Pessimism and Sarcasm

by Jerec the Ascendant

Chapter 23.5: A Not Quite so Chaotic Day

Pessimism and Sarcasm

Chapter 23.5

A Quite Chaotic Day, Silhouette's PoV

<Silhouette's PoV>

“So, this catapult...what does it do exactly?” I ask the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who run around their clubhouse building their contraption eagerly, certain it’ll give them their cutie marks.

Scootaloo looks up at me, wiping the sweat off her forehead. “Well, you see…” She dashes past me to the wide, flat part of the catapult, and climbs onto it. Shade climbs onto my back, a wide grin on her face.

Sweetie Belle appears in front of me, gesturing to Scootaloo. “You stand here on the big X.”

“And then you pull this doohicky,” Applebloom says, pointing to a large lever on the side of the catapult.

“And if we did all the complex mathematical calculations right, it’ll launch us right into the pond waaaaaaay over there!” Scootaloo grins at me, the other two joining her on the launch pad. I look out the window to where Scootaloo pointed, but I don’t see any pond. It must be way, way over there.

Shade shrieks excitedly, right in my ear. I hold up a hoof. “But what if you don’t land in the pond? Won’t you get hurt?”

“That’s what these are for!” Applebloom says, bouncing the large pack that all four fillies have strapped to their backs. “Ready to earn our parachuting cutie marks, girls?”

The girls squeal and hop on the pad, and Shade flutters off my shoulder and takes her place beside them, apparently convinced this is a good idea. I suppose if they’ve done all the calculations, though…

“Silhouette, can you pull the lever for us?” Sweetie Belle asks.

My eyes widen, and I try to imagine what Jake would do. I wish he was here - he’d know exactly what’s going on. But, I decide that since helping is what a friend does, it would be okay for me to launch these little ponies out the window of their clubhouse and into a pond several miles away.

As I stand up, the girls’ eyes watch me, brimming with excitement. I turn and wrap my tail around the lever. “Good luck, everypony.”

“We don’t need luck,” Scootaloo says with confidence. “This is our destiny!”

“Okay, then. Here we go.” I pull the lever, jumping back as the launch pad flies forward.

I try to find the CMC, but they’re already in the sky. Faintly, I can hear them screaming the word “destiny.”

I watch them until they disappear completely. “That doesn’t seem too bad.” I look back at the contraption, suddenly realizing how big it is - and how small I am in my pony form. The walls of the Crusaders’ clubhouse tower around me, the room suddenly so empty without its usual tenants. Everything is spinning, but I see the door, seemingly miles away.

Sweat gathers under my mane, and in my panic I burst through the door, returning to my true form.
---
<Big Mac's PoV>

The plowing’s going slowly today, that blue sky above distracting me over and over. I yawn deeply, totally relaxed, the straw between my teeth hanging lazily out of my mouth. Then I hear the screams.

Cutting through the clear sky are the Crusaders. They soar over my head and disappear beyond the apple trees. I yawn again, returning to my work. I’m so used to these cutie mark schemes, the only thing that matters at this point is that those fillies had the good sense to use parachutes this time.

As I tug the plow through the field, a nice rhythm plays. The crumbling of the soil provides the bass line as a pair of birds far off sing a melody. Cicadas drone in the background, and the heavy sound of hoofsteps falling behind me initiate a hair-raising key change. I slow down as the hoofsteps draw closer, realizing that they sound rather too soft to actually be hooves.

I turn toward the source of the noise and the straw falls out of my mouth. A monster is running toward me - bigger than a timberwolf, bigger than any creature I’ve seen before.

“Eeeenope!” My shoulders press tightly against my harness, and I can’t understand why my legs aren’t carrying me as far as their speed would imply. My chest burns from my harness and I finally remember that I’m still attached to the plow. That’s when a massive paw crushes the dirt beside me, showering me in loose soil and pebbles.

This could be it, Big Mac. My eyes peel away from the creature’s long claws and move up its leg, to its gaping mouth with its glistening fangs. Memories of my sisters and Granny Smith flash through my mind. What will they do without me? How will they handle the whole farm themselves?

The creature lowers its body to the ground, I assume so it can reach me more easily. Applejack, wherever you are, remove your hat out of respect for the dead. I close my eyes and wait for the end.

“Talk to me,” the monster whimpers. I open my eyes again. Its ears are flat against its head, its eyes looking straight at me - each one as big as my head. “Can you talk?”

It looks like Winona when she’s begging for scraps. My heart pounds wildly and I look around for help.

“Please talk to me!” it says louder, tears forming below its eyes.

I open my mouth, but my throat is suddenly hoarse. “Ee-yup,” I wheeze.

The creature’s ears perk up and it sits back on its hindlegs. “You can talk! Oh, I’m so relieved!”

“Eeyup,” I repeat, looking around again. Applejack should be coming home soon, shouldn’t she?

“Oh, but you can’t speak well. I mean, you have a hard time talking to others.”

I look back and see its ears are lowering again. I kick at the dirt on the ground, focusing on my hooves. Then I feel something cold and wet press against my ears. I glance up and see the dark fur on its chest.

“It’s okay,” it says as it nuzzles me. “I just need someone to be with. I’m afraid of being alone.”
---
<Applejack's PoV>

The tall trees of Sweet Apple Acres peek out at me from over the hill like the pigs from over their feeding trough. Finally I’m home - and I think that blue flu has worn off, too. I knew that Discord was fooling us again.

I look up from my once-again orange hooves and glance over the fields. The sunlight weaves through the freshly plowed soil, glistening off...what is that?

A few steps closer and I can see Big Macintosh. My heart skips a beat as I see the figure beside him - some sort of monster. A humongous monster, with humongous teeth.

The adrenaline shoots straight into my legs and I set off faster than a blue ribbon pole bender at an Appleoosa rodeo. “No monster’s making a meal of my big brother, you hear?” I cry, storming down to the field.

As I get closer, the monster gets bigger, and it becomes clear to me that if Big Mac and I are going to make it out of this one, I’ll have to use my brains as well as my strength. Instead of running straight up to it and bucking its giant muzzle, I pull out my two trusty good-luck apples from inside my mane. A quick kiss to each of them and I throw them to the air, turning around to kick them right at the behemoth.

Direct hit! The monster brushes applesauce from its coat, then turns to look at me. As I look back at it, I suddenly can’t feel my legs. It’s not coming after me, just staring - and it’s big, dark eyes look familiar.

It takes advantage of my momentary distraction, and before I know it I’m up in the air, between its claws. Then I’m dropped into a dark world, and it’s wet and cramped.

“Oh no, you don’t!” I yell, but I feel the moist walls squeezing around me. I’m slipping deeper into the darkness, then a floor appears below me. A burst of air pushes me up and the world is bright again. I tumble onto a padded ground, my soaked mane falling over my eyes. With a shaky hoof, I lift my mane to find myself face to face with the monster and its dark grey eyes.
---
<Silhouette's PoV>

Great, Silhouette! You nearly ate a friend! I remember exactly how she felt, barely a lump in my throat, hooves pressing desperately against my esophagus. It’s not like I’d let her get hurt! I could easily transform my stomach to keep her safe.

Now she’s on her back in my paw, looking up at me with her terrified eyes. My throat is sore from all the coughing. Applejack’s mouth slowly opens and she lets out a tiny squeak.

“Ah’m alive!” she cries, shivering in my paw.

“Of course,” I say, laughing awkwardly. “I’m sorry, Applejack. Just got a little excited.”

She tilts her head, perking up her ears. “Wait, Silhouette?”

I try to smile without showing my teeth, and lowering her to the ground, I begin to change back to my anthropomorphic form.

“It is you!” she says. “What in tarnation? What is going on? Ah thought you were with the Crusaders!"

“Well, it’s a funny story,” I start, looking at Big Mac.
---

Back at the library, I sit by Jake, listening to Cadance and Twilight talk about their day. Seems this Discord fellow was causing trouble for everypony today. I try to remember seeing a draconequus, hoping I could blame accidentally swallowing Applejack on somepony else.

“Guess we’ve all had pretty rough days,” Jake says, distracting himself with some game on his little machine.

The front door opens and we look over to see Shade, mane and tail soaked and riddled with twigs. She stumbles over to us, her eyes spinning.

Jake sets down his game and picks the little filly up. “Please explain,” he says.

Comments

[TheVirginianist]

Dude! I'm (fucking) confused now! What is this?!

As I tug the plow through the field, a nice rhythm plays. The crumbling of the soil provides the bass line as a pair of birds far off sing a melody. Cicadas drone in the background, and the heavy sound of hoofsteps falling behind me initiate a hair-raising key change. I slow down as the hoofsteps draw closer, realizing that they sound rather too soft to actually be hooves.

I turn toward the source of the noise and the straw falls out of my mouth. A monster is running toward me - bigger than a timberwolf, bigger than any creature I’ve seen before.

“Eeeenope!” My shoulders press tightly against my harness, and I can’t understand why my legs aren’t carrying me as far as their speed would imply. My chest burns from my harness and I finally remember that I’m still attached to the plow. That’s when a massive paw crushes the dirt beside me, showering me in loose soil and pebbles.

This could be it, Big Mac. My eyes peel away from the creature’s long claws and move up its leg, to its gaping mouth with its glistening fangs. Memories of my sisters and Granny Smith flash through my mind. What will they do without me? How will they handle the whole farm themselves?

The creature lowers its body to the ground, I assume so it can reach me more easily. Applejack, wherever you are, remove your hat out of respect for the dead. I close my eyes and wait for the end.

“Talk to me,” the monster whimpers. I open my eyes again. Its ears are flat against its head, its eyes looking straight at me - each one as big as my head. “Can you talk?”

It looks like Winona when she’s begging for scraps. My heart pounds wildly and I look around for help.

“Please talk to me!” it says louder, tears forming below its eyes.

I open my mouth, but my throat is suddenly hoarse. “Ee-yup,” I wheeze.

The creature’s ears perk up and it sits back on its hindlegs. “You can talk! Oh, I’m so relieved!”

“Eeyup,” I repeat, looking around again. Applejack should be coming home soon, shouldn’t she?

“Oh, but you can’t speak well. I mean, you have a hard time talking to others.”

I look back and see its ears are lowering again. I kick at the dirt on the ground, focusing on my hooves. Then I feel something cold and wet press against my ears. I glance up and see the dark fur on its chest.

“It’s okay,” it says as it nuzzles me. “I just need someone to be with. I’m afraid of being alone.”

And this:

I look up from my once-again orange hooves and glance over the fields. The sunlight weaves through the freshly plowed soil, glistening off...what is that?

A few steps closer and I can see Big Macintosh. My heart skips a beat as I see the figure beside him - some sort of monster. A humongous monster, with humongous teeth.

The adrenaline shoots straight into my legs and I set off faster than a blue ribbon pole bender at an Appleoosa rodeo. “No monster’s making a meal of my big brother, you hear?” I cry, storming down to the field.

As I get closer, the monster gets bigger, and it becomes clear to me that if Big Mac and I are going to make it out of this one, I’ll have to use my brains as well as my strength. Instead of running straight up to it and bucking its giant muzzle, I pull out my two trusty good-luck apples from inside my mane. A quick kiss to each of them and I throw them to the air, turning around to kick them right at the behemoth.

Direct hit! The monster brushes applesauce from its coat, then turns to look at me. As I look back at it, I suddenly can’t feel my legs. It’s not coming after me, just staring - and it’s big, dark eyes look familiar.

It takes advantage of my momentary distraction, and before I know it I’m up in the air, between its claws. Then I’m dropped into a dark world, and it’s wet and cramped.

“Oh no, you don’t!” I yell, but I feel the moist walls squeezing around me. I’m slipping deeper into the darkness, then a floor appears below me. A burst of air pushes me up and the world is bright again. I tumble onto a padded ground, my soaked mane falling over my eyes. With a shaky hoof, I lift my mane to find myself face to face with the monster and its dark grey eyes.

And Even this!:

Great, Silhouette! You nearly ate a friend! I remember exactly how she felt, barely a lump in my throat, hooves pressing desperately against my esophagus. It’s not like I’d let her get hurt! I could easily transform my stomach to keep her safe.

Now she’s on her back in my paw, looking up at me with her terrified eyes. My throat is sore from all the coughing. Applejack’s mouth slowly opens and she lets out a tiny squeak.

“I’m alive!” she cries, shivering in my paw.

“Of course,” I say, laughing awkwardly. “I’m sorry, Applejack. Just got a little excited.”

She tilts her head, perking up her ears. “Wait, Silhouette?”

I try to smile without showing my teeth, and lowering her to the ground, I begin to change back to my anthropomorphic form.

“It is you!” she says. “What in tarnation? What is going on? I thought you were with the Crusaders!"

“Well, it’s a funny story,” I start, looking at Big Mac.

---

Back at the library, I sit by Jake, listening to Cadance and Twilight talk about their day. Seems this Discord fellow was causing trouble for everypony today. I try to remember seeing a draconequus, hoping I could blame accidentally swallowing Applejack on somepony else.

“Guess we’ve all had pretty rough days,” Jake says, distracting himself with some game on his little machine.

Care to explain, cause I'm GODAMN (FUCKING) CONFUSED right now on what's going on??!!

[Jerec the Ascendant]

7304009 Switching points of views. First one you pointed out is Big Mac, second is Applejack, and third is back to Silhouette.

[TheVirginianist]

7304150 Well you didn't say who is who in that Point of View, so that's still confusing! And I don't understand what happened to Silhouette after she left the CMC's Clubhouse.

I watch them until they disappear completely. “That doesn’t seem too bad.” I look back at the contraption, suddenly realizing how big it is - and how small I am in my pony form. The walls of the Crusaders’ clubhouse tower around me, the room suddenly so empty without its usual tenants. Everything is spinning, but I see the door, seemingly miles away.

Sweat gathers under my mane, and in my panic I burst through the door, returning to my true form.

Can you tell me what is up with that? Cause I'm still confused about that, man!

[FurryBrony]

7304162 Seems like monophobia, or the fear of being alone.

[TheVirginianist]

7304240 But she's not alone, she has friends now. That makes no sense.

(Sigh) Be nice if Jerec would tell me that instead.

[Jerec the Ascendant]

7304246 The person explained it spot on, Silhouette is afraid of being left alone, being by herself.

[TheVirginianist]

7304269 Shouldn't she get over it? I mean, I know being by yourself is a bad thing, but sometimes you have to get over it. Now if I remember correctly, she has friends, but if she fears of being alone, by herself, she shouldn't have a problem of being by herself.... ((Sigh) if she's smart that is) and that if she is brave and all. Get it?

I mean this is the whole Shade being afraid of Unicorn's and Magic all over again!

[Jerec the Ascendant]

7304281 Dude, it's a phobia, a severe irrational fear. You can't, just get over a phobia. I should know, I have one. I have Acrophobia, or the fear of heights. I can't even stand on a kitchen counter without getting, at least, nervous. Silhouette has a phobia of being left alone, by herself in a room or whatever. Shade has a phobia of strange magic using ponies.

[TheVirginianist]

7304307 I understand, but still... I just feel sorry for them, AND you! And I CAN'T HANDLE SEEING OTHERS FEELING (FUCKING) HURT OVER IT!!!

(Sigh) I'm sorry, Jerec. I just can't stand that kind of thing. I mean I know that's how you made it, but... I just can't stand it and feel sorry for them, ya know. I told you that I fear of loosing my limps, remember? First you tell me that Shade is afraid of Unicorns and magic & that you tell me you're afraid of heights, and now, you're telling me that Silhouette is afraid?

(Sigh) Now I just feel sorry for Shade and Silhouette (and you of course Jerec), having to have something to be afraid of. I seriously can't stand of those guys being afraid of something. Sometimes.... they just have to face their fears sometimes, you know what I mean? I know you already told me the reason of it, but will they get over it later, or sooner, on in the future chapters of this story?

[Jerec the Ascendant]

7304328 Dude, phobias are really hard to get over. They stick with you for a long time. Will they become easier for them to deal with, sure. Will they get over them completely, not likely. That's just how it is.

[TheVirginianist]

7304359 I'm sorry Jerec..... Just can't stand it is all.

There's no cure for Phobias and/or Acrophobia? At all?

[Jerec the Ascendant]

7304367 So far as I know, no.

[TheVirginianist]

7304390 .......Okay....

I'm seriously sorry for getting upset over it Jerec. As I said before, I just can't stand it is all. Can we work something out later on?