The Party Pony

by massive dawn fade fan

3 years later

it had been three years since that fateful saturday night when Applejack and Fluttershy became a couple but theire love was just as beautiful as that night they had long since moved into a house next to the everfree and next to Fluttershy's old cottage which she had turned into a vets and made a cosy profit all of which was donated to the RSPCA. The apple farm was still manned Applejack and in the summer fluttershy would help by making snacks and drinks so that the farm work could be done quicker. It took a little while for Granny Smith to get over the idea of AJ being a fillyfooler but she grew comfortable to it and gave ownership of the farm to applejack and bigmacintosh when she died. Also in her will she had left Fluttershy her golden hairpin that was given to her by her granny who was given it by her granny and so on for several more generations.

After the funeral AJ, Fluttershy, Bigmac and Applebloom all went to sugar cube corner where a memorial party had been thrown and a statue had been made to comermorate the founder of ponyville. Fluttershy and AJ sat at a table in the corner holding hoofs and talking quietly what they should do next and talk quickly wanderd onto adopting a foal from the local orphenage they agreed to talk about it later after the party but they were to excited and it was clear to them both that they would adopt a foal and raise him or her to be the best pony they could be .

It took several weeks for the forms to clear but eventually they did and they adopted a yellow earth pony colt with orange and hair they named him Jazz Apple.

Author's Note:

this chapter was so i could fill the 1000 word quota but i may have failed so if you dont like this chapter disregard it i rushed it and it probably is rubbish.

Comments

[dream1990]

this story is not over right because i would like to see Jazz Apple the colt that Applejack and Flutttershy adopted grow up with Slice of Life in it or can you make another story about that and i like it

[massive dawn fade fan]

3533893 Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed the story when I have some more time I will write the story you requested of me. At the mean time I am writing a Gothic horror story for my english GCSE and a science fiction story both of which are not pony related. Anyway thanks for reading my fan fic and i hope any writing you do goes well for you.

[dream1990]

3536788 ok or if you want you can write that in this story

[massive dawn fade fan]

3537197 okay when i have finished the projects i am currently working on i will add the desierd chapter and thankyou again for showing an interest in my work

[dream1990]

3537334 ok and your welcome again

[massive dawn fade fan]

3537197 if you want to write that in this story you can if you want i dont know how to let you though so if you want to do it you will have to tell me how to let you add it

[dream1990]

3545174 ok and dose that mean that you will not add that to this story or put it in a new story

[massive dawn fade fan]

3545424 if you dont want to write it i will write it but i have allot of writing outside of mlp to do if you want to write it then be my guest but as i said i will write it if you dont want to

[dream1990]

3551091 ok and i don't want to

[massive dawn fade fan]

3551110 ok i will let you know when i have done it and when i itend to start it

[dream1990]

3551118 yeah and ok

[massive dawn fade fan]

3551126 have you read any good fanfics that are good recently
i need new reading material

[dream1990]

3551223 no i have not

[massive dawn fade fan]

3551231 i have one you may like it is called we apples three and by the same author B.B.B.F.F.B.R they are well written and have a good plot. also my faverout author Dawnfade has written loads of good storys her best being vinyl and octavia university days and colours of the rainbow they are really well written and are my two faverout fanfictions.

[dream1990]

3551246 ok and can you give me a link to it

[One Big Macintosh]

...Oki doki loki kiddo, let's start with this...

Way too rushed, Fluttershy wanting to host a party?, what for?, there´s no explanation for that, Fanfics are stories about characters of something already make, the difference about stories with characters everyone already knows and the ones you created is that you have to keep loyal to their personalities. You can't just come and say that Fluttershy wanted to host a party. You should give an explanation for that at least. So Pinkie is drunk and she just goes and kiss Vinyl?. You write something about AJ revealing she is a fillyfooler, why don't start the story from there?.

The characters... Not character development at all. Ok... "My name is Applejack, im the element of honesty and im drunk, and because of that im going to reveal to a mare from i have been in love with for almost a year that i love her"... "hey im Fluttershy and yeah why not i love too"

Slow things down, take sometime to give some detail, to let us know what the characters feel, what you did there was only to put the first thing that crossed your mind in a text. Yes that is good, to write your ideas, but next time that you write the first thing that comes to your mind, take a moment to read it and add some more care to your work. Details, character development, situations, not just "i love you, you love me ,yay".

Read some good fanfics so you can see a little bit of what im talking about. I could recomend some really good ones for you to read, but first i need to know if you are interested and your age so i can give you some material proper for your age. Im not gonna give you a thumb down, im just gonna ask you to try and do your best so you can avoid all of those thumbs down, so you don't make people think they wasted their time reading this and get someone to read your work before posting it.