Universum der Ponys (Universe of the Ponies)

by Poisonian

Chapter 7: Who do you think you are?

"*YAAAAAAWN*" Poisonian yawned. "Oh man that was the best sleep i've had in a whileHOLY SHIT!" He had forgotten he had sex with Lyra the night before.
"Mmmm something the matter mr. tornado?"
"No a haha i just forgot that we had sex last night cause you know it was kinda my*ahem* first time" He blushed and turned his head in shame.
"Mhmhm its okay," She circled his chest with her hoof. "I'm a virgin too or should i say...hehe was" She giggled
"Ah haha but how come it didn't ya know...Pop?"
"Well sometimes it pops after sex and OH CELESTIA DAMMIT!" Lyra checked under her bed covers only to find a bloody mess near her pelvis.
"Ooooh thats not very good..."
"Oh fuck you think?"
"Here i'll help clean up."
"no...no its fine you probably have stuff to do."
"Acutaly i don't."
"Wait you don't have work?"
"Nope ever since my grandmother died of terminal pancreatic cancer I inherrited the 5 billion bits she saved up all her life."
"Oh my gosh i'm so sorry to hear that."
"Nah i try not to remind my self about it."
"Oh i see, well we better get to cleaning up this mess."
"You stay in bed ill get the towels."
"Okay" Lyra kissed him on the cheek. Poison only got up to reveal his um how do i put this gently in a way you guys will understand. His uh whip cream canister no no no...his uh fire hose? No no OH I GOT IT his penis hung from his body only making Lyra blushed at the sight of something that large fit inside of her. Poison went to the cabnit and grabbed some paper towels. He wetted them under the sink and proceeded to clean up the mess. He looked up to see Lyra with her vagina still wet from last night and a small bloodstain on it. "Hmm looks like something else needs cleaning"
"Oh like what?" Poison then proceeded to carefully rub the blood off of Lyra's wet pussy "Oh my poison mmmm please dont stop."

OKAY OKAY I'M GONNA STOP THERE I WANTED TO MAKE THIS STORY MORE INTERSTING BUT THIS IS NOT GOING TO END UP BEING A CLOP FIC SO FACK YOU HORSEFUCKERS

So after the mess was all *ahem* cleaned up Lyra decided to head out to hang out with her mare-friends for the day so Poison was left to do what ever he wanted for the rest of the now a virgin free pony he could do anything....That he could have done before BUT without virginity. So he decided to take a walk home. But then that's when he met 'Him' "OOOOHHHHH vodka how i love you so you make me drunk and i have sunk to the bottom of my bowels"
"Ugh could you be any louder?"
"Yes i can OOOOOOOH VODKA IS THE BEST FOR ME ITS THE HEALTHIEST FOR M-" Poison put his hoof over the Russians mouth.
"Mhmhmhfmhfmfh" The strong Russian forcefully put down Poison's hoof.
"Please don't be rude....Or i will snap your neck"
"Hmm you have self respect..I like that, and that accent is pretty cool too hey you wanna get some coffee?"
"Whoa is everyone-I MEAN PONY EVERY PONY in this town super nice?"
"I'm afraid so my friend."
"Where i come from we call our friends comrades."
"Oh i see...Comrade." The Russian stallion left out a hearty laugh.
"Hey you know what i kind of like you."
"Ha yeah your pretty cool too hey how's about we go get some coffee?"
"How about we get some vodka?"
"How about we get coffee Spiked with vodka?"
"HAHAHA I like the way you think comrade."
"So then lets head out." So the two decided to head to jaffe' bean to get some spiked vodka coffee. (seriously these guys will put anything in your coffee.) "Say uh, whats your name?"
"Oh mine? Well it is Nikolai Belenski."
"Cool, mine's Poisonian but you can just call me Ian"
"All right Ian." Their coffee eveuntally came and before you could say 'I'm more drunk than Geroge W. Bush on a taco tuesday in Saudi Arabia' they were buzzed...Just buzzed. "Hey b-bro you got any *Hiccup* other frieawdsns frewinds? i mean friends in this town? I'mmmmmmmhahahahahaha kinda new here."
"Yes i acuatlly have 3 more but you may err... Dislike one of them." Said Nikolai surprisingly sober
"No no its...it's cool i'm sure they're all pretty awesome."
"Alright comrade come with me" So the two got up but Poison stumbled to get up. After all this is tho only time he has drank alcohol besides whiskey. They evuentally reached the 935 residence.
"OH COMRADES I'M HOOOOME"
"Oh Nikolai your back how vunderbar." Said Richtofen sarcastically.
"Who the fuck is that? Your gay lover? BWHAHAHA!" Dempsy laughed hearitly.
"RUSSIAN HAVE NO HONOR!" Yelled Takeo. They were all just sitting around and relaxing. Takeo and Dempsy had convinced Richtofen that they should "wait" until a sutiable replacement for element 115 comes up for them.
"This is our new friend Poisonian!"
"Oh-fuckin'RAH... Another 'friend'." Said Dempsy laizly.
"Uhh i guess this is kind of an akward time should i come back later and get to know you all?"
"YES COME BACK LATER PLEASE!" Said Richtofen with great joy.
"Uhh okay so i guess i'll see you all later."
"Good bye friend of dishonorable Russian." Poisonian decided to head back to his house, good thing these ponies lived close to each other too.
"Did you guys notice ze Glow in eyes?"
"No..."
"I didn't see a thing."
"Dishonor."
"Well when a living being has the glow in their eyes it means they heave 115 in zeir blood!"
"So that means we'll be able to go home? Like back to good Russian Vodka?"
"YEZ NIKOLAI AHAHAHAH BACK TO KILLING UNT ZE BLOOD UNT MY PLAN TO...erm save, yeah save the universe unt se earth." Takeo and Dempsy galnced a worried look at each other.

END OF CHAPTER

Author's Note:

Okay so one of my better chapters and you guys are lucky your gonna get a chapter early i got off of school early today HOORAY!

Comments

[Dubious]

3785473 If you complete the Origins Easter Egg a certain way, it all turns out to be two children playing with toys, one called Eddie, the other Samantha. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the Zombies timeline in a nutshell.

[Equestrian Ghost]

3785506
I deduce that Eddie is Richtofen, and the timelines can be altered after the whole nutshell incident. Besides, as long as the characters keep their attitudes I'm fine.

[Poisonian]

3785506 well im glad you pointed that out because samatha created that universe TOO this is because she may be an all mighty powerful being but she needs a proto god if anything else fails

[Poisonian]

3789399 That feel when your 80$ in debt to your parents just to pay for all the DLC only to lose the one flash drive its all stored on. oh and chapter 7 is out halfway

[Poisonian]

3786812 yes eddie is Richtofen and the next zombies game will either take place in the universe with sam and eddie or right after origins since it is a new timeline. its at least not as confusing as the legend of zelda time line.