• Published 10th Jun 2014
  • 5,270 Views, 138 Comments

I don't belong here - Clawder



Spike has never been alone, and even in the moment he was born he had Twilight... but that will not last forever, dragons have an extremely large lifespan, while ponies don't.

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All for one, none for all

Author's Note:

Brace yourselves for the flying pigs and the apocalypse 'cause we got an update!

On a more serious note, I'm not sure I'll include references for the latest episodes (such as Ember or reformed Starlight) because this story started waaaay before that.

Should I give a nod to them by at least making a mention?

Come on, It's not like it would make you a bad friend... Discord continued the monologue in his mind. After all, he's been clinging to you for about an hour! He's awake! Discord looked down to the small dragon wrapped around his neck. Although... That was a pretty rough time he had...
Suddenly, he shook his head, and his eyes turned from comprehensive to his usual no-fudges-giving. What am I saying?! Of course it was a rough time! so what? I've had worse, He's going to have worse! Does that mean I should be mister nice friendly pants for the rest of my life? No way!
Discord was filled with determination now. He wouldn't let some friend be an eternal necklace because of 'the feels'. He took a deep breath and prepared the right words to say. Alright, Discord, you can totally tell him to buzz off in the meanest, baddest, unfriendliest way possible like you used to. It took longer than expected, but he had it at last; with his speech ready, the spirit smirked with notable villainy, proud of his first not-so-nice scheme after a long time. He opened his mouth and...

“Discord.”

He wouldn't admit it, but Spike startled him a little; making him cough a couple of times “gugh-huh-huh... Mnsss” he grunted “What is it, my dearly deared friend?” he said with faked compassion.

“You can put me down now,” Spike said.

Discord grit his teeth and fists; his eyes began to turn red; he expelled smoke and sounded as if water was boiling in his brain; then his head exploded.
Naturally, Spike looked up, shocked by the sound. It didn't take long for Discord to grow a new head, which was also angry.

“Uh... Something wrong?”

“Oh, no,” Discord shook his head “Everything's just perfect,” he snapped his fingers and, in a flash, Spike was back down to the ground.

After examining he was in one piece, Spike scratched his chin “Your head exploded,” he simply pointed out “Not that I have anything against it... But it did.”

“Really?” Discord replied with sarcasm “I didn't notice.”

Spike shrugged and decided to drop the subject. It was probably just Discord stuff.
Time passed by for a couple minutes and Discord had already lost his patience “You know, now that I know where this place is, we could just teleport back.”

Spike grimaced “I don't have any hurry... I'll walk back.”

Discord pulled his ears down and his eyes rolled backwards. Gah! He limited himself to curse only in his mind. I can't believe it! He's winning a game he's not even playing! If I go back by myself I'll be the most horrible friend Equestria has ever known, not to mention the unbearable yelling mrs. goody princess Twilight is probably going to throw at me; and if I stay I'll be bored to death... It seems like it's finally my utter end.

Spike looked over his shoulder as Discord scratched his face with desperation, stretching it in the process. It seemed like he didn't notice that Spike was watching. The dragon smiled knowingly, and turned around just in time to see Discord correct his posture.

“Listen, I don't want to be a bother,” Then an idea flashed through his head. He paused for a moment and saw Discord waiting for him “So... Since I don't need to carry anything around and I know my way back, It's alright if you leave.”

“Oh, no sir!” Discord lowered his head to be eye-level with Spike “And be punished with more friendship lessons because you didn't feel like coming along? You wish!” He stood up and started walking “We'll do it your way, we walk back.”

Pony feathers. Spike kicked the ground and resumed his steps.


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Back at Twilight's castle, there were a number of ponies arranging decorations to welcome the duo.
Although it wasn't supposed to be a party more than it was a reunion, Pinkie couldn't help herself; and the others, not wanting to despise her enthusiasm, decided to help with whatever their friend wanted to set up.

“A little to the right, Rainbow,” Rarity commanded to the pony placing a 'welcome back for the third (Or is it fourth? I can't remember) time' banner “It's covering half the roof that way.”

“It's gonna cover half the roof anyways! Just look at this thing!” Rainbow complained.

“Well, that's true... We could try moving it a-” Rarity gasped “Sweetie Belle! Not until they get back!” she rushed to save the cake in the middle of the crystal table.

“B't t's so Good!” the young unicorn munched on her last piece of cake before being levitated away from it “Hey! Let me go!”

“That's very unladylike! Only foals do that kind of thing.”

“You're never old enough to steal cake!” Sweetie announced triumphant “Besides, it's not like Spike's expecting any of this.”

“Well, he's certainly not going to have anything to expect if you eat all the cake before he arrives,” Rarity tried to repair the damage by re-arranging the cake in specific parts “Why don't you help Apple Bloom and Scootaloo decorate the entrance?”

“We're done doing that,” Sweetie pointed a hoof towards another table, where her friends were happily 'testing the flavor' of the muffins.

“Ugh,” Rarity covered her eyes with a hoof “Anyhow, they should be arriving at any minute now. I'm going to check on Twilight upstairs,” she trotted gently out of the room, adding a reminder before she left “And please, do try to leave some pastries untouched.”

“Sure thing, sis,” she waved a hoof her way.

Up in her room, Twilight stood on her balcony, staring at the horizon with a telescope. She occasionally stirred it's direction in case she missed a spot and went back to her calendar just to make sure they weren't setting the welcome too soon. All the while tapping the floor impatiently.
Before she could return to her activities, a knock on the door snapped her out of them.

“Come in,” then Twilight realized the mess her room was. There were scrolls here and there; papers and deeds to be filed; even candles scattered all over because of the nights she had to spend working to make up for the time she was gone.

Rarity stepped in, with her usual proud stance “Twilight, darling, whatever are you doing in-” her eyes widened at the scene. This organized chaos was easily three times more chaotic than her inspiration room “Oh... Oh my...”

Twilight sighed “Yes, I know. It's a disaster.”

“Why, you simply must allow me to help you.”

“It's fine, I'll just have to give up some sleep, some reading...” Twilight yawned “And some reunions,” she then rubbed her eyelids and smiled “Spike's also gonna be of some help when he returns.”

“Speaking of which, didn't you say they were supposed to be back today?”

Twilight went back to the telescope “They should, but I'm starting to have my doubts,” her ears flattened and her head lowered “I just hope Discord isn't much trouble for Spike.”

“Twilight, dear, I'm certain there's nothing to worry about,” Rarity gestured the door “Why don't you come down with the rest of us? I bet they'll be knocking at the gates in no time,” she said with confidence.

Twilight breathed in and out once, following her respiration with a hoof and with her eyes closed “You're right,” she serenely declared “I shouldn't worry about it; let's go and wait for them.”

Downstairs in the main hall, some voices echoed through the place; just conversing about their individual interests or catching up with matters in common. It was more like the main event at this point, having the nine of Spike's friends listening to the music of a gramophone, and most of them were already enjoying the dance floor. Even the princesses and Shining Armor had made a surprise entrance, and were speaking in a corner of the party.
In that moment, Rarity bit her lip, wondering if the scenery would only make Twilight be even more worried about Spike; but when she turned to look, her friend was smiling. Deep down, she knew they were coming back for sure. This earned a tranquil flicker of Rarity's adorned eyelashes, followed by light steps towards their friends.

“I believe we should greet the guests, don't you think, Princess?”

She giggled “Of course, Rarity.”

Both were quickly met by the others, who hurried them to join the dancing and chatting. It didn't take long for all to start having a good time like a big family who almost never got together. An event even rarer than the Apple Family Reunion. Troubles were shared, goals were spoken of, and most of the day was danced away. Even though they were all having a great time, each passing minute made more and more difficult to have fun without the dragon the reunion was meant for. It got dark after a couple of hours, and as much as they wanted to stay until Spike arrived, it had been just way too long.
Celestia and Luna, the first ones to announce their departure, had already said their farewells. They were only held back for a moment by Twilight, who insisted they should even stay for the night.

“I'm sorry, Twilight Sparkle,” Princess Celestia shook her head “Canterlot cannot stay without us for long. There are many matters to be taken care of.”

Luna just watched in silence as her sister's former pupil lowered her head, trying to hold back something she couldn't figure out. Anger? Sadness? She thought.

“Do you think...” Twilight began to say with difficulty “Do you think he's alright?” she asked.

Celestia gave a gentle nod “Discord is known for many things, and I certainly wouldn't say his ever-growing knowledge of friendship makes up for his malice, but he will never bring harm to your loved one. That much I'm sure of.”
The other alicorn didn't seem convinced.
“Although,” Celestia continued “It is strange. Discord assured me he would be here. After all, he's the one who told us about this gathering.”

That made Luna raise an eyebrow. She had actually been invited by her sister instead. She also didn't remember seeing Discord around the castle “Do you keep in touch with the Chaos Spirit, sister?”

Celestia's pupils shrank for a moment, fortunately while she was facing away from Luna “Uhm,” an aristocratic cough followed “Yes, in a... In a way. We have this scroll, you see...” she explained.

“Yes,” Luna spoke louder than normal, making clear she really didn't want to know, all the while looking up and shaking her head slowly.
Her sister gave herself a mental slap for giving Luna even more misunderstood patterns about her real relationship with Discord.
“Princess Twilight,” she called.

Twilight's ears perked up “Y-yes?” she took a moment before quickly adding: “Princess Luna?” formalities were still a little ambiguous when talking to her.

“My sister speaks the truth. Even though we may not know their current whereabouts, Discord will bring your assistant back unharmed.”
It had been a while since Twilight called Spike that, it felt out of place now.
“Now, Celestia,” Luna stared at her “Has Discord answered the writing of your 'scroll'?”

“What makes you think-” she immediately defended herself, only to be cut off.

“Has he answered or not?” Luna said with annoyance.

Celestia closed her mouth and rolled her eyes. It was useless to discuss with her “No,” she admitted.

“Then it means they're busy. There's no point in waiting and there's no point in worrying,” Without another word, she walked out of the castle.

That must have been the worst reassuring speech Twilight had ever heard. But she knew it wasn't Luna's way of doing things, and she was right about Discord. He was no villain anymore. Princess Celestia, for her part, stayed to give a caring hug to Twilight; which was returned in kind. It made the young lavender alicorn remember what the tender embrace of those white hooves offered.
Not actually wanting her to leave, Twilight finally let go of her mentor and went back in.
Cadance and Shining Armor were next, naturally because of their own obligations in the Crystal Empire. This was a faster departure, since Twilight didn't want to keep pressing anypony to stay, but she did start to get angry at what being a royal meant. Her brother expressed his empathy and promised he would return at anytime she called; something she wholeheartedly appreciated.
It was already 9 o'clock and the initial energy of all ponies present had extinguished. Pinkie Pie was helping clean up like she always did after one of her parties, aided by Fluttershy, who didn't like to leave trash laying around because of her. She had only taken a cup of eggnog, but she didn't know which cup was hers, much to her dismay. Rarity offered to take the young trio of mares back to their respective houses, and Rainbow Dash was talking to Applejack.
Twilight, having no idea what to expect now, approached them to take a seat and get depressed.

“Oh, but it get's worse!” she heard Rainbow explain “Guess who's been tasked with taking care of those newbies?”

“Uh, you?” Applejack knew-guessed.

“Exactly! How lame is that?”

“But, aren't you kinda a newbie yerself?” Applejack pointed out.

“No!” Rainbow shouted “I mean, not exactly...” she took a drink from her cup “I'm a 'newcomer', totally different.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Look, these aren't even real wonderbolt material. These are from the try-out try-outs!”

“Didn't Spitfire used to take care of those?” Although the farm pony was glancing at everywhere but her friend, she was clearly listening.

“Well yeah, but she says she has 'important' stuff to do, so it's up to me.”

“Hi, girls,” Twilight got into the conversation and sat down with them.

“Hey, Twilight! I was just telling Applejack that I'm supposed to keep an eye on some amateur fliers.”

“Really,” she was resting her head on the table and letting her wings linger lifeless. Her voice showed that she wasn't ignoring Rainbow, but it was clear that her mind was somewhere else.

“Oh, but that's not even the end of it,” she turned to Applejack again “Guess who decided to come back for a second chance at this.”

Applejack couldn't figure out who Rainbow meant; after all, she only remembered three of the other pegasi names “Biceps?”

“No! Lightning Dust! Can you believe it?”

“...” Applejack tapped her chin.

“So?” Dash insisted.

“Hmmm,” she kept thinking.

“Lightning Dust! I told you guys a million times about her!”

“Sorry sugarcube, doesn't quite ring a bell.”

“But- A!- Ghnng” she spoke half-words and letters while making all types of frustration gestures “Twilight, you do remember Lightning Dust, don't you?”

“Your wing got hurt because of her, didn't it?”

“Exactly! See, AJ? Seriously girl, how can you be so forgetful and dense?”

“Uh, Rainbow?”

“Just take a look at Twilight here,” she used both of her front hooves to point at her “Did she forget about her? No way! Now I know just how much you listen to me,” she crossed the accusing limbs.

“Rainbowwww,” Applejack whispered.

“What?” she glared at her with a frown.

Applejack used her eyes to lead Rainbow's gaze to Twilight, who appeared to be about to cry.
The pegasus covered her mouth and slowly slid off her chair “Um... Well... I'm... gonna go help the others clean,” she flew away.

You're the definition of subtle, Rainbow. Applejack approached her broken friend and wrapped her in a hug “Why so grim, Princess? I know what's eating you, but are you sure a small delay is somethin' to worry about? What if your calculations were wrong?”

“It's not that, Applejack. I know he's fine... It's because...” she returned the embrace “Because I don't think I'll ever have the certainty again,” she sobbed quietly in her shoulder “Whenever I let him go... I know he'll return, but I want to know when. Whenever he's late for even a second, I start to worry and I can't concentrate. I can't think about anything else. Every passing minute it becomes harder to relax, every hour is harder to breathe; and now that he's been absent much more frequently... I,” she stopped.
Applejack remained in her place, waiting for her to finish.
“I feel like he doesn't want to return to our home,” Twilight pressed against the orange fur “To his home with me.”
A single tear slid through her cheek.
“It would be easy for me to make him stay. To simply prohibit him to leave; because he's such a loyal friend, he would heed that stupid order just to make me happy. I could cast a tracking spell on him to always know where he is. There's really an endless amount of ways I could get the peace of mind I need... And it would be at the cost of his independence.”
Twilight broke the hug and stared into Applejack's eyes “So why?” she pleaded “If I don't want to take his freedom, why does it hurt so much to watch him leave?”

Applejack smiled and closed her eyes, facing away “Because you love him, Twilight,” she declared.

“Well.. Of course I do...”

“Thing is, he's been with you before you even knew what a friend was. And because he's lived with you like a brother; you've helped raise him like a son; he's helped you like an assistant; and he's loved you like his only family and more.”
Twilight analyzed the words, letting the memories flood her mind.
“I wouldn't ask why you don't want to let him go, Twilight,” she held her with a unique combination of softness and strength “I would ask: When will you be ready to do so?”

The princess covered her face, trying to hide her reddened eyes “I'm not sure I can do that,” she answered.

“Trust me, Twi', someday you will. For the better, I reckon'. Until then, rely on us and everypony you have a strong bond with. You'll need their help.”

Twilight leaned to lay on Applejack's shoulder “I will...” slowly, her eyes were tired, her vision began to blur; and in a matter of seconds, she was drifting off to a fearful sleep “I will...”