Applejack stared, bemused, at the alicorn princess as she stood with a grim look on her face, next to the grinning draconequus. “Can y’all run that by me again?”
Twilight Sparkle’s horn lit up as she levitated Discord’s wandering lion paw from where he’d rested it on her mane. “Discord is going to grant one wish –“
“Any wish,” Discord added. “With no traps, hitches, catches, hidden features, misinterpretations, or evasions.”
Twilight turned to glance at him, and opened her mouth to continue, but Discord interrupted her again. “Even one that’s not within my power.”
“Are you done?” Twilight snapped. “Or do you want to explain this yourself? Possibly with some sort of song and dance number?”
“Please calm down, Twilight,” Fluttershy said. She’d been teleported to the open field in the middle of feeding her chickens, and still had a bag of chicken feed strapped to her side. “I’m sure Discord didn’t mean any harm by it.”
Twilight laughed. It was not a happy laugh.
“All you have to do,” Discord said, reaching up with his eagle claw to stroke his tiny beard, “is kill Twilight Sparkle.”
“How is that not a catch?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“It’s more of a necessary precondition,” Twilight Sparkle said, scowling.
“So in other words,” Rarity said, still brushing her soaking wet mane, “you dragged us all out here for nothing. I’m sure none of us are going to sacrifice our dear friend Twilight just for some silly wish.”
“Me! Me me me!” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing up and down. The other ponies stared at her in shock. “I wish that all of us got a million billion quadrillion wishes and lived forever and ever and ever and Twilight Sparkle came back to life after we killed her. The end.”
“That, my dear, is not a wish,” Discord said, shaking his head sadly. “Not only did you wish for three separate things, but two of them were meta-wishes about the process of wishing itself. I’m afraid that sort of thing just won’t do.”
“Girls…” Twilight said, with a sigh. “I’m sorry, but you can’t make a wish that ends up with me not being dead. Like I said, it’s a necessary precondition. Specifically, it’s a necessary precondition of my wish. If I’m not dead by sundown…” she looked over at the setting sun.
“So you’re okay with this,” Rainbow Dash said. “With dying. Something you just had to wish for is soooo important that you’ll just up and abandon us, is that how it is?”
“No, I’m not okay with it!” Twilight Sparkle said, curling up and squeezing her eyes shut. “It just has to be done, okay?”
“No!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “That’s not okay! And this isn’t like you, giving up like that!”
“Well, I don’t care!” Twilight shouted. “It doesn’t matter if it’s like me or not, since there’s not going to be a me to be like anyway! Please, will one of you just get it over with!” None of the others moved. “I can’t do it myself, and Discord can’t do it either.”
“One of the Princess’s little failsafes,” Discord explained, rolling his eyes.
“If none of you will do it, we’ll have to bring in some random pony who won’t know me from Princess Platinum, and have them do it. But I’d rather…” she took a deep, shuddering breath. “I’d rather it be one of you. Especially since you can get a wish of your own out of it. One last thing I can do for my friends.” She looked up, and tried to smile, but the horrified looks on her friends faces quickly put a stop to that.
“Fine,” Applejack said. Walking slowly over to Twilight and looking down at her. Twilight gave her a short nod, and she turned to aim her bucking hooves at the alicorn’s head. “I wish I was a farmer. A real farmer, not just some pony play-acting with a bunch of fruit trees. I want a real orchard, that I take care of myself, or maybe with a few other ponies to help out. I want to be the one that feeds the whole dang town, so that nopony ever has to go hungry. Is that there a proper wish?”
Discord smiled widely, and slithered over alongside Applejack and ran one of his claws down her cheek. “Oh, it is, it is my dear Applejack. The only problem is… you already have all of that, don’t you, you silly pony?”
Applejack blinked. Her eyes swiveled up to take in the brim of her hat, and she scrunched up her nose. “Now what the hay?”
“Too bad, so sad,” Discord said, swatting the farm pony aside. He reared up and pressed his paw and claw together, grinning eagerly. “Anypony else have a wish?”
The other ponies looked at each other, until Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and spoke up.
“Rainbows,” Rainbow Dash said, flying over to get right in Discord’s face. “I want to be able to make rainbows. Not just rainbows, but clouds and lightning and giant tornadoes. Giant rainbow tornadoes. I want to be a pegasus who can control the weather and make rainbows whenever I want, and I want to fly so fast that I leave a rainbow trail wherever I go!”
“That’s an awful lot of ‘ands’,” Discord said, placing a finger on Rainbow Dash’s nose, and pushing her back, “but I suppose at its core it’s a single concept. There’s only one problem, isn’t there?”
Applejack limped back. “You already are all that, Rainbow. Why in Equestria would you go and wish for a bunch of stuff you already have?” She turned to look at Discord suspiciously. “What’s going on here, Discord?”
“Tut tut tut, losing contestants should be ejected from the scene, and not heard.” He snapped his claw, and a giant broom and dustpan appeared, sweeping up Rainbow Dash and Applejack and whisking them away. “Next?”
Rarity sighed, and got to her feet. She conjured a pair of scissors from somewhere, and separated them into a pair of razor sharp blades, one of which slid underneath Twilight Sparkle’s chin, ready to slice her throat. “Do I really have to do this?” she asked.
Twilight was frozen stiff from the feeling of sharp, cold metal pressed up against her neck. “Yes,” she said, trying to be brave. “Make your wish.”
Rarity took a deep breath. “I wish I was an elegant lady – an adult, who lived on her own and didn’t have to spend any more time studying or being bossed around by her parents. I’d have my own shop, where I’d make beautiful dresses all covered in glittering gems, that everypony would wear – I could sell them cheaply enough for ponies to buy, because of my spell for finding gems buried in every hill and field in the nation. And everypony would love me, and cry my name, when I brought out my dresses at the fashion shows…” She sighed wistfully.
She took a step back.
She dropped the scissors.
“BZZZZT,” said Discord. “What a strange happenstance. It seems that Lady Rarity has wished for something that she already had as well. It looks like none of your friends are going to be able to kill you after all, Twilight.”
“I think I see your game, Discord,” Twilight said. “Pinkie Pie! You have to wish for something blatantly untrue! Something impossible!”
“Yes, please do,” Discord said, scooping up Pinkie Pie and holding her up in front of Twilight. “I love a challenge!”
Pinkie Pie stared at nothing, all four hooves held out straight and rigid, her eyes unfocused. “I wish… I had… a cupcake?”
Twilight’s hoof smacked into her face.
“Infinity cupcakes!” Pinkie Pie quickly said, correcting herself. “And balls and eye patches and giant cannons that shot streamers and cakes and decorated a whole room in two seconds! Stashed all over Ponyville, just in case of emergency!”
Discord opened his mouth, but Pinkie Pie interrupted him. “And a pet alligator! With no teeth! And…”
Discord pinched Pinkie Pie’s mouth shut. She drooped in his grasp, and he set her down to slowly slink off on her own, defeated.
“I’m afraid that just leaves you, Fluttershy. Will you be the one to make your wish, and kill Twilight Sparkle?”
Fluttershy curled up, wings tightly folded to her sides, and made a soft squeak.
“Or will the sun set on this whole plan of hers, with nothing ventured and nothing gained. The clock is ticking!” Discord whipped out a giant cuckoo clock, which loudly ticked as its pendulum swung back and forth.
Fluttershy stayed curled up in a tight little ball, hooves over her ears, until she felt a gentle hoof stroking her back. She looked up, to see Twilight smiling down at her. “I know you have the strength,” Twilight said. “Please… do this for me.”
Fluttershy didn’t speak, but she stood up and hugged Twilight close, wrapping her forelegs around her friend’s shoulders. “Okay,” she whispered into Twilight’s ear, then shifted her grip and threw the purple alicorn to the ground, mounting her back with her rear hooves pressed against Twilight’s spine, and her forelegs in place around her neck. “I wish… that Discord… wasn’t such a BIG DUMB MEANIE!” she shouted, and with a deafening crack, broke Twilight Sparkle’s neck.
Her friend collapsed beneath her, twitching once then going limp. Twilight looked terrified and pained, her teeth gritted tightly together as her dead eyes stared at nothing. Fluttershy whimpered, and scampered back from the corpse – then squealed, and ran off.
“Tut tut tut,” said Discord, circling Twilight’s body. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy, but that was another meta-wish.” He looked down at the dead alicorn and sighed. “And I was so close. You win, Twilight Sparkle.”
And the sun set, and the moon rose, shepherded by the immortal Alicorns that watched over all of Equestria, in harmony and peace.
I'll be honest... I don't get it. I'm sure someone who does get it will be along in a minute.
Oh well! Upvotes for being well-written and such.
Well, this was interesting.
I don't get it. Still, interesting to read though.
3854117
3854102
Twilight made a wish, and was then told that her wish was granted, but she had to die before sunset to power the spell, or things would go back to the way before. Only, she didn't remember the way before, only the way things had now always been. But she knew what she said as her wish (among other things, it probably included the existence of Princess Celestia), and suspected that the way before was very, very bad.
You're supposed to guess this by Twilight saying that the main purpose of her dying is to power her own wish, and the way that the other characters' wishes turn out.
3854138 Ahhhh... I must have missed some element of it. I shall read it again.
When they were each wishing for what they already had, I knew something a bit odd was going on. I think what really threw me was that ending. I didn't expect it.
Wtf?
WHAT? Its whole premise was of Twilight's wish and what Discord wanted and ------ NOTHING!!!! GIVE US ANSWERS!!!!!!, please .
Well written though it was enjoyable up until the end that made no sense what so ever. It just made my head hurt
....twilight is still alive. broken necks a non fatal but disabling....... though fairly certain modern magical medicine would be able to heal even THAT
3854138
Even after reading that, I'm still not quite getting it. This is almost like the FiM version of Puella Magi Madoka Magica.
3854225 The last line was a paraphrase of Twilight's wish.
3854226 Fluttershy is a master and is able to break the neck at the C1 or C2 vertebrae with her bare hooves, just like in the movies.
3854359 That explains nothing I mean the sun and moon being sheperded must be by Celestia and Luna thats normal, they were already immortal alicorns and Equestria was already a place of peace and harmony. So I'm still confused as to what her wish was, maybe i'm just stupid but i dont see the answer
3854359 the movies don't make real life........... not to mention that is huma nvertebrate. a pony like tiwlight would likely have thciker and stronger, tp a point, bones and a compeltely alternate neck structure. not to mention they use their mouths and heads as manipulation tools to begin with.
I don't get it.
Wut..... I mean.... wut.
When it's something like that you can't simply imply it, for the risk of half your audience not getting it. Even reading your comments where you explained it it still just doesn't sound right. Not to mention the fact that I'd take my friend to a mental institute sooner than kill them in this situation. I mean, they have no idea what Twilight's wish was, and therefor had no real good reason to kill her. At all. Period.
Your plot is flawed at its very core, and while flat-out stating things in a story can often be jarring and break immersion, it's better than.... not knowing at all. Certain things should not be known, I get that, but the premise that the entire plot revolves around HAS to make itself known without the aid of comments after the fact.
Plot aside, it was beautifully written.
3854138 I... think I get it...
Still, what does Discord have to do with this? Why were her friends wishing for things they already had? Why do her friends get to make a wish too? When, where and why did Twilight even make that wish in the first place? And who granted it? Was it Discord? If so, why does she need to die? If Discord wanted her dead why was he so dissapointed at the end? And, Really, how were we supposed to guess all that?
It's a nice story and I liked reading it, but you need to explain just a little bit more.
Okay, I THINK I got it, and only because I THINK I got it I'll give it the UpVote and fave it, but really, the whole premise is very, VERY cryptic, and the resolution is only 1 sentence, but with no reactions from the Mane 6.
I absolutely, completely understand this story. I am not lying in the slightest.
3854502 are you actually questioning the realism of a story about colorful talking ponies? You can't summon a pair of scissors out of nowhere in real life either but you didn't say anything about it when Rarity did it.
I am so confused. Normally on a purposefully ambiguous story I would be able to at least tell what's happening on the physical level and a fair portion of what's happening on the Modernistic level. This leaves me more in the dark than The Things They Carried (basically Slaughterhouse 5 with truth/story based Modernism. If you haven't read either, lucky you.). I have two theories on this. 1: This is all an illusion Discord made on a bet with Twilight on how loyal her friends actually are and their wishes were a ploy to return to normalcy. 2: The Mane 6 were living an alternate reality where their wishes aren't what reality is until they wish that reality for themselves (EXs: RD isn't fast and might not even be able to fly. Rarity lives with her parents still and can't succeed with them ruling over her decisions in life. Fluttershy couldn't reform Discord and doesn't believe him to be nice. etc.) and their perception of history is changed to what we know without them realizing it. 3: All of the above.
To Fluttershy: So it goes.
P.S. before you comment on my mistake, remember that 2+2 does not only equal 5, but whatever it needs to be. (a cookie goes to all of you who caught both references and have read all three of those books. I expect you would need a bit of comfort)
3854502 Fluttershy practices chiropracty on grown bears. It would be safe to assume that ponies are much more fragile than what she has worked with. So it goes.
3857789 chropracty, not murdering bares with her littles hooves.
also we need to take into consideration tiwlight as an alicorn. not that alicorns cannot die, but that her bones are likely that of an earth pony now. and many believe the earth ponies toughness is of the supernatural persuasion too.
also taking into consideration that the ponies flourish in a world that, if it was humans rather than ponies, it owuld be a god damn Death World. these little beasts thrive in a world with fucking sand worms, giant magic bears, discord, and diamond tiara running all over the place with lightsabers and shit!
3857789 ........ i think my mind drifted into a Jontron quote for a moment there.
3854138
• Obviously something is off, since the rest of the Mane Six are wishing for things that they already have, but think that they don't. It's never made clear why they think that, especially since they each realize the fact when it's pointed out to them instead of being confused.
• There's no clue as to how this state of affairs came about. If what was "before" was bad, there's no indication of it in the story.
• S01E01-02 and S04E01-02 established that at least one of the royal sisters needs to be active for the Equestrian sun and moon to move (for the last thousand years or more, the tale of Hearth's Warming notwithstanding). Thus if the sun sets, then at least one of them is present and active. Q.E.D. So there's nothing in the story to imply that Celestia and Luna were absent, depriving the last line of its value.
Overall, the story is well-written, but too cryptic. If you want the reader to correctly guess the resolution of the story instead of showing it to him, you have to provide the necessary clues to clearly establish cause and effect—in hindsight, if not before.
Okay, I'm pretty sure I get it now.
The mane six are wishing for things they don't have, the wish is granted but it changes their history (Rarity wants to move out of her parents home, and the wish makes it so she already did) but since their past is changed by the time they made the wish it was pointless because they already had what they wanted. It's like a way for Discord to torture them in a way, they must make a wish and kill Twilight, but their wishes were already granted so it's Ike they killed her for nothing. That's what happened with twilight, the world was in chaos, so she wished for something that would keep equestria in harmony. The wish was granted in the form of the royal sisters, but in the past, so it was like it was always in harmony, and now she has to die so it won't change back (not that she remembers the other timeline because her movies were altered). It's like dies for nothing.
So basically it's just discord being cruel.
3858039 Yep. You get a gold star.
3858138 dude, this genius! You just need to make it a bit clearer, that's all.
Wow. This was a super cool story. And I get it!
3858366 Totally neeed to make this clearer but it is an amazing story.
3858138
people calling this cryptic needs to go read white out by the dobermans way more cryptic than this