“No! Luna, don’t do this! There will be dire consequences!” cried out a desperate Twilight Sparkle, clutching her broken front hoof.
The Princess of the Night did nothing but laugh at the broken unicorn. “What couldst thou do? Thy precious Princess Celestia hath finally repaid her debts for banishing us in the first place. The Elements hold no power over us, weakling! Only we possess the knowledge of where they lie!”
“You’re lying! You’ve hidden them somewhere in the Everfree Forest, haven’t you?” Twilight’s eyes began to water as she looked over to her fallen friends, scattered around the room, “Why are you doing this, Luna? You were… happy. Celestia loved you, and you betrayed her! Why?”
Princess Luna looked curtly at the purple Element of Magic, her frown turning into a smirk. “She hath finally crossed the line. We may have been many things, Twilight Sparkle, but happy was not one of them. Canst thou not see? Or art thou a fool, like thy mentor? Nightmare Moon was our redemption! Our reprieve from the mockings of the ponyfolk of Equestria. And now it is time for thy Princess Celestia’s final bow.”
She looked around at her surroundings, taking it all in. “When Equestria was first created, there was no sun. No light. Only darkness. And then thy precious sun rose from the ashes, and it brought forth light unto Equestria. Now it is time for the opposite. The moon shall rise! Exit light, enter night.” She laughed mockingly, but her expression changed from a triumphant smile to a saddened frown upon looking at the anger on Twilight’s face. The princess relaxed her stature, no longer standing straight and tall. She leaned towards Twilight, letting the unicorn see her saddened expression as she said, “Are we so wrong to wish that thou wouldst see things as we do? Are we so wrong to think that thou might love us too? Why shouldn’t they adore us, is it not within our right? We will not be overshadowed! Ours is not the lesser light! We’ve waited long enough now, for thee all to come around, and although thy Sun might plead and threaten, the Moon will stand her ground!”
A black mist, one that coursed through her veins, began circling around her and effectively engulfing her in lightning as dark as the mist itself. “And thou wilt know the wonders of our dark and jeweled sky, when all the world is wrapped in our eternal lullaby!” Her voice boomed across the wrecked Canterlot Castle, bringing Twilight to her knees.
Luna was now changing, the lightning transforming her body completely, increasing her height and turning her dark blue coat into one of pure black. Even her voice changed, becoming a little deeper as she yelled retribution, “So say goodnight to this, the final setting of the Sun! Tomorrow dawneth in darkness, the nighttime hath… BEGUN!” The newly transformed Luna looked down at Twilight, charging her horn with her dark magic. She focused her power of the six ponies in front of her, five of which lay comatose on the floor. She could hear Twilight scream as she conjured up more of the black mist and surrounded the ponies with it. A little more concentration and her assailants were gone, cast out of the Castle as well as Equestria, forever.
~~~~~~
“Sunset, what the buck have you done?!” the shocked Night Guard yelled at me as his jaw hung in disbelief.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” I replied, sounding as genuine as I possibly could in front of this blaring idiot. If he knew anything, he would know this was completely for science, even if I happened to blow up the queen’s carriage storage room.
“What am I going to tell the queen? You were just fooling around with spells that were supposed to be off-limits to you?”
I glared at him, dropping the innocent schoolmare act. “Then tell her the truth! It was for science. Some old Starswirl the Bearded spells were found, I had to make sure they were safe to use!”
The guard snorted, then looked at me with a frown, saying, “Apparently they weren’t.”
I sighed. “Okay, okay, what do you want me to say? Should I just walk up to her and say, ‘Hey, lady! I blew up your fancy-ass carriages! You mad brah?’ Because I can do that.”
The Night Guard looked like he wanted to blow a fuse, his face starting to turn red underneath his gray coat. He lifted his spear and struck the ground with it. Menacingly, he responded, “Don’t use that language with me, young mare. Now, I’ll take care of this one, but the next time you mess up like this, you’ll get what’s coming to you. Jail time. And fines, too.”
“Okay. Thanks,” I replied, turning my head away. “So… bye?”
“Goodbye, Sunset Shimmer,” he said curtly, then turned away, signaling it was time for me to leave.
I did as was directed, leaving behind the grumbling work ponies desperately trying to fix the storage room before the queen found out. The night sky was particularly nice today, almost a full moon. She definitely outdid herself tonight.
Well, she did every night.
It almost made me not miss daytime as much.
Well, I guess it’s not up to me. At least I got to see the sun once in my life. Foals who are born now don’t even know what a sunset is. I literally get asked by little grade school foals what my name means. It makes me feel bad for them, never knowing what the sun looks like. They will never feel the sun’s bright rays that would bring them a comforting warmth.
It’s been ten years since Nightmare Moon took over, and the night still remains eternal.
Sometimes I wish I could reverse this. Maybe if I had stayed in Equestria instead of going through the portal to Earth, it would’ve been different.
Twilight Sparkle would never have been the Element of Magic. Maybe that title would’ve been given to me.
I shook the thought out of my head and trekked through Canterlot, ponies brushing up against me as they went to do their nightly chores and whatever else they pleased. My hooves started to pick up into a steady trot, making ponies move aside to give me sufficient room to move.
I suppose I’m well known, being a highest level unicorn and a top advisor to Cloud Crest, the Royal Commander of the Night Guard. But I doubt this “accident” of mine will slide. It’s not a good thing to destroy the queen’s personal property, so I might even get discharged from the Guard. This wasn’t a big problem, it was something that could be easily fixed, so I doubted my punishment would be something drastic like execution.
But there was always a shot that I would get hurt, or thrown in jail. I let the thought linger at the back of my mind and frowned. What if the queen wasn’t as merciful as I thought she was? I had never met her personally, but I hadn’t heard a lot of bad things about her recently. Although the Night Guard had told me he would fix it for me, so that shouldn’t present too much of a problem... Right?
Suddenly, I heard a familiar snicker followed by hoofsteps towards me and immediately, I halted. The worries seemed to slide away as I turned my attention towards the sounds. My ears cocked and I listened closely for the voice again, and a smile crept up on my face.
“Oh, I wonder who it is,” I said in a sing-song voice, turning my head around. “Could it be the peculiar pony I see around a lot? By the name of… Scootaloo?”
All of a sudden, the orange pegasus jumped on me, effectively knocking me to the ground as quick as lightning. After she noticed that I wasn't fighting back, she stood over me with her wings unfurled. Her purple mane swept over her eyes as a triumphant smile played across her lips. Scootaloo was my best friend for ten years, ever since the start of the Eternal Night, and this was a sort of inside joke for us. “Come on, Sunset. I’m almost as old as you are, no need to act like I’m a child," she complained, still keeping her position and pinning me to the ground.
“You’re six years younger than me. That’s young enough, little poochie pie!” I replied mockingly as I pushed the pegasus off of me.
Scootaloo was a high-profile pony too. Ever since the Wonderbolts were disbanded by the queen, the Shadowbolts took over with Scootaloo being put in charge of them, making her quite famous. Our other friends, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, were also well known with Sweetie being a singer and Apple Bloom working in her farm alongside her family.
As I stood up, the pegasus looked at me in excitement. “So is it true that you blew up the queen’s carriage storage room?” she asked.
“Blew up isn’t the correct term,” I corrected her, “I would say more… imploded on itself.”
“Oh. That Starswirl spell not working out for you?” She cocked her head to the side, looking at me with wide eyes.
“Apparently not,” I replied, brushing myself off with a hoof.
“You’ll get there,” Scootaloo told me as she started to walk. “Are you coming?” she asked, and I shook my head.
“I still have to go run some errands,” I replied, turning my head to look at the crowded city in front of me.
Scootaloo nodded, looking a bit disappointed. “Okay, see you back at home.” Her orange wings spread out and she lifted off, leaving some of the surrounding ponies staring in awe at her.
As well as being my best friend, she was also my roommate. We met under unfortunate circumstances ten years ago, when I was barely sixteen and she was ten. She stumbled her way into Canterlot, sobbing and homeless. Everypony around thought she was crazy because she muttered something about rainbows and loyalty in midst of her sobbing. I took her in, brought her to my home and was nice to her, giving her food and a place to rest. Eventually, we became the best of friends.
I started my walk through Canterlot, watching as the ponies around me cleared a path in order for me to get through. The quill store was close by, it was just a matter of getting to it.
Knowing my target, I started to walk towards 'Quinn's Quills and Pet Quails,' but before I could get far, a large object crashed into me, knocking me over and pinning me against the pavement.
“Ow!” I cried out to the object, trying to spin around so I could get a look at it. "Scootaloo, is that you? I thought you left to go back home—" I stopped as I noticed that the object was not, in fact, Scootaloo.
It was a unicorn covered in some sort of white hood. Her coat was a purple hue and her eyes scanned me from top to bottom. “So this is the prodigal pony?" she mumbled to herself, clucking her tongue judgingly. Then before I could protest, she got off of me and levitated me above her head using her magic.
“I’m sorry but, who the buck are you?” I asked, still in her pinkish aura, struggling to get out of her grasp.
“That is irrelevant," the pony replied, still scanning me with her magic. Finally, apparently satisfied, she set me on the ground gently and released me, allowing me to stand.
I sighed, thankful to be back on the ground. “Why is it irrelevant?”
“My name and my status are unimportant to you, for now.” The unicorn's hood covered her face, but I could hear the slight annoyance in her voice as she concluded, “You’ll do. Not perfect, but not terrible either." She turned so her back was facing me. "You may not know me yet, Sunset Shimmer, but you will soon. For now, this is goodbye. But I am positive we shall meet again."
I opened my mouth, anxious to reply to her statement and ask her how she knew my name, but before I could, her horn lit up and with a flash of blinding white light, she was gone.
What a creep.
~~~~~~
“Sunset, wake up! Wake up, Sunset!” I felt hooves on my shoulders as I opened my eyes, staring at Scootaloo. “You have a letter! It's from work!"
I shot up, swearing under my breath, “What is it about?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t read it!” Scootaloo dashed over to the desk a couple of feet away and grabbed the letter, tossing it to me. I caught it in my hooves and looked on the cover. On the top was the seal of the queen.
“Buck!” I yelled, snapping the seal, then snatching the letter out of its envelope.
Dear Sunset Shimmer,
After yesterday’s accident at work, in which you used a spell to destroy half of Her Majesty Queen Nightmare Moon’s storage room, the Queen and I have decided that you are not fit for the type of work required for the Night Guard.
“BUCK!” I yelled even louder. Scootaloo shushed me, gesturing towards the letter.
Instead, we are moving you to Prince Blueblood’s royal advisors and help. You will now work for the Prince specifically, however, you still have a duty to the queen. You will be informed as to what you will be doing by Sparkler, Prince Blueblood’s personal protégé. Meet her at Canterlot Castle’s north wing, where Prince Blueblood resides. She will await you at the entrance.
~Cloud Crest
Commander of the First Legion of the Night Guards
On behalf of Nightmare Moon, Queen of the Night
“So you’re going to get a job with that asshole?” Scootaloo asked me, cringing. “We did a show for him once. He was terrible.”
“I guess I am,” I grumbled. “I guess I’d better go,” I told her, a somber tone invading my voice. I threw the blanket off of me and stood up, getting out of my plush bed.
“Yeah,” Scootaloo replied. Suddenly her voice became cheerier as she interjected, “Hey! Remember that Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are visiting in two days!” Scootaloo bounced in the air a couple of times, beaming at me.
“What does that have to do with anything?” I asked, annoyed.
“Nothing… I just wanted to make sure you remember,” replied the sheepish pegasus.
I smiled, said goodbye, and rushed out the door and into the nighttime air of Canterlot. My hooves pounded against the ground as I galloped towards my location: the north wing of the Castle.
Eventually, I slowed down and looked at the castle that loomed over me.
The Night Guards that were positioned there looked at me, uncrossing their spears and opening the doors. “Thank you, kind sirs," I told them, flipping my mane seductively as I made my way inside.
My jaw dropped the moment I entered and caught sight of what, or rather who was occupying the room. The same pony from last night was there, standing right in front of me! Her cloak was still on her, although the hood was down, so I could see her entire face. Most stallions would probably think she was beautiful, the way her mane flowed and how her eyes looked like crystals.
“Welcome to the north wing, Sunset Shimmer,” she greeted me. “My name is Sparkler, and I will be your guide to work under Prince Blueblood.”
“You! You crashed into me last night! You said—”
“I said you’d do. Who do you think got you this job?" she replied, sporting an annoyed look. "The prince and I have seen you around and heard good things about you from Cloud Crest, and seeing your recent, ahem, accident, you should be grateful. Anyway, it is much better, working for a prince instead of a commander."
“Grateful? You are—” But I didn’t get to finish before she raised a hoof, silencing me.
“Welcome to Prince Blueblood’s personal court,” Sparkler told me, and started to walk away. “I hope you’ll enjoy your stay."
~~~~~~
Sparkler led me through the massive hallways of the right wing, pointing out everything of remote “importance”. Yeah, like I was interested hearing a twenty-minute lecture about a copy of the painting Blueblood was given for his twenty-first birthday nine years ago.
Even though I didn’t want to hear anything Sparkler told me, I couldn’t help but marvel at the beautiful architecture of the castle. It seemed so grand to me. I certainly was not used to this type of regalia at Cloud Crest's office. In fact, it looked so drab compared to the masterpiece of a castle, I began to wonder if it was only poorer city ponies like me who didn't get this much pampering. I looked over to Sparkler to see if it had any impact on her, but she looked like she couldn't care less.
Eventually, Sparkler knocked on another grand doorway and opened it, revealing what looked like an office inside. The room was empty but I could hear a muffled voice come from the room adjacent to the office.
“The prince will be here soon,” Sparkler told me, flipping her mane.
Sure enough, after a few minutes a large stallion made his way into the room, looking tired and befuzzled.
I gasped in admiration. He… He was gorgeous! His blonde mane partially covered his eyes, but was still neatly groomed. He was muscular and regal, and his eyes were a beautiful shade of blue.
“Who is this, Sparkler?” the stallion asked, sounding exhausted, as if he had just had an all-nighter.
“This is Sunset Shimmer, your highness,” Sparkler replied, pointing a hoof at me. “She will be your new royal advisor."
"Royal advisor?" he snorted. "I hope you turn out to be better than my old one. I had to throw him in the dungeon after his poor performance. Old stallion didn't hear a thing."
I frowned, stepping back a bit. "Well that's a bit rude, don't you think?" I snapped, eyeing him suspiciously. I immediately regretted it.
That little outburst earned a glare from Sparkler. “Rule number one, Sunset, don’t ever talk back in the presence of the prince," she responded, then turning back to the stallion
I gulped. Oh, great. Another member of the royal family, pissed off with something I did. “Oh… um… sorry, your highness,” I muttered, cursing myself internally.
Prince Blueblood looked at me tiredly. “Excused. Just this once," he told me, before turning around and heading out of the room.
After he left, Sparkler looked at me, shaking her head in disapproval. “You have a lot to learn, Sunset Shimmer, a lot.”
I'll be keeping an eye on this story, seems interesting...
3893553
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoy the plot so far!
3893573
I did see the reference with Luna's speech, quite clever I must say.
The pacing and staging of the scenes seems a little rushed/fast, almost like you were rushing for the story to get to the point Could use more of athmospheric descriptions and staging and just chilling and taking things slower overall.
The plot itself seems like a flat out crazy concept in an intriguing way so I look forward to seeing how it forges ahead!
3893670
Thank you I'm glad you did. I always liked that song.
3893678
Thank you for the suggestions! It really helps when people actually tell me what they didn't like in the story.
Yes, the faster plot was intentional, and I will be slowing down in the next chapter. But also, I'm not very good at slowing things down. That's something I always struggle with.
And I'm glad you like it! The inspiration for this thing came to me from the book "Where the Mountain Meets the Moon". It's pretty good for a children's book.
You made a few mistakes with your Middle English.
This should be:
Should be:
I already had this helped somepony else with Middle English; so now, I repost what I then wrote:
#1 · 21h, 10m ago · · ·
>> MariusIoannesP
No, I am not a linguist. I just saw that “with thou” is wrong, double-check the grammar of Middle English, and posted the grammar.
MariusIoannesP
#2 · 21h, 28m ago · · · Walabio
>> Walabio Wow. Are you like a linguist or something? I used to want to be a linguist when I was a kid.
Walabio
#3 · 22h, 57m ago · · · MariusIoannesP
>> MariusIoannesP
English was much more like German with 5 cases and much more verb conjugation, then a vowel-shift severed most of the suffixes. This is a common pattern:
A language has lots of suffixes, a vowel-shift severs the suffixes, leaving it an isolated language (no cases, genders, or numbers on nouns and no conjugations, aspect or tenses on verbs, with no grammatical endings on words) with grammar indicated solely by word-order. Its grammar is like Chinese.
Then prepositions or postpositions and number indicators fuse with nouns, forming cases, thus bring declension. Pronouns fuse with verbs causing conjugation and particles, and adverbs like will for future and already for aspect fuse with verbs, thus bringing aspect and tense. Its grammar is like Latin.
Then a vowel-shift severs the suffixes again.
¡Around and around it goes! ¿Where it stops? ¡Nopony knows!
I Forgot about whom:
Who is the subject.
One uses whom as the object.
¿Whose property is it?
¿Whom doth she love?
¿Who washeth the dog?
¿With whom thou swimmest?
¿Who burneth whose tree?
¡Now thou canst write like Princess Luna speaketh!
Thou aught to remember that the word “thou” is always singular. The most common mistake is to use it for addressing groups.
MariusIoannesP
#4 · 1d, 6h ago · · · Walabio
>> Walabio Now, it's fixed. Thank you that was very informative. It reminds me a bit of German.
Walabio
#5 · 1d, 19h ago · · · MariusIoannesP
> “with thou”
Should be:
> “with thee”
Personal pronouns in Middle English
Nominative Oblique Genitive Possessive
1st person singular I me my/mine mine
plural we us our ours
2nd person singular informal thou thee thy/thine thine
plural or formal singular ye, you you your yours
3rd person singular he/she/it him/her/it his/her/his (it) his/hers/his
plural they them their theirs
Remember that possessive pronouns and the indefinite article ends in the letter N before vowels, semivowels, and the letter H.
Conjugation:
Singular
I Walk.
Thou walkest
She, It, or He walketh.
Plural:
We walk.
You Walk.
They walk.
Oh yeah, the reference is to Ozzy Osborn.
The moon rises song!!!!! You know, her speech? EPIC!!! :D
¿Why has not every pony dead? Half of their world experiences never-ending day, while the other half is in perpetual night.
3893963
Oh. I knew I got some of that wrong! Thank you for helping me with that, I'll fix it once I get home from school.
3894033
Um...not the reference that I was thinking of... Close enough
3894100
Haha, yeah, me too! It was the first MLP fan song I've ever heard. It's been stuck in my head forever.
3894548
Yeah, I should put that in. But I don't know what you mean by never-ending day. The sun has been gone for a while now. But thank you for telling me this, and I'll start to hint at that in the next chapter. Maybe that'll clear some things up
3895598
3893963
Most of that sounds correct, but I wouldn't use an inverse question mark in an old english style question. It isn't used in the following transcript of Romeo and Juliet, as well as the wikipidia article on old English. I know '¿' is used in Spanish, but I don't think it's used here.
3898614
No, it isn't. The Old English punctuation is mostly the same as normal English.
So, you're right. I didn't add the question mark. Just the words.
3898623
Ah ok, I was going to comment on it yesterday but didn't get around to it.
Also, Apple Bloom's (if that is AB) cutie mark in the artwork looks awfully lot like the old Apple Computer logo, which is pretty cool
3898614
Inverted punctuation is an example of modernizing punctuation:
Only in the last few centuries has English worked out its punctuation. Most reprints of old text have to have their punctuation modernized because no standards existed a few hundred years ago. Not only did every author punctuate differently, but since none were sure how to punctuate, authors would try different ways of punctuating different works. Let us Look a at Chaucer, Shakespeare, and the King James Bible:
Modern reprints of Chaucer update the punctuation because of the irregular punctuation of the original. The same goes for Shakespeare. When England stopped being Catholic, it decided it needed its own version of the Bible. English punctuation was not yet settled, so its punctuation was all over the place. Most modern reprints have modernized its punctuation.
Nowadays, we have modern punctuation like ellipses ( … ), M-Dashes ( — ), question-marks ( ¿ ? ), interrobangs ( ⸘ ‽ ), Exclamation-points ( ¡ ! ), double-quotation-marks ( “ ” ), single-quotation-marks ( ’ ’ ), et cetera. If we modernize the punctuation of Chaucer, ¿why not also modernize the punctuation of Princess Luna?
You had my curiosity.
Now you have my attention.
3926693
*salutes*
Thank you, kind sir. I hope you enjoy your stay
Hm, interesting so far.
Also, Luna's speech was the latter half of The Moon Rises, the best Nightmare-Moon Song I've ever heard.
This seems pretty interesting, but I'm afraid that Luna's archaic dialogue is still pretty off, and it's bugging me. You might want to look up some resources on correct Elizabethan grammar. In particular you keep swapping thee for thou, and you use modern terms mixed in with the archaic ones. (There's at least one "your" that needs to be a "thy", and a "has" that really should be a "hath", and I only got a few paragraphs in. Do it one way or do it the other, don't mix them.) And you don't conjugate any of the words that go with the thees and thous. (You can't say "thou would" it's either "you would" or "thou wouldst", unless maybe you're a lolcat.) I know it's hard stuff, but I'm one of those who knows it too well to read it done wrong without cringing. You might find http://www.sonic.net/~wtallant/uo/speak5.htm to be useful, and http://alt-usage-english.org/pronoun_paradigms.html has a proper conjugation chart.
Alternately, there's no reason why Luna can't have picked up modern grammar, she would find it perfectly understandable, you and your were used in the Elizabethan period.
Hey, is that a 'The Moon Rises' reference? NICE! One of my favorites.