"Mabye were just sleepwalking..." The playlist ended Poisonian rose from his lawn chair and decided to go for a walk down to get some grocries he grabbed his scarf his fedora and left his house. he was walking down the street humming his favorite song: Heretic By Avengend Ponyfold. He had finally reached the town square where it wasant too terribly busy but wasant too undercrowded either he procedied to walk into the organic veggie store and bought his list of food that he needed: celery, bread, kale, mushrooms, and an arrange of spices. he basically went in and went out when he looked to his left to look at a cute little bunny nibbling on a piece of grass. poisonian levitated a carrot into the rabbits hands and the rabbit ate it like well an animal as you might suspect. he looked back ahead and steped one foot in front of him when a teal pony knocked over him and his bags. He got up with a furiously mad red steaming face with literal steam comming out of his head he was about to tell off the mare but once he saw her face he turned back to his nonrmal shade of green. it all happend in slow motion he saw this beautiful mare in a brown fedora and glasses with a rainbow triangle necklace and blue bracelets. time sped back up and poison realised what had just happend "oh my gosh im so sorry its just i have to be at an art meeting and i was in a hurry and im just so so so so so sorry"
"no no its... its okay hey uh.. whats your name?"
"Oh its lyra lyra heartstrings"
"thats a beautiful..i mean georgous I MEAN GREAT name you got there.... ahehehe" Lyra giggled and they both procedded to pick up the grocries
"okay i think thats all of them" said Poisonian
"yeah... and hey im sorry again for bumping into you"
"oh no no its quite all right and hey it was a pleasure meeting you" Lyra procedded to walk away but poisonian stopped her
"Uh hey WAIT." He caught up to her "hey uh lyra ya know you seem kinda nice and i was wondering if you wanted to make it up to me in any way?"
"uh sure what is it?"
"Mabye we could get some coffee sometime tomorrow mabye say 10:30?"
"Sure but if you meant acuatlly drinking coffee im into that too." she winked and trotted off with a smile of a 12 year old filly who looked like she had just seen the most amazing pair of boots.Poisonian didnt notice this and turned around with quite possibly a record breaking smile on his face as he may not only get his dream girlfriend but a kinky one at that as he was very kinky himself he returned home and watched videos on his new laptop and fell asleep in his chair grocries put away and all he was a happy stallion.
This needs to be longer to keep the readers attention. Also to get more readers, because I usually see that very short stories don't get very much attention and is usually dislike. I just telling you.
3768314 well as i said it is my first story and i have only so many ideas pop into my head at once its hard to extend a story when you have all these other ideas you want to get out as well
Well, I love so keep doing your best!
3768327 I'm writing my own story that is my first. I don't have an editor and reread and rewrote most of it, but I know this because I read others people fic. Most fic I read help me when I wrote my chapters for The Stranded Four. I also notices that very shorts fics aren't very much liked. Either from it being very short or uninteresting. Only a very few of them, but that's rare. Look at other writers stories to give a good definition on how many words should be uses. The bare minimum is 1000, most tics keeps theirs around a thousand to two or three thousands. But some go beyond that number. I'm not saying your fic is bad it just needs a little improvement and then your golden.
Ich mag das , es ist sehr gut. Hoffe, dass sie mehr hinzufugen konnen.
3768517 oh, so sprechen Sie Deutsch wissen Sie, ich kann es sprechen auch sehr gut habe ich gelernt, es in meinem Sprachkurs
3768553 Ich nur ein Anfanger
3768634 Bei einer Rede in Deutsch?
3768683 I'm tired of speaking German and tired of translating. No I didn't mean that.