• Published 2nd Apr 2012
  • 4,075 Views, 103 Comments

Pacific Paradise - Hivetyrant25

Aloe and Lotus awake in a place humans called paradise, but is everything as it seems in Hawaii nei?

  • ...

Trouble In Paradise

“How in the HELL do you get seasick Chris?”

“Shut the hell up, I told you to leave it alone already!”

“One, you’re a lifeguard in Waikiki. Two, you constantly go fishing with your uncle on his boat. Three, you are in scuba class at school, and lastly... you are a faggot, therefore I rest my case.”

“Grrrr... Steven, shut the hell up!”

“I’m sorry what was that?”


“That’s what I thought...”

I flexed my shoulders and sat down on the rocky cliffside, feeling quite satisfied with myself after winning that pointless argument with Chris. Today was a good day, I just knew. Eighty-two degrees and barely a cloud in the sky, this is what I love about living in what some might call paradise. The waves crashing on the rocks just a hundred feet to our left sent sprays of cool Pacific water our way. On our right, was the beach itself, with white sand and calm waves that belied the true power and nature of the ocean. I leaned backwards and fell harder than intended onto the hard rocks. Pain aside, I noticed the sun was almost directly overhead, telling me that it was almost noon. The thought of me being able to tell time by looking at the sun made me chuckle a bit.

“Say Chris, when’s Gabe getting here?” I asked with a strange amount of annoyance. The heavyset Asian beside me just shrugged as I continued daydreaming. Chris was a friend from school, a dick in all uses of the word, but one who knows when to stop. In actuality he’s usually playing around when teasing people, as we all do. I on the other hand, am a complete asshole, a six-foot two asshole who enjoys watching Ponies a bit too much... go figure. I live on the island of ‘Oahu, which many of you may just call Hawaii. Believe me when I say that not all the islands are called Hawaii pal. Anyway, I live near the Harbor on the west side of the island, pretty far away from the famous beaches like Waikiki, but close to plenty of beaches nonetheless. Truth be told, I rarely go to the beach, but today was a special occasion, Friday the 13th, and it was almost customary for all of my friends to go and cruise on these supposedly cursed days. I looked down at my phone and realized I had been lying on my back for over an hour just staring at the sky. I also realized that my eyes were burning like someone poured a few grams of salt directly in them and shut them faster than my brain could comprehend what happened.

“Jesus Christ Chris it’s been over an hour and Gabe lives the closest to Barber’s Point!” I yelled way louder than normal.

“What do you want me to do about it?” came Chris’s rebuttal, matching my volume.

“Oh I don’t know? Call him?”

“Why don’t you call him?”

“Because screw you that’s why!”

“God you are such a...”

“I’m such a what Chris? An asshole? I take great pride in that thank you very much.” I retorted. A few moments passed waiting for a counter smart-ass remark, but none came, instead I was gifted with a rather hard punch in the shoulder.

“What the hell was... that... for?” I stammered as I bolted up and saw what had made Chris’s normally big mouth shut up. In the sky was... well the sky itself turned pink for about a minute and faded back to normal. I raised an eyebrow in confusion as I tried to piece together what I saw.

“There has to be a logical explanation for this.” I thought.

Well the weather has been acting freaky all week; maybe it’s just another freaky weather thing? Replied the voice in my head

“I’m almost positive that the entire sky turning pink is different than a few lightning clouds and a waterspout.”

I’d agree with you on that, had the lightning clouds acted normal.

“Wow the lightning almost reached the ground! We should call the Ghostbusters or the MIB.” I responded sarcastically.

Hey lightning never goes past cloud level in Hawaii and you know it! Don’t come crying to me when something odd happens.

“Well you have a point there but... wait... do I smell... fudge?”

I sniffed the air for a few seconds, but there was no mistaking it, there was a strong smell of fudge in the air. It was so strong in fact that I instinctively covered my nose to keep it out. If there was one sweet smell I couldn’t tolerate a large amount of, it was the smell of chocolate. You KNOW that something’s smell is too strong when it overpowers the smell of fish. The only thing I could think of was where the hell that smell was coming from. I looked all around our fishing area but couldn’t find anything that smelled close to fudge.

“Dude did you bring fudge with you? You know I hate the smell of strong fudge!” I asked Chris.

“Do I look like I carry around chocolate with me?” He replied with the expected amount of sarcasm.

“You are no help at all!” I replied, continuing in my search. After a few more minutes of searching, I gave up. I left Chris to sunbathe as turned around and headed back inland, towards our SUV. Upon reaching the car, I dug around through the glove compartment and pulled out the bottle of perfume my mom keeps in the glove compartment. I silently prayed to god for my heterosexual soul as I opened the bottle and dabbed a few drops of perfume right under my nostrils. This particular brand smelled heavily of citrus, but I was just glad to have that damn fudge smell out of my nose.

I began walking back towards the beach. As I did I had this strange feeling in my gut, like something was vaguely amiss, something was not right here. I approached our fishing area and resumed sitting down began to finally relax. It didn’t last long…

As soon as I began to feel comfortable I started to stare at the ocean, the giver of life for my ancestors. It’s odd how little I actually think of my Hawaiian heritage and how much we depended on the ocean for things. For our food, our travel, our women… Wait what? I snapped back to reality and was finally able to focus on what drew my attention. Two women, floating face up in the water, unmoving. Two things stood out about these particular women. One, was the fact that their hair colors were extremely odd, with one having hair as pink as, well… Pinkie Pie, and the other had hair the color of the cool Hawaiian sky. The second thing stood out about these two, was that they were totally naked! They didn’t seem to move I slapped Chris in the back of the head and pointed towards the two strange women. With a groan he punched me in the arm.

“They’re probably just skinnydippers, I hear they like to jump off the rock faces on this side of the island. I guess they like the fact that not many people come to the West side for its beaches.”

“Yeah, all the tourists go to Waikiki and junk, pretty cliche if you ask me.” I replied. We turned our heads away from the two odd girls, after all it is rude to stare. At first I dismissed the thought of seeing something move out of the corner of my eye, but being paranoid as usual, I decided to turn my head back towards the two skinny dippers. For once in my damn life my paranoia pays off as I catch the pink haired one capsize in the water like a dead goldfish.

"Chris!" I yelled out. "I don't think they are conscious!"

"Dude they are probably just high, let it go."

"Ugh, why the fuck do I have to be the only one with a good moral compass here?" I exclaimed as I simultaneously took of my shirt. I ran as fast as I could down to the edge of the rocky edifice and dove 15 feet down into the water like a boss... Wrong. Bellyflopped into the water, and it stung like hell, but there was no time to focus on the pain. I began to swim out toward the girls, silently thanking God that I had to do four years of intense swimming and running for school. I was about 20 feet from the girls when I heard a splash behind me. I knew that my friend had just entered the water and I picked up my pace.

When I got to the pink haired girl, I flulipped her over rather ungracefully. Not knowing exactly what to do next, I just tread water for what seemed like an eternity, my heart racing the entire time. My friend eventually got to the two girls, yet my heart continued beating at an accelerated rate.

"Muah mwah mwah muah mwah" What the he'll was that?

"Did you fucking hear me?" Yelled Chris. "We need to get them back to shore!" All I could do was nod and follow his lead as he grabbed the blue haired girl and began to backstroke towards the beach. It was only then did I remember that these two were completely naked, and I felt my heart rate skyrocket again. I tried to think only about getting to shore, but every few moments I felt my heart rate jump back up. The last of these "episodes" caused me to flail and I almost lost hold of the girl whose life I was saving. I could not let this girl die on me, I wouldn't allow it. After that, I put my game face on and double timed it to shore.

Although my watch stated the whole ordeal took only five minutes, it almost felt as if it had taken hours. When we finally got to the beach, I dragged the girl with the pink hair past the wavebreak and checked to see if she was breathing. I literally felt my heart stop when I realized that she was not. Seconds felt like days as I panicked, but then I found new courage and began to administer CPR. After two long minutes, I was rewarded with a faceful of seawater, courtesy of the pink haired lady. I turned around to see That Chris had gotten the blue haired one to shore and had gotten her wrapped up in a towel, though I noted that she was still unconscious.

"Aloe!" I heard from behind me. I nearly had a heart attack for the third time that day before turning around just in time to see that the pink haired girl had bolted upright. With a loud thud, she hit the sand and fell back into unconsciousness.

"Well fuck..." I murmured. The next thing I knew the whole world went dark, I felt as if I couldn't breath... Then I realized that Chris had thrown a towel on my head. I ignored what he was blabbering on about, though I did hear him call me an idiot, among other things. The girl on the ground still wasn't moving, but I managed to get the towel to cover her "delicates." I hoisted her up onto my shoulder caveman style. It wasn't a far walk to the SUV, but the feeling of having dead weight on you just invites all sorts of weird feelings. She wasn't exactly heavy either, I just couldn't shake the feeling that this didn't really happen. I placed her behind the driver's seat of the SUV and quickly ran around to open the door for Chris to put the blue-haired one in.

"So what do we do with them?" He asked.

"I don't know right now, let me think." I replied. I found myself staring at them for an unhealthy amount of time. I had this nagging feeling that I knew something, but it was so far in the back of my mind that I'd have to claw through my own eyes to get at it. It was then that I noticed the one with the pink hair, for now let's call her "Aloe," wasn't looking too good. She seemed to be sweating up a storm. I walked over and gently placed the back of my hand on her forehead and...

"HOLY SWEET JESUS SHE'S HOT!" I yelled, flailing my hand as if it had just burst into flames.

"Well, yeah she actually is isn't she?"

"Not in that way you goddamn moron, she's burning up!" I snapped. I buckled Aloe in and closed her door. As I walked around the car towards the other back door, I graced Chris with a slap to the back of the head. I buckled in the girl with blue hair and closed her door. I got in the driver's seat and turned on the ignition.

"Where are we going?" Asked Chris as he got in the passenger door.

"To my grandma's house."

"Is that such a good idea?"

"With the hospital Ewa shut down, the closest place she can go is probably Pali Momi in Aiea, and that's twenty miles away. Not to mention that there will probably be traffic on the freeway... No, my grandma will be able to give her at least a little bit of help."

My grandma lived only a few miles from where we were fishing. She lived in Ewa Beach, a large town on the west coast of Pearl Harbor. The ride only took about five minutes, especially how fast I was driving. As we passed the sewage treatment plant that marked the end of the former Barber's Point Military base, I heard a noise coming from behind me and I turned to see the blue haired woman finally beginning to wake up. As soon as she saw my face however, her eyes bolted open.

"Well look who's... OW MOTHERF-" I yelled as she punched me square in the face, screaming. The car swerved to the left and we started heading towards the edge of the road. I quickly got the car back onto the road and thanked the lord almighty that there were no other cars around. The blue haired girl hadn't stopped screaming during the entire ordeal. She passed out, possibly due to shock, a few seconds later. I looked at Chris and noticed he was gripping the door handle for dear life. I laughed like a hyena upon seeing that. I guess he started to find the humour in it because he started laughing too. I took a quick inspection of myself in the rearview mirror. I didn't seem to be bleeding, but I was sure to have a bruise by tomorrow.

We finally reached the cul-de-sac my grandma lived in. I got out to open the gate and pulled up into her driveway. I noticed my grandma didn't come out to greet us, as she usually does when company arrives, even unexpectedly. I just reasoned that she was in her room at the back of the house and didn't hear us pull up. I got out of the car and gently lifted Aloe out of the seat and carried her to the house fireman style. I opened the screen door, granted it took me a few tries, but we were finally in the house. I held open the door for Chris as he brought in that bitch who punched me.

"Obaasan!" I shouted.

"Ah tsa Su-ti-bin" yelled a small asian lady as she came out of the back room. Now, if you look at me, and then look at my grandma, you'd think I was adopted somewhere down the line, but I'm not. My grandma is full Okinawan and about four-foot eight, while I on the other hand, look completely white and am six-two.

"Aiya Su-ti-bin, why you bring so many people to my house? They dirty! Look at him he no even take off shoes. Aiyana! Dese two are wet why you bring them in wet?"

"Grandma," I spoke up, stopping her rant. "Dis girl has a fevah, she needs help." I said, matching her accent with my own, butchered copy.

"Put her in you uncle's bed then, he not using it!" she yelled as she opened the screen door and walked outside.

"Chris put the other one lying down on the couch for now then." I said with my normal voice.

"What the hell was with that Japanese accent back there?"

"Sometimes my grandma doesn't understand me if I speak normally, so I try to match her accent, it works... Most of the time." I said as I walked through the single hallway and into the middle room. My uncle lives with my grandma, but this week he went to the mainland to watch golf, or hockey, or some shit like that. Either way I was pretty pissed because he was supposed to hang out with me that weekend but, whatever... His room was a testament to metal and rock, with Def Leppard and Kiss T-shirts hung up all over the place, and various other rock memorabilia stacked on shelves. I gently laid Aloe down on the bed and put my hand to her forehead again.

Oh god she's getting worse I thought to myself.

I hear the distinct clank of the screen door being shut and turn around to see my grandma with a bowl full of plants in one hand, and a pounder in the other. She grows a lot of crap in her garden, and being raised in Okinawa on what was basically a farm had taught her much about natural remedies.

"Su-ti-bin, get me glass and Sprite, Hayaku!" She yelled as I bolted out the door and opened the fridge. Sprite... sprite... sprite... WHERE'S THE SPRITE? I moved a few Diet Pepsi cans to reveal... 7-UP... I face palmed harder than I had ever face palmed before, and screamed in pain as I remembered that I had just gotten sucker-punched by one of the girls. I grumbled to no one in particular as I opened the cupboard and grabbed a cup. I gave my grandma the cup and Spri... er... 7-UP and was just about to sit down at the foot of the bed when Chris burst into the room.

"The other girl woke up."

"Is she going paranoid this time?" I asked

"Not at the moment she's not, though I wouldn't hold my breath." he said as I walked out of the bedroom into the living-room. The blue haired girl didn't notice us at first, she just kept... looking at her hands. It freaked me out really.

"So... mind telling me why you punched me on the ride over here?" I asked with a tinge of annoyance.

"Where am I? Who are you? WHERE'S LOTUS?" she said, with each statement more vocal than the last.

"Look lady, I don't know who the fuck you are, but me and my friend here saved you and your friend so the least you could say is thank you..." I paused "Who the hell is Lotus?" I asked

"She is my sister, she has the loveliest blue coat and the most wonderful pink mane! Tell me where she is you monster!" Her accent was foreign, it reminded me of a stereotypical French person, oui oui and all. I saw that she was at the verge of tears, and it was right then and there that my heart caved in. Then it hit me, Did she just say "coat?" I was almost positive of it.

"What the do you mean coat?" I asked in a gentler voice.

"What is not to get? All ponies such as myself have coats!" the girl said sternly, though the tears kind of threw off the serious look she was giving me.

It was then that the rusty gears in my brain started turning. They clinked and they clanked and clinked some more. I face palmed myself once more, seemingly going for the record of hardest face palm in history.

"So you are saying your sister is a pony?" I asked

"Yes that is correct." she responded, having wiped most of her tears already.

"So therefore, YOU are... or WERE a pony yourself?" It seemed like an extremely stupid question but it was one that needed to be asked. There was no way that she'd actually...

"Yes" came her response. Wait, what?

She had that stern look on, much more convincing without the tears. All I could do was stare in disbelief. Did she actually think she was a pony or is she just messing with me? HOLY CRAP what if she was telling the truth? I just stood there for a few minutes with the same stupid look on my face.

"My name..." she continued, "My name is Aloe, and I am from Ponyville, in Equestria. Me and my sister own a Spa in town and..."

"Wait up, wait up," I interrupted, "So you are saying you are from Ponyville, a made up location from the show My Little Pony? You do know that show is just fiction right?" Chris groaned at the words "My Little Pony," and rather loudly too. I shot him a glare that would make an Arbok proud.

"What is this 'My Little Pony' you speak of?" She asked with general surprise.

"Ugh let me show you already!" I yelled as I pulled out my iPod Touch. I went to YouTube and went to my history, which was unsurprisingly, filled with ponies. I selected the last episode I had watched entitled 'Green Isn't Your Color' and played it for her. She just sat there with her mouth open in shock the whole time, apparently amazed at my old as shit iTouch.

"So sorry to be late Fluttershy!" Rarity exclaimed as she burst through the door. I paused the video right there. This time, it was my turn to be in shock. "Aloe" reached for the screen nervously with her pointer finger and began to rub the Spa pony in the background.

"Wha... Wha... What is this magic? I remember this day, but how did you..." she began blabbering, and I followed suit with a flurry of "buts" and "whats" and "huhs" of my own. I could feel my eye twitch as I suddenly came to a realization...

Ponies are real!

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