I could get my hooves on a sample in the next few days, that would be really cool too. I could start seeing how it worked and… Anyways, I will see you all later. You should come over for dinner tomorrow, we would love to have you.” Before we could say anything else, she ran out the door, giggling excitedly about the notes.

“So, you have Lyra searching for a way to reverse the potion even though I told you I’m completely happy with my decision?” Well, mostly happy, but I didn’t want to give Tavi’s any more ammo she could use against me.

“I do,” Octavia said, maintaining eye contact as she spoke. “I’m not going to force you to take whatever cure we devise, but I would prefer to have the option available in case you change your mind. I was hoping I could be the pony to break the news to you, but it seems Lyra can’t keep a secret to save her life.”

“Yeah, she gets talkative when she gets excited and when that happens, she forgets there are things she shouldn’t talk about. It’s pretty much just pure stream of consciousness with her then,” I said, scooting closer to my wife.

“I’m well aware,” she said. “Merely wondering why I would ever think that mare could keep a secret for any length of time. I blame the stresses of the last few days.”

“Well,” I said, resting my head against her shoulder. “Let’s see about de-stressing you. What are our plans for dinner?”

Tavi frowned. “I had planned for us to go out to a nice restaurant, but the idea of being seen with a mare who looks like a teenager, even though I know most of the ponies in town will recognize us, is something I am still having trouble with. Would you be at all amenable to having one of our combined practices?”

“You mean jam sessions?” I asked, making sure. “Yeah, we can do that, but I’d enjoy it if we can do some boring talky stuff too.”

“Really?” Tavi said, raising an eyebrow. “I would have thought ‘boring talky stuff,’ or conversation as most ponies call it, would be anathema to you.”

“Yeah, well, you said you wanted to see that I’m still me, and I guess us talking about stuff would be a good way of showing that.” I frowned, actually feeling the tiniest bit of guilt for springing all this on Tavi without informing her. Then, considering what I had planned tonight, I might as well give her one last good day of boring stuff before she had a chance to relive her life without all the bad bits. Obviously, once she drank the potion, she would see why it was so awesome, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t make her happy now. Also, if I made her happy enough, I wouldn’t have to sleep in the nursery anymore.

“Besides,” I continued, “I know I haven’t really done much to make you happy with me the last few days, and I figure I should start trying to undo that. You’re right, I need to show you that underneath my sleeker, younger exterior, I’m still the same Vinyl Scratch.”

She smiled and leaned down to kiss my forehead. “That sentence alone goes a long way towards assuaging my doubts, Vinyl, now is there anything in particular you wish to discuss?”

“Not really,” I said, enjoying the lingering sensation her lips left upon my forehead. “I just, you know, want to talk with you. Don’t really care what it’s about.”

“Ah,” she said, draping a foreleg over my shoulders. “If you insist on leaving the onus of responsibility on me, then I’d like to talk about why you decided that drinking this potion was a good idea. What is so important to you about being young again? Please, speak freely, I just want to understand your decision-making process.”

“You sure this won’t end with you getting upset with me for something I already did?”

Tavi laughed. “Vinyl, after the past few days, I highly doubt there is anything you could do to particularly upset me.” I laughed with her while I thought of what I had planned for tonight. That bit of news might upset her. At least, it would until she realized how awesome my gift to her was, then we’d probably spend the next two days in bed celebrating.

“You know,” I said, trying to answer her question, “I always prided myself for being on the cutting edge of Equestria’s music scene. I was there, I was leading the charge, playing the hottest artists and making mixes of my own. That was me, that was who I wanted to be, and then you reminded me that I just wasn’t that mare anymore. I wasn’t on the front lines, and when I did perform, I played for ponies who probably wouldn’t know a song written in the last ten years if it was right in front of them. Then I realized the only active musician I really knew was Sweetie Belle, and she mostly just sings showtunes and covers songs that were out before my mom was born. At some point, I turned into a mare I didn’t recognize, and that terrifies me.”

My wife gave me her best reassuring smile and stroked my mane with one hoof. “Vinyl Scratch, I love you, but you can be a spectacular idiot at times.” I felt my hackles raise at that part and got ready to defend myself. “Next time you start worrying about such things, talk to me, and I will help you. There’s no need for you to take such drastic options.”

“Yeah,” I said, pressing my head against her warm fur as the tension drained from both of us, “maybe I was a bit impulsive, but it’s not at all terrible, is it?”

Tavi sighed loudly. “Now that our relationship is beginning to reach a new equilibrium, I suppose I’m not as opposed to the arrangement as I initially feared. Now if I can just find a way to quiet the voice in my head that is worried about what will happen to my reputation if I am seen with a teenager. In Ponyville it wouldn’t be too terrible, since everypony here knows us already, and a mare overdosing herself on a youth potion is hardly the strangest thing to ever happen in this town; but in Canterlot or Manehattan, or wherever we will do your shows… well, I’d rather not be ostracized by all of Equestria.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as I thought of my plan for later. “I’m sure you will find a solution.” I pressed my lips against the back of her neck, just above her collar. “And I’m happy we aren’t fighting anymore. You are way better than club ponies, although it wouldn’t hurt if you were a bit more fun.”

She scoffed. “I am plenty fun, Vinyl, I just don’t think fun involves going to an overpacked club and listening to music, unless I’m doing so to support my wife, in which case I am more than happy to go.” Tavi pulled me tight against her. “You were right about one thing, Vinyl; you are a wonderful DJ, and it would be a shame if the world lost that. I promise that no matter what happens, we will find a way to get you playing more.”

“You’re not just humoring me because we are married?” I asked as I felt a warmth coming from her. Ooh, if things kept going like this, we would be hopping into bed soon, and that would be pretty damned awesome. The best part about her being pregnant is that once she gets in the right mood, there is no saying ‘no’ to her, and that means the two of us spend the next few hours wrapped around each other in bed. To put a bit more fire in that engine, I moved in front of her and pressed our lips together. I felt her give a happy little moan as lust began to bubble up inside of me. “See,” I said as I pulled away from her, “I’m still the same Vinyl Scratch. The only difference is that I can keep up with you.”

“I… I shouldn’t,” she said slowly. “You still look like a teenager and what if… my haste permanently alters our relationship in a way I didn’t earlier expect.” She bit her lip, a pained look in her eye. “Having said that, you do seem remarkably like your old self, perhaps–”

I cut her off by running a hoof down her underside, sending a shiver up her spine. “We’re married. We love each other. Screw what other ponies think. I promise that even if I go back to normal, I won’t think any less of you for this. You trust me, right?”

She nodded slowly at me. “You have been acting rather like your old self. I suppose my earlier fears about you being a completely different pony were somewhat unfounded. You might be a bit more temperamental and volatile, but underneath all that, you’re still the pony I married, aren’t you?”

“‘Course,” I said, nodding my head and smiling at her as I pulled her up on her hooves. “Still the same awesome pony as before, although now I’m way younger, and you got to admit, I look better.”

She smiled and leaned in to nibble at my ear. “I’ve found myself admiring your flank more these past few days, and the curve on your neck...” Tavi drew me towards her violently. “You don’t know how often I’ve found myself wishing you were back to normal these past few days so I didn’t have to feel so guilty about wanting you, well that, and I wished you’d stop acting like a foal. But now…” Her breath was hot on my ear. “You’re right, you are still you. Still my wife, and I love you, and I want you more than I have ever wanted a pony in my life. To feel your tongue against–” A violent shiver ran up her spine and her eyes went unfocused.

Oh, she was so absolutely irresistably hot when her reserves finally cracked. I mean, she was beautiful the rest of the time, sure, but when that hungry need entered her eyes, I always felt my knees wobble a bit, eagerly awaiting the sensation of her tongue darting into my–

“Vinyl,” she said, staring at me with eyes that spoke of raw physical need. “What do you say we continue this conversation in our room?” She spoke as if it was a challenge to string words together properly, but somehow she managed, and I quickly nodded my head as we darted off upstairs to hopefully screw until we couldn’t stand anymore.


Several incredibly fun hours later, I had reached the conclusion that pregnancy hormones were almost as awesome as teenager hormones. If Tavi had to deal with both of those simultaneously, she might not be able to get out of bed, but that was a risk I was willing to take, I thought as I crept out of bed, careful not to disturb my sleeping wife. A glance at the clock revealed it was just past midnight. Lyra and Bon-Bon were probably asleep by now, assuming Bon-Bon had gotten Lyra back on to a decent sleep schedule.

Moving as silently as I could, I crept down the stairs of the quiet house before moving out into the city proper. Nopony was around to notice me, and I made my way to Lyra and Bon-Bon’s house unimpeded. There was the briefest pause at the doorstep as I debated my course of action. I was about to break into my friends’ house to use a cursed item to turn my wife into a teenager against her will. It sounded really bad on paper, but it was for Tavi’s own good. She needed a better adolescence, because the one she had was absolute crap. Yeah, it looked bad on paper, but I was doing the right thing, I reminded myself as I crept into their basement, careful not to awake anypony.

Once in the basement, I quickly found the monkey’s paw and floated it over to me. As soon as I had it firmly in my grip, the two curled-up fingers unfurled. I had to think; I didn’t want to poorly word my wish, and cause something bad to happen. I wanted her to drink the potion, and I wanted her to be happy, but if I added that last bit into the wish, it would probably backfire really easily. So I had to wish that Tavi drank the potion, but I also had to specify that our filly wouldn’t come to harm as a result of the wish. Beyond that… That seemed like it. I took a deep breath and made my wish.

Author's Note:

Still edited by EquesTRON.