Oneshot Grab-Bag

by Banchoking

Don't Scream (Humor/TCB)

Rarity sat in front of the large, luxurious vanity mirror in her Canterlot suite. Ever since the humans almost broke the barrier last month, Celestia had wanted to make sure that the Element bearers were close by. "Luckily the Princess got the barrier up before any of those ruffians could get in," she smiled as she blew on her hoof polish until a large pair of hands clamped roughly over her mouth and horn.

"Don't scream or I'll break your neck. Understand?"

Rarity looked in the mirror and her blood ran cold. Standing behind her was a very angry, very armed human with the letters HLF on his Flak jacket. She forced herself to nod.

The human reluctantly took his hands off of her.

Rarity stood up slowly, so as not to agitate him. "You're here to take advantage of me aren't you? To taste the forbidden fruit of the Eden that is Equestria," she shuddered, "Just be quick about it!" she closed her eyes and turned her head as she threw herself onto a couch that she materialized seemingly out of nowhere. It was all very dramatic.

The human was taken aback, "Ewww! No!"

Her eyes snapped back open, "'Ewww!?'" She jumped back into a standing position, "Why in blue blazes not?" she scowled.

"I just want directions to Celestia's chambers. I'm not fucking a horse," he pointed his gun at her.

Rarity turned her head away, pointed her nose at the ceiling and gave an indignant hmph, "Well, I'm not going to beg."

The human pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

Rarity's cheeks reddened, "Well, maybe I'll beg a little."

Author's Note:

Based on this scene from The Venture Brothers.

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