Scootaloo and Celestia: Adventures in Twilight's Gall Bladder

by Admiral Biscuit

Scootaloo Marries Celestia inside a giant Twilight Sparkle

Scootaloo marries Celestia inside a giant Twilight Sparkle
Admiral Biscuit

Everyone loved Princess Celestia. Everyone, that is, except Windigos, some teenage dragons, New Lunar Republic supporters, bats and other nocturnal creatures. . . .

Let me come in start again. Almost everyone loved Princess Celestia. Even King Sombra, maybe. Some ponies loved her more than most. Scootaloo was one of those ponies. She loved Princess Celestia more than she loved the sun—okay, as much as she loved the sun. She loved Princess Celestia enough to marry her.

Of course, lots of ponies wanted to marry Celestia. However, Scootaloo had an edge: she asked.

Imagine trying to ask the prettiest, most popular girl in school out on a date. It's hard to do without coming off sounding like a drooling moron. Now, imagine that same girl is also a princess, thousands of years old, and also controls the sun. Now that's a daunting prospect. As a result, most ponies simply pined for her love but never did anything about it, except try to be around her on the off-chance that she would suddenly propose marriage to them—a tactic which never works.

Princess Celestia was flattered that Scootaloo asked, and since she hadn't been married in many a century—so long, in fact, she could no longer remember why most marriages end in divorce—she said yes.

The two young lovers (well, young in a geological sense) decided to elope. This was an important decision, but since the Pony News Network had recently invented ponyparazzi, it was the only logical choice.

Twilight Sparkle, who had been growing like crazy ever since ascending, agreed to help the pair, offering to fly them to a far-off land, but Celestia didn't want to leave Canterlot behind, especially on the off-chance that this royal wedding was also interrupted with holey changelings.

So the two of them—Princess Celestia and Scootaloo—took a potion which had been prepared by the evil Zebra Shaman Zecora: a tincture of Poison Joke. Not just any Poison Joke, but pony-shrinking Poison Joke; the same kind which Applejack had once inadvertently run afoul of. Different Poison Joke plants have different effects, and this is known to Zebra shamans.

Once they were suitably de-biggened, they proceeded to hide inside Giant Twilight Sparkle(TM), where it was safe from the prying eyes of ponyparazzi and from changeling hordes.

No, I'm not going to tell you how they got inside.

The wedding went off without a hitch. Princess Celestia wore her finest yoke, boots, and tiara, while Scootaloo had to make do with a cardboard box she found in a dumpster (she's a homeless orphan despite that one episode). Princess Celestia married them, because she's a princess and princesses can totally marry couples, even if they're half of the couple.

Then came the honeymoon. It was magical, even if it was inside Twilight. Really, what could be more magical than the physical embodiment of the sun and a pegasus enjoying their first night together while inside a giant lavender alicorn? You can't get much more magical than that.

In fact, it was so comfortable inside Twilight, they just stayed there, building a small home in an unused section of her appendix. Some ponies might have found it uncomfortable, living inside another pony, but they were in love, and such things were the price to pay for love.

Author's Note:

This is all Blueshift's fault.

Comments

[deletingthisaccount]

This is brilliant.

[nothingtoseehere]

This, I think, is where the show has been headed all along. Are you perhaps a wizard, or some kind of prophet?

[Palm Palette]

No, I'm not going to tell you how they got inside.

The entered by riding in a peach sub-mare-ine.

...what?

[TheWraithWriter]

What?

[Xx soul sorrow xX]

oh man what will happen next :)

[Lancerlot]

...All was wonderful, until Discord ...Offered giant Twilight Sparkle a giant bean-and-cheese burrito with extra salsa and "a side-order of coleslaw to help cool the mouth." The young lovers' surprise eviction was accompanied by a thunderous extended explosion such as Equestria had never before experienced, causing a full-grown dragon several miles distant to give a thumbs-up and the words, "Good one!"

Because a gut joke needs a fart joke. It just does, is all.

[TwinkiePon]

while Scootaloo had to make do with a cardboard box she found in a dumpster (she's a homeless orphan despite that one episode).

"I had nine months to work on it; I did nothing...I got a cardboard box..."

[Pencil Melody]

5599911
I know this is an old comment, but isn't that a Brian Reagan Stupid in School reference? I practically have it all memorized, I love it so much.
~Melly~

[Pickleless]

The wedding went off without a hitch. Princess Celestia wore her finest yoke, boots, and tiara, while Scootaloo had to make do with a cardboard box she found in a dumpster (she's a homeless orphan despite that one episode). Princess Celestia married them, because she's a princess and princesses can totally marry couples, even if they're half of the couple.

I don't know how to feel about this.

[Admiral Biscuit]

8601261

I don't know how to feel about this.

You should be proud of Scoots for making a dress out of a cardboard box. Not many ponies could pull off that look.