Wow, this is looking fantastic, Arowid. I will have to keep my eye on this one. I saw the cover art for this before you put the story up. Thought that it'd be interesting, and, sure enough, it is. Candy's narration style is very colourful and keeps you listening. And your first chapter... it's twice as long as the ones that I'm used to. I wish you the best of luck in writing more of this story. There aren't many mistakes that I've noticed, the ones that I did not being of great importance. When do you think you can release the next chapter? I'll definitely stay tuned.

Thanks for the feedback! I love to hear what people are thinking!

My editor and I are currently working on getting chapter three out, but chapter two is already done and will be up shortly. I just need to go through and clean up the converted file when I upload it from Gdocs. But you can probably expect it by the end of the day. More likely it will be up within an hour or two.

I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far!

3945272 A great chapter. Good character motivation and conflict--both internal and external.

Sorry to see Spicy perish just as he confessed his feelings to Candy, but I'm sure that won't traumatize her at all, right?....right?....

Gr8 chapter. Can't wait to find out what's next

I don't like this particular chapter because some things seem too much like what game logic does. Immediately destroys the caravan and they're forced to wander like in games. Conveniently taught in particular lockpicking without anything else she could be taught along with that, did the Stable have a big supply of locks to practice on? How does he teach her Sneak/Lockpick inside the Stable?

Cave of Eels

literal references. Makes me think it's literally that Vault, but it isn't, right?

Wow, you're doing it with the skill stuf as well and even for thw hoth of them.

Mareon sounds likea mix of Arebu and Megaton. Also: Poor Spicy, I hopwd for a romance here...

A few grammar errors, but other than that this is pretty good! It's unfortunate that Candy and Nohta had to be introduced to Wastrland life like this, but let's be honest hefe... How else does it happen?