The Blessing and the Curse

by Equestria Buck Yeah

Chapter 14

"Ohhh, what do I want, what do I want?" Matt asked himself as he anxiously slapped his hands against the counter. He had practically forgotten how a nice, greasy burger could taste even if it wasn't one that people would have ever exactly called quality. "Uhhh, I'll take a Quarter Cheese meal, large, with a Pepper to drink. I don't need any ice in that. Oh, you know what? Throw in a six-piece too, couple barbecue sauces."

He reached into his pocket and grabbed his wallet, expecting his total. What he got was the employee still staring at his six friends. Matt had suspected before their journey began that people might be a bit taken aback if they happened to bump into the mares at some point, but it still irked him anyway. True, he had been dealing with ponies on a day to day basis for a while now and knew they were harmless. Plus, they hadn't really doing anything that out of the ordinary – save for the flying and magic, of course. Surely with all the things people had seen in movies and television, this shouldn't be that big a deal, right?

It figures that the first bit of human interaction he had with anyone in a year and a half made him groan under his breath.

Rolling his eyes, he waved a hand in the employee's view, managing to briefly snap Lakretia to her senses. "Wh-wha?"

"You got that, yeah?"

"I-I'm sorry, c-could you repeat that?"

His shoulders ever so slightly fell as he managed to keep his growing irritation under control. "Quarter Cheese meal, large. Dr. Pepper, no ice. Six piece with barbecue." He turned to the girls. "Any of you want anything?"

After a moment of studying the board, Twilight spoke up. "Is this a fast food restaurant? The menu layout reminds me of 'Hayburger's'."

"Yeah, actually. Well, these are hamburgers, but yeah, same thing."

"Ah, okay." The unicorn glanced at the pictures over the staff's head and bopped herself on the head. "Oh, meat. I guess the fish and the chicken things up there should have tipped me off right away. Do they have anything for vegetarians?"

"Salads, but I never heard good things about them," he answered, quickly checking the surrounding court. "If you want, we can probably find some–oh, hey, a Sbarro's! They've got pasta and pizza and stuff. I think you'll like them."

"Matt, darling," Rarity interrupted, "how exactly are you going to pay for all this?"

"I do still have a little money left in my wallet here." He turned back to the still-stunned employee. "How much?"

"Th-that'll be $8.79."

Smiling confidently, Matt opened the flap and, in an instant, his joy promptly evaporated. All that stared back at him was four singles – the same four that had been with him since he first fell into Equestria. Dammit!

Wait! A slender piece of grey stuck out from its sleeve. "You take plastic?" he nervously asked. Lakretia responded with an extended hand, forcing a quiet sigh of relief from his lungs.

As he worked the debit card from its housing, he paused as a realization suddenly came to him. The confident smirk found his face and he happily handed her his card. Beside the register sat an old manual credit card imprinter. He wanted to smack himself for not noticing it before as the employee took it and arranged the carbon paper and the card into place.

With a quick swipe, Matt was rung up and he signed their receipt. After receiving his card back, he and the girls – and the large plastic bag – moved to the side to let the next, reluctant customer go. As they waited patiently for the food, scanning their surroundings and trying to remain calm and collected in front of the hundreds of stares, Matt glanced over to person who had been behind him.

"S'okay, you can go. Oh, thanks for letting me go ahead of you, that was really cool. You didn't have to do that."

A few skittish but grateful equine smiles gave him the courage to do so though he had a hard time facing Lakretia to give her his order.

After a couple minutes, everything was laid out on his serving tray and the group casually made their way to the Italian restaurant across the courtyard, the crowds parting like the Red Sea as they walked. Just about all of the young children were more fascinated than anything, unlike their folks.

They rounded a corner. Matt set his tray on a nearby outer table and stuffed the pillow bag underneath, mentally noting what the girls wanted. Seeing the pictures of the pizza Matt spoke of made Rainbow Dash's and Pinkie Pie's decisions easy. Twilight decided on some spaghetti, but Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack didn't really have any specific ideas, so Matt decided to surprise them.

"Alright, stay here. I don't think anyone's going to bother you, but I want to be able to see you from the counter just in case," he instructed as they sat down. As their saddlebags came off, A.J.'s tied-up shovel hit the floor with a loud 'klang!', making her shrink in embarrassment. "Twilight, why don't you come with me? I'm probably going to need some help carrying all the trays."

"Sure."

Whether they'd admit it or not, having Matt close by in the sea of people had put them at ease. Despite him walking maybe fifty feet away, their nerves started to get the better of them. Applejack mostly kept glancing over at their guide while tapping her hooves on the table. Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and even the normally social Pinkie were more than a little uncomfortable thanks to all the faces staring at them. Fluttershy had balled herself up in the chair between Rarity and Pinkie and was barely peeking out over the table. Matt was completely right from the get go – this kind of attention they could have lived without.

Several agonizing minutes went by before the two had started making their way back to the table, four trays in tow. Aside from a pair of slices of Sicilian pizza and Twilight's spaghetti, they had with them some ziti for Fluttershy, a vegetable stromboli for Applejack and a garden salad for Rarity. He wasn't sure what to get them for drinks, so he asked for a few Pepsis, a couple 7-Ups – one being for Pinkie as he thought she'd like the way it'd tickle her nose – and a painfully average iced tea for the posh mare.

Finally finished distributing the food, Matt took a seat between Applejack and Pinkie with Twilight sitting at the end of the table. There wasn't much room, but they made do. A craving he hadn't felt in so, so long took hold of Matt as he unwrapped the burger. Just as he was about to sink his teeth in, however...

"Alright, Matt, now tell us," Rarity said, making the poor man's shoulders sink, "how exactly did you pay for all this?"

With a deep, anger-soothing breath, he explained, "You remember by any chance how I told you guys how those plastic cards worked?"

Their hemming and hawing answered the question for him.

"Okay, usually, I give them the card, they swipe it and the store basically talks to the bank."

"You mean like how your phone thing works?" Rainbow interrupted.

"Ehhh, yeah, kind of. It's complicated, but that's sort of how it works. They ask the bank if I have enough money to pay for what I'm buying. If I do, the bank gives them the 'okay', I get rung up, the end. If I don't, they don't. Sometimes they pay anyway, but I get fined. Anyway, check this out," he whispered with a sly grin, "you saw that thing the girl used?" He mimicked the back and forth motion for them for emphasis. "They do that when they can't talk to the bank right away, but they'd put the card number into their machines by hand later on once they can. Two things though. One, there's no connection to the banks right now. Whether or not they've shown up, I don't know, but even if they have, the connection itself wasn't there, so they're going to probably be sitting on that all day. And two, and this is the best part, even if that connection happens at some point after we're long gone, remember, I've probably been declared dead back home!"

"Wait a minute," Applejack interjected. "Are you saying you stole–"

"Shhhhhh! But yeah, it came to me back there, so I figured why not?"

His cocky smile said it all. Her disappointed glare did too.

"What? I, err, borrowed that Blazer and it got us here, right? We gotta do what we gotta do. You seriously going to tell me you've never done something a little underhanded to accomplish a goal? Trust me, when these people realize what's happened, they're not going to be concerned about a few lost dollars," Matt argued with a smirk.

"What makes you think they haven't yet?" Fluttershy asked between bites.

"I'm sure the people out in the department stores by the front doors probably have, but I haven't seen any windows or exits here in the mall yet. They probably think we're the ones who showed up out of nowhere and not the other way around." He glanced around the table to see his friends munching away on their Italian food. "You guys like what you got?"

One by one, they gave their approval, some more graciously than others.

"Rainbow Dash, don't talk with your mouth full! Where are you manners?" Rarity scolded.

"Hey, this is good! Leave me alone," she fired back, diving back into her fluffy slice.

Finally with a moment's worth of peace, Matt brought the burger back up to his waiting mouth and took a hearty bite. However, as the flavor set in, his expectations seemed to dip until all that was left was disappointment.

"What is it? Don't you like it?" Applejack queried.

"Yeah, it's alright, I'll be able to finish, but...it's...not how I remember."

"Maybe they've changed how they make it since you've been gone?"

"Maybe?" he replied, shrugging.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you simply got used to not having them, resulting in you not liking them as much as did at one time," Twilight suggested. "It has been quite a while since you ate anything like that, y'know."

"Yeah, that's true," he grumbled. With a curl of his lips, he continued, "Guess I'll just have to remember then!" With that, he took a few more bites. Eh, he'll live.

Smiling sympathetically, A.J. rubbed his back and continued eating. He showed his appreciation for her concern by pulling her hat over her eyes once again. She chuckled at his seemingly favorite pastime and smiled at him once she could see again. Rarity giggled to herself upon seeing the affectionate display too.

Still, it had to be one heck of a bummer for him. In a roundabout way, Matt was given an unexpected gift, even if it was something simple like a meal he used to enjoy, and it had to blow up in his face. She wished she could do something to make him feel better.

He gulped down what he had in his mouth, a question on his mind. "Any of you want some fries? They're made from potatoes. Nice, greasy, salty potatoes."

"I'm okay, thanks," Fluttershy responded.

"Thank you, dear, but I'm afraid I must pass. A girl's got to watch her figure, y'know."

"Ehh, let me try a couple," Twilight said, floating a few over.

"Sure, why not?" Rainbow replied, receiving a few on her paper plate.

"Heck yeah! I'll make a fry pizza, hehe!"

"Errr...shucks, I already know what a potato tastes like," Applejack said, her eyes shifting about as she played out a sudden, fresh idea. "If it's alright with you, um...could I...I dunno, try a bit of that burger of yours?"

Matt stopped mid-bite and stared at her, more than a bit surprised. On her face was the most sincere grin she could muster. She shifted her gaze around the table to see everypony eying her curiously with Rarity being the most suspicious. Was Applejack seriously doing what she thought she was doing?

"Really?" Matt asked.

"Sure! I-I mean, why not? Nothing wrong with doing something a little out of the ordinary, right?"

He wiggled the sandwich in her direction. "Just kind of surprised you'd be up for it cuz this is basically Daisy Jo here and these–" He showed her a nugget. "–are, uh...umm...Flutters, what's the name of that one chicken you like so much?"

"...Elizabeak?"

"Yeah, that's the one. These are Elizabeak. After Flutters, I'd figure you'd be the last person to want to try this."

"Just give me some before I change my mind," the cowgirl insisted, her discomfort having increased with his poetic descriptions.

"Well, alright, if you want." He picked off a small bit of his Quarter Pounder and dropped it on her plate soon followed by a tiny bit of chicken nugget. Didn't want to risk making her too sick if it didn't agree with her.

The mare scooped the chunk of 'beef' off her plate and studied it briefly. Her stomach started to knot as what she was about to do sank in, but there was no going back. Not to her, at least. But she could handle this – she knew it! Gulping down her fears, she tossed the bit into her mouth.

She downed the meat after a few quick chews. The rest of the table sat curious and patiently for what she thought. After a brief pause, Applejack shrugged.

"S'okay, I guess."

"Well, alright!" Matt said, nudging her for good measure.

Smiling back, A.J. snatched the chicken and gobbled it up without the same apprehension as before. She smacked her lips once it was down her throat. "Wasn't bad. I mean, I don't think I'll be making it for dinner anytime soon, heh. But, yeah, they were okay."

"Eh, even if the cows didn't talk, I wouldn't know where to begin with all that anyway," Matt added, scarfing down a sauce-covered nugget. "Plus, I...don't think I could get started. I've seen what the whole process is like on video before. Most I know how to do is light up the grill and throw it on for a little while. Either way, glad you tried it!"

A grumble came from the across the table. "Ugh, let me have a piece too," Rainbow groaned.

"Uh...okay, yeah, sure." Two small chunks were dropped on her plate. Her friends eyed her questioningly.

The high flier folded her forelimbs against her chest. "What? I'm not going to let Applejack be the only one to do something a little daring around here."

Several rolled eyes were what she got, but that didn't deter her. First was the burger and then the chicken quickly after. Once she finished, Rainbow sat there staring blankly as she made up her mind. "Yeah...nothing special."

"Uh, so, Matt," Twilight chimed in after a slurp of spaghetti, "I was, err, kind of wondering if, after we finish eating, we might be able to take a look in that bookstore over there?" His arms went limp and slammed on the table. Despite his extremely unamused stare, the bookworm persisted. "Listen, I know we have to continue north, but I'd love to take a look at some of the things your species has written. Heck, I'd love to see bits and pieces of your history if we could take a few minutes. I...I just may never get this kind of opportunity again."

He wasn't budging.

"Please? You let Rarity look around the jewelry store. I just thought maybe–"

"I beg your pardon, but my horn dragged me over there, thank you very much," the dressmaker rebutted.

"But he still let you look!"

Rarity narrowed her eyes but said nothing, instead floating her iced tea up to her snout and taking a drink with her straw. Wasn't going to be any point in trying to argue with her. Plus, Matt's defenses had started to crumble when he let out a long sigh.

"Wh-what about when we let you listen to some of your music instead of rushing us over to that house, hm? I'd say it's only fair we get to check some things out around here," Twilight argued with a firm nod.

"Okay, fine," Matt growled. "Can we please just not take too long in there?"

"I won't. I promise."

-----

For the fourth time, Twilight glanced at the book's cover and then flipped it over to skim the summary on the back. Matt and Applejack stood beside the 'Best Seller' shelf waiting impatiently for the unicorn to move onto something else though Matt was more concerned that no one noticed where he was standing. He much preferred...well, anywhere else. He'd have his dignity then.

At least he hadn't heard any of the others crying for help or getting into a scuffle with anyone. Like before, people were keeping their distance and snapping pictures. He didn't want to have the girls get separated, but they assured him they wouldn't stray too far. Twilight managed to convince him to stay close to her in case she might stumble upon a book or two that he may know something about, such as the one in front of her.

Eventually, Twilight stopped rereading the back and stared, baffled, at the apple on the front of the glossy black cover. "I don't get it."

"Clearly, they're saying you and A.J. should hook up. Please put it down," Matt mumbled.

The mares didn't appreciate his wisecrack as much as he'd hoped.

"I'm sure you can understand why I was curious about this book," Twilight shot back.

"Doesn't change the fact that only people with absolutely no taste like it."

"Is it really that bad?" A.J. asked.

"Let me put it this way. If you somehow managed to convince me to buy it for you – and you won't – it'd be more useful as...I don't know, kindling or something, unless you like the idea of having your brains leak out of your head as you read it."

The nerdy mare gasped in horror, holding the novel close. "I don't care how bad you claim it is, I would never let you burn it."

"Though, regardless if we find a new car or not later, we may need the firewood tonight anyway," he rambled on, ignoring her chastising.

She lightly bopped him on the head with said book. "No!"

A sky-blue head peaked out from a nearby aisle. "Uh, you guys okay over here?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just that you were getting a little loud." Rainbow glanced at the book Twilight was valiantly defending. "Find something interesting?"

"Interesting, no. Awful, yes," Matt quipped. "Hey, what was the name of that author who wrote those books that you like so much? Um...Daring Do, right?"

"Oh, you mean A.K. Yearling?"

"Yeah, what do you say we mail one of those off to her as a cruel prank so she can cry herself to sleep every night after reading, like, one chapter?" A facetious grin stretched across his cheeks.

"Why would she do that?"

"You know how you say those Daring Do books are, like, the best thing ever?"

"Yeah...?"

"These are the exact opposite of that."

The pegasus blinked at his suggestion. "That's the worst idea I've ever heard." She flew up and met him snout to nose, threateningly tapping him on the chest. "Ever."

Matt simply laughed her off. His laughs didn't last long once Twilight replaced the book and dragged him away by his ear. "Ow! Hey!"

Satisfied with a spot a few aisles away from the butt of Matt's terrible jokes, the studious mare released him and resumed her search across hundreds and hundreds of spines for something – anything – else to peak her interest. But where to begin?! Does she track down science books first? History? Religion? The possibilities were endless!

Unfortunately, her decision would have wait. A few minutes had passed when they heard a familiar giggle coming from not much further into the bookstore and went to investigate. Fluttershy and Rarity arrived barely a step behind them, coming out of whatever corner they were hiding. It seemed that a certain pink pony had found a new plaything.

"Is that staircase moving?" Twilight asked.

It didn't surprise Matt that she and the others noticed that before she saw Pinkie slowly cartwheeling in place as the stairs climbed.

"Yeah, it's an escalator." He brought his hands to his hips and held in a chortle. "Having fun, Pinkie?"

Her musical laughter gave him his answer.

"Come on, get off of that. You're gonna get hurt."

"Awww, okay." Matt barely had time to drop their pillow bag in order to catch Pinkie as she suddenly leapt at him.

"Can we go look around upstairs?" the bookworm gleefully asked.

"I'd honestly prefer if we didn't. We've been here a while as it is. Plus, I don't want to see this happen when we get to the top."

Setting Pinkie down, he took a single strand of her tail and plucked it out as gently as he could. It made her jump but she'd be fine. The girls followed him to the downward escalator to watch in terror as he fed the hair under the floor. Rarity protectively pulled her elegant tail to her chest, imagining with dread how disastrous something as simple as going upstairs could turn out.

"H-how often does that happen?" Fluttershy whimpered.

"Not terribly, buuuut..." They got the hint with his nod at Pinkie's poofy tail.

"Err, yeah, let's...let's move on," Twilight meekly suggested.

"Look," Matt groaned, "if we ultimately can't fix what's going on and we end up coming across another place like this at some point, I'll help you find some things to read about us. Deal?"

"Heh, okay, deal." On their way toward the door, however, the inquisitive young mare came to a stop once again, snatching a book off a shelf. "Oooo!"

"Ugh..."

-----

Matt had been worried for a little while if he would have to resort to forcefully dragging Twilight out by her tail and hoping she didn't just blink away anyway. Maybe he could have just tossed her into the bag with the pillows and went from there. Thankfully, logic was always the best trump card to use when arguing with her, and the fact that the tinted windows high over their heads were dimming more and more as they dawdled convinced her that they did need to get going. If they happened to luck out and find a vehicle they could...borrow outside, having daylight to drive by would be nice.

While the light outside was no longer terribly bright, a store on the right was lit up like a Christmas tree, and Matt himself was more interested in it than anyone. He was well aware of what kinds of things were inside, and he would have loved to go in and see them again after so long, but they had to...

Hold on. There may have actually been a reason to stop this time. Pausing mid-stride, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his iPhone. Starting it up, he noted the battery strength – 3%. Just what he was afraid of. Surely the Apple Store in front of them had what he needed.

The girls came to a halt as he turned and made a beeline for the entrance. "Hey, where are ya goin'?" A.J. called out.

He spun around and displayed the phone to her, walking backwards as he addressed the question. "I might be able to get a charger for this thing."

"What do you need that for?"

"If I actually manage to get a hold of someone, I want to be able to, y'know, talk to them before this thing dies after two minutes."

His next stepped somehow missed the floor, but the purple glow around told him what was going on. Twilight turned him around as he floated in the air. "So, it's okay for you to go shopping for something, but if we want to look around for ourselves, you get all in a tizzy?"

"I'm trying to move us along so we can get out of here before it gets dark. I don't want to be spending the night sleeping a mall. Plus, I know exactly what I need. I'm not going to be more than, like, five minutes."

The librarian shot him a deadpan glare. After a moment, she set him down. "If it's any more than five minutes, Matt..." A gentle tug on his ear got the message across.

"I got it, I got it. Come on, I'll show you how a man shops."

With smirks abound, they followed a few steps behind him.

Comments

[Mother3Forever]

"I got it, I got it. Come on, I'll show you how a man shops."

BY COLORS!!!!

[Tom ruler of the stones]

This looks good! That means it must be good, well, that's how I shop anyway. Doesn't always turn out so well. Bloody sharknado.

[lumberjack]

4624405
DOES iT FIT ME???
DOES IT SUIT MY BASIC NEEDS???
I'M SOLD!!!

[Markuma]

I love this story!

[Adjier]

Want to see even more AJ interactions with Matt. She is so cute.

This is a delight. Keep it up you.
~Adjier

[SamMaherGamer]

4625823 Does it look cool, taste good or sound epic?

If not, you are NOT a Manly Shopper.

[Orthoros]

In and out, keep human contact to a minimum, get exactly what you want and nohing else, don't get distracted.

[Equestria Buck Yeah]

4632633 Heh, I'm glad someone noticed her really ridiculous attempts to win some brownie points. I'm a bit surprised no one's commented on Pinkie messing around on the escalator, but considering what she's like, I guess that wouldn't surprise anyone. I had originally wanted to include Matt mentioning something he once saw in a video about someone doing the escalator spin and her pretty much instantly duplicating it...before falling flat on her face. But eh, would have probably taken a bit more set-up than needed.

[shiftylookingcow]

Oh mother of God... THAT book...

[Silentwoodfire]

One of the few instances where electricity seemed to come along for the ride, intriguing

[Grabnock]

5231008 Nah, Malls usually have a backup generator. A few chapters back Matt noticed it suddenly come on. It won't last long until it runs out of fuel.

[Therisinghero]

ah the mall's power of persuasion was too powerful for the main 6
this is a good chapter