Twilight and her five friends decide to spend a night together in her house in a sleep over and of course the book worm naturally pulls out her sleep over book to make sure it turns out to be the second best sleep over ever!
4672584 I do as well. I'd also like to see more resolution on the whole Rarity/Spike thing. Twilight asked her what happened last time they went gem hunting, so it's possible that that was only a day or two ago. Meaning it's als opossible that Spike and Rarity haven't even spoken again since then. I really think this needs exploring at some point, including him getting a talking to about how to treat mares. Just saying.
I'm unsure where to even start with Rarity and Spike. The freaky D&S* relationship? The fact that he's desperately underage by dragon standards and pretty underage by pony standards? That she enjoyed Spike's attentions? And how the hell is Twilight, Princess, going to deal with the fact that they might have technically raped each other?
"She could have easily used her magic to get the upper-hoof from the moment Spike began to force himself on her yet she hadn't. Or maybe somewhere deep inside she had hoped Spike would take charge like he had."
Does that qualify it as statutory rape? Or rape period? I'm so confused!
And will Spike get the chance to defend himself by yelling "You! I learned it from watching you! I learned about raping ponies from watching you rape Shining Armor every night, ok?"
*For anyone offended, I'm fine with that lifestyle. It's just this particular relationship thats
4673190 Well, to be honest, I don't thik Spike is underage. Twilight hatched him when she was applying for school, say age five. She's clearly in her twenties now, so I reckon Spike could easily be eighteen. Twilight even eluded to this in the story. As for whether or not he raped her, I don't think so. He knew she'd end up liking it and as such was actually helping her live out her fantasy. The part that bothered me is that he just up and left her, didn't even say goodbye. He may have thought that it would add the the whole 'being used' fantasy, but it still wasn't cool. As I said, it's possible they haven't even spoken since then, so he could still make up for it. I know it may seem hypocritical of Twilight to say anything about it but it's not the 'rape' that Spike needs to be corrected on, it's how to treat a mare after the fantasy is over. As for Twilight raping Shining Armor. Yes, she did technically rape him, but he wasn't aware of it (until that time in the story, as far as we know he wasn't aware of it all the other times), it's still rather wrong but in the end he didn't seem to mind.
Pregnancy! Pregnancy for everypony! Twilight/Shining! Mac/Rainbow! Fluttershy/Discord! Applejack and.. Bloomburg! Literal Apple Ponies! Rarity and Spike and the Diamond dogs!
Yes! Rarity will lay eggs and have puppies AT THE SAME TIME!
Well... If you think about it, Fluttershy was acting the same way during her flashback, she hit discord then almost immediately went to.... well yeah. [x] Most likely on heat [x] Semen in.. area The problem is, it was
oh come on it's no secret we all know it. fluttershy forgot the cookies in the oven. why else would she be so upset and moody. it's not like she has kids hehe
4673485 Well, in my opinion, Spike is an adult in pony terms. Since he was raised by ponies I think his maturity would be about the same as a pony his age. Therefore it's fine for him to have sex, in my opinion anyway. I hope they do make a regular thing of it, but that doesn't really address how thye feel about eachother. Will they start a romantic relationship or will they just be friends with benefits. Also, I doubt dragon or dog DNA is compatible with ponies, even in a land of magic.
Why people complain about Twilight not telling her story? Wasnt the one with her brother her dirty secret? Only Applejack and Discord didnt described any story at this point
4672584 Well, Twilight is the only one who actually committed a crime with her sex act. Non-consensual sex (from her perspective, at least) is kind of a no-no. Rape + Incest + Being quasi-famous = Scandal of EPIC PROPORTIONS.
WARNING! Major chapter nine spoilers! The story is over, however, so it should be fine.
The first sentence. Never a good sign.
After the game of shoots and ladders ended, the six along with Discord went to sleep.
This should be capitalized and it is spelled "Chutes."
The draconequus sat up and stretched his limps in a lazy fashion, making no attempt at all to be careful as his tail managed to slap a certain Alicorn awake.
"Limbs."
“She went to the restroom up-chucking I believe..."
There should be commas between "restroom" and "up," and "chucking" and "I."
Twilight began to say only for her brain to fully register the draconequus's words mid-sentence.
The s after the apostrophe is superfluous. When making a non-proper noun that ends with an s possessive, it just needs an apostrophe.
The 1.)draconequus loudness was enough to wake the rest of the mares in the room 2.)whom yawned as they woke. It seemed that every mare in the room 3.)aside from Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie 4.)Pie suffered from a painful hang-over as a result of last night's drinking.
1.) There should be an apostrophe at the end here, this is a possessive for a non-proper noun with an s at the end. 2.) The Who/He Whom/Him rule applies here. This should be "who." 3.) So, just half of the mares in the room. Well, since Fluttershy is not in the room at the moment, less than half of the mares in the room have hangovers. 4.) There should be a comma between these words.
Fluttershy came walking into the main room of the library a few minutes later after Discord's outburst looking a little 1.)worse for ware. “M-2A.)Morning everypony3.).” She said softly. It was one of the few times the suffering mares were happy for the 4.)Pegasus's soft voiced demeanor.
“5A.)2B.)b]Mornin Fluttershy.” The farm pony 2C.)greeted only to take a harder look at the mare. “You okay 2D.)thar surgarcube? Yer 5B.)lookin a tad under the weather6.).” she added with a mildly concerned expression.
1.) The phrase is "worse for wear." 2ABCD.) These word pairs all need commas. 3.) The period should be a comma and "she" should be lowercase. 4.) The s after the apostrophe is superfluous. 5AB.) The words from which you dropped the g's need apostrophes at the end. 6.) The period should be a comma or "she" should be capitalized.
My stomach doesn't seem to like your cider though it seems.
Missing comma.
“Ah'm amazed yer the only one whose paid a visit to the restroom this mornin to be honest.”
Missing apostrophe and comma.
“Ya may not have lost yer 1.)lunch but Ah reckon ya lost yer sense of direction 2.)speakin as ya just landed on yer head.”
1.) Missing comma. 2.) This is not even the correct word, never mind the fact that you left out the apostrophe. The word that should be here is "seeing," but seeing as how you will leave off the g it should end up being "seein'."
“Shove an apple in 1.)it A-J.” The 2.)Pegasus's muffled voice snapped back before she regained her composure and sat down on her sleeping bag.
1.) Missing comma. 2.) The s after the apostrophe is superfluous.
Right Rarity?!Missing comma. Oddly enough, I am okay with interrobangs.
“Hurmmk!” she managed to blurt out before she slammed a hoof over her mouth and a blur of white sailed past the party mare to the restroom and door slamming behind the mare.
This should either be "restroom and the door slammed" or "restroom, the door slamming."
“Some game huh?”
Missing comma.
"...I don't know about everypony else but I would be happy if we pretended it never happened.”
Missing comma.
“Easier said than 1.)done Rarity...” Applejack replied as she 2.)gave a saddened expression at Rainbow Dash 3.)whom seemed to be unaware of the farm pony's gaze on her.
1.) Missing comma. 2.) "Gave' should be "cast" or "at" should be "to." 3.) The Who/He Whom/Him rule applies here. This should be "who."
“Especially since he's here.” she added with a hint of resentment in her voice.
The period should be a comma or "she" should be capitalized.
“Now, Now, Discord has been reformed remember?..."
Unneeded capitalization.
Rainbow Dash exclaimed in a coughing 1.)gesture though she hardly made any effort to hide the fact she was calling the Pegasus out on her statement.
“Oh come now, does this look like the face of a pony who would2.)-Discord!”
1.) Missing comma. 2.) There should be a comma between the hyphen and "Discord." Normally a hyphen would be used to combine two or more words that would not normally be combined or used to show speech being abruptly cut off. This is the latter, so you would need the space.
Everypony's jaw dropped as Fluttershy's hoof sailed 1.)a crossed the 2.)draconequus's 3A.)face knocking him back onto his rump and staring at her with a shocked expression as the mare stared 3B.)back huffing and puffing at him looking pissed off beyond belief. “Innocent jokes I can take, poking fun I can ignore, but 4.)I, WILL, NOT, 5.)TOLERATE, you insulting our friends in such a way!” Fluttershy roared at the draconequus and seemed to narrow her eyes at him as her face neared his. “You got that?” She 3C.)added at which point Discord nodded silently.
1.) "Across." 2.) The s after the apostrophe is superfluous. 3ABC.) These word pairs are missing commas. 4.) These commas should be commas should be periods. 5.) This comma is superfluous. I guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship... wait.
“So it really wasn't the cider makin me imagine it, somethin really is goin on between those two.”
Missing apostrophes.
“You said it A-J..."
Missing comma.
Pinkie Pie 1A.)added which caused 1B.)everypony including 1C.)Discord to stare at her with a confused look on their faces. “What? You should see Rainbow Dash when she's on it! 2.)Yesh, scary!”
I still object to Twilight getting to keep her promiscuity secret!
4672584
But that's what sequels are for!
Boy i hope fluttershy isn't pregnant ... that would be awkward to explain.
You're!
Our what is epic?
4672691
4672657
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2657-Oh_you.png
so im guessing fluttershy is pregnant with discord
4672622 i think she is
COME ON! BE PREGNANT!
4672584 I do as well.
I'd also like to see more resolution on the whole Rarity/Spike thing. Twilight asked her what happened last time they went gem hunting, so it's possible that that was only a day or two ago. Meaning it's als opossible that Spike and Rarity haven't even spoken again since then. I really think this needs exploring at some point, including him getting a talking to about how to treat mares. Just saying.
4673163
I'm unsure where to even start with Rarity and Spike. The freaky D&S* relationship? The fact that he's desperately underage by dragon standards and pretty underage by pony standards? That she enjoyed Spike's attentions? And how the hell is Twilight, Princess, going to deal with the fact that they might have technically raped each other?
Does that qualify it as statutory rape? Or rape period? I'm so confused!
And will Spike get the chance to defend himself by yelling "You! I learned it from watching you! I learned about raping ponies from watching you rape Shining Armor every night, ok?"
*For anyone offended, I'm fine with that lifestyle. It's just this particular relationship thats
4673190 Well, to be honest, I don't thik Spike is underage. Twilight hatched him when she was applying for school, say age five. She's clearly in her twenties now, so I reckon Spike could easily be eighteen. Twilight even eluded to this in the story.
As for whether or not he raped her, I don't think so. He knew she'd end up liking it and as such was actually helping her live out her fantasy. The part that bothered me is that he just up and left her, didn't even say goodbye. He may have thought that it would add the the whole 'being used' fantasy, but it still wasn't cool. As I said, it's possible they haven't even spoken since then, so he could still make up for it.
I know it may seem hypocritical of Twilight to say anything about it but it's not the 'rape' that Spike needs to be corrected on, it's how to treat a mare after the fantasy is over. As for Twilight raping Shining Armor. Yes, she did technically rape him, but he wasn't aware of it (until that time in the story, as far as we know he wasn't aware of it all the other times), it's still rather wrong but in the end he didn't seem to mind.
Pregnancy! Pregnancy for everypony! Twilight/Shining! Mac/Rainbow! Fluttershy/Discord! Applejack and.. Bloomburg! Literal Apple Ponies! Rarity and Spike and the Diamond dogs!
Yes! Rarity will lay eggs and have puppies AT THE SAME TIME!
4673423
This story just raises all kinds of weird issues. And are we going by pony age or dragon age? Because he is still a baby dragon.
As for Spike and Rarity.. I expect they're going to make a regular thing about it. They might even custom order a leather saddle along with reins.
4673154 I SECOND THIS MOTION!
Well...
If you think about it, Fluttershy was acting the same way during her flashback, she hit discord then almost immediately went to.... well yeah.
[x] Most likely on heat
[x] Semen in.. area
The problem is, it was
So how my comment was relevant... No idea.
oh come on it's no secret we all know it. fluttershy forgot the cookies in the oven. why else would she be so upset and moody. it's not like she has kids hehe
Chaos Babies.
Mother of God...
4673485 i could so believe all of that.
4673485 Well, in my opinion, Spike is an adult in pony terms. Since he was raised by ponies I think his maturity would be about the same as a pony his age. Therefore it's fine for him to have sex, in my opinion anyway.
I hope they do make a regular thing of it, but that doesn't really address how thye feel about eachother. Will they start a romantic relationship or will they just be friends with benefits. Also, I doubt dragon or dog DNA is compatible with ponies, even in a land of magic.
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/037/3/7/fluttershy_happy_by_myardius-d5ttnfi.png
"might" be
fabulesslyfrugal.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/prego-coupon.jpg
Why people complain about Twilight not telling her story? Wasnt the one with her brother her dirty secret? Only Applejack and Discord didnt described any story at this point
4672584
Well, Twilight is the only one who actually committed a crime with her sex act. Non-consensual sex (from her perspective, at least) is kind of a no-no. Rape + Incest + Being quasi-famous = Scandal of EPIC PROPORTIONS.
4674019
Well they are dating, so it is more than likely that they've gone at it since then.
fluttershy's pregnant with discord's babay
Chapter nine: An Unforeseen Complication(Part1):
WARNING! Major chapter nine spoilers!
The story is over, however, so it should be fine.
The first sentence. Never a good sign.
This should be capitalized and it is spelled "Chutes."
"Limbs."
There should be commas between "restroom" and "up," and "chucking" and "I."
The s after the apostrophe is superfluous. When making a non-proper noun that ends with an s possessive, it just needs an apostrophe.
1.) There should be an apostrophe at the end here, this is a possessive for a non-proper noun with an s at the end.
2.) The Who/He Whom/Him rule applies here. This should be "who."
3.) So, just half of the mares in the room. Well, since Fluttershy is not in the room at the moment, less than half of the mares in the room have hangovers.
4.) There should be a comma between these words.
1.) The phrase is "worse for wear."
2ABCD.) These word pairs all need commas.
3.) The period should be a comma and "she" should be lowercase.
4.) The s after the apostrophe is superfluous.
5AB.) The words from which you dropped the g's need apostrophes at the end.
6.) The period should be a comma or "she" should be capitalized.
Missing comma.
Missing apostrophe and comma.
1.) Missing comma.
2.) This is not even the correct word, never mind the fact that you left out the apostrophe. The word that should be here is "seeing," but seeing as how you will leave off the g it should end up being "seein'."
1.) Missing comma.
2.) The s after the apostrophe is superfluous.
Right Rarity?!Missing comma. Oddly enough, I am okay with interrobangs.
This should either be "restroom and the door slammed" or "restroom, the door slamming."
Missing comma.
Missing comma.
1.) Missing comma.
2.) "Gave' should be "cast" or "at" should be "to."
3.) The Who/He Whom/Him rule applies here. This should be "who."
The period should be a comma or "she" should be capitalized.
Unneeded capitalization.
1.) Missing comma.
2.) There should be a comma between the hyphen and "Discord." Normally a hyphen would be used to combine two or more words that would not normally be combined or used to show speech being abruptly cut off. This is the latter, so you would need the space.
1.) "Across."
2.) The s after the apostrophe is superfluous.
3ABC.) These word pairs are missing commas.
4.) These commas should be commas should be periods.
5.) This comma is superfluous.
I guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship... wait.
Missing apostrophes.
Missing comma.
1ABC.) These word pairs need commas.
2.) "Yeesh."
Well, this chapter sure revealed a drama bomb. Pregnant Fluttershy. What do you call the spawn of a draconequus and a Pegasus? A draconequusasus? Oh, yeah, I know, you call her Screwball.
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120831180136/mlpfanart/images/3/34/Screwball_by_Heart-Of-Stitches.png
KBO.
so like....does twilight still have feelings for her brother or wut? ._.