• Published 11th Apr 2012
  • 8,879 Views, 452 Comments

Steamlord - The Psychopath

A man decides to leave his destroyed world for a new one. He goes slightly off course...

  • ...

Templar's observations

It was morning already, and the human had "overslept". He sprung up almost immediately as he hurried to put his modules and clothes back on. Security System had to find a way to calm him.

"Steamlord, the scanning of biological data and the books is complete. Which information do you wish to hear first?"

"Uhhh...the biological ones. If there are really dragons here," the man took a sip from his warm cup of tea, a sign of satisfaction boiling over his face."Mmmm, then I wish to study them. Preferably, at least take an egg and study it very carefully."

"The chances of you surviving an encounter with such a beast are near zero percent probability."

"Why is this?"

"Readings of the reptile you scanned yesterday reveal that it has increased thermal perception. Even if you are fully cloaked, you will need thermal dispensers to be fully invisible."

"And what about the unicorn?"

"Analysis indicates that she is--"

"Wait...it's a she?"


"Huh.......I never could tell the difference with animals. And what has this analysis concluded?"

"She is the source of the large energy spike detected. There are less powerful energy disturbances all around the agglomeration."

"So these 'unicorns' possess some form of field around them? Is it akin to magic?"

"Further field observation required."

"Damn. Then we'll have to get out of here again. What about the books?"

"Data has been narrowed down to essential needs. We are currently in a location named 'Equestria'."

The man looked straight at the speakers in disbelief.

"The dominant species are the ponies you have encountered. Although dragons can easily destroy this species, they are too engulfed with fighting amongst themselves and hoarding valuables."

"Kind of like the orcs. Hmm. Go on?"

"Equestria is in the northern hemisphere of the planet...proper geographical measurements unknown."

"So we can't pinpoint our exact location...What about the society here? Anything?"

"It seems that they live under some type of monarchy."


"The ponies are ruled by two distinct beings called 'alicorns'. They have the physical characteristics of the unicorns and pegasi, and are said to have great powers."

"Great how?"

"The alicorns, who are also princesses, are named 'Celestia' and 'Luna'. The eldest, Celestia, controls the orbiting of the sun, while the youngest, named Luna, controls the orbiting of the moon as well as occasionally rearranging the stars in the sky to create new cosmic shapes."

The man could not believe what he was hearing. If these beings were powerful enough to move celestial bodies as big as the sun, then he would need to get the hell out of this dimension as fast as possible. Who knows what they would do to him and his creations if he was ever captured. He started to panic and think as he asked another question.

"Are these "princesses" tyrants?"


"Ah. Pfiou. That's reassuring."

"Anything you have planned for today?"

"Mmm...yes. Those three infants from yesterday. If I recall correctly, one of them was a unicorn, although I doubt she can use her powers at such a young age. Do you have their bio-signatures?"

"Yes. They are regrouped in one central area."

"Could it be that they even have schools around here? TEMPLAR! HOSPITALLER! TEUTONIC! ACTIVATE!"

The three bodyguards already appeared near the exit of the crashed vessel.

"Eager to go already, are we? Templar." The robot straightened itself out as it followed its creator very keenly." We are going to observe those three infants that you helped out of the forest yesterday. What do you think?"

The robot "crinked" in agreement as the other two simply stared at their "brother".

"Good. Being semi-sentient doesn't mean that you don't have minds of your own. But, they might be in an extremely densely populated area, so be VERY DISCREET! We will be going to the area of their location and we'll try and study them properly. It will be good to try and figure out how these 'ponies' develop differently from those of my...old world."

The man stared at the ground in shame, but quickly retrieved himself and jumped out of the ship, soon to be followed by his bodyguards.

The group followed the same path out of the forest, but, this time, they didn't cross the bridge. No. This time, they continued straight. Several ponies were crossed, and the bodyguards took the tie to scan each and every one of them. The ray of blue light that blinded these beings left them in shock and confusion as they looked around to try and find the source of those lights. As soon as they reached what looked like a rising path, a strange, single building could be seen in the distance.

"Is that a...is that a school?" the man thought to himself.

The group quickly reached it to see a playground surrounded by fences that the man and his Crusader Knights could easily leg over. However, there was nothing there at the moment. Templar indicated that the creatures they were searching for were in the building.

"Wow. This is quite intriguing. A purplish pony whose tattoos are three daisies? Interesting. Hmm. She seems to be the teacher of the group. I hope that's a she. If it's a he...Ah? Look Templar, the three little ponies you saved yesterday." the man whispered. He gently scooched over for his bodyguard to see.

The other two bodyguards went in as well for a closer look. Besides boredom encompassing the entire class, the "Cutie Mark Crusaders" looked rather down. The man didn't understand why, until he understood something.

"Templar, at the exit of the forest, did you encounter larger ponies?"

The robot hissed steam in confirmation.

"So they got grounded. We need to further observations, so we'll stay here for the day. We'll observe them from that hill over there."

The human pointed to what was a single giant tree whose branches dangled sadly upon the floor. It was a perfect place for observation. He even brought some snacks for him. The only observational equipment he needed were his bodyguards. Teutonic stayed near him, while Templar and Hospitaller stayed at the school for close up scanning and studying. It had been awhile since the group was near the school, but the creator didn't know for how long. He took out his pocket watch just to see that it had been five hours. The exact moment the second hand reached twelve, the bells of the school resonated throughout the area. Knowing it was time to return to the ship, he and Teutonic returned to the school, only to see the three little ponies leaving it in sadness. They walked behind the school, waiting for their pick-up.

However, as soon as the group was about to leave, two irritating voices resonated within the man's ears. He turned around to see that there were two more of these infants. Yet, they had those "tattoos" on their rear. The theory of them being for adults was now proven false, as beings so young cannot certainly be allowed into adulthood. One of them was gray with a whitish mane and wore glasses. This one had a spoon as her tattoo. The other was pink with a purple mane bearing a white stripe. This one wore a tiara and looked quite snooty.

"The hell? One seems to have been born with the french wording 'Born with a silver spoon in your mouth', and the other wears a tiara and has that same shape on her posterior...what?"

However, the intentions of these two weren't good at all. This was easily heard by their, like, totally righteous way of talking.

"Like, you three blank flanks really need to, like, get away from here. Hey! Like, maybe your cutie marks will appear if, like, YOU three DISSAPPEAR." said, like, the grayish coated one, you know?

"Leave us alone? We don't need any problems right now. We've had enough." spoke the yellow filly.

"Tch! Like being a blank flank is enough? You too are SO lame!"

"So? At least we know our cutie marks aren't related to something lame like "wearing a tiara"." mocked Scootaloo.

"At least I HAVE a cutie mark."

"Yeah. One that's pointless!" Scootaloo started to laugh at her own joke.

The pink pony looked irritated and turned her back in a huff. Her friend did the same.

"Let's go Silver Spoon. We have more important things to do than stay around blank flanks."

"Like, totally. We don't want our cutie marks to-OOMPF! HEY! LIKE, WHOSE THE PONy whoooo....."

The two bullies found themselves blocked by two giants. One was freakishly scary while the other was very shiny and red. As they stared at the two beings with their jaws dropped, the shiny one dropped its claymore right in front of the two fillies, who quickly jumped in the air and held each other in fear. The Cutie Mark Crusaders just stared at these strange beings. Yet, the one with red started to spark something up in their memories.

"So." spoke the frightening one. "You two like to bully with lame speech patterns that are, like, sooo last century? I don't take too kindly to your kind, especially when they mock someone for a lack of something or because they have more than the mocker."

"W-w-w-what do you want?"

The goggles hid the psychotic intent of the creature, but its smile was more than enough. He crouched to be closer to these creatures.

"You see that other one right there with his giant sword?" the two little ponies looked nervously at the shiny giant then back at the scary creature and nodded. " Well, we're watching everything. If I find out that you are mocking them again, it'll shorten you two by a head. Understood?"

The two fillies eyes widened in fear as they understood what he meant. They creature galloped away while screaming and crying, their tails between their legs. The two giants watched the bullies flee in fear and the human found their reaction hilarious. A bit cruel, but hilarious nonetheless. His pants were tugged by something. As he turned around, he saw the adorable little pony with the bow in her mane. "Applebloom", if his memory served him correctly.

"Uhh...th-th-thank you fer that. They keep botherin' everyday."

"Yeah. It's annoying." exclaimed Scootaloo.

"Hey...isn't that the thing that was in the forest last night?" asked Sweetie Belle as she looked more closely at the shiny giant.

"Hey, you're right. It is!"

"Thanks fer helpin' us last night. What's yer name?"

The eyes of Templar stared down at the little fillies trying to thank him. Unfortunately, this gave the three ponies chills down their spines and caused them to back off slightly as the giant plucked its claymore out of the ground and placed it back on its back. The human just looked blatantly at his creation say nothing and shook his head.

"He doesn't speak, but I can tell you his name. It's Templar."

"Really? And what's yours?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"I can't say my true name, so you can call me 'Steamlord'."

"That sounds egocentric."

"What does tha mean?" asked Applebloom.

"It means that you think everything is centered around you." said the man.

"And why did you choose that name?"

"It comes from a nickname I used to get."

"GIRLS?! Where are y'all?"

Yelled a country voice. The fillies looked behind them to see that Applejack was looking for them.

"We're here Applejack!"


"Look sis! We found..." as the little yellow filly pointed in the direction the two beings stood at, there was nothing left. They seemingly teleported.

"What didja find?"

"But, they were right there!"

"What was right there Applebloom? Ya aren't makin' any sense!"

"But, the thing that helped us out of the forest last night, it was right there!"

"Yeah! There was even another one. It told us that the thing that helped us was called "Templar"!"

"That's enough! Now we're going back to the farm where you'll help us with the apple buckin'. Ya three are still grounded, don't forget."

"Yes m'am." the three fillies said in disappointment.

Back in the forest, the group had deactivated their cloaking systems and were waiting near the ship.

"...all data sent?"

The bodyguards expulsed steam as confirmation.

"Good. This time, we'll travel through the forest and catalogue everything we find. I just LOVE treasure hunting! If I'm lucky, I might find a dragon's egg in an abandoned nest. I won't steal one. It's against my principles."

After his personal pep-talk, Steamlord looked up at the sky after hearing the cracking of thunder. It was getting darker.

"Damn. Well, a little rain never hurt anyone. Let's go!"

Traveling through the forest and keeping his MPWG activated for more accurate scannings of the area proved extremely useful and amusing. A strange creature in the stream estranged the man. It looked like a purple sea serpent with a mustache and well-groomed hair.

"I'm sure the Scottish would have loved to sea that." he thought to himself while chuckling at his own terrible pun.

As they continued through the forest, they spotted a field full of multiple flowers in what looked like a crater. There was a little tower of stones made there, and, on these stones was what looked like a sentient plant. It had several heads which looked like various carnivorous plants. However, as one of the larger heads looked around, it spotted the group and growled. Keeping his calm, the man stared the beast down, then walked away. This looked like a safe haven for that strange creature, and he wouldn't bother it any longer than necessary.

A few short steps away, and Steamlord saw a cavern carved into the side of a mountain. Luckily, it wasn't very high, and a few minutes of climbing would allow him to reach it. Escaping the soon to come rain was only for seeing what lived within the caverns of this new world. It took another stroll through the forest, upon which yet another Scorpios crossed paths with the group. However, this one backed off carefully. It knew, somehow, about what happened to one of its kin because of these beings, and preferred to not get the same fate. The man laughed, and hurried to the cave as the deluge of water started to punch the land below it. Finally inside the cave after climbing, the inventor had to lean against the wall and catch his breath while Hospitaller and Teutonic automatically turned around and started to scout the inside of the cavern.

The view of the forest was similar to a rainforest now. One could even clearly see the devastation Steamlord's ship did to the forest as several trees lay scattered throughout the forest after being thrown away.

"Pfooo. I hate climbing. Running is one thing...but climbing...that's just too much. Templar, activate your cross-lights..."

The bodyguard did as told, and the cross on "its chest, along with the other red portions of its body lit up almost immediately.

"Ah. That's better. Thank you." the other two bodyguards quickly returned. "Did you find anything Teutonic?" The robot shook its head. "Shoot. Well, let's explore further down the maw of the warp then, shall we?"

The group, now accompanied by Templar's lights, was better at finding things in this cavern. There were spiders, strange snakes, humidity, and all the typical things found within a cavern. Except for the sound of sniffing that started to echo throughout this abnormally huge place.

"What the? Let's track down that sound."

The group soon started to follow the sounds made by whatever creature was the source, and ignored smaller tunnels as the sounds seemed to be only coming from the larger portions. Steamlord signaled his bodyguards to halt and stay behind the wall. As they watched the surrounding area, the man peeked around a corner to see a gigantic monstrosity. He immediately hid back behind the wall.

"A dragon?! Shit! But...why is it sniffing? Does it have a cold?"

Taking another peek around the corner of the humid cavern wall, Steamlord saw a tiny, bright yellow thing rolled up against the massive green giant. There was something wrong here.

"What? I better scan the giant with the MPWG."

Scannings revealed that, to the worst fears of Steamlord, the fully grown dragon was dead for a few days already. Scanning of the yellow ball near it showed the creature to be a "baby" by dragon terms. SHE was, after all, fourteen years old already, if scans were correct.

"Shit. She's considerably weakened. If these biological charts are correct, then she hasn't eaten or drank for five days! Wow, I thought she would've been dead by three without drinking. *sigh*. I can't leave her here."

The inventor stood up and walked slowly towards the rounded body of the dead dragon, as he approached the baby who was quietly crying, but still sniffing loudly. He was amazed to see that the baby was very tiny. He was even more amazed when he looked at the adult. "It's amazing how such small beings become such giants." he thought to himself.

Before he could explain it, he had already crouched down and picked up the weakened creature. She started to try and fight the clutches of the monster taking her away from her parent, but she was too weak to fight it as she was given the chance to look one last time at her father, her tears sliding off the hands of her captor as her head lay down calmly on the beast's arms. She heard something being muttered by the creature but only managed to make out "Rest in peace." She felt herself fading away as three more unfamiliar beings walked towards her holder. They each emitted a cloud of steam, and she found herself moving at incredible speeds even though she wouldn't move or bounce.

She was not flying in the air. No, she was still near the ground, but the sight of the outside helped calm herself. The little dragon was passed temporarily to one of the beings who was mostly white with strange black shapes on it. This one jumped off the cliff and slammed it's right hand into the cliff wall in order to slide down unhindered. Upon landing on the ground, the other three figures soon followed, and the little dragon was placed back in the arms of her initial captor. The passage through the forest was a quick one, but everything was starting to black out. Without realizing it, she found herself being put on something very comfy as another weird cup-like object placed itself on her face. The little dragon felt something sharp pierce her arms, and some weird cold thing entered her body. She couldn't stay awake any longer, and soon passed out due to sheer fatigue.

Author's Note:


This was placed before the moment Inventor approached the dead dragon.