it ended too fast.

3458898 I did say I didn't have high hopes besides it was just a random story only to get my mind off my other. Thanks for the feedback though

3458898

*walks on stage*
"ahem"
-silence-
"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"
*bows*appluase*
*walks off stage*

back on topic, good story but i would have to agree with him.

right more if you will, but no futashy. if thats alright with you...

3459115 Duly noted. Doesn't help the story's based off a crappy picture

3459209 Thanks, yeah I want to get a proofreader but I don't know who. Thanks for the comment, im hoping the next one will be better.

3459249 I think we could work something out and yeah I play xbox, not as much as I used to but I still do

I enjoyed it :D small story, but it got the point across in a reasonable time. Please write more ^_^

Could'a been longer. We don't see Flutterlestia very often.

Good Story, but far too short!

I wanna see the pic it was based off of.

3458908 Not, it's great. Just go back, make it longer, and put more into the smut part. It would be so much better if you tripled the length of the sex scene. Another tip, have Celestia do something that represents "claiming" Fluttershy. I.e. mind control, collar, tramp stamp, enslavement through pleasure/addiction to the royal cock. Then, have the other mane 6 succum to the glory that is Celestia. The royal harem has been empty for over a century and need to be refilled by needy mares.

Hermaphroditic princesses... methinks Mr. Sentry is in for a surprise

In any case, I agree with the above comments that the sex scene should have been longer and more drawn out. As also stated above, you could continue this with Celestia claiming the rest of the six as their encounters don't pan out like they expected.

3460711 Maybe I don't know. It was meant to be just a one shot thing but maybe ill add more chapters. IDK

3461082 I think you should keep going, I really like it

it was nice, but it could be better. Now you have to write Celestia claming the other girls!

i could fix this up for you, if you allowed me. I mean, I don't even want to count all the errors you made. But don't worry, everyone makes tons of errors.

3458898that's what she said

3463625 somepony beat you to it bub.

Desperately needs to be continued.

Wasn't there a futa celestia claims fluttershy comic (wip) somewhere? I'd have to check.. it's on a tumblr

edit:found it..infernal-beggar made the post

She let out a throaty moan as her nipples hardened and began to leak milk on herself.

...This sort of broke immersion for me. Tits, or teats if you want to nitpick, do not work that way. And since no magic was involved in making them leak, that's not an excuse either.

But other than that, not bad.

Needs editing.