Adventures in Equestria

by finalforce12

Change in Plans

Author's Note:

Ok...ok I get it, I suck at fan fiction... But hey, IM ONLY IN MIDDLE SCHOOL! YOU TRY AT MY AGE! Anyway, this is more, well, showing more dimensions....sorta...

Elize's perspective

*sigh* I know Ellie isn't like this.....she's not even mean! Something is in her brain, and it's taking her over... I may be a tiny tot of an angel, but I am not letting her life slip from my hands, not today......not now....not ever....

"ELLIE! PLEASE! STOP YOUR NONSENSE AND COME BACK TO ME!"

I yelled into her heart, but now I see that the devil's darkness has reached her innocence...

"Hahahahahaha....And what in the name of the devil do you plan I will return to your poor, stupid pity?! I am Ellie, a true master of the dark devils, not a pathetic pitiful angel who respects a traitor and one minder of a ruler!"

Ellie spat in foulness, and I had to wait for the right moment... Her beautiful tan eyes had faded and had become just plain grey, while her hair, before wavy and silky, now spiky and tough, like she never brushed.

I watched as she pulled out a knife and moved closer to me, and as she got closer, it was time.

"If you don't return back to me... SUFFER AS A REFLECTION!"

I yanked out the special jr. warrior angelic sword and got ready to slash her. I had slashed her wings off, and she screamed in pain and agony.

"YO...YOU LITTLE.......I SWEAR ON MY AFTERLIFE, I WILL KILL YOU!"

She howled with pain, as I took out a big mirror from the village, not too far away. As I got ready, I had to end her quickly then put her in the mirror. She seemed more insane and evil than before I slashed the wings clean off, and had gotten ready for a deadly blow. I, too, powered up for the final blow, and as I started to end the battle, I had whispered softly

"I will always love you...sweet, sweet sister..."

My attack blew her away and had put her into the mirror, as I cried softly. I knew this wasn't the last time for her chaos, and she did too. As I walked away I had heard Ellie mumble something

"I hate you...."

"AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH! ELLIE! I'M SO SORRY! I JU- Oh....heh heh...."

Another flashback....these are really getting common....I swear, Emma can't see a mile from a minute when I could get knocked out and dragged to...well.....heck. Easy, ol girl....soon enough I can get back to the human world with Emma at my side.....just hope Ellie can't kill her, no, should I say, Ellie WOULDN'T kill Emma....can she? Well, that's gonna be answered....of course she bucking can! That's like asking yourself should you try suicide or get nosebleeds! I kept thinking, and since it's still daylight, maybe a walk could be relaxing...

I walked around, and tripped, or, excuse me...."STUMBLED" into the Everfree Forest. Walking around and forgetting I am a walking flashlight, I heard someone walking around.

"H...hello? Is anypony here?"

Did I REALLY just say "anypony" *hiss* GAH! This reminds me of Slender.....a biiit too much, actually... Then, the sounds stopped, and then.....blackout. I woke up a few minutes later and looked a little weak. I had 2 bite marks on....my...neck.... Now, I've seen too many vampire movies and played too many vampire-based video games to know, I got bit by a vampony.....Oh, wonderful, genius! NOW WHAT?! I found an old sweater in a saddle bag, and lucky me, It was a green hoodie. I slipped it on and it looked like it belonged to a pegusus with a hole on the top of the hood. I flew off, wearing sunglasses, and went to visit the hospital.

"Now, Rosey will wake up, and she will try to talk. You must stay here and keep her company, understood?"

The nurse said sweetly, and all I wanted to do was nod. I walked in and waited for Emma to wake up. As I waited, I started to fall asleep, and had a flashb- Wait a minute...it's not a flashback.....it's a vision!

"What happened?! Mom? Dad? Kiara? Where are you?! Everything is gone...everything from me is gone....I lost my family, my pets....everything..."

"Sis? Elize? Is that you?I'm in our room! In the closet! Hurry, help me!"

Waking up, Emma seemed to look more better, and her face looked more full than before.

Hi, frand....how are you?

Fine, you?

Doing great...hey, Elize?

Yeah?

How long until I get to use magic or fly?

A week, but guess what?

What?

We are going back home....we just need to bust you out, so change in plans. I will heal your magic so you can use magic for a day, ok?

Ok, and....thanks. I owe you one...

After I gave her magic for a day, I had spawned a portal to get us out, and had left a note. Swirling back into the peach colored portal, Emma flopped on her stomach, and I had landed on my feet.

"Ugh...showoff..."

Emma mumbled, but I kept my mouth shut. My vision wasn't lying....the entire world had gone down in flames...

Comments

[Blaze Spectrum]

First of all, short chapters really put people off from reading your story. Sure, while some people love short and sweet chapters, those are generally about a thousand words average.

I won't sugar coat. This story isn't good. It's high literature compared to some stories on the site, but it's anything but good. For starters, I suggest being more descriptive. The pace is so fast I really only follow the basic details. Sure, there are extras, but I really would like more.

I'll still throw in a like for encouragement. Trust me, you'll get better with experience.

[finalforce12]

Thanks, but being in middle school and moving away from a bad path can get to you. To be honest, I never really liked to write or do anything related to story telling, until the first grade... Now that I'm being more interested into the world's ways, I'm seeing more and more things happening.

But, thanks for being honest. I know I suck at story telling, but it's only a start....