I, Changeling

by Majin Syeekoh

Muffins

Forty-two was sitting with the Cutie Mark Crusaders outside, where they were having lunch. They all seemed to be eating homemade hayburgers. Forty-two smiled, for it had the one lunch to rule them all. It looked at the brown paper bag in front of him, impatient for its delicious contents. It slowly opened the bag and reached his hoof inside, pulling out the most delectable of treats.

“Whatcha got there, Forty-two?” Apple Bloom asked.

Forty-two grinned as he held the object in front of him. “Only the most savory, scrumptious, and divine dessert ever. It’s appetizing and lusciously flavorful folds have eluded me all morning. But you elude me no more, my yummy, savory mark!”

“What are you, a dictionary? It’s just a muffin.” Scootaloo said while chewing on her burger.

Forty-two shook its head. “It’s not just any muffin.” He then stared at it in awe. “It is a muffin given in love by the wall-eyed mare!”

“Oh, you must mean Derpy!” Sweetie Belle said while chewing politely. “She gives muffins to everypony.”

“It may be so, but nopony can taste the love put into a confection quite like I!” Forty-two proclaimed. It then heard footsteps behind it. It turned around to see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. “Hey girls.”

“Hey, bugger.” Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon said simultaneously. Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom gave them dirty glares.

Forty-two held up its muffin in pride. “I bet you’re jealous of my muffin!”

Diamond Tiara stared at the muffin, then grabbed it out of Forty-two’s hooves, to which the Cutie Mark Crusaders gasped in shock. Diamond Tiara then took a bite out of it.

“You may...take a bite…” Forty-two said. Diamond Tiara then spit it out.

“Your muffin’s gross.” She stated, then dropped it on the ground. Forty-two dove for it, not wanting to miss out on the muffiny goodness, when its hoof was stopped by Diamond Tiara stomping on the muffin and grinding it into the dirt. Forty-two and the Cutie Mark Crusaders gasped in horror.

“W-why did you…” Forty-two started, lying on the ground. It then broke out into loud bawling, tears streaming down its face.

“Why in the hay did you do that, Diamond Tiara!?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yeah, that was just cruel!” Sweetie Belle added.

“Because he’s a dirty bugger, and buggers don’t deserve nice things.” Diamond Tiara said.

“Why I oughta…” Scootaloo threatened, rising up onto her hooves, suddenly lurching back when Sweetie Belle grabbed her tail. “What?”

“Don’t do it. It’s not worth it.” Sweetie Belle said, tearing up herself at the most senseless display of malice that Diamond Tiara just displayed.

Scootaloo gave a weird glance to Sweetie Belle. “What, tell Ms. Cheerilee?” Sweetie Belle then let go, blushing as Scootaloo took off. She returned a minute later with a very disgruntled Miss Cheerilee in tow, fixing a disappointed gaze upon Diamond Tiara, who shrank back.

“Diamond Tiara, did you just grind Forty-two’s muffin into the ground?”

Diamond Tiara looked away. “It’s not like the bugger deserved it…”

“Diamond Tiara!” Cheerilee shouted, “I will not have you slander a fellow student in my schoolhouse! Get inside, young filly, that’s a month’s worth of detention!” Diamond Tiara slowly dredged into the schoolhouse, dragging her hooves, Silver Spoon watching in shock as the Cutie Mark Crusaders looked on with smug grins. Forty-two, however, was still crying on the ground, dirt mixing in with tears on its face. Cheerilee looked upon the changeling with sorrow. “That was your lunch, wasn’t it?”

“Y-yes, Miss Cheerilee…” Forty-two responded, sniffling. Cheerilee looked down at the changeling, then to her saddlebag. She then sighed and reached in, pulling out a muffin.

“Well, I was going to save it for an after school snack, but I suppose it’ll go where it’s needed.” Cheerilee said as she extended the hoof holding the muffin to Forty-two. Forty-two looked upon it with confusion, then glee as he snatched the muffin out of Cheerilee’s hand.

“Thank you, Miss Cheerilee, I am most grateful!” It said, taking a bite out of it. A bemused look grew on its face. “What flavor is it?”

Cheerilee giggled. “It’s coffee flavored, a personal favorite of mine. I hope you enjoy it.” She then walked away, leaving Forty-two to happily munch on the muffin in peace.

“Boy, that was sure nice of Miss Cheerilee!” Apple Bloom said, eating her hayburger now that the commotion was done. “I’ve never seen her do that before.”

“Yeah, I guess she felt sorry for you.” Scootaloo said.

“Well, her sorrow was appreciated. I greatly enjoy this muffin!” Forty-two said as it finished the last of it off. The other girls had finished off their lunches as well, moving to stand up. Forty-two stood up as well.

“We’re going to try to get our muffin-tasting Cutie Marks!” Sweetie Belle said. “You wanna join us?”

Forty-two nodded.

“Alright then, let’s go!” Sweetie Belle said as the other Crusaders followed her. Forty-two went to follow, when suddenly something cold and wet touched its muzzle. It looked upon it with curiosity, then gently let it drop onto its hoof, examining it. It appeared to be a snowflake. It found it strange that a snowflake would be falling in July.

“Girls, there appears to be…” it started before it realized that the girls were well ahead of it. It looked back at its hoof, noticing that the snowflake had melted. It shook its head. “Girls, wait up!” It yelled, chasing after them

----

They had arrived at Sugarcube Corner, where Pinkie pulled out a delectable assortment of muffins.

“Hey, Pinkie!” Sweetie Belle said.

“Hey, Sweetie!” Pinkie said back. “You ready to get your Cutie Mark in muffin-tasting?” She said as she set the tray on the counter.

“Mmm-hmm!” She said, taking a seat at the counter, the girls and changeling joining her.

“Well, get ready, because here they come!” Pinkie said as she shoved a muffin in Sweetie Belle’s mouth. She started chewing gingerly, then swallowed. Pinkie looked over Sweetie Belle. “What flavor is that?”

“Banana!” Sweetie said.

“Right you are!” Pinkie said. “Now get ready for the next muffin!” Pinkie said as she shoved another muffin into Sweetie’s mouth. She started chewing gingerly again…

----

Twenty-two muffins later…

Sweetie Belle was lying prone on the floor, her stomach distended from all of the muffins she had been force-fed. Apple Bloom was touching her head, and Scootaloo was holding her hock, while Forty-Two was just standing there. Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Twilight had come in as well to watch the gluttonous display. Forty-two’s parents were also there, wondering why their assigned child hadn’t come home at its usual time, and decide to stay for the show.

“She doesn’t look so good…” Fluttershy said worriedly.

“We should stop this madness at once!” Rarity said.

“Nah, I say we let her learn her lesson.” Applejack said.

“Come on, Sweetie Belle! You’re almost at half my record!” Rainbow Dash cried excitedly.

“Alright, Sweetie Belle, ready for the next muffin?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“Oooooh…” Sweetie Belle groaned.

“I’ll take that as a yes!” and shoved another muffin into her mouth. Sweetie Belle started sweating as she chewed on the muffin, then slowly swallowed it. Twilight glared at Pinkie.

“You know, you’re only supposed to take a bite out of the muffin when you taste it.” Twilight said.

“Really? Because this is how I always taste my muffins!” Pinkie said. “Now, what flavor is it?”

“Boysen...berry?” Sweetie Belle asked. A smile grew on Pinkie’s face.

“That’s correct!” She shouted. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo hurriedly checked for a Cutie Mark on Sweetie Belle’s flank, their faces dropping when none appeared. Sweetie Belle started gagging.

Rarity gasped. “Oh, Celestia, she’s trying to vomit!” she cried as she picked up Sweetie Belle and dragged her to the bathroom. A few seconds later, the splashing of water was heard.

Thirty-four stared at Twilight, who returned a nervous glance. “Do ponies always eat muffins like this?” it asked, its sentence punctuated by splashing.

“It seems most wasteful, to eat that many muffins only to vomit them up.” Sixty-three added.

Twilight giggled nervously. “Eh, not really. This was kind of a special case.”

“A stupid case,” Applejack added, “but, hay, you live, you learn.” More splashing was heard. “Dang, how many muffins did she eat?”

“Twenty-five!” Pinkie said. Applejack facehooved.

Rainbow Dash squeed. “That’s half my record! And it’s certainly the most any filly guzzled down!”

“I just hate to think of what all that vomiting is doing to her stomach lining…” Fluttershy said. The bathroom door swung open as Sweetie Belle limped out, followed by Rarity.

“Now promise me you won’t do anything that foolhardy ever again!” Rarity said.

“Don’t worry...Rarity...I don’t think...I can look at another muffin...again!” Sweetie Belle said.

Pinkie frowned. “But you haven’t even started Round Two!” she said as she pulled out another tray of muffins. Sweetie Belle, upon looking at the tray, whined and collapsed on the floor. Pinkie frowned, then smiled. “Oh well, who wants muffins?”

“Sure!” Applejack said.

“OK!” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom said.

“Yeah.” Rainbow Dash said.

“That would be most enjoyable.” Thirty-four, Forty-two and Sixty-three said in unison. Everypony and everyling present except for Sweetie Belle and Rarity hopped up on the stool in front of the counter and dug in, failing to notice the light snowfall dusting the outside of the store.

Comments

[Europa]

42. The changeling of life, the universe, and everything. Loves muffins.

Also, what was with that snow?

[Majin Syeekoh]

4070441 you'll see...

[FaceDeer]

I seem to recall a certain period in Equestria's history when there was racial tension, and rather a lot of snow fell as a result... :)

[Dura]

4070731 OH NOOO!!!!!!!

[Majin Syeekoh]

4072459 I dunno about that. Would YOU forgive then changelings so easily after the ordeal she went through?

And don't call them changers, that's offensive!

[tsaukpaetra]

63 must be the male, right?

[Razzy]

I see ponies are such jerks that the Windigos are coming again.

I just really hope that the part about equestrians killing changelings was an exaggeration, since I still can't see the princesses just sitting oddly by while it's happening.

Cya
Raziel-chan