Discorded
The morning was uncharacteristically peaceful that day, it's transition into the later hours almost non-existent as the ponies continued on with their normal day. Surprisingly, there were no antics to be spoken of, a rather interesting, but amazing feat to pass over the small, but supernaturally affected town.
Despite being the residence to Equestria's own Chaos Lord, Discord, the town was undoubtedly normal, which, oddly enough, wasn't considered normal. As were most of the things to happen in the town, it was extremely ironic.
But, Sombra was unaware of any of the activities transpiring outside the library's depths as he was nose-deep into his novel, completely immersed in the works of A.K. Yearling, a modern day author he had taken a liking to. And it had just gotten to the final showdown, where Daring had to stop Ahuizotl's ritual within the fortress.
Daring couldn't believe it. She wasn't able to lift the ring! She wasn't strong enough! Despite how hard she flapped her wings, despite how much power she put into her limbs, she only managed to get the ring halfway off the stone floor.
'I can't do this!' she thought, screwing her eyes shut as she strained her muscles, 'I can't lift it alone!'
"Sombra?"
Daring never needed anypony to help her. Granted, the annoying fan she had encountered couldn't seem to get that through her thick skull. But she'd be lying if she said she didn't want the rainbow maned burden to help her.
"Sombra."
Suddenly, the weight wasn't so heavy anymore. Daring opened her eyes and was surprised to see that the cyan pegasus who had been accompanying her was helping her pull the ring.
"Sombra!"
Sombra jumped as he heard Twilight's shout reach him, shaking his head briefly as he tried to get out of the world Yearling had created. He turned to Twilight with a glare, not appreciating her interrupting his reading.
"What is it, Sparkler?" he snapped, slipping his bookmark into his book, "Can't you see I'm reading?"
Twilight took a moment to glance at the cover of the book that was in his hooves, her eyes widening as she recognized the cover.
"Is that Daring Do and the Ring of Destiny?" she questioned, "Wow, you've really gotten far in the series!"
Sombra stopped glaring as he glanced down at the book, then back at Twilight, a grin on his face.
"Well, I tend to read quickly," he told her, somewhat amused by her surprise.
"Have you gotten to the part where the fortress crumbles?" she breathed, leaning forward in excitement.
Sombra gave her a wide eyed look, his jaw slacked as he gasped.
"No!" he shouted in reply, "I haven't gotten that far!"
Twilight gave him a surprised look. "Oh," she said, looking off to the side awkwardly, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize!"
"You just ruined the best part of the book!" he exclaimed, "Sorry isn't going to fix it!"
"Well, I don't know what you want me to do about it!" she shouted, "I can't take back what I said, Sombra!"
Sombra gave her a glare, his lip curled back in a snarl. Suddenly, his eye caught sight of the book on Twilight's desk, widening as he recognized the title and cover.
It was The Games, the third and final installment of the series. Sombra had read the entire series months ago, long before Twilight had even started it, but he still remembered every bit of the plot each story held.
With an icy glare, Sombra leaned towards Twilight with the utmost aggression, his stance holding nothing short of hostile. He let out a snarl of pure anger, his nostrils flaring as he glowered at her.
"Daisy dies," he hissed, his glare unwavering.
Twilight gave him a confused look, not sure of what he meant by his statement, Suddenly, it dawned on her, her eyes widening in horror as she came to realize what Sombra just did.
"YOU JERK!" she roared, stomping her hoof, "That's a huge spoiler!"
"Now you know how it feels!" he shot back, "You ruined Daring Do for me!"
"It wasn't even that big a spoiler!" she argued.
"It still counts!" he roared.
"Does not!"
"Does, too!
"Does not!"
"Does, too!"
As the two magical beings continued to scream at each other, they grew closer and closer with every shout and bellow, until their noses were smashed into each other's.
"Does not!" Twilight screeched, pushing Sombra's head back.
"Does, too!" Sombra snapped, shoving his head into hers.
"Does not!"
"Does, t-"
Suddenly, the door to the library swung open, breaking through the argument that had been going in circles. Sombra and Twilight turned to the door collectively, their eyes wide as they recognized Pinkie Pie's tell-tale magenta mane. But, something seemed off about her.
The party planner of Ponyville was hunched over as she struggled to catch her breath, uncharacteristically panicky and perturbed.
"Pinkie Pie?" Twilight blurted out, totally bewildered, "What are you doing here?"
Pinkie held up a hoof, still breathing heavily as she struggled to calm down.
"Pinks, what's wrong?" Sombra questioned, walking over to her.
"Stay back!" Pinkie cried, looking up from the floor.
Sombra and Twilight gaped at Pinkie, totally shocked by what they saw. Her soft, mare features had turned more chiseled and masculine, almost as though she were a...
Stallion.
"Pinkie?" Sombra breathed, his eyes wide with undeniable fear and horror.
Pinkie gave him a sad look, her-- er, his-- eyes shining with tears as he jutted out his lower lip.
"Sombry, I don't know what happened!" he/she cried, rushing over to Sombra and pulling him into a hug, "I just woke up like this and I don't know why!"
Sombra remained frozen as he tried to process what was happening, his right eye twitching from the amount of stress he was feeling.
"Er... there, there..." Sombra said uncomfortably, awkwardly stroking Pinkie's short mane.
"What do you mean you woke up like this?" Twilight questioned, totally flabbergasted, "How can somepony go to sleep a mare and wake up a stallion? That makes no--"
Twilight cut off as her eyes widened in realization, then narrowed angrily.
"Discord," she snarled, "he had something to do with this, I'm sure."
Pinkie looked up from Sombra's chest to look at Twilight. "Why would Discord do this?" he/she questioned, tears in his/her eyes as he/she looked at himself, "Is he trying to ruin my life?"
Sombra wasn't prepared for Pinkie putting her/his hooves on his face in a rather intimate manner as he/she looked into his eyes intently, his/her ocean blue eyes boring into his.
"Please tell me everything's alright between us!" he/she begged, leaning towards him, "I need to know everything's OK!"
Without a moment's warning, Pinkie pulled Sombra into a passionate kiss, holding him close. Sombra's cheeks went aflame as he froze in place, his eyes wide as his pupils became pixels in pure shock.
Even when Pinkie pulled away, Sombra remained frozen, unmoving and still as a statue.
"Sombry?" Pinkie questioned, waving her hoof in front of his face, "Are ya alright in there?"
"Stallion..." Sombra muttered quietly in a dazed tone, "I just kissed a stallion..."
Sombra's eyes rolled to the back of his head as let out a groan and fell backwards onto the floor, unconscious.
Pinkie's eyes welled with tears as he put a hoof to his lips. "Oh, I shouldn't have done that!" he cried, "He probably hates me now!"
Twilight, who had been rather surprised by Pinkie's kiss, quickly tucked her wings in before Pinkie could see them and put a consoling hoof on her friend's shoulder.
"He just needs time," she told him, then frowned as she added, "but we gotta find out a way to fix this."
Pinkie wiped his tears away as he looked at Twilight. "But how?" he said brokenly, "He's Discord! I don't think he'll change me back because I asked him to."
Twilight shook her head. "Oh, he's going to change you back, alright!" she proclaimed, "I can tolerate all the other crazy stuff he does, but this is crossing a line! He's putting you and Sombra's relationship in jeopardy!"
Pinkie gasped. "Do you really think this could be bad for us?" he whispered, tears welling in his eyes, "Oh, I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!"
Twilight shook her head rapidly. "I didn't mean it like that!" she exclaimed, holding up her hooves.
"But you're right!" Pinkie exclaimed, "Sombry will never want me now that I'm like this!"
"But, you're still his Pinkie!" Twilight argued, "Why should that stop him from being with you?"
Pinkie stopped sobbing long enough to give Twilight a peeved look, his eyes narrowed as tears continued to flow down his cheeks.
"Seriously?!" he screeched, "Do you not know what we do together?"
Twilight's face turned sour. "Believe me, I do," she said with a shudder, "I had to disintegrate my bedsheets!"
Pinkie blushed. "Oh..." he said quietly, "You found out about that, huh?"
Twilight nodded begrudgingly. "Owlowiscious was very keen on showing me the evidence," she told him.
"Well, then are you not going to like what happened to the encyclopedias..." Pinkie added quietly.
"What?" Twilight blurted out, her eyes wide.
"Nothing!" Pinkie replied quickly, then frowned as he asked, "But what are we going to do?"
Twilight let out a hum of thought. "Well, you could always read on how stallions--"
"No, not that!" Pinkie cried, putting up his hooves, "Please, keep your weirdo stuff to yourself!"
Twilight frowned at her. "I was trying to help," she told him, but then sighed in surrender, "but if we're going to get you back to normal, we're going to have to get Discord."
Pinkie frowned. "I really hope he doesn't make things worse," he said, looking at Sombra's form, "I don't think Sombry can handle anymore surprises."
Twilight nodded in agreement. "This was very sudden..." she mused aloud, giving Sombra a thoughtful look.
Pinkie held up a hoof in a proclaiming manner, starting to resemble his usual perky self. "Come on!" he exclaimed, "Let's find Discord and turn me back into a mare so Sombry isn't weirded out anymore!"
* * *
"How did we get roped into this?" Twilight muttered, her eyes darting over to the walking gravy boat that was panting like a dog.
Pinkie shrugged. "I don't really mind it," he said honestly, picking up his pink teacup, "I like tea parties!"
"I'm so glad you like it, Pinkie!" Discord said giddily, appearing next to Pinkie, "It's so good to see you without a frown!"
Twilight stood up from her oddly carved wooden chair and slammed her hooves on the table.
"Enough, Discord!" she exclaimed, "You may have distracted Pinkie from our reason for finding you, but I refuse to let you distract me!"
Pinkie blinked in surprise, as if just remembering why they were there. "Yeah!" he shouted, pointing at Twilight, "What she said!"
Discord laughed. "I can see that becoming a stallion was quite difficult for you, my dear!" he said mirthfully, "But is it really that bad?"
Pinkie glared at him. "Yes!" he cried, "I can't be with Sombry like this!"
"Why, what's stopping you?" Discord questioned, feigning ignorance, "I mean, love is love, after all!"
"What are you getting at?" Twilight snapped, stamping her hoof.
Discord sighed dramatically. "I should have expected this from you, Twilight Sparkle," he said, shaking his head, "but, Pinkie Pie? I expected you to understand!"
"Understand what?" Pinkie exclaimed, "That my coltfriend can't even kiss me without fainting from the idea of being with a stallion? That he's so uncomfortable with me being this way he can't even hold me? That he can't even call me Pinks anymore? That he can't say I'm his?"
Pinkie had tears in his eyes now, his voice breaking as he continued.
"He doesn't love me!" he cried, "He can't love me like this!"
Pinkie collapsed to the ground, sobs escaping his lips as he put his hooves to his face.
"Pinkie Pie..." Twilight said quietly, putting a consoling hoof on his shoulder, "Sombra does love you. He's just... having a hard time getting over this."
Discord clucked his tongue disapprovingly. "Love matters not the gender, the shape, the color or the race of a pony, but rather the pony themselves," he said, holding himself in a regal manner as a Shakespearean outfit appeared on his misshapen body, "I believe that was a quote from somepony important."
Pinkie looked up from his tear covered hooves. "Are you saying that if Sombry really loved me, he'd be able to take me as I am now?" he asked, his eyes wide as his tears disappeared.
Discord held his lion paw and eagle claw's thumbs up while he nodded erratically. "Precisely, my good man!" he said, "Now hurry off to your stallion!"
Pinkie jumped up to his hooves, a determined look upon his features. "Come on, Twilight!" he exclaimed, "Let's get back to the library!"
Twilight looked like she wanted to argue, but instead in nodded in agreement, following Pinkie as he galloped away from the strange tea party they had stumbled upon.
"Good luck, you two!" Discord called out, "Good luck with your coltfriend, Pinkie!"
Just as the mare and stallion were out of earshot, Discord snickered to himself.
"If you can call him that!" he added to himself, letting out a loud laugh as he snapped his fingers.
* * *
"Pinkie, slow down!" Twilight cried as the pink stallion galloped at a much faster rate than her.
"Wow, stallions are really strong!" Pinkie exclaimed, "I mean, look at me! I'm super duper fast!"
Twilight nodded as she breathed heavily. "Stallions are... built to be... more resilient... with obstacles..." she gasped between pants, "Slow... down!"
Pinkie ignored her and only ran faster as the library came into view. "Sombry, here I come!" he cried, breaking into a full sprint and leaving behind a pink streak.
Within seconds, Pinkie had reached the library's door and had swung it open, breathing heavily as he slid into the room.
"Som... bry..." he huffed, looking around the room, "where are-- OH MY GOSH!"
Twilight came sliding into the room, her wings outstretched in an attempt to slow herself down.
"Pinkie, what's wrong?" she asked, her eyes showing concern as she rushed over to her friend.
Pinkie let out a small squeak, his eyes wide with shock as he stared at Sombra's sleeping form. With a loud grunt, Sombra's eyes fluttered open, signifying his awakening.
"What are you so-- Oh!" Twilight put a hoof to her mouth, her eyes bugged out in surprise.
Both Pinkie and Twilight gawked at Sombra as he stood up, shaking out his mane.
Or, rather, her mane.
"Holy mother of cupcakes..." Pinkie breathed, his eyes wide.
Sombra gave them both annoyed looks. "What are you two looking at?" she snapped, then blinked in surprise, "Why does my voice sound so weird?"
Pinkie giggled lightly. "I think it sounds pretty!" he told her, hopping over to him, "Kinda like you!"
"Pretty?" Sombra repeated, "What are you talking about?"
"You do look pretty," Twilight concurred, "I guess Discord decided to have a little more fun than we thought."
"What are you blathering on about?" Sombra snapped, "Did you two find him? Did you even look for him?"
"Yeah, we did!" Pinkie said, sounding oddly enthusiastic, "Boy, was this a surprise!"
"What was a surprise?" Sombra huffed, "Answer my question!"
Pinkie giggled. "Whatever you say, Queen Sombra!" he replied, bowing in a hilarious manner.
Sombra's eyes widened. "What?!" she exclaimed, her gaze immediately going over herself.
Sombra looked down at her slender form, the stallion frame he was used to having that of a mare. Regretfully, she looked at her mane, which had grown in length and seemed to curl girlishly against her shoulders.
"Sweet mother of Tartarus, I'm a mare!" Sombra cried, putting her hooves to her face in horror, "Why, Discord?! Why me?!"
Pinkie giggled. "It's not so bad!" he told her, putting a hoof on her shoulder, "Besides..."
Pinkie dragged his hoof down to where it resided over Sombra's heart, a sultry look taking over his features.
"I think you look pretty."
Against Sombra's will, her face went bright red as her eyes widened. "Er..." she said, uncomfortable at what was happening, but oddly interested at the same time.
"Why don't we head somewhere private?" Pinkie suggested, leaning towards Sombra.
Sombra let out a small squeak of surprise as Pinkie wrapped his forelegs around her.
"I am so uncomfortable right now..." Sombra said.
"That makes two of us," Twilight concurred, "but I am oddly fascinated..."
Pinkie's nose brushed against Sombra's lightly. "Why don't I help you with that?" he said quietly, closing his eyes.
"ALRIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH!" exclaimed a voice.
All the inhabitants of the room turned to the site where bright flash of light appeared, Discord standing in it's place once it disappeared.
"This has gotten extremely out of hand!" Discord cried, holding up his mismatched hands, "I mean, seriously? This is just weird!"
Pinkie gave Discord a disapproving look. "Hey, I have needs, alright?" he exclaimed, "And it doesn't help that Sombry is a hot piece of flank!"
"Pinkie!" Sombra exclaimed, her eyes wide.
"What? It's a compliment!" Pinkie told her.
Discord shook his head. "Nope!" he said sternly, "This has gone far enough! I refuse for it to get any weirder for anyone!"
Discord snapped his fingers, a flash of light taking over Pinkie and Sombra. When it disappeared, the couple was back to their original genders.
"Aw..." Pinkie said, looking down.
Discord pointed a finger at Pinkie. "Girl, you nasty," he said, snapping his fingers in a 'z' formation as he rotated his head and moved his body in a sassy manner. And like that, he flashed off, disappearing off into even Celestia doesn't know where.
"So..." Twilight drawled, "things got a little weird, huh?"
"Yeah, they did," Sombra said, looking off to the side.
"But that doesn't mean we can't do anything now..." Pinkie purred, leaning towards him again.
"I'm not sure that's something I want to--"
Sombra cut off by Pinkie pressing her lips into his, muffling his surprised reaction. But, after a moment, Sombra ceased struggling and leaned into the kiss, letting out contented sounds.
"You were saying?" Pinkie asked as she pulled away, her eyebrows raised.
"Come here, you," Sombra growled seductively, pulling her close and falling onto the floor with her.
"OK, I'm out!" Twilight exclaimed, sparking her horn, "Just stay away from my room! And the encyclopedias!"
"Mmm... Whatever you say..." Pinkie said between kisses.
"Ugh!" Twilight exclaimed, teleporting out of the library.
"You know..." Sombra said, "she didn't say anything about the fiction section..."
"What were you thinking, Sombry?" Pinkie asked, sounding breathy, "Novels or series?"
Sombra grinned. "I was thinking The Pony Games: Mockingjay."
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The science... fiction...section?... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I READ THOSE LAST NIGHT! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
I haven't read hunger games mockingjay yet um i am not going to get this story am i?
4333187
There's a small section at the beginning where Twilight ruins a book for Sombra and he does the same to her, the book he ruins being Mockingjay. It leads them to fighting right when Pinkie comes in and interrupts them to show what happened to "her".
Stop taking all of my stars!
I'm going to run out at some point.
I like the way it ended, but I think ending it a little earlier (when Sombra and Pinkie are still affected) would've worked too.
4333208
I see now thanks XD well i just read it and i love this from discord.
*sobs* WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU MENTION THA~AT!!!
Okay, I'm better now and finished reading. Discord, you started it, so, in technicality, you're nasty.
Oh sweet Celestia yes. And Twilight... you pervy princess.
Well, I do not no what to say... are they getting COMFY? *flashback from the first minute of a speed run of some peeved game called Banned From Equestria* OH F**KING GOD......
Oh man Pinkie seemed to be really into the gender swap near the end, eh.
So I'm surprised to see Discord break that up... Rather uncharacteristic of him, I'd think he'd be the guy to play the sexy music in the background.
4341021
Sometimes even Discord gets weirded out.
4342446 Perhaps he doesn't have a character, and that's what makes him so manipulatable.
Eh.... I'm not sure I've enjoyed this story. To be honest, I expected more. It's a comedy, but it would be interesting to see male Sombra and male Pinky being stuck like that for at least a day, figuring their feelings out and realising that love is above their... uncomfortable problem.
4342446 Uhh... I hope your not referring to Pinkie and Sombra being a same sex couple as something that would "weird out" Discord. I'm not trying to have a knee-jerk reaction and attack you, and I'm certainly not calling you prejudiced, but making contextless comments like that can lead to some unfortunate implications. I'm fairly certain you don't have anything against gay ponies, but regardless of what you intended it looks... odd from a reader standpoint. I'd appreciate if you would help clear up whatever misunderstanding it is that I'm having, I don't want to have judged you unfairly based on a misconception.
I only bring it up because for most of the story any mention of them continuing in a relationship as they are now is treated in a bizarrely dismissive fashion. I know this is a comedy, and Pinkie becoming a stallion is certainly uncomfortable enough of a predicament to make for a funny situation. But when it finally seems like Pinkie is going to try and make it work with Sombra, you just remove the conflict and make it so it never has to be addressed wether Sombra could love Pinkie as a stallion.
It just backs out of it's premise so that there never has to be any discussion of Sombra and Pinkie being together romantically as stallions. It kind of makes it feel less like Sombra and Pinkie aren't ok with being a gay couple, and more like the story/author isn't ok with it. But from a story standpoint as well it feels like a cheap way to resolve any issue without having to write a real resolution.
On the plus side, the part with the encyclopedia was pretty funny.
I laughed so hard at this part, I think I pulled a muscle...if that's even possible.
Discords a jerk.
4604678
Me too
I fell out of my bed laughing over this!
Another amazing story, as usual.