CH8: Brawl
Special Thanks:
Editor: DaMobbs & TheSlorg
Proofreader: Axel_Nyan, Meeester, Sadron, Debesh Unnos
Chapter 8: Brawl
Well, this was new.
Sure, I’ve woken up in the middle of the night before, whether it be for a glass of water or a quick trip to the restroom. But this? This was different.
Now granted, I have fought with my own butler before, mostly for practical self-defense training.
But there were times when he got rather rowdy during those ‘sparring matches.’ I’d usually walk out with more than a couple of bruises and cuts. Regardless, he knew more about fighting than I did.
In other words, I was in serious trouble.
“Gordon, why do you have a problem with her?” Before I even finished asking, he had already walked towards the door. I lifted my hand up as if I were trying to grab him. “H-hey, where are you going!?”
“I will meet you in the backyard. Wear proper attire and eat breakfast before coming out. It’ll be the same rule set as before, sir,” he stated firmly, walking out through my bedroom door.
He left me in my own bed, soaking wet and and even more confused. I looked at my hands and furrowed my brow.
What the hell?
*****
At least he gave me the courtesy of eating breakfast before we slugged it out. A bowl of Cheerios seemed logical enough, especially since it was both quick and healthy, not to mention that it was cereal; I mean, who could go wrong with that?
“So, about these ‘Cheerios,’” Celestia asked from across the table. ”Why are they called that? Do they symbolize cheering for something?” She twirled a single Cheerio in her fingers, examining it with unabated curiosity, and wore her recently acquired Princess Celestia T-shirt along with a pair of shorts.
The fact that Celestia was questioning cereal irked me, and once again I didn’t have much of a good answer for it. I shrugged, placing my spoon in the bowl.
“As far as I know, the ‘ios’ part probably represents the fact it’s shaped like a circle or an O. Why there’s ‘cheer’ at the beginning, I really don’t know.”
“Yes, I suppose you’re right. It does make me wonder what they’re cheering for.”
“C-cheering for?”
“Aren’t you the least bit curious?” she questioned, holding up the piece of cereal to the light. “A name has many meanings. For example, it may mean it is cheering for the letter O.”
“And I think you’re thinking way too hard on this,” I added with a chuckle.
Celestia certainly knew how to let her imagination stretch its proverbial muscles, but it was still only cereal. I mean, it’s not like cereal holds the answer to life itself, right? A grumble escaped my lips, and I merely ignored her continuing scientific study of Cheerios and continued chowing down on mine. I shifted my eyes around the kitchen to see that Gordon wasn’t there anymore. I assumed he was preparing for our little soiree, which was to take place soon.
After chasing down the last of the surviving cheerios in my bowl and sending them to rest with their friends, I stood up from the table. Celestia raised a brow at me and stopped eating her own cereal mid-chew.
“You seem different today, Gerald. Is something wrong?” she inquired, looking me over with her pink eyes. “Now that I think of it, you seemed rather wet when you came down. You didn’t happen to take a bath with your clothes on, did you?”
I looked towards the door that led to my backyard, then back to her before sighing out of exhaustion. The irony of her questioning me about clothes was not lost on me, but I had other things on my mind. I leaned my back against the wall and looked at her, concerned.
“You’re going to find out in a few minutes, Celestia, but long story short, I’m fighting my butler.” Celestia went wide-eyed when she heard those words and immediately stood up from the table.
“For what reason?” she questioned, although it sounded more like a demand than anything else.
“Your guess is as good as mine. We do some self-defense training at times with the end result being me getting my ass handed to me, but he seemed different this morning, as if he intended to turn things up a notch. If i had to venture a guess, it seems it has something to do with you.”
“Me?” she asked, placing her hand on her chest. ”Your butler seems nice enough, but why would he have a problem with me? Was it something I said?”
“He wouldn’t tell me, that’s the odd part. Then he just challenges me to ‘fisticuffs,’ as he calls it.” I noticed her rather confused look and sighed in suppressed irritation. “It’s another term for ‘fist fight.’”
“Hmm…” Celestia tapped her chin with a quizzical look on her face. In the end, she just stared at me intently.
“Perhaps he doesn’t want me here,” she stated bluntly.
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Why do you say that? Gordon loves having people around, especially women. I don’t think he’d want that.”
“Do you not understand, Gerald?” she continued calmly. “I am simply a guest here, somepony that is a complete unknown to both of you. You may have been rather welcoming at first, but your butler has been looking at me rather suspiciously lately. I don’t believe he trusts me.”
I shrugged. “I’m sure he trusts you, Celestia. Gordon has a reason for everything, and I’m sure he doesn’t hate you or find you suspicious.”
I walked to the back door and grasped the handle before pausing to look at Celestia once more.
“I’ll show you; it’s all an exaggeration, and I’m sure this fight will solve all our problems.” I opened the back door and strode out into the slightly chilly morning.
“I hope…” I quietly added.
*****
Sadly, I wasn’t very hopeful.
Gordon and I stood in the middle of the grassy field next to the obstacle course, and he looked like the personification of seriousness itself. His look was probably intense enough to instantaneously make a baby start crying. I cringed inwardly. The last time I had seen him like this was back when we started the training, and I hadn’t been taking it seriously. Needless to say, I was now. I stretched my arms and cracked my knuckles, preparing for the inevitable beat-down I would soon receive.
Regardless, that stare still sent a chill down my spine. However, I needed to stay focused. Gordon still wore his usual formal attire, minus the black jacket. Why he always taught me self-defense in that tight outfit, or better yet, how he was still as flexible as an athlete, I will probably never know.
“Can’t you two just talk this out like gentleco—er, men?” Celestia yelled out from the balcony. I looked back at her and gave her a curious gaze. She certainly had a good point. There was no reason to fight if everything could be solved with words. I figured it was worth a shot.
“Gordon, all you did was scare the living daylights out of me this morning. That, and you mentioned something along the lines of—whoa!?”
My attempts at negotiation proved futile. Gordon was like lightning; I almost didn’t see it coming. He had rushed in and thrown a punch that could have easily broken my nose, had my instincts not kicked in when they did. I could feel the displaced air from the punch ruffle some of my hair.
I immediately backed away and sent out a left jab, aiming for the center of his chest, with my right hand drawing back to the right side of my waist.
Gordon was not fooling around this time. He had mentioned that he had a problem with Celestia, but I didn’t know why. That man’s intentions were like an iron safe. Gordon’s stance seemed relaxed as he effortlessly sidestepped my punch, gliding over to my side a few strides away. He waved his hand at me, motioning for me to make the first move.
Me and Gordon had two simple rules when it came to sparring: We used only our hands and we never hit below the belt. Keeping these rules in mind, I glared at him. Fighting Gordon was hard enough with just his fists. If legs were brought into the equation as weapons, I would probably have been at an even more significant disadvantage than I was now. That old bastard was fast.
Impatience got the best of me as I rushed in and jabbed with my right fist, only for him to sidestep once more to my right. Immediately, I swiveled on my right foot and swung my left arm out for a backhand punch. My fist hit nothing but air as he ducked under my arm and used his dazzling, fast footwork to escape my reach.
I lunged forward and started throwing a barrage of punches at Gordon, but I failed to impact anything solid each time. You’d think that wearing a suit would impede one’s movement, but not Gordon, oh no. He was probably the only exception to the rule, and it sucked.
The smartly dressed butler grabbed my arm mid-punch and quickly turned it into an arm-lock. I grunted in pain as I tried to squirm free of his iron grip.
“You really must work more on your speed, sir.”
“Keh, really now?” I grumbled out. “Maybe now we can sit down and talk!” I tried to reverse his grapple by punching him in the face with a free arm, only for him to shift his head to the right and knee me in the stomach. It wasn’t hard, but it knocked the wind out of me. He immediately threw me over his shoulder, which almost made me feel like I was flying in the air, but the blunt force that met with my back brought me back to reality. My vision rattled for a brief second upon impact. I shook my head to set my vision straight.
“Talking makes you vulnerable, sir.”
I didn’t know why he wasn’t listening to reason, despite my attempts to make him do so. I could see now that Gordon was dead serious with our match, and that comment he said only annoyed me further.
‘So be it. He wants to ignore me, I’ll kick his ass instead…!’
*****
“What are they fighting for…?” I mumbled, crossing my hands together.
Hearing Gerald’s words of there being a fight with his butler was truly surprising. From my observations, I had thought they were friends. I stared intently as the two fought: punch after punch, and throw after throw. These humans were quite durable in hoof-to-hoof combat, or hand-to-hand in this case. It reminded me of the training practices that my guards had to go through.
I could tell that this butler had the upper-hand over Gerald. With age comes experience, and Gerald lacked most of it. Whenever Gerald managed to get the drop on him, he always seemed to counter the move with something else. It was almost like a grappling match.
My main concern was why they were fighting. From what I could gather, Gerald told me they have self-defense training from time to time. But this match was different. I knew for a fact and from Gerald that this butler had some kind of problem with me. Hatred, lust, distrust, it could be any combination of things. It was hard to read him.
“Ahh, looks like Gerald and Gordon are fighting again. Breathtaking, isn’t it Celestia?”
I averted my eyes to my right, seeing a red-haired girl next to me. It was Melissa, and she was wearing the same uniform that I saw on her the previous day. I raised a brow at her with some concern.
“How did you get here?” I asked, curious. The way she moved next to me undetected was rather amazing, as if she was a cat sneaking up on its prey.
“Heh heh, Gerald’s front door was unlocked,” she explained, jabbing a thumb at the now-open front door. ”I was planning to knock, but I wanted to sneak up on him. He’s so cute when he’s scared.”
“I’m rather surprised you would enter another’s residence without knocking first. Do you do that to him often?”
“Sometimes. One time, I snuck up on him while he was taking a shower,” she reminisced, eyes locked on the fight before her.” I was wearing a red demon mask, one of the ones you’d normally find at a Halloween shop, and I opened his shower door and screamed ‘booga ooga ooga’! Oh, the look on his face was priceless...”
It was fairly obvious that this female had no respect for personal privacy, not to mention that she would not leave my hair alone yesterday. Still, I admired her rather bold personality. It reminded me of the time with Fluttershy inadvertently ‘nursing’ Philomena back to health. Despite her fears, she did what she thought was right, even when it meant stealing the royal pet for a small time.
I caught myself before I began sinking deeper into my thoughts. There would be time for that later, and if I didn’t focus now, I wouldn’t be able to glean any useful information out of Melissa.
“So, you say that Gordon and Gerald do this all the time?” I nonchalantly asked.
“Yup! They like to spar with each other for training. Gordon says it has something to do with ‘surviving in the outside world’. But you know what,” Melissa observed thoughtfully, “They look pretty serious this time. It looks like they took their training up a notch. This is probably the first time I’ve seen Gordon this serious. I mean, more serious than he normally is. That and Gerald is getting beat up much quicker than usual,” she added as Gerald took a rather nasty elbow to the gut.
“How long have they sparred for?”
“Around maybe six to eight months now?” she guessed, tapping her forehead with a finger and smiling. ”Guess how many times Gerald won.”
“You mean, through these sparring matches? Hm…”
I looked back at the fight, watching as Gerald struggled against Gordon’s sometimes passive aggressive fighting style. I could already see the signs of fatigue grasping his body; He was literally soaked in sweat, his breathing now ragged from the fight as he tried to regain any lost oxygen to keep fighting. Nicks, cuts, and bruises lined his exposed skin, some of the former bleeding slightly.
Yet I saw determination in his stance; the determination to survive and win in the face of insurmountable odds. However, despite that determination, Gordon was ruthless and unforgiving. His experience, intellect, and strength towered over Gerald’s and that was what mattered in a fight.
“He hasn’t won a single match, has he?” I concluded dismally.
She blinked.
“Wow, you’re right!” Melissa exclaimed in surprise. ”How’d you know?”
I rested my arms on the balcony and continued watching Gerald’s fight.
“I’ve seen a lot of pon—er, humans fight. I can tell what they go through and, despite what I look like, I’ve been in wars before. It is easy to see who is going to win or lose just through observation alone.”
“Ooh… Were you in the army or something; maybe a General or a Colonel?”
“You… could say that, yes.” I acknowledged slowly. “I have led my subjects into countless battles and won many wars. If there is one thing I have learned, it’s that in order to give orders, one must judge the situation correctly.”
“That’s deep…”
“Indeed,” I admitted, nodding my head as well, ”I do try to avoid battles if I can, however, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.”
“Mm, I don’t think anyone wants to fight. Why can’t we all just... get along?”
A world without war would be a nice thing to have. Sadly, it would never come to be. The ones too stubborn to reform would fight and drag everyone back down with them into a never-ending cycle of war and death. It is fortunate that Equestria was in an era of peace, with no enemies nor war to dampen my little ponies’ lives. The last big incident was with Discord, and even he was easy enough to re-imprison. But somehow he escaped once again. Speaking of which, I need to find some way to track him down.
In a world that was completely unfamiliar to me, one where my powers were virtually non-existent, it would seem to be a moot point; I had no idea how big this world was, nor knew where to even start looking.
“Maybe if I just relax, good things will come. I am rather curious of this world’s cultures and inhabitants,” I mused to myself aloud with a smile. “I’m sure something will come up sooner rather than later.”
“Huh? Did you say something?” Melissa inquired.
“Oh, it’s nothing; just an old woman talking to herself.”
“Oh, okay then. Anyway…”
Out of nowhere, Melissa whipped out a strange device. It was rectangular in shape and was big enough to warrant a handle on top. On its front was a plethora of dials, buttons, and switches along with two big circular depressions on either side.
“What is that?” I curiously asked.
“Oh this?” she said, holding it up higher so it was easier to see. ”It’s my boombox. I brought it with so I could jam with Gerald but I guess that’s not going to happen today since he’s sparring with Gordon,” she added with a frown.
“A boombox,” I mumbled, closing my eyes in thought. ”That name sounds familiar.”
“Familiar!? You’ve never heard of a boombox before?”
“No, I have,” I responded quickly. ” It’s a device that plays music, yes?”
“You betcha! Here, let me show you…”
*****
“Gotcha!” I finally found an opening in Gordon’s defense. He may have had me in an arm-lock for the umpteenth time, but I turned the tables once more and flipped him over my shoulder. ‘Sorry Gordon, you’ve got an appointment to keep with the dirt’, I thought victoriously.
However, it wasn’t that simple with Gordon.
I did flip him into the air, yes, and I did have a firm grasp on his right arm the entire time. However, that old bastard still had a trick up those stupidly tight sleeves of his. Just after he passed the peak of the throw, he managed to snake his leg between mine, throwing me off-balance. What happened next was a blur of white and black as he reversed the arm-hold and sent me careening into the dead tree head first. It took a few moments before the Earth came to a unanimous decision in where the sky and ground were in relation to up and down.
I shouted in frustration as I picked myself up from the ground once more. Every punch, every grapple, every stalemate ended with my ass on the ground and an extra bruise to show for it. You’d think that half a year of self-defense classes from your opponent would help in some aspect, but not against him. He was the snazzily dressed butler from hell.
I shifted my legs back into a simple, yet effective horse stance and took a few deep, steadying breaths to reign my pounding heart rate in. A quick twist of my neck to get the kinks out and I was ready for another go. He was still in that same annoying stance; arms behind his back like the stereotypical butler that he’s supposed to be.
How is he even defending with such an open stance!? This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!
Whether it was on purpose or not, I didn’t want to stand around looking like an idiot. I rushed in, fists cocked and ready to start swinging when-
♪Baby, Baby Baby, Ohhh… ♪
Horrid music filled my ears, causing me to stumble and throw a mediocre punch. Gordon easily deflected it with a quick smack of his hand. He brought up his other at the same time and launched a palm thrust, impacting me square in the sternum with the force of a speeding truck. It didn’t hurt much, but it sure as hell knocked the wind out of me for a moment. While coughing up a fit, I turned my head towards the balcony where Celestia and Melissa were at, giving the latter the evil eye. Her boombox rested on the railing, and it continued to pump out that nauseating, chalkboard scratchy noise that others would call music.
“Melissa, seriously!?” I shouted, absentmindedly rubbing my chest where the pain was just starting to fade. ”What the hell are you doing!?”
“Heyyy Richie! Nice to see you too! Having fun?” she responded nonchalantly while waving.
Is she blind!? How in any way is this considered ‘fun’!?
“More importantly, why the hell are you playing that chicken scratch!? You know I hate that brat!”
“Oh calm down Richie! It’s just some battle music to help you get riled up.”
“How the fuck is that battle music!?” I yelled loudly, gesturing at the boombox. “That doesn’t even classify as music!”
If it wasn’t for the music, I probably could have gotten a hit in. That’s what I would have liked to think. It probably wouldn’t have mattered anyway, as I had still yet to land a solid blow of some sort on that old geezer. It’s like he knew what I was going to do before I did. I shook my head and shouted at Melissa again.
“Anyway, turn that damn music off, it’s distract—”
“Gerald, look out!” interrupted Celestia, pointing at something behind me.
I immediately whipped my head around just to get sucker punched and knocked onto my ass with an astounding amount of pain coming from my nose. I didn’t know how Gordon managed to take me down so quickly, but I blame him taking advantage of me being distracted. He had never done that during the training sessions before, never using unfair advantages like that. I questioned if he even had an honor system to follow when it came to fighting.
I slowly started to get up, but Gordon got right on top of me and pinned my hands down with one hand, taking them by the wrists. He placed them on the ground, just above my head. I tried to wiggle my wrists free, only to find Gordon’s grip was as tight as ever.
“Urgh, dammit Gordon, let me go!”
“I am sorry, sir,” he spoke in that monotone that I oh-so hated, ”but that is not possible, not in that tone of voice.”
“Oh… Well, could you please let me go?” I asked again politely.
“I cannot, sir.”
“Damn it, you said you’d let me go if I asked nicely!” I shouted in outrage.
“I did not say anything of the sort. You must have heard me wrong, sir.”
“Oh Christ, you and your stupid mind games. Would you just let me go already!?”
It was over; I knew it from the very moment we started. Every match ended with me being strangled into submission or rendered immobile in some other way, and Gordon would then proclaim that the session was over.
However, he didn’t say that he won yet.
I stopped struggling to eye Gordon scrupulously.
“Did you not hear me Gordon? I order you to let me go!” I wasn’t one to give up the fight, however. If I wanted to admit defeat, it would be until I was too tired to go on. I still had plenty of energy in me, but the fact that this battle wasn’t over was a little peculiar.
Why isn’t he proclaiming victory? Just what’s going on in that head of his?
Gordon raised a brow at me, only to shake his head. “Young master, have you not figured out how to win our battles yet?”
“Huh?”
“It has been months since we’ve started these training regimens, you and I. You’ve grown to be quite a capable fighter during this time as well. However, the fact that you have not won against your own butler is... concerning.”
“Well what do you expect? You’re a lot better than I am.”
“Am I, sir? Or is it that you’ve never developed a strategy to defeat me? Time and time again as we sparred, you’ve used the same predictable tactics against me.” I could feel the pressure tighten around my wrists, making me groan in pain. “You certainly must get better, sir.”
“So, what, are you telling me I’m weak?”
“Weak... no, I do not think this. You have a lot of potential, sir, but you are not using it to its fullest. Think for a moment, what have you not tried against me? Think back to our previous battles: Every kick, every punch I threw at you, and you did not learn from any of it?”
I didn’t know why he was giving me a lecture in the middle of our fight, but he was always teaching me something whenever I was about to lose. The first time it was that I needed to have more defensive capabilities, and the second time was to be more aggressive, and the list goes on. The problem is, these always contradicted what I was supposed to learn. Using tactics of both defense and offense at the same time seemed impossible for me, or so Gordon was suggesting.
Wait a minute... something about our battles did seem odd.
My mind was struck by a realization. All this time I was focused on trying to beat Gordon, and there was a blatantly obvious contradiction I never realized before.
‘Every kick, every punch I threw at you?’
I’d never thought too deeply about the ruleset Gordon and I set for our sparring matches, only to punch above the belt. That was it. The pain I felt from every blow from his punches, his kicks, his grapples... It was then that I realized I never thought the obvious. His kicks have been breaking his own ruleset the entire time, in almost every match we’ve been in.
“If you cannot learn from experience, you will never get better.”
I smiled wickedly at him. Gordon had broken his own ruleset, many times, and I never realized it. I was such an idiot.
An audible ‘thwack’ echoed through the air when I thrust my foot right into Gordon’s crotch. A deep groan rung out from Gordon’s voice as tears developed in his eyes, his face scrunched up in pain. I could feel his grip loosening against my wrists. He fell back, holding his hands in front of his nether regions as I slowly got up to see him suffering. I gave a deep sigh as I smiled in satisfaction.
“I’ve learned alright... learned to kick your ass.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.058 seconds
Total duration
935 users online
349,191 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Hurray for updates and getting a peak inside Celestia's head.
... okay... while interesting, I find gordon a bit... insane here. Master is making a decision I don't agree with so... Murder? Days like this I wish celestia had magic still.
1728608
It'll all be explained in the next chapter, don't worry.
OOhhh, ouch. This got intense really quick.
oooooooh, right in th' kiwis!
Gordon!
God dammit Gordon! What are you doing!?!?
Gordon is
1728613
Any idea when that will be?
Please don't drop this and make us wait weeks for the next chapter.
1728685
Tell that to my motivation... D:
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ5n8t13D4uN9J9A8unbSOPZ_pE1DKCi9iJ9uesK4mzH6t0a_fy
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ5dN2D1QO7JlL9QLTNNiU6G2AIUM7slWuXvaV8c71p0zr7KW-pYw
1728694
Is there any way to send a message to your motivation?
He needs to get his stuff together and work.
1728717
No kiddin'. I'll try to convince it to get its act in gear. ;_;
The butler betrays him??? Bu- But the old Butler NEVER betrays the guy!!! It's unheard of!! They're supposed to be faithful!
images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/11500000/Alfred-Pennyworth-batman-begins-11594932-503-243.jpg
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110914142132/marveldatabase/images/e/e7/45197-27169.gif
images.wikia.com/ideas/images/5/55/Toad_(_super_mario_bros_version_).jpg
4.bp.blogspot.com/_4P-9Awd0-N4/S0TCYpXPAPI/AAAAAAAAAk0/nhjTkviH644/s400/Geoffrey+Barbara+Butler.jpg
2.bp.blogspot.com/_Hu8quRUL2KY/RiSoSecG2zI/AAAAAAAAAWY/sTxUqG4bNUM/s320/winston.jpg
NEVER!!!!!!!!
gordon you crazy bastard
Least I was within the first hour group XD
I do enjoy this story
Do keep up the good work and I request for moar
-Dashie
interesting, to say the least
Capitalization
A space that appea
It was a good chapter, until Gordon revealed his sudden desire for murder, and his explanation for why he wants to and will still be around even if he fails. "Celestia is a nutcase but you shelter her anyways so I'm going to commit first degree murder in order to commit her to a nuthouse?" And Gerald's rebuttal is "I'll fire you if I get out", as opposed to, I dunno, contacting the police so that Gordon could be charged for attempted murder? Though admittedly habitual response could cover for Gerald saying that, Gordon's response also ignores the criminal implications of his actions.
Because, seriously, unless what happens next is that Gordon was possessed by Discord or some shit, he just committed attempted murder in front of multiple witnesses, one of whom almost certainly had a cellphone and by any reasonable account would be calling the police right that second. He'd be screwed no matter how this turned out, even if there was something absolving him of his actions like mind control or "It was just a test, wouldn't end in actual killing".
And just to address Gordon's response to the "fire you" bit, it doesn't matter if his contract was taken out by Gerald's parents or not, it's Gerald's house, and the force of law backs up any decision he makes about who gets to enter it. Even if being hired by his parents did somehow circumvent the whole trespassing bit, would Gerald's parents really keep Gordon employed after he attempted to kill their son?
The whole ordeal from Gordon taking out the knife onwards just made no sense. Yes, there are possible out-there explanations for what happened, but those explanations either needed to be presented in this same chapter, or the need for such an explanation needed to be lampshaded. Without either of those things happening, it gives the impression that while a butler attempting to kill his master over a disagreement like this is unexpected and dramatic, the butler's expectation to not suffer any consequences for it what-so-ever if he succeeds, or even if he fails is supposed to be normal.
You need something to support suspension of disbelief if you're going to hang all that weight on it, or else it'll snap in two.
Like my momma used to say:
" IF all else fails kick him in the balls."
1729130
I will admit this, writing this chapter was a little difficult at first in terms of execution, and certain things don't make much sense.
But the next chapter will explain most of these problems. Besides, what good is a cliffhanger when there isn't anything suspenseful or surprising?
Good... Now finish him. Let the hate flow through you...
I am betting more that Gordon is testing Richie's resolve wit the issue with Celestia.
You be surprised how honest someone gets if motivated the right way.
THE REASON WHY THE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE IS UP: HOMICIDAL MANIACS. DETAILS ONCE THE NEW GUY GETS HERE.
THE REASON WHY THE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE IS UP: HOMICIDAL MANIACS. DETAILS ONCE THE NEW GUY GETS HERE.
1729263
Hmmm... I wonder.
1729201
True, true, but the timing of those explanations is off, is what I'm saying. While it is okay to leave something really obvious left unexplained for the moment to reserve the explanation for later, if that's the route you go down that lack of explanation has to be acknowledged in some way, especially if it would logically be really obvious to the characters themselves. I don't think a thorough rewrite of the scene is required to fix that issue, but then I dunno what the thought process was for all the decisions made when writing it, so maybe not.
Fair warning though, if the next chapter doesn't run with the consequences of the police getting involved(or uses it as the cliffhanger, I dunno lol), then you're definitely going to need an explanation for why Melissa didn't call 911 when the knife came out and Gordon openly declared his intention of killing Gerald right in front of her. Not a terribly difficult task and I'm sure you have it well in hand already, but I figured I'd mention it anyways.
You won't take as long with the next chapter right?
YAAAY MOAR PONYFALL! And holy shit, Gordon's gone off the deep end. What a cracka. This better all be explained next chapter, because I seriously don't even know what's going on man.
1729332 This guy has good points. I hope they are addressed.
was it discord
1728727 Was it just so main character could actually think of a way to win? Like in those martial arts movies and Star Wars? Oh and:
Missed one. Should be "I"
1728613 I wager he was replaced by a doppleganger!
And id cut the bastards throat with his knife and burn / melt the body for pulling that shit on me...
But I guess the main character will be too nice / idiotic to do that. If someone tries to take your life do the same in kind or they will just try again when they get out of prison in a decade or sooner.
...Sorry but that just pulled a few strings in me.
DAMN IT GORDON!
KEEP IT TOGETHER!
Wow! This chapter was so amazingly incredible that I'm going to crawl out of my shell and post a comment! I liked getting a second view from Celestia, and hearing about Melissa breaking and entering sure added character to "Richie"!
Gordon went totally bad flank with the fight, up until the breaking of rules! I can't wait for the next installment!
fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/315/f/8/_ponkylove____mini_by_pianoponky-d5ko5qq.jpg fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/315/3/4/_ponkyeager____mini_by_pianoponky-d5ko4sy.jpg fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/315/e/8/_ponkyanxious____mini_by_pianoponky-d5ko43e.jpg fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/310/e/e/_ponkyteary____mini_by_pianoponky-d5k8r1c.jpg fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/307/8/a/_ponkybeam____mini_by_pianoponky-d5jvsdl.jpg
Someone destroy that boombox before we all die. Seriously.
1728613
Oooooooo-kaaaaay. That had better be some damned good explanation, unless it involves chaining Gordon up in the basement (since having to answer some awkward question regarding Celestia rules out the police for now).
Also, had it been me, I would have decided to fuck the rules before getting pounded repeatedly. You want a good, clean fight? Don't wake me up with a Freddy Krueger impression. Knock him out with a baseball bat, followed by the aforementioned chaining up in the basement. He can explain his issues while handcuffed to a radiator.
1731511
No don't do that! It's not the boombox' fault its owner is abusing it for malicious purposes. Instead, why not make the world a better place and destroy Justin Bieber? Preferably with nuclear fire.
1731670
Ya know, that might just work.
That made me rofl.
T'WAS GOOD.
1728727 If you want your motivation to get its rear in gear, just send it to my sister. She'll take care of it...though your motivation might suffer some emotional trauma for a time...
Good show DragonLS, as usual you never let me down
cdn.dualshockers.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/blazblue-continuum-shift-valkenhayn-hellsing-dlc-character.jpeg
This is clearly Gorden.
1728613
I sense some involvement with Discord...
1728570
That sounds painful. I wouldn't want to have a mountaintop stuck in my head.
1734173 Good grief! Can you tell I've spent too much time editing lately? Lol.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_O_O.png
My opinion on Justin Beiber is neutral.
And does Discord have anything to do with this? I'll have to check Ponyfall: Adventures in Chaos.
Obviously, Gordon was faking it.
I want the new chapter to be out soon... this was way to long of a wait
1750097
Good news: I'm nearly done with the next chapter, and it'll be undergoing edits shortly.
1750111
Didn't you say the updates on this chapter took forever?
who's to say they won't take long on that one...
i'm worrying to much...if you say its coming soon, I have to take your word for it.
1750115
*looks at his next chapter*
The fact it went from 0 words to 4197 words in the past hour and a half, is a good indication. Trust me, it'll come soon, in which I pray is this or next week, lol.