Chapter 3: Catching Up
Meanwhile, in another dimension...
God dammit, where did that idiot wander off to now? I swear, if Caboose wandered into some top secret lab and got himself teleported to another world or something, I'll drag him back here so I can kill him myself!
Church nervously paced back and forth in the Freelancer outpost as he tried to figure out where Caboose had gone. Three hours ago, the idiotic soldier had wandered off looking for a place to take a nap, but no one had been able to find him. Finding a soldier with the IQ of less than a rock in blue armor wearing an antiquated helmet shouldn't be akin to a needle in a haystack, and yet Church had looked everywhere without finding anyone who'd seen him. Being an AI had its benefits, like the ability to jump into any security cam in the base. There was only one area that he hadn't checked: Laboratory 7A. The only place in the facility with its own closed circuit security system.
No, there's no way Caboose could've gotten into that wing. Hell if I know what they even keep there. He let out an irritated sigh. Might as well check and see if anyone in that neck of the base spotted him.
Blue Team's self-proclaimed leader followed the multitude of signs through the stark, industrial halls of the Freelancer base, stopping when the arrows led him to an elevator protected by a single guard. Probably an inept one, too. As Church took a few steps towards the elevator, the guard held up a hand.
"Sorry, sir. Authorized personnel only," the guard said in a rather by-the-book manner.
"I'm just looking for my..." Church half-choked on the next word. "My friend. He's in blue armor, wears one of the older helmets."
And probably is the dumbest thing in existence, he added.
"Oh, you mean Agent Washington's assistant?"
"What?!" Church spat before collecting himself. "I mean, yeah."
"Well, we couldn't find anything on record of anyone in blue armor, and if he's with Washington then I suppose it's cool, right? Jones let a guy like that in maybe three hours back. Can't imagine what a Freelancer would need with Slipspace tech, though. You're here to...what, may I ask?"
"I'm also one of...uh...Wash's assistants. I needed to speak with my colleague about...stuff."
It couldn't work, could it? I couldn't possibly use that excuse a second time.
"Sure thing! I'll call the elevator up and you can head down. Just try not to break anything."
In his digitized mind, Church's hand slammed against his forehead. What do you even need to qualify as a guard?
There was a loud whirring sound as a series of servos, valves, and gears all clicked into place. The doors to the elevator opened and Church stepped into the elevator, descending into the polished silver walls of 7A.
Caboose couldn't be happier, or at least that's what Apple Bloom had surmised. His face was thinly coated in a variety of frosting, crumbs, and syrups and he hadn't shut up about it all being "the best dream ever!" For the last hour, he and Pinkie Pie had been sitting in the grass, having a friendly argument about cakes and pies. The pink party pony advocated for cakes, being an expert at baking just about anything her mind could concieve. The gentle blue giant preferred the sweetness of pies, although he did admit that a pie wouldn't be a very good thing for sticking candles into. The conversation was soon interrupted by the sound of her older sister's rather upset shouting.
"Apple Bloom!" Applejack charged right at the small group of ponies, leaving the rather frightened Fluttershy back a few meters. The cowpony stopped in front of her younger sibling, eyes burning and fuming with anger.
"What did I tell you?" she bellowed. "Huh? Answer me!"
"Oh my god, what are we yelling about?!" Caboose interrupted.
"I don't know!" Pinkie shouted in response. "But yelling is fun!"
"Would you two just shut up for five minutes?!" Rainbow Dash added with a fair amount of volume. "I can't hear myself think!"
"You're absolutely sure you're not Church's sister?" Caboose asked the rainbow pegasus, who merely rolled her eyes at him. "Psst!" he hissed to Pinkie Pie. "I don't think the blue one likes me."
The Cutie Mark Crusaders all looked up at Applejack with apology etched on their faces before Apple Bloom finally spoke.
"I'm sorry sis', but Caboose was hungry! I tried to give somethin' to eat, but he wanted a cake! What was I s'posed to do, just not let him eat?"
Applejack's temper began to dissipate. "I ain't meanin' to get mad at you, but you shoulda waited for me to come back first instead of bringin' him into to town unannounced and scarin' everypony. I coulda come in and picked up a cake for him or somethin'. Now, why don't we introduce him to-"
"NO!" Fluttershy shouted, visibly shaking as she landed and held her position. "I mean, I'm f-fine over here."
Rainbow Dash zipped around behind the petrified pegasus and pushed her towards the blue biped. "Come on, Fluttershy! He's not that bad."
With her wings glued to her sides from fear, digging her hooves into the soft dirt did little to keep her friend from shoving her toward the armored being. She stopped moving when Dash had pushed her to his feet. With him seated in the grass, the powder-yellow pegasus sat just below his eye level. The two strangers stared at each other for a good five seconds before Caboose spoke.
"Hello," he said in his flat tone. "You're pretty."
Fluttershy's cheeks reddened slightly at his compliment, but it did little to settle her nerves. She managed to give him a very nerve-wracked smile.
"Aren't you gonna greet her like everypony else?" Scootaloo said.
"No. She doesn't look like she wants a hug."
"Why not?" Pinkie Pie said. "You should let him hug you! Caboose gives really good hugs! He may look all big and scary, but he's really not! Oh, and he absolutely loves cake too! And pie, he likes that too. Does anypony else want any cake?"
Fluttershy's frightened blue eyes scanned him from top to bottom before going back to her reflection in his orange faceplate. "Big...scary..."
Rainbow Dash nudged her towards him again. "Just sit down next to him, would you? Relax for once!"
The skittish pegasus shakily sat beside Caboose, who never stopped looking at her. He reached out, extending three of his five claws towards her. She let out a terrified squeak and shrank away from him, confident that he was going to hurt her, only to have her expectations shattered when they brushed through her mane.
His claws weren't sharp and pointy like a dragon's, but round, soft, and rubbery. Fluttershy had no idea what he was trying to do to her, but nothing about it seemed harmful or malicious. And as much as she hated sitting beside this thing, if he was happy instead of angry then she wouldn't argue.
"I'm not going to hurt you," Caboose said. "You're too nice to hurt. What's your name?"
"Fff..." she stammered, trying to answer him. "I...I'm F-Fluttershy..."
"Fluttershy," he repeated, the first name he'd gotten right on his first try. "That sounds like 'butterfly.'"
"Why do they call you Caboose?" she asked him, the quaver in her voice reduced but still audible.
"I don't know, that's just my name. You can ask me if you forget it."
"Okay," Fluttershy said as she managed a smile, unsure if what he said was a joke. "I can remember that, Caboose."
The doors to the elevator opened with a hydraulic hiss and Church stepped into the lab. The large room was vacant, save for a single desk loaded with what appeared to be a computer, a plethora of readouts on its screen all at zero percent. A collection of wires ran to a large machine, an engine of some sort. For an AI that should have access to a wealth of information, Church had surprisingly little knowledge about starship drives. Then again, there were a lot of things that he had little knowledge about.
You think they'd at least give me the basics so I could tell what the fuck this thing is.
"Slipspace drive is now operational," an electronic voice called out.
Or I could check the fucking computer.
He had no idea what any of the readouts meant beyond being numbers on a screen. Everything seemed normal, according to what the computer was telling him. Green bars across the board, and green never meant something bad was about to happen. He looked at the console, trying to figure out how Caboose would react to a room filled with a massive Silpspace drive and a computer with a bunch of buttons.
Here goes nothing.
Church shut his eyes and pressed a button, expecting some sort of explosion to occur. The far corner of the room lit up, illuminating a set of six machines, a mass of tubes and wires all about the size of a backpack. And by the straps on the front, Church assumed that they were designed to be worn as one.
"Uh...computer?" Church called out.
"Online, Director." the monotone female voice replied.
"What are those things over there?"
"Experimental personal Slipspace packs for the SPARTAN-IV program. These devices are designed to allow infantry to jump from one point in space to another. Tests have shown a seventy-seven success rate in short jumps of approximately five hundred kilometers, although it will be some time before they are issued to SPARTAN strike teams. Each pack is programmed with the coordinates of the previous location after a jump is completed."
"Uh-huh..." Church said. "What about jumps beyond that?"
"That is still being tested, but data shows that jumps beyond the range of five hundred kilometers have a seventy-four percent chance of failure, resulting in either landing off-target or being disintegrated upon exiting Slipspace."
"Wonderful," Church said.
"Interplanetary jumps have also been attempted," the computer continued.
"Oh, really?" he said with feigned enthusiasm. "And how did those go?"
"Results indicate a ninety-six-point-three chance of disintegration upon exiting Slipspace."
"How very reassuring."
Church walked over and took a jump pack from the shelves, hooking it into the slots on his armor usually reserved for a jetpack. For a device that was suppose to hurtle one through another dimension, it felt strangely lightweight.
Why am I even doing this? Strapping what is basically a bomb on my back to help someone I hate? What in the hell is wrong with me? Although it'd be a lot easier to bring him back that having to file all that damn paperwork...
"Hey, uh, computer?" he called out.
"Online."
"Did someone else come in here before me? He was wearing blue armor."
"Affirmative. Security records indicate that he activated the Slipspace drive."
Church waited for the voice to provide more information before continuing. "Could you tell me who they are?"
"Negative. Our records do not indicate any history of soldiers in blue armor."
"Could you at least tell me where he went?"
"Please stand by." The voice fell silent, followed by a series of beeps and buzzes. "Location unknown. Last jump coordinates have been transferred to your jump pack."
"Thanks, I guess."
A small window popped up in Church's HUD, indicating that the jump pack was ready for use. He took another look at the coordinates being displayed. The set of numbers meant nothing to him. He just wanted to go there, grab Caboose, and get back here, even though he knew full well that the soldier would cause far more damage here than where ever he was.
"Well, wish me luck," he said to the computer.
"Have a safe trip, sir."
Church stuck his middle finger in the air, directing towards the console as the jump pack began to hum to life, sending sparks of electricity down the coils in the side. A flash of white light, and in the next instant the Blue was gone.
Twilight Sparkle sat in the middle of the library surveying the last six hours of alphabetizing she'd just completed. Each and every book in the library had been pulled from the shelves, stacked, and then replaced by title. It had taken her all night, but at last she could get some rest. The lavender unicorn ascended the stairs to the bunk that she called her bedroom, and slipped between the sheets.
"Ah, what a day. Now for a little well deserved nap!"
WHAM!
Beams splintered, windows shattered, and books toppled from their places as something smashed through her roof in a cascade of leaves, shingles, and smoke. She rolled over in her bed and examined the new hole in her ceiling.
"For the last time, Rainbow Dash!" she shouted. "I don't mind you practicing your maneuvers, but it's quite invasive when they always end with you crashing into my-"
Whatever was laying on her floor now was most certainly not Rainbow Dash. A biped by the looks of it, but it looked rather odd for a biped of the Ponyville region. She didn't know of anything that had two legs and shining cobalt skin, or a strange looking saddlebag with an alarm and flashing red lights. It looked more like something out of one of those bizarre science fiction novels. The figure lay completely still, and she started to wonder if the fall had killed it.
"Hello?" she asked, her inquisitive nature overtaking any sort of fear. "Can you hear me?"
The cobalt thing groaned as it tried to move. After a moment it spoke, evidently being a male from the pitch of its voice.
"Ow."
No, this is not a precursor to Flutterboose shipping.
Caboose and ponies?
I'm think I'm going into cardiac arrest at the awesomeness
688985
I don't think any of us (Or just me, in that matter) give a flying fuck about what you have to sell. If you want to advertise something, go and do it somewhere else.
Moarrrrrrrrrr! Very amusing!
That was amazing timing. I got finished reading the last chapter and a few minutes later another one pops up.
846931 You're welcome!
Hm... Needs more views.
That is the only thing wrong I can see.
846956 When I published Chapter 2, I recall this getting a brief moment in the feature box after I went to bed...I'd love to actually see it there for once.
846956 Not ten seconds after I reply to you, it appears in the feature box...
846975 you do get it in the box when you update but try updating more often and you might get it to stay there for at least a day
847032 I'll see what I can do about that. Rarity still has yet to be introduced
This looks like it'll be interesting! Please continue.
846975 When might we expect the next chapter?
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/281/490/03f.png
Choose your next words carefully.
847026 A challenge?! I accept!
Please have some of the reds randomly come, preferably sarge
847042 Well, school's calmed down a bit so I'll have to think of a scenario. So far, I want Church and Caboose to meet and argue a bit. That's as far as I've planned.
This is looking great so far. I wonder if Tucker will ever show up. I await your next chapter sir, the first three were great!
847052 I'll acept that for now. Also, if your looking for a prereader I have plenty of spare time.
847052 Minimal planing is a fool proof plan for success!
I learned this when I botched my suicide attempt and got sent to mental hospital, which is the best thing that has ever happened to me by far.
Yes. Church in MLP. Simple YES!!!!
Oh jeez, my second already favorite RvB story. Tracking. Operation complete.
I suggest more swearing from church just to let you know. Also the next thing church should say should be "That is the worst fucking thing i have ever done" but thats just a suggestion.
huh... another red vs blue crossover... cool!
Oh cool, a story where Caboose doesn't get shipped.... I could probably read this one.
"Negative. Our records do not indicate any history of soldiers in blue armor."
It is the little things like this that just make my day.
847344 I hope these don't become as "dime-a-dozen" as Halo/pony fics.
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/14163/My-Little-Caboose%3A-Blue-is-Magic%21
DARKWING WAS HERE FIRST.
Just so you know, this isn't an original idea anymore, since it's been done. Still, I'll give yours a try.
That is all.
688822
Hell yeah bruh!
806043
CABOOSE
!!!!!!!!!!
Edit: I tried different sizes to adjust my love for this one B vs R character; 50, 70, 100, then 200. This is also the first time that I have gotten to use a semicolon!
"Did someone else come in here before me? He was wearing blue armor."
"Affirmative. Security records indicate that he activated the Slipspace drive."
Church waited for the voice to provide more information before continuing. "Could you tell me who they are?"
"Negative. Our records do not indicate any history of soldiers in blue armor."
Thank you for remembering that Simmons deleted the history of Blues in season 8, but the computer just confirmed that someone with blue armor walked in three hours ago? Then said there is no history? Short term memory loss or just a mistake. I'm loving the Caboose in Equestria thing. Keep it up.
847597 I figured that the computer could identify what Caboose was wearing, but not his identity.
847032
Yeah. I know for certain that Michael is a brony, I know Gus is a closet brony, and in one of the recent videos, Barbara was wearing a Pinkie Pie shirt. So that's what I know.
847500 You want me to be honest? DarkWing inspired me to try writing an RvB/Pony fic. Thought I'd try letting the Blood Gulch crew keep their human forms instead.
847612
Oh that makes WAY more sense than what I was thinking. Thanks!
847617 Yeah...not the clearest line of logic but it was intentional
Hey now that we are chatting lol. How do I make my OC pony as big as everyone elses?
Six Jump Packs? Do I smell a hint of (very subtle) foreshadowing?
847638 Crop it in MS Paint, I guess?
847718 You might. I'm still not sure if I want to jump between six characters
"I know you guys are all wrapped up in your little 'Red vs. Blue' battles,"
"Blue vs. Red battles. No one says Red vs. Blue; it sounds stupid when you say it backwards."
Just had to comment on the title. Gonna read it now. XD
FINALLY A STORY THAT DOES IT RIGHT!!!
Every single cross over or human in equestria story never has the human land in a good spot.
Where better for him to land other than right in front of Twilight, the one pony who could make sense of it. Always wanted to see this happen.
Also,
i712.photobucket.com/albums/ww128/thepwnzor1337/moar.jpg
847195 There's another RvB pony fan-fiction? Directions please.
847597 ...Or we could just restore an archive database.
849019 I forgot about that little detail...meh, it's still a fun little gag
849067 Yep. Always fun to make computers forget [missing entry] soldiers.
By the way, looking great.
I can always proof-read the next chapter if you want me too.
I shall enjoy seeing the [missing entry] soldiers meeting the ponies...And I want Sarge to come just to see the [missing entry]-coloured ponies.
another kickass chapter ^_^
now church is here this fic just got 20% cooler
847614
Ray, who accompanies Michael on a fair number of Achievement Hunter videos, is also a brony.
Caboose being so nice to Fluttershy made me d'aww.
Also, for some reason that last line is what made me laugh the hardest.
848997 I believe you heard of the author Darkwing correct? If not, here is a link. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/14163/My-Little-Caboose%3A-Blue-is-Magic%21
Pirate demands sarge! And griff and Simmons, But manily sarge!