CH9: Brofist
Special Thanks:
Editor/Proofreader: TheSlorg
Note: Be sure to read near the end of Chapter 8. Changes have been made to reflect this revised chapter.
*****
Chapter 9: Brofist
I groaned and straightened myself before sitting on the ground and watching Gordon’s hands cup his Johnson. I couldn’t help but laugh at the stupidity of the the situation.
Kicking someone in the groin is a dirty tactic, but a damn effective one.
“I win, Gordon. And you are defeated.” I pumped my fist in the air, but wavered as the adrenaline left my body and I collapsed back onto the grassy ground. I no longer had any reason to even put any effort into moving my limbs. I looked up at the sun in the sky, its warm radiance shining down on me. Seconds felt like hours to me.
I smiled, satisfied with my victory over my butler. I couldn’t tell at first, but I thought he was teaching me a valuable lesson through our sparring lessons—I was just too thick headed to even realize it.
All those punches and all those grapples – and a kick to the nuts was the only way to bring him down. Why was I smiling over this? Was it because my way of attack was so predictable that he had to hint me into gaining victory?
A shadow loomed over me and gave me a gentle smile as it held its hand out.
“Congratulations, sir. You have bested me in combat. How do you feel?” Gordon said, showing a sign of a heightened voice. It was possible I had kicked him in the groin a bit too hard, but I wondered how he was still standing. I couldn’t help but laugh, but the pain in my ribs made my laughs sound more like pained grunts.
“Heh, I feel like a rag doll that came to life and got beaten the crap out of. How about you?” I asked with a smaller chuckle than before. I grabbed his hand and he lifted me up effortlessly, but I did end up wobbling on my legs which almost made me fall onto the ground again. My impact was stopped when Gordon held my arm and lifted it over his shoulder.
“Aside from some aching pain, I am quite alright, nothing serious.”
“Nothing serious? I may have just destroyed your chance for any children.” I looked back at his crotch, and then back at him. “How are you alright?”
“Ah, yes, well,” he began while turning his free hand into a fist and knocking it on his crotch with a light tap. I heard a rather hard sound coming from it, nothing soft or anything, but solid. I raised a brow at him. The realization hit me.
“You’re wearing a cup?” I asked him, surprised. “You knew I was going to hit you there?”
“At some point, yes. You, however, were too dense to realize this tactic. Unorthodox and not orderly, but an effective tactic to kick down your opponent. Honestly sir, must I put you into a woman’s self-defense lesson? They teach this tactic all the time.”
“Well excuse me for being born with Mr. Funtime. Maybe you should just make me a woman?”
“That is a very disturbing line of thought, sir…”
We just looked at each other for a few seconds, but in the end, we just laughed, both of us at our bad jokes. It felt like forever since I’ve laughed like this, and even my ribs were getting pissed with me, as I was reminded of the pain that I was inflicted.
*****
Back in the house I was sitting down on my couch, with Melissa sitting down next to me with a First Aid Kit. Gordon was in the back making that tea and those English crumpets, and Celestia was sitting down across from me. Melissa had already put a few bandages on my forehead and some on my left arm. A lot of my injuries were merely bruises and cuts, and probably the only thing truly injured was my ribs. They weren’t broken, but they hurt as all hell. Getting your ass beat by your own butler in front of a couple of girls was not the best thing to happen to me. A stinging sensation travelled up my right arm’s nerves, and I jerked my arm away.
“Agh, that hurts, Melissa!” She had placed a wet cotton swab that reeked of alcohol on one of the cuts on my arm; it was one of many that adorned my body. Melissa puffed her cheeks and glared at me.
“Don’t be such a baby. You’ve got a few cuts and bruises here and there, and I’m not letting you get sick or infected with airborne bacteria,” Melissa said, wrapping a bandage over the cut.
“Yeah well, I didn’t expect you to use rubbing alcohol. Those things sting like no tomorrow,” I countered back.
“But it works, doesn’t it?” she asked with a smile.
“That’s not the point, be more gentle!”
“You can’t be gentle with medical treatment, Richie.”
“Didn’t I ask you to stop calling me th—OW!” For some reason, Melissa rubbed the next spot with alcohol harder than the last. It was like fire was crawling up my arm.
“Oops, looks like I missed a spot. What were you saying?” she teased. I figured I’d just be quiet, if only for the sake of my surviving nerves. Further temptation with Melissa only proved to be a painful experience when I was under her mercy. I let out a sigh.
“Just hurry up…”
“Okay then! One Curaga Spell, coming up!”
“It’s a first aid kit, damn it!”
As our little rumble with the first aid kit and Melissa’s deluded reality continued on, I noticed Celestia sitting in one of the chairs across from us, staring. I looked right back at her with a raised brow.
“Something wrong, Celestia?” I asked. She merely shrugged.
“Hm, no, not really. I was just thinking that you two seem rather comfortable with each other,” Celestia said with a smirk.
“Well of course! Me and Richie are buddies for life!” Melissa exclaimed, wrapping an arm around my neck.
“Since when did we become buddies for life? You’re merely a friend of mine.”
Melissa mockingly gasped as she held a hand to her mouth. “Richie, I’m hurt! You didn’t tell her we’re love buddies?”
“W-where the hell did that come from!? Since when were we ever in—Melissa, this isn’t funny.”
Melissa giggled. “Relax Richie, I’m merely playing with you. You look so cute when you’re flustered. Ahh, the look on your face is always priceless.”
“I hate you, you know that?”
“And I love you too, Richie.”
I growled at that. She loved getting on my nerves, and I knew it was her way of conversing with me, but it didn’t mean I liked it. It was her way of carrying a conversation, though. I could feel Celestia gazing at me, then switching to meet Melissa’s eyes. Her lips broke into a small smile.
“Having a good time, young master?”
I flinched at the voice from behind. I turned around to see Gordon holding a wooden tray adorned with a few fancy tea cups and a rather medium-sized looking teapot. On the side was a plate of light yellow crumpets, looking crisp and crumbly. For some random reason, there was a small yellow flower in the middle of all it.
“No I’m not. I have a hyperactive girl treating me like I’m her test subject. Are you sure we didn’t have anything less painful than this?”
“It is a first aid kit, sir, with all the necessary basic medical treatments. There is nothing else in this house.” He pointed out, along with a small smirk. “Although, I suppose the mouthwash we have can be used as an antiseptic, but there’s already a proper bottle inside the kit.”
“That’s not what I…” I decided to just bite my lip. When it comes to medical stuff, I didn’t like being treated. After all, bruises and cuts can heal easily on their own, and I thought added pain wouldn’t heal it any more than it should. However that was my fear talking instead of my common sense. I just muttered back with a “Nevermind…”
Gordon placed the tray on the coffee table where we could all reach it, then sat down in the recliner, leaning forward with his hands together. He looked at the tea set, grabbed the handle of the teapot, and poured hot, steaming black tea into each cup. The steam filled my nostrils as I smelled the sensations of a mix of mint and herbs. Gordon knew his tea, and it was no doubt going to be heavenly. Gordon poured a hot cup of tea into a teacup, and handed it to me with a smile.
“Tea is good for the body after a hard day’s work, young master,” Gordon said with a smile. With the teacup in my hand, I took a small sip. There was a slight stinging sensation on my tongue, but I swallowed it down quickly, letting the hot liquid relax and heat up my throat. The tea helped loosen my throat up, since I was a bit parched.
I placed the tea cup back down on the coffee table, and shifted my eyes around the room. Gordon was sitting there in his usual calm demeanor, and Melissa had an eye of uncertainty, but she sat a little away from my butler. I didn’t blame her, since my fight with him was more intense than usual. Celestia was staring intently on my butler, as if trying to figure out why he seemed so calm.
In the end, I sighed. The atmosphere seemed a bit awkward, and the air felt tense. I could even hear the ticking of the clock nearby fill the silent room.
“So,” I couldn’t bare the silence any longer and shattered the voiceless room, “you were kicking my ass pretty well, enough to leave me with more bruises than usual.”
“It happens when the training difficulty is raised, sir. It is to help combat prowess and self-defense.”
“Yes, but,” I wanted to get the more confusing facts out of the way, so I took a deep breath before doing so, and leaned forward so I could stare intently at him, “why expect a kick in the crotch? It’s such a low and dirty tactic? Better yet,” I pointed at Celestia, in which she just raised a brow at me, “why do you have a problem with Celestia? I don’t recall her ever doing anything to you.”
Gordon squint his eyes at me, while tapping the fingers between his hands, and then he looked at Celestia, in which she gave a nod. “I am also curious of this matter. Do you have a personal qualm with me, Mr. Gordon?” Celestia asked, determined to get the answers as well.
Gordon gave a small sigh as he looked between us, judging whether or not he should tell.
“Well,” Gordon began, “would you believe me if I said I wanted you to protect this woman more properly, sir?”
I blinked a couple of times at that answer. It was out of left field, and completely unexpected.
“Perhaps, since you are my butler and personal friend. But did it have to involve such a roundabout way of doing so? You could’ve just asked.”
“Sometimes the unexpected is more interesting than the obvious.”
“How about telling me instead of speaking in riddles?”
“It wasn’t a riddle, sir. I am only saying that you needed more capable training. But you certainly must get better sir,” he eyed the two girls that were in the room, and cracked a smile, “after all, you couldn’t even win against me until I gave you a hint.”
“Who would consider fighting that dirty, Gordon?”
“Picture this, young master… say for instance that you took a peek into a random alleyway, and you saw a woman getting mugged. He is armed with a knife, and is potentially dangerous. Knowing you, sir, you wish to save this woman, but you are at an extreme disadvantage. What do you do?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I’d rush in and disarm the mugger.”
“How?”
“Er… I’d karate chop his arm?”
“Too direct, and knowing your speed, you would end up getting stabbed.”
“Well what do you expect me to do? It’s not like I can go Bruce Lee on him.”
“No, you cannot. But in a fight where the mugger is armed, there are no longer any rules to take such a criminal down. A fine tactic would be to sneak up on the mugger, grab his arms from behind, and tackle him to the ground.”
“And if his back isn’t turned?”
“Then a disarmed maneuver would be necessary. A counter-grapple if the mugger attacks first, a harsh bend in the wrist which can nearly break it, allowing the knife to be dropped to the ground.”
His tactics seemed viable when it came to winning a fight, since, after all, he was experienced with hand-to-hand combat.
“If all else fails, a swift kick to the genitals is an effective solution as well.”
“Why is any of this information necessary Gordon?”
“Because I wish you to protect these two women if they’re ever in any danger of harm.”
There were a couple of small gasps from the room, mainly from Celestia and Melissa. Celestia stood up from her seat, arms crossed.
“So you were teaching Gerald a valuable lesson in defending his loved ones,” Celestia said with a knowing smile.
“Correct, ma’am. You see, I strictly have no problem with you,” Gordon shifted his eyes to the floor, but then back at Celestia. “I am merely questioning your combat experience.”
“But you decided to put Gerald into a training exercise instead of just telling me the reason directly.” Celestia gave a small sigh with a frown. “I do not find this to be satisfactory. You weren’t honest with Gerald, and you took a more aggressive stance to teach this ‘self-defense’ lesson of yours. A more persuasive conversation could have done it.”
“Not everything can be solved with words, my dear,” Gordon retorted.
“True, but it was an option,” Celestia retorted back.
“An option I did not deem to carry the point enough,” Gordon countered once more, with Celestia keeping silent. Gordon looked up at the ceiling and sighed. “A more hands on experience can get the lesson through a lot more than speaking through words. I only want you to know that what I’ve done is to let the young master get better with protecting others. You see, he does well by protecting himself, but I’m afraid he doesn’t know how to handle a fight when a friend of his is in danger.
“I merely did it with the best of intentions. I hope you will understand.” He looked back at me, in which I was rather puzzled. “And young master, I hope you will too.”
It took me a minute to absorb all of this information. The fact he took a more hands-on approach to teach me a valuable lesson was a little odd. However, I did learn a thing or two about certain approaches that I could use, given if the situation is honorable or dishonorable.
I had never thought about it before, since I figured most fights would be the same. I never took friends into account, though. The fear and panic in their eyes when meeting possible danger… such a thought sends shivers down my spine.
I stood up and looked at Gordon. “You’re right, I’m inexperienced when it comes to protecting others. I only know how to fight for myself.” I looked back at Celestia and Melissa. “If anything ever happened to you two, I don’t know how I’d cope with it.”
“Indeed. I hope such a lesson soaks in well,” Gordon said, nodding.
“It will, Gordon. However, next time…” I shot out my fist, stopping it mid-way with a smile. “Tell me directly next time, and no buckets of water involved.”
Gordon gave a smile towards me, and lifted his fist towards mine, bumping it lightly. I had to stop jumping to conclusions. Gordon was there for me, and he’s always trying to teach me something, even if his lessons seem a bit unorthodox. Celestia looked rather puzzled at me, for some reason.
“Something wrong, Celestia?”
“No, it’s… I suppose there is some meaning to it. You two know each other better than I do. It’s a strange spectacle, honestly.”
“Heh, well, I guess friendship can be complicated in the views of others.” I said with a chuckle.
*****
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. We had stayed in the house for most of the day, and I had to recover from the bruises that I took during the training session. It was the good kind of bruises though, since there was the term ‘no pain no gain’.
“Such a quote needs to be abolished. I’m covered in bruises, dammit!” I complained to no one in particular. It was getting close to midnight by the time I got into bed, with the house rather quiet. I was sure that the events from earlier in the morning were a bit exhausting to experience. It certainly was for me.
I grabbed my laptop, bringing up the pony IRC channel. I didn’t have much else to do other than this, since the chats were a bit entertaining anyway.
[0:12] == DragonLS has joined #fimfiction
[0:13] (Rainbowpwnz): RAINBOW DASH FER LIFE!
...Unless it was something completely ridiculous. I immediately closed my laptop. Not only did I not want to get involved in a best pony event, but it was beyond ridiculous. Some people on the internet just can’t decide who’s better and who’s not. For me, I think they’re all great, equally matched.
But that’s just how people are: They love to debate on what’s better than the other. Taking a deep breath, I opened the laptop again, prepared for the worst.
[0:14] == TheSlorg has joined #fimfiction
[0:14] (Rainbow_Dash_Lvr) Ya Rainbow Darsh is best pony
“Huh, Slorg’s online… and the debate is still going.” I rubbed my chin, thinking. “Not sure why he’s on this late, but that’s hypocritical of me to think of…”
I had nothing better to do, so I figured it was a decent past time to do. Plus, I needed to see if Belgarion was still around.
[0:14] (Yozzoy) Lol can’t even spell it right. Junebug pwns Rainbow Dash.
[0:14] (DragonLS) You’re both wrong, Celestia & Pinkie are best ponies.
“Shitstorm incoming…” I said this out loud after giving my pony preferences out, because I knew this could result in an on-going war.
And I’d probably either just slap my face in disgust, or just laugh at it.
[0:15] (TheSlorg) Hey guys. Brohoof, Yozzoy. Junebug is best. Though Pinkie and Fluttershy are growing on me.
[0:15] (TheSlorg) Anything crazy happen while I was gone?
[0:15] (Yozzoy) I didn’t say she was best pony. I just said she pwns Rainbow Dash.
[0:15] (Yozzoy) Slorg you’ve been gone what, an hour or so? Of course crazy things have gone down.
[0:15] (Rainbow_Dash_Lvr) >:(
That statement couldn’t have been more true, be it from the obvious, and what they didn’t know. I leaned back in my bed, looking up at the ceiling.
“A lot of crazy stuff has happened the past few days, I swear. Celestia’s appearance, my butler going Batman on me, should I even be concerned anymore?”
I looked back at the IRC chat, and sighed. I’ve decided to just counter Rainbow’s and Yozzoy’s analysis with a counter-analysis.
[0:15] (DragonLS) Crazy? That would be an understatement... Also Yozzoy, shush. The fact is you said she “pwns” Rainbow Dash, so therefore, wouldn’t that mean she’s better than Rainbow Dash, thus being a best pony?
[0:16] (PonyFreak) I love them ALLLLL!!!!
[0:16] (Rainbow_Dash_Lvr) I haet you guyz
[0:16] == Rainbow_Dash_Lvr has quit
[0:16] (DragonLS) Damn fanboys...
One thing I didn’t understand was fanboys. They get all hot and bothered over a simple debate of who’s better. Why they couldn’t be civil about it is beyond me. Some are die hard, and some are just blind. Although, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t give me a chuckle at the silliness of it all.
[0:16] (TheSlorg) Anyway... How about those pink skies, huh?
I blinked. I leaned forward at the screen to see Slorg talking about pink skies. “Could it be a coincidence?” I asked myself. Belgarion used the same tactic, and I found out in a flamboyant way that he housed a pony. Speaking of him, I didn’t see him anywhere in the chat. But still, it might be worth pursuing what Slorg said.
[0:16] (PonyFreak) Old news, nobody cares. Back to ponies.
[0:17] (DragonLS) Actually, pink skies sounds like a nifty topic to be on. What ails you, Slorg?
[0:17] (Yozzoy) It’s Slorg. You shouldn’t need to ask.
[0:17] (TheSlorg) Hurr hurr, funny.
Either Slorg ignored me, or the idiots in the chat are delaying his answer. Either way, I wish they’d just shut up already.
[0:17] (TheSlorg) The chocolate or fudge smell was weird, too.
Now my eyes were completely glued to the screen. Well, not literally, but the response was immediate.
“Chocolate smell, he says?” I muttered.
I recalled those two ‘dudes’ from Target, saying they didn’t smell any kind of chocolate or fudge whatsoever: Only the Pink skies. However, I know for a fact I smelled it, it was too hard not to.
I leaned back in my bed, thinking again.
“If those guys didn’t smell it, but I did, and Slorg smelled it as well, then that means…” I tapped my index finger on the side of the laptop, thinking.
“Then, it means I either found someone not talking bullcrap, or they heard this kind of information somewhere.”
Only one way to find out…
[0:17] (DragonLS) ...Come again?
[0:18] (Cheerisquee) Somebody read my new fic pls.
[0:18] (Cheerisquee) It’s a Scootaloo x Featherweight ship
“I am not in the mood for fillyphilia, or, pedophilia, whatever the hell it’s called!” I yelled at my screen.
[0:18] (Yozzoy) See? Slorg’s weird enough. Don’t encourage him.
“Damn right I’m encouraging him…”
[0:18] (DragonLS) ...I wonder that, Yozzoy.
My messages weren’t getting me anywhere. It was best if I stopped beating around the bush and ask Slorg directly.
[0:18] (DragonLS) Slorg, out of curiosity, when you smelled fudge, did anything happen to come into... possession?
[0:18] (PonyFreak) Fudge. Lolol
That was about as brief as I could be without ringing alarm bells into the chat. Last time I mentioned I had a pony-turned-human in my possession, the chat went ballistic. Or, maybe it was just one, I couldn’t remember.
[0:20] (TheSlorg) Hey Dragon. Query incoming.
“Huh, he didn’t even answer it, but instead invited me to a private chat.” Either he knew what I was talking about, or it was a wild goose chase.
This was a goose worth hunting. I clicked on the blinking tab on the top of my screen, where we were both in the private chat.
[0:20] (TheSlorg) Yes, the smell came with possessions. What do you know?
[0:20] (DragonLS) That depends. How do you know about the fudge smell?
[0:20] (TheSlorg) Because I bloody well smelled it. I don’t know many other people who did, either.
“Same position as me, and even confirms the possessions…”
I was still brief and sneaky on the ordeal, however. It could have been any number of possessions, like a chocolate bar, or a pony. I was blindly believing that, to be honest, but I surely wanted to believe he had a humanized pony with him.
[0:21] (DragonLS) Indeed... Some people I know didn’t smell fudge on the day when the pink skies showed up. I am guessing that if you were around a certain, well, circumstance, you’d smell it. Do you not agree?
[0:21] (TheSlorg) I assume that circumstance requires some discretion, especially if we’re on the same page here.
[0:21] (DragonLS) To an extent, yes. But be it discreet or not discreet, it’s not like anyone would care.
[0:21] (DragonLS) They would just think you got some crazy information on the internet, and you would turn crazy yourself. At least, that’s what the public will think.
“He seems to be taking on my hints, but of course I have to state the obvious to him. If anyone did hear about a pony turning into a human, they’d take you to a Psych ward for mental examination.”
[0:22] (TheSlorg) Which pony did you find?
“Well that was certainly to the point!” I threw my hands up in the air. Not once have I mentioned anything about ponies in the chatroom, save for that little debate earlier. I couldn’t help but smile.
[0:23] (DragonLS) Bingo, looks like I found another one. I take it it was raining humans where you were?
I press enter and sighed. “Late nights are the perfect time to be a smartass…” I said in a sarcastic tone.
[0:24] (TheSlorg) Yes. Yes there were a few more humans in the area. Dragon, did you really find a pony? Human pony, or whatever?
“And now he’s just repeating the question. I thought the smoke was cleared at this point? Guess I’ll have to tell him straight up…”
[0:24] (DragonLS) Yes I have, in my backyard no less. I didn’t exactly see her pop out of the sky, but I assumed it was the case, given the circumstances.
[0:24] (DragonLS) It’s odd though. The fact we’re having this conversation is a bit unbelievable, tbh. I mean, pink skies and ponies from Equestria in the human world? It’s nuts.
[0:25] (TheSlorg) Well, I didn’t believe anything until Pinkie chased me through the outback. Did you know her eyes really do turn red when you break a Pinkie Promise?
“No, I didn’t—wait, WHAT!?” I shouted at the screen once more. I looked at the words ‘Pinkie’ on the screen. I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I feel a headache coming on... Is he talking about Pinkie Pie?”
If Pinkie Pie was here on Earth, there’s no telling what kind of 4th wall hijinks she was causing here.
[0:25] (DragonLS) I’m aware, only from the wikipedia website, though. So, you have Pinkie Pie, huh? You have my sympathy. She must be hard to deal with.
[0:25] (TheSlorg) You have no idea. She likes Coke, too. So who did you find?
I just stared at the screen, dumbfounded at Slorg’s decision. I grumbled as I typed my next message up.
[0:25] (DragonLS) Of all sugary things to give her... you gave her coke? Guess you should be lucky it wasn’t a Monster drink... God knows what would happen if she drank that.
I was getting a bit off-track though. This conversation was getting a little too off-topic. I decided that I’ve screwed around long enough. He found a pony, it’s only fair I mention mine as well.
It wouldn’t hurt if I played a little guessing game with him, though.
[0:26] (DragonLS) Ah right, the pony I have... Well, what would your reaction be if a rainbow-haired Powerpuff Girl came into your possession?
[0:27] (TheSlorg) You found Rainbow Dash? I guess Pinkie guessed correctly. Bloody hell, this is unbelievable. Seven ponies!
“Seven?” I muttered, “You can’t be serious…”
The fact there were more ponies here than I had previously expected was a bit of a shock. However, I shouldn’t be surprised by this. I counted back to how many of the ponies were in the show, and I drew up a small conclusion.
“If Pinkie Pie is here, and Celestia is here… then it’s only logical that the rest of the Mane 6 would be involved as well. But that’s only a guess…”
I also wanted to know why he thought I had Rainbow Dash. Celestia had Rainbow-like hair as well, unless there was another word for it. It’s not bright and colorful, but more dull.
[0:27] (DragonLS) Seven? You’ve found more? Christ, how many showed up on Earth? Also, no, it’s not Rainbow Dash. Think for a moment: Who else has rainbow-like hair?
[0:27] (TheSlorg) Well, I found Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel. I also think I may have found someone who has Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. So yours would be seven. Wait, six. Angel is a bunny.
[0:27] (TheSlorg) Rainbow hair? I don’t know. Just tell me. Pinkie wants to know.
I slammed my head on the back of the bed. “You can’t be for real.”
This proves my original theory wrong. It was possible that not all of the Mane 6 were here on Earth if the Cutie Mark Crusaders were involved. What was even worse was that devil bunny. It’s no angel, it’s a hellspawn.
[0:27] (DragonLS) Fluttershy AND Angel!? Oh lord... why of all things does it have to be Angel...? He’d be better off as Rabbit Stew. Also, the CMC are here too? Geezus, I feel sorry for the guy who has them.
[0:29] (TheSlorg) Hai tou, wjkhat ptniy did yoyu finds?
“Either he forgot to type, or his brain couldn’t process what I’ve just said.” I could still make out what he said though, it’s not uncommon for me to see a garbled up sentence with poor spelling. “That’s the internet for you.”
[0:29] (DragonLS) ...If my l33tineese isn’t rusty, I think you’re asking me what pony I found. Although why you’re asking me in that kind of speak, is beyond me.
[0:30] (TheSlorg) Duid youtf sat Raonvow Dsashd?
“And I wish he’d stop screwing around…”
[0:30] (TheSlorg) Sorry, that was Pinkie. She’s getting impatient.
“Nice to see Pinkie can type with garbled up English. She’s got several more years ahead of her to type it without looking like a cat stepped all over it.”
[0:30] (DragonLS) Ah, that explains it. Not a single pony can use a computer... But anyway, right, the pony. I guess this game of Guess Who has gone on long enough.
“I tire of this game anyway. Prepare for an incoming shitstorm...”
[0:30] (DragonLS) I have Princess Celestia.
I waited a couple of moments to see what Slorg’s reaction was. But to be perfectly honest, I was expecting a yelp of surprise, or even a rage-induced want to see her.
Sadly, neither of this was the case.
[0:31] (TheSlorg) You have the princess? Great! She can get the ponies back to Equestria.
“Huh, that reminds me…” I recall that Celestia doesn’t have her wings or her horn. Without magic, can she even teleport back to her own world? Given how she’s still staying with me, probably not. But maybe it was just her? I decided to ask if the situation was similar.
[0:32] (DragonLS) ...Out of curiosity, does Fluttershy have her wings?
[0:32] (TheSlorg) Well, no. Both girls have their cutie marks, though.
[0:32] (DragonLS) Celestia is under the same circumstance. No horn, no wings. That means no magic either.
“And my idea Deep Sixed…”
[0:32] (TheSlorg) How the heck are we going to get them back to Equestria without magic? Ugh.
The million dollar question, which is also not easy to answer. I rubbed my chin, thinking.
“Let’s see... What I know so far is that he has Pinkie and Fluttershy, and he’s also been in contact with the CMC. Is there any way of using that to his advantage... ah!” I slapped my head when my thoughts landed on Pinkie Pie.
[0:32] (DragonLS) Here’s an idea... use Pinkie’s 4th wall powers and hop into the television?
It was brilliant, too brilliant. Pinkie Pie of all things has the powers of being random and breaking the 4th wall. I was sure that would be their ticket home.
[0:33] (TheSlorg) If only it were that easy. I don’t suppose the princess is awake right now? It’s night time where you’re at, isn’t it?
“Don’t tell me her powers don’t work here either...?” I sighed, crossing my arms. It was best to get time zones and locations out of the way though.
[0:33] (DragonLS) Past Midnight, yes. In Atlanta, Georgia. I don’t think I know where you are though.
[0:33] (TheSlorg) Sydney. Look, if all goes well, the Cutie Mark Crusaders will be here in about a week. I’m not sure if I can afford to fly anyone else over here right now. We need to get the ponies together somehow, though.
“Sydney?” I mumbled. The name itself didn’t ring any bells. I typed it up in a quick google search to see what it was. A couple searches resulted in a person’s name, but I quickly ran into a wikipedia article that listed its real meaning.
“Sydney is the state capital of New South Wales and the most populous city in Australia!?” I yelled out loud. Australia required a plane flight just to get there.
“To hell with getting over there, it’s impossible.” There was also my schooling I had to be concerned with, so that made it two reasons.
[0:33] (DragonLS) Even if you wanted me to fly over there. I can’t, mostly for two reasons: One, I’m in college. And Two, Celestia doesn’t have any identification or passports. I assume that’s the same situation for you?
[0:34] (TheSlorg) Well, not exactly. All six of the ponies I’ve found are being taken care of, so to speak.
“Does this guy not think? Doesn’t he know how time lengthy it is for passports!?”
[0:34] (DragonLS) So to speak? What do you mean? Even if the ponies were to get the paperwork and such to obtain passports and such, it would take months. How are you even managing this in such a short amount of time?
[0:34] (TheSlorg) Uh. I know someone who can get me what I need. Let’s not talk about him right now, though.
[0:34] (TheSlorg) In fact, it’s past lunch time and the girls are going to need something to eat. Angel too, of course. I should be going now.
“He’s avoiding the subject...”
I keep getting this weird feeling that Slorg is into something shady. I mean, when you consider what he had said, it seemed he was skipping steps just to obtain what he needed. However, I couldn’t keep pressing him on like this, despite my curiosity.
[0:34] (DragonLS) Hmm... I still find it suspicious, but I guess it’s not my right to pry. Before you go, I’ll need some way to contact you, in case we need to talk again, update our statuses, and what not.
[0:35] (TheSlorg) Sure, sounds good. Send me an email at aussie_hunter@ausmail.com. Send me a picture of Celestia, while you’re at it. I might be able to work something out for you as far as ID goes.
And now my curiosity took over.
[0:35] (DragonLS) As far as ID...? Ahhh, I see now... connections, I take it?
[0:35] (TheSlorg) Look at that, Pinkie has had a sudden craving for Coke. I’d better go fix that lunch now. Bye!
[0:35] == TheSlorg has quit
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Silverness · 35k words · 681 83 · 11k views
- Thunderbug80 · 132k words · 941 47 · 16k views
- MrBackpack · 44k words · 591 31 · 8.7k views
- Dusty the Royal Janitor · 60k words · 556 20 · 7.3k views
- Fullmetal Pony · 130k words · 788 31 · 12k views
- Flint Easthoof · 30k words · 360 14 · 5.2k views
- Draequine · 94k words · 280 21 · 5.8k views
- Belgianchief · 15k words · 207 11 · 5.2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.038 seconds
Total duration
621 users online
818,957 hits today, 2,314,256 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Interesting, considering the phrase 'Pinkie Pie weren't mentioned until you looked at them. Do you have godlike powers that allow you to alter what a message says?!
But seriously, yay, update!
2839576
Hooray for my derps...
Fixing it now.
Will you be updating more often now?
2839628
My writing mojo's back, so yup.
YAY! DragonLS is still alive!
I generally stare AT people, not on them, but I guess it could be possible.
Anyways, I hardly believed it when it said this updated...
But it did. Will the next update be just as fast?
2839767
We'll have to see. I have two other fics to work on too ya know, lol.
But it shouldn't take nearly as long as it did this time.
YES AN UPDATE!
Well I guess it's nice that ol' Gordo didn't turn out to be a total psycho.
This arc is one of the few that hasn't intertwined with any other separate arcs yet, so you could go anywhere at this point. The only other pony that hasn't caught up with other stories is Rarity...so maybe those two will get together? I can't recall if Rarity is on the east coast, but AJ and Rainbow are in the midwest, Twilight and Luna are somewhere else but on the run, the CMC Pinkie Fluttershy and Angel are in Australia, so it would make sense if Celestia and Rarity met up and showed off some magic.
Sorry for all the speculation. The anticipation is killing me.
So pretty much all you changed was the knife scene?
2840280
Nope, it wasn't just the knife scene.
The whole "sitdown" was changed as well and the overall theme. People were complaining how dark it was and how it didn't make any sense, so a change was in order.
I see you dropped the homicidal butler plotline. I guess the question here is whether the knife was an additional part of the wake-up call Gordon was trying to get across or whether he was actually planning to use the knife. And if it is the latter, was the knife scene dummied out because you decided at some point while writing this chapter that you couldn't move forward effectively with the homicidal butler plotline?
2840326
Let's just say I hit a brick wall with the original chapter. I think it turned out for the better anyway.
"I love you. Kiss me."
"HA! I KNEW IT! YOU ARE GAY!"
"Wha-what?! I was being sarcastic, humorous as it were."
"Yep. Just keep telling yourself that... Anyway, going brilliantly so far! You've got in contact with Doug, Rarity is running from tornadoes, and the CMC are halfway to Texas. Well, that's how I'm reading it. I'm not going to read the entire of each story until each one gets to a certain point. Off to Rainbow Dash, because I have a feeling from this she learned how to use a computer."
I just realized. How are you going to explain Rarity since Belgarion isn't writing her anymore Dusty is?
YOU GOTTA LOVE DAT COKE!
YEAH!
Sigue así, brody!
2840579
Crazed fan.
Belgarion's deception will cause DragonLS to doubt theSlorg, increasing the dramatic tension.
Woo. Finally caught up with this story. Cannot wait for more.
so wait there are others making stories that revolve in this event? Well Can I be asked who are? so ya know i can read them too
2877042 The link to the collaboration group page is listed in his description.
Or you can just click here.
lol why is trolllestia giving gordon lessons about that kinda shit?
2877354 oh...I feel silly now
But yes THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU X 
You are a good pony telling me this that it moved me with tears 
Thank you once again
2877354 Wait you one of the writers
i.imgur.com/c4fyr.jpg
OMGOMGOGMOGMGOMGOMGGMOGMGOMGOMGOGMGMGOMGOMGOGMGOMGO
-fall to the ground with a case if fangirl moment-
2877354 You're so shady you're a night shade!
Why aren't the Ponyfall writers updating anymore?
are you planning on making more chapters?
An update with more to follow?!
Speaking from experience, if you're determined enough or boosted enough by adrenaline, you can ignore being hit in the balls and keep going. It's only useful to create surprise that can be capitalized on. Even then, it must be used at a precise moment, otherwise it is wasted.
Several options, if he has a knife it isn't really all that difficult to fight him since most of the combat will be focused on control over a single weapon. Better yet, it's one you don't have to worry about shooting or exploding. Although, it could be poisoned.
Don't forget to lock his other hand and arm first or at the same time.
Hmmm...well, okay Gordon, I guess that's one way to teach a lesson. Not the BEST way, as the others have said, but A way... And yet, his motives, they are so oddly specific. Perhaps he has an inkling of what may happen down the road? Perhaps he knows protection of females may be necessary for the future?
Ominous indeed.
So she's not actually majestic, but she seems to be?
You fixate on her having giant knockers in the summary, of all things. Full objectification of women detected.
Paranoid, not paranoia.
Well, I see we're in full Out-of-Character territory anyway, so what the hell.
Very nice thusfar. And good point at having Celestia have some panic at the start, but seem to return to her normal state once she's calmed down somewhat. After all, no one would usually act completely normal when put into such an odd situation.
Have a year late to the party, but I'm still going to comment. I've been going through the Ponyfall stories and I have to say, I enjoyed yours. Though there were errors, i can get over that because nothing is perfect. I hope the day that this story finally catches up with the three taking place in the Australian outback comes soon, Would be sad to see such a beautiful collaboration of stories come to and end. Until then, I'm on to the next Ponyfall story, Rarity what have you been up to during all this.
3080888 I regret nothing, especially insulting the most obviously over-rated meat.
Nice.
4295506 Gosh, why do people keep making jokes like that.
4299495 Or when protecting those you care about., do whatever you have to to ensure their safety
2839645
You are a filthy liar
This butler is teaching his employer to be a man!