• Published 22nd Mar 2014
  • 4,313 Views, 55 Comments

Choose Your Own Adventure: Maud's Education - Palm Palette

Maud needs to round out her rock science major with a liberal arts minor. Help her choose what to study.

  • ...


“It's lame,” Maud said.

“Lame!?” Floral Spectum spat. “But that's one of my best ones!”

“It's still awful.”

“Bah! Like you could do any better.” Floral crossed her forelegs and scowled.

Maud cleared her throat. She was certain that she could. “Ahem.

“Brick, mortar and sweat.
Home upon the mountain range.
Landslide reclaimed it.”

“Wha? But that's... That's–”

“It's better than yours? It has actual literary merit? It talks about disaster and the struggle and futility of pony efforts against the uncontrollable forces of nature?”

“It's depressing! Poetry should be happy and sunny, not depressing,” Floral said.

“No. Poetry should paint a scene or tell a story. It needs to do more than just repeat the same word uselessly.” Maud looked at Floral with level eyes.

“Grr. That haiku wasn't my best effort. Let's see if you can beat me at a Limerick.” Floral Spectrum put on her serious face.

“There was a white bunny who hopped.
His journey was long but he stopped.
He ate a flower.
To gain power.
Pure sunshine was his to adopt.”

“That wasn't bad, but it sounds like you put sunshine at the end just for the sake of saying 'sunshine' instead of going for a deeper meaning,” Maud said.

“Of course it has deeper meaning! It means, um, happy, fluffy, er, sunny...”

Maud stared plainly. “How about this?

“My pet rock's name is Boulder.
I carry him by my shoulder.
He's just a chip,
the tiny tip,
of what was once a boulder.”

“I've never heard a pony recite a limerick in a flat monotone before. Humph. Your poem probably doesn't mean anything anyway.” Floral crossed her forelegs and pouted.

“It's a story about how I obtained my pet rock and it serves as a larger metaphor for how ponies in general have tamed the world that we live in.”

“Oh.” Floral cast her eyes down and frowned. “I guess it does.”

“How about this one?

“A landslide blocked the wagon trail.
The minotaurs did moan and wail.
We had more bones.
We cleared the stones.
Us smaller ponies did prevail.”

Floral Spectrum blinked. “I guess that's about true strength. It's not enough to have power if you're not willing to use it.”

“You're learning.”

Floral shook with rage. She tore off her hat and tossed it on the ground. “I'm supposed to be the teacher! I'm not supposed to learn anything! Arrgh!” As quickly as her anger had come, it passed. Floral collapsed on the ground and moaned. “Okay, I admit it. I'm not really qualified for this position. I only got it because the last teacher retired and they didn't have the budget to hire somepony new. My real talent is landscape architecture. The poetry division has done nothing but go downhill since I took over so you know what? I quit. You're the new poetry teacher now. Congrats. I'm going home.”

Well, that wasn't quite what Maud was expecting. Now that she was the teacher she could give herself a perfect score in all of her own poetry classes? That sounded too good to be true, but there was more! The faculty position gave her the connections to publish her rock poetry all across Equestria and she could take on students to teach them about the wonders poetry (with rocks of course). Maud clapped her hooves together and smiled. This was the best day ever.


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