How I Met Derpy

by Infinty Blade Brony

The Hole to Earth

Author's Note:

Note: this chapter from the beginning to the horizontal line goes to Derpy. From then on, I'll be narrating.

So, Carrot Top, how's the garden?" I asked Carrot Top as she and I walked together through the park. We hadn't seen each other in a while, so I wanted to catch up on how things were. She scrunched her face and said, "Oh, fine. But there's...something odd...about this one section in the garden. It's sunken in, and now it's a huge hole in the middle of the dirt. About the size of two ponies." "What do you mean, Carrot Top?" I asked as we continued walking. She decided to bring me to the back yard of her home, and we both stared at the huge hole in her garden. It was...as she said. Big enough for two ponies. I trotted closer to it, and Carrot Top got a little worried. I Looked even closer, and Carrot Top, seeing I was going to fall, tried to bite my tail to hold me in place, but wasn't fast enough.

I fell through the hole, and tried to flap my wings to get out, but some sort of wind sucked me into the hole. I flapped as hard as I could, and got a wing-cramp. I stopped trying, and fell headfirst through the hole, and landed on something hard.

---

meanwhile...

"Anyways, I gotta head home, Richard. It was good seeing you again." I said to my friend from 8th grade. I miss Richard a lot, he was a good friend. A little annoying at times, but a good friend. He left Halsey after the 8th grade due to fear of snapping like a twig. This one kid wouldn't stop bullying him, so Richard punched him in the face and shoved him into a locker. I cracked up that day, because the asshole deserved it. He still graduated, of course, but he moved on to Forest Hills High. He had curly hair, so dark it appeared black in the right lighting. His face is indescribable, really, being as to how he makes a lot of faces. He was wearing some baggy pants and a cargo vest similar to mine (except his was cream colored and mine was dark grey).

He just laughed and did our handshake, and said "Alright, see you soon, Ian." After that, we went our separate ways, him heading to his home, and me heading to mine. I guess I should describe myself right about now. My name is Ian Lawrence DelValle. I'm fourteen, just like my friend Richard. I have wavy dark brown hair and brown eyes, tan olive skin, and freckles across the bridge of my nose. They hadn't become visible until I became fourteen, so they were always there. I was 5 feet 9 inches tall. My mom works at the Key-food a half a block away from home. I always take this one route to get home faster. The route; there's an alleyway between the store and the HSBC bank at the corner. I walk between there, leading me to the side of the block with the 'Sushi Fussion' kosher sushi store (don't ask why, that's just how they spelled the name of their store) and the 'Berrylicious' fro-yo store.

This is...well was, my fourth year living in Forest Hills, Queens. I was born and raised in Brooklyn. My dad left me and my mother to fend for ourselves, and he was somewhat able to. He never married mom. He had to visit from time to time and also pay child support. However, when I was seven, he stopped visiting. He got arrested. He went in and out of jail constantly but me, not knowing this until nine years old, still thought he was the shit in my eyes. I have ADHD and major anger issues (I'm calmer now, but had you known me in 1st grade, you'd have been scared shitless). In first grade, I flipped a desk that hit a teacher because a kid said I looked stupid. My mom took me to a doctor. He diagnosed me with ADHD, and prescribed some pill called concerta. I became a little depressed but always tried to never show it.

But, what's in the past is in the past. What matters is now, because now is the moment you'll always be living at the moment it happens, right? So, anyways; I'm walking through the alleyway, and halfway through it, some girl fell through a rift in mid-air. She landed on her head, and was knocked unconscious. I ran up to her, and knelt down. 'I know there's no such thing as angels, but THAT is one coincidence I'll never forget.' I thought. I then turned her on her back so I could see her face. Hair was in the way, so I brushed it aside, and looked at the beautiful face underneath. The only thing out of place was the blood on her forehead. I took out my water bottle and poured some on my fingers. I then wiped away the blood. I looked for something in my backpack to use, and only found the shirt I took off during gym class so it wouldn't get sweaty. I muttered "Time to put you to some use, eh?" as I wrapped it around her head. It was an old shirt, so I'd probably throw it out or something.

I put her on my back (which was incredibly difficult), and ran home. I took her off my back and put her arm around my shoulder while I dug the keys out my left pocket. I unlocked the door, punched in the code, closed the doors and brought her upstairs. I laid her down on the bed, and got a closer look at her...that is, after getting the bandages and some neosporin out of the medicine cabinet next to my room. She was up to my neck in height. She was wearing a sky blue shirt with a white collar and a yellow tie, a blue skirt with bubbles on the right side, and converse all stars over yellow and periwinkle striped socks. She was actually very pretty. But first things first; fix her up. Then, admire her beauty as you wait. 'Whoa there, bro,' I said to myself mentally. It was my inner-self, now stating, 'Your inner-self speaking; You hardly know her. Don't even try falling for her. At least try to know her first, genius.' "Yeah, you're right," I said to myself. "You've never let me down, you know? Except for that one time...but that's long done." Forgot to mention I'm a little crazy, too.

I walked up to the girl, and as I was undoing the knot on the old shirt, the girl moaned. I stopped for a second, then continued. After getting the shirt off her head, I took some neosporin and rubbed it on the wound. I then took out a big band-aid patch and put it over the spot. Done with that, I went downstairs to go get something from the fridge. Mom left a note that said, 'I'll be working until nine tonight. Eat your food, take a shower, then do your HW. Signed, Mom.' I crumbled the note and threw it out. I then opened the fridge and took out some Chicken Parmesan and put it on a plate, then after remembering I've got someone in my bedroom, I realized I should probably leave some. So I put half of the food back in the fridge, and put the rest in the microwave for 2 minutes.

After I finished eating, I went upstairs and stripped down in the bathroom, since my clothes were sweaty from running with a person on my back. I got in the shower, and started to lather my body with soap. I turned on the shower water, and leaned my hand against the shower stall's glass door. I was deep in thought about my life up to now. I felt I should think back on my life. I don't know why. I just...did. I started to cry (which I hadn't done in a long time) when I thought about my dad never really being there for me. after a few minutes, I turned off the shower water and took my yellow towel to dry off. I wrapped it around my waist so I wouldn't be cold on my way to my room. I headed to the room, and opened my undergarments drawer of my bureau. I took out some boxer briefs and put them on. It was right about then that the girl woke up. I turned around, and looked at the girl sitting up on my bed. She looked over at me, and I only had time to think, 'why is one eye going up and the other down...' before she grabbed my arm and judo-flipped me onto my bed.

She held me down as she asked me, "What do you think you're doing?" "Letting you stay here while that wound on your head heals," I replied. Her eyes widened as she felt her forehead, feeling a bandage over it. Her lower lip went outward and started to quiver. She got off me and sat up, crying, head in her hands. I got closer and put my arm around her, giving her a little friendly shake. She looked up at me and said, "I-I just d-d-don't know what w-went wrong..." 'That sounds familiar,' I thought to myself. But I shook that thought out my head as I asked "What's your name, miss?" That's a habit I gained from calling teachers at school miss. She said "D-derpy Hooves," as she wiped away the tears on her face with her wrist.

I swear the poker face I had would've put any meme to shame. "Say what?" I asked. 'No way,' I thought. 'If she's here...then that must mean...Equestria's real. I have to see it, I just have to,' She looked at me and said, "Look, I don't know how I got here or, where I am or even how to get back to Ponyville. Please, you've got to help me." I thought of saying I didn't think she could get back, but the way she looked at me with sad eyes on the verge of tears, I just felt it was my duty to help her. I just had to. So I said, "...Yes. I'll help."

And that's how it all began. From a hole in mid-air dropping Derpy head first into an alleyway.

Comments

[Infinty Blade Brony]

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Deeeeeeerrrrrrrpppppppyyyyyyy yyyyyyoooooouuuuu aaaaaarrrreeee aaaaaawwwweeeesssssooooommmmeeeee!

[Savior]

I was half expecting her to be raped.

[Savior]

I was half expecting her to be raped.

[ButtonMash]

Let's see how this turns out...

[Old Diggy]

He diagnosed me with ADHD, and prescribed some pill called concerta.

I HATED taking that medicine, didn't help any that I had to take Strattera as well as Concerta. Before I started taking the pills you couldn't even tell I had ADHD or Tourettes (Visual Tics not Vocal) but about a week after I started taking the pills they both started acting up terribly and now, 5 years after just saying feck it I'm done taking these pills, my ADHD and Tourettes still act up, not nearly as badly as when I was taking the pills but still, enough that people question it, doesn't help any that I (And almost every other male in my family) have anger problems (I'm just better than most at keeping it under wraps until I get somewhere that I can let off some steam) and I'm not a people person, as I prefer spending my time outside with nature by myself(Preferably on a clear night with the stars out) rather than with anybody, only a few people can be with me when I want to be alone and have it not bother me, none of which are family. Dang it, I keep going off on tangents, kinda funny considering you'll be lucky to hear me say more than 20 words a day even if you followed me around all day, this is why I don't write, even if I knew how to, It would accidentally end up as a journal containing every thought that passed through my head as I was writing instead of what I wanted to write.

[Striker Flash]

4600567
I understand what you mean entirely. I was the same only back then I didnt know any better as I got older things changed. I am now off that damn stuff and am living perfectly fine. SOme say I should be put back on the stuff and I say, bluntly "No." Well I have a few other choice words but beyond that yeah.

[Mr Swanky Hat]

But, what's in the past is in the past. What matters is now, because now is the moment you'll always be living at the moment it happens, right?

actually, do to the delay between the senses and the brain, you are a few milliseconds in the past, you are never in the moment

[JazzyWaffles]

Split up your paragraphs into smaller ones.

Make a new paragraph for every time there is a new speaker.

Also, get a proof-reader.

[AuthorGenesis]

4022005
So the Protagonist is one who abducts unconscious females? And not once does he think to take her to a hospital or clinic to be properly examined by medical professionals. I can't see anything going wrong here.