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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Good lord that was a monster of a chapter! But I have finished now, and overall I did like it.
I think I particularly appreciate that Candy doesn't know what to do. It would have been easy to fall into a trap of immediately deciding on a motivation, and I'm glad to see that's not the case here. Sure they're going about a few immediate tasks, killing raiders and earning the respect of Mareon, but those are more immediate goals. It's refreshing to see a character, new to the Wasteland, be completely unsure of what she's going to do with the rest of her life.
I will say that there was probably some stuff in this chapter that could have been cut. Little snippets here and there, or points where a chapter break could have taken place. But to be honest, that might just be my own bias towards shorter chapters coming through. To give an example, I liked that the Pyro's backstory was included (and I absolutely like Candy's reaction, that whole denial of a switch flipping to turn someone into a raider), but I do think that maybe it was a bit too detailed. Also what happened to that creature that burst out from behind the bookcase and ran away? Did the PipBuck device drive it off completely?
In other news, huzzah for racial tension, and huzzah for creepy recordings left behind for Candy and Nohta! Who the hell made that recording anyway? And did she burn the bridge, literally? Hrm. Anyway despite how much it could have resulted in getting her head blown clean off, I liked Candy rushing over to String Cheese the second she realized he was sick, and damn the consequences.
For a second there I thought it was gonna turn out that Cheddar and the family were actually Rangers, when they were talking about their scouts and such. The attitude of these Rangers was great too, just ignoring Candy and Nohta as if they were lab specimens. I loved the Dragon's Breath potion, too. For a bit there, I was worried this would turn out horribly, like one of the instructions would go completely wrong or something. But then the fire-breathing started, and the meaning of the specific instructions became very clear, hehe.
The story is still very interesting, and it was good to give the characters a bit of down time after the Stable. Looks like things are picking back up again, with these Rangers, and I look forward to more!
Well... I guess not even libraries are sacred anymore.