• Published 11th Apr 2012
  • 8,929 Views, 452 Comments

Steamlord - The Psychopath

A man decides to leave his destroyed world for a new one. He goes slightly off course...

  • ...

Drunken cider

The inside of this barn house was surprisingly well made. It was even made of a material that was long since deemed illegal if used back on Earth. That material was wood. For as long as Steamlord could remember, trees had nearly disappeared from the surface of the planet. A law had been introduced in 2056 that placed any and all trees under protection, and any trees cut down would add to a fine of about ten million. The sum amounting to the monetary value of the country that said heinous act was committed within. However, it had all been for naught, as the birth of Steamlord would bring about the "Ash Fall" in the far future, and the trees that had so abundantly grown had all turned gray husks of dust and decay. Such a desolate landscape that scraped the eyes of any who looked at it with sharp claws and freezing ice shards.

But, in this new future, Steamlord could appreciate what he was seeing. Sure, he didn't like trees being cut down, but he was sure that the creatures of this realm wouldn't cut down trees for no real reason. They seemed to use everything for useful reasons, and not just to get one toothpick per Sequoia. Walking throughout the hallway, the human could notice Big Mac looking at him and his bodyguards with ill intentions. Not surprising seeing what they did to him earlier. Applejack stopped them in the kitchen, where a rather large table lay. Being told to be seated, Sunrise, Twilight, and Spike did just that. The only problem being that the human was MUCH bigger. Applejack thought up of something and rolled in a barrel. It was the perfect size for the man as he sat down and adjusted his tuchus to the roundness of his seat. The first thing the Apple family was going to do was introduce themselves. Of course, Big Mac decided to stay out of it, but Granny Smith and Apple Bloom weren't as reluctant and gladly came in. The first was Granny Smith:

"Well howdy there! Ah didn't think ah'd meet anypony new 'round these parts."

"It's good to meet you too m'am."

"Oh? 'N he's polite too! Doesn't look too strong though. A bit of workin' on the farm'll fix that right up."
Steamlord was irritated by that comment. He wasn't too proud of his physique, but he didn't like it when others commented on that.

"I don't think I'll need any of that." he said while following the old hag who went closer to Sunrise.
The little dragon didn't exactly like this old Granny, and started to worry, but the worries had no real founding.

"Aw. Lookitchou! Yer just the cutest little dragon ah ever did lay eyes on." she said as she rubbed Sunrise's head harshly. Spike grew jealous but didn't speak.

"That's enough Granny. Now why don't ya bake yer special apple pie fer our guests and show these two just how great the Apple family's pies and apples are."

"Well said! Ah'll be back in just a jiffy." Twilight gave a light chuckle.

"Wow Applejack. I didn't expect you to get so used to these two so quickly and even let them into your house."

"A friend of mah friend is still a friend, Twi. Now then, Applebloom! Come say hi ta our new guests."

The little yellow filly hopped inside the kitchen with a large smile on her face and was about to shout out the good 'ol fashioned family hello, but when she opened her eyes, Templar uncrossed its arms as it recognized the little filly. Steamlord gave an uncompassionate grin and an eyebrow lift as he recognized the little bow in the pony's mane. Applejack noticed the tension in the air that she mistook for a negative one and tried to break it up.

"Uh, is there a problem?"

"Nnnnope. Hello, Applebloom." Steamlord said as he placed his head on his crossed arms.

"Hiya Steamlord. Hey Templar."

Applejack was taken aback by this common way of speaking. How did they already know each other?

"See AJ, ah told ya the monsters in the forest were real!"

"Well, ahum, monsters is actually a harsh way to describe us. We didn't exactly do anything bad... as far as I know."

"So yer the one who helped mah sister 'n her friends when they were stuck in the forest?"

"N.O. That was Templar over there. The one with red."

Applejack walked towards the metal giant and grabbed its hand and shook it hard as well.

"Thanks a lot. Ah didn't know what I was gonna do if ah lost mah little sis."

Templar simply expulsed steam, scaring the cowpony a bit.

"...Can't ya talk?"

"They don't. I've already tried, but they never say a thing. They prefer to communicate with body language."

"Huh. Is that why they don't sit down?"

"It isn't connected, but that's a reason."

Applebloom noticed Sunrise sitting at the table and walked over to the shy dragon to greet her a hello.

"Hi. My name's Applebloo, what's yours?"

"It's...it's Sunrise."

"Pleased ta meet ya Sunrise. Woah. That gem around yer neck sure is pretty. Who made it for ya? Was it mister Steamlord?"

"No. It was...um...mister..." Sunrise had forgotten the name of Hospitaller and had to ask the man. Unfortunately, she didn't know how to call him.


"What's his name again?" she asked as she pointed towards the black and white robot.


"Oh. Thank you." she said as she turned back to face Applebloom." He's the one that carved this for me."

"Wow. Wait, how did he carve the face in the middle. It doesn't like it was cut in half."

The two looked at Hospitaller who stared back, then they looked at Steamlord, who simply shrugged. Even he didn't know some of the things his creations were capable of, although he was certain that System Security had something to do with the inner carvings. While Sunrise and Applbloom talked, and Applejack and Twilight gossiped, the only two left were Spike and the human who were both bored. Seeing as Big Mac wasn't there, they could only talk to each other.

"Sooo...anything interesting you'd like to say to me? I suppose we could right the wrongs between us..."

"Why? You knocked me and Twilight out when we saw you."

"Yes, that was to keep my existence a secret. I thought that if I put you in your beds, you would think seeing me was just a dream. What would you do if you ended up in a world you knew nothing about? Prance about like an idiot?"

"I...I guess you're right. You never wanted to-"

"Hurt you? Of course not. My Knights were given the non-lethal defensive protocols, so you're safe. That, and they can tell the difference between friendly aggressiveness and true aggressiveness."


"They won't hurt you."


Granny Smith came in with two apple pies that were already somehow cut in eight pieces each. She even came with plates on her back while the pies balanced dangerously on her head, occasionally tipping and threatening to fall on the floor.

"Here ya go!" she said proudly."The best apple pies in the whole of Equestria! Well, not exactly."

"What're ya talkin' 'bout Granny Smith?" wondered AJ as she was irritated by what her own granny said.

"Of course! What about them zap apples?"

"Oh yeah! Ah forgot about that."

"Mmmm. Zap apple jelly..." drooled Spike.

"Zap apples? What're those?" wondered Steamlord.

"Well, Zap apples 're these magic apples that Granny Smith says was the reason why Ponyville was founded."


"Yeah. In fact, they're magical apples too."

While Steamlord and Applejack started to discuss about the zap apples, the others each took a slice and started chomping down. Except for Sunrise who was hesitant at eating this weird contraption. It took some persuading from both Applebloom and Spike to get the little dragon to start eating her pie. It would seem that spike was quite happy to know about the existence of another dragon like himself. However, no matter what he said, he still didn't trust Steamlord and would keep a watchful eye on the creature in a more discreet manner. After awhile, Steamlord took a bite out of the cooled off pie piece and marveled in the flavor. As he leaned back slightly, as to not fall off the barrel, he spoke to Sunrise in a joyful tune:

"See Sunrise. I told you apples had the best desserts. MmmMmm. I wonder... Applejack, do you happen to have Hard Cider?"

"Yeah, why? Oh! Ya wanna try some? I dunno, it's pretty strong."

"Pff, I've tasted much stronger."

"Are ya sure?"

"Please. I've only tasted dull foods for so long. I need some good drinks!"

"Fine by me. Wait right here. Oh, y'all want some of it Twi?"

"No. I don't like hard cider."


Besides a few questions coming from Sunrise on what hard cider was, everything was quiet until Applejack came in with a barrel full of the beverage. She threw a keg at Steamlord who immediately drank the whole thing. After awhile, both he and Applejack were full down drunk. The Knights seemed "nervous" as they didn't like the thought of their creator being intoxicated. Steamlord and Applejack were on the table dancing to a tune that the human had started playing on his MPWG. It was an old tune that reminded him of the old fairs and inns of the medieval times. Even Granny Smith got into the tune. The Knights, despite their nervousness, were clapping to the beat and rhythm.

Sunrise didn't understand what was going on and joined in on the drunk dancing. Eventually, Steamlord said something that he would never say out loud to anyone:

"Ah! This takes away my guilt of causing the Ash Fall."

"What?" asked Twilight in confusion.

But before Steamlord leaked anything else, the Crusader Knights grabbed him and Sunrise and jolted out of the farm, making sure to activate their camoflauge. What he said left a load of confusion in the farm as Applejack collapsed on the table. It was apparent that this creature knew just how to rile someone up even if they were only two. Unfortunately, back in the crashed vessel, Steamlord had been placed inside of his room and locked in there by Security System. "She" knew more about him than anyone else and this turn of events scared Sunrise. A few hours later into the night and Sunrise, despite getting a free pass to walk outside by SS (accompanied of course) couldn't help but feel that there was something wrong with the creature who rescued her. Everything had flown by so fast that she was still trying to understand what was going on.

Once she was taken back inside the ship by Hospitaller, her curiosity took her to the now unlocked door of Steamlord's room. She leaned against it, but no sounds could be heard.

"You want to see him?" asked Security System.


"Then be careful. He tends to be...aggressive when drunk. It seems that he found a way to get around my protocols."


"Whatever drink he had contained alcohol. A fermented substance which can cause several problems to a body if drunk in excessive quantities. Steamlord has had a poor tolerance for the substance and, despite his liking for the taste, tends to become easily intoxicated with the beverage. I have the capacity to produce alcohol, but I have never done it."

"And he liked 'alcohol' a lot?"

"No. Only the more "refined" substances, such as wine. He is not a drunkard, and prefers to have at least one glass of wine to start a new year, although so many years without anything of flavor can indeed render anyone insane. I suggest you proceed with caution beyond this door. The Crusader Knights are on stand-by in-case of arising problems."


Sunrise barely understood any of that, but went inside the room to see the man with his goggles on the floor as well as his shirt and coat off, revealing his mechanical appendage, still silently clinking and clankering in the still atmosphere of the room. The inventor was sitting quietly on his bed with his legs crossed and staring through the window. The angle of the ship allowed him to stare into the emptiness of the sky. Despite Sunrise's efforts to get in quietly and sit next to the creature discreetly, the claws of her feet ticked on the ground, announcing her arrival. Steamlord lightly turned his head but went back to staring at the night sky.

Sunrise couldn't help but stare at the metallic left arm and the gears spinning inside of it. She tried to say something, but ended up rubbing her arm and looking on the floor.

"I'm sorry for earlier, Sunrise. SS was right, I shouldn't drink alcoholic beverages. I'm just not suited for them. I also apologize for what you heard before we were carted out. Although I hope you liked the pie."

"I did.......What did you do to your arm?"

"Oh, this?" he said while raising his arm:" I'm sure that you heard about what I said with the "Ash Fall" earlier?"

"What is that?"

"It's something I'm the cause of, and all the replaced parts of my body, like this arm, are my attempts at trying to stop the unstoppable."

"Parts? You lost more?"

Steamlord turned around and showed his mechanical eye. Although Sunrise took a step back at first, she eventually hopped on the bed and sat next to Steamlord, who looked back into the night sky. The silence was peaceful now, and the man liked it that way. After all, he lived like this for so long, he could barely remember any other way to exist.

"Ummm...what can I call you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure if I should say 'mister' or 'Steamlord' or 'Mister Steamlord', because I feel closer to you than the others."


"Well, you did save me, and Hospitaller took me back to see my father's grave*sniff*. I didn't think you cared about me, but you still took care of my father even though he-"

"No need to dig deeper. I paid my respects to at least one person. Why are you bringing this up?"

"I just wanted to know if you..."

"If I...?"

"Could be my...replacement father..."

"A step-dad?"
Steamlord thought deeply at the possibilities and things that this would imply, but they weren't displeasing. After all, he did help her out a lot and didn't have any problems with her living in the ship. Perhaps, when she gets older, she could help him out with his creations.
"Of course. I would be happy to be your dad. BUT!" he yelled as he held Sunrise back."Never call me a replacement father again. I cannot replace your true father, but I sure can try and be as great as he was."

Sunrise's eyes glittered in joy and she gave a big hug to her new father as he hugged her in return. Steamlord felt himself starting to become free of guilt and torture, but it still hung onto him like a leech. In his world of darkness, ironically, Sunrise wit that ray of light that seemed to be waiting for him at the end of the tunnel.

"Now then, I suggest you go to bed. We're going to go back to that town tomorrow."

Even though the man readied himself to sleep, Sunrise stayed on the bed, thinking fo something.

"Is there a problem?"
"Dad." she said. This name rang in the ears of Steamlord like the chiming bells of a church."What's the Ash Fall?"

The man cringed at this question. He couldn't come up with anything, but SS came up with something.

"You will know when you aged more. Right now is not the time nor the place to ask such questions."

The little dragon decided to listen to the voice, as she seemed to be very smart and knew quite a lot. The yellow dragon hopped off the bed and went back onto her cushion, only to see that it had been turned into a basket like Spike's. This time, it really was Steamlord she could thank, and she did just that. With a good night and the lights turning off, it was time to sleep. However, Steamlord's past was going to haunt him in his dreams tonight. He kept the memories of the incident deep within his mind and never wanted to remember them, but now, they were going to come back full-force and with reinforcements.