Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane

by Emerald Oracle

Summer Sun Fun

"NO! The streamers go over there!" Pinkie yelled at a thoroughly confused Kenny who, thanks to his height, had been hired out to Ponyville to do decorations. Currently he was putting streamers on town hall.

"Pinkie! Make up your mind! There are other ponies who need him you know?" Rainbow called as Kenny shifted his position yet again to set up the streamers. Twilight had been the one to call for his aid. When she was requested to organize the celebration in Canterlot, she didn't want to leave Ponyville understaffed. So she asked that Kenny work for a small pay as handyman during the setup. Kenny had nothing better to do so he agreed. Now He was being dragged to and fro to do all sorts of jobs, even get Rarity's cat out of a tree. The smiley face band-aids did little to ease his suffering.

"There! Right there! Perfect!" Pinkie finally said as Kenny taped the streamers into the Town Hall. Once the streamers were set Pinkie spoke to Rainbow, "Why do you need him? You can fly silly willy!"

"I don't need him, but a certain mayor forced me to get him. She needs him to set up some banners inside."

"Well he's all done here! Go ahead and take him!" Pinkie said cheerfully as Kenny stepped down from the step-ladder.

"Don't I have a say in this?" Kenny asked. He had been pulled around like this all day and had begun to regret coming at all.

"Nope." Rainbow said. She then flew into him and pushed him inside the Town Hall. Once inside she flew off to deal with some other preparation for the Summer Sun Celebration. Mayor Mare saw him and was quick to respond.

"Oh! There you are!" Mrs. Mare said with a warm smile. "Our large friend from Canterlot! I've heard a lot about you! Is it true that you are the personal escort of Princess Luna?"

Kenny cringed when she said escort, "No, we are just friends." Ever since Kenny and Luna had started hanging out more the paparazzi had jumped to all kinds of conclusions, ranging from Kenny being Luna's equivalent of a stallionfriend to Kenny being a demonic new breed of changeling that had brainwashed Luna. No one could believe that Luna and he were just friends. It had gotten so bad that Luna even let a national newspaper interview her to confirm this fact. Sadly, it had done little to stop the media from trying to find out the 'truth'.

"Oh. Well never mind then. Back to why I called you here. I need you to climb that ladder and hang up these banners" Mrs. Mare pulled out a couple banners, each with either Luna or Celestia's cutie marks. "After this you should be done. Assuming, of course, no pony else has need of you."

Kenny nodded and got to nailing. He was glad he kept himself in good shape, or else he wouldn't have been able to do all this work. As Kenny went on with his monotonous act of nailing the banners to the rafters, he thought back on the time he had been spending with Luna.

After their little spat they had, as friends always do, instantly made up minutes later and went on with their lives. Luna took him to various parties and introduced him to the many nobles. His favorite was when he re-met Blueblood. The sniveling brat had been shaking like a leaf the entire time. When they weren't being dragged around to parties they were enjoying each other's company. Luna told him stories the legends of Equestria. Tales of the Goddess, their creator, and of the time under Discord's rule. Kenny told her of human legends. He spoke of Perseus, Joan of Arc, John 117 and Commander Shepard. There friendship grew as the days went by. Luna hadn't confided in him her crush yet, fearing that she will shatter her new friendship. She cherished him, a friend who downright ignored her royalty. She loved that he didn't fear her power or status as so many others do. She didn't want to ruin that for someone she could cuddle with.

Kenny saw Luna as that crazy eccentric friend that was too cool to lose. Luna deeply hated this as she realized she was sinking into a dreaded area modern ponies called the 'friendzone'.

"What under the heaven's is that?!" A crash sounded as a large, thorny, black vine crashed through a window and into Kenny's ladder. Kenny came down to earth and crashed painfully onto the wooden paneling. Then the vine wrapped around his leg.

"Fuck..."

Kenny was pulled out of Town Hall and thrown like a rag doll across the square. He impacted with the side of some poor pony's house. Why was the pony poor? Because Kenny's weight was just enough to smash the wall. Kenny also got some nasty bruises, in case you cared.

Kenny pulled himself out of the rubble to see most of the town panicking as various vines assaulted their homes and businesses. He barely noticed another creeper sneak up behind him and leapt out of the way just as it tried to snag him. He groaned as his various bruises and cuts lashed out at his movement. Ignoring it, he ran into the nearest building, ducking under the low doorway and closing the door behind him.

The home was empty, luckily, which gave Kenny the time to pull out his problem solver.

"C'mon Arcana, give me something good." Kenny opened the book and read its contents.

Man-eating plants? Easy. Say hello to the one and only Mage's Blade! This is a construct spell that takes the form of the noblest of all weapons. Now this spell requires some prep. You need to fully visualize the weapon. The strength of this weapon will be completely determined by your focus.

Kenny held out his hand and visualized the first sword that came to mind, the Soul Edge.

"Fel Edge..." It sufficed to say he lacked creativity in his moment of desperation.

Kenny watched in awe as the six foot blade materialized before him. It seemed to be made of an inky black, sparkling crystal carefully shaped into the static copy of Soul Edge.

"Cool..."

Kenny grabbed the gigantic blade and marveled at its lightness. It felt like it was made of foam and yet was as firm as steel. Gripping it with the resolve of a true warrior, Kenny once again ducked through the door and back into the fray. Immediately after walking outside a vine whipped at him. With one clean swing the vine was chopped away. Kenny looked to the Everfree Forest, what seemed to be the source of the offending plants, and looked down at his blade.

"Sometimes a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do..."

---

Luna was currently residing in a cocoon made of numerous black vines. These vines had used a combination of subterfuge and knockout gas. Now she was unconscious and powerless, held captive by these creepers. Luna, meanwhile, was enjoying a sweet, gas-induced dream.

"Luna!" Cried an armor clad Kenny, his face rugged and sporting a luxurious beard. "I have come to claim thy hand!" Luna looked down upon her silver shelled savior from her perch in vine covered tower several stories high.

"Oh! Kenneth our love! Dost thou be true in thy words?" Luna called.

"Verily! What say you fair Princess of the Night?" Kenny knelt down. "Will thou take this my hand and heart, now and forever?"

Luna leapt out of her window and glided down to him. She touched down with utmost grace. "Of course our dearest! We are yours, now and forever." Kenny pulled her into a hug, his armor radiating a strange, unearthly warmth. Luna placed her hooves around his neck and let her head rest on his chest. She loved him, she knew this. She had never quite met someone who made her feel as happy and cared for as he did besides her sister and parents. She was devoted to this creature of another world.

"I'm sorry..." Luna's ears perked as she heard Kenny's voice speak those sad words. They confused her.

"I have to go." Luna found she was no longer in Kenny's arms but instead in the palace courtyard. Kenny was there, but he was not wearing the armor. He was wearing a black cloak that draped over his entire body, the hood was pulled down and let her see the sorrow written on his face.

"Why?" Luna's mouth moved on its own. She found she had no control over her body, it did not respond to any of her commands. "Why do you need to go?"

"You know why, I'm dangerous. A ticking time bomb. One little slip-up and you and everyone else I care about is gone. I can't risk that."

Luna felt her face contort in anger, tears falling from her eyes. "You swore, Kenneth. You swore that you would never leave me again. I thought you loved me!"

Kenny pulled his hood up. A hand reached up and out of his cloak tracing three symbols in the air in then connecting them all with a circle. "I do. That's why I can't stay." The circle filled with a shimmering black color and expanded till its diameter matched his height. Kenny turned to the portal, staring into its depths.

"Goodbye, Luna."

---

Twilight and friends were walking through the Everfree in search of the Tree of Harmony. As of yet things had been quiet and the progress steady.

"Uhhh, any o'yall hear dat?" Applejack asked. The girls all stopped and perked their ears up, listening for the noise Applejack had mentioned.

"Must have been nothing." Twilight said after a full minute of your average spooky forest noises. "Let's kee-"

They all stopped when they heard a distant rustling and a tiny voice. It grew in volume as the source got closer. Soon they were able to make out what was being said.

"LEEEEEROY JEEEEEENKIIINS!!!!" Yelled Kenny as he chopped his way through the brush of the forest, briefly crossing paths with the Mane Six, and continuing on his merry way.

Rainbow Dash was the first to speak, "Uhhh... What just happened?"

---

"Chop, chop, chop the vine. Chop, chop, chop the vine. Chop, chop, chop the vine." Kenny finished the last line with another cut of the swaths of vines that assaulted him. "Make a chimichanga." Kenny wiped away the sweat that had built up on his brow. He assumed the increased number of vines meant he was getting close to their source, an assumption entirely based on modern gaming logic. He kept going forward, slicing anything that got in his way with his giant sword. The spell sword had given him an incredible sense of manly power. He felt like nothing could stand in his way.

Eventually he reached a gigantic, and familiar, chasm. The vines seemed to radiate outward from within it's foggy depths. He was about to venture into the chasm with all caution thrown to the wind when a creeper grabbed his foot and dragged him back into the forest. He was dragged a good fifteen yards through brush and grass before he came to a rest surrounded by several vine with strange, venus fly trap heads.

Kenny simply raised his blade in a prepared defense against these no doubt man-eating plants. He prepared to cast a shield to match his sword when one of the plants sprayed him with a strange gas. Its effects were immediate, causing Kenny to suddenly see the plants in a new hazy light. Visions of the dreaded 'Facehuggers' from the Alien franchise plagued his mind. His mental fortitude shattered by his fear, Soul Edge fell to the ground and shattered. The magical whiplash that caused was the final nail in the coffin and Kenny fainted.

The thorny plants all looked at each other in confusion as they saw what had been not minutes before cutting through its brethren like they were made of butter cower like a month old foal after only one spritz. When nothing else happened, they slunk off to find other beings to terrify.

Kenny came to later. He found that the plants were gone and sighed with relief.He picked himself off the ground and dusted himself off. He re-summoned his fake-edge and headed out before the facehuggers came back. He ran back out and to the chasm he was at earlier. He noticed lights coming through the fog at the far end of the chasm. He looked around for a way down and found some conveniently placed stairs to take. He ran down the steps and to the end of the chasm just in time to see Twilight being attacked by more vines, the Elements of Harmony swirling around her.

"I'll save you!" Kenny yelled large blade posed to strike. He leapt up, and let yell a primal yell.

A single, thick vine slapped him upside the head and into the wall, instantly knocking him out.

The end.

---

"HAha ha ha ha.... HAHA HAH haha ha..." Luna was still laughing as Kenny nursed the large bump on his forehead where he had hit the cave wall. She had been told by the others of his daring rescue attempt and its anti-climatic failure. As much as she loved the poor sap, just imagining the scenario was enough to produce giggles. His embarrassed blush and pout only enhanced her mirth.

"It was cool..." Kenny muttered.

"Cool? What part of going through all that build up to taken out by a single of Discord's plunder seeds was cool?"

"Shut up."

"What!?" Luna said in mock shock. "How dare you speak to your ruler in such a way!"

"First, you're not my ruler. Second, I can say whatever I want, diplomatic immunity bitch. Third, you, a powerful demigod, we're defeated and captured by a plant." It was Luna's turn to blush. Kenny smiled at his victory over her. He reached out and grabbed her before she could notice. He pulled her in close and gave her a noogie while saying, "I'm kidding, you need to lighten up miss princess of the dark."

Luna pushed him away saying in return, "I am not princess of the dark! I am Princess of the Night!" Kenny's only response was a hearty laugh. Luna's face softened at the noise and she eventually gave in to mirth as well. They just sat their laughing at their silliness.

"I swear, you two are the cutest couple this side Appleloosa"

Both parties turned to Discord, who had been watching from the safety of the doorway. This was followed by a blue beam and a fireball making way for the draconeques's face. Discord merely laughed it off and disappeared.

Comments

[Blue Spark]

Kiss and make up, quick and clean.
I like it.

[IAmInASnuggie]

Welp, that was unexpected.

[Emerald Oracle]

3566973
There was no kissing though...

[Blue Spark]

3567003
It's an expression, though that didn't mean that Luna wouldn't have wanted it to be that way though... XD

[Ninjahzzzz]

In their Tongue,He is Weirdakiin,Plantborn

[Kage no Brony]

3567307

You... this... what...

Made my day.

[Dubious]

Good chapter, maybe I should finish up season three and begin on season four? Nah, my bloodlust is too high.

[Maeroon]

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/263/914/ede.jpg

[Ninjahzzzz]

3567959 Im glad i was able to make your day

[King Toxic]

nobody is going to talk about leeroy jenkins?