• Published 22nd Feb 2014
  • 2,152 Views, 38 Comments

Sweet Rose - Nobrains

[2nd Person] When you become the new mailman for Ponyville, you aren't sure whether to be happy or horrified after meeting a mare that you never thought would catch your eye.

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Chapter Two: Back At It Again

Chapter Two: Back At It Again

“Oh, come on Anon! Wake up!”

“I didn’t burn anything!” You shot up and immediately fell backwards into a pile of mail, sending everything up into the air. You shook your dizzy head, hoping to be brought back to reality.

Your boss was standing right over you now, shaking his head. “You know what Anon?”

“Wh-what?” You asked, scared for your life right now. You wouldn’t be surprised if he took you to the back and beat you with a trash bin until you were down for the count at this point.

“I think I need to keep you doing something more active, so you won’t fall asleep on me anymore,” a grin began to take form across his muzzle. “Yeah, I think that’s a pretty good idea. Anon, you’re going to be our newest mailpony.”

“I’m not a pony,” you point out quickly. Probably not the best course of action right now.

“Mailhuman yeah, whatever. When Derpy shows up to get the mail, why don’t you go with her and help her out when she’s making rounds on the ground? How does that sound?”

“Not too bad, actually,” that was hardly a problem. You enjoyed hanging out with the pegasus, and you know you could do it on a regular basis hopefully. Maybe not regular… this was probably just temporary until you got your shit in order.

Express pulled you up with a hoof and you patted yourself off. He looked at the mess you had made and called out for one of the other sorters down the hall to fix your mess. “I just want you ready when she comes, alright?”

You nod. “Alright.”

“And Anon.”


“What in Tartarus is keeping you awake at night?”

You pushed the tips of your fingers together, trying to come up with an answer. You didn’t want to tell him you were stuck up all night thinking about that beautiful mare. When your boss got a whiff that anyone had a crush on somebody, he would tease them on end and try to get them together within the week like some sort of crazy matchmaker. “Uhh… uhmm… stomach issues…”

“Huh?” Express raised an eyebrow at you. “Stomach issues?”

“Uhmm yeah, bad… food, you know.. kept me up all night…” You wanted to escape to the side at this point, but you weren’t going anywhere as long as your boss had eyes on you.

He looked at you for a long time, his expression changing slightly to a more disgusted judging gaze. “Forget I asked…” He turned around and went back up to the front.

You turned to look at the clock and found it would still be an hour before Derpy showed up and the ground shift would commence. You always wondered why they only began delivering on the ground in the afternoon and not in the morning, but you were met with realization that who did the deliveries was like a total of five pegasi, and there was a lot of mail to go around.

The Ponyville post office not only covered this town, but three other adjacent smaller settlements around, so you could guess why it took so long and why they were all pegasi. Maybe with you, you could get everyone in town while the others did the other settlements, that way everyone’s day ended earlier. You’d still need to learn the routes though. Good thing you were already halfway there already with being familiar with addresses and street names.

So you sat at your desk for the rest of the time. After that, your only friend here would be your mail bag, as you delivered junk across town. Maybe you’d even get to deliver something to that mare on your street. Oh no, you might actually have to deliver something to her again!

You had already accepted the fact you were smitten, but your goal was to stay away and hide like a scared little puppy until you could forget about her. You weren’t sure this was a viable idea as it seemed impossible to have her outside of your mind any longer than a few minutes. Here you were again, swooning over her in some ambivalent mix of horror and infatuation.

The hour passed and you were called out to the front. Express stood by the front door with Derpy, who was tapping her hooves all over the place and whistling. One of her eyes focused on you as you entered the room. “I heard you were going to be a new mailpony! That’s awesome, and I get to show you how I do everything!”

You smiled faintly. “Yeah, I’m glad it’s you that’s showing me,” honestly, you were. If it was anyone else this would be horribly awkward.

She nodded. “Well, I’m glad it’s you that I’m gonna be teaching!”

Express came up to you and handed you a heavy mailbag. “Here you go, Anon. Try not to drool on everything.”

“I won’t boss,” you gave him a thumbs up as he shooed you both out the front door of the post office. You left your boss baffled by the expression.

Derpy immediately began heading down the street towards the first line of houses. You caught up with her quick, holding onto your mailbag closely. “Hey, don’t forget I’m with you.”

She shook her head. “I won’t and there’s nothing to this, really.”

“Yeah, I thought so, but still I could at least, you know well… study,” you looked around, wondering why you were even talking. You should be delivering the mail.

Derpy seemed to grasp the situation at hand. “Well, we aren’t going to be slow about it, silly. We’re going to do this quick, like I always do, and then you can do it by yourself eventually!” She left you there as she went back to moving at her previous pace. You were forced to jog to keep up.

She was always like this, quick to act, and when talking came to mind, her attention span dropped considerably. You were just going to have to keep with her and observe, or fail horribly in the near future.

From house to house you went, tossing things on the front porch or knocking on pony’s doors for more important packages. After a few hours and trips around, you found you were nearly done, and luckily, the only letter to an address on your street was to your very own home. A letter from the princess, probably just to see how you were doing. You always thought she was too nosey though. You would make yourself seem so boring writing back, that she would never respond again, now that was a plan.

You and Derpy were crossing the market when you nearly had a fit of cardiac arrest. From across the square, the one mare that you didn’t want to see at the moment was there in a small booth filled with all sorts of different flowers. What the hell?! Why was this your luck?

You yelped and immediately diverted from your pegasi companion, diving into an alleyway, where you attempted to bring yourself under control. You couldn’t be this easy to move! Nobody got you to act like this ever before. This wasn’t going to be a permanent thing, was it? Thoughts of moving away just to keep yourself free of these overwhelming emotions flooded your mind.

The mailmare came into the alley not long after, looking for you. When her one eye focused on you, she smiled, but looked a bit confused. “What’s wrong, Anon? You screamed like a filly and ran off.”

You frowned at her. “I d-don’t… well I guess I freaked out just a bit…”

“You screamed pretty loud. I think everypony heard you,” she looked back down the way she had come. “They definitely heard.”

You were nearly sweating bullets. “Ah… crap… I-I hope she didn’t hear…”

“Who’s ‘she’?” Derpy asked, confused. Her eyes focused on you for once as she seemed to get something.

“N-nobody, Derpy… Nobody at all…” You looked away from her, trying to keep her from seeing your face. You were likely blushing from how flustered you felt right now.

She tapped you on the back, but you didn’t turn around. “So you’re afraid of somepony huh? Well, you know it’s always best to face your fears.”

That sounded like a horrible idea. “You can’t make me…” You wouldn’t even try to look her in her… eyes? You weren’t going to show weakness. Of course, cowering in an alley might have already done you in for any attempt at trying not to.

“You know I can, Anon.”

She sounded serious. The only time you had heard her really serious was when one pony forgot the muffins at the office’s Hearth’s Warming party. The poor stallion that had only brought donuts was in the hospital for like a week.

You slowly turned around, putting a hand across your face. “D-don’t hurt me….”

All you could see between your fingers was a determined look. You were going to do what she wanted whether you liked it or not. She was your friend, but holy shit, this was like worse than watching those japanese horror movies.

You got up slowly and she nodded, gently gripping your arm with her mouth. Aww, man you could feel her dripping saliva on you. You dared not complain, in fear that she would bite down. She dragged you out of the alleyway where everything in the market seemed to be going just as normal and your eyes locked on the mare by her flower stand again.

“Wh ih aht…?” You heard Derpy asked from your side. She didn’t even bother to pull her mouth free to talk. Sheesh she was determined.

Perhaps you could trick her, but then some other poor unsuspecting mare would get the wrong idea and you’d be in even worse trouble than before, especially when she-who-you-could-not-even-name-if-you-wanted-to was still here in the market.

Derpy jerked your arm, causing you to break out of monologue. You raised a weak and shaking arm towards the mare at the flower stand, wanting to be put of your misery in any way possible.

The mailmare let go of your arm then. You looked back at her and she gave you an impatient look with her uneven eyes. “Well? What are you waiting for? Go talk to her!”

“..but?” You half expecting to be dragged up there.

“What? You thought I was going to go do the talking for you? Anon, stop being so silly and just go talk to her so we can get on with the rest of the day!”

You faltered. “Stick with me here, alright? Be my wingman…” You were really thinking yourself pathetic at this point.

“I’m a pony Anon, and a mare at that,” Derpy pointed out to you. You frowned at her but remembered how often you took the time to point out the opposite to others as well.

“Can you at least back me up? Just stand near me?”

Derpy nodded after a long moment. “Sure thing, Anon. I should have known how scared you were to talk to her from that scream of yours.”

You didn’t have time to ponder whether or not she was mocking you as you approached the flower stand. The pale yellow mare seemed to be having a slow day as she leaned on her booth’s counter, her eyes on her hoof that was tapping the wooden surface.

She brought her gaze up as you stood in front of her booth. She immediately sat up straight, ready to make a sale, but realized who the two of you were. “Oh! It’s my two recent mailponies. Did you want to take a look at my flowers? I got all sorts of bouquets for special somepony’s.”

“Uhh…. no…” You looked over to Derpy for reassurance, but she just gestured to the mare. “We-er… I was just wondering how you were from yesterday. I sort of ran off pretty quickly, didn’t I?”

She nodded. “Oh yes, I suppose you did. Was everything okay? You seemed distressed.”

You instinctively pressed your fingers together nervously. “Yeah… just uhmm… you know… stomach issues…”

“Stomach issues?”

“Y-yeah…” You were about to drop dead.

The mare looked around for a short bit before returning to you. She must have took in all the possible meanings of stomach problems. “Well, think nothing of it,” she extended a hoof across the counter. “I’m Roseluck, and you are…?”

“C-call me Anon,” you took her hoof in your hand and nearly lost yourself in her soft fur. You fought the urge to lul back your head in ecstasy and simply shook it, eventually giving it up. You pointed to Derpy. “And this here’s Derpy…”

“I always wondered what your name was,” she waved to your mailmare companion, who waved back and gave her a big dumb grin, Derpy’s trademark, but misleading feature.

She studied you both for a second before speaking again. “So why are both of you together here?” Her eyes grew narrow with a grin. “You two aren’t a couple are you…?”

“N-NO!!” You blurted out immediately, causing Roseluck to withdraw backwards into her booth more. You noticed Derpy looking away and blushing profusely, shaking her head. “I mean… we aren’t… we’re… we’re just friends…”

“Well… alright, I was just asking…” Rose seemed a bit shaken, but no worse for the wear.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” You started, but were interrupting by the dreamy mare.

“It’s quite okay…. so… are you going to be a regular mailpony now?” She was quick to keep you comfortable and switching the subject. Maybe you weren’t in too much trouble here. It was actually kind of easy talking to her when you thought about it.

“I think so, but I’m not entirely sure. I… I just worked at the post office before this,” you began to explain, feeling more confident. You almost forgot Derpy was there, and it was just you and this pony called Roseluck.

“They must have thought you would be a good mailpony then. Celestia knows we need more of them around here. We’re always getting our mail late in the day,” she dragged her hoof along the counter as she spoke.

“We’re trying our best,” Derpy popped up right between you and the counter to confront her, knocking you in the chin and causing you to bite your tongue. You took a step back as Derpy dropped back onto the ground after her short flight.

Roseluck nodded, raising her forelegs in front of her. “Of course, I know you’re doing all that you can, but it still would be nice to have somepony to get us in the mornings.”

The mailmare gritted her teeth but eventually relaxed, going back to the side as you held your jaw, your tongue still stinging. You kind of wish she wasn’t here, but you wouldn’t be talking to Rose otherwise without her coercion.

“Are you okay?” Roseluck asked seeing your obvious discomfort.

“Yeah… just… bit my tongue…” You frowned, hoping Derpy hadn’t indirectly ruined your chance with this pony.

She gave a slight smile. “Well, I’m sure it isn’t nothing too bad.”

You nodded and began to grin yourself. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

For a long moment, you and Roseluck just stood there across from one another smiling. You were feeling really dumb and awkward all of a sudden.

Derpy tugged on your arm after a few. “I think we should really get to finishing up. There’s probably a lot of ponies waiting for their mail.”

You huffed out a sigh. “Alright…”

Roseluck looked at Derpy with some form of irritation. “Well, if you both have to go, I hope everything goes well for you.”

“Yeah, we do,” Derpy said impatiently, beginning to head off.

“Hopefully I’ll see you again?” Rose asked as she waved to you both as you began to follow Derpy.

You nearly tripped after hearing that. “C-count on it.”

You left out onto your home street, where you were nearly melting into a puddle of infatuation. Derpy sighed once as she went and dropped off a letter into a mailbox. She looked at the window of the home to see a stallion standing there, his eyes angry.

“Yes, good evening Mr. Weed!”

Even from your spot outside of the home you could hear the stallion’s voice reverberating all the wall through window and wall to get to you two.

“Waited all… Suppose to get a letter from my… took you long enough!”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Derpy motioned for you to follow her to the next home, which in fact happened to be yours.

You looked back at the house. “Is this what I have to look forward to?”

“Well no,” Derpy answered, trying to pick out any mail for you from the bag you held. “Since we’ll finally be able to deliver in the morning with you. You’d likely be their savior.”

You frowned at your friend. “Is everything okay Derpy?”

“Yeah, it is,” she pulled out a letter with your name on it and threw it into your mailbox with an unnecessary amount of force. This did little to change your frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well…” She hesitated, he gaze slipping to the ground before she left you in the dust once more, moving to the next house. “I’m not sure I like that mare.”

You were confused now. “What? Why wouldn’t you? She’s amazing.”

Derpy sighed once more, this time with blatant anger. “Yeah, I know. She just didn’t seem nice to me was all.”

“I’m sorry. Maybe you two will get another chance to talk?” You suggested hopefully. Partly because you weren’t sure you could talk to Roseluck by yourself still.

“Maybe Anon, I don’t know…” She finished delivering the mail to another as you went on through, continuing your discussion.

You began to drone on about the possibilities. “Maybe I’ll see her at her little booth again and we can all chat and have a good time and-”

“Anon, knock it off,” the mailmare was practically dragging her hooves now.

You gasped. “But… but…”

“Anon, if you’re going to deal with her, I want no part in it,” she sounded serious again. Oh boy.

Driven by the need to learn why she was acting like this and your overall feelings towards Rose, you pressed further where you should have really stopped.

You mustered up the most hurt expression you could, as if you had been completely and utterly devastated by her recent actions and behavior. “Derpy, why are you acting so mean? Roseluck hasn’t done anything to you…” You made sure to step in front of her, clasping your hands together to appear pitiful as you stuck out your bottom lip, quivering it.

“Please stop,” she went right around you to the next mailbox, leaving you standing there, disappointed.

You turned around and kept the pace with the fuming pegasus. “Derpy, I need you to help me with her… I’m not good with girls-err-mares.”

She stopped and sighed. You hoped you hadn’t caused anything to snap in her little noggin. The second that happened you were a dead man, likely to be dropped from Cloudsdale. A sort of light shined across her eyes as she looked at you, her nose scrunching with mental confliction.

“Alright Anon, I’ll help you, but only because you asked, and not for… her.”

You nearly erupted into cheers, but Derpy calmed you down with a hoof, heading down the street to the next set of houses, your street done with. You stayed a bit back, unsure whether or not keeping pace with her now would cause her to have a relapse into anger.

The day came to an end soon after that, and after avoiding another angry resident throwing a rock at you for “being lazy good-for-nothing’s” in regards to your job here in Equestria.

Derpy left you surprisingly reluctantly. You weren’t sure why, but she frowned when the last home had received their mail.

“Be careful going home, okay Anon?” She had told you, beginning to fly off rather slowly, looking back at you several times.

You waved, but felt she wanted to say something else. It was probably regarding Roseluck. You weren’t sure why she would even care, or how she had even bothered her the way she had. It was probably that comment about the post office needing more ponies. Well, you were going to make things much better for the ponies here in Ponyville. All by yourself. Yeah.

Back at your home, it was just as you remembered it. You were hoping it might have turned into a castle while you were gone, but even though magic existed here in Equestria, you never seemed to catch a break, ever.

Inside, you made yourself dinner, a few hard boiled eggs, and went to read a book. You really wished they had some interesting literature here, but maybe your threshold for fantastical adventures in written form was raised a bit too high since you were living in a fantasy world yourself. Still, this book on the many adventures of a dropout unicorn was somewhat entertaining and before long you caught yourself beginning to doze off on your couch.

You dragged your tired body to your bed, mumbling about how things were going to be real different starting tomorrow. Up early, out early, doing your job early and then you’d have the whole day to yourself… and maybe Roseluck.

That made you smile as you pulled the sheets over your exhausted form. It was going to be a good day tomorrow. A new job, and possibly more time to chat with the only pony that had ever caught your eye.

You fell asleep, wondering how the hell you would embarrass yourself tomorrow.