Pessimism and Sarcasm

by Jerec the Ascendant

More Discoveries Both Malevolent and Benign

Pessimism and Sarcasm
Chapter 24
More Discoveries Both Malevolent and Benign

The afternoon sun disappears as the Crusaders and I enter the Everfree Forest. Shade, the newest crusader, flies in peppy circles around us. We’re on our way to Zecora’s hut to see if she shows any promise in potion making.

Seeing how excited she is makes me worry - we still have no idea if she can earn a Cutie Mark. Hopefully she’ll have fun, at least. One of us should. I groan, dragging my feet, tired from my first day back to work at the spa.

We walk along the all too familiar path to the hut, clambering over fallen tree trunks and splashing through mud. Soon the large patch of poison joke comes into view, and Applebloom shivers as we sidle past it.

“Be careful,” she says, “Those plants play odd pranks.”

“Oh, I know,” I say. “I remember ‘Hairity’ and ‘Spitty Pie.’”

“And they flipped Rainbow Dash’s wings upside down!” Scootaloo chimes in.

“And they shrunk my sister down to the size of a cupcake!”

Shade’s belly grumbles. “I want cupcakes.”

“We can stop by Sugarcube Corner on the way home,” I say.

“I wonder what prank the poison joke would pull on you two,” Sweetie Belle muses. “Maybe it’d turn you into a pony, Jake!”

I smile at the idea, but still try to keep away from the blue flowers.

Soon enough, the trees part and Zecora’s hut comes into view.

“Zecora!” Applebloom hollers. “Are you home?”

The door slowly opens and the zebra’s head appears. “Ah, Applebloom, my sweet. A surprise visit - what a treat!” Her eyes widen as they land upon me and Shade. “Hmm. Though Twilight had informed me of her guests so new, I never could have imagined you two! A young alicorn and a creature so tall...please, warn me now if these surprises are not all!”

“Well, you don’t have too much more to worry about,” I answer. “There’s still Silhouette, but she’s with Pinkie Pie today. I’m sure all three of us at once would be too much of a shock.”

Zecora looks confused. “She is the young mare whom this morning I met - but there was nothing strange about this Silhouette.”

“She’s a shapeshifter, and as alien to this world as I am,” I say. “Just ask Applebloom. The other day Sil almost had Applejack as an Apple-snack.”

“It’s true!” Applebloom cries. “She told us all about it - Silhouette became this giant wolf monster and nearly ate Applejack by accident. Applejack said Sil was huge, larger than anything she’d ever seen!”

Shade nods her head. “She must’ve been in her pony form so she didn’t scare you,” she says to Zecora. “At the library, she usually goes around in a...Jake form?” I squint my eyes at her, smiling.

“Mixed with a wolf,” I add.

“Right.”

Zecora looks between us, still confused. But she shakes her head and turns away. “When next I see her, I will request to see. However, I have yet to offer you all tea.”

As she begins brewing the tea, the Cutie Mark Crusaders shuffle awkwardly. Finally, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle shove Applebloom forward.

“Uh, say, Zecora,” she says, “We were wondering if you could teach Shade here some potion making. She’s trying to earn her Cutie Mark too.”

Zecora looks up from her cauldron. “Ah yes, another flank that is blank...but Applebloom, tell me this is not a prank.”

Shade flutters onto my shoulder, and I feel her tiny body shake. Applebloom asks, “What do you mean?”

“I think she’s saying that she isn’t sure Shade has the ability to earn a Cutie Mark,” I respond.

Zecora nods, closing her eyes. “I understand from Twilight that Shade here is unique. It is her origins about which I speak.” Shade digs her hooves into my shoulder. “I do not wish to be unhelpful, though - so we may try. Just be aware that your destiny, we may not find.”

Shade flies down to the ground again and stands up straight. “I want to see, Ms. Zecora. Please.”

Zecora smiles sweetly at her. “Then let us cease with these commotions, and find a Cutie Mark in potions.”

---

“Well, somepony has to explain what’s going on,” I say.

A projector screen has been set up in the library, and upon it is the commercial break image for Gundam Wing. The video is paused and Shade and I look around at the mane six, all surprised by our presence; the anime was playing too loudly for them to hear us enter.

I cross my arms and look at Twilight, who blushes deeply, then vanishes in a flash of purple light.

Rainbow Dash shrugs. “Twilight showed us this show she found on your box thing,” she says, gesturing to my laptop, which seems to be magically projecting the anime onto the screen. “I don’t know, I guess it’s pretty cool.”

“Pretty cool?” Applejack says. “You know you’re crazier for those mobile suits than a prize pig is for slop.”

Rarity lets out a whine. “Can we cease with the pig talk and go back to that high society party scene? I didn’t have the time to finish sketching my inspiration from those marvelous costumes.”

“Actually, I feel like we should cease with Gundam Wing completely,” I say, a little hoarsely. I clear my throat and close my laptop. I have to step over Fluttershy to do so, as she’s curled up on the ground, shivering with her hooves over her eyes. I don’t know if she’s afraid of me or the anime, but I don’t bother asking.

Instead, I cough again and ask where a certain purple alicorn went.

“Oh, she’s right behind you, trying to sneak out the door!” Pinkie says.

I turn and see Twilight. She laughs nervously. “Well, see. I kind of memorized your password, since I’ve seen you type it so many times.”

“But why are you watching this partic-” I’m interrupted by my own coughing. My throat is suddenly burning, and as I notice this, I also realize my vision is blurring and my arms feel itchy.

“Jake?” Twilight asks, no longer nervous. “Are you all right? What’s happening to your face?”

“My face?” I say, with a sort of lisp. My tongue seems to have swollen up.

Pinkie Pie jumps in front of me. “You sound just like I did when we ran into that poison joke!”

Shade gasps. “Do you think that’s why your arms and cheeks are getting all red and puffy?”

“Oh no,” Fluttershy says, looking up. “You didn’t walk through any of those horrible flowers, did you?”

“No, we made sure to stay out of them,” I manage to say. “But maybe this is just an allergic reaction to something we passed in the forest.”

“I can take a few scans of you to try to solve this,” Twilight says. “I’ve been meaning to work on my medical magic.

She steps closer to me and lights up her horn. But before she can do anything else, her magic flickers out and her horn slumps against her forehead like it’s made of rubber.

“Huh? What’s going on?” she asks.

“Ith juth ly wen we wan indo da poithin ‘oke!”

“What was that, Pinkie Pie? I couldn’t understand you,” Fluttershy says, her voice suddenly much, much deeper.

“Oh goodness no!” Rarity shrieks, running to the other end of the room. “Jake, how dare you try to infect us all again! I will not let my beautiful coat be ruined!”

“It’s okay, everypony!” Twilight shouts. “The spa ponies have Zecora’s remedy now, remember? Why don’t we just go there to take care of this?”

“What if Jake infects anypony else on the way there?” Applejack asks.

The ponies continue discussing what to do with me, but I drag my feet up to my bed. I’m suddenly very tired.

I dream about the town ponies and how the poison joke would affect them. Vinyl Scratch suddenly can’t stop talking, while prim and proper Octavia is horrified to find that she’s become a magnet for mud. Lyra, instead of stalking me like usual, is unable to even see me, and BonBon reacts like Appletini, only she grows larger. Before long, she towers over Ponyville, and everypony runs from her gigantic hooves.

I wake up the next morning to Shade’s soft feather wings brushing against my face.

“Are you feeling any better, Big Bro?” she asks.

I stretch out and then check my arms. They look normal again, to my relief.

“Yeah, a lot better,” I say, with perfect enunciation. “I’m sorry we didn’t find your cutie mark yesterday.”

She shakes her head. “Don’t worry about it. I’m pretty confident that I know who I am already.”

I smile and pull her into a hug, and then we get up to check on Twilight.

Comments

[TheVirginianist]

Hmm. Not much said. Bad the chapter was alright. Even though I haven't at least made ONE MORE appearance, just like you said and probably promised, in this story, but I'm sure your character will see my OC again soon since you're still wondering what my Cutie Mark means. Oh shit, I'm sorry, Jerec! I'm still a bit hyped in wanting to reappear again. But don't worry, man. I'll continue to wait. Just promise me that you won't forget about my final appearance (even though I'm still a bit upset about it) in this fanfic, okay?

Okay so in this Chapter, you're basically were gong to meet Zecora for the first time in this chapter, along with Shade, right? And that you somehow got an Allergic Reaction from the Poisonous Plant in the Everfree Forest, and that you somehow made the other characters react to it as well. And then you had a crazy dream about how your AR will effect the other ponies in Ponyville. Than you wake up, and you'er somehow surprisingly Cured from it and as back to normal. And then that at the end, you decided to go check on Twilight and them see how they're doing. Am I right, Jerec?

(Note: You also forgot to add "Chapter 24:" before "More Discoveries Both Malevolent and Benign" for when we select a chapter. Think you can fix it, please? )

[damnaion]

yay is alive

[Jerec the Ascendant]

7821988 Seeing as the next chapter will be a very particular episode, your character will be making a cameo.

Yes.

Thanks.

7822115
Yup.

[TheVirginianist]

7822124 I see. And after what you said, I can't wait to see myself in that chapter again! Good Luck, man!

Hey I was right! Awesome Job with this chapter too. And Good Luck with/on the next chapter, Jerec!

Thank you and You're Welcome, Jerec!