The Loser's Booth

by Pickleless

It Would Take a Miracle

Celestia could not move. When she woke up, she was against a stone wall next to a crazy clown DJ and a pretty pegasus mare.

"I can beat you both apart!" She screamed, "I can take you both together-"

She felt a hoof clamp over her mouth.

"Sweetheart, the baby woke up." The pegasus groaned.

"She never was a morning pony." The clown replied.

"Can you take care of her?"

"I've been doing so for the last year, I think it's your turn dear."

"Why won't my legs move?" Celestia interrupted.

"You've been exerting yourself for about 20 hours now." The clown explained.

"I had to infuse you with a bit of love energy to help you wake up." The pegasus gave Celestia a friendly smile.

"Who are you?" Celestia snapped, "are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where's Canterlot?"

"Let me explain!" The Pegasus cut her off, "no, there's way too much, lemme sum it up. Chrysalis has brainwashed Celestia and stolen her place. Tonight is the Summer Sun Celebration. She is going to steal the love of every pony in Canterlot in less than...what time is it honey?"

"FEELING FIIIIIINE, WHILE CHECKING THE TIIIIIIIME!!!" The disc jockey screamed out.

His watch pointed towards 5:25.

"We're bucked."

"A little over a half an hour!" The pegasus continued, "so all we have to do is break in, stop the celebration, fix the princess, and make our escape!"

Celestia stared at this Pegasus who was grinning widely at her.

"...None of this is ringing a bell is it?" She said in a flat tone.

"SHE'S NOT A MORNING PONY!!! The obnoxious stallion yelled. "TRY NOT TO BE TOO LOUD OR SHE GETS CRANKY!!!"

Celes sighed, yesterday events were starting to come back to her. "Half an hour right?"

"Yes!" Elmer confirmed.

"That doesn't leave much time for dilly dallying." She tapped her hoof against the wall.

"HAHA YEAH! YOU JUST TAPPED YOUR HOOF! YES! GET THAT LITTLE FILLY HOOF TAP!" Koolaid cheered.

"I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?"

"The least guarded spot is the front gate." The changeling prince lifted Celes up.

Celes saw Canterlot Castle before her. All the townspeople were heading in to dine before the sun was raised. She noticed there was more guards than usual.

"I sense about...600 changelings prowling around the front gate." The changeling prince focused.

"And our assets?"

"Your brains, Electric's strength, my stealth."

"That's it? Impossible. If I had a week to plan, maybe I could come up with something, but this..." She shook her head.

"YOU GOT A HEAD JIGGLE! YOU GOTTA JUST GIGGLE! EVEN IF THINGS LOOK DOWN, WE'LL JUST TURN IT AROUND! BEFORE YOU COULDN'T MOVE! YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE GROOVE! BEFORE YOU WERE A CRIPPLE! BUT NOW YOU CAN JIGGLE!!!"

Second flung her head towards Electric. "My brains, his stealth, and your strength, against 600 changelings, and you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy? Hmmmm?"

Second weakly bumped her head against the wall. "I mean, if we only had a large tub of jelly! THAT would be something."

"Where did we put that huge tub of jelly that creepy pony had?" Flower asked her husband.

"I think we stuffed the creepy pony in it and left it in the back alley a block away."

"Why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?" Second sighed. "What I wouldn't give for a two cannons!"

"Sorry squirt, can't help you there." Flower shrugged.

Sitting on his hind legs, Electric reached into his small, tight fitting jacket with both of his hooves and pulled out two large pony sized party cannons.

"Would this do?"

"Where did you get that?" Flower poked a cannon.

"From a friend of mine named Pinkie. I thought it was so cool she let me have five of them."

"You're friends with the element of laughter?!?" Fields shouted. "No no no, of COURSE you're friends with the element of laughter. Why wouldn't you be? ...Wait, are you carrying five cannons in your coa-"

"All right, all right. Come on, help me up." Second grunted as Flower placed her on her back. "I'll need some form of a weapon eventually."

Flower frowned, "why? You can't even lift one."

"True, but that's hardly common knowledge is it?" Second fell off and face-planted into the stone ground. Electric picked her up with his magic, and put her back on Flower's back. Second decided to ignore the blood running down her nose. "Thank you. Now, there may be problems once we're inside."

"I'll say. How do we stop Celestia? Once we do, how do we kill Chrysalis? Once we kill Mom, how do we escape?

Electric scowled, "don't pester her. She's had a hard day."

"Sugar Bear, we've all had a hard day." Flower rolled her eyes.

The family crept down the wall they were hiding behind.

"Flower?" Koolaid murmured.

"Yes?"

I hope we win."

---

Chrysalis was currently grooming her celestial mane. Turning to Celestia, she petted her cheek and gave a malicious grin.

"Well Celly, it's almost time to raise the sun, isn't it?"

"Yes." Celestia responded in a empty tone.

"Wouldn't want to disappoint all your precious little subjects would we?"

"No, I wouldn't."

"You remember what to do right?"

"I will sit back here and raise the sun, while you help me by greeting all the ponies."

"Yes, I know how hard things have been on you. Poor Celly, having to manage all of Equestria..."

"Yes, things have been very hard."

"That's why I'm here to help!" Chrysalis cackled, "You just back and raise the sun, I'll take care of the rest."

"Thank you, Chrysalis." Celestia's eyes started to droop.

"No problem Celly, after all, what are friends for?"

Chrysalis suppressed her laughter. Soon. Soon she could laugh all she wants as all of Canterlot dug itself an early grave. Chrysalis loved being a changeling. She never grew tired of the fact she ended other lives by tricking them into killing themselves. That they handed her whatever she wanted on a silver platter as slowly were drained to death.

Still, she learned her lesson from before. No gloating until it REALLY ends. Because of last time, she almost felt more nervous than excited. Only 20 minutes to go, and she started to break out in nervous sweat. 'Nothing will go wrong.' She told herself. 'Your stupid son is sobbing away in a bar. It's unfortunate that we couldn't use the decoy Celestia instead of the real one, but she was only made to help make sure things go right. The real Celestia being brainwashed will do. As long as nothing distracts her as she's raising the sun, nothing should go wrong.

Suddenly, alarm and panic were sent to her by a couple of drones plastered to the wall by some strange sticky substance. Scowling, she tried to look through the eyes of drones and found the crazy killer clown was on top the wall blasting her subjects with goo. With a scowl, she sent the order to subdue the little nuisance. When her drones started to get close, the DJ ducked behind the wall to run. Chrysalis laughed in sadistic glee. Ponies acted big and tough, but when she had them cornered, all they had ever done was cower in fear and ran with their tail between their legs.

She flinched when ten of her drones got plastered to a wall again. Turning to see what idiot was causing this now, she gasped in surprise to see the same garish pony standing on the opposite wall with a cannon blasting changelings. Snarling, she reenforced her order to capture that pony. Now wanting him alive for causing her so much trouble. Chrysalis smirked, this pony was fighting for a lost cause.

A pony who could teleport was very rare. A pony who could teleport more then twice a day was even more rare. Anypony who grew up in Ponyville might be mislead to believe teleporting was a simple act. Twilight Sparkle made the near impossible look easy when it came to magic. The lime-green pony disappeared behind the wall again. Chrysalis was sure now she wanted this one alive if it could teleport twice. She would somepony to hunt down any rebels, and she couldn't think of anypony better than some powerful idiot who had tried to play hero.

Her cocky grin slowly turned into one of disbelief as the minutes went by. The unicorn had teleported eight times now, and she was down to 50 changelings. How a disc jockey had managed to take down almost 600 changelings baffled her. Chrysalis bit down on her forehooves in fear as her last changeling ran towards the cannon user. She was about to call it off when she noticed something.

The clown was out of ammo.

Chrysalis broke out a evil laugh as her last changeling now took it's time flying towards the idiot. Both of them wearing a wicked grin.

---

"I'm out of jelly what do I do?!?" Flower screamed at Second.

Second, who was dozing off behind the wall stared blankly at her mother disguised as her father. "Well, what do have on hand?"

"A giant empty jar of jelly, a unconscious creepy pony covered in jelly, and an empty cannon."

---

The disguised changeling lazily flew up to the stupid clown as it fumbled with it's cannon. It landed about 30 feet away and gave the frustrated DJ a smug grin.

"What now, pony-"

Suddenly, the changeling was blasted into the wall by a large, sticky object. Before it could rise and look at what hit it, a giant jar was levitated over it, catching the changeling. Before he could get out, it's lid was quickly screwed on tight. Using magic, the insane unicorn drilled a couple breathing holes into the jar.

---

Ignoring the actual ponies running around in terror, Second, Electric, and Flower ran towards the Castle.

"How much time has passed?!?" Flower yelled, panting.

Electric glanced down at his watch, "TEN MINUTES DOWN MARE! WE HAVE TEN TO SPARE!"

"Flower, you said you had a plan right?" Second asked.

"Yeah! I have to do it now before everypony-"

"Go slip in and do it then!" Second yelled, "Dad and I will barge in through the front and grab everypony's attention! We have to get to the throne room anyway!"

"Good luck, don't die on me!" Flower planted a kiss on Electric and Second's cheek and ran off.

Barging into the castle, Electric Koolaid generated a hallucinogenic field around him as he plowed his way to the throne room. Standing in front of the were five mares he wasn't familiar with and Pinkie Pie.

"PIIIIIIINKIE PIIIIIIIIE!!!!" Electric screamed, "GET OUT OF THE BUCKING WAAAAAAAY!!!"

"Pinkie, you KNOW this madpony?!?" The alabaster one recoiled in disgust.

"Hiya Koolaid!" Pinkie pulled out a party cannon.

Second suppressed a scream as Koolaid flung her onto a nearby chair.

Electric Koolaid charged towards the Elements of Harmony.

Author's Note:

It's hard to say if this story is more comedic or sad, I'm going to have to regretfully say I failed at sad, and will switch it out for comedy/dark.

Comments

[The Letter J]

Hey, I was just thinking about this story.

I see that it has turned into The Princess Bride. Not that I'm complaining.

[Punk Rock Prom Queen]

Yay! an update! Great chapter, sticking the changeling in a jar was hilarious. Keep up the good work

[Pickleless]

4837559
Only for a second. Besides, there's never enough Princess Bride.

[The Letter J]

4837571
This is entirely true.

[kamachakta]

Grah! Why haven't I fave'd this earlier!