Chapter XI: Dig
Chapter XI: Dig
“I’ve never seen the ocean like this.”
The words echoed, returning as flat as the water itself. Flash silently glared at the moon and its glassy reflection, grinding his teeth for several moments before he turned to look at the princess. “I-I’ve never seen the ocean. Ocean.”
Luna smiled, and took a step toward Flash. “You have—”
“Ocean.”
Her smile didn’t falter, though she did pause for a moment. “You have a very good imagination.”
Flash turned away from her to watch his own hooves poke at the beach. Sand crunched quietly underneath Luna’s hooves as she approached Flash. She sat next to him, then tilted her head over and tried to make eye contact as he leaned lower and lower. With his nose touching the sand he said, “I’m huge.”
Luna remained as placid as the water. “You should visit the ocean sometime. Perhaps you and Twilight could take a trip.”
“Now. She’s here now!” Flash sat up sharply, then leaned back to let Luna see the miniature Twilight that was walking around his hooves. “Take a trip. Trip!” He punted Twilight across the sand and watched her tumble a few feet before picking her up by the tail and jiggling her to shake loose the sand.
Twilight quickly vanished as Luna pushed herself into Flash’s line of vision. “Flash! What has gotten into you? Why would you do that to Twilight?”
Flash shoved her out of his face, then clambered to his hooves and kicked up a small spray of sand. “Think. THINK! Where do you th-think all these teeth came from?” He illuminated his horn and lifted two more small Twilights, swinging them at each other so that their heads collided with a muted thump. They landed on the beach with tiny grunts, spitting out a few grains of sand each, then clambered to their hooves and sobbed. After watching for a moment Flash said, “It d-doesn’t hurt much. Personal. Not very personal…”
His words sank to a whisper, drawing Luna closer as her frown grew, until he abruptly sat up straight and declared in his best old-timey accent, “The moon's an arrant thief, and her pale fire she snatches from the sun.”
The moon’s reflection wavered in Luna’s wide eyes as she flared her nostrils. Before she could voice the questions in her throat, Flash turned to her. “You’re not very good at this. This. Sister. You. Nightmare. Named yourself Nightmare, but she, she is so much better than you. Did she get bored? Lapdog. Sent you to make nightmares. Nightmares. You, you…”
“I HAVE NOT BEGUN TO—” She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes, then inhaled through her nostrils before pushing the air out through her mouth and opening her eyes. “I don’t understand what’s going on, but I can’t imagine that Twilight would choose to be a with a stallion who—”
“And she didn’t. Didn’t. Didn’t choose me. Maybe you’re n-not so bad at this. At least you have the deee-decency to harass me in person.”
Luna pinched her eyebrows together and took a deep breath. “I was of the understanding that Twilight did in fact say ‘yes.’”
Every muscle in Flash’s body tensed at once. His breathing quickened as he began grinding his teeth. “She says ‘yes’ to a lot of stallions.”
“Flash, I don’t…” Luna sighed. “Princess Celestia had asked me to respect the privacy of your and Twilight’s dreams, so there is much context I am missing. If this nightmare is about fear of betrayal, then I can assure you that Twilight is a very virtuous mare.”
Flash snorted.
“I can’t imagine that she is even capable of infidelity. Why would you think otherwise?”
“Well, I’m n-not as SMART as she is. Smart. But th-the, figure, it’s proof, argue.” He looked up and for the first time made eye contact with Luna. “Pregnant.”
Luna smiled a smile that a million paranoid foals must have seen as reassuring. “Surely you don’t believe simple rumors? Where did you hear this despicable lie?”
“Your dear sweet sister noticed w-when we came to ask her blessing. Her, her. Noticed.”
One skeptical eyebrow inched its way up Luna’s forehead. “Princess Celestia told you that Twilight is pregnant?”
Flash didn’t so much nod as wobble without breaking eye contact.
Luna’s eyes became distant as the beach and ocean blurred slightly. After a moment her shoulders sagged, as if she was actually supporting the weight of the moon. “I-I can’t believe this. You must have been devastated. You and Celestia both. I’m so sor—”
“Happy! She seemed awfully happy to, when I, stupid, when I-I took the blame so, so she could have her perfect little princess. Stupid. Perfect. Forget me. Forgets.”
Flash turned toward Luna and stood up. Her head was still drooped toward the sand, eyes unfocused and distant, when she began speaking. “Even if Twilight did make a horrible mistake, I refuse to believe that—”
Luna looked up, and leapt backward with a gasp. The moon and the night sky had disappeared; in their place, Celestia’s mane filled the sky, illuminating the stubby remnants of Flash’s wings.
“This nightmare needs to end now. Flash, WAKE UP!”
Polished stainless countertops glistened coldly under the fluorescent lighting. Somepony bumped into the doors of a medicine cabinet, drawing Flash’s attention with a melodic tinkling of glass vials. He blinked several times, then laid his head back and looked toward the ceiling. Undulating stripes of sparkling pastels filled his vision, and in the center was her face, smiling down at him, her eyes a cruel mockery of compassion.
Straps dug into Flash’s legs as he tried to get up, holding him until half a dozen scrubs-clad guards could lunge forward, piling on top of him and immobilizing him completely. A glass bottle hit the floor and shattered. Moments later, the sharp odor of antiseptic made its way to Flash’s nose. Suddenly aware of the weight of the guards sitting on his wings, Flash began to hyperventilate. Somepony called out, “He’s awake, get the doctor!”
Flash screamed until there was no air left in his lungs. But the scream continued, fueled by the contents of his stomach, burning his throat and sinuses as he convulsed. He felt a sharp pinch in his neck, and waited for the slowly spreading warmth to reach his head.
A soft orange light accompanied the warmth on Flash’s face as he tried to place the tune. It was something from Night Light’s collection. Somewhere between a sonata and smooth jazz. A loud pop manifested itself just before the end of the song, right where Flash had dropped the needle all those years ago. That had been a memorable tongue lashing, and from then on Flash had been more careful when changing phonograph records. He’d never heard this song without the pop.
He opened his eyes to see the cloudless blue sky framed by dazzlingly white apartment buildings that lined either side of the street. Fuzz coated his tongue, and his teeth were dry. He cleared his throat and swallowed, wincing at the burning sensation in his throat. The bed creaked as he rolled over, then the room continued to spin around him.
“Hey, Flash. It’s good to see you awake.” A burly earth pony was sitting on the floor next to the bed, with bits of cheese stuck to the corners of his mouth. He lifted a plate of vegetables congealed in a mass of grease, slid it onto the nightstand, then wiped his mouth along the entire length of his foreleg. “We heard that you’ve been through some tough stuff. Since this morning?”
Three other familiar faces were looking back at him from around the room. A pale blue unicorn looked at the half-eaten carrot in the crook of his hoof, then discarded it and used his magic to pull a fresh, whole carrot from the next room. He held it out to Flash. “Sorry to eat your food, but we missed lunch waiting for you to wake up.”
Flash looked at the carrot just inches away from his face. Its surface was a bit wrinkly, though it was freshly washed. The smell hit his nose and caused his stomach to growl, sending a chuckle rippling through the room. After a moment of staring at the carrot, Flash turned his face away and looked out the window once more. “Wh—” he cleared his throat again “—what are you all doing here?”
The carrot guy, whose name Flash couldn’t remember, spoke up. “We got the day off guard duty so we could chill in your apartment, hang out, maybe help you through some stuff. Cele—”
A bagel hit him in the ribs. The lanky orange stallion who had thrown the bagel cleared his throat. The unicorn glanced at him and nodded, then turned back to Flash. “Our CO told us that you may be confused and or violent when you woke up. Something about a terrible nightmare? So what's up?”
Flash leaned against the window, letting the glass warm his forehead. Colts and fillies with saddlebags had filled the streets, and were trotting past in small groups. Some laughed and played, running circles around their friends, while others disappeared into the apartment buildings. “I wonder why s-she lets me see th… Why she lets me see the sky.”
Lanky Orange and Carrot Unicorn looked at each other, then both turned to Mister Casserole, who shrugged and looked up at Flash. “Not let you see the sky? What’s she gonna do, put you in the dungeon?”
Twilight snickered, then winked at Flash, covering her muzzle with one hoof.
“Of course I’m in the dungeon,” Flash muttered as he threw a glare at Twilight. “The sky. She never let me dream it before. Sky. T-try. Trying to confuse me. Again. But I know, know why I’m here. Here. I’m here—”
“Flash, buddy.” Mister Casserole had his hoof on Flash’s shoulder, and both of his companions had taken a step back. “You’re awake now. This isn’t a dream.”
“I have wings.” Flash opened his wings and wiggled the feathers, accidentally brushing against the other stallion’s hoof.
Casserole blushed and pulled his hoof back. “Yes, um, they’re, uh, very nice… I guess…”
Lank and Carrot snickered together for a moment before Carrot said, “Don’t worry, he’s far more eloquent about the wings on mares. He can go on, and on, and on.” He fluttered his eyelashes and waved one hoof around, flapping it like a wing.
“Hey! I like mares’ wings! Nothing wrong with that. They’re just so elegant…”
Carrot snorted. “Tee likes wings, and occasionally the mares they’re attached to.”
Flash had stopped listening to their banter, just muttering to himself with increasing volume. “D-do you, you, you think I’m stupid? I am. I was. Love m-makes you stupid! But I’m better now. B-better. Better. Strong. DREAMING!” The three stallions stared at him. “N-not real. None of you has aged a day!”
Lanky Orange said, “I sure hope not. I’d be in sorry shape if I aged a whole day every four hours…”
“I HAVE—” Flash bit down on the joint of one wing, then ripped out a mouthful of feathers “—WINGS!”
Both earth stallions jumped on top of Flash while the unicorn took a step backwards and used magic to help hold him still. Flash didn’t struggle while they spoke calming words, but he spit feathers into the air and sobbed, “Proof, proof, wake up, I’ll wake up, no more lies, wake up…”
______________________________________________
Twilight waited for Flash to wake up.
He wasn’t really asleep, not technically. It was more like a coma. She was holding him tightly enough that she would have known if even one of his muscles had twitched since Celestia went back into his head, and he was barely even breathing. She could feel the heat radiating off of his forehead, though he wasn’t sweating. That was a bad sign, but she was afraid that a cooling spell might somehow interfere with whatever delicate work that Celestia was doing.
Twilight took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Celestia was drooping; her wings were no longer held to her sides, and her face was sagging. After several moments, Celestia took another shallow breath.
This was supposed to have been a nice brunch. The smell of scones was drifting into the room, and Twilight had no doubt that the cucumber sandwiches and tea were being prepared as well. It’s not like Twilight wasn’t used to her life being interrupted by some unfortunate event crashing through town, but those events were usually precipitated by some villain or ancient evil creature. Occasionally Pinkie.
Celestia gasped deeply and dragged her head upward as if pulling a weed out by the roots, then stumbled backward and fell to the floor. Twilight felt Flash’s ribs expand as he took a deep breath, then began to stir. She lifted him to his hooves and ignored whatever it was that Celestia mumbled between great, ragged breaths.
Twilight reached out and turned Flash around so she could see his face. His eyes were vacant, unfocused and empty. She smiled and reached a hoof out toward his face, but he turned away and looked at his wing instead. Behind him, Celestia pushed herself to her hooves and slowly approached the couple as Twilight reached out to touch his face and turn his attention back to her.
“Flash, I love you.” There would be time to explain everything, but that was the most important thing to communicate right now. As long as he knew that, Twilight was sure that everything would work out.
Flash blinked several times before giving a tiny, sad smile. He lifted his left forehoof and placed it tenderly under her chin. A wave of relief washed over Twilight, just knowing that he was still in there, and still loved her. Flash lifted his right hoof into the air, tensing the muscles in his abdomen like he was about to sneeze. Twilight remembered that sometimes ponies would sneeze when exposed to a bright light after being in darkness, but his face didn’t look like he was about to sneeze so much as cry.
Then he hit her.
Twilight was too shocked to dodge the blow. The punch hurt, but not as much as the idea that he would want to hit her. Celestia screamed. Twilight stumbled backwards, watching Flash advance toward her and become progressively more blurry. Tears burned her eyes, returning as quickly as she could blink them away.
Celestia lifted Flash in her magic, halting his advance, though he continued to walk in the air. The golden glow of magic flared briefly and Flash went limp again, letting his eyes flutter closed. Celestia lowered him gently to the chaise lounge and turned to face Twilight, but avoided eye contact. “GUARDS!”
Two unicorns in polished golden armor silently appeared in separate corners of the room, and galloped the few steps to stand by Celestia’s side. Twilight looked at the guards in confusion as Celestia began to speak. “You, take him to the infirmary and have him restrained. You, wake Princess Luna at once and tell her to enter his dreams as soon as possible.” They both nodded, and one disappeared with a blast of pink magic while the other levitated Flash and trotted out the door, kicking it closed behind him.
The thump echoed until it was consumed by the ringing in Twilight’s ears. Celestia reached out to Twilight with soot-stained wings. Twilight shouted wordlessly and pushed her back with a blast of telekinesis, shaking the entire room and knocking a painting to the floor. The gilded wood frame shattered upon impact, sending the gleaming shards skittering across the marble between the two princesses. The canvas, a diplomatic scene of Celestia settling a dispute among epaulette-clad generals, teetered forward and finally fell on its face, raising a small cloud of dust.
Twilight turned to the door and kept staring at it, through it, as if expecting Flash to waltz back into the room. With each exhale, she slumped a few inches closer to the floor until she could see her breaths condensing on the cool marble. “Why… Why would he hit me?” She looked up to her mentor. “I thought you said he loved me? That he gave up everything for me. Why would he… if… What is that supposed to mean? What did you do to him?”
Celestia looked up at the door where Twilight had been staring, then rubbed her eyes with a fetlock. “Maybe now isn’t the best time. I need rest, and I’m not exactly certain on the details. Perhaps it would be better to have a conversation once he wakes up.”
Twilight wiggled her nose and ignored the twinge of pain. “He doesn’t seem interested in talking.” She sniffed and wiped at the tears that she was pretending Celestia couldn’t see.
Celestia pretended not to notice the tears as she glanced to the floor and back up. Twilight couldn’t classify the look on her face, but there was pain in it.
“I never would have thought he could hit me. He’s not that kind of stallion. Not even if he thought… If he… If he believed your lie.” She bit her lip, squeezed her eyes closed, and took a breath before looking up at Celestia again. “There’s more, isn’t there?”
“There wasn’t supposed to be. He was supposed to make a choice, and then I would wake him up and we would all have tea.” She shook her head and sighed, then looked to the door where Flash had disappeared moments ago.
“Tell me. What did you ask him? What happened to him?” Twilight told herself that bad news is bad news. Subjective evaluation of the contents of information changes neither the unfortunate event itself nor its negative consequences. However, that information does help the recipient prepare for or ameliorate the situation in question, which means that bad news is a good thing, because otherwise a pony would be ill-equipped in his or her ignorance. That knowledge didn’t help her feel any bigger than the filly who hid behind a chair in the hospital waiting room while Velvet cried softly on Night Light’s shoulder. But this wasn’t old age, it wasn’t natural, and it wasn’t something that every foal just had to accept as part of life.
“It was his idea; the punishment he chose to bear for you. When he pointed out that he could not have been the father, the pregnancy became evidence of infidelity. He could have chosen to stay with you in forgiveness, or advance his career and standing by abandoning you to the consequences of your actions. He surprised me with a third choice.
“He explained that, since you had chosen this other stallion, you couldn’t be happy with him. Your hypothetical relationship would have been built not on trust and love, but on your debt to him. He was right, of course. He demanded to accept the punishment in your place, leaving you free to pursue your happiness.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes and set her jaw. “What punishment was that, exactly?”
“You have to remember, this is not a punishment I would ever inflict upon you, or any other pony. This is only his worst fear, much like your vision in King Sombra’s dark mirror.”
The similarity had not escaped Twilight’s notice, and neither did the guilty wrinkle that flitted like a pegasus’ shadow over Celestia’s brow before she continued.
“Because substitutionary punishment is not part of our justice system, Flash had to confess to a crime that excused you from any responsibility for your pregnancy.”
Twilight’s eyebrows rose in proportion to her eyes widening. “Oh.”
“I suppose he must have been fixated on the loss of your wings, because the punishment he chose was Grounding. He must have been reading too much ancient histor—”
“Wait. So he’s spent the last half-hour thinking he was going to get his wings chopped off to protect me?”
“No, he—” Celestia stopped and blinked several times. “H-half an hour? I thought…” She slowly sat down, then cleared her throat. “Time passes differently in dreams. Have you ever nodded off while studying, only to wake moments later, though you dreamed of days passing?”
Twilight sucked in a breath through her teeth. “Are you saying that he’s been dreaming for days? What happened in there, in your lie?”
Celestia licked her lips. “When I found him, he had already… His wings had already been removed, and he had been in a cell for some time.”
Twilight felt a muscle in her neck twitch as she gritted her teeth. “Some time? How long, exactly?”
“I can’t be sure. My sister was always better at dreamwalking; I was never very—”
Her words were cut off by the crackle of splinters underhoof as Twilight stomped across the room toward her. Twilight clenched and unclenched her jaw several times while glaring at Celestia, then pinched her eyes shut and began rubbing her temple with one hoof. “Let me get this straight. You performed a spell – which you know to be dangerous – even though you knew that you’re not very good at it?”
“That’s not…” Celestia shook her head, then looked at Twilight from under drooping eyelids. “I misspoke. I haven’t slept in days. It’s not, I mean—”
“You haven’t slept in days? What’s he going to be like when he wakes up?” Twilight crossed her eyes and faked a sudden realization. “Oh, that’s right! Violent and deranged!”
Regal wings slumped to the floor, taking Twilight’s heart with them. “I’m sorry, Twilight. I made a mistake, but I’m sure th—”
“You’re not.” Twilight shoved Celestia with both forehooves.
“Supposed.” She stomped forward before shoving Celestia again.
“To make.” Tears streamed freely from Twilight’s face as she gave one final shove that knocked Celestia over backwards.
“MISTAKES!”
Twilight dropped into a limp pile on the floor and sobbed, interspersing her words with sniffles. “You’re supposed to be wise. You’re supposed to have a plan, and no matter what happens it always works out because I’m your most faithful… Your most faithful student, and I always know that you trust me to do what’s right, because you know.” She sniffed, then whispered, “Because you’re perfect.”
Celestia sat up and took a deep breath. “Twilight, I never claimed to be perfect.”
“But you were! You were perfect. You always knew what was best for me, and even if I didn’t like it, I knew it would work out for the best. You knew about Nightmare Moon, and you knew I would find friends and you let the changeling queen beat you and you sent me to the Crystal Empire, and you let me face Tirek, and it was all because you knew. Because you had faith in me.”
“Oh, Twilight,” Celestia said, reaching out to pull Twilight into a hug.
Twilight really needed a hug, but it needed to be genuine. The thought of accepting a hug from somepony who didn’t trust her, the thought that every one of those big warm fluffy white feathery hugs was nothing but a lie… She felt something take hold of her guts and twist. The noise that came out of her was like a groan that turned into a sob that turned into a scream. She flailed wildly with her magic, forcing Celestia to half-stumble, half-slide backwards.
“B-but you’re not perfect,” Twilight sobbed. “You really didn’t believe me about Nightmare Moon, did you? You didn’t trust me. You didn’t trust me about Cadance at her wedding.” She climbed to her hooves and sniffed, wiping her muzzle with a fetlock. “I… I devoted my life to you, but you never trusted me.”
“Twilight, that’s not true—”
“You had invisible guards HIDING in here, the whole time!”
“You know how dangerous changelings can be, or any number of other creatures that could impersonate a pony.”
“But that’s NOT what you were worried about!” Twilight squeezed her head between her hooves before dragging them down the sides of her face, tugging on her mane as she vocalized something between a growl and a sob. “Y-you just didn’t trust me to actually pick somepony who loves me.”
Celestia sighed, and tried to smile. “Twilight, please try to see things from my point of view. You’ve never been involved in any kind of romance before, and now you’re engaged to the first stallion who’s shown any interest in you? For a normal pony, that would be cause for a serious conversation with your parents and friends. For a new princess, it’s certainly cause for suspicion.”
Except for Twilight’s teeth grinding, the room was silent for a moment. “I guess I’m lucky that this hasn’t happened to my other friends. Besides Spike, those girls I met in Ponyville were my first real friends. Yes, the first five ponies I met in Ponyville are now my best friends. Doesn’t that seem suspicious to you?”
“Twili—”
“Maybe you should tell Fluttershy that I torture baby ducklings. You know, just in case.”
“You kno—”
“Or tell Pinkie that I hate her parties. She’s probably evil.”
Celestia sat motionless, her jaw set, staring at a trembling Twilight with hard eyes. Several silent breaths passed. “Twi—”
“Tell Applejack that I only like pears. She probably deserves it.”
Celestia sat straight and rigid, leaning back with her chin in the air, looking down at Twilight over her nose. Her eyebrows twitched upwards slightly as she spoke. “Are you finished?”
She wasn’t. She was just too angry to think of anything suitably cruel yet clever to propose doing to her other friends.
“Good. I made a mistake, Twilight. But that doesn’t change the fact that I acted out of concern for you. I don’t blame you for expressing frustration physically in your initial shock, but I’m disappointed in your little tantrum—”
“No. NO! You do NOT get to be disappointed in me. Not any more.” She jabbed an accusing hoof at Celestia. “YOU were wrong, not me. You were wrong, so, so many times. Y-you’re like a cat. Every time you fall on your face, you get up and act like you meant to do that. And everypony believes it.” Twilight sat down hard. “Just like I believed it.”
“I’m sorry Twilight, but I’m going to end this conversation right now, because I’m too tired, and I’m saying hurtful things that I don’t mean. Just know that I am very proud of you, in so many ways. We will speak again when… After I have rested.”
Twilight’s thoughts echoed in the hollow praise. Celestia’s words of encouragement meant as little as her disappointment had a few seconds before. Both comments stung, but only because their lack of impact revealed an emptiness that undermined the foundation of her life. “I…”
Celestia had already left.
The familiar feeling of a failed test crept up around Twilight’s shoulders like a discarded cloak that refused to be left in the mud. Every incorrect quiz and missed question since kindergarten rushed into the front of her mind, along with the hundreds of replays she constructed for each one. Logically, she told herself that it was a way to reinforce the correct answers after the fact, but she couldn’t avoid the conclusion that it was also an attempt to overwrite the painful memories of each failure; attempts to forget the disappointment from ponies of authority whom she respected.
It didn’t work, of course. No matter how many times she remembered double-checking her math, or being more careful to write legibly, or slowing down at the risk of not being the first to complete the quiz, the most vivid memory of them all was proudly announcing to her entire third grade class that thirty-two times three was seventy-six. Her hoofwriting had improved considerably within days of that incident, but every time she put quill to parchment or chalk to blackboard she could feel colts and fillies rolling their eyes behind her.
No matter how many nines she didn’t scribble illegibly into a seven, no matter how many magic spells or potion equations she completed successfully due to her organized and legible script, she could never forget the embarrassment.
“WHAT did you DO?” Twilight screamed in a Royal Ponyville Voice that would have made Nightmare Moon jealous if the last word hadn’t cracked. She stood facing Celestia, hooves planted wide, head down, snorting through her flared nostrils. Her wings were spread outward in aggression, a vestigial instinct to make her appear larger and more dangerous to an opponent.
Celestia extended her royal wings and pitched them downward, lowering her chest to the floor, bowing in capitulation to her former student. After a tense moment, Celestia opened her eyes and looked up from the floor. She slowly began to rise. “Twilight, you were right the whole time.”
And sometimes that dusty old mare found out exactly how much smarter the little purple filly was than everypony else in the classroom. Of course, that never happened, and it would have been incredibly rude, not to mention arrogant. Twilight was certain that, back in third grade, she was not in fact smarter than Mrs. Abacus. She still felt guilty over that particular daydream.
But Twilight hadn’t failed a test. Celestia had. Twilight hadn’t done anything wrong at all.
Except agree to the test. She should have said no. She should have been more firm. She should have stood up for what she knew to be right. Just like Shining Armor’s wedding, she should have gone with her instinct and insisted. When had that ever worked against Celestia, though? Twilight had insisted upon the correct date and time for Nightmare Moon’s prophesied return, and Celestia had ignored everything, even though she actually knew far more about the situation than Twilight had.
That didn’t make any sense. If Celestia remembered banishing Luna, then she did know that Nightmare Moon would be returning. So it actually was a test.
Maybe this whole thing been a test. Twilight was supposed to stand her ground, stand up to Celestia to prove that… To prove what? To prove that she trusted her instincts. To prove that she didn’t listen to bad advice, even from trusted sources. To prove that she was her own mare, that she didn’t depend on Celestia any more, that she was mature and responsible and ready to lead.
Twilight had failed the test.
Wait. Celestia would never be that cruel to any pony on purpose. Though, an hour ago, Twilight was also certain that Celestia couldn’t have been that cruel through incompetence, either. Still, even if Flash had just been asleep and no actual torture had occurred, Twilight couldn’t imagine that having Flash punch her in the face would be some sort of punishment for failing the test. Unless he was just that angry that Twilight had betrayed him by allowing Celestia to conduct the test. But that wasn’t consistent with his character either.
It wasn’t a test. Celestia really had been that incompetent.
Celestia jumped backward with a flap of her massive wings to avoid the telekinetic blast that slammed into the marble floor at her hooves. A chunk of stone the size of a stallion cracked free from the mountain, shaking the foundations of the palace. With a twist of her neck, Twilight hurled the boulder into the fireplace and poured her rage into it until it had been reduced to magma that flowed over the stones around the hearth. The liquid rock became more viscous as it cooled from an incandescent orange to a dull red. The pillows nearest Twilight’s hooves began to smoke, incense at the altar of her rage.
Celestia approached submissively, penitently, avoiding any sudden movements. She sent a concerned glance toward the lava flow that had mercifully been halted by the cool fire bricks before it could ignite the furniture. “Twilight?”
Twilight looked up, her unfocused eyes staring through Celestia. In a cold, even voice, Twilight conveyed pure facts, unquestionable truths of the universe. “Fix him. Fix him, or I swear on every sunrise past and every sunrise to come, I will lock you in the sun, and if any star dares to help you escape, you will find that the world hates you and fears you more than Nightmare Moon ever had been.”
“The lava is a nice touch.”
Twilight looked up, her eyes blinking back their focus. “What?”
Princess Luna stepped farther into the room, and motioned toward the fireplace with her eyes. “It brings a certain warmth to the room.” She stepped around the hole in the floor, let her eyes sweep over the destruction for a moment, then spoke again. “I never was a fan of the white marble.”
Twilight followed Luna’s eyes over the very real damage from her temper tantrum. “I-I’m sorry. I must have gotten carried away.”
Luna used one hoof to lift up the edge of the fallen canvas, peeked at it for a moment, then said, “Hmm.” She looked up at Twilight. “It must have been quite the fight.”
“It wasn’t a fight. Yes, I was a bit snippy at the end, but the only thing I did wrong was listen to her stupid advice.”
“I see.” She let the painting fall back to the floor. “What was that you were saying when I came in?”
“I, um. I just let my imagination run away with me.” Twilight decided not to mention that the molten boulder had likewise been unintentional.
“I’m fairly certain that I heard you invoke my name while threatening to lock my sister in the sun. I can’t say that I haven’t shared that feeling on a few occasions, but I am surprised to hear it coming from you.”
“I wasn’t serious.” Not entirely, anyway. “Sometimes, I run through an argument in my head, so I don’t say something hurtful when it happens for real.” Or because she’d never had the guts to stand up to Celestia in real life.
Luna raised an eyebrow. “And Flash Sentry’s problems were caused by Celestia?”
Twilight responded with an eyebrow of her own and squinted as she leaned forward to answer, though her response sounded almost like a question. “Yes.”
“Hmmm.” Silence stood unchallenged for several seconds while Luna’s tight lips twitched with the half-formed thoughts that passed behind her eyes like wispy clouds over the moon. “I am confused and ill-informed. I presume that your betrothed is mistaken in his belief that you have cheated on him?”
“Yes!” That was a bit louder than Twilight had intended. She cleared her throat and lowered her voice to a reasonable volume. “So nopony told you what happened?”
“I was awakened with an urgent request from my sister. I saw the terrible things that Flash Sentry was dreaming. And I saw in his memories things that made no sense. One thing that was particularly clear was a memory of you, bowing your head in silent shame as Celestia told him that you are pregnant. You did not object or protest when he explained that he could not be the father. My heart was broken to see your betrayal of two good ponies who love you very much. Now, Twilight, please explain to me why this is not the case, so that we can avoid any further—” she poked at a fragment of gilded wood, then wearily looked at Twilight “—drama.”
“Do you trust me?”
Luna looked at Twilight and took a deep breath. “I’m choosing to trust your character over what I’ve seen through Flash’s eyes, and the words of my own sister. Does that answer your question?”
Twilight sighed. “That’s not what I’m asking. Nevermind.” She pulled another chaise lounge away from the still-glowing lump of rock in the fireplace, brushed off some dust with her hoof, and motioned for Luna to sit next to her. “We were just going to ask for her blessing…”
______________________________________________
“... and that’s when you walked in.” Twilight rubbed her the tears off of her cheeks for what felt like the hundredth time before looking up at Luna.
“I see.”
“That’s it? ‘I see?’ What-what’s going on? You saw him, tell me—”
Luna held up a hoof to cut off Twilight’s frantic outburst. “There was more that I saw in Flash’s memories, and now that I know the truth, I can make more sense of it all. But first…” She tilted her head toward the door and opened it a crack with her magic.
Two guards poked their heads inside the room and looked to the princess for direction. “Yes, your highness?”
“Send a pegasus guard to Twilight’s parents’ house. Tell the two guards who are already there that my previous orders are rescinded, but that her parents are to be brought here as quickly as possible. We will wait for them in the garden tea room. Oh, and please try not to alarm them.” She shifted her eyes to the other guard. “Tell the kitchen that this room is indisposed, and to serve Twilight’s engagement brunch in the garden tea room.”
As the guards hoofsteps echoed down the hallway, Twilight raised one hoof, as if to call for a point of order. “You sent guards to my parents’ house?”
Luna sat straight, avoiding Twilight’s gaze. “When I jumped into Flash’s dream, he was, ah, trying to hurt your mother. I naturally believed that his anger was due to your betrayal, so I sent guards to protect your parents in the event that he decided to take action on those impulses.”
“M-my mom?”
“Don’t worry, Twilight, I’m sure your family is safe.” She reached a wing out to Twilight, though she didn’t lean in for a hug. “But regarding your fiancé, I’m afraid I have bad news.”
Twilight pointed at her own face with a hoof. “This is my ‘not-surprised’ face. I knew it was bad from the coma, and from the punching.” The look on Luna’s face told Twilight what she already knew. “I’m sorry, I’ve had a bad day. I’d love to learn anything you can tell me about Flash.”
“Now that I know he was in an illusion, his memories make more sense. His wings were cut off, and he was sealed in a cell.” Twilight nodded. “But he wasn’t in the illusion for a few days, Twilight. It was several years, at least.”
All of the air left the room. Luna said something that echoed tinnily in Twilight’s ears. Luna finally pulled her into a hug that was surprisingly warm. When she was able to breathe again, Twilight said, “He’s spent the last several years thinking that I cheated on him?”
Luna leaned back and steadied Twilight with her hooves. “When I heard him accuse you of infidelity, I didn’t believe it. Even after I had proof straight from Celestia’s mouth, I didn’t believe it in my heart. I couldn’t.” Her smile was genuine and her confidence softened Twilight’s frown. “Flash knows you far better than I do. I’m sure that part of him knows the truth.”
“Thanks. That means a lot.” Twilight’s eyes wandered aimlessly over blank walls for a moment. “What else do I need to know? Is he going to be okay?”
Luna’s deep breath did nothing to reassure Twilight. “I’m not sure. He carries a lot of anger, but also guilt. For what, I don’t know. But there was definitely love in his heart. In any case, he was very confused and is likely to remain so for some time after he returns to the real world.”
“Like if Spike hadn’t pulled me out of Sombra’s door, and I had lived in that nightmare for years… After I came back to reality, I’m not sure if I could even look at Celestia again.” Twilight bit her lip in thought. “He’s going to hate me, isn’t he?”
“I wish I could tell you otherwise. We have a difficult task ahead of us, to bring him back to the world.”
Twilight looked down at her hooves. She’d torn a hole in this lounge, too. She poked a hoof deeper into the stuffing, listening to the plush fabric tear apart, thread by thread.
Both mares looked up when they heard the knock at the door. Luna opened the door with a glow of deep blue magic, and a gray-mustachioed unicorn walked in with a scroll floating behind him. “Your highnesses.”
Luna nodded politely. “Kibitz. How is my sister?”
The stallion wiggled his nose to settle his glasses. “Princess Celestia has retired for the, uh, day. Or three. I’ve brought her itinerary for the next few days; she said you two would have no problem managing her responsibilities while she is recovering. Princess Luna, you will obviously be raising the sun. Princess Twilight, you will be taking on a share of court duties, but most importantly you need to prepare for next week’s summit with the delegation from the Yang Dynasty.”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “The Yang Dynasty?”
Luna smiled and nodded. “So you’ve heard of them? It was only this week that they even made contact with the outside world, and they requested to meet with us. The Long Wyrms of the far East had faded into legend even before I went to the moon.”
“You can’t say that!” Twilight put a hoof on Luna’s shoulder. “It’s offensive. I know you meant ‘wyrm’ with a ‘Y,’ but they consider the worm to be the lowest form of creature - an insult. At least it was, twelve hundred years ago.”
Kibitz cleared his throat. “I see you have the matter well in hoof. I’ll leave you to your business. Princess Twilight, best wishes for your fiancé.” He stepped smartly out the door and closed it quietly with his magic.
After a moment of thought, Luna turned toward Twilight again. “How did you learn of the Lóng? I know you love your books, but I didn’t think any books that old could possibly still be in circulation.”
“Well, that one was in your library in the old castle. Thank goodness for enchanted bookshelves!” Twilight allowed herself a little giggle before she sighed and looked back to Luna. “Is he still asleep?”
“I woke him up when I… When I saw his wings. I went to see him in the infirmary, but Celestia had been there when he woke up, and he was so terrified that the doctors had to sedate him. It would be best if, when he woke up, he didn’t see Celestia. I suggest some of his close friends from the guard, stallions whom he will trust, but who can restrain him if necessary.”
“Of course.” Twilight didn’t feel like seeing Celestia, either.
Luna stood and extended a wing to Twilight. “Let’s go to brunch, and see your parents. We can work through this together.”
“Okay, as long as we’re done before he wakes up. I think I should be there for… him…”
She was stopped by a sad smile from Luna. “Twilight, I’m sorry. I don’t think it will be any different this time. It would be best if you give him time to sort out what’s real before he sees you again.”
“I…” Twilight wanted nothing more than to hold him, to be the one to tell him that everything would be okay. Her nose disagreed. “That’s probably wise.”
______________________________________________
Flash heard the door to his apartment close softly, and the stallions’ voices retreat down the hall. Without taking his eyes off of the window, he brought a wing around to gnaw at the itch, the one they wouldn’t let him get to. The last edge of the sun shriveled and evaporated above the horizon, taking the light with it and leaving Flash looking at his own reflection instead of the street below.
“A dream. All a dream.” His own voice sounded strange. Too loud.
“Don’t worry, sweetie.” Twilight sat down next to him on the bed and brushed a feather off of the corner of his mouth. “You’ll wake up soon.”
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Wow. Intense chapter. I though Flash was going to solve his problem in the illusion. I guess not. Great job. Thanks for the update. This made my day.
5326494 Glad you liked it!
Indeed. I liked it as well. I'm excited to see where you take this.
It continues!
Glad to see this fic is still alive. Poor Flash. I can't even imagine the state his mind is in.
Celestia...let's face it, what she did was condemnable. I eagerly await her comeuppance.
5326886 Yes, still alive. I've just been incredibly busy this semester. I hope to get back to monthly(ish) updates.
IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!
Having just downvoted this fic, I'll do you the favor of commenting on why I have done so.
Right off the bat, I'll admit that I'm not a fan of straight shipping, but that I picked up this fic in an interest to see how the relationship was displayed.
What I found was disappointment. The only two tags you have are romance and dark, so I expected something along the lines of, well, a romance gone dark. You've gotten to that point in this current chapter, but not in a reasonable way.
From the bat, it seems that you've assumed that Flash Sentry and Twilight have a wonderful relationship. It is infallible in it's current form. Thus, the only way for you to inject conflict into the fic is to break that romance apart. So you do it by telling the reader that Flash Sentry has a crazy ridiculous imagination, something we are only ever told about, never shown. You also do it by making Celestia a weaker character. I'm not saying she can't make mistakes, but the way you have her act is rather... unstable.
The idea that Flash's amazing imagination is what kicked Celestia out of his mind is ridiculous, and the major plot issue I have with this fic.
Now, the back and forth with the hallucinations was at best, bleh. It was far too teasing and mostly revolved around showing off how bad things got for Flash.
This is where we can get into your deficiencies as a writer. You never foreshadow. Not at all. You have a goddamn immense dream sequence inside dream sequence part going on, but there isn't any fucking foreshadowing! It makes everything feel like it happens randomly. Oh, boom, the interview with Celestia goes wrong. The reader knows this, but not because of foreshadowing of any type in the story itself, but from the description. Twilight freaks out against Celestia, but this isn't foreshadowed and the fact that their little powwow before Flash get his mind messed up isn't revealed until chapters later just makes it feel so sudden and unrealistic.
This story is basically the written equivalent of a shit ton of jump scares. In the moment, it gets you, but after it's done, you just wish it'd been something else, something...better.
So this fic is a failure by my standards, and partially because it discards some better storylines to get there. Why couldn't the grounding have been Flash's dream? Why couldn't he escape from the prison? Why not Flash having hallucinated all of his time with Twilight and just been a stalker? Those aren't bad plot lines, but they're abandoned and instead the drama and the conflict has to be manufactured to inject the darkness.
You know what would've been good? If Flash and Twilight just weren't good for each other. If their relationship turned sour and dark and violent and tore them apart. That could have been riveting. But instead we have a plot that revolves around external impetus to add darkness.
5327326 thank God. I had almost given up hope!
5328769
I currently have 41 thumbs down, and you've been the only one to give a reason. Thank you.
Not, of course, that I agree with all of your points. I think that there's been a lot of foreshadowing, and it's been commented on quite heavily. I also don't think that Flash and Twilight's relationship is perfect; although they think it is, and it may appear to be, there have been warning signs and red flags. Am I good at balancing subtlety with making hints noticeable? No.
I also tried to reveal a lot about their relationship, both good and bad, through his introspection while imprisoned. A whole five chapters of being in prison would be pretty boring if it was nothing but bad stuff happening. At times, I did feel that I was dwelling too much on the prison chapters, because I really do want to get into the relationship stuff that is sparked by that.
Once again, thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I just hope it has a happy resolved ending!
Celestia royally fucked up, but I hope that she is given some redemption.
when I started reading this fiction, I honestly don't know what i had been expecting. I have honestly begun to lose faith in the writers of this community, but as I began to read chapter after chapter, I became captivated by your tale of frightening chivalry. the entire idea of flash showing unconditional love, only to realize in an after thought that he might just have been a tool, and then to fall into hallucination, it just became a story i could't stop reading. your latest chapter feels... different, probably due to the change of perspective (and probably lack of time to write in, as that can sometime's change a writer's style or mindset), but none the less, I enjoyed it. Decade is one of the better piece's of writing I've read on this site, numbering in the few I call my favorite pieces. I'm excited to read more, and wish you the best of luck!
5334446 Thanks! I was trying for a bit of a different tone, to reflect the shift out of the hallucination. How much that difference was due to writing in tiny snippets around work, I don't know. In any case, I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Summary of this story so far: Flash Sentry undergoes a decade of solitary confinement and psychological torture in the span of a few hours.
Summary of the story to come: Flash Sentry's loved ones deal with the consequences of his decade of psychological torture.
I'm incredibly happy to see this story updated - it has been so long I was starting to worry it had been abandoned, which would be a crying shame. This has been an incredibly (emotionally) intense ride thus far, and being this close to, if not the finale, then at least the fallout of Celestia's actions, has me quite literally on the edge of my seat. Few stories manage this level of genuine griping intensity, and the interactions between Twilight and Celestia for the last two chapters have been hitting a particular high.
And this is hardly over, is it? While the initial "conversation" between the two has ended, the real consequences are probably just about to emerge. After all, while Twilight and Luna know that Flash is in a bad spot, they probably don't realize just how bad it truly is, or how far down the rabbit hole he fell (by saying Years, I doubt they imagined as much as a Decade).
There is no telling how long it would take to restore Flash to normal (or what shape their relationship would be in after the fact, if any), but I'd wager a guess that it's going to take a pretty substantial amount of time - even getting Flash to stop confusing dreams with reality is going to be an uphill challenge, and I am not sure if magic can fix something this complex easily - it's far easier to break something than to put it back together after all, and Flash has been broken pretty thoroughly. Holding the engagement party at this point is almost like a cruel mockery for all involved.
I suppose they could utilize Twilight's True True Self spell she used to snap her friends out of Discord's machinations, but even then I don't know - I suppose that might help him distinguish dream from truth, but I doubt that would fix all the feelings of anger, betrayal, hate and bittersweet love and mistrust he accumulated inside his own head over a period of ten years - after all, his real feelings aren't being magically twisted and his personality isn't being manipulated - both are the unfortunate and very real consequences of the crapsack experiences he was forced to live through thanks to Celestia screwing the pooch.
So ... yeah, the more insanely intense portion of the story might be over, but I'm still waiting with baited breath for what is to come, which will be, no doubt, just as intense in different ways. I wouldn't dare guess what shape Twilight's and Flash's relationship will emerge in, but I imagine her relationship with Celestia will never be the same.
To which I'd actually say "Good for you, Twilight" - if only it hadn't come at such a cost. Her nigh-worship of Celestia is indeed one of the things that tend to hold Twilight back (and is a major source of her stress), and what this will do, without a doubt, is going to force Twilight to accept that Celestia is, indeed, capable of screwing up - royally and completely, to the point where it can easily ruin lives in the process - hers included, and that she should rather listen to her own instincts instead, which haven't really guided her wrong yet - and actually would have prevented this whole clusterfuck, if only she would have gone with her gut (and the morally honest option) of telling "No" to Celestia's proposed little invasion.
So whatever else happens, I guess that's the one good thing that will come of this (as much as shattered trust and relationships that will never be the same can be a good thing anyway) - Twilight will be more of her own mare, less beholden to her worship of her mentor - and her mentor's mistakes. This may well yet save the world sometime down the road, for all we know.
Eagerly looking towards more - unless I'm very wrong (which I might well be, one can never know) the complications have just begun. The consequences of Celestia's actions will echo for some time to come, I imagine.
On additional note, having pondered it some more, the cloaked Guards Celestia had in the room won't be doing any favors to her relationship with Twilight either - sure, Twilight shouted over it a bit, but I imagine it's going to be worse once she gets to cool down and really think what that means, once she stops focusing on Flash.
Since it's incredibly unlikely Celestia had them present for just this meeting alone for the first time (and even if she tried to claim otherwise, true or false, Twilight wouldn't believe her, not now) - which means that all the conversations she has had with Celestia, conversations which she would have assumed private where Twilight likely bared her feelings, thoughts and fears like she wouldn't in the company of strangers, haven't actually been private and she has played audience to an unknown number of stallions positioned in the room, privy to all her feelings she had thought to share with someone intimately close to her.
On top of what has happened with Flash (however much of that is Twilight's own fault), will only dig Celestia's hole with her even deeper, and it will be a loong time before she considers truly trusting her again. I recall Celestia saying during the previous chapter she hopes to regain Twilight's trust sometime soon ... I hope by "soon" she meant a few centuries, because all this combined together has the makings of a grudge that may last for a long time. And, I imagine, Twilight's opinions (on top of Flash's condition - with him being pretty much broken, delusional and more or less insane as result of Celestia's "test") will color her family's reaction to the events as well - family she is about to meet any minute now (which will probably spill over to Shiny and Cadence - the later who should have been the actual person to perform any "love tests", assuming she hasn't already, without mentally invasive procedures).
Yeah ... this one poor judgment call may well cost Celestia a decent amount of standing and respect with more than just Twilight.
5343938 It seems you've put a lot of thought into this. You're very insightful. I think you're going to enjoy the rest of the book.
5344101
I guess I do like to ponder and ramble when a story has truly caught my interest (and this one has, heh). I take it some of the stuff I babbled about will be at least touched upon in the future chapters? I certainly look towards that, or whatever else may come - the untangling of a twisted knot of interpersonal relationships can be an avid experience while observed from the outside.
And depending on how long you plan the story to be, there is a lot of potential untangling (or further tangling, depending on how things go) to be done.
For the longest time I just wasn't sure what was up here, then you revealed the truth, and I felt so sorry for Flash.
Now, with him waking up, my anticipation of the next few chapters is very high, higher than most stories.
Kinda makes me wish I was reading this after it's done so I didn't have to wait, but wait I shall.
5416265
Yes. Eat lunch before chapter 5. I'll wait.
Oh, first of all, I hope to All Powers that this "The Yang Dynasty" isn't going to pull some kind of Deus ex Machina and just fix Flash without any issue. It'd be fine if they can offer some kind of assistance so long as it wasn't an instant fix or major leap. Maybe by providing a little something that will help define fantasy and reality in Flash's mind but he still has to find it and latch onto and believe in it.
Second, even after reading "Dig" I still say "Conviction" should be after "Toothless", and with all that was revealed in "Dig" I think it'd just be even better to have it all together.
Third, I really wanted the "Flash is a stalker rapist who deluded himself into thinking he had a happy life and is really being punished" to be the "real" plot line. But the choice you made is well executed in both pacing and blending of first layer illusion (Celestia's majorly botched spell) and second layer hallucination inside of said first layer (which is not Inception, "Inception" was the act of planting a foreign idea into the subconscious of another and make them think it was their own (which I guess is what Celestia's spell actually did. Huh.).).
Most of the time, I'm going to keep beating the dead horse that is the placement of "Conviction".
Fourth, I really, really, really, really loved Twilight calling Celestia out this chapter. The fallout from Sunbutt's little slip up is going to cost her. If Twilight is immortal (something that is up in the air canon wise and most fans have their own opinion on that) it'll probably take her centuries to get over this, if not longer.
They say the first love cuts the deepest after all. And it's looking like this love might have gotten killed before it could even really bloom.
And yes, I still want to see Flash not recover from this. At least not until at least a real-life decade of time, preferably longer.
Fifth, f
k, now I've got to wait for the next chapter to come out like everyone else.
Sixth, you've earned a follow from me for this. I'm going to look into your other stories later. I just spent all day reading horsewords, I need a break.
Finally,
5416309
Responding in a different chapter than the chapter of the comment being responded to doesn't send the first commenter a notice saying their comment has been responded to.
5418019 Huh. I had no idea there was a quirk like that in the comment system. I was just viewing the main page, and I guess it automatically adds it to the last published chapter?
I may rearrange chapters later, but I think "Conviction" reveals things that will be important later, such as Celestia's reasons and the way Twilight reacted to the request. I'm not ruling out a merger with another chapter, but there's a lot that really needs to be in there.
Your speculation on potential plot development is insightful. All of the chapters from here to the end are already outlined, and most of them are even halfway written, and just need to be fleshed out a bit more. It won't be multi-month waits any more; last semester was very bad for me in many ways, but this spring looks a lot easier.
5418060
It seems the quirk has been fixed, as I did get a notification. It used to be like that though, as I was told on my own story.
Even after having stepped back and thought about some others things for a while I really do fell that "Conviction" works better after "Toothless". I understand that it reveals important information but nothing that is relevant to "Toothless" itself.
As it is right now we are consistently in Flash's head, seeing what he sees, not knowing what is real-fake and what is fake-real or even what is just plain fake-fake. Then comes "Conviction" and wham hard shift out of the mindscape and all the way back to Chapter III.
Now, that's perfectly fine, great story element. The problem? We then shift back into Flash's mindscape.
This is not a story element disjoint, like his fractured thoughts and hallucinations. It is a narrative flow disjoint that throws the reader out of the story.
Keep "Toothless" as it is, up to the
line. Everything before, but nothing after.
Then take "Conviction" as it is, in full, move it after "Toothless" and at the end, after the
line you place the ending of "Toothless", repeating a bit, starting from the
section.
This makes the reader think it could all just be his mind working against him even harder.
He had placed himself above it all, "ascended" as he put it. Made himself impervious to the attacks.
But now we're back to before it really started. How? Why?
Is it all just going to repeat again? A never ending loop, going on until he dies?
Was it really just a mistake on Celestia's part, or is his mind exerting even more force to try and break him again by making him relive the very start of it all?
Does the end mean that Luna has found his mind-scape, or is it all just more self hate?
This serves to keep a narrative flow, since you can't be sure if the start of the chapter was real or not.
k he punched Twilight in the face for real!
But then you get to "Dig" and ok so maybe it really is Luna or maybe he's just gone totally crazy and HOLY BUCK it was just a mistake on Celestia's part, she's really scr- oh f
That makes that scene that much more of a punch to the reader.
Now we know we're dealing with the real world and anything that Flash experiences is actually happening but he doesn't know it and it's just that much more heartbreaking to see him think it's all more illusions.
When you use the "it was a dream all along" plot you have to be real careful when you reveal that, why most of them do it at the very end. But with this it can't be at the very end. There has to be what follows. The consequences, for all parties involved.
By splicing the reveal in-between two chapters that are fully in the dream said reveal just feels cheapened and lack-luster.
Anyways, that's my opinion on the matter. Really looking forward to seeing what goes down next.
Still want Flash to never recover. Not because I'm a FlashLight hater but because I want to see more stories with "downer" endings.
I'm the sort of guy that wants the Villain to win. ^_^
5492477 I have a lot of excuses, but Occam's Razor and all that
5492797
After having read through this story, I've come to the conclusion that people are stupid.
Wait, that's not very charitable.
Let me put this way: this story has a collection of elements that make it liable to have it be received unfavorably in spite of its quality.
The story itself is excellent, so far.
5492874 Thanks!
What's your problem, buster? Why cause a rift between Celestia and her student like that? Are you crazy?!?!?!?!
5418624 Remember that thing about not getting notifications? Yeah, I just now saw this.
I've been playing around with mixing up and splicing the chapters since your previous comment. Never had found anything I liked. I'll mess around with this idea, thanks!
I'm tempted to say, "just wait, the villain may not be who you think it is," but I guess there hasn't been a real villain, has there? Regardless, the rest of the story will not be... trite.
5521991
You're an idiot, you know that?
Now, ask yourself why a stranger on the internet would attack you out of nowhere like that. Be thorough.
"Longer than you think, Twilight. Longer than you
think! I saw! I saw! Longer than you think!"
Poor Flash...
5343938
I certainly agree with you there Skydrake. This is going to have some nasty fallout.
I could see this whole mess of mistrust, fear, and rash actions easily driving a wedge between Candance+Twilight and Luna+Celestia. Running roughshod over your student's objections and inflicting a fate worse than death on her student's fiancée I not going to curry any favours. Celestia apparently has an absolutely massive PR crisis fomenting just under the surface of Equestria. If her Royal Guards, who see and converse with her every day, already fear her as a brutal judge, what happens when rumours of this incident trickle down to the lay-ponies across the nation? What happens with all this fear and distrust 50 years hence? 200 years?
This could very well end up being some sort of mythological origin story that ponies centuries hence tell their foals to explain why the alicorn tetrarchy are locked in eternal war.
5599335
Heh, wouldn't that be a sight to see ... and a particularly morbid turn of events.
The main aspect that will determine the fallout of this incident is, no doubt, the condition Flash is going to emerge in. If they can fix him in relatively short order (and I'm not sure how likely that is - not impossible, since the show has mind magic obviously, but you can never know), then I can see the situation as salvageable after Celestia does lots of groveling at Twilight's and Flash's hooves.
The relationships will change for certain and will never be quite the same again and Celestia will find that, no Princess, you are forbidden from ever issuing orders to this guard in particular and I dare you to try otherwise, but overall so long as Flash and his relationship with Twilight can be salvaged, I imagine things between Celestia and Twilight (and Twilight's extended family) would remain cordial enough.
If Flash is beyond fixing though, if this ends up destroying his life and turning what was shaping up to be one of the happier phases of Twilight's life in to a trainwreck of a nightmare ... there would be hell to pay. Twilight herself would be a conglomeration of gloom, depression and rage (she is keeping it together for now, but she is still operating under the assumption that things will be fine since they pulled Flash out, without being aware of the full extent of the damage), and Celestia would be on the receiving end of it.
To have her first love (not to mention a pony's life effectively, if Flash ends up insane for good) destroyed by soemone she trusted with her heart and soul will have very ugly results. Twilight's family will be enraged as well, on the account of how this will end up affecting Twilight. And, indeed, there is the question of what the Guards will think, once this trickles down to the grunt level (not that things would be rosy on the top, since that's where Shining is, and I imagine he will be plenty incensed on his sister's behalf).
In fact, I expect this to end with Twilight throwing her crown in to Celestia's face (literally ... and given her TK, she can manage one mean throw) and walking out on the Princess, telling her to never appear in her life again - because in the end, it's that stupid crown on her head that served as a major catalyst for Celestia's actions - had to test if the guy wasn't simply sidling up to her because she's a Princess after all. It's a pretty safe bet that, hadn't she been a Princess, none of this would have been deemed necessary by Celestia.
With that in mind, and after having a very personal taste of just what that crown Celestia gave to her can cause, I don't think Twilight will want to have anything to do with it ever again.
5599445
Maybe I am reading too much into something Hap never intended, but I see this tragedy as a symptom of a much larger and deeper problem that Celesteia has. If Flash, a member of the Royal Guard who should by all accounts be familiar with Celestia's character, immediately thinks of Celestia as the brutal tyrant who ritualistically cripples him and locks him in an oubliette of a crime he did not commit when he is asked "What is the worst that can happen?", what would the regular, lay Equestrians think when rumours reach their ears?
Twilight told Celestia "[Y]ou will find that the world hates you and fears you more than Nightmare Moon ever had been." I would guess, based on Flash's first response that the fear and hate has already taken root and been growing for some time. What happens once the layponies hear of Celestia's mistake? What will happen to that soupçon of suspicion and fear after it has time to ferment and grow for 50 years? For 200 years?
I think I have found something really really good. As in, I don;t care if the ending is a downer or a happy one. either way you have proven yourself capable of pulling off some relatively common ideas with skill to make them feel if not new then expertly executed. It all meshes together beautifully.
you took a stallion and broke him down, gradually and believably. Now we are left with more than just aftermath, and it has me very excited.