Universum der Ponys (Universe of the Ponies)

by Poisonian

Chapter 4: Why are they staring at us?

"MY VODKA WHERE IS IT I NEED MY VODKA I NEED IT ALL ALL MINE!" Nikolai screamed in the middle of the dirt road as ponies stared at him "I NEED MY VODKA IT IS MY BABY WHERE IS IT!" Most ponies ignored him as they thought it was a want for attention but a couple of snoody ponies were disgusted and one even spat on his hooves. Now remember kids in Russia spitting on someones feet/shoes is more disrespectful than being an american and doing the nazi salute to an american flag at a jewish baseball game. Yeah its that bad. Anyways back to the story: Nikolai stopped all his ranting screaming and crying and looked the snoody pony straight in the face. "Hey PAL What was that FOR?!?"
"You need to learn some manners you bum you shouldnt beg for things when your poor especi-GAK" Nikolai grapped the pony by the throat and held him up in mid air choking the pony. "I will give you one chance to apologize to what you have done to me and insulting the poverty of the people of my country whom i joined the army to protect and serve them now APOLOGIZE!"
"GAK-Okay o-okay" Nikolai set him down
"Kiss my hooves"
"o-okay" the rich pony kissed his hooves and apologized
"Now that wasant so hard was it?"
"N-no" Nikolai gave him a STRONG Russian bear hug and whispered in his ear "Now go buy me some vodka before i snap your neck..."
"yes sir..." The rich pony ran off to the nearest liqor store Nikolai stood there proudly with his friends amazed at how strong and serious sober noklai was because well he never was sober so this was like a whole new person...er pony to them
Now on the other hoof there was a crowd of ponies gathered around nikolai and gawked at how violent he was. and this was mainly because the only violent things to happen in equestria was the attack on the crystal empire and canterlot.
Group 935 trotted off into the home areas and as Richtofen stated he knew alot about equestria so he took the jewels he sole or er rathat "found" off the corpses of the rich in the Untoten. Richtofen bought a house in silver lake and planned on making a teleporter back home to their own world but there was one problemo... There was no element 115 in equestria...except for one zombie that made it through the teleportation and one bite could mean the end of all pon-oh wait nope it just died out nope nope equestria is safe for another day. okay back to the story: so at this point richtofen and the gang have bought a house at silver lake and plan on finding an element that is powerful enough to power a teleporter. so in order to pass the time richtofen has told group 935 to explore equestria and see if it was as good as the bronies said it was.

We will start out with dempsy:

The 40 year old bad ass american was tired lonley and sad he usually only felt these things when he was alone his wife and daughter were probably already dead and takeo was his only true friend in this world but then he saw her. That purple pony working in the school house richtofen only mentioned her as a "backround character" but once dempsy saw her for some reason he was captivated in this ponies beauty. he approached her and attempted his "american cassanova" style of captivating wemon.
"Oh why hello," Said cherreliee "and who might you be?
"My name is tank...Tank Dempsy"
"oh what an interesting name my name is cherrilee"
"Hey ive been meaning to ask you cherreliee"
"Yes Tank?" She said with adoring eyes she seemed to admire the strong muscular pony.
Remember kids always use this pick up line
"Are you an angel because 10 minunites ago i thought i was in hell and now i think im in heaven." Cherreliee couldnt stand it anymore she just straight up kissed Dempsy and said "Nopony has ever spoken to me that way or flirted with me or even hit on me in taking you home now" All tank could do it do a cartoony smile and get dragged by cherrliee.

Author's Note:

ok i think this chapter went pretty well and im getting a decent amount of readers i think i got something going here

Comments

[Poisonian]

3768700 oh i see but to anyone whos wondering chapter 4 is out and its longet than the others

[Equestrian Ghost]

3768762
Bring us more of the good stuff or I'll get as agressive as Nikolai without vodka.

[Sup3r N0va]

This is a good shitpost story.

Not much else than that.