It was 3:43 a.m., Wednesday, November 20th, 2013, and about ten hours ago I had an extremely stupid idea. Which I am now carrying out.
Knock knock knock "Twilight!" Knock knock knock "Twilight!" Knock knock knock "Twilight!" I rapped on the door of her tree house library.
I heard mumbles and groans and possibly a dragon cursing. Twilight threw open one of her upper windows and sharply whispered down to me. "Super, what the buck it's almost four in the morning!"
"Really Twilight?" I said. "I didn't know that. I thought it was a wonderful sunny afternoon. Yeah, I'm sorry to wake you, but I kinda need, no would be pleased by--no that sounds wrong... I want your help Twilight."
Twilight sighed and threw her head back lightly in frustration. "Can it wait until morning dude?"
"Um, well, technically, it was due like eight or nine hours ago, but I figure it's better late than never, right?"
Twilight unsurprisingly groaned. "You want help on an assignment or something? But it's already tardy? Seriously, of all the Super Trampolines in the world, you're the Super Trampolinest. Guhhhh! I'll be down in a moment." She shut the window just a bit too loudly, and the clap echoed starkly through the deserted town. Yeah, Ponyville can be kinda creepy at night.
My ears flicked listlessly about, tuning in to the cricket chirps here and there, or the occasional rustling of the fall leaves in the gentle breeze. It was a great opportunity to work on my scene description skills, but it was cut short when Twilight opened her front door, clad in her pajamas. "You're lucky I'm feeling like a benevolent ruler tonight. Come in and tell me what's up."
I trotted inside, which was pleasantly a few degrees warmer, and she closed the door behind me with one of her wings. I'm still not used to seeing those affixed to her back. I don't think she is entirely either. "Would you like some hot tea?" she asked groggily.
"Sure," I replied, even though I really prefer Dr. Pepper. But beggars can't be choosers and I was definitely about to beg Twilight for a huge and unusual favor.
She walked to the kitchen while stifling a yawn, and I sat down on the stool in front of her writing desk. Remembering that I was currently a pony and that it is perfectly normal and acceptable for ponies to sit on the floor, I hoped off of the stool and did just that. I eagerly waited for the tea; one can only run on fumes and ADHD medication for so long when it is one's second night in a row getting hardly any sleep. Fortunately, she soon poked her head out from the doorway and invited me to the kitchen to consume the boring but all natural caffeinated beverage she had made for me. Is it just me, or am I superfluously wordy when I'm tired? So yeah, we started talking.
"So what can I do for you?" she asked.
"Well, remember how a few weeks ago during the 100th chapter special of my horrible shipfic anthology (A few weeks ago that is, in the Equestrian universe; here on earth I am nowhere near writing that chapter yet, you know weird wibbly wobbly timey whimies and all that.) it was revealed that I am not actually a real pony, but rather a fictional avatar for an alien residing in another dimension, created so that he can pretend to interact with you and other ponies in Equestria in a ritual known as 'role-playing', or perhaps more cynically as 'crappy self-insert fanfiction'?"
Twilight's eyes bugged out for a moment, and she shook her head vigorously. "Come again?"
Yeah, I'm a sucker for overly complex sentences. "Remember," I again started, "how a few weeks ago I revealed that I'm not of this world?"
Twilight nodded. "Yeah, I also remember you claiming I'm a written-word fan reconstruction of the lead character in a beloved children's cartoon on 'Earth'. In other words, I had to bust you out of the psychiatric ward which you were thrown in for emphatically insisting that I am a fictional character. How could I not remember?" If there was frustration in her bosom, she was doing a good job hiding it behind her second cup of tea. I think she's taking after Celestia.
Yeah, I think I use the word "Yeah" too much. "Yeah, and you're still not real. I'm so sorry. But that's okay! I can still use your help."
"Cut to the chase Super. I'm afraid I am not as amiable as I normally am at this late hour."
"Right, right! So, um, I'd like you to hang out with me in my world for a little bit."
You know what is evil? I purposely timed my delivery of that line so that it took place just as Twilight took a sip of her third cup of tea. It worked.
"PPPTHTHTTPHBBTHTBHT!!!" She ejected the tea from her mouth as an involuntary reaction to my outlandish statement. Just as planned.
"Gahhh! Look what you made me do!" she exclaimed when confronted with her tea and saliva varnished table. "You want me to do what?"
"Come with me Twilight." From nowhere, swelling strings rose up and soared over the room (I may have gotten Pinkie to teach me her ways.). I began to sing.
... Well, I'd like to to relate what I sang, but site rules state that I can't. But I will point out the pleasant coincidence that Aladdin was likewise serenading a sequestered princess who had only recently discovered life outside the castle walls.
Needless to say Twilight was unamused. "I'm sure that's a trite pop culture reference where you come from. But seriously, you want me go through a portal or something? I went through a portal once. It was awful."
I and many others share your sentiments Twilight. "Right, well, I'm not asking you to recover a crown in a highly convoluted and cliché way. Furthermore, no dancing will be involved. I understand that's a weakness of yours.
Twilight flinched. "Uhhh I-I-I don't w-what you're talking about. Heh, I'm a-a-a a great dancer!"
"Twilight, you can drop the act. Remember, my world has a documentary series on you guys?"
"Umm, oh yeah. I still don't get how that works. Oh hey! If I hang out with you in your world, I can do SCIENCE! Why didn't I realize this sooner! Sure, whatever, I'll hang out with you while you do your (late) assignment. Let's go!"
Wow, that was easy. Note to self: the promise of research is the ultimate carrot on a stick for Twilight. "Okay Twilight, you ready to help me with geography homework? Off we go!"
POOF! and we were gone.
Damn you got the longest story title ever so ima have ta read it also FIRST
3517242 I wanted to make it longer but it got cut off.
3517242
No FIRST posts!
So ads for vacationing in Morro Bay are now popping up on FimFiction for me. Oh Google AdSense, you sly dog!
Damn it. I wanted to have a stupidly long story title first. Well, I guess that The Boys Bands Have Won award is going to you then.
And just for references sake, the full, unedited title of The Bands Have Won is The Boy Bands Have Won, And All The Copyists And The Tribute Bands And The TV Talent Show Producers Have Won, If We Allow Our Culture To Be Shaped By Mimicry, Whether From Lack Of Ideas Or From Exaggerated Respect. You Should Never Try To Freeze Culture. What You Can Do Is Recycle That Culture. Take Your Older Brother's Hand-Me-Down Jacket And Re-Style It, Re-Fashion It To The Point Where It Becomes Your Own. But Don't Just Regurgitate Creative History, Or Hold Art And Music And Literature As Fixed, Untouchable And Kept Under Glass. The People Who Try To 'Guard' Any Particular Form of Music Are, Like The Copyists And Manufactured Bands, Doing It The Worst Disservice, Because The Only Thing That You Can Do To Music That Will Damage It Is Not Change It, Not Make It Your Own. Because Then It Dies, Then It's Over, Then It's Done, And The Boy Bands Have Won.
3517260 Did you plan this to have exactly 1,234 words?
3517604 no, but I noticed that too. Happy coincidence.
Holy Jesus Fuck, you went to Saddleback?
3521393 in Orange County? Yeah. I mostly just do field studies camping trips there. My main college is Irvine Valley College.
3521545
Hysterical, man, I attended, oh, about 5 years ago. Lived right down the street.
3521554 have you been to any of the SoCal Bronies meetups?
3521614
Been out of town for a few months, but I'm moving back next month. I could join up.
3521674 you totally should! SoCal Bronies
dat title
3582063 I wanted to make it longer but it kept getting cut off.
Moar!
3622034 Moar is planned. It's just a matter of getting down to writing it.
3622034 sounds like a sim.
Enjoyable.