Half-Hour Horses

by HoofAndQuill

Facts and Figures [General]

(Prompt: http://25.media.tumblr.com/ce50f5efabc7df7dbbeb0f760d7d679e/tumblr_my1o0fsxNB1rxvwppo1_1280.png (Cadance and Filly Twilight doing charts on romantic compatibility with Cadance and Shining.))

(This one really didn't work at all, but it's too late to start another and I want to keep posting daily.)

It started off so simply. Twilight Sparkle was waiting in the lobby of the spa, in Ponyville, for Rarity and Fluttershy. She was set to attend one of their weekly spa visits, just for some time together with friends. Arriving punctually was her habit, but of course she hadn't factored in Rarity being 'fashionably late' and Fluttershy being so aware of Rarity's scheduling.

So she was sitting alone, idly for a while. There were various silly little magazines about the lobby for the guests to flip through, and Twilight soon found herself skimming through the only available reading material. Most of it was the typical mindless junk that these magazines focused on. Mane styles, tips for pleasing your stallion, etc etc. Twilight was halfway through idly checking off answers on a little relationship quiz when Rarity trotted her way through the door.

The quiz was quickly forgotten in favor of chatting with her friends. Mostly forgotten. For the moment.

When Twilight Sparkle got home after a day of spa treatment, she felt wonderfully relaxed. It wasn't until after dinner, when she was sitting and idly flicking through some old romance novel, that she thought about the quiz again. Twilight shook her head as soon as the thought occurred to her, and put the idea aside. But then it came back again. She frowned a bit, and more firmly told herself that it wasn't worth the effort to think about.

--

Two days later, Princess Cadance slowly and cautiously pushed open the door to the Golden Oak Library. Spike, standing on her back, pointed at the alicorn inside the library, who was currently engaged in some kind of high level mathematics as she charted out the compatibility matrices. "See? She's crazy! I thought you could help, 'cause, you know, Princess of Love and everything."

Princess Cadance smiled slightly, and turned to whisper to Spike. "Go spend a little while at Carousel Boutique, Spike. I'll get Twilight back to normal."

"Sure thing!" Spike agreed rather suspiciously readily, and hopped down to scamper off without any delay.

Cadance took a few steps forward, and then closed the door sharply behind her, the noise causing Twilight to jump in surprise. She turned around with an annoyed look aimed roughly at Cadance's pasterns before she realized it wasn't Spike interrupting. "Oh! Princess Cadance! What brings you to Ponyville?"

Princess Cadance laughed as Twilight trotted over to her and they engaged in their typical foalish greeting. Silly as it was, it never felt quite right to skip it. Afterwords, her smile felt a lot less forced. "Spike was worried, Twilight. What is all this?"

"Spike's worried over nothing! These are compatibility charts for love between me and a number of stallions around Ponyville and Canterlot. It's my duty as a Princess to find a husband!"

Cadance raised a questioning eyebrow.

Twilight blushed slightly. "Well... I know it's not my duty, exactly, but... well, I'm in my twenties now, and I've never even had a coltfriend. It's not unheard of, but it's at least one or two standard deviations from the norm! But look at this, wait, where was it... here!"

Cadance took a step back as a paper was thrust toward her, and scanned over it. "Prince Blueblood? Really, Twilight?"

"He's a prince, and I'm a Princess. But look, fifty-four percent. That's terrible. Fancy Pants is married already, but he's only scored at sixty-eight. None of the noble ponies that I have data on scored higher than seventy."

"Twilight..." Cadance did her best to keep her voice even and polite. "This sort of thing isn't important."

"Isn't important? Of course it's important! Love is what Equestria is built on! Unless you mean math, which is even more important!"

Cadance put her hoof gently on Twilight's back, and nuzzled against her cheek. Twilight slowly calmed down, blushing a bit at her own agitation. Cadance spoke softly. "What I mean is, math can't tell you everything about a relationship, or your compatibility with another pony."

Twilight sagged, and sighed quietly. "It worked for you and Shining! Don't you remember, you were... ninety-eight percent or so!"

Cadance hugged Twilight gently and then released her. "Okay, let's do it this way. An experiment." Princess Cadance lifted a sheet of parchment with her horn, and set it on the desk. "Fill this one out, but for you and... let's say Applejack."

"Applejack? But she's a mare, and my friend." Twilight blushed lightly. "I can't date a friend of mine, it might mess up the friendship."

Lifting a quill for Twilight to take, Cadance nodded toward the paper. "Just for an experiment. Let's see how well you two would get along."

Twilight sighed and turned toward the paper, marking down her thoughts as she went. "Let's see... we're friends already, so that's a good start. Though... she's an earth pony and I'm a Princess, and that's a wide gulf in abilities. She's also a farmer, and heavily invested in her family as well and... well..."

Twilight blushed slightly. "She'd want foals, because farmers need a lot of those. We don't share many interests... hmm.."

She continued to mark through the page, and Cadance took a moment to rifle through the assorted notes and charts that Twilight had put together. Prince Blueblood, several nobles of varying importance and wealth, both of Equestria and the Crystal Empire, a few select stallions in Ponyville, including, Cadance noted with a smirk, Applejack's brother. Even the pegasus guard from her own palace, Flash Sentry. The rankings varied, but universally were on the low side.

Cadance's attention was brought back to the current moment by an exasperated sound, and Twilight's voice. "Ugh! This doesn't make any sense! Applejack and I shouldn't even like each other, let alone be best friends!"

"Oh? Maybe you two should stop talking?" She tried, though she suspected mostly failed, to keep the jovial, teasing lilt out of her voice.

Twilight set the quill down. "I'm not going to stop talking to Applejack just because the math doesn't work ou-- Oh." Twilight smiled sheepishly. "... I see. But it worked for you and Shining..."

Cadance laughed musically. "It was a coincidence! These charts and quizzes you have are for fun, Twilight, they aren't serious. There's no way to test for that special something two friends or lovers share. It just happens."

The two friends laughed and spent a few minutes cleaning up and putting away the charts and supplies. If Twilight seemed a little distracted through it all, Cadance didn't notice. They shared a pleasant visit, until Cadance left a few hours later, headed back to the Crystal Empire.

Twilight waited until the sound of Cadance's hooves faded from earshot, and opened her drawer, pulling the sorted papers out again with a nimbus of magic. She flipped through the names and scores. "So math can't tell me everything, and my books can't either. That means... experimental data is the only way to go! Alphabetically, there's no A, so... Big Macintosh. Tomorrow, Sweet Apple Acres!"

Comments

[PresentPerfect]

And no lesson was learned. XD