What happens when you add a cosplayer, the Witch king of Angmar, and the peaceful land of Equestia all in one story? A twisted tale of good vs evil... what else?
So much yes! I'm liking the Witch King here. Also just a side note, isn't the screech called Black Breath? I read it in one of the information books on LOTR and all the others and it just says they have the an ability called Black Breath so I assume that's what the screech is. Interesting no?
I love that! Now Nightmare Moon is a slave to the Witch King! I love how her attack was useless and how he seemed barely phased, then he grabbed her by the throat just like Eowyn... if only he said "Fool, no creature can kill me..." It's even better with the voice stuck in my head.
I would suggest rewording many of your sentences in order to avoid starting every other sentence with "I". Try to have each sentence in a paragraph start with a different word.
I must say I find myself disappointed. Now don't get me wrong, I love Sauron, the Witch King, and the Nazgul. They are iconic figures in literature along with many of the others from the Lord of the Rings series. However when it came to the battle between Nightmare Moon and the Witch King, I was seriously disappointed. Now the Witch King was a badass there's no question of that, and Sauron even moreso. However to so easily best Nightmare Moon in combat? I doubt it. She can MOVE THE FREAKING MOON! Sauron would have loved for eternal night, given his armies do not fair well in sunlight. So the Witch King so easily besting/stopping a magic bolt from Nightmare Moon? I highly doubt it. No man may kill the Witch King, but Nightmare Moon is neither male nor human. Being generous the best outcome I could see would be a stalemate. As for the Morgul Blade, I'm not sure how much good it would honestly do against someone who can, you know, turn into mist. I don't think that was ever accounted for by their creator. Kinda hard for a sliver to make it's way into her heart if she's an ethereal cloud of mist. So again at best I would see it being a Stalemate, instead of a one-sided slaughter in Nightmare Moon's favor. And from said stalemate could come an alliance. Nightmare Moon could use an army and powerful allies, the Witch King and his master Sauron could use someone who can make it night at any time they desire, is powerful in their own right, and who could be an excellent spy, what being able to shapeshift and form into a mist and all. Win-win for both sides. Also, while a nazgul scream is loud and terrifying, I kinda doubt it being able to carry through the air from the Everfree to Canterlot. I certainly don't remember the Witch King's scream carrying from Minas Morgul to Minas Tirith. And as a final thought, don't make Celestia's court full of idiotic, greedy nobles with no real purpose. It's a cliche done to death.
So barring a re-write, I'll be giving this a thumbs down. Although I kinda doubt you care. *shrugs*
5115537 Remember the Witch King, no the Nazgùls power comes from fear mainly. If Nightmare Moon was even slightly frightened the Ringwraiths latch onto that and draw on it to take hold on them and create even more fear. In the end if she wasn't frightened she'd've punched him into the dirt with little effort... Well ok he's the Witch King so she'd have to work for it but he'd most likely lose but as she was frightened she was gonna lose no matter what.
It's angst horse!
So much yes! I'm liking the Witch King here. Also just a side note, isn't the screech called Black Breath? I read it in one of the information books on LOTR and all the others and it just says they have the an ability called Black Breath so I assume that's what the screech is. Interesting no?
Project x zone haunted graveyard very fitting
this is a whole new level of win...i anticipate the next chapter greatly
Awesome
Well perfect, now everyone will think that it was Nightmare Moon.
4917379 A "whole new level of WIN"? I don't think they make win of this caliber or at least what this could become
ALL THE YES IN THE WORLD FOR THIS STORY!
needing more please
4917816 It is because of the power he was given by Sauron.
Fucking love it, fuckin love it!!!!! I vannot wait for the next chap
Fucking love it, fuckin love it!!!!! I vannot wait for the next chap
This chapter was pretty good, but it feels rushed towards the end. Regardless, this is a really interesting story. Keep up the good work.
A few simple misspellings ("ot" instead of "to"), but other than that, this is going quite well.
Keep up the good work!
I love that! Now Nightmare Moon is a slave to the Witch King! I love how her attack was useless and how he seemed barely phased, then he grabbed her by the throat just like Eowyn... if only he said "Fool, no creature can kill me..."
It's even better with the voice stuck in my head.
Great story, makes me remember the Morgoth in Equestria story.
Keep up the great work.
And now it is no longer OP human vs. more OP cartoon magic. It's OP human and somewhat OP villain vs. more OP cartoon magic.
Wow, NMM so got owned!!
I would suggest rewording many of your sentences in order to avoid starting every other sentence with "I". Try to have each sentence in a paragraph start with a different word.
4926029 A lot easier said than done, because I do try and look for repeating words. Sometimes it just doesn't work out.
It's getting good, keep it up
4926234 More dude moaaaaarrrr!!!
I demand more
Witch king is too awesome
Could be "In a single [Fluid/other word] motion, I unsheathed my dagger and [quickly] stabbed her in the chest."
Should be "You will serve me, lest you decide to become one with the shadows."
more?
I must say I find myself disappointed. Now don't get me wrong, I love Sauron, the Witch King, and the Nazgul. They are iconic figures in literature along with many of the others from the Lord of the Rings series.
However when it came to the battle between Nightmare Moon and the Witch King, I was seriously disappointed.
Now the Witch King was a badass there's no question of that, and Sauron even moreso. However to so easily best Nightmare Moon in combat? I doubt it. She can MOVE THE FREAKING MOON! Sauron would have loved for eternal night, given his armies do not fair well in sunlight. So the Witch King so easily besting/stopping a magic bolt from Nightmare Moon? I highly doubt it. No man may kill the Witch King, but Nightmare Moon is neither male nor human. Being generous the best outcome I could see would be a stalemate.
As for the Morgul Blade, I'm not sure how much good it would honestly do against someone who can, you know, turn into mist. I don't think that was ever accounted for by their creator. Kinda hard for a sliver to make it's way into her heart if she's an ethereal cloud of mist.
So again at best I would see it being a Stalemate, instead of a one-sided slaughter in Nightmare Moon's favor. And from said stalemate could come an alliance. Nightmare Moon could use an army and powerful allies, the Witch King and his master Sauron could use someone who can make it night at any time they desire, is powerful in their own right, and who could be an excellent spy, what being able to shapeshift and form into a mist and all. Win-win for both sides.
Also, while a nazgul scream is loud and terrifying, I kinda doubt it being able to carry through the air from the Everfree to Canterlot. I certainly don't remember the Witch King's scream carrying from Minas Morgul to Minas Tirith.
And as a final thought, don't make Celestia's court full of idiotic, greedy nobles with no real purpose. It's a cliche done to death.
So barring a re-write, I'll be giving this a thumbs down. Although I kinda doubt you care. *shrugs*
5115537 Remember the Witch King, no the Nazgùls power comes from fear mainly. If Nightmare Moon was even slightly frightened the Ringwraiths latch onto that and draw on it to take hold on them and create even more fear. In the end if she wasn't frightened she'd've punched him into the dirt with little effort... Well ok he's the Witch King so she'd have to work for it but he'd most likely lose but as she was frightened she was gonna lose no matter what.
if i remember correctly isn't the poison from those morgul blades (that is what they are called) turn you into a ring wraith?
Continue this pleeeeeease?
love the story i hope you make more
love the story i hope you make more
love the story i hope you make more
when will you post a new chapter
i need more i hope you make more soon and hear is the famous scream of the witch king