Ships Ahoy!

by Razalon The Lizardman

Fire!

Horseshoe Bay, 0700 hrs

The TwiDash sat still in the water. Small waves gently lapped against the ship’s underside, bringing with it clumps of seaweed and barnacles. The air around the bay was still and calm as the water, and the ship’s sails hung unmoving as a result. They were painted a bright rainbow color, while the flag standing atop the crow’s nest displayed a magenta, six-pointed star with smaller, white stars surrounding it. The ship itself was an outdated wooden schooner; in surprisingly great condition considering its age.

The TwiDash’s captain stood on deck, her outfit consisting of standard pirate’s clothing including a tri-cornered hat, an eyepatch, a peg leg, and a fake parrot on her shoulder. She gazed out over the water at all the other ships anchored within Horseshoe Bay, some with contempt and others with indifference. The ones which she had contempt for were the ones that shared a color with the TwiDash, of which there were a fair amount.

They think they’ve got the best ship, do they? she thought venomously. Well, we’ll see about that pretty soon, because that’s when they’ll see how wrong they are.

“Captain!”

She turned to see one of her crewmates, wearing entirely lavender garb, approaching.

“Yes, mate?” she replied.

“The cannons are loaded and ready to go whenever you are,” the other mare announced.

The captain nodded and turned back to stare at all the other ships around the bay. “Raise anchor,” she commanded.

“Yes ma’am!”

In no time at all, the anchor was raised and the TwiDash was moving through the still waters toward the other ships, specifically toward one which bore a lavender and white color scheme, its flag emblazoned with three blue diamonds.

The name of this other ship soon revealed itself to be the RariTwi, and as the TwiDash’s captain looked upon the rival ship she locked gazes with its own captain, also standing on deck and robed with elegant attire including a powdered white wig and a cuffed blue jacket with gold shoulder pads.

“Do you honestly believe your cannons are stronger than mine, dearie?” the RariTwi’s captain called once the two ships were close enough.

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” the TwiDash captain replied, signalling to her crew.

Said ponies quickly opened the hatches covering their ship’s cannons, readying them for combat. They were quite big, the RariTwi’s captain had to admit that, but whereas the opposing ship’s cannons outmatched her own in size they themselves were outmatched in other areas like quantity.

“An impressive lot, to be sure,” she said haughtily before signalling to her own crew. “But mine shall beat you regardless.”

Two dozen hatches covering the RariTwi’s Port side cannons opened, revealing them to be smaller than the TwiDash’s but nothing to sneeze at regardless.

“Not too shabby, I’ll admit,” the TwiDash captain said. “But you’ll still sink before us.”

“I’d like to see you try, darling,” the RariTwi captain sneered.

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” the TwiDash captain replied smugly before shouting, “FIRE!”

The TwiDash’s centermost cannon fired its load at the rival ship, smashing through the hull and exiting through the other side, scattering wood fragments everywhere. The RariTwi’s crew stumbled from the impact before the captain gave the order to return fire. Her crew complied once they’d regained balance and quickly fired off the first few of their cannons, smashing a series of petite holes in the TwiDash’s hull rather close to the water line.

“Oh, it is so on!” the TwiDash captain declared, shaking a hoof at her rival captain.

“You’d better believe it is, dearie!” the RariTwi captain replied.

Pretty soon the air between the two ships was abuzz with dozens upon dozens of cannonballs as the two ships continuously fired everything they had at each other. Cannonballs weren’t the only things the two ships fired at each other, however. The crews of both vessels would continuously shout expletives at each other, which consisted of the most vile things anypony could ever call one another. With the combination of both their verbal onslaught and their physical one, it was no wonder nopony on either ship noticed the third ship poised to strike them both.

"FIRE!" shouted a voice alien to both ships' crews.

Everypony aboard both the RariTwi and the TwiDash suddenly felt the vibrations from two cannonballs ripping through their ship’s bows, causing them all to stumble.

After regaining their balance is when everypony noticed the third ship, and its appearance made them all stare slack-jawed at it. It had beautiful, multicolored sails and a flag adorned with a sun symbol, but what got everypony’s attention was the truly bizarre design of the ship itself. From its upside-down forward mast, to the bent mainsail mast, to the inverted stern, and especially the circular bow everypony was silently wondering why in Tartarus the ship was able to function properly with such a schizophrenic design. Their common question was answered, however, upon reading the ship’s name; Dislestia.

“Yar har har!” the Dislestia’s captain, a younger mare wearing a tiara and a frilly skirt, guffawed in an utterly cute imitation of a pirate's laugh. "That was so much fun!"

The other ships’ crews took a moment to exchange confused glances before returning attention to the third ship’s captain.

“What business do you have with either of us, little filly!?” the TwiDash captain called out. “It makes no sense for you to fire upon either of our ships!"

The Dislestia captain smirked. “Oh, but what fun is there in making sense, darlings?” she sarcastically asked. “Here, let me answer my own question; whoever destroys their ships gets a thousand snuggles from me!”

Nothing more needed to be said as the Dislestia’s crew began loading their cannons with spiked cannonballs, the sight of which made the other two ships’ captains panic.

“Change heading immediately!”

“Steer us out of their range, posthaste!”

The ships’ crews hurried to comply with their respective captains’ request, all while the Dislestia primed its cannons and took aim right at the other two ships’ sails. The Dislestia captain grinned super evilly as she prepared to give the order for them to fire at will, but a sudden impact from the other side of the ship caused her to stumble and fall forward on her barrel.

“Captain!” one of her crewmates called. “Are you alright!?”

The Dislestia captain grumbled to herself as she stood up before shouting, “Who hit us!?”

“Over here you insane filly!” shouted a voice from behind her.

With a near-feral growl, the Dislestia captain turned around to see a ship with the exact same convoluted design as her own anchored just a little ways away, its cannons aimed right for her ship. What was different about this ship, however, was the butterscotch coloration of its sails and flag adorned with three pink butterflies. Printed on the ship’s side was the name Fluttercord.

“You aren’t the only one here with spiked cannonballs, missy!” the Fluttercord captain, decked out in a more feminized version of the TwiDash captain’s outfit, stated. “And you aren’t so almighty as long as my ship’s around!”

The Dislestia captain grinned. “Then we’ll just have to sink your ship, now won’t we?” she purred. She turned around to her crew. “Everypony, switch to Starboard can-”

“We want in on the action too!”

Everypony on the Dislestia and the Fluttercord turned to see another ship fast approaching them. Its appearance was almost the same as that of the RariTwi, with the only difference being its color scheme of orange & white instead of lavender & white, and a trio of apples emblazoned on its flag instead of three diamonds. Printed on the ship’s side was the name RariJack.

“Y’all oughta scootch on back ta whatever port ya came from!” the captain, a mare wearing naught but a red bandanna, shouted. “Cause we’re gonna sink y’all faster than a rock in a pond with our cannons!”

The Dislestia captain made a raspberry sound as she waved a dismissive hoof in response. “Please,” she chastised, “you couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with your cannons, much less sink a ship.”

The RariJack captain fumed, and was about to retort when another ship approached from seemingly out of nowhere. This one’s sails and flag had a color scheme of cyan blue and orange, with a rainbow-shaped lightning bolt striking from a cloud imprinted on the flag; the AppleDash.

“You know, some ponies would take offense to that statement,” the captain, a mare wearing naught but a black bandanna, stated. “That includes me and my crew.”

“Alright, we’re back in business!” shouted the RariTwi captain as her ship pulled around the Dislestia's stern.

“Same here!” the TwiDash captain shouted as she also pulled around to join the rapidly growing cluster of ships, more of which could be seen approaching from all across the bay.

Every ship’s captain took to glaring at one another with venom in their eyes. Seeing so many enemies all gathered in one place was both a delight and a nuisance to them. A delight in that they enjoyed sinking rival ships and the more there were the merrier they’d be in doing so, and a nuisance because they’d have to stare at conflicting color schemes for even longer. Regardless, the thirst for battle swelled deep in their hearts, and the overwhelming desire to prove their cannons were the strongest kept them focused on sinking every other ship that conflicted with theirs.

Except for the Dislestia captain, of course, whose mindset was as enigmatic as her ship's structural integrity.

As one, every single captain yelled “FIRE AT WILL!”. The air around all the ships quickly became a maelstrom of cannonballs as every ship's crew scurried across the decks of their respective ships, working furiously to keep cannons on both sides constantly firing at rival ships. Many shots missed and sailed off into the distance, but a fair amount managed to hit their intended targets all the same, said targets exclusively being any ship which shared a color with their own, except for the Dislestia and Fluttercord who fired upon each other over the shared design of their ships.

The ultimate shipping battle had begun.

Comments

[DismantledAccount]

Huh. Clever.

[Sneaky Breeze]

[forrest yuchnitz]

i got confused from the so many ships about halfway through but where is the twixie ship? and twiluna or twilestia and is this sticking mainy to the mane 6 or will there be other ships like tiwmac or fluttermac?

[Razalon The Lizardman]

4468352

growing cluster of ships, more of which could be seen approaching from all across the bay.

Patience young one, as there is more to come.

[forrest yuchnitz]

4468389 oh i didnt see that part i kinda skimmed the other half of the story when i got lost because of all the ships coming in

[Iroh Legoman]

Shipping Wars. I like it

[Lightoller]

We'll find that Equestrian battleship that's making such a fuss,
We gotta sink the TwiDash 'cause the world depends on us,
Hit the decks a runnin' gals and spin those guns around,
When we find the TwiDash, we gotta cut her down.

[Carnation83]

Proudly serving on the "Fluttercord" ship for over four years now.

[Mystic Sunrise]

“Do you honestly believe your cannons are stronger than mine, dearie?” the RariTwi ’s captain called once the two ships were close enough.

How do I know this is Monochromatic? Because they are the only reason that ship is still around honestly.