[Present Day]
I slipped through the castle in the guise of Princess Luna, doing my best to look like I was in a hurry but not rushing. A rushing Princess would cause panic, which would bring guards and Celestia, and I only wanted to see one of those right now.
I had maybe eighteen hours before Luna reformed, or was reborn, whatever it is alicorns do. Plenty of time. I clip-clopped my way through the marble hallways of the castle, following directions I’d been given by a servant when I asked where ‘my sister’ was. The alarm was still sounding, so I probably should have expected to be directed to the throne room. Luna did all her planning there as well, way back when.
When I entered, Celestia’s head shot up, relief painting her face when she saw ‘her sister’. “Luna, you have no idea how glad I am to see you.”
I tried to smile back, doing everything I could not to growl at her. “And I you, sister.” I could hear a whispering around me, coming from nowhere and nothing.
kill her kill her kill her
Not yet, I thought. She suffers first. The whispering quieted down, barely audible but still there. “Tell me, sister, what is the cause of all this alarm?”
The whispering grew louder the second she opened her ugly mug. Celestia grimaced as she spoke. “I’m afraid one of things I sealed away a thousand years ago seems to have broken loose.”
“Which one?”
Celestia tilted her head to one side. “I believe he went by ‘Spy’. He worked for Nightmare Moon. I really don’t know all the much about him. You probably know more than I do.” She gave me a small smile as she spoke. Was she on to me? No, the disguise was perfect. They always are.
“He was never very forthcoming about his abilities. He simply showed up on day, gave a passphrase and asked to serve her.” I walked over to Celestia. The whispering grew louder with every step.
kill her kill her kill her
“He is a master of stealth and trickery,” I said, ignoring the words. But that didn’t stop me thinking about it. How to do it? So many choices. Fire doesn’t work. “He wields knives with unparalleled skill, as you know-” I paused as Celestia shifted uncomfortably, no doubt remembering the feel of my blade between her wings. That was always an option, but it wasn’t enough. “He has a third weapon he uses only rarely. I personally never saw it’s use, but he claimed it could kill anything that bled.” Decapitation? No, too quick for her.
Celestia frowned. Her horn, I decided. I’ll break it off and stab her with it.
“What do you say to gathering the Elements? Would they even work on such a creature?”
I frowned, pretending to think, then actually thinking. Would the Elements work on me? They had the power, certainly, if they could work on some of the other things in the garden, but she didn’t use them on me last time. Maybe I should try and steal one, just to be safe. I was a foot away from Celestia now, and just itching to stab her between the eyes. The voice was a whisper no longer, pounding through my mind like thunder.
kill her kill her kill her
Celestia sighed, looking down. “I think we should gather the Elements, just to be safe. But I do not want them anywhere near that thing. They are too pure to stand being near that creature for long.” Whats this? She was no longer the Bearer? “And I do not like the idea of Twilight near so horrible a creature.” Okay. This Twilight, whoever it was, was going to die. Celestia looked back up at me. “I will summon the Elements. Check the garden, see if anything else has come free.” She walked passed me, and the voice rose even louder, becoming a command from on high.
KILL HER
My hand twitched, almost drawing a knife as she walked away, her spine inches from me. I could do it. I was fast enough that she would never see it coming. But it was the middle of the day, the height of Celestia’s power. She would be back within the hour. So I let her pass, and planned how to break her.
Celestia values some things above all others. Her sister, her little ponies, and her country. I didn’t have anything that could put either of them down for good, and bringing down a regime as loved as hers would be hard, and I didn’t want to wait. I wanted her broken, her spirit crushed and heart shattered. Which meant her little ponies had to die.
And I knew just where to find help. I went to the garden.
[One thousand and two years earlier]
I was doing my best to sneak across a battlefield while wearing red and being a good two feet taller than everyone else there. It was surprisingly easy. Well, maybe it isn’t surprising when you have a watch that turns you invisible. It didn’t last long, but as long as I took regular breaks no one was going to see me.
While I took those breaks, I thought of what Princess Luna, the horse I had met, had told me about her sister. The jist of it was, I had to assassinate a nigh invincible, quasi-immortal goddess of the Sun and, because things like that don’t stay dead, I had to do it a lot. With the moon in the sky, I’d need to do it around once every two days and each time, it was going to get harder and harder.
Of course, I did tell her it’d be no problem. I don’t know why. It sounded like quite a lot of problem. A least three metric fucktons of problem, probably closer to four. Well, I do know why I said it. You can’t tell a nigh invincible, quasi-immortal goddess of the Moon that, sorry, you can’t help her. That you lied to her. That upsets people, even horsey-people, and when royalty gets upset, people end up with very short haircuts.
It took me a few hours to sneak across the warzone, and in all that time the moon didn’t move an inch. I was nearing the edge of the camp, and could see a sentry there, scanning around for any signs of movement. He didn’t see any. As I snuck up on him, I felt something fall into my hand. Taking my eye from the guard for a second, I saw it was a knife. It was fairly fancy, with a design carved in the blade, an ornate wooden hilt and a curved gold guard. I glanced back at the guard, and moved close. When I was right next to him, my hand started moving by itself. It spun the blade around, so it was point down, towards the ground and then, faster than I should rightly be able to move, I was grabbing the guard and sinking the blade to the hilt into his throat. I could hear him trying to raise the alarm, but all that came out was a gurgling sound as he began to drown in his own blood.
And then the body vanished. I didn’t even have time to worry about that, as my suit began to move, shifting over me like it was filled with coked up ferrets. And then it stopped. Nothing had changed that I could see. I kept looking, so I wouldn’t think about the thing I just ki-
Nope, not thinking about it. In fact, I’m going to not think about it over there.
I walked through the camp, doing my best to remain hidden when I caught sight of my reflection. A horse looked back at me.
I looked down. Nope, still had two legs. So, I just looked like a pony. That was, okay. I could work with that.
I was so very, very confused.
In started walking through the camp again, not trying to remain hidden, but not trying to be seen either. Just a regular, ordinary talking pony, going about is regular, ordinary talking pony business. I walked around with no real destination in mind. I was pretty sure where I had to go - the most important things are always in the centre. But I had no idea what to do when I got there. I mean, I wasn’t going to kill anything el- nope, not thinking about it.
I could come clean, tell this Princess Celestia that the enemy was sending assassins for her. I mean, she probably already knew that, and even if she believed me she’d have no reason to keep me alive. But it’s not like I had any other options. None I was willing to consider, at least. With that in mind, I went towards the middle of the camp.
I got a few looks, and even a couple of waves, but no one stopped me. One even winked at me. I honestly couldn’t tell if it was male or female. Hell, I didn’t know what I was disguised as. It wasn’t like I could stop and check in the middle of camp.
It took a few minutes of wandering, but eventually I found my way to the nicest, most heavily guarded tent in the camp. Either the Princess was in here, or they had a lot of booze. Either would be good.
The guards outside the tent didn’t even blink as I walked towards the tent. I was about to head inside when a shimmering wall of energy sprang up inches from my face. I paused, then frowned. I looked to the guard on my right. “I need to see the Princess. Now.”
He looked over at me, then turned forward. “Nopony is to be allowed in. Orders from the Princess.”
“I have information she’ll want to hear.” The guards just ignored me. “Look, if the Princess doesn’t think this information was worth disturbing her, I’ll take whatever punishment she sees fit to give me. But I think she’ll want to hear this.”
The two guards looked at each other, then one on the left nodded slightly. The barrier vanished and he disappeared inside the tent. He came out a few seconds later.
“The Princess will see you now. Make it quick, and make it good.”
I nodded, and went in. I felt the barrier spring into place behind me.
The inside of the tent was fairly dark, but that didn’t hide the winged unicorn laying on a pile of cushions in the centre. She was white as fresh snow, her hair all the colours of the sunrise, shifting in a breeze I could almost feel.
I was struck with a sudden, inexplicable urge to kill her.
kill her kill her kill her
My voice was shaky when I spoke. “Your Highness,” I said, dropping to one knee. I didn’t even wonder what that would look like as a pony, but it must have been okay because she didn’t mention it. “I bring word of an assassin, sent to kill you.”
“Another?” she asked, her voice less surprised and more confused. “Has my sister not learned that no such scoundrel in the realm can best me? But I should not let myself grow overconfident. Tell me, Sure Strike, what you know if this blackguard, and how.”
kill her kill her kill her
Why wouldn’t that voice shut up? It was pushing it’s way into my mind, destroying everything in it’s way. Thinking hurt when I heard it, I found it hard to breathe, I forgot to blink. The world faded away except for the thing in front of me and the knife that found it’s way to my hand. Maybe if I killed her, the voice would stop. It’s not like I was really killing her. It was more like knocking her out. Yeah, she’d be fine. It wasn’t murder. Besides, it’s not like she’s a person.
“He is a master of disguise,” I said, rising and taking a step forward. It’s not murder if they don’t. “Capable of impersonating almost anything.” Another step. Her side was to me, her head pointing away. It’s not murder if they come back.. “A master of stealth, he can be anywhere.” A third, final step. I was right next to her, but I don’t think she knew that. The cushions muffled the sound of my steps, my voice masking the rest. It’s not murder if the voice stops. “And he is always right behind you.”
She stiffened as my blade slipped into her back between her long, soft wings.
Ownt.
Good, I like it!
I imagine that as he said that last line his voice changed to the French accent the spy has, like in the 'Meet The Spy' thing. I mean, how badass is that? I can just imagine it now...
Guards: Where is he!? He was just here!
'Guard': He's right behind you. *Knife in the back*
But really, my silliness aside, I like this story right now a lot, please go on.
owned
SURPRISE MOTHEFUCKER!!
3993043 SPY FOR LIFE
Spy: -Mock royal canter lot voice- Thou art dead, stabbeth by a man in a suit. Now, We shall be thee and mess up everything.
I love this, I love this so much. He is always behind you.
3992972 sadly it's only gonna be spy
3993043
ENGINEERS ARE BETTER!
3993977
sadly?
sadly!
SADLY!!!
THIS IS A HAPPY DAY, THERE IS NO SADLY!
3994865
It's not the class, it's how well the class is played.
3994865 tolldiers are best class and fuck you I wanted at tolldiers to appear man treads rocket jumper and gardner
3994933
Engineer is best class, and you can't prove me wrong because the entirety of the internet's logic revolves around 'argument from ignorance', and, therefore, unless you can make a case that I am wrong I am right.
3995030
i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm251/superhotbunman/memes/i-think-its-trying-to-communicate.png
3994933 Agreed. Any class, playing well, can turn the tide in any battle, to my experience.
3995107
Agreed. It's a giant game of rock-paper-scissors, where, if paper is awesome enough, it beats scissors.
3995107
3995118
That's not to say that each class requires the same level of skill.
For example, Heavy, Soldier and Demoman can still be credit to team by spamming in the right direction and walking towards the objective.
However, if you do that with any of the picking classes, you're an idiot, or it's your first game.
Of the classes, non-hitscan/jumping and Spy seem to have the highest skill ceilings (such that you can simply be so much better that other than hard counters, you kill everything. Examples are the Spy, vs the Pyro; a good Pyro can shut you down in seconds, even despite DR and Spycicle, and every Soldier must beware the Sniper and the Scout, rockets not having instant travel time, etc)
*paper balls itself up*
This story is like nice wine. Exelent in it's bitterness and with a subtle flavour that makes the taste all the more enjoyable.
Excellent chapter indeed
I don't really get the whole voices thing when Spy is near the guard or Celestia, he sounds just as crazy as when he first arrived in Equestria compared to 1000 years later when it describes him as completely and utterly beyond what is even referred to as insane. Another troubling concern is when he questions himself how easily and willing he was to kill something he just discards that thought process instantly robbing him of further character development. Not to mention after being released by Nightmare all he needed to do was just run away, he literally has no incentive to get close to Celestia and if he does want to murder something, why not Nightmare considering she was the one ordering him around
SURPRISE CELESTIA!
Suprise
3995240
I'm gonna take your points one at a time.
About his sanity. If he'd been set free a hundred or so years earlier, he would have been an insane, gibbering wreck. He started to really hate the Princess in the last century of his imprisonment, and it gave him something to focus on, helping him regain some measure of sanity.
For the murder thing, in the past, at first he ignores it, then he rationalises it away, which is easy to do when the body dissapears and there's no evidence but his memories.
As for leaving after Luna let's him go, yeah, he could have. But his options were the forest, the battlefield or a random other direction with who knows what there. He chose the battlefield, and was going to see if Celestia would help him when, well, y'know what happened. Plus, he isn't exactly thinking straight.
3995147 True. I'm personally a horrible spy. In fact, I suck at most of the classes. But I am the best Medic that I know, at the least.
3995698
I'm an okay spy. I can fake it enough to either kill the nest or poke the objective, or get them paranoid. However, ridiculous trickstabs (I can only do slope/stair stabs, and I rarely hit) and other high-skill tricks are beyond me.
However, I am the worst nightmare to spies whenever I play as Pyro. My typical loadout is Degreaser/(detonator, shotgun, or reserve)/(homewrecker/mailbox/powerjack) depending on the other team's class spread. If there are no enemy pyros, det/flare and postal (depending on if there are det jumps on the map) destroys them, and if there are spies, homewrecker to be a pybro when our Engie needs a hand.
...you see where it's going.
I'm pretty sure that, while Spy is my most-played class by hours (Whenever I'm playing with friends, I just troll them endlessly until they start catching on) but skill-wise I've got to say that Pyro and Engie are my most skilled classes.
*snort*
*no longer
3996921
Celestia and Luna used to be the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony.
Edit: Just realised after posting you were pointing out an error, not asking a questions. My bad.
3995066 broken image
3995747 Yeah, I usually play with the default flamethrower, the Neon Annihilator, and the Scorch Shot. For some reason I can't stand the Degreaser, and I have yet to get a Backburner.
I usually play Pryo to spycheck choke-points and help out engineers.
Engies may be both the hardest and the easiest class to play though. I play that class like you should play a heavy.
3999719
You might just have trouble with the stupidly fast weapon-switch speed. Or maybe it's the dip in afterburn damage.
The trick to Engie is you gotta know where to put your sentry, and you gotta either be able to protect it or be ready to lose it and drop another. My typical loadouts are Offense: Widowmaker/FJ, Pistol and Gunslinger, and Defense: Rescue Ranger/Stock/FJ, Pistol/Wrangler, and Jag. I also tend to start every round (typically atk/def or payload) by swapping to engie even if I'm not playing, and upgrading the other engie's tele/etc as high as I can before heading out as whatever class I'm playing.
Oh, and my favorite loadouts (they're tied, I'm sorry) are Rocket Jumper/Mantreads/(Escape Plan or Equalizer) or (any)/Sticky Jumper/Ullapool Caber. So much lulz.
4000103
I really only play Soldier, Spy or Scout. As soldier I've never managed to get used to rocket jumper. I prefer my strange stock anyway. I run stock scatter gun as scout as well.
4000134
I've got to the point where I can play any class well enough to plug a hole in a team's composition (except maybe Sniper, I need more practice with him) but I've still got my preferred classes.
Are you not used to the Rocket Jumper specifically, or do you just not RJ often enough?
4001908
Dunno. That just seems to be how it is. Gives an opening, lets people get the mental ball rolling.
I don't know why, but here:
i982.photobucket.com/albums/ae305/igetbore_productions/signature_zps1e0eba40.png
Also, this is really awesome.
4003319
“Because the night is yours, and I love the night.” is a passphrase for the Lunar army.
4003319
IAmInASnuggie is right. Also, she is still Luna.
3995147 I think my favorite part about playing Spy is how mad people get. Really fun on alltalk servers.
4002630 And then the noob spys got burnt to a crisp, while all the good ones destroyed the pyros. Seen it before.
4006056
4006033
Actually, with a Spy and a Pyro of equal skill, 9 out of 10 engagements will end with Pyro in a better spot than Spy. The problem is that 60% of Pub Pyros are w+m1, 35% are w+m2, and 5% are of at least decent skill...
In alltalk servers, I play around a LOT more than I should. I also stalk single targets a lot more than I should, because I find it hilarious.
4006191 Depends on the range. Any farther than flamethrower range, a good spy will easily two or three-shot the pyro with the Amby. Most of the time.
4006600
Letting the Pyro know where the Spy is, allowing the Pyro to alert the team... but that never happens in pubs. Not to mention the flares, etc.
However, I was more referring to stock-vs-stock. Besides, since they've buffed the L'Etranger and the Diamondback, I've personally not seen it used as much. Myself, I prefer the longer cloak of the L'Etranger, as I pop nests and pick (going for mutual destruction and speed over a chance of personal survival) rather than hang about.
Oh! Something worth mentioning, is that most Pyros are typically smart enough to not charge towards someone shooting at them unless they're already giving them a nice warm hug...
4006666 Not sure what skill level you're thinking here, like pubstompers? Or silver/gold/plat UGC highlander?
But yes, stock vs stock, I think the pyro would probably be at an advantage. Depends on the terrain a lot. If the spy can make the pyro think he will cornerstab/stairstab/etc. then the pyro will be either forced to risk getting stabbed, or be cautious and give the spy the chance to put more distance between him and the pyro. Unless the pyro is good with the shotty, then it's just a DM match. The revolver should be able to kill the pyro in 5 shots, even at medium range, while the pyro should be able to easily three shot the spy at medium range. Meet me on a server sometime and find out?
4006709
Little of both; overall skill rather than team skill. I will say that once the Spy is on fire, about the only thing they can do is go for a trickstab to take someone down with them.
Highlander and pubstomping are two different 'styles' of being skilled. Highlander gets you used to working with your team (as it should be in most games) whereas pubs get you used to working alone, or with at most a friend or two lending a hand...
Oddly enough, Pyro and Spy are two classes where playing one can really help your skills with playing the other. You don't really find matchups like that often...
4006745 We still talking stock?
I disagree to some extent, even without spycicle or DR, there are few places on any map where you can't get to a health pack before dying to afterburn. And still, even the best pyros often throw caution to the wind once the spy is burning and starts running away, wanting to make sure he dies, making it easy for a cornerstab or stairstab.
at the end of the fic spy dissapears and you reveal his severed head in fluttershys fridge.
4006882
I wasn't talking about dying to afterburn, exactly, rather just the combination of the burn, the Spy panicking, and a blast from the shotgun tend to cripple rather quickly, and a puff from the flamethrower can make it even worse.
4006958 Well if you're so skeptical, why don't we play together and find out?
4007106
Because a lot of these scenarios don't often occur 1v1 in pubs, and I'm played out on TF2 at the moment.
4007233 Well, if you're ever interested, add me. http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198109468447/