Half-Hour Horses

by HoofAndQuill

Cattle Prattle [Slice of Life, Comedy?]

(Alternate prompt: The cows of Equestria take the stage.)

(I shouldn't write when I'm half out of my mind with a cold. This is short and stupid but I wanted to write something anyway.)

It was a sunny afternoon at Sweet Apple Acres. The birds were singing, the sky was clear, and the grass was nice and juicy. Six cows stood together in the pasture, heads down and grazing pleasantly on the grass below. No pony would have expected that Equestria was in dire need of its most powerful defenders.

Daisy Jo spoke midway through their pleasant, day-long meal. "Oh now, come to think of it, have any of you seen Applejack today?"

Mooriella just let out a low mooing noise. Bessie shook her head. "Oh no, it's been a few days doncha know. She an her friends there ran out to fight that bad-lookin' character."

"I suppose I shouldn't be worried, nopony would dairy hurt our Applejack!"

The cows burst into laughter for a moment, and then Mooriella pointed out a scrumptious looking patch of clover.

--

It was a warm, pleasant morning at Sweet Apple Acres. A few clouds idly drifted over the farm despite not being pushed by any pegasi, and there was a pleasant, warm wind that just couldn't let anyone worry, least of all the six cows that stood grazing again. Still though, Daisy Jo couldn't quite get it out of her head.

"Yanno girls, I can't help thinkin' that there might be something wrong with Applejack and Winona. I haven't seen them for a week ya know."

Mooriella gave a flat look, and bent down to eat more onion, despite the Apples often asking they stay out of that.

Bessie shook her head. "Now don' go fretting about anything, Daisy Jo. I'm sure they know to steer clear of danger they can't handle."

Daisy Jo chuckled but then looked over toward Ponyville, the town's skyline invisible in the summer haze. "Oh I don't know, I can't help but miss seein' the ponies around, even Mooriella here can't stop milkin' their absence for all it's worth, ya know."

Mooriella was too busy munching on onion sprouts to respond, but Bessie just bumped her flank against Daisy Jo's. "Ooh, I know you're just missin' that Big Macintosh, dearie!"

The scandalized Daisy Jo could only blush and stammer until the alluring scent of some wildflowers caught the cows' attentions.

--

The six friends slowed their panicked retreat after what felt like an eternity of running. In the rush, they'd entirely forgotten just what had gotten them so spooked to begin with. Daisy Jo looked around at the empty cottages and caved-in roofs of Ponyville. "Oh my, just look at Ponyville, girls! I knew it'd been too long since I'd seen any of those ponies."

Mooriella munched idly on a fallen thatch roof.

Bessie, now unable to ignore the dire state of things, looked mildly alarmed. "Golly, ya know, we really ought to do something about all this! It's udderly unbearable!"

Daisy Jo glanced over toward the ruined Sugar Cube Corner, no longer filled with the scent of fresh-baked oatmeal cookies. She stood up tall, a surge of vengeful determination washing through her. "That's it, girls! We've got to go gather the Elements of Har-moo-ny, doncha know!"

Mooriella pointed one cloven hoof over toward a path of tilled earth, full of tender looking, delicious vegetable sprouts.

Bessie gasped sharply. "Oh my, Golden Harvest's vegetable garden's ripe! We oughta go help her harvest, ya know!"

The six cows walked quickly over to the garden, their mouths watering, and the Elements of Harmoony quite forgotten.

--

Equestria was doomed.