Wow, who knew Pinkie Pie was Bi-sexual? XD

*raises his hoof*

Makes me wonder who's next Applejack? Rarity? Rainbowdash? Twilight?

That's two down, now for the humor intermission and back to the "juicy" stuff. Also:

Read a bucking a book on it Rarity, she's a(hic!)classic case.

3709426
happygolegal.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/hands-raised.jpg

A drunken Twilight storyteller?

Oh please do go on

I totally knew pinkie was bi, I have a feeling rainbow is gonna get outed as lesbian soon lol

3709426 *also raises hoof*

pinkie isn't bi. she's multi sexual. colt, filly, mare, stallion, toaster oven, pastries, I'm sure she's into everything as long as it makes her smile. now I'm curious as to whom the next victim shall be.

oh and also surprised she broke her pinkie promise, I didn't think she'd do that spell or no spell, guess there are some things she can't break no matter how much she would want to.

3712204

Why do you think she stuffed her mouth full of popcorn the first time around? She was doing her part in keeping her pinkie promise and also why she was rather pissed off at Fluttershy for making her say it again. She couldn't go off the rocker at her friend like she did AJ because none of them knew she had pinkie promised. That and having to say in graphic detail when and how you got banged is embarrassing enough....

Over seven thousand words? Alright, let us get started on this beast.

WARNING! MAJOR CHAPTER FIVE SPOILERS!

...green faced“We came as soon as we heard.”

There should be a comma and a space between "faced" and the quotation mark.

...she spoke“No, not baked goods, baked bads.”

There should be a comma and a space between "spoke" and the quotation mark.

"...We've let you stay here out of the kindness of our hearts but kindness won't pay the bills.”

There should be a comma between "hearts" and "but."

“We're lucky the ponies didn't due us for that mess-up you and your friend made.” Mr. Cake chimed in though he sounded far more upset than Mrs. Cake did.

"Due" should be "sue," and there should be a comma between "in" and "though."

...Mr. Cake 1A.)exclaimed cutting off the pink 1B.)mare and sighed heavily. “Listen, Pinkie, we know you mean 1C.)well but a simple apology isn't going to cut it this time. ...Unless you can think of some way to pay us back for the bits lost within the next week, we're going to have to ask you to leave and find somewhere else to live.” 2.)he finished and walked 1D.)away shaking his head.

1ABCD.) There should be commas between "exclaimed" and "cutting," "mare" and "and," "well" and "but," and between "away" and "shaking."
2.) "He" should be capitalized.

“We're really sorry dearie but there's no other way to do this. You've messed up before but nothing this big. We've been more than tolerant of your mistakes but this just takes the... well cake!” Mrs. Cake added and gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder before she walked away leaving Pinkie Pie to her thoughts.

There should be commas between "sorry" and "dearie," "dearie" and "but," "before" and "but," "mistakes" and "but," and between "away"and "leaving."

She enjoyed being spontaneous and laughing things off most of the time but this, this she couldn't laugh off or find something random to solve the issue. She was facing being homeless and that wasn't a laughing matter.

There should be commas between "time" and "but," and between "homeless" and "and."

Sure she could ask to stay with one of her friends but the Cakes are the ponies who have put up with her for so many years now.

There should be a comma between "friends" and "but."

More like, "really, really close friends".

The close quote should be on the outside of the period.

However no matter how much she thought it over, she could think of nothing that would provide a solid solution to her predicament.

There should be a comma between "however" and "no."

“I've thought of a few ideas but none of them would make me enough bits to cover the amount they lost.”

There should be a comma between "ideas" and "but."

“Well of course nothing would cover that many bits!..."

There should be a comma between "well" and "of."

"...I mean what pony would reduce themselves to that?”

There should be a comma between "mean" and "what."

“Thanks Dashie!..."

There should be a comma between "thanks" and "Dashie."

Rainbow Dash replied looking completely bewildered for a moment until it hit her at which point her facial expression became slightly panicked.

There should be commas between "replied" and "looking," and between "her" and "at."

“Nah!” she said and flew off.

"She" should be capitalized.

Mr. and Mrs. Cake came home that evening to see surgarcube corner immaculately clean much to their shock.

"Surgarcube" is spelled "Sugarcube," "Sugarcube Corner" should be capitalized, and there should be a comma between "clean" and "much."

Mr. Cake remarked in awe as he ran a hoof along the glass case which made a squeaky-clean sound as he ran a hoof along it.

This is a repetition of terms in a single sentence. It my read better if the second "as he ran a hoof along" read "as he did so."

One thing that stood out however was an abnormally large arrow next to the staircase with the words “THIS WAY” printed on it. Curiously the Cakes walked up the stairs and past the sign only to see yet another abnormally large sign with the same words printed on the last one pointing towards their bedroom.

There should be commas between "out" and "however," "however" and "was," "curiously" and "the," and between "sign" and "only."

Mrs. Cake asked curiously as she opened the door to their 1)room only to both stare slack-jawed as they looked at Pinkie Pie dressed in a 2.)sultry outfit with an equally sultry expression on her face as 3.)he looked at the two.

1.) There should be a coma between "room" and "only."
2.) Just how "sultry" was the outfit? What did it look like? What color was it? What was it made out of? Did it clash with her coat, or did it match? Were there stockings? Panties? A corset? Was it frilly? Did it hold her tail up and out of the way? Did it expose any of her naughty bits?
3.) "He" should be "she."

"...So I got to thinking of some way to pay you two back for being so kind and boy did I do a lot of thinking!..."

There should be a comma between "kind" and "and."

What better way to pay you two back then by letting you have your way with me!”

"Then" should be "than."

Mrs. Cake asked in a stunned tone though Mr. Cake seemed to be fixated on Pinkie Pie at the moment as if seeing her completely differently than before. That is until Mrs. Cake gave him a swift slap to the side of the head with a glare which snapped him out of his stare.

There should be commas between "tone" and "though," and between "is" and "until."

Pinkie Pie replied cryptically only to begin laughing and snorting at her getting the idea from Rainbow Dash.

There should be a comma between "cryptically" and "only."

“I understand 1.)your desperate to stay 2A.)here dearie but there is no need to offer yourself up like this. Not only is it bad for you to lower yourself to such 2B.)things but think of how me and Mr. Cake feel3.)? Do you really think we would allow you to degrade yourself to prostitution?” Mrs. Cake asked and looked to Mr. 2C.)Cake only to notice that he 2D.)had once 2E.)again begun staring at her as if in a trance. That is, until she once again slapped him upside the 2F.)head at which point he cleared his throat.

1.) "Your" should be "you're."
2ABCDEF.) There should be commas between "here" and "dearie," "dearie" and "but," "things" and "but," "Cake" and "only," "had" and "once," "again" and "begun," and between "head" and "at."
3.) The question mark should be a period.

Mr. Cake added quickly though he trailed off again as he began to stare off at Pinkie Pie again only to snap himself out of his own trance this time around.

There should be commas between "quickly" and "though," and between "again" and "only."

Mr. Cake 1A.)replied though his voice sounded 2.)nervous more than stern.

Pinkie Pie bounced off the bed and hopped passed the 1B.)two only to take note of the fact that Mr. Cake's hind right leg was raised as if shielding something from 1C.)view though she dismissed 3.)the as nothing more than coincidence as she left the room.

1ABC.) There should be commas between "replied" and "though," "two" and "only," and between "view" and "though."
2.) This may read better as "more nervous."
3.) "The" should be "this."

Though Pinkie Pie now lay in her bed she wondered what kind of ideas the Cakes could be talking about to help her pay off her debt to them. Surely it couldn't hurt to ease-drop could it?

There should be a comma between "bed" and "she," "ease-drop" should be "eavesdrop," and "could."

“But 1.)surgardumping, she wants to.” Mr. Cake said in a pleading tone.

“You can't be 2A.)serious sweetcakes. 2B.)Sure we had talked about 2C.)this and agreed we would try it one 2D.)day but with Pinkie Pie? Celestia knows how that mare would behave in bed!”

3.)“Then why don't you suggest a mare we can trust then?” Mr. Cake 2E.)replied his voice sounding annoyed now.4.)

1.) I am sure you mean "sugar dumpling."
2ABCDE.) There should be commas between "serious" and "sweetcakes," "sure" and "we," "this" and "and," "day" and "but," and between "day" and "but."
3.)There should be only one "then" in this sentence, either at the beginning or the end. If you choose to keep the one at the end, you will need a comma between it and "trust."
4.) This entire thing is italicized, only the dialogue between Mister and Missus Cake should be italicized, not the narration.

"...Besides, 1.)do you 2.)really think a mare of her stature, being the Princess's student and all, would probably end up writing a letter to her mentor about the 3.)experience 4.)and I can only imagine the bad publicity that would bring to our business.” Mr. Cake 5.)replied at which point Mrs. Cake could be heard sighing loudly.6.)

1.) "Do" should be "don't."
2.) "Really" should be omitted.
3.) there should be a question mark after "experience."
4.) "And" should be capitalized.
5.) There should be a comma between "replied" and "at."
6.) Once again, only the dialogue between the Cakes should be italicized, not the narration.

“We just got done telling her that it wasn't a good idea to lower herself to that in order to stay here though. We would look like a couple of hypocrites if we asked her to after that.” Mrs. Cake replied and sighed once again.

There should be a comma between "here" and "though." Also, once again, only the dialogue should be italicized, not the narration.

“1.)Surgardumpling, do you really think we could ever kick her out? Sure she messes up a 2A.)lot but we both know she always means 2B.)well and it's not like she's driven us bankrupt with this mistake of hers...” 3.)Mr. Cake replied in a warm tone of voice.

1.) "Sugar dumpling" is misspelled.
2AB.) There should be commas between "lot" and "but," and between "well" and "and."
3.) Once again, only the dialogue should be italicized, not the narration. How about, from now on, I call this the "Italicized Narration Complication?"

“Ahem, that's... beside the 1A.)point 2.)honeybun.” 3A.)Mr. Cake 1B.)replied his voice sounding nervous now. “My point is that she is the only mare in this town we are close enough 1C.) 4.)to allow us to consider doing this with her.” 3B.) 5.)he 1D.)added though his voice sounded much more confident now.

1ABCD.) There should be commas between "point" and "honey bun," "replied" and "his," "to" and "to," and between "added" and "though."
2.) "Honey bun" is two words.
3AB.) Italicized Narration Complication.
4.) There should be a "to" between "to" and "allow."
5.) "He" should be capitalized.

"...I'm not really up for the 1A.)idea but I 1B.)did after 1C.)all promise you we would try this one 1D.)day and I won't go back on my word.” 2A.)Mrs. Cake said 1E.)finally and sighed once again. “But if she gets too silly or rowdy, I'm putting a stop to this before it even begins.” 3.) 2B.)she added a few moments later in a 1F.)stern yet threatening tone.

“Should we tell her now?” 2C.)Mr. Cake 1G.)asked though his voice hardly hid its excitement.

“It's 1H.)late sweetkins, let's wait 4.)till tomorrow.” 2D.)Mrs. Cake 1I.)replied followed by a yawn.

1ABCDEFGHI.) There should be commas between "idea" and "but," "did" and "after," "all" and "promise," "day" and "and," "finally" and "and," "stern" and "yet," "asked" and "though," "late" and "sweetkins," and between "replied" and "followed."
2ABCD.) Italicized Narration Complication.
3.) "She" should be capitalized.
4.) "Till" should be "until."

The next morning Pinkie Pie was up bright and early as she always was, the events of last night farthest from her mind, that is until she came home that afternoon to see Mr. and Mrs. Cake sitting at a table.

There should be a comma between "morning" and "Pinkie."

“1.)Oki-loki,doki!” Pinkie Pie replied enthusiastically as she bounced over to the table and 2.)dug into the cake that sat on the table sloppily 3.)to which Mrs. Cake glared at Mr. Cake.

1.) It is "Okie dokie, lokie."
2.) "Sloppily" should be moved to before or after "dug."
3.) There should be a comma between "table" and "to."

she said in the sweetest tone she could muster despite her annoyance with Pinkie Pie's behavior.

"She" should be capitalized, and there should be a comma between "muster" and "despite."

Pinkie Pie looked at Mrs. 1.)Cake now taking note of the fact she was less than pleased with her pigging out on the cake like she was, gulped down what she had stuffed into her mouth so far, and giggled nervously. “Sorry!” 2.)she said sheepishly.

“Thank you.” Mrs. Cake 3.)replied looking genuinely impressed that Pinkie Pie was 4A.)able to actually 4B.)able to behave maturely when asked to.

1.) "Now" is superfluous, and there should be a comma between "Cake" and "taking."
2.) "She" should be capitalized.
3.) There should be a comma between "replied" and "looking."
4AB.) You only need one "able to," it does not matter which one you keep.

Mr. Cake replied simply to which Mrs. Cake sighed heavily.

There should be a comma between "simply" and "to."

Upon hearing this, Pinkie Pie's mind shot directly to last night's 1A.)conversation at which point she had a 2.)feeling what Mr. Cake was about to talk to her 1B.)about but fought the urge to outburst 1C.)this despite her usual impulses screaming at her 3.)too.

1ABC.) There should be commas between "conversation" and "at," "about" and "but," "and between "this" and "despite."
2.) I think there should be a "she knew" between "feeling" and "what."
3.) This is the wrong "to."

We know you mean well and the fact that we both know your only source of income is what we pay you.

There should be a comma between "well" and "and." Also, "the fact that" is unneeded.

“Ahem, well, we thought of a way for you to do that actually.” Mr. Cake replied though his voice sounded a little nervous now as he spoke.

There should be commas between "that" and "actually," and between "replied" and "though."

“As you know, I'm often out-of-1.)town and Mr. Cake is often left to his own 2A.)devices and well, when a pony gets in the mood, it's hard to shake 3.)it so me and my 4.)Husband agreed a long time 2B.)ago that if we found a mare we could trust...” She 2C.)began only to trail off.

1.) There should be a period after "town" and "and" should be capitalized.
2ABC.) There should be commas between "devices" and "and," "ago" and "that," and between "begin" and "only."
3.) There should be a period after "it," and "so" should be capitalized.
4.) "Husband" should be lowercase.

Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she bounced around the room only to stop literally mid-bounce in the air upon seeing Mrs. Cake's slightly annoyed stare.

There should be a comma between "room" and "only."

“Well, that saves us having to explain everything honeybuns.”

There should be a comma between "everything" and "honey buns," and "honey buns" is two words.

“I 1A.)am but on two conditions.” Mrs. Cake 1B.)said though her voice sounded stern and strict as she spoke.

“Which 2.)is?” Pinkie Pie 1C.)asked doing her best to keep her bouncy impulses in check at the moment.

1ABC.) There should be commas between "am" and "but," "said" and "though" and between "asked" and "doing."
2.) "Is" should be "are."

“You keep this relationship purely unconditional and if I object at any time to you or my sweetiekins when either of you wants to run off and buck, you drop the idea then and there for the day.

There should be a comma between "unconditional" and "and." Also, I do not think "unconditional" is the correct word here, considering the "on two conditions" line a few sentences ago. The word should probably be "unemotional" or "casual."

Pinkie Pie chirped looking a little scared of Mrs. Cake due to her attitude making the condition sound as if she didn't follow it to the mark, there would be dire consequences

There should be commas between "chirped" and "looking" and between "attitude" and "making." Also, this sentence may be pregnant, since it did not get its period.

Pinkie Pie exclaimed enthusiastically which caused Mrs. Cake to blush crimson with a startled expression due to being put on the spot suddenly and look away. “Oh! You are! This is gonna be fun!” she added as she resumed bouncing around the room.

There should be commas between "enthusiastically" and "which," and between "suddenly" and "and." Also, "she" should be capitalized.

Mrs. Cake attempted to continue 1A.)speaking but Pinkie Pie bouncing around the room seemed to continuously annoy 1B.)her “Pinkie Pie, would you please behave like the mare instead of your horseshoe size?!” 2.)she blurted out in frustration and 1C.)sighed at which point Pinkie 1D.)Pie once 1E.)again literally halted mid-bounce in the air and seemed to float back to the floor. “Honestly dearie, if you can't behave like a mare for more than five minutes, 3.)than I don't see any point in this arrangement.”

1ABCDE.) There should be commas between "speaking" and "but," "her" and the quotation mark, "sighed" and "at," "Pie" and "once," and between "again" and "literally."
2.) "She" should be capitalized.
3.) 'Than" should be "then."

“Glad to see your thinking of the important things Pinkie.” Mrs. Cake remarked looking impressed at the fact that she had thought of something extremely important like that as she reached down, picked up a brown paper bag on the floor which was sitting next to her with her mouth, set it on the table, and took out a small box with the words, “Foal Prevention!” printed on the side of it.

There should be commas between "things" and "Pinkie," and between "remarked" and "looking."

Pinkie Pie remarked dragging out the sound of her first word longer than she needed to only to suddenly look confused. “What happened to using a rubber?” she asked curiously.

There should be commas between "remarked" and "dragging" and between "to" and "only." Also, "she" should be capitalized.

Pinkie Pie replied reciting the motions she often did when she made her signature Pinkie Pie promises.

There should be a comma between "replied" and "reciting."

“So lets pop some pills and make some cream pies!”

"Lets" should be "let's."

She didn't expect Pinkie Pie to want to wait long, given her impulsive personality but immediately after the conversation? “Are you sure you don't want to wait a little longer dearie? It is still business hours after all.” Mrs. Cake said with a nervous smile almost regretting making this agreement already.

There should be commas between "personality" and "but," "longer" and "dearie," "hours" and "after," and between "smile" and "almost."

The mare found it 1.)both comforting to know that the hyperactive mare was able to resist her impulses to try to hump her husband before 2A.)this but at the same time unnerving to hear that her friend had fantasized about her husband bucking her many times.

“V-Very 2B.)well but I'm not so sure I'll be taking part this time. Somepony needs to run the 2C.)store after 2D.)all since it's still business hours.” She conceded finally.

1.) "Both" is unneeded.
2ABCD.) There should be commas between "this" and "but," "well" and "but," "store" and "after," and between "all" and "since."

However before she could unlock the door, she felt somepony bite on her tail and begin to drag her away from the door.

There should be a comma between "however" and "before."

Mr. Cake remarked with a smirk as he followed the mare's upstairs.

"Mares" does not need an apostrophe.

“You could have objected and waited till tomorrow you know.”

"Till" should be "until," and there should be a comma between "tomorrow" and "you."

WARNING! FROM HERE ON, THIS COMMENT MAY GET NOT SAFE FOR WORK!

Do not say that I did not warn you.

Mrs. Cake began to ask only for her to feel a tongue running over her light blue mound at which point her mane and tail shot up in surprise. “P-Pinkie! What are you doing?!” She exclaimed with a crimson red blush only to stifle a moan as the pink mare's tongue ran along her clit sending a wave of pleasure down her spine.

There should be commas between "ask" and "only," "mound" and "at," "blush" and "only," and between "clit" and "sending."

Pinkie Pie was next to get on the bed though she jumped on it rather than simply climbing on it which caused the springs to groan as she landed. “Now we can continue.” she said lustfully as she gently moved Mrs. Cake's tail which had instinctively shielded her goods to the side, leaned down, and resumed running her tongue along the light blue mare's slit.

There should be commas between "bed" and "though," and between "tail" and "which." Also, "she" should be capitalized.

“I can't believe this is happening, somepony is eating me out other than my husband..."

This would read better if it was written, "somepony other than my husband is eating me out."

“Enjoying the 1A.)show Mr. Cake?” She asked in a sultry tone before she inserted her tongue back into Mrs. Cake's 1B.)slit which was growing wetter by the second.

“Y-Yeah.” Mr. Cake 1C.)stuttered nearly drooling as 2.)the Mrs. Cake moaned out and Pinkie's hoof snaked under herself and began to rub herself gingerly.

“D-Don't just stare! It's embarrassing!” Mrs. Cake 1D.)flustered blushing red as she looked over at her husband.

1ABCD.) There should be commas between "show" and "Mr," "slit" and "which," "stuttered" and "nearly," and between "flustered" and "blushing."
2.) "The" is superfluous.

...Pinkie Pie removed her mouth from Mrs. Cake's flower once 1A.)again much to Mrs. Cake's 2.)disappointment “She's right Mr. Cake, why don't you come over here and join us?” 3.)she asked with a 1B.)smirk at which point Mr. Cake walked over to the bed as Pinkie Pie resumed eating out Mrs. Cake.

1AB.) There should be commas between "again" and "much," and between "smirk" and "at."
2.) There should be a period or a comma between "disappointment" and the quotation mark.
3.) "She" should be capitalized.

Moments later, Pinkie Pie's eyes snapped wide as she felt something resting at her entrance which caused her to lift her head up and look behind herself to see Mr. Cake looking over her.

There should be a comma between "entrance" and "which."

“Just stick it in her 1A.)already 2.)honeybuns, we both know you've been wanting to do this since last 1B.)night and you know I'm okay with it.” Mrs. Cake 1C.)replied looking a little agitated at the moment due to her pleasure being interrupted twice in the last five minutes.

1ABC.) There should be commas between "already and "honey," "night" and "and," and between "replied" and "looking."
2.) "Honey buns" is two words.

Pinkie Pie didn't need to be told twice but feeling the object of her fantasies now plowing her was greatly distracting her as she resumed pleasuring Mrs. Cake.

There should be a comma between "twice" and "but."

Mrs. Cake remarked dismally as Pinkie Pie moaned out seemingly completely forgetting about her task in pleasuring Mrs. Cake.

There should be a coma between "out" and "seemingly."

Pinkie Pie attempted to apologize between moans only for Mrs. Cake to lock lips with the pink mare cutting her off.

There should be a comma between "mare" and "cutting."

“You're really getting into 1.)this 2.)surgardumpling.” Mr. cake grunted as the pleasure continued to mount in his throbbing member as he slammed it into Pinkie Pie's puffy pink 3.)cunt.

1.) There should be a coma between "this" and "sugar"
2.) "Sugar" is misspelled, and "sugar dumpling" is two words.
3.) Oh, come on, could you not have ended that sentence with a pretty alliteration? I am sure that there is a p word that means about the same thing as the word with which you ended that sentence.

“Oh that won't take long...” Pinkie Pie drawled between moans as her body twitched with each thrust into her puffy pink pussy, pushing her closer and closer to her climax which was not far away at all.

There should be commas between "oh" and "that," and between "climax" and "which."

Mrs. Cake now lay on her side as she rubbed herself with swift yet gently strokes to her marehood.

There should be a comma between "swift" and "yet."

Pinkie Pie's statement was dead on as moments after Mrs. Cake began to rub herself, the pink mare gave a high-pitched orgasmic cry as her vaginal muscles contracted around Mr. Cake's member and her marehood began to gush its juices all over Mr. Cake's cock.

Mrs. Cake watched the mare's fluids dribble on the bed the steady stream of mare-cum making a steady pattering sound as it splashed against the mattress and stained it.

There should be commas between "on" and "as," "member" and "and," and between "bed" and "the."

Eventually Pinkie Pie's orgasm subsided and the mare collapsed on the 1A.)bed causing Mr. Cake's member to slip out. “I certainly hope you're not 1B.) 2.)close honeybuns, because I'm looking forward to a good, long rutting.” Mrs. Cake remarked with a smirk as she crawled up to the head of her bed, spread her 1C.)legs and motioned for her husband to come over.

1ABC.) There should be commas between "bed" and "causing," "close" and "honey," and between "legs" and "and."
2.)"Honey buns" is two words.

“Oh don't you 1A.) 2.)worry sweetiepie, I'll give you what you want.” Mr. Cake remarked lustfully as he leaned forward and locked lips with his wife as he slid his 1B.)member still 3.)coating in Pinkie Pie's orgasmic 1C.)juices into her.

1ABC.) There should be commas between "worry" and "sweetie," "member" and "still," and between "juices" and "into."
2.) "Sweetie pie" is two words.
3.) "Coating" should be "coated."

"...You love bucking me hard and fast after making another mare cum all over your cock, don't ya honeykins?”

There should be a comma between "ya" and "honeykins."

“Hehe, If I didn't know any better Mrs. Cake. I'd say that you're even more turned on than usual.”

There should be a comma between "better" and "Mrs," and the period after "Cake" should be a comma.

Mrs. Cake 1.)asked though she could barely keep her thoughts steady as her husband's member continuously 2.)“thrust” them from her mind.

1.) There should be a comma between "asked" and "though."
2.) Ha. Very punny. You ought to be pun-ished.

Pinkie Pie replied as if what she had just said was not big as she continued to mean her way down to her intended target.

There should be a comma between "big" and "as," and "mean" should be "make."

Mrs. Cake began to ask nervously only for Mr. Cake to seemingly go into overdrive and thrust himself harder and deeper into her while Pinkie Pie fonded her left teat as she continued to suck and lick the right one.

There should be commas between "nervously" and "only," and between "overdrive" and "thrust." Also,"fonded" should be "fondled."

Mrs. Cake's senses were being overloaded now. She found herself lost in a the bottom of a sea pleasure with no desire to come up for air. Her climax rushing forward so fast she had no time to stop it. In no time at all she had the hardest and most body jerking orgasm she had ever had.

"Now" is superfluous, and there should be commas between "pleasure" and "with," "fast" and "she," and between "all" and "she."

Mr. Cake exclaimed and while Mrs. Cake expected him to fill her with his seed,...

There should be a comma between "exclaimed" and "and."

I'm trying to enjoy an orgasm and your making me laugh which is ruining it!”

There should be commas between "orgasm" and "and" and between "laugh" and "which."

“You don't seem to upset over that though.”

There should be a comma between "that" and "though."

“We're never going to have normal sex ever again with her being involved.” Mr. Cake remarked as he sat down on the bed while his member slowly grew flaccid.

There should be commas between "again" and "with," and between "bed" and "while."

“That's not a bad thing is it?”

There should be a comma between "thing" and "is."

Pinkie Pie leaned over Mrs. Cake 1.)now and looked over at her “2.)Oki-doki,loki!” she replied and ran her tongue along Mrs. Cake's 3A.)teats which got her a nice amount of Mr. Cake's seed on her 3B.)tongue which she lapped up and swallowed.

1.) "Now" is superfluous.
2.) It is spelled "okie dokie, lokie," and there should be a space between the comma and "lokie."
3AB.) There should be commas between "teats" and "which," and between "tongue" and "which."

Mrs. Cake asked curiously though she gave an audible shudder and moan as a wave of pleasure coursed through her body.

There should be a comma between "curiously" and "though."

Pinkie Pie lifted her head 1A.)up and looked at Mrs. 2A.)cake with a lust-filled 3.)expression “Mr. Cake is going to be out of commission for a little 1B.)while so we can have a little fun until he's ready for another round. Don't tell me your spent already?” 2B.)she replied with a smile before she resumed cleaning off Mrs. Cake's teats and lower chest with her mouth and tongue.

“Well, 4.)usually only go for one 1C.)round and it's still business 1D.)hours so we really should-” Mrs. Cake began to 1E.)explain only for her explanation to be cut off with a sharp moan.

1ABCDE.) There should be commas between "up" and "and," "while" and "so," "round" and "and," "hours" and "so," and between "explain" and "only."
2AB.) "Cake" and "she" should be capitalized.
3.) There should be a period or comma after "expression."
4.) There should be a "we" before "usually."

“You tell me you want to stop but your body tells me you want to keep going.”

There should be a comma between "stop" and "but."

she added a few moments later as she put her hoof close to Mrs. Cake's maw who seemed to be hesitant to clean it off.

"She" should be capitalized, and there should be a comma between "maw" and "who."

Being pleasured by a mare was one thing but returning the favor?

There should be a comma between "thing" and "but."

“Well, what are you waiting for? It's time to stop starin' and get lickin'! Pinkie Pie exhorted just before she dug her own maw into Mrs. Cake's light blue puffy slit which earned a loud moan from the mare.

There should be a close quote after the exclamation point, and there should be commas between "exhorted" and "just," and between "slit" and "which."

“You only live once...” She concluded softly, leaned in, and began to shyly lick at Pinkie Pie's folds getting a sample of her sex as the mare's juices continued to leak from her slit.

There should be commas between "folds" and "getting" and between "sex" and "as." Also, YOLO.

The sight of his wife and Pinkie Pie in full-blown lesbian action was more than enough to get Mr. Cake hard again as he watched the two go at it for a little longer before he crawled up to his wife and presented his throbbing member to her.

There should be commas between "action" and "was" and between "again" and "as."

she added as she got off top of Mrs. Cake whom looked confused for a moment as to why she had removed the object of her sexual high until she caught on as Pinkie Pie laid next to her.

"She" should be capitalized, and there should be commas between "Cake" and "whom," and between "high" and "until."

Mr. Cake replied as he gently moved Mrs. Cake's hooves away from his member, crawled over to Pinkie Pie and began to plow her missionary style.

“Make sure you give Mrs. Cake some too!” Pinkie Pie moaned after a few minutes of plowing by the stallion who quickly picked up on the idea Pinkie Pie had in mind.

There should be commas between "Pie" and "and," "some" and "too," and between "stallion" and "who."

Once again, Mrs. Cake could feel the Pinkie Pie's juice run along her inner walls and mix with her own. Though this didn't last too long as Mr. Cake pulled out of her and began to slam his length into Pinkie Pie again.

"The" is superfluous, and there should be a comma between "long" and "as."

Mrs. Cake wasn't far off either as she leaned over and resumed making out with Pinkie Pie as Mr. Cake's panting became erratic signally he would blow his load at any moment.

There should be commas between "either" and "as," and between "erratic" and "signaling." Also, "signally" should be "signaling."

“Give me some 1A.) 2.)frosting honeybuns!” Mrs. Cake exclaimed as she reached down and 3A.)pulled Mr. Cake's 1B.)cock 3B.)out which was still squirting. Mr. Cake immediately slammed his cock into his wife, emptying the 4.)remained contents of his balls into her slit.

“5.)mmmmph!” She moaned out as she locked lips with her husband and came hard.

1AB.) There should be commas between "frosting" and "honey," and between "cock" and "which."
2.) "Honey buns" is two words.
3AB.) "Out" should be moved to just after "pulled."
4.) "Remained" should be "remaining."
5.) The first m should be capitalized.

Mr. Cake's balls soon 1A.)emptied and the stallion collapsed in between the two 1B.)mares whom scooted to the side and wrapped their hooves around him. “Is he asleep?” Pinkie Pie asked curiously. She couldn't tell since Mr. Cake 2.)was facing her at the 1C.)moment but she could hear faint snoring sounds.

1ABC.) There should be commas between "emptied" and "and," "mares" and "whom," and between "moment" and "but."
2.)This should be either "was not facing her," "wasn't facing her," or "was facing away from her."

“Hey, Just because I like to have fun and throw parties doesn't mean I like to behave like my horseshoe size all the time!”

"Just" should be lowercase, and there should be a comma between "parties" and "doesn't."

“I'll try but no promises.”

There should be a comma between "try" and "but."

Pinkie Pie finished only for her face to become a scowl once she had. “That was a meanie-pants thing you did Fluttershy!”

There should be commas between "finished" and "only," and between "did" and "Fluttershy."

“Revenge is never 1A.)nice Pinkie Pie.” Rarity remarked with a smirk. “I'm surprised at 1B.)Fluttershy though. What pony knew she was so passive aggressive.” 2.)she remarked with a curious look to 1C.)Fluttershy whom looked satisfied with the embarrassment she had put the pink mare through.

1ABC.) There should be commas between "nice" and "Pinkie," "Fluttershy" and "though," and between "Fluttershy" and "who."
2.) "She" should be capitalized.

“Read a bucking a book on it Rarity, she's a(hic!)classic case.”

I am just going to chalk this up as inebriated speech.

Fluttershy remarked with a shocked expression at the Alicorn due to Twilight's curses snapping her attention to Twilight.

""Alicorn" does not need to be capitalized, also, there should be commas between "alicorn" and "due," and between "curses" and "snapping."

“Ah reckon we'll all be learning somethin' 1.)bout one another we didn't know before this game's over.” Applejack commented and looked at Pinkie 2A.)Pie who still was scowling at Fluttershy. “3.)You're 2B.)turn 4.)surgarcube.”

1.) There should be an apostrophe at the beginning of 'bout.
2AB.) There should be commas between "Pie" and "who" and between "turn" and "sugarcube."
3.) "You're" should be "your."
4.) "Sugarcube" is misspelled.

Finally! It took twelve hours, but I finally finished this chapter! Pinkie should be super depressed and pissed that she was magically forced to break a Pinkie Promise. Watch out, Twilight and Fluttershy. As expected, Pinkie's sex scene was wild. For such a good scene, you deserve a Pinkie ahegao. I await the next chapter, KBO.

3710011 I LOVE YOUR PIC

3712445
true I guess I was figuring she'd go ape shit crazy like she did on AJ for breaking it. and yeah talking about wild sex like that even for a party pony would be enough that you'd just wanna curl into a ball and hide. now tho i'm wondering what pink will do to get back at flutters. will she let it slide or is she going to dare her to do something wild like walk down the street nude! ok not wild but funny

3720460

Walk down the street nude?

3720496
exactly. fluttershy wouldn't know what to say since they all walk down the street nude all the time. be like daring her to breath

3742641

dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/59396144/mlfw7815-MLP_internet.jpg

Next you'll be tellin me rainbow scored a 6 way with the wonder bolts for free show tickets.......

3744522

dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/59396144/MemeCenter_1373433264507_511.jpg

Consider me waiting for the next chapter.

Also, do I detect a bit of Dash has a crush on Twilight foreshadowing?

“We're lucky the ponies didn't due us for that mess-up you and your friend made.”

sue
______________________________

“You keep this relationship purely unconditional and if I object at any time to you or my sweetiekins when either of you wants to run off and buck, you drop the idea then and there for the day. Are we clear?”

confidential
______________________________

Mr. Cake remarked lustfully as he leaned forward and locked lips with his wife as he slid his member still coating in Pinkie Pie's orgasmic juices into her.

coated
__________________________

Mrs. Cake began to ask nervously only for Mr. Cake to seemingly go into overdrive and thrust himself harder and deeper into her while Pinkie Pie fonded her left teat as she continued to suck and lick the right one.

fondled
___________________

Interesting chapter.

3713501

Congratulations on the longest FimFiction comment EVER!

And I thought I wrote some doozies

So far, am liking this story.,, Despite the clop aspect of it. (Which I didn't realize was a part until I was already into the story) I'm not into clop, and I will not clop to this... but I will read it, and I will enjoy it, and probably, when I've finished, I will review it. So look forward to that

4709094 Also, I just put this comment through Microsoft Word Word counter... 6032 words.

LOL Pinkie said YOLO

this chapter was brought to you by YOLO