A cosplayer dressed as not only a spy, but the Spy, winds up in Equestria, in the middle of a massive war, with no memories of who he was.
They say revenge is a dish best served cold. I used to wonder, how cold should it be? Well, I know now. The sort of cold that comes from eternal night and being locked in stone for over a thousand years. The sort that comes from the only person you think you can trust betraying you.
The sort of cold that comes from a knife in the back.
The Moon betrayed me. The Sun entombed me alive. And they were going to pay.
One thousand years, eight months, twelve days and thirty two minutes. That is how long I was encased in stone, standing immobile and unblinking, with only a sheet of rock to entertain me. I went mad, went madder, then passed beyond insanity into the glorious world of hatred.
But enough of that. I have work to be about. I slipped unseen into a tower that smelled of burnt gunpowder and was built of grey and blue stone, standing out in the white marble of the rest of the castle I was in like an unloved child at a family dinner. I climbed the stairs, silent as death, and pushed open the heavy wooden door. I stepped up behind the room’s sole occupant even as the alarm went up and her head snapped to the window.
I flexed my wrist, and there was no sound, no flash of light, but a thin, sharp blade slid out from the right cuff of my suit. It had a curved point, and the wooden handle fit my hand to perfection. Being locked in stone is amazing for preserving ancient artifacts, which I guess I was now.
She spun around, horn aglow with some magic, which sputtered out as soon as she saw me.
“No,” she mumbled. “Not you. Anything but you.”
“Yes, Luna. It is I!” I struck a pose, showing off my roguish looks. “Back from the dead; or at least, from stone.”
“That is not my fault, and you know it. I was banished shortly after my sister found thy hiding place.”
I nodded. She was right. “I’m not here to hurt you, Luna.” Well, that’s not my ultimate goal. “I’m here because I’m going to break your sister!”
I think it was the smile I said it with that pissed her off the most. She lunged at me with her hoof, which I dodged easily enough. She was out of practice. Still, she probably had enough power in that small area to put a fair dent in my chest. Couldn’t have that.
I dodged a few more times, smiling all the while, making her angrier and angrier. “Luna, Luna, lunatic. Have you forgotten? Where am I always?”
Her eyes grew wide and she spun around faster than a four legged animal should be able to.
I grinned, stepping up next to her. Leaning down slightly, I whispered in her ear, “Right behind you.” My blade sunk into the side of her neck, severing her spine. She was dead in less than a second. My suit seemed to come alive, and I knew what I would see if I looked in a mirror, but I couldn’t stop myself. Walking over to a dresser, I peered down at the small hand mirror laying atop it. Princess Luna stared back.
It was a disguise, of course. I take the form of anything I kill with that knife. But Luna wouldn’t be down for long. It’s one thing to kill an alicorn. It’s another to make her stay dead. I learned that, a little over a thousand years ago, and learned it the hard way.
[A world away]
I stood in front of my full sized mirror, fixing my cuffs and adjusting my suit. It may sound arrogant, but I looked awesome as hell. Cosplaying as the Red Spy from Team Fortress 2 had probably been one of the best idea’s I’d ever had. Sure, the mask made it hard for people to see my lovely face, but it was a price worth paying. My suit fit like a dream, better even. Not bad for something hand made by an amateur, if I say so myself.
I looked over myself, and also made sure I had everything. Invis watch? Stock and Dead Ringer. Knives? Your Eternal Reward and a Conniver's Kunai. Sapper? Check. Cigarette case? Also check. Gun? Just the Ambassador. And finally, what every TF2 player will recognise as the most important part of the cosplay: the hat. Oh hell yes, check. My handmade Hat of Cards was proudly atop my head. I was ready.
And not a moment too soon, as a second later I was assaulted by the sound of screeching tires, a car horn, and yells of, “Get your ass out here, maggot!”
I put on my best, exaggerated French accent. “One moment!” I did one, final check of all my gear, because I would be seriously pissed if I forgot any of it. Cigarette case slash disguise kit was in the inside jacket pocket, along with the gun, Dead Ringer in left trouser, knives up the sleeves. I grabbed a few more things, wallet and the like, and put them in the pocket of my suit.
In the driveway was my friend John, currently in his guise as the Soldier from TF2. He saw me locking my door and screamed, “Move, maggot!” in his best Drill Sergeant Nasty voice. Considering he was a drill sergeant, he did pretty well. I got in the passenger seat, and he pulled out the drive in a way that had to be illegal.
“So, is that gonna be your thing today? Shouting ‘maggot’ at everyone?”
He just grinned as he picked up even more speed. I leaned back in my chair and gripped that handle above the door. A lot of people wonder why they're there, but I know. It’s because some people, like John, are fucking crazy behind the wheel. Fine in person, but sit them in a thin metal shell and they think they’re in a tank or something. Course, he has driven tanks, and has never been the smartest guy, so he might honestly just be confused.
Somehow, though, we made it to the convention in one piece. With a quick check to make sure we weren’t leaving anything in the car, we headed inside. Around halfway there, John glanced at my hat. “Nice hat. I can see why it took you so long.”
I just grinned. Damn right, the thing was amazing. Real leather, silk band. Card was an ace of hearts to, which went well with me being the Red Spy. We were pretty early, but there was already a hell of a queue. Luckily, I know a guy, so we went around back and got in a service entrance. Of course, I thanked the guy that let us in with a little cash, but whats money between friends?
Alright, I’d never seen the guy before in my life. But he wanted some money, I had money and wanted in. Everyone wins. Mostly me though.
Inside, John and I split up, heading different ways after agreeing to meet up for lunch. I wandered around, looking at booths and other cosplayers, seeing some pretty amazing costumes. I was checking out one booth full of knick-knacks, when the guy behind it said, “I think you’ve lost something.”
I glanced up at him. “Excuse me?”
“Your hat. It’s missing something.”
Taking it off, I saw the card was missing. Ah, shit. If it doesn’t have a card, it’s not the Hat of Cards. It’s just a hat. It doesn’t even get a capital letter. I let out a sigh, then glanced up to see the merchant shuffling a deck of cards. He fanned them out and, with a cheesy grin, said, “Pick a card, any card.”
I grabbed one at random. It was the King of Clubs. I slipped it in the band of my Hat. “How much do I owe you?” I asked, pulling out my wallet.
He waved me away. “It’s just a card, nothing more.” I didn’t like the way he smiled as he said it, but eh, I wasn’t going to complain. Still, I bought the rest of the deck. I’ve already lost one, might lose another. Plus, it was down one card, so it’s not like he could sell it.
After that, I started to get a lot of compliments, especially for the hat. I mean, yeah, it was a nice hat, a real nice hat, but it was getting a bit absurd. Eventually, I stopped someone, a girl in a very nice, very accurate cosplay of Powergirl, and asked her what she liked about it.
She gave me probably the brightest grin I’ve ever seen. “The Unusual effect on it’s the best bit. I have no idea how you got it to glow like that, but it rocks!” And then she vanished, wolf whistles following behind her. I watched her walk away, enjoying the view- wait, glow?
I took of my hat and looked at it. Sure enough, it was glowing. To be specific, the card was glowing. What the almighty fuck? The card was bloody shimmering, with little hearts, clubs, spades and diamonds floating around it like little shiny moons. It was giving of a blood red light that felt so, so very right, and I was floating and falling and I think someone slipped me something, but I was too busy screaming to care.
Wind rushed past as the ground moved up to greet me.
[One thousand and two years earlier]
I woke up who knows how long later to the sound of screaming and metal hitting metal. I was in the middle of a forest somewhere, with the moon full and high above. It was really fucking big as well, much bigger than I ever remember seeing it. The stars were bright as fuck as well, like a bunch of ‘roided up fireflies.
I pushed myself up. “The hell was I on?” I asked the forest, not expecting an answer. I didn’t get one. Thankfully, I was at the edge of the forest, so I hobbled to the treeline to see where I was.
I was in a warzone.
Two armies met in the field at the edge of the forest, one side in bright silver armour, the other in a grey so dark it was basically black. I was behind the grey-clad army, and shitting myself. Still, I couldn’t help but notice all the horses. In fact, I couldn’t see a single person. Hell, the horses had swords in their mouths. It was like some small horse war. It only got trippier from there. I saw horses fucking flying, dive bombing other horses. Pegasi, I guess. Even weirder was the unicorns. They had to be doing magic, there is no other fucking explanation. They’re horns glowed, and other horses died, in a variety or disgusting and explosive way. I turned and walked back into the forest, muttering, ‘nope,’ repeatedly under my breath.
And I walked straight into a horse.
A full grown one, wearing black armour and a crown and with fucking cat’s eyes, slitted pupils staring down at me like an angry and unpleased god inspecting an ant and wondering about the best way to rain down holy fire. So I did the first thing I could think of, when faced with what had to someone important. I turned on the charm.
I placed a hand over my heart and gave a small bow. “M’lady, I beg your forgiveness. I am just a traveller, lost and weary. Could you perhaps tell me where I am?”
She glared down her nose at me. She was very good at it, probably because she had a lot of nose to stare down. “We can. But We will not, for the slight thou have given.”
Who was this we- oh shit, crown, we with one person, she was fucking royalty. I turned the charm up full blast. I dropped to one knee this time. “Your Highness, I do humbly beg forgiveness. I did not know to whom I spoke.” Thank you, Shakespear. If it weren’t for you, there is no way I’d know what to say.
“As you beg so humbly, your forgiveness We shall grant. Arise, and tell Us thy name, traveller, and where thou art from to be so weary during Our glorious night.”
Okay, she likes the night. I like the night. This I can work with. I can survive this. “Your Highness, I am called-” I paused, stumped. I did not know my name. I decided I could panic when I wasn’t worried about being beheaded for annoying the Queen. “Spy,” I finished. It felt right. I was dressed as a spy.
“‘Spy,’” she repeated. “And pray tell Us, Spy, what brings thee here?”
“I have come to assist you in your war.” Where the fuck did that come from? I did not want to say that. I did not want to fight in a war. I was too pretty to go to war. But I say her shift slightly. I had her attention, so I rolled with it. “I am, as my name implies, a master spy and assassin. And I would be your master spy and assassin, if you would have me.”
She seemed surprised by this, and surprise quickly became suspicion. “Are you now? Tell me, Spy, why should We trust the word of an assassin?”
The words came to me in a flash of insight, as a whisper from the night, and I knew they were therightwords. “Because the night is yours, and I love the night.”
Her suspicion disappeared instantly. “Very well. Come with Us.” She turned and walked away without another word. With no other options, I followed. There was a shimmering feeling, like someone was standing behind me, and I was surrounded by little horses. They all glanced at me, then saw the big horse next to me, and promptly lost interest. She led me to a large, elegant tent, not the sort used for camping, but for living in. I followed her inside. She was behind a large, wooden desk, dark as pitch.
“We do not know why thou did not use the passphrase immediately, but it matters little,” she said, looking over her desk at me. “I have a mission for thee, Spy. One of the gravest import. Thou must kill my sister.”
I slipped through the castle in the guise of Princess Luna, doing my best to look like I was in a hurry but not rushing. A rushing Princess would cause panic, which would bring guards and Celestia, and I only wanted to see one of those right now.
I had maybe eighteen hours before Luna reformed, or was reborn, whatever it is alicorns do. Plenty of time. I clip-clopped my way through the marble hallways of the castle, following directions I’d been given by a servant when I asked where ‘my sister’ was. The alarm was still sounding, so I probably should have expected to be directed to the throne room. Luna did all her planning there as well, way back when.
When I entered, Celestia’s head shot up, relief painting her face when she saw ‘her sister’. “Luna, you have no idea how glad I am to see you.”
I tried to smile back, doing everything I could not to growl at her. “And I you, sister.” I could hear a whispering around me, coming from nowhere and nothing.
kill her kill her kill her
Not yet, I thought. She suffers first. The whispering quieted down, barely audible but still there. “Tell me, sister, what is the cause of all this alarm?”
The whispering grew louder the second she opened her ugly mug. Celestia grimaced as she spoke. “I’m afraid one of things I sealed away a thousand years ago seems to have broken loose.”
“Which one?”
Celestia tilted her head to one side. “I believe he went by ‘Spy’. He worked for Nightmare Moon. I really don’t know all the much about him. You probably know more than I do.” She gave me a small smile as she spoke. Was she on to me? No, the disguise was perfect. They always are.
“He was never very forthcoming about his abilities. He simply showed up on day, gave a passphrase and asked to serve her.” I walked over to Celestia. The whispering grew louder with every step.
kill her kill her kill her
“He is a master of stealth and trickery,” I said, ignoring the words. But that didn’t stop me thinking about it. How to do it? So many choices. Fire doesn’t work. “He wields knives with unparalleled skill, as you know-” I paused as Celestia shifted uncomfortably, no doubt remembering the feel of my blade between her wings. That was always an option, but it wasn’t enough. “He has a third weapon he uses only rarely. I personally never saw it’s use, but he claimed it could kill anything that bled.” Decapitation? No, too quick for her.
Celestia frowned. Her horn, I decided. I’ll break it off and stab her with it.
“What do you say to gathering the Elements? Would they even work on such a creature?”
I frowned, pretending to think, then actually thinking. Would the Elements work on me? They had the power, certainly, if they could work on some of the other things in the garden, but she didn’t use them on me last time. Maybe I should try and steal one, just to be safe. I was a foot away from Celestia now, and just itching to stab her between the eyes. The voice was a whisper no longer, pounding through my mind like thunder.
kill her kill her kill her
Celestia sighed, looking down. “I think we should gather the Elements, just to be safe. But I do not want them anywhere near that thing. They are too pure to stand being near that creature for long.” Whats this? She was no longer the Bearer? “And I do not like the idea of Twilight near so horrible a creature.” Okay. This Twilight, whoever it was, was going to die. Celestia looked back up at me. “I will summon the Elements. Check the garden, see if anything else has come free.” She walked passed me, and the voice rose even louder, becoming a command from on high.
KILL HER
My hand twitched, almost drawing a knife as she walked away, her spine inches from me. I could do it. I was fast enough that she would never see it coming. But it was the middle of the day, the height of Celestia’s power. She would be back within the hour. So I let her pass, and planned how to break her.
Celestia values some things above all others. Her sister, her little ponies, and her country. I didn’t have anything that could put either of them down for good, and bringing down a regime as loved as hers would be hard, and I didn’t want to wait. I wanted her broken, her spirit crushed and heart shattered. Which meant her little ponies had to die.
And I knew just where to find help. I went to the garden.
[One thousand and two years earlier]
I was doing my best to sneak across a battlefield while wearing red and being a good two feet taller than everyone else there. It was surprisingly easy. Well, maybe it isn’t surprising when you have a watch that turns you invisible. It didn’t last long, but as long as I took regular breaks no one was going to see me.
While I took those breaks, I thought of what Princess Luna, the horse I had met, had told me about her sister. The jist of it was, I had to assassinate a nigh invincible, quasi-immortal goddess of the Sun and, because things like that don’t stay dead, I had to do it a lot. With the moon in the sky, I’d need to do it around once every two days and each time, it was going to get harder and harder.
Of course, I did tell her it’d be no problem. I don’t know why. It sounded like quite a lot of problem. A least three metric fucktons of problem, probably closer to four. Well, I do know why I said it. You can’t tell a nigh invincible, quasi-immortal goddess of the Moon that, sorry, you can’t help her. That you lied to her. That upsets people, even horsey-people, and when royalty gets upset, people end up with very short haircuts.
It took me a few hours to sneak across the warzone, and in all that time the moon didn’t move an inch. I was nearing the edge of the camp, and could see a sentry there, scanning around for any signs of movement. He didn’t see any. As I snuck up on him, I felt something fall into my hand. Taking my eye from the guard for a second, I saw it was a knife. It was fairly fancy, with a design carved in the blade, an ornate wooden hilt and a curved gold guard. I glanced back at the guard, and moved close. When I was right next to him, my hand started moving by itself. It spun the blade around, so it was point down, towards the ground and then, faster than I should rightly be able to move, I was grabbing the guard and sinking the blade to the hilt into his throat. I could hear him trying to raise the alarm, but all that came out was a gurgling sound as he began to drown in his own blood.
And then the body vanished. I didn’t even have time to worry about that, as my suit began to move, shifting over me like it was filled with coked up ferrets. And then it stopped. Nothing had changed that I could see. I kept looking, so I wouldn’t think about the thing I just ki-
Nope, not thinking about it. In fact, I’m going to not think about it over there.
I walked through the camp, doing my best to remain hidden when I caught sight of my reflection. A horse looked back at me.
I looked down. Nope, still had two legs. So, I just looked like a pony. That was, okay. I could work with that.
I was so very, very confused.
In started walking through the camp again, not trying to remain hidden, but not trying to be seen either. Just a regular, ordinary talking pony, going about is regular, ordinary talking pony business. I walked around with no real destination in mind. I was pretty sure where I had to go - the most important things are always in the centre. But I had no idea what to do when I got there. I mean, I wasn’t going to kill anything el- nope, not thinking about it.
I could come clean, tell this Princess Celestia that the enemy was sending assassins for her. I mean, she probably already knew that, and even if she believed me she’d have no reason to keep me alive. But it’s not like I had any other options. None I was willing to consider, at least. With that in mind, I went towards the middle of the camp.
I got a few looks, and even a couple of waves, but no one stopped me. One even winked at me. I honestly couldn’t tell if it was male or female. Hell, I didn’t know what I was disguised as. It wasn’t like I could stop and check in the middle of camp.
It took a few minutes of wandering, but eventually I found my way to the nicest, most heavily guarded tent in the camp. Either the Princess was in here, or they had a lot of booze. Either would be good.
The guards outside the tent didn’t even blink as I walked towards the tent. I was about to head inside when a shimmering wall of energy sprang up inches from my face. I paused, then frowned. I looked to the guard on my right. “I need to see the Princess. Now.”
He looked over at me, then turned forward. “Nopony is to be allowed in. Orders from the Princess.”
“I have information she’ll want to hear.” The guards just ignored me. “Look, if the Princess doesn’t think this information was worth disturbing her, I’ll take whatever punishment she sees fit to give me. But I think she’ll want to hear this.”
The two guards looked at each other, then one on the left nodded slightly. The barrier vanished and he disappeared inside the tent. He came out a few seconds later.
“The Princess will see you now. Make it quick, and make it good.”
I nodded, and went in. I felt the barrier spring into place behind me.
The inside of the tent was fairly dark, but that didn’t hide the winged unicorn laying on a pile of cushions in the centre. She was white as fresh snow, her hair all the colours of the sunrise, shifting in a breeze I could almost feel.
I was struck with a sudden, inexplicable urge to kill her.
kill her kill her kill her
My voice was shaky when I spoke. “Your Highness,” I said, dropping to one knee. I didn’t even wonder what that would look like as a pony, but it must have been okay because she didn’t mention it. “I bring word of an assassin, sent to kill you.”
“Another?” she asked, her voice less surprised and more confused. “Has my sister not learned that no such scoundrel in the realm can best me? But I should not let myself grow overconfident. Tell me, Sure Strike, what you know if this blackguard, and how.”
kill her kill her kill her
Why wouldn’t that voice shut up? It was pushing it’s way into my mind, destroying everything in it’s way. Thinking hurt when I heard it, I found it hard to breathe, I forgot to blink. The world faded away except for the thing in front of me and the knife that found it’s way to my hand. Maybe if I killed her, the voice would stop. It’s not like I was really killing her. It was more like knocking her out. Yeah, she’d be fine. It wasn’t murder. Besides, it’s not like she’s a person.
“He is a master of disguise,” I said, rising and taking a step forward. It’s not murder if they don’t. “Capable of impersonating almost anything.” Another step. Her side was to me, her head pointing away. It’s not murder if they come back.. “A master of stealth, he can be anywhere.” A third, final step. I was right next to her, but I don’t think she knew that. The cushions muffled the sound of my steps, my voice masking the rest. It’s not murder if the voice stops. “And he is always right behind you.”
She stiffened as my blade slipped into her back between her long, soft wings.
The garden was empty but for dozens of statues and myself. The guards were probably busy looking for me. As if they’d be able to find me. A glance at the sky showed it was around noon, I still had between ten and eighteen hours before Luna had enough power to reform. And while that was happening, I looked like one of their Princesses. I was almost untouchable, beyond reproach.
It felt like cheating, really. It was just too easy.
I walked through the garden, reading the names inscribed on the pedestal they stood on. I didn’t get a statue. I was banished to somewhere filled with an omnipresent white light and absolutely nothing else. I learned a few things while there. The first is that, no matter how hard I try, magic does not have a back to stab. The second is that Celestia counts on sunlight to renew her spells. It’s the only answer I have for how I broke out. Over the course of who the fuck cares how long, the light in my prison dimmed and faded, the walls growing closer together until eventually they crumbled. What was blocking the light, you ask? A house. Someone built on top of me. I doubt she even knew where I was at that point, I’m pretty sure the bitch bound my prison to her seat of power, which she probably thought was her throne (as opposed to her place of Power, which is the Sun). The thing is, when I was bound, her place of power was a mobile camp. Yeah, not the smartest thing to do, is it?
Long story short: she lost me. I killed her more times than I can remember, and she misplaced me like a fucking penny.
It didn’t take long for me to find the one I was looking for. An amalgamation of all sorts of creatures, this abomination was known only as Discord. As soon as I looked at the statue, I heard a voice in my mind, a voice drowning in boredom and tinged with madness.
My, my, if it isn’t the little Lunati… wait a minute. You aren’t Luna. You’re new.
I frowned. My disguises were perfect. How did he see through them?
Oh, they’re good, don’t get me wrong. I’m simply better. So, new meat, what do I call you?
New? I’m hardly new. I’ve been here for a little over a thousand years.
Like I said, new.
Will you stop reading my mind?
No.
Look, Celestia and Luna locked you in stone, right? And you’ve had to have been there a while to think a thousand years is still new.
He didn’t reply right away. When he did, his voice lost some of it’s bored tone, curiosity in its place, though the madness remained the same. Continue.
I’m going to make them suffer. But I need time. Luna is off the board for a few more hours yet, but Celestia is still in play and I can’t counter her directly. You can. Distract her, annoy her, whatever it is you feel like doing, I don’t care.
And how will you do this thing?
Her sister and her no longer wield the Elements. The new bearers are most likely normal ponies, else they would have been more thrones. I find and kill th-
Something slammed into my mind, as undeniable as gravity. It was a thought, a single word.
No.
Gone was the boredom, the curiosity, even the madness. I was not being told an opinion, or a likelihood. I was being told how things would be.
No?
I have done many things, over the eons. Committed atrocities enough to make the most devout question their faith, toyed with lives and minds of uncounted millions, perverted nature for my own amusement. But I have never directly murdered or helped a murderer. This is a line I will not cross. So either come up with a different plan or leave before I change your mind.
So you’re a coward, afraid to face the alicorn sisters? Thats it, isn’t it?
Oh, look at you, trying to manipulate me. It’s almost adorable. But it isn’t going to work.
Well, if not out of fear, then why not?
Just because I’m not playing with something now is no reason to throw it away. Once something’s dead, thats it, it’s gone. It’s just a waste of resources. Even the Elements of Harmony can’t hold me forever. The bonds weaken already. I’ll be out in a year or so.
I heard whispers from everywhere and nowhere when he said the full name of the Elements.
Oh, my, this is interesting. What is a little old spirit doing inside that head of yours? They aren’t exactly common. In fact, this one reminds me of little Lunatic’s imaginary friend.
It was in my head before it was in hers. I murdered a sigh before it could pass my lips. If Discord wouldn’t help me, well, there were plenty of things in the garden that would.
I don’t think you’ll be wanting help from any of them.
The way he said them, full of contempt, caught my attention. He must have noticed, because he continued.
They aren’t really your style. They’re all about the most destruction in the smallest amount of time, which isn’t what you want. You’re sneaky, smart, skilled, but basically useless in a direct confrontation.
I wouldn’t say useless. I have a few tricks up my sleeve. And in my jacket.
Whatever. My point is, they’ll double-cross you as soon as they think they’ll get away with it. An, with how arrogant they are, that’ll be pretty soon.
So I was on my own, basically. Great.
Well, I could give some advice, if you’re willing to listen.
I pinched the bridge of my nose, by this point not caring if anyone found that weird. Continue.
Don’t kill anyone. Celestia can forgive a lot of things, and I’m speaking from experience here, but she will not forgive a murderer. Find any other way of doing this.
I shook my head, smiling slightly. It’s too late for that. If the lives of her little ponies are what she values most, then that’s what I have to take from her. If you aren’t going to help, then I should go. I have work to be about.
I moved away from the statue without waiting for a reply. I was on my own, outnumbered, probably outsmarted, but not outgunned. I had a little over six hours to plan before Luna got back and I had to make my move. I had a thousand years of social norms to learn before I could pose as any given pony. And finally, I had to find at least one of the new Element bearers and kill them. Hopefully they would arrive before nightfall.
[One thousand and two years ago]
“It’s done.” My voice was dull and quiet, my shoulders heavy with apathy, though Luna still jumped when I suddenly appeared in her tent, right behind her. She whirled around, horn aglow and leveled at me. She looked at me. She blinked.
“What did thou say?”
“It’s done. Celestia is dead, for now.”
“So soon?” she asked, her voice full of disbelief. “How?”
I shrugged. A little enthusiasm came to my voice, though it didn’t last. “I’m the best.”
Her horn lit up again, this time with a soft, almost gentle light, shimmering like distant stars and she pointed it skywards. “You speak true. Our sister is not on this plane.” She turned to look at me. “How did you manage this so quickly?”
“Like I said, I’m the best.” She didn’t believe me. I knew, but just couldn’t care. I was tired. This day had been far, far too long. I needed sleep I knew wouldn’t come. “How long do I have?”
Luna licked her lips. Was she nervous? Her ears twitched, eyes rolled. She could just be upset about her sister; I had no idea why they were at war. At the moment, I found it hard to care. “With Our Moon in the sky, it should take Our sister two or three days worth of time to reform. If she does so with haste, it will leave her weak, an easy target for thee. Until then, We will have quarters set aside for thee, as befit your new station.”
I nodded, not really paying attention. The whispers had stopped, being replaced by a gleeful, maniacal laughter that grated on me like fingernails on chalkboard and foil on a filling. It pounded against the back of my head like it was trying to break through my skull and out into the world.
Her horn flashed again, and a guard entered. As soon as he saw me, he charged. I didn’t even look around as Luna’s magic grabbed him, lifting him an inch off the ground, legs still pounding away at air. The guard stopped moving, eyes going wide as he was turned to face his Princess.
“We have a guest in need of quarters. For attempting to attack a guest of your Princess, thou shalt prepare them. There should be space within the inner ring. If they do not meet Our standards, thou will be whipped. Are We understood?”
The guard nodded, though to his credit he looked sadder to have let her down than he did afraid. Luna set him down.
“Away with thee. Begin immediately.”
He bowed, then left, keeping to a walk until the tent flap closed behind him. He started sprinting as soon as he was out of sight.
Luna lay down on some cushions, facing me. “We apologise for the hastiness of Our guards, but we cannot fault them for their dedication. We will have word of your arrival spread. But until thy accommodations are prepared, thou will tell us of thyself.”
“What do you want to know?”
“What is thy name?”
“Spy.”
She frowned. “Not thy alias. Thy name.”
“Telling you that would defeat the point of giving you an alias.” Also, I can’t remember.
“Very well. Where do you hail from?”
“I’ve travelled far enough I don’t hail from anywhere you would recognise.” I certainly think so, anyway. I don’t seem to be on Earth, though I could be drugged. Or it could be aliens.
Her frown deepened. “Take off thy mask.”
“No.”
“Why? Art thou deformed?”
“Yes.” I wasn’t. I just didn’t feel taking it off.
“Do not lie to me, Spy. We bear Honesty. Falsehoods are as beacons to Us.”
“I’m still not taking it off.”
She snorted. “Very well. You have earned a small measure of Our trust. Is there anything thou are willing to tell Us?”
“Not that you don’t already know.”
She sighed. “Very well. Do you have any questions for Us? You are clearly not from Equestria, and you should know those you serve.”
Equestria must be the country she ruled. “Where are the king and queen?”
“Next question.” Her voice was flat, with no emotion. Next question, indeed.
“You mentioned you ‘bear honesty’. Care to explain?”
“‘Tis simple enough. As rulers of the realm, we each bear three of the Elements of Harmony.” The laughter in my head cut off suddenly. It started muttering. “Our sister has Kindness, Laughter and Generosity. We have Magic, Honesty and Loyalty.”
I grunted. Good to know, I guess. “That’s all I want to know, for now. How long until my quarters are ready?” Tip for fitting in, use the words they use. They use slang, you use slang. They don’t swear, you don’t swear.
“I do not know. When the guard returns, We will have him lead thee there.” She moved over to a map laying on a table, covered in small wooden figures in the shapes of ponies and tents. She looked over it for a second, before glancing over at me. “What did you see of Our sister’s camp?”
I wandered over to the table. “Not much.” I moved the white wooden tent a little to the side. “It’s closer to there, and it’s a little bigger than yours, I think.”
“Indeed it is. Our subjects have always loved her more. Those loyal and honest, however, follow Us.”
Glancing down at the map, I asked, “What’s stopping you from taking the camp personally? While you sister is away, I mean?”
“We do not wish to kill Our subjects anymore than We wished to kill Our sister. It is a sad necessity. She just refuses to see reason.”
I gestured for her to continue. “What reason is this?”
“Ponies have grown soft. They fear the night and what lurks in the shadows, not driving them out as they once did. They fear to set hoof in the forest, fear to set hoof out of doors without the sun in the sky. So We refused to lower Our Moon, forcing them to confront their fears. Our sister felt Our methods overly harsh, but We would not relent. Ponies must be made strong to survive, else the world will eat them alive.”
‘Refused to lower the Moon’. I’ve seen, heard and done some odd things, but that just cinches it. I’m not insane, or drugged, or kidnapped by aliens. I’m in a different god-damned universe where magical talking ponies move celestial bodies on a fucking whim. Okay, I can work with that. I can use this. I’m certainly not going to die in a universe populated by magical talking ponies.
I do, however, need a bloody drink.
Is it really murder if you’re in a different universe?
I made my way back to the throne room, ignoring any bows or salutes I got from servants or guards, but noting where they were on my mental map of the castle. When I reached the throne room, I found it empty. Frowning, I turned to a guard and said, in my most arrogant voice, “Where is my sister?”
The guard saluted before replying. “Princess Celestia is currently speaking with the Elements. I can have somepony lead you to them, if you wish.”
I nodded, and he turned to a guard, and gave her her orders. This other guard saluted, then started walking, holding open the door for me. I followed her, taking the opportunity to watch the way she walked, how modern ponies held themselves, how they spoke. Most conversations died as I came near, but they started up again not long after I passed.
Eventually, the pony I was following stopped outside a door like every other one we’d passed. I gave her a small nod. “Return to your post.” She saluted and left. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and went inside.
There were seven ponies inside. There was her, sitting at the head of the table, smiling at me like she actually cared, making me want to strangle her with her own intestines. The other six were nothing special. Two of each type, in enough colours to make want to shield my eyes. One of them was neon pink, another had a rainbow mane. Not the first one of those I’d seen, though I’ve only been around for a few years.
Celestia, the bitch, motioned to a place next to her, and I reluctantly took it, doing my best to look like I wasn’t planning on murdering her a thousand different ways. “Good, you’re here. We can begin now.” I just nodded, not wanting to speak to her more than necessary. The whispering started up almost immediately. Celestia turned to the normal ponies - all mares, I noticed - and addressed them. I took a good look at each of them as she spoke.
“Now, I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve summoned you.” A chorus of nods. Six ponies, six elements, one for each. One of the unicorns was magic. I was putting my money on the all-purple one, purple’s just more magicky than white. The others, though, were basically impossible to tell by looking.
“To be blunt, we have a crisis.” Oh, I was a crisis? Cool. Should really be a catastrophe, though. The earth ponies and the blue pegasus all had some muscle, avoid them in a fight. The other pegasus was trying to hide behind her hair, try not to underestimate her. The Elements wouldn’t choose someone that was too scared to wield them. The ponies expressions all differed after that bitches words. The purple unicorn and the orange earth pony with the hat - note: take that hat - frowned, but didn’t seem afraid. The scared pegasus let out a frankly disgusting squeak and tried to fit more of her face behind her mane. The white unicorn looked afraid for a few seconds before she got it under control. The blue pegasus just grinned.
Purple broke the silence. “What kind of crisis?”
Celestia gave her a smile, and Purple grinned and failed to hide it. But then Celestia stopped smiling and got down to business. “An old evil from the reign of Nightmare Moon has broken free of his prison, and I believe it will go after you to ensure the Elements cannot be wielded against him.”
Blue snorted. “C’mon, what’s the worst this thing could do to us? I doubt anything could be worse than Nightmare Moon.” She glanced my way and added a belated, “no offense.” I waved it away. Arrogant, that one.
Celestia answered, her tone gently reprimanding, her smile condescending enough to kill a man at forty paces. “He could kill you.” That got their attention. They hadn’t been expecting that. Was the Everfree forest not a thing anymore? Did death stop while I was away? Celestia continued. “This creature, whom I know only as Spy, is an assassin and a spy of the highest caliber. He is bipedal, as tall as I am, not counting my horn, and wears a red suit that would not be out of place at the Gala. Despite this, he can sneak across a battlefield, into the commander's tent disguised as a pony, and would not hesitate to strike while their back is turned. I do not exaggerate when I say he could be almost anypony. He is capable of true invisibility,” she added, directing that towards the unicorns. Both their mouths dropped open. “And that is without magic; he can vanish even within a null field.” They were boggling now.
Purple spoke again. She seemed to be the leader, or at least the face of the group. “Princess, I don’t know how much help we’ll be against whatever this Spy is.”
“The Elements, Twilight. I’m not exactly sure what they will do to him, but anything they can not take care of themselves, they generally remove until somepony else can.” So, Purple was Twilight, the one Celestia mentioned before. One name down, five to go. “To that end,” Celestia said, her horn glowing slightly, a box flashing into existence a foot above the table. The whispering voice fell silent for a moment, then began muttering. It didn’t urge me to kill Celestia, only to leave. When the box opened, it fell silent.
“Your Elements,” Celestia said, floating a gaudy golden necklace to each of the ponies. Except Twilight, who got a tiara. It was still gaudy, though. They put them on. Celestia looked at me. “Is there anything you wish to add, sister.” I wonder what would happen if I choked someone to death with an Element? Probably nothing, but it would be worth a try.
I cleared my throat before speaking, trying to remember how Luna spoke. “Yes. You should remain together, as a group, or at least in pairs, unless with myself or my sister. You will be given a set of rooms to stay in, and it would be best if you stayed in them as much as possible.”
Blue huffed at that. “Can’t we just go to Cloudsdale or something? I mean, he can’t walk on clouds, can he?”
Celestia looked at me. Luna, looked at Luna. I honestly had no idea. I’d never had need to try. Probably not though. I shook my head slightly. “We do not know that he has ever tried. But we must remain here, to run the country, and if you are out of reach he would just come after us, so it is best if you stay nearby.”
“Aren’t alicorns like, super powerful or something? Could he really do anything to you.”
Celestia nodded, wings twitching.
“Tell them, sister.” She glanced at me, and I was pleased to see she didn’t look happy about that. “They have a right to know what they are up against.”
Celestia sighed. “Over the course of the two years during which Spy worked for Nightmare Moon, he killed over four hundred ponies, that I know of, and is suspected to have killed many more. He also killed me one hundred and ninety eight times.”
Not grinning at that was difficult. Very difficult. Nothing like being told how amazing you are.
Of course, the ponies had different reactions. They gasped, but then, when they actually realised what had been said, they frowned.
Orange spoke up this time, adjusting her hat. “Eh, no disrespect meant, Princess, but did you say he killed you? As in, you were dead?”
Celestia started to nod, and then stopped. “Alicorns do not die very easily. However, we can be rendered discorporate, without a body, though that is still difficult. When I say the Spy killed me, I meant he delivered a blow that would have killed me, had I not been an Alicorn.”
“H, how did he do it?” Yellow asked. I’m honestly surprised I heard her, she was so quiet.
“From reports I received from witnesses, he uses a knife and kills with a single blow to the back. Have you anything to add, Luna?”
I nodded, thinking. What is the most amazing thing Luna has seen me do? It didn’t take long. “Are you familiar with Ursas, Major or Minor?” The six of them nodded, grim expressions looking incredibly out of place on their colourful faces. “An Ursa Major had wandered near the Nightmare’s camp during the war. Spy had himself teleported onto its back. He killed it with a single blow.” Even Celestia’s mouth dropped. Just wait, bitch, it gets better. “He leapt from the beasts back, landing unharmed only to have the Ursa collapse on him. He appeared a few seconds later, seemingly unharmed.” I didn’t get hit by it, of course. I was checking the time on my pocketwatch when the thing clipped me, sending me flying into a tree. Thankfully, the Ringer still worked, and I wasn’t reduced to a bloody pulp. I wasn’t expecting the thing to go all ‘timber’ on me.
As for why I was checking the time, eternal night makes it hard to tell when breakfast is, and my watches are much better than the bells ponies used to keep time.
[One thousand and two years ago]
Luna was an ungrateful bitch. Apparently, killing a nigh-immortal goddess of the sun regularly is not enough to get room and board until I had to do it again. No, of course not. I had to go and sabotage the enemy camp some more.
Which is why I was currently disguised as a normal pony, one without wings or a horn, and ambling around the enemy camp. I made sure to keep a small smile on my face even as I went about wrecking things. It was surprisingly easy to get into places with a smile and a wink, and when that didn’t work I would just act like I suddenly had to be somewhere else. Either these ponies are really trusting, or I’m really good at this. Probably both.
Still, it shouldn’t be this easy. I guess they were still hadn’t gotten used to Celestia not being here? Well, they had better get used to it soon.
I didn’t do anything big, or explosive. I just went around making ponies days a little worse. Messed with the food being cooked, adding salt to everything - why salt was locked up, I don’t know, but it was. Had to pick two locks to find it. I wasn’t looking for salt, it was just a happy find, but I couldn’t let those door stay locked, now could I?
Anyway, sabotage is fun. Messed with the food, changed names around on schedules, stole a myriad of small items and planted them on other ponies. Everything was going fine until the alarm went up.
“Incoming pegasi!”
Well, time for me to skedaddle. I turned away from the centre of the camp and started walking, only to be stopped by a frankly massive red normal pony with a very nice cowboy hat. Looked brand new, to.
“Where d’you think you’re going?” he asked - the voice was too deep to be female.
“I need to find somepony,” I said, definitely not nervously. Kinda racist, the word ‘somepony’ considering there are non-ponies in both armies. Celestia has eage-ponies, and Luna has bat-ponies, and there are some gryphons in both groups as well.
“It c’n wait ‘till after th’ attack.”
The alarm stopped.
“Enemy pegasi are retreating! Repeat: enemy pegasi are retreating!”
The red stallion glanced around. “Well, I’ll be. C’mon, I’ll help ya find this pony yer lookin’ for.”
Shit. I wasn’t looking for anyone. He turned his back on me. I glanced around. Noone was looking, and even if they were, I don’t think they would see anything. I felt a knife fall into my hand. I wasn’t sure where they went when I wasn’t using them, and I really didn’t want to know. When they appeared, they were always cold, much colder than they should be, and they smelled of mold and decay and blood. The smell of blood seemed to follow me around, now I think of it. Noone else seemed to notice it.
The pony turned to me. “You alright? Wan’ me t’ get a medic?”
I let the knife vanish. Giving him a small smile, I said, “I’m fine. I can find who I’m looking for myself, I’m sure you have work to do.”
“Ye ain’t wrong there. With the Princess gone, everypony’s runnin’ around like chicken that’ve seen a fox, tryin’ t’ find out what happened.”
A bell rang out, this one signalling food instead of an attack. I was dragged along by the crowd that suddenly appeared and made its way towards the mess tents. I went along with it, it’d be too odd to leave now. I could slip away from everyone later, claiming to need to use the john, and just never come back. And free food was free food. Also; beer rations. Possibly the two best words I’ve ever heard, even if the beer was shit.
The meal started out passable, for vegetarian fare, but slowly got… crazy. Even though everyone got maybe one or two mugs of beer max, they seemed to get really drunk as they ate. The only thing I noticed about the food was that it was really salty. With the way salt was locked up, it’s almost like it was a drug or something.
The rest of the meeting went quickly. I spoke maybe half a dozen more times total, too busy sizing them up. I’m pretty sure I managed to match the Element to the pony. Orange was Honesty, Blue was Loyalty, Pink was Laughter, Twilight was Magic, and if Yellow wasn’t Kindness I’d eat my hat, which meant White was Generosity.
Twilight seemed to be Celestia’s favourite of the group, and while that alone would be enough to condemn her, I’m pretty sure I could just give her my gun and she’d blow her own head off out of sheer intelligent stupidity. Not as much fun, to be sure, but an entertaining thought in its own way. She had this need to know everything, asking a dozen questions and she kept trying to take notes of what was supposed to be a top secret meeting. How she survived childhood, I’ll never know. I know I probably would have helped beat the shit out of her if she grew up near me, and I wasn’t that much more terrible than the average kid.
Pink wasn’t much better. At first I though she was tapping a hoof or something, but nope, she was vibrating. No wonder she always had a smile. She was as airheaded as a hot air balloon, daydreaming constantly, never paying attention. And she kept twitching, all over. And she made Twilight write down what body parts twitched. Like, she had Twilight write down, and I quote, ‘left ear double flop, twitchy tail, gummy eye,’ a good half dozen times.
Yellow spoke less than I did, looking like she wanted to turn invisible, only looking anything less than afraid for her life when a pair of birds landed on the window ledge, when she kept glancing at them with a small smile. She squeaked as soon as someone spoke when she wasn’t paying attention, blushing a horrible pink.
Orange actually seemed halfway competent. She was the only one with any decent headwear, but other than that I don’t know why I thought so. She didn’t say anything intelligent, but whenever she said anything, I got an itch to stab her in the back and laugh maniacally.
Blue acted confidant, but I bet she’d have performance issues. She was all bluster and arrogance, claiming she could take me easily. Still, Celestia appeared to give her some small amount of respect, so I shouldn’t underestimate her too much. Celestia isn’t a complete idiot. She’s fifty percent idiot. Sixty max.
As for White, I wasn’t sure. She didn’t do much other than let Yellow lean against her and make an occasional surprised noise. Didn’t say much, thankfully, considering her accent made me want to shove a knife in her eye and wiggle it around until it stopped being fun.
Anyway, the meeting was over, and it was as we about to leave I realised something. The Element bearers, the normal ponies, they think they can win, that they can beat me. They’re confidant, heads held high. They think their precious Princesses will save them. Can’t be having that.
I looked at Celestia. I couldn’t pretend to tolerate her much longer. Sooner or later, she was going to open her stupid mouth and I’d stab her out of principle. “Sister, you take the lead. I shall bring up the rear.” She smiled at me.
“Yes, that is a good idea Luna. Stay between the two of us, my little ponies.”
I hate that phrase. Luna used it as well, before Celestia got to her, changed her mind, made her weak.
Twilight spoke as we were about to leave. “Princess, maybe Fluttershy should go talk to the animals in the garden, see if they’ve seen anything?” Yellow looked around at that, looking caught between relief and fear. Her normal expression, really.
Celestia frowned, started worrying at her bottom lip. She stopped it quickly. Couldn’t let her little ponies see she wasn’t perfect. I spoke before she could shoot the idea down. It was perfect, really.
“I shall escort her. Together, we can find any nocturnal creatures, to help watch when night falls.” Fluttershy - were her parents psychic? - didn’t look too happy about being alone with Luna, but I couldn’t care less.
Celestia frowned, but didn’t argue. “Very well. But be quick.”
I nodded. “Come, Kindness. Stay by my side.” We left before the others, heading towards a garden. It was quiet, at first, but she must have grown a spine at some point, because she came out from behind her hair long enough to speak.
“Why did you call me ‘Kindness’, your Majesty?” she murmured.
“Because that is what you are. I am a Princess, you are Kindness. Being a Bearer outranks all other titles you could hold.” I didn’t try and sound warm, or friendly. There was no more conversation.
We got to a garden pretty quickly. She led the way, thankfully. I didn’t know my way around yet. And, turns out, she really could talk to animals. I’ll be damned. Her mark was a trio of butterflies, but that could mean pretty much anything.
I stood behind her, looking around as she talked to a pair of fluffy bunnies. When I was sure she was distracted, I moved closer. She never saw the knife coming.
[Celestia’s PoV]
Princess Celestia, Diarch of Equestria, Lady of Morning Glory, the Sunmover, Lightbringer, the Morningstar, She Who Brings the Dawn, was nervous. Her sister had left with Fluttershy almost an hour ago, and they had been missing ever since.
She almost jumped at the knock on the door. The other Element Bearers, Twilight and her friends, all glanced at the door. Rainbow Dash moved towards it, but stopped, looking at her for guidance. Celestia waved them back, then walked over and opened the door. Outside was a guard she didn’t recognise, but they had had a wave of new recruits, and the armour was enchanted to make them almost identical. Still, the vibe the recruit gave her was odd, but she pushed it away. Nerves, she told herself.
“Yes,” she said, glancing at the insignia on his shoulder, “Private?”
The recruit bowed his head. “You’re needed in the throne room, your Highness.”
“What for?”
The Private licked his lips. He was as nervous as she was, Celestia realised. And hiding it better, at that. His mouth was dry, eyes wide, tail twitching rapidly. Something had spooked him.
He glanced behind her, at the Elements. “I, I don’t have the words, your Highness. I was just told to come get you.” He glanced behind her again. “I don’t know if they should see this.”
“See what, my little pony?”
He swallowed noisily, and seemed to swallow some of his fear. “The intruder, the Spy, has left a message for you. In the throne room.”
Celestia doubted anyone there noticed the effect that message had on her. The slight twitch of her wings, the tiniest droop of her shoulders, a dozen other little things that showed her nerves. And yes, her fear. Spy had managed to best her three times out of five, and despite a millenia spent searching, she still had no idea who he was, never mind what, or how he managed the things he did.
She took a deep breath, steadying herself. Looking over her shoulder, she saw the Elements looking at her.
“We go to the throne room.” They all stood. She could see they were nervous as well, but behind the nervous she could see what helped them stay strong. They all knew, not merely believed, or thought, but knew, in the deepest parts of their souls, that she would protect them, save them, keep them safe.
She looked down at the Private. How old was he? Twenty? Eighteen? Barely old enough to be out of his mother's sight. None of them were. Which made it a good thing she was there to take care of them, did it not?
“I shall take point,” she said. The Private seemed surprised. Did he expect her not to know any military terms? Or perhaps he was just surprised by how sharply she said it. It mattered not.
“I’ll take the rear,” he replied, stepping to one side to let her pass. She nodded, and started walking. It took her a second to remember to slow down enough for the others to keep up.
The walk to the throne room was a short but tense one. She regretted not pressing the Private to say what had happened more. But such was the power of hindsight.
She regretted it a thousand times more the moment she opened the throne room doors.
Fluttershy lay across both thrones. Her face was peaceful, a small smile on her face even in death. A knife lay next to her, the blade red and still dripping.
She tried to stop them from seeing it, she truly did, but it was too little, too late. She was not sure which one threw up first, but soon they all were. Celestia stepped into the throne room, almost gagging as the smell of blood and offal hit her. She heard tears and more vomiting behind her, five voices crying out in pain and grief. She glanced around the throne room, looking for her guards and finding none. What had happened to them? And where was Luna?
She turned around. Five voices. The Elements were there, with the Guard that came to fetch her looking ill, but solid. She gave him a small nod, glancing at the bearers. He nodded back, and moved between them and the doorway, his back to the crying ponies.
There was something on Luna’s throne, she realised. Walking over, taking care to go around Fluttershy, she lifted it up. It was a letter. On her sister’s stationary, and addressed to her.
She lifted it to eye level and inspected it carefully. Spy had laced a letter with some vile white dust conjured from who knows where, that had made her deathly ill and killed dozens of ponies before her medics figured out the spell to stop it. When she was sure it was free of traps or tricks, she opened it and emptied the contents onto the throne.
It was a picture, of the Element bearers. In it, Fluttershy’s face was crossed out and the others had question marks over their faces. She turned it over, looking for more information. There was nothing.
A sound like thunder echoed throughout the throne room. She knew the sound well. It had featured prominently in her nightmares during the war. The screaming grew louder. Turning around, Celestia could not help but think that, at least she would finally no longer have Tirek in her nightmares. The scene before her easily replaced that.
The first thing she noticed was the surprised look on Twilight’s face. Not pain, or fear, but surprise. Her friends cries paused, too shocked to continue, as Twilight slumped forward, her coat turning red from the hole in her back. He stood behind her, and even as Celestia gathered her power to smite him, reduce him to ash, he tipped his hat - her sisters crown - and vanished.
The picture fell, burning, from Celestia’s telekinesis. She was going to kill Spy, but first she had to find him. And who better to find a Spy, than a spy?
As she ushered the remaining bearers from the throne room with soft wings and softer words, she began composing a letter to the Changeling Queen.
Celestia was nervous, an emotion she had felt only two other times in the past three millennia; when she and her sister confronted Discord, and when she banished her sister to the moon. For Spy to make her nervous enough to pace was a testament to how damned difficult he was to find. It was only made worse by the fact that she was coming here today. Celestia knew slightly more about changelings than she did Spy, which honestly did not mean much, but she felt no small amount of certainty that Queen Chrysalis was coming here more out of curiosity than anything. After all, what could make Celestia desperate enough to contact her?
Two dead Elements of Harmony, one her very own student, both of them murdered in her castle, where she had brought them to protect them. And failed, spectacularly.
There was a knock on the door. Celestia blinked, feeling where the sun was in the sky. Right on time.
“Enter.”
The doors to Celestia’s study were opened slowly by two of the four guards standing outside them. Luna’s recommendation. Spy showed reluctance to take on more than three highly trained guards at a time, according to her. Each guard stood in a corner of the room, keeping all other guards in sight. They had, after a briefing on the history and abilities of Spy, decided against heavy armour, feeling mobility would be more useful. Still, the armour they did wear was professional looking, if not the sort most ponies would think the Guard would use. It was solid black, with no insignias or names anywhere on it.
Chrysalis breezed past the Guards without a second glancing, sauntering into Celestia’s study like she owned the place. The Changeling Queen stopped slightly out of hoof’s reach from Celestia’s desk. She gave Celestia a long look.
“You look terrible.”
Celestia resisted the urge to sigh, because she knew Chrysalis was correct. Even immortals such as her required rest, it was a necessary function required to maintain a physical body, much like eating and all that entailed. And she also knew Chrysalis was trying to provoke her. Instead, Celestia said, “I have a problem, and I believe you can help me with it.”
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “Yes, you said as much in your letter.”
Celestia continued as if Chrysalis had not spoken. “I am prepared to offer you almost anything for your help.” Chrysalis made to speak, but Celestia talked over her. “Terms for your assistance will be discussed after you have heard the problem.”
Chrysalis closed her mouth, nodding.
Celestia pushed a folder - with her hoof - towards Chrysalis. It was not very thick. “This folder contains all known information on a being known as Spy. This Spy is the problem I require your assistance with.”
Chrysalis slowly opened the folder with magic. “What, is he not accepting invites to your tea parties?”
Celestia took a deep breath. Finding it inadequate, she took another. “Spy assisted my sister in her rebellion. He infected her with Nightmare Moon.”
Chrysalis glanced up at Celestia, a split second of surprise showing on her face before she went back to the folder. She read through the entire thing, a not very difficult task, before speaking again. “This cannot be all the information you have on this creature, Celestia. It doesn’t even list his species!”
“Spy is the only known member of his species I have found in a thousand years of searching.”
Chrysalis looked at Celestia for a long moment before speaking. “Let me see if I understand you correctly. You want my assistance in finding this Spy. He is capable of non-magical invisibility, can render you discorporeal with a single blow, can assume the identity of almost anything, has murdered two of your Elements in your own home, along with love knows how many other ponies, and has been evading capture for, what, a week now?”
Celestia nodded. “You seem to understand the situation, yes.”
Chrysalis let out a sigh. “Why should I attract this Spy’s ire, Celestia? What could you possibly offer me to risk taking on something you and your sister, in all your power, cannot?”
Celestia knew, had learned the hard way, that in a negotiation where you are the buyer, you never start as high as you are willing to go. Always start lower, just as the other side will start higher than the really want. But she did not have time for the rounds of negotiations, for offers and counteroffers, for the months of hammering out small details. So she was going to offer Chrysalis exactly what she wanted. “Integration.”
Chrysalis blinked twice, slowly. “Explain.” The Changeling Queen’s voice had taken on a faint buzz, Celestia noticed. Almost an echo.
“I mean exactly what I say, Chrysalis. Assist me in this one matter, and I will let your Changelings into Equestrian society. They can walk openly. You said in a proposal you made, decades ago now, that you could survive on the love in the air if only you’re subjects could move openly. Well, this is your chance.”
“That may no longer be possible,” Chrysalis said. “Our numbers have grown a great deal even with the limited food.”
“Our numbers have grown even more,” Celestia reminded her. “I need your answer today. Now.”
Chrysalis looked shocked at that. “You are truly desperate, aren’t you? A drowning pony, desperate for anything that might keep them afloat.”
“I have been made desperate.”
Chrysalis thought for only a second before speaking. “You have a deal.”
For the first time in just over week, Celestia smiled.
[Spy]
The amount of guards in the castle might have been intimidating to a lesser man, but for me getting passed them all was child’s play. I probably could have done it without killing any of them, but what’s the fun of that? I’d been hiding for two weeks now, and I was getting bored. Time to make a move.
I had White in my sights. She went walking in the garden a lot the past week, which were only lightly patrolled. She would pause under one tree and watch the birds in it. She cried a lot at first, but thankfully she stopped. Her voice when she talked was enough to make me want to stab her in the ears, when she cried I honestly considered removing her vocal cords. And probably the rest of her throat while I was there.
I crept up behind her, not even disguised - were those ears just for show? I was inches away from her when her nose twitched. She froze. I think she even whimpered. God, she was pathetic.
Something buzzed near me, a fly or something. I ignored it.
“Please,” White pleaded. “Don’t kill me.”
I was on her left, just behind her head. I placed a hand on her shoulder. “Now, why would I go and do that?”
“You don’t have to. You already killed two of the Elements, you don’t need to kill anymore.
The buzzing got louder.
“Ah, mon petite cheval, you assume I do this because of who you are. The truth is,” I said, leaning down to whisper in her ear, “you mean nothing to me.” I stood back up. “Your Princesses are my aim. And, as I cannot kill them, I’ll simply have to make them wish I could.”
The buzzing was getting ridiculously loud now.
White started to turn around, so I flexed my wrist and a knife fell into my hand. A little jerk, and it slipped between two of her vertebrae, severing her spine where it met her brain. I breathed in, waiting for the disguise to take over me.
I frowned. Something was wrong. Normally I was slightly aware of how I looked as a pony. I was faintly aware of the wind moving through the fur, of the tail and how it sat. But I had no fur. I had a horn, I could feel the weight of it on the forehead. But I had wings as well. Four of them, very light ones. I wandered over to a nearby pond and looked into it.
I was a bug.
What. The. Fuck?
I was a bug. My legs looked like cheese - they had holes, not that they were yellow. I was a matte black with blue eyes and translucent wings. I had fangs, and holes in my freaking legs. What possible purpose could that serve? Shit. I should have looked like White. I needed to look like White for the next part of my plan
There was buzzing from right behind me. I turned, and saw more of the bugs, along with pegasi guards, flying right for me. Shit, time to jet. Cloak up and I sprinted away, into the castle. God, I wish I could use these wings. Or the horn. Both would be amazing, but one would be fine.
Then again, it would take away the challenge. I’ve never been a fan of god mode in games.
I managed to lose most of them shortly after entering the castle, but I still had one of the bugs on my tail. No pun intended. The little voice in my head always got a little antsy when I went a few hours without killing anyone, so I dropped my cloak just as the bug following me came around a corner and met it’s eyes. I jumped, like I was surprised, and led it up a set of nearby stairs. Halfway up, I jumped backwards and came down on it’s back, bringing my knife down as I did.
Voice appeased, I cloaked again and snuck off. The buzzing stopped for now, but as I wandered through the castle, I heard it faintly. Whenever I did, I turned away from it. I needed a new plan - or did I? All I had to do was find the real White. Unless she was always a bug. Hmm, problems, problems. I’d never seen the bugs before, and I don’t think I’d heard of them. I needed a new, non buggy disguise, and then information. A passing maid gave me the first, and a guard so helpfully pointed me towards the library I even let him live.
Celestia’s ears flattened against her skull as the Changeling Queen stormed into her study, a bottle of the Apple Family’s Hard Cider floating in her telekinetic grip. As the Queen took a swig, Celestia made a note that Changelings can apparently consume liquid, as well as become intoxicated.
Setting down her quill, Celestia said, “What is the matter, Chrysalis?”
Placing the bottle, now empty, onto Celestia’s desk, Chrysalis stumbled over to the window. The view of Canterlot outside was impressive indeed, tall towers and arching bridges among the many sights to be seen in the grandest city in Equestria. Not the most populous, for that was Manehatten, nor the richest, which was Las Pegasus, but few could deny the splendour of Canterlot.
“Eighteen Changelings died today,” Chrysalis snarled. “Not that you care.” The bottle flew over to the Queen, who sighed when she found it empty.
“On the contrary, every death within my borders pains me deeply. What was the cause?” None of the guards had reported anything beyond ill feelings towards changelings. Surely she would have heard if there was outright violence.
“You know the cause,” Chrysalis replied, the anger in her voice giving way to sadness. “It was him.”
Ah. ‘Him’ could only be the ever elusive Spy. “He killed eighteen of your changelings? In one day?”
Chrysalis nodded jerkily. “He kills a half a dozen of the castle staff per day, and it seems he’s decided to taunt the guards today. Bodies are piling up. It’s only natural he’ll get some changelings. But eighteen in one day is…” the Changeling Queen trailed off into a shudder. “Changelings sense emotions much better than ponies, we know when one of our own dies. The castle stinks of it.”
“Perhaps we should have everyone in the castle move in pairs,” Celestia mused. “It might put some strain on the guards to have every patrol needing double the ponies, but I’m sure they can manage.”
“And what of my changelings?” Chrysalis asked.
“They can either be paired with another changeling, or we can put one of each in a pair.”
Chrysalis nodded. “You know all that will do will give him more to kill. I don’t know how you have gained his ire so, but perhaps you can tell me so I can make sure to never do it.”
[Present]
[Spy]
A quick visit to the library, with only one murder along the way, gave me all the information to be had on the odd bug-pony I backstabbed. Changelings were a race of shapeshifters that fed on ‘love’. While not the oddest thing I’ve ever heard, it was certainly the most girly. Then again, it was a land full of talking ponies. Best to just roll with it.
The thing was that changelings and ponies had been enemies, until recently. A few weeks ago, Celestia invited the Queen here and they worked out a treaty. Changelings get food, and in return Celestia gets help finding me. I’m actually flattered. I’m dangerous enough she actually went to her most hated enemy for help. Not that it was really helping her.
Now, what to do about this Queen bug? Can’t be having people helping Celestia, no, she has to be alone. With how scared the staff in the castle are, it shouldn’t take many more deaths to scare them all out of the castle, though I’m unsure if that is a good thing or not. It gives me less disguises, and guards tend to know each other, making impersonating one almost a challenge. On the other hand, it’ll demoralise the guards, make Celestia guilty she couldn’t protect them, and possibly incite a panic when the public learns why they all quit. What to do, what to do.
Where was I? Yes, bug royalty. Well, she has to go. But it might be an idea to get her away from the Princesses. Or perhaps the other way around?
Oh, I can see it now. Some town burning down, just like during the war. I wonder if I can spell my name in the flames? Only one way to find out. Now, to pick a town. It has to be close, but not too close. Small, but not too small. It’s a good thing libraries have maps, the land has changed too much for my memories to be of any use.
Ponyville looks perfect for this.
[One thousand and two years ago]
[Spy]
I hate the smell of burning pony. It smells too good to be something that can talk. It’s been days since I managed to keep any food down, the smell was just too thick in the air, and I think the hunger was starting to get too me.
Luna had us on the assault. We were a small seven man team. Well, one man and six ponies, but who gives a fuck, right? Let me tell you, ponies don’t know shit about war. They say this one is already a year and a half old, which is the longest one they’ve ever had. I was never much of a history student, but I remember something about a Hundred Year war, which had the ponies almost flabbergasted. One was actually sick when I told them the death tolls for the First and Second World Wars. Seems their country only had a population of a couple hundred thousand before the war.
Anyway, yeah, ponies suck at war. They leave ponies alive behind him, not that those ponies do anything. Until I suggested going against it, they actually used the age old tactic of ‘lets everyone line up facing each other and charge until we can’t’, for crying out loud!
Which led to this seven being team. It was a test run, of sorts. I was nominally in charge, this being my idea. It was getting harder to get to Celestia each time now, so Luna decided to give her sister time to be paranoid and sent me away for a while, making sure her sister found out about it, but not about where I was going.
Still, the line of fire we were leaving behind us was probably a good indicator.
We were pretty deep into Celestia’s territory, supposedly, but we hadn’t seen one of her soldiers in days. As for what we were doing, burning and slaughtering made up the majority of it, though I made sure to look for anything interesting in any fancy houses we found, and the ponies did their share of pillaging as well. Got the rights to three companies, membership in two guilds and a marriage contract to some mid-ranking noble that was apparently good looking for a pony. I wonder if I could sell that?
I’m getting distracted too easily. It’s the hunger. I need to eat, and soon. I keep looking at the ponies and remembering that time I ate horse, god was it amazing. Best meal I’ve ever had, hands down. Perfectly cooked steak is hard to come by, more so when it’s something as looked down on to eat as horse. I had dreams about that steak even before coming here. Not had any since I got here though. Not had to sleep, now that I think about it. I was tired at first, but it’s gone now. I feel like I could sprint a marathon, or at least jog one.
I put the finishing touches to the village we were working on, then started looking for the rest of the team. Hopefully, if you looked at all the fire on a map, it would look like a smiley face. It’s the little things that keep me sane. And I’m definitely sane, the voice in my head says so.
The rest of the team was around an honest to god chest of gold coins. It was full to spilling over. Jackpot for them, I guess, though I was looking to get my hands on some currency - I refuse to call it bits, just straight up refuse - incase the whole assassin thing went sour.
“Split it seven ways,” I suggested, and all the ponies nodded. One of the unicorns, his name was Sparkle or Twinkle, something ridiculous like that, started dividing them into piles.
While he did that, I looked around the town. It was done for, the fields burned and salted, homes destroyed, the well full of bodies. Nothing would live here for a good while.
“This is the last one, ladies and gents. We’re heading back once the coins are divided up.” I got a round of ‘ayes’ and ‘yessirs’, though nothing enthusiastic. Ponies don’t like war, aren’t fans of conflict. They found the way it made me smile… disconcerting. Me, I just wonder how they can't smile with the adrenaline thundering through their veins. You’d have to be crazy not enjoy that.
It was twelve days of walking back to Luna’s camp, though given we had been away for almost a month it was almost more than the unicorns could handle. Pegasi could swap between flying and walking, giving the other muscles a rest, and normal ponies are basically machines.
Luna was surprised to see us back so soon. Before we set out, I’d told her it’d probably take us a while to get back past whatever soldiers Celestia put in our way, but there was nothing. We destroyed some prime farmland, and Celestia did nothing about it. It made me nervous. I said as much to Luna.
“My sister is planning something,” she said. I’m so glad I got her to drop the archaic speech, at least around me. Made her much easier to understand. “She would not leave her lands so unprotected if she were not. But I can think of nothing that would take her attention from this conflict except him.” Her voice was a little hoarse towards the end. She had mentioned a mysterious, dangerous him a couple times already now, but refused to talk about him. Said that speaking his name gave him power.
“Could she be seeking his help?” I asked, stretching out on a row of cushions. We were in Luna’s tent, a giant thing of dark blue and silver. I’m pretty sure there was a lot of gossip about the stranger spending a lot of time alone with the Princess. Truth is, she had the nicest digs and it’s not like she used them. She didn’t sleep as much as she should.
Luna shook her head. “No. She would not dare. She hates him, with a burning passion I could not hope to match. The stars in the sky will die before she releases him voluntarily. She would no more seek his help than I would.”
I opened my mouth to agree with her, but something came over me, and a voice that belonged in nightmares spilled from my lips. “But what if she would?”
Luna froze, eyes widening to ludicrous proportions. “She would not dare,” she whispered. “She would not.” She sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than me. She stood there for about ten minutes, just staring at nothing. Her mouth moved, but no sound came out. Without warning, she spun around to face me, screaming “BE SILENT!”
I held my hands up, open and palms out. “Luna, I haven't spoken in about ten minutes.”
She looked at me like she was seeing me for the first time. “Yes, of course. I merely meant the noises from beyond the tent.”
We both paused, listening to the near silence outside. I think I could hear a bird chirping, but it may have been the slight breeze.
I started moving towards the tent flap. “I think you should take a break, Luna. Relax, take a lazy day. I’ll get out of your mane.” Not waiting for a reply, I slipped out of the tent and got away from the superpowered crazy horse.
I was honestly considering deserting at this point. Fuck, when did I get in deep enough for it to be deserting? I’m not a soldier. At best, I’d just be quitting a job. I didn’t even sign a contract. Either way, I had enough cash and stamina to get me to whatever passed for civilisation in this technology forsaken place, but something kept me here. I’m no history buff, but I’m pretty sure civil wars rarely end well. Having the two leaders be basically immortal can’t help. Right now, I was Luna’s ace in the hole. I could take her sister off the board, letting Luna take the field without worry. I doubt Celestia would be happy with me sitting on a beach somewhere, sunning myself, if she won, especially after the number of times I killed her. Luna wouldn’t be happy with me just up and leaving. Besides, Luna needed me.
Goddammit, I just convinced myself to stay, didn’t I? Fucking Celestia. I’m gonna kill her extra hard next time.
Ponyville burned well. Flames rose towards the sky behind me like a dying man reaching for salvation, and any pegasi flying overhead would see the giant SPY spelled out in red and orange. It was quite the sight from Canterlot. Smoke threatened the sun, which was rapidly retreating beyond the horizon, making way for the night.
Tearing myself away from the best thing I’d seen in years, I moved towards the castle. I’d seen both Luna and Celestia heading that-a-way earlier along with a carriage of some sort, meaning little old Chrysalis was here all by her lonesome. I was on my way to keep her company. What sort of gentleman lets royalty spend the night alone?
Sneaking into Canterlot Castle was no harder than sneaking out had been. It’s like the guards aren’t even trying.
I’m actually kind of surprised both Celestia and Luna went to that backwater village. Sure, it’s pretty close, but it’s still a village. It’s right there in the name, Ponyville. Then again, neither of them have ever been what I would call smart. They had to know it was a distraction, it’s not like the town had anything valuable in it.
I killed a courier and took his message before finding an undisguised changeling and telling it I had a message for the Queen. He looked me over before giving me directions that basically amounted to ‘go down’. And so down I went.
Chrysalis seemed to have taken over the Canterlot dungeons. As I headed deeper and deeper underground, my nerves wound tighter. I had yet to find any way in or out of the dungeons bar the main one, and I was starting to think this was a trap. No way it could be this easy. Celestia can’t be that stupid, and I know Luna isn’t. Or wasn’t before she got the Elements to the face, twice. Who knows what that could have done to her. The voice in my head urged me on, but the voice isn’t much smarter than Celestia sometimes.
The voice did not like that comparison.
The dungeons were clean and well cared for, made from the same bright white stone has the rest of the castle. It was horrible. Dungeons are supposed to be dark and dank and full of rats. Celestia couldn’t even get dungeons right. It’s not even that difficult, just let the place full up with the bodies of those who oppose you, and then sit back. All she had to do was nothing, and she failed.
The one thing she got right about the dungeons, the only thing, was that they were terrible to navigate. I almost got lost in those horribly clean hallways. I would have gotten lost, if not for the stench of mold leading me towards changelings. The area Chrysalis must have commandeered was the only part that looked properly dungeony. It had mold and rats and bones, and she somehow turned the stone a dark grey.
Chrysalis herself looked like a scaled up version of a changeling, nothing special that I could see.
I moved towards her, cloaking as I drew near. She turned at the sound, but saw nothing, of course. I circled ‘round behind her but, instead of sticking a knife in her back, I knocked her crown off.
Magic lashed out directly behind her. Good thing I, y’know, wasn’t there. As big as she was, I doubt I could have reached the crown from behind her. I was on her right.
When her magic splashed against the wall and began dissolving it, I started tutting. “Chrysalis, Chrysalis, Chrysalis. Is that any way to greet someone who only wants to help you?” I asked, my voice echoing strangely from the dungeon’s walls.
She looked around, probably trying to pinpoint my location by sound. “You are Spy, I presume?”
“I see my reputation precedes me,” I said, not even trying to keep the smugness from my voice. I can fit a lot of smug in very few words. It’s one of my many talents.
“Indeed it does,” Chrysalis said. She paused for a moment, then continued. “Your reputation as a murdering lunatic is well known.”
I gave her a bow, though it was mostly for my benefit. Not like she could see it. “I can only try my best.”
“Your best?” she asked, anger flooding her voice. “Your best is twenty four dead changelings!”
“I know. Not very high, I’ll admit. But I only found out changelings existed a few days ago, so it will take me some time to get the numbers up to standard.”
The Changeling Queen was still turning around, trying to find my be voice. Either bugs have really bad hearing, or she wasn’t trying very hard. She was turning slowly in a circle, barely a third of the way around after this long. “Is this a game to you?”
“A game?” I asked. “Of course it’s a game. But it isn’t just a game. Death is my business, my bread and butter, my area of expertise! Death is what I do, Chrysalis, and I’m here to make you an offer you will not refuse.”
She snorted. I guess bugs can snort here, who knew. Is it weird the snorting surprised me, but not the magic or the talking?
“And what in love’s name could you possibly offer me? I already have a place in Equestria for my changelings, assuming you don’t kill them all.”
“You have a place, sure, of course. I guess you won’t mind being beneath ponies and answering to Celestia. And here I thought you weren’t a spineless little bitch.”
“What would have me do? Let my children starve?” Chrysalis asked. I squinted at her. Was her… her horn was glowing. She wasn’t using sound, she was using magic, probably keeping me talking to distract me. Not bad, not bad at all. I kept walking, staying ahead of where she was facing.
“I really don’t care if you all starve or not. You could kill yourself now, and at most I’d be worried about you staining my suit. The only thing keeping me here is Celestia. I need to see her suffer. I want to see her looking out over the ruins of all she held dear. I want to see her shake from tears when she learns all her subjects are dead or enslaved. I want to hear her cry when she learns all her work was for nothing. I want her to beg for a death that cannot come.” Chrysalis was staring straight at me now, horn glowing a deep red.
“You truly hate her, don’t you?” Chrysalis asked.
“This is nothing, a small drop in an ocean of hatred.”
A tongue flicked between her lips. I didn’t know if she was tasting the air like a snake or licking her lips like a mammal. Neither made sense for a bug. “I know where you are. Why should I not kill you were you stand? Why should I not have guards seize you right now?”
I let the cloak drop. She jumped when I appeared in front of her. She had to tilt her head back slightly to look me in the eyes. “Because I can give you the one thing you want more than food for your subjects,” I told her.
She blinked both sets of eyelids at me. “And what is that?”
I gave her a smile that would make a shark jealous. “Victory over Celestia.”
Chrysalis thought for only a moment. “Tell me more.”
[Present]
[Chrysalis]
Chrysalis looked up at Spy. She had read the files Celestia and Luna had given her, and had spoken to Luna about Spy. She had seen what he could do - or rather, she hadn’t, for he rarely left any evidence, only the absence of ponies to mark his passing.
He stood a head above her, thin of body and limb. He paced around the room with a fluid grace, like at any moment he might spring and attack. Metal flashed between his fingers, silver, black, and gold. Two knives and an amazingly small clock. She saw no other weapons on him, and she didn’t know enough about clothing to tell if anything was concealed beneath his outfit. Was that all he had needed to strike fear into an entire city? Into two gods? She saw the way Celestia flinched whenever Spy was mentioned, the way Luna tensed slightly whenever she saw red. She could taste the fear on them, buried deep but not deep enough.
Spy moved to a corner where he couldn’t be seen from outside her chambers and reached into his clothing, pulling from within a thin silver case. He glanced within for a moment before snapping it shut. He looked around the dungeon cell. “What has Luna been up to?”
“I do not know: they do not tell me everything they do. I do not doubt it is to do with you, but I cannot say how.”
Spy just nodded, as if he expected nothing more.
“Now, you will explain how you will help me defeat Celestia.”
Spy started pacing in his corner, scanning around the room. “Celestia needs you right now, or at least thinks she does. For now, you just need to do what she asks. Get the love, or whatever, that you need. Grow in power. When you make your move, I will remove Celestia. You take over, solidify your control before Celestia returns.”
“And when she returns?” Chrysalis asked.
“As long as Celestia draws breath, I will tear down what she tries to build. If she wants Equestria, I can’t let her have it.”
“And what do you ask for in return?”
“At some point in the future, I will ask something of you. I won’t say when or what, but soon.”
“I need more information than that,” Chrysalis protested. “I cannot make a deal with such open ended terms.”
“Deal with it. I’m giving you Equestria. I could ask for more than a favour.”
Chrysalis stilled a growl. “I will need time to decide.”
“You have until tomorrow. You will receive an invitation to breakfast. Go for yes, don’t for no. Understood?”
“Of course.”
Spy nodded. Gold flashed in his hand, and with a noise like a dozen changelings in flight he vanished.
Chrysalis watched where Spy had stood, straining all her senses for any sign of him. He neither heard, nor smelled, nor felt any magic from his passing. But his presence, a feeling of being locked in a small room with an enraged beast, was gone.
[Present]
[Celestia]
Celestia looked over the burned out husks of buildings, the smell of woodsmoke thick in the air. He had burned his name into the village. Fourteen homes, eight stores, three farms and a greenhouse, gone. It was far too similar to his actions during the war, where he had burned and pillaged dozens of towns and villages. He had burned his name into the Equestrian countryside then too. Beside her was Luna, face unreadable, eyes staring into the distance.
Next to her stood Applejack, gazing out over what remained of Sweet Apple Acres. It had been used for the ‘S’. Next to her stood her family, amazingly unharmed beyond some hair loss and second degree burns. The little filly, her name something Apple related, was pressed against her much larger brother.
“Why?”
The two diarches turned to face Applejack. “Do you ask why he targeted your farm?” Luna asked.
Applejack started to shake her head, but stopped. “Well, I guess that is part of it, but why would he do this at all? It doesn’t get him anything, does it?”
“If it is any consolation, I doubt he targeted your farm,” Celestia said. “He would merely have looked for any place large enough and in the right place. He did not go after you and yours.”
Applejack managed a small smile, and swung a foreleg over her brother’s shoulder. “That is good news, I guess. But still doesn’t tell me why he did it.”
“To show he could. To remind us what he was capable of.” Everypony turned to face Luna. Luna pretended not to notice. “This was a favourite tactic of his, before. He would march into a village, burn it to the ground, and fill the soil with salt and the water with the dead. Some of the villages are still uninhabited.”
Celestia coughed, cutting off Luna’s train of thought. She turned to Applejack. “We have done all we can for you. We shall return to Canterlot and leave you to rebuild, but to not hesitate to contact me for building supplies or contractors once you have begun.” After a pause, Luna nodded.
Applejack nodded at the Princesses. “That’s mighty nice of you, Princess. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“We should collect Spike before we leave,” Luna said.
“I agree,” Celestia said. “Farewell, my little ponies.” The little filly and the older mare didn’t even react to her, while the big stallion looked at her and gave her the smallest of nods. She turned towards Books and Branches, with Luna by her side.
As they walked, Luna wove a spell of silence around the two of them, preventing their words from being overheard.
“How goes your research?” Celestia asked.
“Well,” Luna replied, ignoring all the ponies that bowed to them. Celestia smiled and waved. “I believe I have a means of negating his invisibility, or will soon. There is nothing I can do about his knives; if our skin does not stop it then very little will. As for his other weapon, I do not know. It follows the basic principles of the crossbows of Taur’i, but on a scale I doubt exists elsewhere on this world.”
“The invisibility is the most troublesome. We cannot catch what we cannot find.” They walked slowly through the edge of the town, slowed by the sheer number of ponies coming out to see their rulers.
“I still say this was a mistake,” Luna said, as she stared down at a mare coming up to them and bowing. Celestia gave the mare a smile. It was an idea they had had centuries before Luna’s banishment. Luna would act cold towards grown ponies, but they would create a holiday of some sort that would endear her towards foals. Celestia was to be the opposite. Warm to the grown ponies that approached her, but stern with any foals. It had had slightly more failure than it had success. Many grown ponies now feared to approach Celestia, while Luna was feared by almost all ponies and a large portion of the other races as well.
“So you have said. I know this was a distraction. If he had wanted to sow chaos he would have gone farther afield. There is something in Canterlot he wants, and I cannot think what. The elements are… removed from play. He has evaded capture for weeks now. If anything is amiss in Canterlot, either our little ponies or the Changelings will notice and report it to us.”
Luna snorted, walking around a group of stallions getting their picture taken in front of the diarches. “I do not understand how you can trust her after all the things she has done.”
“I don’t trust her,” Celestia corrected. “I would as soon trust him. But I can understand her, and know what she would do. I cannot say the same for him.”
Luna sighed. “Very well.” They paused outside the library. “This will not be easy,” she murmured despite the sound barrier.
“No, it will not,” Celestia agreed. “But it needs to be done.” She pushed open the library door and stepped inside.
As her sister knocked on the door to Books and Branches, Luna glanced through the window. The inside was bright and clean from what she could see. Everything sparkled like it had been freshly polished, even the windows.
A voice, young and weary, came from within. “We’re open.”
Luna saw her sister pause for a moment before making her way inside. She followed and closed the door behind her.
Spike sat behind the main desk of the library, holding a quill, a ledger of some sort in front of him. He dipped the quill in ink and wrote something down. Glancing up at them as they entered, he said, “I wondered when you would show up.”
Luna had little practice at reading dragons, especially those as young as Spike, but even she could see he was tired. There was no single sign she could point to, just a general weariness to his body language. Shoulders slumped, eyelids heavy, movements sluggish, these and half a dozen smaller things all pointed to a lack of sleep. Which, for a young dragon such as Spike, was a very large problem.
Spike sighed, and pointed to a set of stairs behind and to his right. “Twilight’s stuff is up there, second door on the left. Some of the books are library books, so check before you take them.”
Celestia put on the small smile she usually wore as a matter of course. “We are not here for Twilight’s possessions, Spike. I’m here to see you.”
Spike finished writing in the ledger, carefully cleaning the quill before answering. He looked Celestia in the eye and asked, “What do you want?”
Celestia only smiled a little wider, but Luna knew her well enough to know she hadn’t expected the drake’s response. “Only to see how you are doing, and to ask what you plan to do.”
“You’re a bit late, aren’t you?”
Celestia sighed. “I am truly sorry for that, Spike, but until recently matters in Canterlot demanded my attention. So please, tell me how you are doing?”
“I’m fine.”
“I can clearly see you are not fine, young Spike,” Luna said, moving towards the drake. “You wear your weariness well, ‘tis true, but if even I can see it then there is little point in trying to hide it.”
Spike sighed heavily and rubbed the scales beneath his eyes. An odd gesture, for a dragon, Luna felt. No doubt one of the many things he has copied from ponies.
“Look, I’d really like to never see either of you again, so if you aren’t here to go through Twilight’s things, and you aren’t going to check out a book, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” With that said, Spike opened the ledger and inked the quill. He paused before writing to look up at the two princesses. “Are you going to check out a book?”
Luna moved over to her sister and whispered in her ear, “Let me speak to Spike alone, sister. You have other things to attend to.” Celestia frowned, but nodded, both gestures little more than twitches. She nodded more fully to Spike, who did nothing, and then left. The young dragon looked up as the door closed. His eyes narrowed when he saw Luna.
“What is it?”
Princess Luna did not reply immediately. First, she removed her crown and regalia, setting them both aside. Next, she focused on the magic infusing her mane and stilled it. It went from a shimmering inky black filled with stars to a deep blue. Luna took a deep breath before speaking. “What troubles you, Spike? What keeps you awake?”
“What do you think?”
“So it is sadness that keep you awake long into the night? Grief for what you have lost that prevents an easy slumber?”
“Of course it is!” Spike jumped down from his seat and moved over to a nearby set of bookshelves. He pulled books out at random, flicked through them, then set them back. “And let me guess, you’re here to tell me how sorry you are, how terrible it is that Twilight’s gone. Don’t you think I know that? Twilight raised me, you don’t think I know how much worse off everypony is now she’s gone?” Spike slammed the last book into place hard enough to rattle the shelves. “Or maybe you’re going to say how terrible it is we can’t use the Elements to solve all our problems now?”
“No, Spike. I had met with young Miss Sparkle only once or twice since she saved me, and every meeting was brief. The pain I feel for her passing is small compared to yours. I merely wonder what you plan to do now?”
“Somepony has to look after the library,” Spike said, no longer moving through the shelves but still with his back to Luna. “Might as well be me.”
Luna nodded. “Very well. I will tell my sister of your plans, and fill out the paperwork myself. Which brings me to my next point. I know some of what you feel, Spike, but I advise against being overly harsh with my sister. She, too, lost somepony she cared dearly for.”
“Yeah, well, she’s had practice.”
“It does not get easier, Spike. No matter how long you live, or how many you lose, it never gets easier. And my sister and I have lived long, and lost many.”
“I guess thats something I have to look forward to as well.”
“True. You are a dragon, and while not unaging like myself or my sister, you have the capacity for a very long life.” Luna paused, gathering her thoughts before continuing. “Would you accept some advice, young Spike?”
“Are you going to give it to me anyway?” he asked.
“Most likely, yes.”
“Then go ahead.”
“Remember who is responsible for this. Remember who took Twilight Sparkle from this world. Focus on him. Do not lash out in anger at those who care for you. Save it for he who deserves it most.”
“Spy.” Luna was surprised at the amount of hate the drake could fit in such a small word.
“Yes,” Luna said, nodding. “Spy.”
Spike stared down at his feet. “Spy is in Canterlot, right?”
“As far as I am aware, yes.”
Spike lifted his head and squared his shoulders. “I’m going to help find him. I’m coming to Canterlot with you.”
“If you wish, you may, but I think I know of something you should do first” Luna said. Inside, she was smiling. All was going according to plan.
[Present]
[Spy]
Making enemies is much harder than making friends or allies. I can make enemies as easily as I make corpses, but the urge to kill Chrysalis rose every single time I saw her walking away unharmed. It felt wrong, letting her live like that. She refused to tell me what Luna had been up to recently. She knew, I knew she knew, and she knew I knew that she knew, but still she feigned ignorance.
Luna had been AWOL since she left for Ponyville. Celestia had returned a few hours after leaving, with Luna’s guards and a few of the remaining elements, and had acted like nothing was wrong, ignoring any questions about Luna’s location so thoroughly some ponies were probably starting to doubt her existence.
I dealt with my frustration in the best way: making Celestia miserable. All I had done recently was murder some servants and some guards. I needed to aim higher. I’d spotted a guard with blue hair giving orders to pretty much every guard and from what I knew of insignias Celestia used, he was high ranking, either Captain or Lieutenant, most likely the former. I doubted he’d be much trouble. I’d more or less sauntered over all the other guards, and he was supposed to be in charge of training them, so I doubt he was competant.
I followed him as he made his rounds of the castle walls, inspecting guards and listening to reports. When I cared to listen to what was being said, I heard one of the lesser guards say that, ‘they’ll get the bastard that killed his sister.’ I wonder which victim of mine was his sister? It didn’t matter. He’d see her soon enough.
With no warning, he froze, horn flashing. A sphere of pink energy exploded from his horn, almost throwing me from the wall. I slammed against a crenelation and bounced, knife in hand, slashing down. I missed my mark, slashing along his side, quickly bringing my knife up, marking him again.
He put up a bright pink shield and sent a wave of force my way. He was actually trying to kill me! This might even be fun. I used the distance he made between us to draw my gun, aiming for his horn.
It was like shooting bulletproof glass. Each shot made a ripple of brighter pink across the shield and made him grunt from the strain. He couldn’t do anything without letting me break his shield, and I couldn’t bring it down before I had to reload. When I had two shots left, I pulled out my pocketwatch and readied it. As soon as I pulled the trigger and didn’t fire, he dropped the shield and sent another wave of force at me.
It flowed through me, something I never want to feel again, and sent a dummy corpse flying over the wall. He hit it with a fireball as it fell, the dummy bursting into bright pink flames. He was breathing heavily as he moved over to the edge.
I finished reloading and placed my gun against the back of his head. He froze again.
My cloak dropped, static filling the air.
“You know, I’m almost tempted to let you live. That was almost entertaining.”
“You’re a monster,” was all he said.
“I’m sure all prey thinks badly of predators. But because you actually put up a fight, I’m going to do you a favour. I won’t steal your form and slaughter everyone you care about.”
I felt him twitch, eyes wide with shock. He was silent for several seconds.
“Well?” I asked. “What do you say when someone does something nice for you?”
He actually managed to growl! I’m almost sorry he had to die. I was starting to like him. Even in the war, ponies had been reluctant to kill, and he killed me and kept firing. I liked that.
“Of course, that only goes if you tell me how you knew I was there.”
He said nothing.
“Whats wrong? Cat got your tongue? Oh well.”
Before he could speak, before he could react, I lifted my gun slightly and fired. The bullet cracked his horn. He screamed, front legs falling out from under him. I snapped it off, got a feel for it’s weight, and planted it in his spine.
My body filled with electricity. I felt like I could leap tall buildings in a single bound. Like I could clap and shatter stone.
I heard wingbeats in the distance. Turning, I could see them, on the other side of Canterlot. I should not have been able to hear them. I took a step along the wall. The world blurred around me. When it stopped, I was a good ten feet away from where I had been. The lightning in my veins calmed slightly. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling as I looked down at the horn in my hand. I give myself the best gifts.
I take back everything I ever said about ponies as a species being terrible at war. Only most of them are terrible. Luna, for instance, if fucking horrifying.
God, the things she did with those spears. Enough to give anything nightmares.
Celestia had been recently discorporated by myself, leaving Luna free to take the field. I almost regret killing Celestia, after watching Luna go through normal ponies as easily as walking. It was like watching a giant kick the shit out of a group of paraplegic, mentally unfit midgets. Anyone that got within fifteen feet of Luna just dropped dead. Their eyes rolled back into their skull and they hit the dirt, bodies decaying at what had to be at least one thousand times the normal speed. Swarms of insects burst from their corpses, moving with a malevolent intelligence to devour any living ponies nearby, spreading a plague of flesh eating clouds of death at an ever-expanding rate. She removed any opposing unicorns with a ruthless efficiency, most of them being boiled inside their skin, eyeballs exploding from a sudden change in temperature. Those were the lucky ones.
I don’t want to talk about the unlucky ones. Dear god, those spears.
Pegasi got slightly better deaths, ‘better’ here being a relative term. They were certainly more varied. Some were flash-fried, giving off a smell like roast chicken and beef that made my mouth water. Others simply kept going up and never came back down. A few just vanished into portals opening before them, with nothing but a terror inspiring darkness on the other side. One of those had time to scream before the portal closed. I think fighting stopped across the battlefield as everyone turned to the source of the scream.
Earth ponies, the name for non-unicorns or pegasi, she just ignored.
Without Celestia to fight Luna, there wasn’t much the other side could do, and it was a matter of hours before they got routed. Not that Luna’s side stopped attacking when they turned their backs. A route turned into a massacre turned into a slaughter, and you can’t spell slaughter without laughter.
Which is what I was doing. Laughing, that is. Luna hadn’t laughed in weeks. Hadn’t smiled in days. It was a slow thing, like the gentle shifting of glacial ice, the changes subtle and small.
As soon as the battle was over, she retreated back to her tent, muttering to herself all the while. She gave me a look just before disappearing into her tent, a small shake of her head. I’m almost certain I heard her say, “No, he wouldn’t,” under her breath. She stayed there, half inside her tent, for a few seconds, looking my way, repeating that same phrase as if trying to convince someone.
[Present]
[Spy]
I was starting to regret making a deal with Chrysalis, and I think she could tell. Every time we met she tried to finish faster and faster, even going so far as to suggest I meet with one of her subordinates. Then again, this meeting was different. She had asked for this one.
I was waiting in her room for her, standing behind the door when she entered. “You better have a good reason for this,” I told her.
She flinched at my voice, barely stopping herself from whirling around to face me.
“I do,” she said. “Tell me, have you heard of the Summer Sun Celebration?” I shook my head. “Well, every year, in the middle of summer, Celestia has a celebration on the dawn of the longest day of the year. As the first since her sister’s return, this one is to be held here, in Canterlot, as more ponies can visit. It is the single largest gathering of ponies in any one city.”
I was pretty sure I knew where she was going with that, but I stayed silent, letting her do the talking.
Chrysalis didn’t like silence, I think. She only lasted a few seconds before speaking again. “Your plan is to harm Celestia in any way possible, yes? Well, if you kill her there, not only will she no longer be a god in the eyes of her ponies, she will be killed in front of them. They would no longer trust her, no longer worship her as they do now. On top of that, the stampede caused by such an event would no doubt kill several ponies.” She smiled, like she had just found her winning argument. “You killing ponies is one thing, but ponies killing each other will hurt her deeply. You kill Celestia and vanish of in the ensuing panic.”
It was, in all honesty, a pretty good plan. If I were feeling generous, I might even upgrade it to very good. It had everything I liked in a plan; Celestia died, was hurt emotionally, was even discredited, I got away easily, free to sneak off and cause more chaos. It was perfect.
Perfect plans do not happen. There is always, always, something, some little but in there that makes you go, ‘it’s perfect, but.’’ Perfect plans make the world boring. There has to be a chance of failure, one that doesn’t come out of nowhere.
Which meant one of two things. Either Celestia had cottoned on to Chrysalis’ betrayal and was feeding her false information, or Chrysalis was double crossing me.
I smiled, and Chrysalis visibly relaxed, no doubt assuming it was just me approving of the plan. And, in a way, it was. “How long until this Sun Celebration,” I asked.
“A month and a half,” Chrysalis said, after a seconds thought. “Forty five days, or thereabouts.”
I nodded. “I’m going to need you to get me some supplies,” I told Chrysalis. I told her what I needed, and she said she would have them five days before the Celebration. My smile that followed sent her fleeing.
[Present]
[Spike]
Spike ducked under thrown boulder, juked left to avoid a torrent of emerald dragonflame. He slammed into the cavern wall and bounced off it, straight into a sweeping claw. He rolled into a ball as best he could, but the force he hit the other side of the cave with sent pain burning through his body. Sliding down the wall, he unrolled himself just in time to see a massive tail coming his way. Pushing himself off the wall, he almost managed to avoid the attack, the long limb clipping his feet and sending him tumbling into the claws of his opponent.
A massive claw touched his back. Spike sighed into the dirt.
In a voice that threatened to bring the stalactites on the roof crashing down, the gigantic dragon pinning him spoke. “You have improved much, hatchling. Take heart in this, for many will fall before you ere your time ends.”
Spike said nothing as the claw was lifted from his back. He brushed the dust from his scales. Had there been any light in this cave, he would have gleamed like the brightest gems. It seemed that, while a dragon could live off almost anything, some things made for better food than others, and raw magic made the best food of all. A thaumovore, was what Twilight would have called him. Should have been there to call him.
From above, the voice rumbled again. “You know what errors you made, hatchling?” Spike let out a single small burst of fire, the light almost blinding in the blackness of the cave. The dragon teaching him was not able to hear him, she was much too large, her head to far above.
She had no name that Spike knew of. For the past four thousand years, she had simply been the Dragon of the Wastelands. Apart from Spike, she was the only dragon for two thousand miles in any direction. It was likely she had been there longer, but Discords reign left few records and she had spent the four centuries Discord ruled most of the planet sleeping. At some time in her youth, she had painted the night sky on the ceiling of her cavern. Spike didn’t recognise any of the constellations the few times he saw it.
Spike’s contemplation was broken by a sudden burst of light and thunderous sound.
Luna set several magelights to hover around the cavern, giving small islands of red light in the darkness of the cavern. Spike could feel them with a sense that was almost sight and almost smell. They were small, and Luna had cast them well. They would not be worth eating.
“How goes your training?” Luna asked.
Spike shrugged, then realised he was outside the light. He moved towards one, staying at the edge, careful not to look directly at any of them. No point in ruining his darkvision.
“It goes well, I think,” Spike replied. His voice came out rough, his throat sore from lack of use. Odd, how fire flowed with no pain, but air irritated it.
Luna nodded. Spike didn’t have to see her to know that. She was full of magic, standing out like a blazing fire in an ice cold room.
“He will be adequate shortly.” They turned to see the Dragon of the Wasteland staring down at them, her head larger than most houses in Canterlot. It towered above them even when laying on the floor. “By the turning of Sol, he will be ready to return.”
“Turning of Sol?” Luna muttered. “You mean the summer Solstice?”
“When summer becomes winter, he will be ready.
Luna nodded. “I will return then.” Turning to Spike, she added, “You have forty days. Be ready.” She vanished before Spike could reply.
[Present]
[Celestia]
Over the years, Celestia has had to perform a great number of unpleasant duties. Ordering a town struck by an incurable plague to be sealed and burned, the residents still inside, was one, but it had happened once, in the early years of Equestria when a town was anywhere more than eight ponies came together.
One that never got any easier was telling a parent they had outlived their child. That she had to tell the same set of parents that the same monster responsible for the loss of their youngest child had killed the eldest as well was simply terrible, but Twilight Velvet and Nightlight bore the news with a quiet dignity.
“I am so sorry for thi-” Princess Celestia began, but was interrupted by Nightlight. This happened so rarely she was shocked into silence.
“Princess, you have apologised enough,” the unicorn said. “You are not responsible for what that monster has done. And I think I speak for my wife as well as myself when I say that we want revenge.”
“And you shall have it. I am doing everything in my power to ensure the guilty party is caught as quickly as possible.”
Twilight Velvet shook her head. “You misunderstand, Princess.” Her voice was cold and empty. “We want revenge, and I plan on carving it out of the monster that took my children from me. We can do it with your help, or without it.” Beside her, her husband nodded.
Celestia sighed, but nodded. “Very well. My help, you shall have. I warn you, though, that once you start down this path you may not see it’s end.”
“We understand,” they both said.
“Very well. His name is Spy,” Celestia began, “and he fought on the side of Nightmare Moon in the Twilight War.”
The Summer Sun Celebration had to be perfect. Celestia knew that the public needed something to take their minds off the recent… unpleasantness taking place in Canterlot. Reducing ticket costs from all cities to Canterlot, ostensibly to see Luna in her first official appearance, helped ensure as many ponies as possible could be present, but there was much more that needed done, and had to take precedence.
Guard morale had taken a severe hit since the death of Shining Armour, recruitment dropping to the lowest it had been in three hundred years. The nobles had fled the capital en masse, and the common people had noticed. The fear in the city was palpable. Celestia had considered enforcing a curfew for the duration of the unpleasantness, but she hadn’t needed to. Ponies had, by their own volition, began staying inside after nightfall.
She feared for her little ponies. While Spy could, and had, rendered her discorprial with an ease very few others could, she would endure and return no matter how many times it happened. But her little ponies were not so lucky, and Spy had shown nothing even resembling mercy. She wished she could think of him as a monster and nothing more, but he had to have a reason. She had battled her share of monsters in her time, fought evils that would leave a lesser soul in despair, and one and all, they all had their reasons. Tirek felt only the strong should survive, and that it was his duty to ensure this. Sombre felt it was his right to do as he pleased with his kingdom. Luna had felt she was doing the best thing for their subjects. Discord… Discord was Discord, and the less she tried to understand how he thought, the better. The Draconequus had given hundreds if not thousands of reasons for why he was the way he was over the years, and the only one that came up repeatedly was boredom, but Celestia was sure there was more than that. There had to be. Noone could do the things he did out of boredom.
Spy had his reasons, Celestia was sure of it. But finding out what they were was secondary to the safety of her subjects.
Of course, before should do anything to Spy, she had to find him. They had come close once since he reappeared, when he killed the changeling that had taken Rarity’s place. They had had a hundred guards converging on that location within minutes. He had evaded them all, killing one. It was remarkable more hadn’t died, considering what she knew of Spy’s record. That he had managed to evade a full half of the Canterlot Guard while inside the castle was remarkable. His other skills made that seem average. Many things about Luna’s successes during the war became clearer, the more she learned of Spy’s abilities.
The most troubling thing about Spy was his ability to disappear. Not only to escape from her guards, but to evade them, to evade all notice, for more than a month. His last known location was along the Canterlot Wall, where he defeated Shining Armour. Since then, no victims had emerged for six and a half weeks. 44 days with no sign of Spy.
Luna assured her that Spy hadn’t just left. He could, at times, be single-minded to the point of being near suicidal, was what she had said. Odd, that it was reassuring to know such a monster lurked within her city, but better he was within her reach should he make a mistake, than out in the world where she could not capitalise on it.
That was assuming he made mistakes. Luna had been able to think of one, a single mistake from almost two years of hard fighting.
Celestia sighed, looking up from the last remnants of a mountain of paperwork to see the setting sun, framed by the window. Tomorrow would mark the longest day of the year. The height of her power. If there was every a time to pray for Spy to make a mistake, it would be tomorrow, when the first light of the rising sun touched her, filling her with energy, with life.
But whether he made a mistake or not, it would matter little in the long run, which was the view Celestia preferred. It made a great many of the decisions she faced easier.
Behind her, the sun fled under the distant horizon, and she lowered her head, letting out a weary sigh. It felt as if something important, something vital, was missing, now the sun’s light no longer reached her directly. That the moon’s light was merely a reflection of the sun’s, and that the sun was a star the same as those that shone imaginable distances away was irrelevant. Power that touched the moon or came from beyond their little sphere of influence was not her’s to claim. Celestia hoped Spy didn’t make his move now. She had some… reservations about her dear sister’s ability to remove him. From what Luna had told her, the Nightmare appeared in this world the same day Spy did. For two previously unknown entities to appear at the same time was too unlikely to be coincidence. That Luna had been growing more paranoid each day Spy was loose just made her more certain of the connection between the two.
Celestia finished off the last of the paperwork, then let out a small yawn. All power came with a price, and just as she was more powerful as the days grew longer, so was she weaker when the sun’s light no longer fell on her. Weary, she made her way to bed. Something, the centuries of experience perhaps, told her she did not want to be tired tomorrow.
[Present]
[Spy]
As much as I hate Celestia, I have to admit she sure doesn’t do things by half.
The Summer Sun Celebration was one of the largest gatherings of ponies I have ever seen. Tens of thousands of the things, swarming over the central plaza of the gleaming city like a swarm of locusts. The colours were bright and varied enough to make me consider gouging my eyes out with a dull spoon, and from above it looked like a really bad trip. The hot air balloons circling in the sky didn’t help the image.
Sunlight was just coming over the horizon, turning the sky to the east a light blue, tinged with yellow where sky met land. The smallest part of the sun was over the edge, and had been sitting there for around an hour now, waiting the command from Celestia to surge above. I wonder what happened to the place directly under the sun right now?
Celestia appeared in the centre of the plaza in a flash of brilliant white light and a sudden silence.
Even from here, high above, the whispers started. The urge to just drop down, to slaughter my way to the Great White Bitch and gouge out her eyes with her own horn rose, but I fought it down. Patience, I told myself. Soon, I told whatever sickness I had that made me hate Celestia so.
Yes, the sickness whispered back. Soon.
I wanted to time this right. I wanted to make this as devastating as possible.
I made my way down, looking like an average pony, no wings or horn. It took a few minutes to reach the plaza from the rooftop I was on. I managed to push my way to the middle of the plaza.
Celestia flapped her wings once, slowly, almost lazily. The amount of power she held at that moment was palpable. It burned through the air, burning me like I’d tried to swim through the sun. She crouched slightly, lazily, readying herself to leap into the air. The moment these ponies had gathered to see was almost here.
A sound like thunder, from the south. Buildings collapsed, the ruins burning.
Celestia whirled towards them, now facing away from me. The guards all faced that direction, some abandoning their posts.
I made my way towards Celestia. Flexing my wrist, a black knife fell into my hand. Two steps from Celestia, I let my disguise drop. She started to turn when she heard the screams.
She was faster than I remember.
Her wing clipped my shoulder, spinning me around as I brought the dagger down. The knife was in the hand farthest from her. I tried to use the momentum from the push to swing at her, but all punching her got me was a sore hand. She lashed out at me with a hoof I barely managed to dodge before I brought the knife around, slashing a pair of cuts along her left shoulder. She flinched away from it violently, rearing up slightly on her back legs. I followed up with a quick thrust to the ribcage, but the knife only worked it’s magic when plunged into something’s back. I twisted my knife as I pulled it out, giving her a shove at the same time. She let out a scream of pain, twisting as she fell.
Guards finally got here. As soon as one got within an arms length of me, I reached over it’s head and stabbed it in the back. It had been an earth pony, coming up to just below my ribs, so not a small one either.
I soon had ponies on all sides of me, swinging at me with hooves, wings and magic, but I could ignore it it. I could feel the pain, was even taking some of the damage, but I could ignore it, for now. I could heal it up later.
I let go of the black dagger and gave my wrist a quick twist. It vanished before it hit the ground, and in it’s place fell a unicorn’s horn, one end broken and cracked. I brought it down onto an earth ponies back and-
Holy shit.
Another earth pony took the place of the one I killed, and he swung at me with ridiculous force. His hoof hit me in the stomach, and I knew from experience that a blow like that should knock the wind out of me, maybe break a rib or two and puncture a lung. I barely felt it. I kicked out at the earth pony and he lifted a good four feet off the ground, sailing at least half again that in distance. And holy shit did I feel amazing. I felt like I could take a shotgun to the chest, laugh it off and then beat the guy that shot me to death with his shinbones.
This is not what happened when I got the horn. So, if unicorn does one thing, and earth pony another, what does pegasus do? I heard Celestia get to her hooves behind me - that can take a few seconds for something her size, even if it isn’t a dumb animal.
I took a quick look around. This had not gone to plan. Celestia was supposed to be out of the way, I should be cutting through the ponies here like a knife through skin. I was making a small dent with the extra strength I had, but I could feel it leaving me. Each swung was slower, weaker, every blow I dealt softer. I wasn’t going to get killed or captured by some technicoloured farm animals.I had to get out of here, think of a new plan.
Earth ponies gave strength and durability, and thats what they were known for. Pegasi were known for speed, maybe I would get that. It was worth a shot.
I swung wildly, giving me some space, and grabbed at the first pegasi that came near me. It was blue with a rainbow mane that was annoyingly familiar, but I’ll be fucked if I know why. I snagged it by the leg and pulled hard. With my enhanced strength, she dropped out the sky and I plunged the horn into the base of her neck.
I did not get super speed.
The world filled with lines, multicoloured threads, flowing and shimmering, clouding my vision and leading into everything and from everything. I tried to wave them away, and a gale force wind came from nowhere, sending ponies sprawling. It was gone as soon as it started.
I got the pegasi ability to manipulate weather, god dammit.
Behind me Celestia was saying something, but I’ll be damned if I was going to listen. Probably asking me to surrender or some bullshit like that. I whirled around, waving my arm as hard as I could, and was rewarded with wind, stronger than before. Celestia didn’t even stagger, the bitch. Bloody alicorns.
Light gathered on her horn. I spat at her face and the light winked out. Turning around, I swung as hard as I could to clear a path of ponies. I needed something better. I grabbed the threads of whatever it was, weather magic or something, getting as many in each hand as I could and slammed them together. Thunder sounded in the plaza. No lightening, somehow, but thunder all the same. Crazy horse planet. The ponies shrieked, the combined sound louder than the thunder had been. I ran for a side street, trying to cloak as I went.
I made it maybe five feet before a pale golden glow surrounded me and I was slammed face first into the ground. I felt my nose break more than I heard it, the warm blood staining the stones. I went limp, hoping she would think I was out. Celestia didn’t fall for it, ramming me repeatedly into the cobblestones. My jaw broke next, I could feel it come lose, the teeth slipping out my mouth, falling to the ground where I smashed into them. It all happened so fast I was still in shock, not feeling any pain, when I blacked out.
Luna was crazy. She was balls to the walls, wrist slitting, gun in mouth and finger on trigger insane. I know because the Voice in my head told me so.
The Voice, it whispered things to me, things I couldn’t know, things I had no way of knowing.
Go left here, it would say, the words slithering into my mind from nowhere, echoing around my skull until I couldn’t tell where the voice stopped and I began and before I knew what was what I’d gone left, and the target would be right there.
It wasn’t always there. I felt different when it wasn’t around, hollow, like something important was missing, something I couldn’t live without, didn’t want to even try. And when it came back, it didn’t feel like I was getting a fix. The world didn’t become better, it became normal. It went back to the way it should.
Kill this pony, it would say, no longer echoing or slithering but a command from on high. This type lacked the urgency of the first, and could be resisted, though I rarely did so despite no reasons being given, no explanations as to why that pony had to die. I stopped asking after a while. Stopped caring soon after that. The only time the Voice and I were at odds was when it took over. It happened rarely, but even that was too often. My face went numb, my limbs heavy, and my mouth moved by itself, some other voice slipping out. But I dealt with it. The Voice told me what to do to stay alive. It was calm when I was scared. It was confident when I was nervous. The only time anything resembling emotion entered the voice was when I saw Celestia.
So, when Luna made the Voice nervous, I knew something bad was going on.
I was scared of the way Luna had been acting recently, but the Voice was, well, a voice in my head. It hadn’t always been there, I could sort of remember a time when it wasn’t, but if it could jump to my head, it could jump to others. It couldn’t be killed, or hurt, or only inconvenience.
And Luna scared it.
I knew, talking to some ponies in Luna’s army, that she hadn’t been like this, ever before. That while she sometimes got a little jealous of her sister, it had never been this bad. There were foul spirits about, they claimed. Evil magic was being worked on their fair princess, turning Luna from a benevolent ruler who felt normal ponies shouldn’t be ruled by immortals into a tyrant who claimed control over everything, mare or beast.
I decided to have a chat with her, see if I could help. Need to ensure my role in the new world order, after all.
I greeted her as I always did, as I had for the past year or so; by name. “Luna,” I said, nodding.
Her response was a sign of just how much she had changed. She glared down her nose at me, and spoke in a voice as cold as space and as distant as the moon. “We are no longer to be referred to as Luna, Spy. Henceforth, thou shalt refer to Us by Our title of Queen Luna, for Queen of the world We shall be as soon as Our sister falls.”
I shrugged and went with it. She had all the cards, what with her being a quasi-immortal goddess of the night. That didn’t seem to make her any happier.
“Have thee no spine?” she asked, stomping a hoof. The ground shook like a small earthquake had struck, shattering anything in the tent that was made of glass and sending everything tumbling to the ground except me and Luna. “Thou have served Us for a year, and served well. Thou should make a claim on Our name, thou had earned it.” When I opened my mouth, she lifted a hoof. “Had. Seeing as you are as spineless as your name implies, that privilege is now lost to thee. Perhaps if thou serves Us well in the future, thou may again earn the right to address Us without title.”
She paused, as if asking me to speak. Now, if there is one thing I hated above all others, it was someone claiming to own me.
“Listen here, Luna,” I said, taking a step towards her. “I. Am not. A servant. You do not own me. Now get your head out of your ass and tell me what has you acting so crazy.”
I expected her to be offended, outraged even. I expected to be banished, to be arrested or maybe just told to leave. I did not expect her to swing for me.
Her hoof came up too fast for me to dodge and slammed into the side of my head. As I fell, I heard Luna say, “Perhaps this will teach you your place,” before everything went black.
The blackness surrounded me, washing over me like the tide, relentless and inevitable. In that ocean of darkness I found the Voice.
I have no words for what happened next. The closest thing I can sue to describe it is the moment of clarity addicts have just before they get clean.The Voice was there, and I knew nothing would ever be the same.
Pain burned through me. My head filled with fire and ice and pain, a torrent of unimaginable size that quickly flooded the rest of my being. Everything was pain, and pain was everything and the Voice spoke, the sound flowing over me like a cool summer breeze, and the pain faded. I felt a thumping, steady and rhythmic. One-two, three-four. One-two, three-four. One-two, three-four. One-two, three-four.
My eyes flew open, stayed open even as the light of a thousand suns burned them to a cinder. I gasped for breath, and the air that filled my lungs was heavy, almost too heavy to breathe. I felt heavy and unwieldy. I felt warm and cold at the same time.
But above all, I felt alive.
[Present Day]
[Celestia]
Celestia heard her sister land next to her, her silver-shod hooves making a distinct sound against the cobblestone street. Far above her, she felt the beginnings of storm, magic swirling almost chaotically to produce wind and rain, thunder and lightening.
She looked at the corpse of Spy. She should be happy, or at least relieved, that Spy was no longer able to haunt her every waking moment. His brains spilled against the street should ensure that.
Celestia turned to face Luna as her sister came to stand beside her. “It’s done,” Celestia said, trying for a small smile.
Luna shook her head. “No. Spy yet lives, sister. I once dealt him a similar blow, and he returned.”
Celestia frowned. That should not be possible. She and her sister were only able to return because they were more than merely physical and for all the Spy was capable of, he wasn’t that powerful.
“I speak true, sister,” Luna said, her voice quiet. “It was no trick or magic. I struck him over the head full force with my hoof, and he fell to the ground as dead as he is now. Despite no longer being myself, I had him buried as befit his rank. Thirty days later, he clawed his way out of his coffin and to the surface.”
Celestia frowned. Resurrection, true resurrection, was not possible. Not even Discord, for all that he seemed to bend the universe to his whim, had shown any sign of that power.
Celestia reached out with a tendril of magic, as delicate as a newborn filly, and brushed against Spy. Spy was as dead as a stone, which was only slightly less impossible than resurrection. There should be life within him as parts of his body that did not rely upon his brain continued. Yet there he lay, with not a single thing within him showing any sign of ever being alive. She reached out with a different tendril of magic, and found him cold to the touch, as if left on ice for days. The world around Spy seemed to darken as she withdrew her tendril.
Turning to Luna, Celestia nodded. “Let us move him to the Vault. He should be secure there, should he return. His equipment would no doubt end up there anyway.” Luna nodded back. Both their horns began to glow, but before they could complete the spell, some around her changed, and the sudden difference snapped her concentration.
Celestia glanced at her sister, who seemed as confused as she did. Warily, Celestia closed her eyes and reached out around her, trying to spot what had changed. She felt Luna doing the same. As they searched, the clouds opened up and the rain began.
It took them a few seconds to spot what had happened. It had been a subtle change, despite how large it was. Slowly, fearfully, Celestia opened her eyes and looked skywards.
Pink clouds let loose a brown rain. Thunder sounded, and it was the laughter of a mad god's laughter.
Celestia froze as the city echoed with the laughter of a insane god. The sound did not follow the laws of the universe any more than the being that made it did. It echoed oddly, changed in pitch and tone randomly, and would stop and start again with no rhyme or reason.
This was bad. How bad, Celestia was not sure. It could be anywhere from completely terrible to apocalyptic; it all depended on how Discord had taken his imprisonment. If he had taken it the same way he had taken all of her attempts to imprison him over the years, then at least some ponies would survive. But if she had wounded his pride or, even worse, broken one of the ‘rules’ he held for himself and all that challenged him, then Celestia feared for her little ponies.
“What do we do?” Celestia turned to face her sister, trying desperately to not show how panicked she was. She opened her mouth to say they should both go and confront Discord when her eyes fell upon Spy. While she would not dream of trying to use the being on the ground against Discord, neither could she leave him in the street, especially if what Luna had said was true.
It was a simple decision. She needed somewhere that could hold Spy, no matter what other tricks he held in reserve. That meant the Vault. Nothing could escape the Vault, bar Discord, and he didn’t count.
“Take him to the Vault, sister. I shall stall Discord. If you see Chrysalis, send her to me.”
Luna nodded, levitating Spy and gathering energy in preparation of teleporting around the wards of the Vault. Celestia readied her own teleportation spell. No need to go in search of Discord. His arrogance meant there was only one place he would be. In a flash of brilliant white light, she vanished.
The throne room was, surprisingly, exactly as it should have been. As soon as she arrived there, before she had even opened her eyes, she scanned the room for traps. She found nothing. When dealing with Discord, however, that did not mean there were no traps. She was not too arrogant to admit that Discord was at least as intelligent as she was. As crazy as it was possible to be, perhaps, but intelligent. Quite probably he was more intelligent than her.
So she stood exactly where she had teleported to, and stared at the thing lounging in her throne room.
The god of chaos sat on a throne of old bone and new wood, one leg thrown over the side, head leaning over the, antlers brushing the floor. Discord glanced at her, then returned to cleaning his claws. “You’re late,” was all he said. He looked just as he had before the Elements of Harmony imprisoned him in stone.
Celestia was in no mood for games. “What do you want, Discord?”
“How much longer you expect this Spy fellow to be a nuisance?” he asked, holding his claws up to the light.
“I do not,” she replied. Giving him the answer he asked for and nothing more was a lesson she learned long ago. Give him to much, and he felt things too easy, which made him bored. Give him nothing, and he accused her of cheating, which made him angry. She wasn’t sure which was worse.
Discord glanced at her, his face twitching towards a frown that didn’t even have time to form before a look of understanding took its place, which was itself quickly replaced by boredom. “Ah, you have him captured. Which means the Vault, yes?” If he noticed her surprise, he didn’t show it. The Vault had been built after his imprisonment. There had been no point to building it, or indeed building anything, before. Had he just let something slip?
“Which means either Chrysalis or the Lunatic is guarding him, probably Luna.” He grinned wildly at that, a sight that brought with it a great deal of worry.
“Why do you care about this Spy?” Celestia asked. “How do you even know about him?”
“Why, he came to visit me, of course!” His voice came from over her shoulder, and in the split second the change in direction distracted her, Discord moved. He was inches from her face, staring her in the eyes. “Asked for my help in bringing all your dreams to ruin. Had quite the compelling argument, as well.” She felt herself panicking when he continued, “I turned him down, of course. I’m strictly a solo act, after all.” Discord leaned back, flipping completely around.
“And my first question?” Celestia asked. As discreetly as possible, she sent a feeler of magic towards the sun. She hadn’t felt Discord touching it, so if it was where it should be, she had been speaking to Discord for somewhere between two and five minutes. Time was tricky near Discord, like even it wanted to be away from him.
“Well, I don’t care about him. Normally, I’d thank him for freeing me a little early and send him on his merry way, but he has gotten in the habit of breaking my toys, which simply cannot be allowed. So, my little pony, I have a deal for you.”
Celestia almost dismissed the draconequus out of hand, but stopped herself. They had Spy in the Vault, and despite his many other failings, Discord had always honored a deal, if not exactly the way you expected.
“And what would the terms of this deal be?” she asked.
Discord was next to her, one arm thrown over her back and wrapping completely around her. “It’s quite simple, really. You have five days to bring Spy to me, and in return I’ll send him away. He’ll never be a problem again.”
She looked at him. The deal was quite literally too good to be true.
“And,” he continued, not looking at her, “to sweeten the deal, I’ll even give you a years head start, after.”
“‘Head start’?” she asked. He couldn’t be offering what she thought he was.
Discord was above and in front of her, floating idly. The arm around her remained, and had started brushing her tail. “Yup. After this whole Spy business is over, you have one year to plan and prepare. Of course, I also have one year, but I promise not to peek at what you’re doing. So, yes or no?”
“Why?” she asked before she could stop herself. “This is easily the best deal you’ve ever offered. What has Spy done to make you do this?”
“As wonderful as I am, Celestia, I do have a few faults. I do not share, Celestia. You and your little ponies are mine. Spy must pay for what he has done, and as for whatever sent him here, well, I do not take kindly to poachers.”
Celestia looked down at her hooves. It was too good to be true. It was too good to ignore. But if there was anything about Discord that had remained true over the millennia, it was that he held to a deal. There was really only one choice she could make.
“You have a deal, Discord.”
The lightning that flashed as she spoke was not at all ominous or portentous.
[Present]
[Luna]
The air in Vault the buzzed with magic, power barely contained behind the greatest wards the world had ever seen. It set her on edge and made her fur stand up.
Luna lay Spy on a workbench, putting away the scribbled notes of whatever unicorn had been working here. She cast a few quick spells to bind Spy to the table, then looked towards the throne room and her sister. She should be at Celestia’s side, helping her think through whatever machinations the mad god had planned, but she had felt nothing, not even a trickle of magic from the throne room. Could things be going peacefully? No, the could not, but a lack of peace did not mean open violence. Deals had been struck before, and if Discord wanted her there he would bring her there. If she stayed here, she had a chance to study Spy while he slept, something she had never managed before, something she had wondered about during her banishment. Curiosity won out, and she reinforced the bindings before beginning.
Slowly, carefully, as if worried even the slightest brush of magic might awaken the monster that lay before her, Luna searched Spy’s clothing for items, and was only slightly surprised at what she found.
Two blades. The first was clearly the product of remarkable skill, the blade etched with an intricate design and a number, the handle no doubt carved to fit Spy’s hand perfectly, and polished to a mirror sheen. The second was a complete contrast to the first, a solid piece of some black metal, with only a ragged cloth as a grip. From what Luna knew of weapons wielded by creatures like Spy, it was weighted oddly, not quite right for stabbing, not quite right for slashing.
Also in his possession was a unicorn horn, a stallion’s by the look of it. No doubt it once belonged to Shining Armour. It was coated in a mixture of blood and dirt, but the tip was surely sharper than it had ever been when the Captain of the Guard wore it ‘pon his head. He had not seemed the type to sharpen his horn.
Next were what seemed to be two impossibly tiny clocks, but that could not be the case. One was the size of her hoof, and the other even smaller! If not for the fact that the time they showed matched the time the stars told her, she would not know what to make of them. She set them aside, with the blades and the horn, for later study.
Next were two items that confused her. One was a case, made of a metal that at first looked like silver, but from the weight of it was most assuredly not. After a few seconds fiddling, it popped open. One side held a few long, thin sticks she had never seen Spy use, the other held what seemed to be a black mirror. It went next to the blades. The other was a set of small cards, fifty-two in number, similar to those used in Las Pegasus, though with designs relating to Spy’s species. There was nothing magical about it whatsoever. She looked through them, looking at the designs and marvelling at the quality of the construction. Every card was exactly the same size and thickness.
Last was possibly his most dangerous weapon. She lifted it slowly and kept it pointed away from her at all times. She had seen what that could do to ponies, and was at once both respectful and disgusted, even as she saw it for what it was; a work of engineering to rival the greatest of arts. So much power, from the smallest twitch. She levitated it slowly to the other side of the room.
Quickly checking the restraints holding Spy, she set about probing the two blades with magic. When she saw the results of the first few scans, she focused on them more closely. The results made no sense. There was magic in the blades, but it didn’t do anything. She started a few more scans when her restrains failed. She teleported to the other side of the workbench. When the flash faded, Spy was sitting up, looking right at her. She froze. Even under his mask, Spy seemed weary.
“So, you’re what passes for Luna now?”
She remained silent, gathering magic for a high strength, wide area binding. It shouldn’t have been necessary, but he should be dead.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Spy said. “So, the parts of Luna that Celestia approved of, how do you feel knowing Celestia essentially killed her real sister and let you take her place?”
What?
Concentration lost, her magic sputtered momentarily, but she kept a hold of the spell. It took her a few moments to realise Spy was waiting for her response, and a few more to formulate an answer.
“What?”
It was a very complex spell.
“Okay, stop me if I’m wrong. Celestia sent her personal student to cleanse you, someone who was fanatically devoted to Celestia, enough to make all the other fanatics look like non-believers.” Spy pushed himself off the workbench and to his feet, taking a few shaky steps. “And the Elements don’t have a mind of their own, thats why they need bearers to direct the power they give. Magic acts as the main director, which means you were cleansed off everything the bearer of Magic felt was wrong, which included not thinking Celestia was perfect.”
Luna shook her head. “Too many unknowns for a valid hypothesis, Spy.”
“Oh really? Then tell me, when was the last time you disagreed with Celestia?” Spy took a step forward. “The last time you acted like a diarchy, instead of a monarchy?”
Luna rolled her eyes. “You realise this is pointless, don’t you? I trust my sister, and even if she would do something like that, the Elements would not.” She levitated Spy back onto the workbench and bound him to it again. This binding prevented him from moving more than a few steps from the bench. “And if they would, I would not be able to doubt my sister enough to fall for it. Face it Spy, you’ve lost.”
She didn’t expect an answer, but used the time to study Spy. He glanced over his shoulder to where his knives and non-weapons sat. Turning back to Luna, he reached up to his hat and removed the card from the band there. Placing the card between his two hands, he blew on it gently, and when he opened his hands the deck was sitting there. There had been no flash, no sound, nothing to suggest it was magic other than the teleportation. Luna just added the deck to the list of questions she had, right under ‘what are you?’ and ‘how are you not dead?’
Spy shuffled the cards quickly and without any fuss, before fanning them out and holding them out to Luna. “Pick a card,” he said. “Any card.”
[Present]
[Spy]
I held out the deck of cards, not feeling all that worried. If I knew Luna, and I did, then she couldn’t not pick a card. But the silence was starting to get to me.
Luna peered at the cards, horn glowing. “What magic is in these cards?” she asked.
“None. No magic is in these cards.” Technically correct, in case she had some sort of lie detector spell. Ridiculous, but you never know with these ponies. I mean, they’re inherently ridiculous themselves because, y’know, ponies.
She looked up at me. “Why should I?”
“You want to know what these are for, don’t you?”
She shook her head. “I’m not doing anything you ask, Spy. How stupid you must think me to even try it, I don’t want to know.”
Huh. I guess she’s changed more than I thought. Oh well. It works better if its voluntary, or so I’m told, but if she won’t do it herself, I guess I’ll have to. I took one of the cards and flung it at her. She caught it in her magic. As soon as her aura touched it, the colour changed, shifting to a lighter blue with purple sparks.
Luna shuddered for a few seconds, letting the card fall to the floor.
“Good to have you back,” I told her.
She blinked a few times, shook her head, then nodded. “Yes, yes, of course it is. We have a problem, however.” She paused as I put everything in its place, only continuing when she had my attention again. “Discord is loose.”
Only one thing to say to that, really. “Shit.”
She nodded again. “I can match my sister blow for blow, but even combined we could not match Discord. Even with the Elements, I suspect he let us win.” She was looking at me expectantly now.
“I doubt there is much I can do, if he’s even half as powerful as you said. Still, there’s a chance he won’t get involved.”
“True. But this is all theoretical and, quite frankly, boring. You were in the middle of some sort of vengeance crusade against my sister before you were captured, correct?”
I nodded. “Thats right.”
She gave me a grin that made me think explosions would be in my near future. “Want some help?”
I grinned right back. “From you? Always.”
“Then I believe it is time to remind those outside why I was called Nightmare Moon.” Still grinning, she moved about the room we were in, taking random items from the shelves. I picked up the card I’d thrown at Luna, the King of Clubs, and put it back where it belonged.
Welcome back, I told the voice.
She caught it? Before I could answer, the voice continued. Good. Now only Her and the abomination remain in our way.
“What would you have us do?” I asked. “There is nothing we can do about Discord, unless you’ve been holding out on me or one of those things you picked up in the Vault is stronger than it looks.”
“A fair point. Have you considered retreating for now? Let my sister deal with Discord, and return when he is no longer a problem.”
I shook my head. “I’m not leaving until either Celestia is dead for good, I’m dead for good, or Equestria is a burned out husk of a country. And since the last needs the first to happen, that really only leaves us two options.”
“That it does.” She looked out the valley below us. We were hiding in a cave in the side of the mountain Canterlot was built on top of. It was nice, for a cave. Not wet, or smelly, and we didn’t have to share it with anything else. Not a lot of space, but you can’t have everything. We were maybe a hundred feet from Canterlot’s lowest point, don’t know how far from the highest.
“Anything we might run into that I should know about?” I asked Luna.
She frowned, then shook her head. “Not that I can think of. We have the most powerful items from the Vault, not counting the ones that can think for themselves, which I doubt Celestia would or could use. You removed the Captain of the Guard and her pupil, the two most powerful unicorns, and there aren’t any other unicorns with a talent for magic in the city. There is nothing else in the city that should give us pause.”
“You’re sure?” I ask her. “Absolutely sure?” She gave me one of those looks. I held up my hands. “Just checking.”
I took a deep breath and thought.
“Did I tell you the changelings were helping me?” I asked. Luna shook her head. “Yeah. I convinced Chrysalis to switch to my side, said I would help her get one over on Celestia. I may have also promised she could rule Equestria after. ‘Course, this was before Discord decided to be an arsehole.”
“I doubt Chrysalis was on your side,” Luna replied. “Help you she may, but she is always on her own side first and foremost. I doubt she would help us against Discord. She was always one to see which way the wind blows, and to move with it.”
“So it’s just us two then.” I dropped to the ground hard. Just because I’m crazy doesn’t mean I’m delusional. I knew our odds weren’t good. Luna must have been thinking along the same lines.
“At least Discord is unlikely to take an active role in things. And on a long enough timescale, we’re almost assured success. Being immortal does tend to give one more than enough time.”
“I’m not immortal,” I told her. The look she gave me said I had best explain or else bad things would happen to me better than any words could. “Well, for one thing, I do die, I just get brought back. It doesn’t do anything for aging. The only reason I’m not all decrepit is because Celestia put me in stasis.”
“And your second point,” Luna prompted.
“Hold your horses,” I said, waving her words away and ignoring the weird look on her face. “My second point is, well, you know how I’m crazy?” She nodded. “Well, while I am crazy, it’s not in the way you think. It’s the voice in my head thats the murderous psychopath, not me.”
“That does not fill me with confidence regarding your sanity, nor does it answer my question.”
“Yeah, well, you’re a horse. Anyway, at first the voice was just little things, a whisper here and there to help me out. But it grew, and so did it’s hatred for your sister. It’s the voice that wanted her dead at first, and I just went along with it because what the fuck else was I going to do? But when Celestia locked me up, it explained some things. Now, most of it you don’t need to know and I’m not going to tell you, but the long and the short of it is that it’s got a bone to pick with your sister, and would happily sacrifice you - literally sacrifice you - in order to kill her. It was the thing behind you whole ‘eternal night’ phase. Forcing the sun from the sky for long enough could probably make Celestia weak enough she wouldn’t be able to reform, which is as close to death as she’s likely to get.”
“And if that did not work?” Luna asked. She was taking notes of this. I don’t even know where she got paper.
“Plan B was do to Discord what it did to you, then destroy the Sun and Celestia, in that order. Which is bad.”
“Yes, Luna said, talking slowly. “Destroying the Sun would be bad. Would you also like to tell me water is wet?”
“Water’s wet. Anyway, it’s mostly bad ‘cause at that point I’d also die, along with everything else. And I kind of like being alive. It sucks sometimes, but mostly it’s okay. You’re alright too. Everyone else can go jump in a lake for all I care.”
There was a few moments of silence. I like to think it was because Luna was thinking over what I had said, but it’s more likely she was trying to dumb her response down enough for me to understand.
“Why was Plan B not Plan A? Was the entity not sure of it’s ability to control Discord?”
“I don’t exactly get to ask it questions. It tells me what it thinks I should know.”
Luna hmm’d in response, staring down at her notes. “I do not see anything we can do about that, so I think it best to just ignore it for now.”
That’s unexpected. “If you think it’s best.”
“I do,” she said. Her horn lit up as she split her notes into two separate bundles. “Have you thought of a plan yet?” I shook my head. “Then here is mine. A simple one, to start with.”
This ‘simple plan’ was about eight pages covered in Luna’s tiny, square writing. It had diagrams and contingencies. It was to my plans what Everest was to an anthill. “Alright,” I said looking through it. “When do we start?”
“Tonight is my sister’s birthday,” Luna said, a smile tugging at her lips. “It seems as good a time as any.”
[Present]
[Celestia]
“Your little sis has switched sides, y’know.”
Celestia glared at Discord. He couldn’t be trusted farther than he could be thrown, but like all things concerning the crazy draconequus, how far he could be thrown changed depending on his whims.
“Explain,” Celestia ordered. Discord looked at her, head tilted slightly, and she could hear him asking ‘Explain, what?’ even though she knew he hadn’t made a sound. She took a deep breath and tried again. “Explain, please.”
Discord sniffed, and her fur and mane whipped around as if caught in gale force winds. “Spy got to her,” Discord said, when the winds were gone. “She’s back to how she was when you two were play fighting, only crazier and not wanting eternal night. Seems an improvement, if you ask me.” A mirror appeared in front of him, with his reflection sporting a beard. He reached into the mirror and took the beard, wearing it as a hat.
“But Luna was never shy about attacking civilians. I thought you didn’t like it when people broke your toys?” It hurt to refer to her little ponies as toys, but she would do what had to be done.
“True,” Discord said. Celestia watched as his beard hat leapt from his head and started stalking a pair of the serving ponies.“But ponies are beginning to bore me. I’m thinking of moving away for a while. Maybe I’ll find where this ‘Spy’ fellow is from.”The beard wrapped part of itself around the forelimb of one of the ponies and pulled it free with a squelching sound, then did the same to a wing of the other, switching the limbs around before vanishing with a wobbling sound. “I like the cut of his jib. He’s got balls, spunk, pizzaz!”
Celestia knew better than to get her hopes up, she truly did, but the thought of being free of the threat of Discord suddenly no longer finding ponies funny was too much to hold at bay. Hope dawned like the light of her Sun.
“But you still need to hold up your end of the deal,” Discord said. Celestia’s heart dropped, but only slightly. It was to be expected; Discord would not leave one of his ‘games’ unfinished.
Celestia nodded, thinking. If Luna had swapped sides, then there were a few things that had to be done. She waved over Captain Flash Shield, Shining Armour’s replacement. This Captain of the Guard was much more battle-scarred than his predecessor, and she knew he would not like his orders.
“Captain Flash Shield, you are to take all remaining members of the guard and use them to secure the refugees in Ponyville and the surrounding area, effective immediately.”
“Your Highness,” Flash Shield began. Celestia cut him off.
“Effective immediately, Captain. This is no place for you now, I’m afraid. You do not want to be here when my sister and I meet. It would not go well for you.”
“With all due respect, Your Majesty, I do.”
“You are a parent, yes?” Celestia asked.
Flash Shield was only confused for a moment. “I see. I will ensure no guards or citizens remain in the city; the battle will be a difficult one without the distractions.” He turned to leave, but paused halfway across the room. Turning back, he asked, “And should you… fall?”
Celestia gave him a sad smile, “The sun always rises, Captain. Should the worst take place, look for me to the East.”
The Captain nodded, and left. Celestia could hear him shout orders to the few troops he had left.
Looking around, Celestia realised Discord had left at some point. Possibly. Only Spy came close to Discord for skill in invisibility.
“I cannot let Spy and Luna attack me at once; it would be two easy for Spy to slip around my flank and take me out,” Celestia mused. Talking aloud helped her think, she found, but she rarely got to do so. State secrets must remain so. “I could take to the air, but Luna was always the better flyer. A way to split them up, then.”
A quick teleportation spell brought her to the Vault, where a quick look around showed her almost all of the useful items had been taken. Almost. A few of the lesser items that had been acquired since Luna’s absence remained, the ones not dreamt about often. But even the lesser ones could be dangerous. “Still, it’s better to have but not need than to need but not have, especially when outnumbered. I did evacuate for a reason.”
Celestia took a pair of items she felt would be useful and returned to the throne out of habit more than anything. She started pacing.
“Perhaps defeat Spy first?” she asked the air. “Spy is powerful but fragile, while Luna is both powerful and durable. But Luna would need to be kept busy while I did so.” She looked over the items she had taken, and what she knew of the ones Luna had removed. Nothing possible came to mind. Discord was unlikely to help. She heard hooves and looked up expected to see Flash Shield reporting the evacuation complete save himself. That was not the case. Instead, she saw Spike, half again as tall as he had been last she saw him, the remaining Elements and Twilight’s parents, Nightlight and Twilight Velvet. Applejack stepped forward.
“We’re helpin’.” Behind her, the rest nodded.
Celestia could tell they would not leave if ordered. She could teleport them away, but Nightlight and Twilight Velvet could teleport them back. And Spike would be useful. As for the rest…
“Very well. Come, and I shall tell you how I plan to defeat Spy.”
