• Published 26th Mar 2012
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PonyFall: Majestic Royalty - DragonLS



Princess Celestia is brought to the human world, can she survive this strange new land?

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CH5: Oblivious

Special Thanks to Proofreader: Bridgebrain

Chapter 5: Oblivious

Date: April 14th, 2012

*WHURRRRRRR*

I could hear a high pitched alarm sound, similar to the ones used in emergency drills such as civilian evacuation or in fire departments. I grudgingly opened my eyes as I tried to cover my ears from the annoying racket.

I averted my eyes to my nightstand, seeing that it was my alarm clock. I slammed my hand on the snooze button, wanting to get a few minutes more of sleep. I sniffed strongly, feeling my sinuses clogged up. It was the season of Spring after all, and this time, flowers blooming and butterflies flying around, was the time where the enemy of my allergies known as horrible clouds of pollen were released in the open air. I tried to keep my windows shut from such a thing, since my sinuses go crazy when those puffy little white things are around me.

Not being able to breathe from my nose, my head rose away from its pillow, while giving a few sniffles. My eyes felt heavy, but it was just dust in my eyes, I’m sure. Rubbing my eyelids with my right arm, I weakly got out of bed. I was not a morning person by any means.

“What day is it…” I muttered. I picked up my cell phone from the nightstand and looked at the calendar section of it. It read as April 14th, and it was around 10 AM.

Why of all times did I want to get up? Is it because my nose is clogged up? It’s my day off, so why can’t I just go back to sleep?

I can’t seem to remember what happened yesterday very clearly either… I had a rather nice dream, but that’s about it. I remember going about my daily run, the clouds then turned pink and then… hm, I can’t seem to remember much else. I can never remember everything properly when getting up in the mornings. My dream was even weirder though… I dreamt that I had found Princess Celestia in my backyard, in human form. It was very weird for me to dream such a thing.

Regardless, I needed a shower to wake myself up and to unclog my sinuses. Walking around the hallway in my jogging shorts and a yellow t-shirt, I lazily walked out of my bedroom and into the main hallway of my house. I was met with a small fried aroma of goodness in the air. My left nostril could barely pick up the scent, but I couldn’t even breathe through my right. It smelled like burnt ham. Could it be fried ham, or maybe bacon? Ah wait, that’s right… Gordon is in charge of Breakfast in the mornings…

I rubbed the temples on my face as I felt bad for him. “I really need to give him a break so I can do some cooking for a change.” My cooking wasn’t bad by any means; I’m just impatient when it comes to waiting for a meal to be cooked. Oh the wonders of Fast Food… how I love you…

…But I seriously need to get my act together for a balanced diet. At least fast food salads alleviate the unhealthiness side of it, but not by much. Still need those fresh vegetables and greens and such…

As my mind wandered of the wondrous studies of staying healthy, I opened the door to my bathroom, where I could take a shower.

Or at least, that’s what I hoped I would do.

My vision met with steam as the door was opened. It took me slightly aback, wondering what could be causing all of this steam. Gordon was in the kitchen, I’m in front of the bathroom… could it have been a leaky steam pipe? No, there shouldn’t be any steam pipes in a bathroom, just faucets and water pipes…

As I tried to wave away the steam from my vision, I was met with a rather peculiar sight, and…

“Oh? Gerald, is that you?”

…and a familiar voice. As the steam subsided, I saw breasts. Yes, breasts were the first thing to see. Breasts, in a bathtub full of water and soap, rainbow hair, and a feminine face. Her hair looked drooping wet inside the tub too, wrapping all around the body.

…But mostly the bre—I lightly shook my head to stop thinking such stupid perverted thoughts. It was a woman with rainbow hair, someone whom I should know. The big breasted woman gave a smile as she bathed herself with soap and scrubbrush, but it seemed like she was having trouble scrubbing her back. She looked at me, as if she needed help.

“Sorry for the trouble, but is it possible for you to scrub my back? It’s hard to reach my arm around…”

My answer was closing the door in front of me with a big slam. I decided to give myself a couple of breaths, thinking that what I saw was an illusion. After around maybe half a minute, I opened the door, and the image has been unchanged for the most part, but now the woman gave a frown.

“Is… Is there a problem, Gerald?”

I slammed the door again. This was starting to feel like a child’s game for some reason, but I was starting to think this was no longer an illusion. As the thoughts of this being real slowly crept into my brain, I had a slight twitch in my neck, remembering that yesterday’s events were no dream. Instead, I remember it now as reality. I only had one response to show for this.

I banged my forehead against the wall.

XXXXXXXXX

“Why didn’t you tell me she was taking a bath Gordon!?”

That was my first response when I came to the dinner table. I eventually did realize that everything yesterday was real, but I guess my brain was lagging from all the sleepiness I had. The scene certainly woke me up though… Gordon was cooking Bacon & Scrambled Eggs as I sat at the table, still feeling filthy since I couldn’t use the shower, especially with Celestia still in there…

Gordon brought the frying pan over a couple of plates to scoop out the yellow goodness known as eggs, and the fried delicacy known as Bacon. He looked over to me as he did so.

“You were still sleeping, master. Our guest woke up rather early at around 9 AM, so it is only natural that I help in possibly any way that I could. It is my duty.”

I rubbed my temples at this statement. “You could have just woken me up. I wouldn’t have seen such a scene if you just let me know…”

“I apologize. I will let you know next time.”

Why does that response strike a nerve? He apologized, sure, but he still should have woken me up. This raised one question though…

“Gordon, how did she find the bath, anyway?”

Gordon raised a brow at my question. “She asked me if we had a bath in our home, and I said yes. After that, she requested to use it. I took the liberty of giving her more of your clothes to wear and a towel, and the proper use of the bath.” Gordon then averted his eyes slightly as he put the frying pan down, and then looked back at me. “I did have to insist that she should not take her clothes off in front of me until I left the bathroom, sir.”

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by this… She’s a woman, and even in the pony world there should be baths or showers of some sort there. There was even an episode on it, oh, what was that episode again… it had something to do with Pinkie’s baby alligator or something.

“Speaking of which… you said you gave her some of my clothes again?”

“Yes sir… other than the fact that she lacks undergarments, I have given her a gray t-shirt and some elastic banded jogging shorts. I believe she’ll be quite comfortable.”

“…She’s not wearing underwear?”

“Of course not, sir. We lack the proper female attire for such.”

Either Gordon is perverted, or he’s just not smart…

“Gordon, next time give her a pair of my underwear, alright? I don’t want her frolicking around with nothing under her clothes. Women complain about how it can be uncomfortable…”

“Actually sir, some women are perfectly capable of wearing clothes without undergarments. Take the nudists for example…”

I wish Gordon would stop being a smartass to me when it comes to little discussions like these… Wait, why is he talking about nudists!?

“I get the point Gordon, no need to go there…”

“I must also insist that a woman wearing men’s underwear can also be quite risky.”

“Risky?”

“Yes sir. Take for example a healthy young boy, wearing his underwear daily, and changing it every day… there are stains to take account and how they must be washed. Why I’m sure when you’re locked up in your room, there is—“

“T-that’s enough Gordon! Okay, I get it! Just stop that line of thought, right there!” I do NOT want him explaining how a man takes private time out of their day to do something else. I’m not even going to SAY or THINK what it is either. I just want him to stop!

Flustered, I just grumbled as I took a sip of my glass of orange juice that’s currently on the table. “When will it be ready, Gordon—breakfast I mean.” I asked.

“In a few minutes sir; I need to apply the proper seasonings.” Gordon answered.

“Seasonings, right…”

“My my, what is this wondrous smell?”

A new voice popped into the kitchen. I turned my head to see Celestia at the entrance of the kitchen. She was dressed up in a gray t-shirt and jogging shorts, just as Gordon had described. Her hair still seemed a bit soaked, but she dressed herself quite well, despite the fact she was still getting used to her human form. It’s kind of amazing, to be honest. I gave a small smile.

“Good to see you’ve joined us. Did you have any trouble with the bath?” I asked. Celestia shook her head.

“Your butler kindly showed me how to use the bath, so nothing too complicated…” She averted her gaze to the floor, and then back at me. “I still have trouble figuring out how these ‘electric lights’ work, and I do find your choice of hair products confusing, however.”

“Such as?”

“What is this ‘Head and Shoulders’? It is Shampoo, but why would it be for the shoulders too? Is it a type of soap too?”

“No, it’s just a brand name. There are tons of Shampoo and Soap products in this world, and each company makes them in a different way. So, you could say each soap and shampoo has their own names to them, I guess. I never really took much thought into it. I just like Head and Shoulders, that’s all.” It’s better than that AXE crap I see on TV at least… I mean, ‘The shampoo and soap that attracts women’? Who the hell falls for advertising crap like that nowadays? It doesn’t help much that a certain autistic on the internet convinced me to stay away from that stuff permanently too…

…The internet is scary.

“Anyway, it’s just for hair, not for your shoulders.” I finished. Celestia gave a small nod as she took a seat down at the dinner table. She was sitting next to me, and I could get a whiff of her shampoo scented hair… wait, she’s used my shampoo, didn’t she. So why does it smell good on her, and not on me? I want to smell good damn it!

“I see… I’m not familiar with these ‘advertising campaigns’ you call it… Is it like showing off a certain item?”

“That’s the basic gist of it… You show off a product that is of your own creation, and you sell it off if people are interested. You can see most of that on TV nowadays…”

“TV?”

“Ah, right, TV… You don’t have those where you’re from… Well, how do I put this.” How DO I put this? ‘Technology’ is probably still in the development stages in her world, so she probably doesn’t understand the basic terms for devices… heck she didn’t even know how the lights worked ‘til I told her…

“Um…” I tried to figure out a way to—oh! Maybe there’s one explanation…

“Okay, think of it like this. It’s basically a wide object with a window in the middle. And in this window, it would probably be considered magical or mysterious in your world. But this window in the world you’re in is like a projection screen. It shows all these pictures in a really fast way, and it gives sound. It’s almost like you’re really there where the pictures are showing, except you’re really not. Think of it like… oh! Think of it like an Opera or a play that you can just see from a TV.”

Celestia looked at me, confused. This is going to be harder than I thought.

That’s when Gordon spoke up and gave a statement. “Think of it as a picture book, except everything is moving as if it were alive.”

That’s actually not a bad way of explaining it.

“Yeah, kind of like that!”

“Oh! So a picture book that comes alive? That sounds rather… uncomfortable. Everything takes place in front of you and you can interact with it?”

“No, you can’t really interact with it. It’s just there for your viewing pleasure.”

“But wouldn’t that be spying too?”

“No, it’s… ugh.” I give up. Explaining the wonders of technology that is the television is getting difficult. Showing her would probably be better than explaining it. I grabbed the remote off the dinner table and turned my head to the small-looking Sony TV across from us. It’s a small SDTV, so nothing fancy, but it’s fine for what it’s used for.

“Here, I’ll show you. You see that small box right there? That’s a TV. I’m going to turn it on…”

As I pressed the power button on the remote, the TV made a small sound, a sign that it was booting up. As the audio came on, the picture began to fade in with its clear and crisp picture. It’s no HDTV, but honestly, what’s the point of HD when you can still see everything fine on SD? And what I saw, I immediately regretted turning on the TV.

“Oh shit…” It was on the kids channel… playing My Little Pony. And it was an episode featuring Celestia. The one where she makes a royal visit to the town and all of those… I don’t know what they’re called. You know, those puffballs that Fluttershy gathers and they multiply over time?

Regardless, Celestia’s attention immediately focused on it, shocked and appalled by the works of the television, but she was even more shocked about why her pony form was in the TV, I’m sure…

“What… what is this contraption!? Why am I in there?”

I abruptly turned off the television, realizing she’s seen more than I should have let her. The rainbow-haired woman looked back at me with a scowl.

“Why did it disappear? What is this Gerald!?”

I was hoping I wouldn’t have to explain so soon, even after what I said yesterday, but it seems like I don’t have much choice. I needed to tell her that she’s from a TV show that we humans have made.

…But that didn’t mean I had to tell her everything. I didn’t want her having more doubts than she already had. I gave a sigh as I rubbed my temples. I could feel Gordon’s stare on me as he placed the plates down on the table with the food present as well.

“To be frank, I’m not entirely sure. However, I can tell you this: It is possible that you’re from an alternate reality, and in your alternate reality, it’s your own world. But here in my world, you’re what they call a ‘TV Show’. It’s basically what we humans call ‘entertainment’. You can think of TV as a box of wonders to give us that entertainment, kind of like magic.

With the TV, we can see all sorts of things, Kids shows, News, Entertainment, Sports… all kinds of possibilities.”

“So you used this ‘TV’ to spy in my world!? This… ‘show’ that you call it?”

“No, it’s not used for spying Celestia. To us humans, you’re merely a show made by writers and artists. It’s called ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’, a show about magic, ponies, and of course you, Celestia.” I gave a small sigh as I tried to turn this conversation around. “But tell me Celestia… does it really matter? What if I was in your place right now? What would happen if I were to somehow transfer over to your world, and you have some fangled contraption to ‘spy’ on my world? Would that be fair?”

“Well… I, I don’t know? If we had such technology that you describe, it wouldn’t be used for such… such spying mockeries as this—“

“You don’t know that Celestia.”

Celestia widened her eyes in confusion.

“People and ponies can be unpredictable when something new is introduced. It can be used for benefit, profit, or even to make our lives even easier. The point is, your world is fictional entertainment in this world. But in your world, it’s everyday life. The opposite can be said the same about my world too. Life is unpredictable Celesti-bleh…” I was getting tired of saying her name constantly, since it’s a bit of a tongue twister, but I tried to continue on, and I put my hands flat together with my elbows on the table.

“Twilght Sparkle, Applejack, Pinkie Pie— everyone in the whole world knows most of your world from what we’ve seen so far. Writers and artists—as I’ve said earlier—made everything from their own ideas. How are we to predict that your world was real? We had no idea, at all.”

Celestia just sat there, silently. She was probably trying to take all of this information in. I’m not surprised… if I found out my world was a fictional plaything for others to use, would I take it lightly? No, not really. I could see Gordon was rather confused with what I was talking about. I’m not that surprised either. If anything, he’ll probably think I belong in a mental institution.

She kept silent for at least a minute, with my eyes focused on her. I merely sighed as I snapped my fingers, regaining her attention.

“In any case, I’m sure you’ll need to think about it quite a bit. But in the meantime, you’re in the world I live in, and there’s nothing any of us can do about that. So for now, just eat your breakfast. An empty stomach will only make you irritable and tired, and that can have repercussions on thinking clearly.” I said, waving a hand at her plate. “So please, eat up. We’ve got eggs and bacon right here.”

She gave me another frown—as if I’m not used to it enough—and then looked at her plate. She picked up the fork utensil quite easily. I guess when she tried eating a muffin with her fork, she was trying to learn how to use it, although she really needs to learn how to wield it properly. It looks like she’s trying to stab someone with a knife the way she’s clenching it in her hand.

She poked around the scrambled eggs for a few seconds before looking at me.

“Do these eggs contain a baby chick?”

I couldn’t help but pound my forehead on the table in reaction. What kind of stupid question is that!? I rubbed my head as I lifted it up and gave her a serious response.

“No, the eggs do not contain any baby chicks or any other animals. Surely you eat eggs from where you’re from?”

“Yes… but we must be careful not to use an egg that could contain an unborn chick… It would be a rather nauseating experience if I were to do so.”

“Understandable… You’ll find that there are no such things in the eggs.”

Celestia gave a small nod towards me, and she proceeded to eat the scrambled yellowy goodness. It didn’t take long for her to ‘Mmm’ in a satisfied tone, where she proceeded to eat the eggs.

“That reminds me…” I started, while looking at the clothes she was wearing. “We need to get you some proper clothes. You can’t be wearing my own the entire time… I’d run out of things to wear. So the minute we finish breakfast, we’ll take a trip to a nearby store and get you situated.”

That’s when Gordon spoke up in response.

“Sir, if I may interject, but you are making it sound like this young woman will be living with us for a while.”

I looked back up at Gordon and gave a nod.

“Is there a problem with that?” I asked.

“Very much so sir… if you will recall our earlier conversati—“

“Mm… these eggs are delicious. Especially this… you said this is bacon?” I looked back at Celestia, and she was talking with Gordon. It’s not uncommon to compliment on a chef due to his fine work, but… why do I get the feeling I’m forgetting something?

“Indeed Miss. I had to make sure that the bacon is especially fried, crispy, and seasoned.”

“Mm… tell me… do you know what this ‘bacon’ is made out of?”

It seems Gordon stopped my conversation with him after being complimented by Celestia. I guess he can’t be rude to a lady. Now then, I know I’m forgetting something, but I just can’t put my finger on it, I know it has something to do with animals…

“Very strange for you to love bacon, but not know what it is made of? Bacon is made from the meat of pigs.”

That’s when it hit me. I looked back at Celestia, and it looked like she stopped mid-eating from the bacon. She looked at the bacon for a moment, before her mouth started to quiver in horror.

“Oh no…” Now I remember… Ponies are vegetarians, aren’t they? So that means…

*THUMP*

It didn’t take long at all for my thoughts to be right on the dot. Celestia fell out of her chair, and onto the floor. I immediately got up and ran over to check her condition. She was still breathing but it seems that she’s out; my guess is she fainted. That’s right… Ponies do not eat meat, they’re merely vegetarians that eat fruits and vegetables and apparently eggs. I couldn’t help but facepalm at my own stupidity.

“Whoops.”