The rays of Celestia's sun slowly made their across Ponyville announcing the beginning of a new day. As the rays stretched across the land, the warmth and light of the sun followed. Finally, they reached the abode of a certain cloud home, currently occupied by two occupants. Here an infant biped was clinging to a rag-pegasi doll with button eyes, while a cyan pegasus was protectively curled around the infant. Both of whom were blissfully asleep on a sofa without a care in the world.
After a time the pegasus awoke, and careful not to disturb the other occupant. She walked over to a window taking in the sight of the sun rising over the horizon, admiring the view. Usually, she wouldn't wake up this early, but she had a lot to consider about, and it was currently occupying her sofa. As she watched the sunrise, she mentally reran what happened the day before.
Suddenly reality came crashing down pretty hard for poor Rainbow Dash as she began to realize the full implications of what she had done. She had just taken a creature she had never seen before (from the dangerous Everfree Forest no less!) into her house! What if he was dangerous?
Rainbow Dash peered at the sofa again and couldn't imagine the cute little creature being a danger to anyone...except maybe Captain Firefly (the poor doll looked like it was being constricted by a snake). She doubted he even from Equestria. He sure didn't look like anypony Rainbow could think of; heck he didn't even look like any animal she had ever seen before. So where did he come from? What was the weird pod thingy he was in, it was almost as alien as he was! And the reverse lightning?
She let out a sigh, this whole situation was just so weird, and it seemed the more she thought about it the weirder the whole thing seemed. How would the residents of Ponyville react to the infant? If they ever found out she had flown in the middle of a storm, and took an unknown creature home from the Everfree Forrest, they would probably find her a nice soft room with white walls, and a straight-jacket to match! Or worse what would they do to the poor baby creature she saved? She shivered at the thought. She doubted anypony would do something cruel but...you never knew what a scared pony might do when frightened.
Well letting this get to the public was out of the picture. Maybe she could raise him herself? Or at least until he could fend for himself. After all she wasn't terrible with kids, and he seemed to have taken a liking to her...their was only one problem. She had no idea how to raise an alien, much less a baby one! Their was no avoiding it, Rainbow was goanna need some help.
"No, I can't just tell this to anypony. I have to pick somepony who knows a lot about different creatures, won't ask too many questions, and won't tell anyone" lamented Rainbow. As soon as she uttered those words she knew their was only one pony she could turn too.
~~~~~
Meanwhile on the edge of Ponyville
~~~~~
Rainbow Dash wasn't the only one who woke up early that morning. The pegasus known as Fluttershy was charged with the task of helping the animals in the Ponyville area. A task she happily preformed, and did extremely well. She had woken up early to feed all the animals their breakfast. Fluttershy approached each animal under her charge with the greatest of patience and understanding, waiting for them to begin eating before moving on. She even stirred up conversation with her animal friends asking the 'how their morning was' or 'how's the family doing'. Her gentle, and kind heart was ideal for caring for animals, while her diligence and passion for her task all contributed to make her one of Ponyville's best caretakers.
Now that she had made sure all her animal friends were fed and content, she began setting her own breakfast. Some hay, a side of oats and some tea was Fluttershy's usual preference for breakfast. Outwardly Fluttershy displayed a very timid if not cowardly demeanor. So consequently it was hard for Fluttershy to make friends....if she only ended up running away from them.
Indeed the yellow pegasi seemed to at times deliberately avoid other ponies. But make no mistake this pony had a heart of gold. She certainly did not wan't to hurt anyponies feelings, she was just a gentle, timid soul. So sometimes it was hard for her to express herself around other ponies. She only ever truly opened up to friends that she's comfortable around.
Luckily, Rainbow Dash was just such a pony. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy went way, way back. Ever since the both of them were only just fillies. Back in those days Fluttershy was constantly picked on because of her shyness, but Rainbow Dash took it upon herself to stand up for her. In turn Fluttershy always tried to be their for Rainbow Dash. She went to all of Rainbow's athletic events for moral support, she offered Rainbow advice occasionally. More recently she was the shoulder Rainbow Dash could cry on without fear of judgment.
As she finished her breakfast she heard a nock on the door.
"Coming," said Fluttershy as she walked toward the door. Nothing could prepare Fluttershy for what she was about to see.
Their was Rainbow Dash at here door usually not to rare an occurrence, but she was holding a creature that even Fluttershy; with all her experience dealing with animals, had never seen before.
"Uh hi Fluttershy do you got a minute?" asked Rainbow Dash timidly.
That's... A really interesting thing to say
I like interesting.
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Rather short, but I'm glad you updated, hope to see another one soon
Knock not nock.
At least Rainbow had the sense to take the kid to Fluttershy... but how long until the secret is out????
4592986
Just wait until Lyra shows up.
4593558 Poor little guy is going to be so scared of mint unicorns. But I can totally see Fluttershy being there and suddenly tossing Lyra out until she calms down.
Seriusly? That was it? Don't get wrong I liked but...We finally have an update and this is all? D:
4614858 hmm OK so just between the two of us would u prefer long chapters but long waiting times or short chapters and short waiting times?
4618803 longer chapters.
4618867 OK :)
I'll keep that in mind
4618905 I mean. look how many time took you to update and this is all you gived us. I'm fallowing other fics that are updating after loong times but they have chapters like 4 times longer than this one.
This one felt more like a page or two than a chapter.
Don't get me wrong. I like it. But the story didn't move much this chapter.
4657586 Thanks friend. I'll get to those as soon as I can. And I do find your advice helpful. I'm still a little wet behind the ears so any help is appreciated.
4653952 bwahaha ahh lol
Short chapter, here we go!
Move the comma to after land, and put 'the' before warmth
'he was even'
Forest has an extra r
Putting both 'scared' and 'frightened in this sentence is kind of redundant. Remove one of the two.
'Gonna', not 'goanna'. Or better yet, 'going to'
'to', not 'too'
'Them', not 'the'
'fed', not 'feed'
'Anypony's' feelings. The ponies "own" their feelings
'She was', past tense
Use a comma instead of a semicolon.
That's all. I think I've run out of comma usage advice, hope it was worth it and made sense. We'll just have to see, now won't we!
4661083 would u like to be my editor...your really good at proof reading!
4694914 Haha, sure. I'd love to. Y'know, with time, you won't even need me, trust me.
4732717 xD
Sorry for being so harsh but there is a lot to improve here, maybe you just need more experience and focus.
Also have in mind that babies are very VERY sensitive, If one is hungry he would be just crying, he won't wait patienty and calm to be feed. I mean you're making a impossible cute baby that doesn't see to by any hard to take care of.
Thats why I asked if you're treating the characters as cartoon or like living things.
4734495 OK. I see what u mean. I know how much of a hand full kids are. But I wanted to develop Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy here.
This reminds me of the only feral child case that I know is 100% truth. It's about a Ukrainian girl by the name of Oxana Malaya. One day when she was just three, her parents got drunk and neglected her leaving her to seek shelter with dogs. This went on for 4+ years until she was rediscovered by cops. She showed behavior of a dog like barking, lapping up water from a garden hose faucet, and running on all fours. Currently she's about 33 years old, but has the intellect of a five year old and is living in a place for the mentally-disabled. I think she can still bark but she can also speak.
Vinyl Scratch--because the bitch is a mute and CAN'T tell anypony about this... Octavia, on the other hoof, will be a problem--So, I have ta kill her before Vinyl can say anything...